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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
July 12, 2010
The Divisional Police Officer, Isaac Ogbogbo, a Chief Superintendent of Police, brought his experience to bear in controlling the crowd that was desperate to see the goats.

seriously I thought that said “July 14” the last time I looked, which would make a July 20 update mildly punctual in my mind. What have I been doing all this time?


Mxy’s famous Bizarre Webcomic now has a proper website! It is at last possible to start at the beginning rather than press “previous 10” 97 times on the livejournal page (or just press it 47 times to find the cbz of the first 400 strips) This is a good thing, I think. Well it might be bad if you were reserving your judgment of it until you could see it from the beginning, asserting that the only reason you didn’t like it was because it didn’t make sense to you, certain that it would make sense if you could do that. Howdy, I never learned how to give compliments. I do like that comic strip, though.

Hey, hey! Calm down! You need more excitement in your life if people on the internet typing about stuff excites you. you should strive to be more like this delightful chap you evidently share a computer with

who is much more reserved and merely suffers from advertisement tourette syndrome. I think you two might get along, though, since you both seem to write post script in the same foreign language.

Do you think this place is really selling mattresses for one dollar? Or maybe just that specific photograph of a mattress used on the sign is for sale? No no, I definitely see a mattress propped against the glass, there. So if it was for sale for a dollar, do you reckon it would be a mattress at all worth having? Anybody selling a mattress that cheap is one step removed from deliberately disposing of it. In fact, this is easier because YOU take it, and then it’s YOUR problem, and you even paid for the privilege. There’s probably a dead body stuffed inside it. My operative in the field, the famed botanist Vance May informs me this location once housed a most Primo Pizza. Your business is really in the proverbial dumpster if a joint that sells mattresses for one dollar, asterisk or otherwise is not only turning a better profit than you but this is enough so that it can force you out. This is the NEW Dollar Haven. There’s another one of these somewhere. They are branching out. Soon they will be everywhere. First our primo pizzas, next it will be our perfect parties and our feminine barns of dresses. What can we use to combat this mattress-marking down menace?

99 CENT POWER! Do you feel it? Do you feel it?!?!

This is so much power I’m not even going to risk getting the other senses involved. Requests to smell one’s power won’t likely get favorable results, I reckon. I prefer not to hear my power, also, because that generally means I’m almost out of hearts.

We can only ignore this problem for so long

yet I don’t want to have to stock up again so soon because I still have plenty of rubber spiders and confused computer ladies in undersized clothing left and I don’t get the discount unless I buy them all together. Dilemmas!

I thought you would sympathize with my cheapness!

Some mysterious person requested names of video games I stole pictures out of, and so this time they were Star Tropics and Corn Buster and you should play neither. I don’t know who the blue suit guy with the A on his mask is.

April 1, 2010
Better watch out for those man-eating jackrabbits and that killer cacti. Hey, dude.

You agree with me that 1 am is way too late for the idiots a block over from me to be blasting corny music all over the place, don’t you?






And now I am sad.


February 4, 2010
SO, do come visit us and “be a pART of ART” by experiencing “for the LOVE OF heARTS” on February 4th!!

My vision is fine, but my eyes hurt a lot.


My mother seemed excited to have tentatively “won” $200 by betting money on a super bowl calendar, but I wonder how much money she has paid in total to rent those squares in previous years. Probably not more than $20 a year, and I don’t think she has done this more than five times, which would mean a one-hundred dollar profit. Even so, I don’t think I would watch a four hour advertisement with occasional football breaks just because you MIGHT give me $100. I want a guarantee and a contract. I reckon clicking on one of those “congratulations, you’ve won a free i-phone*” internet ads is a more solid deal.

I did not say that to my mother.


I was recently complimented on the quality of my recent entries in comparison to some other ones I did, I guess. This is something I will not stand for.


