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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
August 2, 2017
stay out of my way and don’t be so gay, we’re coming to defile revile you

8-10 230am howdy. i have a comic page -almost- done but i hurt my back and am presently using that as an excuse for not having it ready on 8-9 even though I did not actually create this problem until around 1 am, unless we pretend that I live in alaska. And if pretending I live in alaska gives me less anxiety about going to bed before finishing a job for the sake of my health, why do I still feel compelled to announce this?
————————


this ad is making several key misconceptions about my mental state. first of all, that if I have specific favorite misheard lyrics, there are enough of them that I classify them by topic type, and that there enough in the food category alone that I can choose 8 standouts without exhausting my supply, and that a marketing company knows which ones those are. and then also that I would like to watch sock puppets — at all, but especially to act out misheard food lyrics, when whoever designed the advertisement isn’t even that into it, choosing instead to fixate on the graphical possibilities of the number 8.

which reminds me:


gosh FINALLY. Dial For Men. No, not a 1970s gay porn film, but Dial SOAP to be USED by men. For the first time in history, it’s gonna start raining men may bathe themselves.

For comparison, here is what regular, apparently woman-only dial looks like.
beets since when is SOAP not masculine enough? Is this marketing reacting to a demand, or trying to make men self-conscious about not having a manly enough soap?


gosh even the number 8 needs to be harder and manner. How long before Dial for MEN invades regular Dial’s territory citing an ancestral claim to the power berries?

I am not surprised at all that there are more transvestites than ever. The harder you push this “gender must permeate every object you own” agenda, the more people like me will turn away from it. And the more normal men will become insane and convinced there is a “war on men” just because the world is less unilaterally made for them. And then push more products like this, and they will keep getting oafier. With that said, I won’t feel inclined to buy Zest Tranny Clean soap once that starts showing up, because it would have the same message: you are defined by the non-personality-related products you buy. The companies who make these aren’t giving you anything. They are looking for sneaky ways to get money out of you in perpetuity, and to shut out their competitors who don’t yet offer man-only soap

It is true that there are hard biological differences between women and men, and perhaps different soaps are in order, although I always understood that was what dodderant was for, and I already do not feel comfortable buying that unless I am unaccompanied and in a store which allows self-service scanning. Already every product marketed at children has a gender-coded character or object on the package, which increasingly is impossible to avoid unless you buy off-brand stuff that status-conscious kids will still pick on you for owning, but at least adults are still free to have neutrally aligned noodles out of a can. Maybe some day there will be his and hers water and oxygen and there will be an indicator on your forehead if you try to use the wrong one without asking the government’s permission first.


I was in Washington DC this year during what apparently was “Capital Pride Weekend.” Outside of New York City, I cannot think of any place with less of a pride deficiency. Specifically it means non-caucasian non-heterosexual non-male pride, but it uses the gay pride colors, but we can’t say gay pride because that offends trans people who think they aren’t gay and you still can’t change your race because that’s racist and even if you’re trans everybody knows you are trans and still identifies you with what you were born as and on and on and we pretend this isn’t fascism garishly disguised as freedom. Anyway people who formerly were not comfortable are supposed to be proud of themselves, even though chief executive also in that capital doesn’t actually believe in this. And the ones who run Connecticut sure do not, either, lest we incite the gods to send a cursed storm of blood over our crops.

You get a F or an M that is assigned to you and you cannot have the other unless you pay thousands of dollars to have your body destroyed, and you DEFINITELY cannot have neither. This is absolutely crucial to you being able to drive a car or buy liquor (requiring the same card for both was a great idea). And apparently now to washing yourself too. Maybe someday people will be proud of themselves just for taking a shower. Like a small child would be, and perhaps then they will share their princess/truck-branded soup with the rest of us.
They will take pity on us knowing we came from a culture which temporarily thought this was acceptable. This conclusion makes no sense but I like that it tied together. Therefore I win.

Or somebody other than the custodian does.



