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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
October 29, 2018
Rosemarie and the Prince dance, while Hick and Kook are forced to eat sausages as their punishment for neglecting their Princessly duties

I am not good at summing up my experiences. I want to include every detail and it is not possible, even though I take pictures constantly and write myself numerous notes as if I intended to summarize all things.


One thing that did come up amidst the alternative space weekend art business, which has come up previously and does not take long to express: this image, known as “Tidal Knave,” is the main picture that I seem to sell a 8.5×11 page print or 5×7 grating card of at every show, going back to 2010. Which I appreciate! But it confounds me that most people seem unaware of the assault the creature has taken.

How is the scene interesting without that part? Without that it is just a strange inaccurate humanoid animal in the wrong part of the country standing on a noticeably more realistic beach and looking at the ground! I cannot have people thinking I approve of this dork! Something bad MUST be happening to it.

Also, this is what you see if the most recent 17×22 inch print jumps off the wall, surely in search of doing more punishment.



October 25, 2018
The Beautiful You: Celebrating the Good Life Shopping Mall Tour ’87




hopefully not to be explained or drawn in more considered detail later! Considering how that went.
It is a stereotyped thought based on a number of things that happened and/or felt like they were happening within several months



October 15, 2018
Whoever finds the almond receives a marzipan pig as a prize.[1]

it makes me mad that dumb nemitz got into this picture. don’t you know i am on, possibly over a deadline, you stupid horrid mitz? and you had to get stuck so you need help?! i do not have TIME to help you. Or maybe nemitz is just DISSATISFIED with the chocolate that mit has and is demanding the other imp hand over its doughnut fragment. I appreciate that the other imp is ignoring nemitz’s TOXIC behaviour. Sometimes that is the only way they learn.



January 20, 2018
Wave Race 64 received critical acclaim from critics


Why does the father of sword and sorcery look like the father of tommy guns and bootlegging?

The answer being the hat.



December 24, 2017
I’m Billy Ray Cyrus and I’m gonna tell you something you already know: our US troops just rock


Well that just seems rude!

Also: I initially included the full view of this object and talked about it more and it wasn’t funny. This also isn’t funny but it is a better value.



December 6, 2017
Jack, get back C’mon before we crack


I had much amusement from this box back in 2006


I must say they were a lot more entertaining before Grimvald quit the group.

Truth: I personally consider it too time consuming to slice things up to put on crackers. Slicing stuff for crackers is like the making your bed of the snacking world. I microwave-heat soup in a regular bowl instead of putting a pot on the stove because I don’t have time to clean pots, so I definitely don’t have time to get out a knife and a plate and another plate and deal with all that unless I am making a big sandwich, and I don’t even do that! I ate a lump of baked ham as a lunch today. And I don’t have time to write about that, either! I hope you didn’t have time to read it! All the joy drained from my life without that fourth cracker.

in other 2006 news, my web page about the Super NES game Whirlo remains comatose.



November 23, 2017
It is interesting to note that when Mario stomps on a Bunbun, it instantaneously turns into a skeleton.


It’s-a me, Cornycopio!

The only thank-giving food I like better than acorns are preschool magnet letters.

I am thankful that they grow on the same tree.



October 22, 2017
VirtueMart is a cool Joomla MVC based eCommerce CMS framework that’s rife with several advantages,

Last week I said you would “see if I don’t” have some sort of ordering thing set up this week, and that is the only reason I am forcing out this incomplete update now, so that I see it before you do.

A specific thing that occurred during the armory show was one person was interested in buying something but declined to do so on that occasion, asking me “your website has a store, right?” What I should have said was “no,” or possibly “no, but give me your email address and we can sort this out.” Instead of that, I said something that I do not recall but it was not “no” and I believed I could make something superficially resembling a store in a short period. I really could not, and partway through realized I would have great difficulty meeting orders on a set and consistent schedule and consequently would prefer to not have people automatically charged by an automated system, which they seem to all consistently do. Meanwhile if that person came to this website they would have just seen mopey rubbish. Further, of all the potential options with the same capabilities I could have gone with for the “store” I have not finished, I chose the one which does THIS at checkout:


Apart from the British train tickets that I was alluding to but apparently failed to mention deep amidst the last time I went off on this sort of business behavior, literally i cannot remember ever buying ANYTHING off the internet that prompted me for MR or MRS. Why does this have to strike NOW on MY website, and reveal itself so late? In fact selecting one is optional, but it being there at all implies first that it is not optional, and also that I am demanding it. I look like a total hippogriff. Really, truly, as if I would go out of my way to force this on people, BEFORE I inverted the color scheme and inserted some garish graphics and inappropriate text? On merchandise that costs less than a pizza?
Barnaborf Squank, I present to you now, Crapt’n Ecoli’s Underpee Adventures*.
Hey, that’s MISTER Barnaborf to you.