Searching my note file for “Ringo,” I find this:

I never knew John Lennon (though I apparently just missed him at a few These Green Eyes shows), but I appreciated that I didn’t hear much about George Harrison when Paul and Ringo were out doing embarrassing things. Ringo’s new song is the music equivalent of Down East magazine. What’s he know about writing songs, anyhow? I realize he’s had forty years to figure it out but… I don’t think he has. I remember he had another album some years ago and the song was something like “All you’ve got to say is la dee da, la dee da,” and it was kind of stupid, and not even in a “to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it right” kind of way. Either way our vocabulary suffers so we may as well enjoy it.

Don’t bother. We’ll find you.

Ringo seen here with backup Ringo. He needs the other Ringo to be near the front when he tends to a drum emergency because beatnik Triple-H was attacked from behind with a steel stool (I swear that makes sense).
Searching my hard drive for “ringo” turned up the pertinent accompaniment, “ringo and backup ringo.jpg,” dated January of 2008, which the calendars tell me was two years ago and not of pertinence to the ad for his more recent schtick I started this with. I have no recollection of what the song being performed here actually sounds like, which is just swell with me.

Speaking of people that aren’t Ringo, I read that Paul McCartney got dead in the 1960s, and rather than tell people, three Beatles and a guy who looked and sounded exactly like Paul that I guess they just knew and got along with as well but that nobody else knew about, somehow, recorded an album with really idiotic, tenuous clues about Paul being dead. It’s too hard to call the police and release a statement. Let’s just spend a couple months making thirty songs alongside a clone that we raised in seclusion for just this purpose.

When I heard Beetuls fans were mad (angry) about a new advertisement, I assumed it was the one in which Paul McCartney hops through a cartoon avenue playing a banjo. Now that I have thought of this issue a year or two or three later I have forgotten which ad people were actually mad at, but I still remember the banjo hop.

Hopping in general is a bad sign.

Though I assume for Mr. McCartney it was also a dollar sign.

As for why I passed my opportunity to talk pre-emptive trash about A Downeast Smile-In, I was distracted by

1800s Oval-Frame Portrait: The Movie

More old beat-notes:
Guitar Hero 5! “9.5 out of 10 [success points]. This is the Guitar Hero to own,” says some source I didn’t bother wasting brain space with learning the identity of or the reasons why i should not trust its opinion on anything. Less than three weeks ago (three months ago) I was getting the same business about “Beatles Rock Band.” That’s the sort of statement that only starts getting lobbed around when the series is so over-saturated with redundant, indistinguishable entries in so short a period of time that no sane person could afford to own them all. I remember when Nintendo Power Magazine, the Fox News of my day, said something similar about Super Street Fighter 2, and then, it couldn’t have been more than a year later, the Power was running an article about Street Fighter Alpha, featuring all the same characters and all the same moves plus a few new ones. The goals and [lack of] story progression are exactly the same. Beat X number of guys one at a time in absurd yet predictable two dimensional combat. Nintendo Power didn’t MAKE the street fighting happen, but it also didn’t take the opportunity to say “don’t you see? Buying this only encourages them.” It’s disgusting and it never ends. It still hasn’t. Dumb twits will buy slight improvements for the price of a new product for eternity and then post whiny journals about how they’re out of money and I should pay them to draw for me, like they’re doing me a favor because they’re maniacal, decadent scoundrels. Even in a recession this is apparently the situation. True enough, Electronic Arts, who should have gone out of business back when they released Rolo to the Rescue, has sold approximately 1,037 times as many Sims 2 add-ons, but I don’t have tv ads, dorks on the internet and otherwise non-video game playing adults trying to seem hippy by gorking all up in my longitude every single fudgey time one of these gets made (these are the same adults who wouldn’t shut up about Avatar last month). There was even a Sims 3 produced and sold without me finding out. That is how it should be. I’d rather not be aware and I’m busy, besides. I only got around to finishing Star Tropics a week ago.

I shouldn’t have rushed! Yeah, ha ha, you guys. I remembered what the number on the letter was for nearly twenty years, too! All for you!

Like I could hide this in my pocket and walk out with it…?
I remember, growing around, how much my father liked them Beatles, and how I would always think “gosh I wish somebody would invent a way for me to pretend to sing and play along with these guys, preferably in the form of big cumbersome expensive pieces of plastic. I will not acknowledge that this group ever existed until that happens.”