January 14, 2010
You can nearly always find someone to punish if you try hard enough

Yes, I actually did it. I screwed your brains out I bought the 30 ounce JAR of Utz snack mix. I know it says “party” mix, but I don’t go to parties, and when I do there’s never stuff like this there. This is what I stay home and eat while other people have parties. This is my meth. That may not even be so far from the truth; Judging by the way it is sealed, this stuff is apparently prescription strength. Although the side label professes the presence of 30 servings, one per ounce, I reckon I can have this finished in under a week. Hopefully I won’t have to. I will give it my list of demands in short time.

Officially, it is a “barrel,” but anybody who’s played enough video games knows that barrels often contain life sustaining, fully cooked, nonrotting foodstuffs (occasionally on plates), and while edible, what I have is not quite food. Beside that, suggesting that I can eat the entire contents of a BARREL makes me seem like a fat glutton. My metabolism is too fast for that. I am a moderately skinny glutton. I have a physical appearance accurately described as “salvageable.” Come back when I’m thirty [years old]… If I’m still there, eating utz party mix alone, stop me.

Donkey Kong would not throw Utz Party Mix at Mario. Monkey Donkey would not… no, actually we could be on to something. It is a shame that the only web page documenting this phemonemonemon is over ten years old. Clearly it is a relevant, pressing, depressing issue.


Look at that, just while I was here talking to you. I would weigh the remnants, but my scale is broken. No, not because I stood on it, narf narf. I was merely incidentally mentioning that I own a scale which does not function. Why don’t I throw it away? Why don’t you throw it away? Am I on trial here? Fleeps, lemmelone!

This jarrel, though very orange inside, does not contain cheeseballs. Tell us about the cheeseballs, Utzy.


I reckon you’ll pay more attention to the weather once acid rain starts pouring out of those bright orange clouds.


Those are not the famous Planters Cheez Balls… I know Planters’ are famous because one person uploaded this picture to the flickr and google images turned up the exact same picture of the same obsolete package design with the same sickly, faded colors and the same dented paper on numerous sites that had ripped it off, sometimes with site logos and bonus jpeg artifacts, most not bothering to have searched the “all sizes” link and just went with the 280×500 pixel preview. Somebody had even re-uploaded the smaller one to a different flickr page (to make it even flickier). To distinguish my own ripoff from the others I will put it through a really stupid series of filters that I have never once used seriously in a decade of owning Paint Shop Pro 6.


The only way to make this classier would be to scroll the text.

But that is not important. What is important, to me, about Cheez Balls, is that they have Mr. Peanut pictured on the cans. MR. PEANUT CONTAINS NO CHEESE. Neither do cheez balls, but MR. PEANUT ALSO CONTAINS NO CHEEZ. Mr. Peanut is not qualified to act as spokesman for any cheez product, balls or otherwise.


I could make a childish remark about how the most common cheez incarnations are the ball and the doodle, but I wouldn’t be able to commit to it and would present it as a shameful yet courageously suppressed inclination and pretend it was your fault instead. You should work on that.

Cheez is also frequently seen in the form of the -it, about which the less said, the usual.

According to legend, the planters phased out Cheez Balls because they didn’t sell anymore they were unhealthy. You don’t get into the snack business is to sell people cheap to manufacture trash which they don’t need to be eating. Because you’re a nitwit with no head for business matters. But I tell you, there are worse things in this world than cheez.

I give you chiz. And you’re welcome.

In other news, Humpy Dumpy. NEW Humpy Dumpy. Don’t worry, it’s only margarine FLAVOR. This merely creates the impression of having dipped a corn chip directly into a goopy vat of generic butter substitute. Because who has the time these days?

Some people, as in: more than one, talking about cheez balls on the internet, say the balls were discontinued in 2006. Suddenly! A page from 2008 documents a person finding them in a store! Great piggly wiggly! But, you know, they’re CANNED. And the cans are sealed. Those things are probably from 1998. There’s a reason people fill their bomb shelters with cans apart from being lunatics. Even if the balls are NOT fresh you’ll never know because those things will make you sick under any circumstances. Not that one needs the help with this visual accompaniment. I can tell you that if there IS a nuclear war… and the only things in your shelter are cheez balls… then you probably caused the war by hoarding them! I can’t believe you sometimes!



