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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
September 26, 2017
His father was well educated and, for those days, very wealthy, since he was also a corn dealer.

Through my illicit use of wimpod‘s markers, a mildly inaccurate Techno (pinkish bipedal raccoon-fox-person robot) wards off an incredibly inaccurate lope (pathetic amphiboid) with the power of corn. If ever you wonder why all my internet-displayed art is digitally created: otherwise it takes twice as long to make and looks like I have twice as many mental disorders as usual. Which is probably more accurate, but concealing them is the first thing I ever did right! However, after I die from a dope overdose, these ought to be worth almost half as much money as my prints, which counts for something (between $5 and $7.50).
More distressing than the length of lope’s legs: my initial twitter post said “a mildly inaccurate Techno wards of an incredibly inaccurate lope.” I assure you Techno is not the ward of lope. Lope is not fit to be the legal guardian for a potato.
One final matter: can you find the pine cone in this picture? Secret hint: I drew it after this photograp was taken, so you cannot!

September 20, 2017
The Twitter user whose Clinton golf GIF Trump retweeted Sunday has an account handle that relies on the phonetic spelling of the f-word.

The task of reformatting/relettering/rewriting pages has reached the second basement section, its most troubled point, that I knew would be troublesome, and had meant to tend to even before I thought it feasible to print a book with that in it. And I think I will not finish the book in time to have an example copy for City Wide Open Studios Armory Weekend on October 14 and 15 in New Haven Connecticut, but just having it done at all will be a major relief to me. Someday I will finish all my ancient projects, and then I can die. Or live. Undecided.

The dialog is crammed in ways it should not be, and characters, pog especially, say things they should not say. the Short Circuit robot in the background, which I left in, is not the same thing as pog specifically mentioning Don Knotts. but then i went and had kumquat do it, despite that being a more serious character whose illogic can be less excused, so what am i even trying to accomplish? You know what, I have never watched Three’s Company or Short Circuit. I have no business making inappropriate references to either.
The saturated purple being subdued is a natural byproduct of me enlarging the base in Adope Illustrator, which I would correct were Adope Illustrator not generally better informed as to which colors will actually print out the way they look onscreen than I am.

Also a problem: where I had meant to split two pages into three, I seem to not have enough dialog for a full third page, even with it decompressed to be less forced where it does not belong. I could definitely add frames to the elpse dream session to fill in the gaps, but considering how immersion-breaking it is, after already having a problem with that, i would like to keep that on one page only!

Elsewhere, the meddling screws up the panel placement. Some things that are funny midway through a page seem less so at the end of the page, where they come across like i think they are funnier than they are.

and some things that are funny as page conclusions are easily ignored if placed midway through a page, since I need the next frame to seem to follow from it. Even in a fully continuous comic strip, page boundaries have a magical power, where time is imagined to have passed, so that not everything need be shown and stated. And in this particular example what formerly started the next page now needs a transition before it, so the “oh yes of course!” doesn’t seem to come out of nowhere, pog’s closed eyes are noticeable both times, and the creature does not appear to be sleepwalking, also. But still, the viewer’s mind filling in what should be there is more efficient and more effective than me forcing on in. Alas, my action is necessary. As are panel boundaries. Amazon assures me they will be arriving any day now. Isn’t it nice that with five massive hurricanes and two earthquakes in three weeks and our president all but daring North Korea to shoot nuclear missiles at us, this is my biggest problem? Not at all; having my computer on this desk hurts my neck.

August 21, 2017
we must behave like old sea-dogs

June 7, 2017
Partners in Piracy. Rivals in Romance. Allies in Adventure.

This identity-concealing criminal who escaped from a 19th century chain gang wants ME to be safe and obey the rules?
Steal all the hamburgers you want from the corporate clown who’s the only person keeping you out of jail but don’t you dare jump in the ball pit. Of note is that this guy is actually over the limit , and would have to violate the law to enforce it

This is literally visible from the same point as the rule chart. He is kidnapping eyewitnesses and eating them. What a monster!

Is this amusing you, Ronald? Why are you protecting this scoundrel, and letting him “run” your playplace? What dirt does he have on you? What is this a front for?

May 24, 2017
In 2009, the super-wealthy achieve immortality by hiring “bonejackers”, mercenaries equipped with time travel devices, to snatch people from the past, just prior to the moment of their deaths, for use as substitute bodies.

Howdy. I am trying to write something important to go here, and suspect that continuing to spend time on filler updates was, in fact, spending time, rather than saving it for me, so I think putting up this extremely lame update in 5 minutes rather than a moderately lame one in two hours is more conducive to me getting the important one done. Once it IS done, my less important ones ought to be more functionally unimportant.