As always, the ongoing popularity of the dot-field simulator is a mystery to me (as I like it best. I don’t have time to like it!). It’s like those awful old laserdisc games like Mad Dog McCree and Cliff Hanger that only require you to press a button at some point and the entire outcome depends on that, except instead of at some point getting to see the entire movie about guys with guns hiding behind stuff standing up and falling back behind stuff, you’re just rewarded with more dots, and not even the dippin’ kind. Or maybe it’s more like Legend of Dragoon, the depressing Final Fantasy ripoff whose sole gimmick was that your attacks wouldn’t work properly and you’d always lose unless you pressed an action key at certain intervals as your gang attacked foes. Toward the end your attacks would have up to eight steps in them, and I got pretty good at it, but I still remember the game as dull and mopey and without a whole lot to do beyond pressing a button while my guys were fighting. Making me tap along to the game’s mopey music rather than what was actually happening would not have made me like either any better. I’d sooner tap out to the challenge.

See, I’m so weak that I’m reusing old pictures of scoundrels whom I despise. Let that be a lesson to you!

November 8, 2009
My racist games will not only have some that are bloody and fun to play but I am also creating games for kids also.

Much like last month, I soon will go somewhere that I need to prepare for and am horrible at preparing for. As far as I know I have no such place to travel to next month, which means I will be very unprepared.

Evidently Stop & Shop has further to go on its journey to not be Brand X than I thought. This doesn’t even come with RIP.

I say, what a GYP. Gyp, incidentally, I was surprised to learn does not have its origin in racism or prejudice.

The council is still undecided on this Whac-a-mole stand artwork. I hesitate to type “whackkk-a-mole” because the official trademarked name does not include a K, but my hesitation was merely a moment to pause and reflect, and in this situation you may find that I went ahead and did the deed anyhow.

The Guaranteed Value squad I thought for certain would win the blandness war. It found a way to make carrots less exciting. Isn’t it kind of neat that they come from the GROUND, growing out of a tiny little SEED? It would be if it didn’t take months to happen. Yef, that’s right, I’m on to you, CARROTs. Somebody finally had the courage to stand up to root vegetables. I know you’re in this with the beets. Soon I shall send my champions to destroy your stronghold.

We really are in trouble, aren’t we.

I thought this entry was longer than this. Whoopth. Does anyone have suggestions for lengthening it?

Nobody? Goodnight, then.

June 29, 2009
Blast it! That blasted old man in the Tower of Najima! He stole a key from me, Bakor!

I have been busy, lately. The internet has been regularly dysfunctional. These are not good circumstances for keeping websites.


Am I better off with total whitening or total advanced whitening? How is it possible to advance beyond total? Does the advanced one make teeth translucent? Is it just more challenging? How can this goop hope to accomplish any whitening at all without

whitening oxygen bubbles? Clearly, they are essential. Ha ha, I pity any poor fool who bought normal advanced whitening without knowing oxygen bubbles had been invented. That person is doomed to a life of sub-caucasian bite bricks.
I actually tried this eventually, and you’ll be surprised to know that in actual usage it’s exactly the same as every other toothpaste I’ve ever used.

I might go so far as to declare that the finest regular I’ve ever tasted.

How are there so many different types of toothpaste, with so little information provided to help a person choose? Is it important which one I use? I did not think it was like with soda or salsa or saltlakrids, where it’s a trivial thing I don’t need, am actually better off without, and should choose entirely upon the whim of a moment. This is supposed to be a tool for cleaning a sensitive, integral series of body components. It’s a health issue, not a fashion conundrum. Yes, there are heaps of soaps, too, but they are competing soap brands offering similar products. This is one brand offering similar products. When you do see multitudes of soap under one label it tends to be about the various smells they give off. I try to avoid smelling people’s teeth.