December 21, 2009
Danger on the track… something told me there were strangers on my back


I am not sure what is going on here. It may be a while before I do.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

I have so many messages to write to people, but all I want to do is make love to you. I mean… something else, right? At any rate, whatever it is isn’t productive.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

People who get gifts love to type out detailed descriptions of their gifts. The very idea strikes me as being very tiring. Almost as tiring as it is to read such lists. At least the junk I put here I don’t realize is tiring until I’ve already invested too much into it to not finish it.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000


Why should I be impressed by any “future” that still includes manually adjusted neck ties? Where are the giant robot helmets and gauntlets? Where are the silver wetsuits as normal clothing? How about magnetic boots that magically hold your body completely steady and horizontal when you walk up a wall? The only astounding thing on display here is an electric crane that holds what appears to be a chalkboard eraser. Next they should invent a computer that automatically replaces the paper in my typewriter. Or just holds the paper up so that I can grab it and replace it myself. What? You’re kidding!

Well. And as for Conan

he has to be Archie AND Ozark Ike, so I can excuse one dopey endorsement deal.

ONE I said. Yeep. You were off television, for what, three months? Conan, sometimes you just need to take a break.


Like, whatever, man. Why’s Conan talking to THIS rube ovah heeyah?



Wuh whoa! I just realized I’M on tv, too! Woooooo yeah! I got my fake-retro prefaded Ghostbusters shirt and my RED SWEATPANTS on camera! Muh- muh- muh- METAL! Ninja surviiiiiiiiiive!

Eh. I suppose that’s better than KILLING me…


You know what, I hate ninjas.

Ninjas have gone soft. I remember when being a ninja MEANT somehing. A long time ago, in the glory days of ninja. Specifically, the 1980s. When to stop the shadowy killing machine of the east took nothing less than a…

AHHHH, BIRDS! BIRDS! GET THEM AWAY FROM ME! ABBBBBAAAAAAA!!!




November 8, 2009
My racist games will not only have some that are bloody and fun to play but I am also creating games for kids also.

Much like last month, I soon will go somewhere that I need to prepare for and am horrible at preparing for. As far as I know I have no such place to travel to next month, which means I will be very unprepared.



Evidently Stop & Shop has further to go on its journey to not be Brand X than I thought. This doesn’t even come with RIP.

I say, what a GYP. Gyp, incidentally, I was surprised to learn does not have its origin in racism or prejudice.

The council is still undecided on this Whac-a-mole stand artwork. I hesitate to type “whackkk-a-mole” because the official trademarked name does not include a K, but my hesitation was merely a moment to pause and reflect, and in this situation you may find that I went ahead and did the deed anyhow.




The Guaranteed Value squad I thought for certain would win the blandness war. It found a way to make carrots less exciting. Isn’t it kind of neat that they come from the GROUND, growing out of a tiny little SEED? It would be if it didn’t take months to happen. Yef, that’s right, I’m on to you, CARROTs. Somebody finally had the courage to stand up to root vegetables. I know you’re in this with the beets. Soon I shall send my champions to destroy your stronghold.


We really are in trouble, aren’t we.

I thought this entry was longer than this. Whoopth. Does anyone have suggestions for lengthening it?

Nobody? Goodnight, then.



June 9, 2009
Love’s what I got, don’t start a ry-yot


Pretzel companies love to brag about their great traditions on the back of their packages; often citing the dedication with which their founder hand twisted them and such. That would be relevant if you were trying to sell me a bag of hand-twisted, slow baked, 1900s style pretzels. What I have is a sack of tiny, cold, factory-mold prefabricated thingies flavored only by salt, designed to be eaten fifty at a time. The only tradition in the game here is my own tradition of gluttony. Even when I do see a big pretzel, it is still most likely a thing from a machine that has not earned the right to be shaped like an ampersand. I would settle for a circle if that meant you’d charge me less than five dollars for it.

What’s more wholesome than a big jar of salt? How about one that had been spilled and gathered up prior to usage? I would not trust desert-dwelling men without hats to handle these ingredients. Only to dance safely, and only if they want to.

Pretzels just think they’re better than every other snack, even though about a third of the way through the bag I always want to die. With popcorn, chex mix, p’tater chips, chocolate bars, and all the rest, I never want to die until after I’ve already eaten it all. Which means pretzels last longer, and I get sick more times on a single purchase. Very efficient. Something to keep in mind in a slow economy. So I suppose they are better. But they don’t need to get attitude about it.