*I am not actually selling prints of that.
Also, non-married women may apparently not purchase prints.

Oh EYE see how it is.



October 15, 2017
this parrot does not inspire me at all




Thank to anyone who visited my hallway extravablandza at the city wide open studio armory weekend. For those unaware, I was holding an intensive two-day research project in which I set out to determine if people like free candy, occasionally taking breaks to pick up art prints that mysteriously would not stick to crumbly bare plaster walls. The results may choc you.

I do not know “art people,” I do not have a lot of understanding of how to use big spaces or how to enlist help to seem organized or “legitimate,” so the attention I got a from a few visitors, who really seemed to CARE that I was there, even though I am a terrible carpenter, am not in touch with my heritage, and am trying to amuse rather than shock or guilt or whatever, that means a lot to me, even if I barely cover my expenses. The genuine interactions with real people are more important than the money (though money is more important than plenty of things), or having to get 150 pounds of nonsense up and down two flights of stairs and in and out of a building with no doors in convenient places. That makes me think, perhaps this IS going SOMEWHERE not 100% disastrous, or potentially could if I became able to do more of the things I said I could not do.

And YES, I do sell art prints! Alas I do not have an order form up and running as of yet but I will make that my project for this week if not tomorrow and you see if I don’t. Any objects in the awkward art page section can theoretically be printed and sent anywhere but you will have to contact me directly such as at [email protected]

Also if you took pictures of my paintings and walked off without taking a card, writing in the guestbook, making eye contact or in any way acknowledging I existed, as if this is “found art” that nobody made and you are great for discovering, or alternatively like I am a goon for daring to show silly nonsense in your serious art converted squatter mansion, then you won’t see this message so I do not need to say what I hypothetically think of that, which is good because I am usually exaggerating when I have thoughts like that.


I probably did not make as many sales as last year, but I was definitely more organized; compare the size and shape of my post-show tape ball from this year with last year’s.



October 3, 2017
Take me to the room where the blacks all white And the white’s are black, take me back to the shack


This is a great original idea. You see, some people are WHITE, and they’re STUFFY and UPTIGHT, but now there are people who are BLACK and they wear BASEBALL HATS and they listen to MUSIC. In fact I don’t think we’ve ever had a political candidate who wore ugly red hats in public and said stupid garbage to get attention that didn’t become president while this show was in production and invalidate its already played out premise that being an obnoxious moron who SHAKES THINGS UP solves every- or anything.

In fact there was even a feature film in 1998 called Bulworth about a politician who started rapping and dressing like he couldn’t afford clothing, but of course he was white and does not count. And likewise our president now is not a black man. We did have a black man as president but not a loud moron who said things like “I’m dropping a V-BOMB on this budget!” but having to explain that he did not literally mean using explosives after seeing how many WHITE people got freaked out, ooh!


However, there was a Chris Rock film in which a black man became president and declared that “the roof is on fire!” and then had to clarify that the roof was not literally on fire while white people got panicked and looked old. What is funny, if not the clips deliberately chosen to represent these things, is that Chris Rock himself is one of the less-moronic 1990s comedians to star in feature films but has to pretend to be one in order to be allowed to star in films. And apparently to write and produce them, even.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: December 6, 2018
Frimpinheap sez:
I know nothing of these “lovable” dopes which you refer to.
December 6, 2018
Bad cow sez:
But why would any upstanding being want to hurt such lovable dopes?
December 5, 2018
Frimpinheap sez:
at some point you will be able to physically assault them. The previous dopes, in fact the...
December 5, 2018
Indighost sez:
The feeling of total confusion and bafflement that this gives me is really new, interesting,...
December 5, 2018
Frimpinheap sez:
I can send them directly but the website that i should be able to sell them through has...
December 5, 2018
spork sez:
tangentially related question: are the copies of the second volume of these comic blocks now...
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