This article’s author has encountered far more colgates than I, but doesn’t answer, nor ask the question of what’s actually in the interests of teeth themselves (it does, however, include a picture which clicking upon causes to appear a javascript window with a smaller version of the picture inside it). Do I want to prevent cavities or fight plaque? Why do we lack the technology to do both? Long ago it was my understanding that all toothpastes did all these things. Now, though, they’ve gone soft. Toothpaste? More like toothglue! Eh eh eh.

Which of these is actually the most beneficial is impossible to discern. Not just because your deteriorating vision has rendered the print a blurry, unintelligible mess, but because each paste type only includes the check boxes which would be checked. They are, in effect, mere bullet points, but this makes them seem like bonus features. Which reminds me…

With Webster Premier Banking you get 5000 bonus points. Do you have any idea what that means? That means you’ll be one fourth of the way toward getting your first extra life. What other bank can promise you something so matenopoulos?

See! Only Wachovia gives you a Way to Save. You don’t even need extra lives when your bank has exclusive access to the Imperial Scrolls of Honor. Truly a glamorous bonus.


No, Baramos Bomus! Nobody ever calls you! Get out of here! You are not needed at this time! Go away before your friends show up…


Wonderful. Now there’s some idiot purple monster skeleton here. Surely you can admit that’s kind of stupid.


Aren’t you glad I don’t update this site every two days anymore?

No way, man! This article is almost as awesome as purity rings and Family Friendly Flatulence inspired by a best selling book series!

This is the saddest day of my life.

March 3, 2009
Me and Cindereller put it all together

Wow, it seems like every three days I realize I haven’t updated this thing in three days these days.


I don’t remember why I wrote this.


Watchmen are OVER!
It is necessary for this line to be in the preview [of the film known as Watchmen], not because it’s just plain great writing, but any film which includes a breakup or disassociation of any sort must denote this in the preview. Who can forget “I’m Spiderman no longer!“? Not I! And I really thought he was done being Spiderman, too, just as certain as I always am that America’s most ubiquitous magazine adorners really won’t find comedic romance by the end after the tragic events of one-minute-thirty-seconds. Hang up those phones! Cry on those benches! Drive your car at night! Yell “wait!” at a person who will not wait! You’ve had it this time!

As with any preview, the faults of Watchmen’s rest largely with whoever made the preview, and it was not my intention to take in any of it. But as it is necessary for me to procure the interest of another person when I wish to see a film, I had to be aware enough to say “there! That’s what it is!”

It does, though, bring to attention that the characters depicted in the film are The Watchmen. When I went through the comicoid a year or so ago1, it became apparent that all the characters were intentionally avoiding referring to the gang as “the watchmen.” Like that wasn’t their name at all, and the story was only called “Watchmen,” not even with a “the,” because comics always sell better if they have “man” or “men” in their titles. Perhaps it was believed that this one was well done enough that when people realized it wasn’t a proper -Man story they wouldn’t mind. And maybe “Watchmen” was their name, but the writer was trying to make a point by not saying it, possibly with the intention of distancing his story from any further Man-related misconceptions. He’s kind of a weirdo. “Who watches the watchmen” appears in the backgrounds a lot, but it is never pointed out who, if anyone, that specifically refers to. Of course one assumes it refers to the heroes, but it could just as easily be crazy person graffiti that means nothing. I don’t have the right sort of intelligence to be offended over such a subtle change, but yes, verily, it was odd hearing the people be called “the watchmen.” This entry should be over but it isn’t.

1 Thankfully prior to my knowing a film was being made, but it is not integral to my story that you believe this

I do think a great opportunity was missed to have Late Show announcer Alan Kalter portray Walter the hobo,

Look! Another one!

but in the end that will not be what makes me come away from the film disappointed. A lot of these things I like or sort of like up until the end and then I get bothered because nothing ever happened to make me truly enjoy them. If something had, and just as likely if it hadn’t, an abrupt, vague, pessimistic, miserable ending made sure I left upset. There Will be Blood, Capote, Pan’s Labyrinth, Waking Life, The Wrestler, The Wrestler, The Wrestler, I don’t ever want to see any of them again. I’m sick of smart people recommending this joy poison to the world. I don’t have a lot left. Is there really no middle ground between cringely sappiness and losing faith in humanity? I found out after seeing the sickening “7 pounds” that it supposedly was “bad” but it didn’t seem to me all that much worse from some of the “good” movies getting every star from the same people. Evidently the misery factor transcends quality.