Coca Cola is even older than a lot of pretzel brands and there’s no proud boasting printed on containers of that. Because it’s just dumb soda (and because it was originally sold as medicinal wine made with cocaine by a morphine addict with no business sense who suffered from Henniganism).


You don’t pick up a bag of cheetos (I hope) and see on the back something like

The grand Cheetos® brand tradition dates back to 187X when our proud, humble founder Cheslinski Chitowski travelled from Bolshevik Mexico to the United States to fulfill his dream of opening his very own Cheeto stand in Michigan, where he used the old world cheeto method of hand mixing yellow 06 and monoglopxide mccarbonuke to make the original orange dust which he lovingly hand sprinkled over every individual hand misshapen cheeto skeleton. He declared his creation Chitowski’s Astonishing Curd Flavored Corn Wellness Supplement and sold them out of his humble horse drawn van. This dedication to craft, quality, and orange led Chitowski to coin the term “cheetostitude,” the feeling of joy and gradual loss of fine motor skills one gets eating properly prepared cheetos. By the 1930s cheetostitude had become nothing less than a national identity and is credited with ending the great depression, abolishing silent film and bringing Superman from Krypton. An outsider in his time, Chitowski never lived to profit from his work, and went to his death believing it was not easy being cheesy. And yet his message of peace, hard work and safe, reserved quantities of cheesiness lives on to this day in the Dangerously Cheesy modern Cheetos® brand Cheese and Bacon Balls snacks product.

Nobody would take it seriously. THIS is what is printed on the back of a bag of cheetos:


and I forgot what my point was. If there’s anything that’s dangerously cheesy it’s the people writing the labels.



February 13, 2009
New direction for Midnight Pumpkin Trucks

The sudden twitching of my right-side, more efficient eye’s lid, and subsequent revelation that the only treatment is surgically removing muscles from it or killing them with botox are things I find incredibly worrisome. Yet thinking about it makes me laugh uncontrollably. The fact that a recommendation to get more sleep is the primary alternative, when I already sleep too much to be accused of having responsibilities makes it more “hilarious.” This is unrelated to me not updating the website.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Do not take love advice from Pepe Lepew. Or anyone who spells out their accent.

Oh those banner ad people. They never know what they’re talking about. Why do I let them upset me so? It’s certainly not as if this is an official “canonical” work of the Wib animation department meant to be regarded alongside masterworks of plausible wackiness such as Space Jam and Looney Tunes Back in Action. This was just made in three minutes by whatever poor schmuck was assigned the task.


Yes, yes. This is what I need.


Even better. I love it. You took some cartoon character from the 1930s who has to live in a dumpster due to its abhorrent stench and gave it a big fancy apartment and a tacky modern telephone to send text messages to another character who hates him but now not only doesn’t but in fact has gone so far as to intentionally set off his white paint fetish. (I didn’t get a picture of that. I can tell you’re disappointed.)

Here are the reasons Pepo Lepo was supposedly funny: everybody in the world was afraid of him. The cat was particularly afraid of him. He was too dumb and confident to notice.

Perhaps you are of the opinion that in these days of increased awareness of and sensitivity to jokes about both cultural differences and sexual predators, it’s not really “funny” to have a bad smelling Frenchman chasing around and forcibly fondling a non-consenting female, is it. Even though they’re cartoon animals (which scarcely resemble their real life counterparts. A white-faced skunk? Seriously?). However, if you take that away, all that’s left is another smug squinting supersleaze sending trite messages through a telephone to a vapid swooning ditz-deluxe and we have plenty of those already. We certainly don’t need to be reaching back 70 years to find a suitable couple only to utterly disregard the primary reasons they were interesting. Even our most distinguished masturbatory webcomic authors know there’s nothing funny about pairing those two, as we now have them, with each other. If you want to have demographic appeal, Pepe has to live in an apartment with three lovesick cats and totally ignore them.