May 8, 2017
At a village-wide party where the Ewoks and Rebels celebrated their victory in the battle, Wicket danced and fraternized with R2-D2.[1]

A reminder to all you retcon-resenting star warfare enthusiasts out there

that George Lucas never got around to removing Sebastian Shaw from the 1997 comic book Star Wars: The Last Command issue 1

in which Princess Leia gives birth and looks like this.

Although on that note if I were force-sensitive I would be wary about doing anything near a window, knowing that a giant creepy judgmental ghost Yoda could be watching me at any time and that I would never be able to stop it or prove to anybody else that it happened. Hey, Yoda, Ben is a family friend but none of the people in there even KNOW you.

In fact I have been generally concerned about Yoda’s mental state recently.

All good? Great, I trust you.

Also, this is besides the point, but all it takes is another kid at school armed with a “va” to ruin Jaina’s life for several years. And Mr. Solo, do you NEED to wear your cowboy vest at ALL TIMES? Come on, I mean it’s the year 9-ABY already, get a new look.

Beside the point but I take issue with this comic book for exaggerating Mark Hamill’s acting skills

although I praise the depiction of his elegant fingers.

December 29, 2016
It centres on a cyborg policeman with a seemingly endless amount of gadgets he can summon by saying “Go-Go-Gadget” before the gadget’s name.

Initially I p-p-posted this on my twitto page and think its meaning did not come across consistently. Subsequently I reversed the order of the frames to make the suspicious nature more evident without outright stating “this is a joke,” even though from an artistic standpoint, which is to say artistically presenting something to seem not artistic, I like ending on “oh I am so embarrassed.”

By the time I got to THAT site, I thought it would be necessary to write “this is a joke” underneath it. I was “right.”

Incidootily the last frame is an excerpt from something so horrible that I did not post it here at any point. In part the joke was that it WAS so horrible, but I think people did not pick up on that, either. Or perhaps they just did not think it was a good joke. Maybe I should give up jokes!

November 19, 2016
I had a really really weird dream this morning about Zappa’s reasons for remixing the Ruben & the Jets album.

In frak after all that, I still have not encountered, through the inadvertent channels I encounter everything else in, a solid case made FOR Clinton. Only against Trump, and in such an event people were never going to unite behind one opposition force, and trying to shame people into abandoning their alternate opposition was also never going to work. And Clinton still won the “popular” vote, because all that comes across is how popular she is and how good she is at knowing popular people. In New York and California. So make her president of New York and California. Ha ha ha I assure you the longer and bloated this post gets the less likely I am to make another!


With regard to my freak-up last week, I think The Media owes people either impartial reporting or a clear presentation of its biases. But they tend to assume that is not necessary and that their audience is already of one mind with them. Because they have to sell advertising, and advertisers need specific targets. Television news is complete trash. It was never presented to me as: here are the facts on these candidates.” It always came across as “our candidate is cool and we’re cool and you can be cool too! plus oh oh oh she’s a lay-deh” I suppose I should have put THAT in the spiteful little comic strip but the exact sources for each of my frustrations have been difficult to determine.
If Trump is dangerous, that ought to have been reported, and reported how so, not just show the Clinton club’s latest stupid celebrity selfie stunt. I don’t understand how I become a like a pariah for refusing to support either of them, given this climate of non-information.

I realize my current stage of distrust and discomfort came about in part to riding a hype wave to electing Obama. I wasn’t closer to any of those people afterward and felt let down by the result, and I hated myself for letting myself be led. This time, I rejected the hype wave, but I still hated myself because I have so many people around me who continued to ride the hype wave that seems to be the dominant public opinion. The difference is that I hate myself based on my own choices rather than inheriting them, so this is better, I think, I hope.
I am not scared of Trump, I am scared that I have no soul. Once I sort that out I will get back to you. Obviously I am white and in Connecticut. You know I am so bent up by this I keep forgetting that I didn’t actually vote for the guy or say a single bloody thing in support of him at any point. He is a goon. Maybe I just subconsciously relate to goons. Is my personal problem the biggest threat to the country? It IS because it underlines that I want to fight almost everybody for silly reasons. But I don’t fight them and I still want to. I don’t know any white supremacists but I know loads of people who are paranoid about white supremacists and really smug about condemning them and looking conspicuously angry about them, like that’s a challenge.

Breaking: the cast of Chess has vowed to take on Mike Pence’s support for a federal flat tax if he ever comes to Sweden.
I have no recollection of ever lacking for hamilton news, but i appreciate that it recognizes its solvency and would draw a line in the sand like that, and I don’t know what a dork like Mike Pence is thinking will happen when he attends a liberal mass service like that in person, and then when he tries to walk out while it’s happening. It’s like a scene from Rent.