Soooo… at least Watchmen has some neat visual effects. Even if its flashback plot progression and character motives are as underexplained as Slumdog Millionaire’s, and I expect they are, I will already understand what’s supposed to be happening because books let you stay on a page until it makes sense. Therefore I will not be eternally backlogged mentally, trying to figure out what I missed while I was trying to figure out what just happened. What are those kids selling? Did they steal that stuff? How long is that train ride? Why is Salim so angry when he gets to be 1980s Michael Jackson?

Yes, Slumnaire Milliondog is also based on a book, but that wasn’t a comic book. I like me some pictures. To recap: I didn’t want you to get the impression that my ability to appreciate intellectually complicated works was under-developed so I told you I get held up by cartoons in little boxes.

I mentioned, on a previewous occasion, seeing a different watchmen preview. but that was back in July or thereabouts. At that point I was just mesmerized to see stuff, and figured that I knew the story anyhow so there wasn’t an issue of anything being “spoiled,” and I would still have half a year to forget anything important. At this, the week of its release, however, with televisual advertisements and actors floating about talking over the things (“my character is a member of the watchmen!”), I understand that the trouble is as great as ever, even if it’s not the story that gets spoiled. There are many things which can be spoiled. Like eggs. I realize the irony of talking about spoiling and then linking to a page from the thing that’s mostly words. Sure do.

Here is my ironic let-down ending.

February 24, 2009
He’ll fix your computer, then he’s gonna make fun of you!

I spend a massive amount of time making things which have no purpose. Some of them I don’t even put here.


Ohhhhhhhhhhh busybusybusy.


The Tonight Show W/ J. Leno, January 19 2009: Jimmy Fallon films his own head for “webisodes” despite multple stable professionally operated official NBC cameras already filming him better. It should be noted that he said “webisode” at least seven times so it is safe to assume he has reviewed the terminology and found nothing wrong with it.

You, world, never got me to say “podcast” or “blog,” I suspect webisode will meet a similar fate. Specifically: everyone else disregards my protests because my opinion actually has no bearing on anything.

Look, he has the preview thing open despite not being able to view it. Decadence!

Do we really need two annoying, internet video dependent desk show hosts who call themselves “Jimmy?” Can’t one be James or Seamus? At least the two Craigs agreed to work in shifts and only one insisted on “Craiggers.”
Do we also truly require more videos of just immobile heads in little boxes saying stuff at us? Is anybody really so entranced by mouths? I put up with that during my first half in King’s Quest V and Faxanadu, but shouldn’t we have made some progress since then? All we’ve succeeded in doing is making the heads larger and needlessly better animated. I’m weak of mouths.

Of course I wasn’t expecting to be “friends” with somebody named GPSHyphenFitness, but I get so few “friend” notices, even junkety ones, that I always look over their pages with the slightest, most naive hope that maybe this ambiguously named entity I’ve never heard of really does want to be me best pal. Perhaps, even if it is a robot, it is just as lost and confused as I am. And maybe I really did in fact know a bunch of Russian live-journal users and I just forgot about it. But anyway, whatever disappointment I deserve for my foolishness, it ought not to come in the form of this human fragment yelling at me about fitness the instant that section of the page finally shows up. If you want to sell me on fitness but really just don’t have the space to pan out, at least show me an arm or something. All this proves is that your clothing is starting to merge the frame.

If he doesn’t want me to see his Slim Goodbody suit, he should have worn something else.


Hey hey, somehow Jay Leno mentioned “you got married since the last time you were here,” sending Jimmy into a totally spontaneous rehearsed bit about the crazy characters you meet at weddings! Which required him to stand up and walk across the stage several times as different people his mimicry skills were inadequate to distinguish. When this was done Mr. Leno asked if Mr. Fallon intended to deliver a nightly monologue, and yes! Jimmy does! He also stood up again, to give an example, and got bonus applause for standing up, and then proceeded to say much the same sort of things as in his pre-plotted interview. Only while standing.

How does Fallon expect to stand out after two hours of talk shows on his own channel, nevermind with more and more viewers straying from nbc anyhow, when he’s still relying on the same phony setups in his own guest appearances? He also mentioned that he plans to have a personal band and I’m past the point where I wonder if he’ll have a desk. How long before he acquaints himself with Electric Lincoln?

Jimmmmmy has said on several occasions that the band is called “The Roots.” Like this matters (although it is a better name than Toby). I’ve seen bands on these shows and they all do the same stuff: noisily waste time with varying degrees of tolerability. Mr. Ferguson forgoes one (though probably only for budget reasons), and while it does deprive him of a consistent on-set target for abuse, I don’t see why this necessarily needs to be a musician beside a bunch of other musicians who don’t get to say anything. Regarding strictly music-related matters, disregarding its necessity, as a home viewer I can’t tell the difference between live music and the other kind. As an in-studio audience member, however, I preferred the pre-recorded music because it wasn’t as loud.

Jimmy again, with Conan O’Brien, standing again, reading off a little card again. This occurred the night I was in the audience. It’s hard enough to pay attention to the designated chat space when you can see the whole room, why did they have to bring out a guy I had written annoyed things about before I had posted them? How am I expected to appreciate the parts that went well when it is necessary for the waiting website entry’s completion that I maintain a contrary attitude until then? Do you even think? Jim only said “webisode” once, though, so maybe there is hope yet.

Regardless, prior to then I assembled this totally unnecessary, overbloated sega cd-looking animated gif of Jay Leno tossing water on Mr. Fallon. After about the thirtieth time I watched it I started to feel bad about talking trash about Fallon, even though the act only happened once and Jimmily poutily swiped the mug off the desk afterward, almost hitting somebody with it. But maybe if I find film of every person who sort of bothers me suffering misfortune and I watch it a lot I will become a less complaintive person overall.

Be aware, however, that the dope is not a “person.”

July 30, 2008
Winning the race for your digital flicks, living your life with a clickety click

I saw a Dr Pepper soda advertisement recently which I found alarming. No, not the one which was my first “dr pepper” search result, Zon Tayday confirming my suspicions that people have been giving him money to be further publicly made fun of despite his lack of everything. But I will complain at length about it anyway.

The “song” actually starts with lines about him being on the internet and getting money. Yeah, and for what? For being a ridiculous doofus incapable of giving any legitimate enrichment through his entertainment aspirations. The “song” is shorter and just slightly more non-horrible-soundy than the old, but only because people who Yad Yazton obviously learned nothing from have produced the heap out of it. And I’d hardly say this proves any fool can be picked off the street, placed in a controlled environment and made to seem like a competent artist to those with as much competence, because we already knew that. It’s always been that way. How is Yaya Tzond so different than an A. Idol winner/loser, then? Answer: he isn’t, and I’m sick of that.

They’ve got him goofed up on a throne surrounded by nameless ladies with dress priorities contrary to his own, a la a previous year’s public contract trainwreck, Flavor Flave, who has also done a Dr Pepper ad, albeit in a different form I will discuss with myself later. Oh, I will! But this, here, is a man whose biggest creative touch to his own, self-made music videos is using the annotation function to ad extra ads to fill in the temporary commercialism void.

The only reason to watch this silly person in front of a microphone for three minutes is to see those ads. Evidently that appeals to a great deal of people. Yoy Zandat is one of few recordy people whose brief, identical telephone-noises heard repeatedly throughout the day when combined accurately represent the experience of hearing the full song. But hopefully no one ever calls you. For their sake.

And if you’re wondering about “charity album” tagged on to the first clip, it’s just 16 yet dopier remixes of the original dopey song far too many people have heard before. The provided video has (very loud) sniplets of them all, all with the initial vocals incorporated and beeptrack represented in some way, with Mr. Yellowroom himself at both ends telling you about all his websites.