October 9, 2016
time spent defending his harem is time a leader cannot spend feeding himself

I am SHOCKED and OFFENDED by Donald Trump, suddenly. I was really hoping he was going to put this jerky, misogynistic behavior behind him, but then he had to go and be even worse last decade. I didn’t support him through 2015 by scrutinizing any single thing he ever did or said, after ehhh. If I can’t hold him to a higher standard off camera eleven years ago than I could in plain view last week, how can I ever trust him?

Also, I am withdrawing my support for Jeffrey Dahmer because I just read that he was into necrophilia.

Worse, it turns out that reporters for Hollywood gossip shows are soulless smirklords who will march in any direction they are turned and nudged in. Who would have thought that caring who Angelina Jolie is married to requires a distinct lack of discretion and earthly purpose? Who would have thought that a member of the Bush family will put on any suit of opinions necessary to appease the richest person in any location?

October 7, 2016
the only doppler radar on wheels, travelling TO the storm.

Middle School colon The Worst Years Of My Life might look like regressive uninspired trash but it is in fact based on the writer’s real life experience watching terrible movies about going to school.
In old bimshwel days I would look up who the actual writer was and try and make a point, but I am so detached and frazzled these days I cannot even be certain I am writing this now, which would not be good form when that writer took offense and tried to make me feel bad in my comment section.

Also, I posted this on faceboor last Sunday for some reason:

I saw the Saturday Night Live season premier for some reason I cannot wholly justify.
I think the program is in trouble when its only memorable characters, Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders, are just celebrity impressions and played by actors who aren’t in the cast or any other sketches.
Of course Saturday Night Live has been in trouble for about 75% of its existence, as 3000 nearly identical retrospective clip shows will remind you.
But does the present cast have any hope if all the attention, and presumably most of the money, goes to Alec flippindippin Baldwin?
Gosh is it fair to the actual credited host? Who even was that? I do not remember.
There was a sketch called “political family feud” that was just a mash of 9 different impressions with no time for a point.
And most of the camera time went to Kenan Thompson, who has been there for 13 years, and Darrel Hammond, who I guess just lives in the building now.
There was a Lin-Manuel McHamilton impression that was amusing just because they dared to mock that guy at all, but it didn’t really go anywhere and immediately afterward a notice stated that he is the host NEXT week, which means if that impression shows up again it will be in one of those character-meets-self sketches, which got old before I did, or far far worse, the impression meets real person and apologizes sketch, which should never have even happened once.
This is the kind of garbage MadTV was doing before it got cancelled. I distinctly remember a Buffy the Vampire sketch in which all these different characters had impressions done of them for one line but then just had to stand around dorkily while Buffy talked to Stuart or Ms Swan or whoever.
I realize I said television was “dead to me” a while back and it is. This means I do not watch shows on purpose and no long aspire to be on them or acknowledged by people who are through twitter. This makes an embarrassingly large difference.
I must also give credit to Bobby Moynihan, who joined the show right before I stopped deliberately watching it back in 200x or so, and 1) is also still there and 3) still hasn’t done anything I remembered afterward. The show in general is yet doing the exact same Kristen Wiig-style awkward chatter schtick it was back when I realized I wasn’t enjoying anything. Which would be fine for it if every ad on television and every movie in theaters (and likewise every ad in theaters) weren’t also doing it. And there is no sense to doing Jimmy Fallon-style no joke but the actors are laughing schtick either because he also has an equally non-innovative program on the same channel five nights a week.
Saturday Night Live’s only goal at this point is to stay on the air. It doesn’t have aspirations; it has a LEGACY, and more importantly no viable timeslot competition. It won’t die until somebody shoves a wooden stake through Lorne Michaels’ heart surrogate organ.

Oh deef what is this

Is it fair to joke about something that killed 300 people and destroyed 3000 homes? As long as it hasn’t killed anybody in the US yet, apparently.

Also apparently, it is better than my personal best. Far less depressing!

The hurricane edged me out by 0.13 points.

If you liked this, you obviously hate yourself, so here’s some stuff to help you realize you could be worse off.

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: March 24, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
I heard a rumor that the new blood beast will be GAY! giggle titter.
March 22, 2019
pindohodo sez:
I’m so looking forward to seeing Disney’s remake of Blood Beast of Monster Mountain!
March 22, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
Hey I finally looked up those comic strips, which I must have missed the recommendation on...
March 19, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
Now that I am finally getting critical feedback? I must be doing something right!
March 19, 2019
YOUr cosuscking dAD sez:
March 17, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
A new hat pandemic is coming. Consider this a vaccination.
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