Yes, Babastank exists and is involved, and Of COURSE that’s a myspace link at the right, hovering above print I’m used to seeing in email I delete.

The actual charity aspect expired 30 days after the video was posted and was for eh half the, one assumes, scant proceeds to go toward the Electronic Frontier Foundation, which while apparently a decent cause is nothing that makes me feel heelish about complaining about supporters of for unrelated reasons (longtime unaware nemesis Robin Williams has a couple of those). Charity is supposed to be about helping others, and as a puzzlewit who but for the internet’s tendency to enshrine things nobody likes –if he had been a better musician, we still wouldn’t know about him–, the preservation of electronic anything seems more than a bit in Oyz Nadyat’s own best interest. If you believe EFF is worth giving your money to, I suggest you give money to it, and not risk encouraging Zat Donyay to do anything that involves the continued presence of his profile statement of his lack of piano and voice training. If he wants to be a clown that’s fine, but I don’t think he thinks he is a clown.

If Yatz Yonad made an attempt to assure me that the other half went to the team of remixers and not his own five second keyboard loop making grasp-digits… I’d still dislike it because all they’ve done is apply annoying noisy filters over something that was already unlistenable. Any good accomplished by donating half your sales to a charity is undone by distributing hard prints of an album that’s 48+ minutes of Chocolate Rain. There are people with actual digital audio composition/manipulation talent on the internet, and you’re generally not going to find them on a video site. A site where the most prolific and appreciated musicians sequence popular tunes for Mario Paint, an underpowered novelty tool, at best, 15 years ago,
that someone has made a special tool to encourage the online ubiquity of.


And you win again, internet. Would you believe it’s not long enough? FIVE STARS ANYWAY.

I was dead before you got here.

In summary: I need much better people to be jealous of.

April 22, 2008
Old news. Some super-dupers sprung that blot-face guy

My brain is constipated.


Consumer Alert:


Rorschach wants your eggs.

I’m glad I never had a way to obtain normal comic books on a regular basis during the years one typically goes through a phase like that. I’d have hated to have found out I was a comic book nerd, and I doubt I could have afforded it, besides. Still, if I had a bunch of those they’d be more likely to get themselves re-read than the collection I accumulated over what appears to be a considerable period in which I regularly purchased Weekly World News. If you’ve seen one final warning from Billy Graham, you’ve seen them all. Most people associate the Weekly World News with Bat-Boy if they associate it with anything, but when I was buying it there was a red hot Lost Dead Sea Scroll craze going on.

It (becoming/understanding I was a nerd) probably wouldn’t have happened anyway and I’d have been turned off them and ended up much as I was (just down some dollars), because as I saw from my uncle’s collection, most of them were made to fill a quota and just weren’t good and they never stopped coming. I’m content for now to let some other slob read them and decide which ones from decades ago are worth distributing illegally buying somewhere or something. Although even that can get suspect results. I can’t tell if Robert Crumb’s popularity is a joke on me or a joke on him. I will abort this topic before I do something resembling what I did last time. Fash that was horrible. Even for me that was bad. It’s like I took that thing terrible I wrote about Mad-TV and took it to a ho’ nubba levuh.

ARRRRRRGH!! It was all a plot by Danny Devito to get mentioned on my stupid website again!

April 15, 2008
people thought it was HARE BRAINED predicting $800 gold


Consumer Alert:


Bat-Man wants your eggs.

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

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June 6, 2019
pindohodo sez:
“A box of only marshmallows” sounds gross! As soon the milk hits them they turn into...
June 2, 2019
Purplespace sez:
I always thought Lucky the leprechaunish creature was odd in that he seemed to want people to...
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    This never happened

    old webpages
    Mall Meh...ness
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    irrational complaining about my television set
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    I hate shoes.
    something award related
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    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
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    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
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    Embarrassing pictures 1
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    The same
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    Poetry Page
    The same