Even if we get past all that, still remains the underlying message that the most romantic thing you can possibly do at valentime is to type sentence fragments at the object of your affection. I may be a eunuch but even if I can see that’s not an act that proves anyone’s devotion to anything other than the stupid phone itself. At least… it might if you have fat, round inadequately numerous cartoon fingers, but it is my understanding that the target consumer typically does not.
They have the right number of fat fingers, anyway.


Wow, matching mail in rebates? We really are soul mates!

Worst of all, as former MCI pitch-creatures the merry melodists’ loyalties should rightly lie with The Other Telephone Company, Verizon. Who is Michael Jordan going to call on his yellow cartoon phone now? It’s one thing to toss their character traits in a trash compactor, but how can I respect fictional animals who are bought so easily? I cannot tolerate such an attack on our most sacred American institution, the corporate sponsorship.

True enough, Peppy did not appear in the MCI ads, and it seems reasonable to assume factions may develop among the various characters, but if mortal enemies Tweetypie and Sylvesterpie can both agree that 5 Cent Sundays is the bee’s knees, surely another cat and a skunk that can’t tell a cat from a skunk shouldn’t be too hard to sell on it. Yes, yes, 10 years have elapsed, and 5 Cent Sundays is an utterly obsolete calling plan, plus probably not that good to have begun with, but these aren’t characters who are renowned for their ability to review circumstances and change their foolish, antisocial behaviors accordingly.

Or are they? Maybe I should be glad that for once it’s not an old tiresome gag being rehashed. That one’s relationship with another has improved. Maybe things really are changing, and for the better. Why, just last week I went to a McDonald’s with a relatively nice bathroom.


They even varied the fake marble texture on alternating tiles. Things might just be looking up.


Still, for the time being I prefer to remain as far below them as possible.



July 1, 2008
Thanks to Rid-X Plus there’s no more need to have strangers come in to your home and spray poisons around your children!

Another page of this, eventually, (or immediately) a bit dull, a bit redundant. I wanted to squeeze some more panels in there, but I know better than that by now. It’s good that I know better than something by now.



December 29, 2007
Some will die in hot pursuit while sifting through my ashes

It’s hardly a “holiday tradition,” only going back to 2005, but I do like to watch the 1946 film It’s a Wonderful Life roundabout the time when Christmas occurs. I did so recently, and I just thought I’d share with you a few of my favorite scenes and persons.



George Bailey, what a guy. He just wants to help people. You want the moon? He’ll give it to you. But I must inform you that the moon is deceptively large and it’s unlikely you could find any place big enough to store it.



George put his own personal ambitions indefinitely on hold to save the family business, the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Building and Loan, and all the Bedford Falls citizens who depend upon it. Also present are George’s coworkers, loanmeister Sonny Chips and gardener Chief Tinko.


Ever selfless, he gave his own college money to his brother, Harold Barnabas Bailey, who is here just returning from several years at Meeplethorpe University, with a surprise companion: his new wife Bobo Rabadule.




Mary Escape Hatch irons the new wallpaper to impress George, the love of her life, and who can blame her?

Seemingly invetibly the two do become married, grow several children and enjoy many a Christastic Christmas together.


George makes a last minute Christmas-eve run to 711 in the hopes of GOOD GUMPITO GET THOSE STUPID FAT ORANGE RADIOACTIVE TRAMPS OFF MY SCREEN ALREADY!

It’s hard enough watching a sincere yet not terribly hokey movie with modern, obnoxious ads in wherever they want to be, but do they have to be on during the movie itself? In color? Ironically, or perhaps not, that first picture occurs at a part of the movie which has no motion in it. Is that why? NBC doesn’t want me to think my set’s bust? On the blink? This is probably the oldest movie that gets shown on broadcast television. I think it could be treated better than a first run episode of Frank TV that didn’t have much going for it anyway.


Is that what you want? To be compared to something on TBS? The network whose name I cannot speak without giggling?


And this? Rainbow NBC logo? Wearing a hat? Tacky tacky tacky.

There’s a reason I don’t watch movies on the t v, and this isn’t even it. I don’t like the commercial breaks and especially that whole edited for time and content business. However, since this was made in 1946 and was granted a very generous, I thought, three hour timeslot, I didn’t expect too much to be missing. No, NBC would have to find some other way to make me hate it. Do these two events share the same audience? If I was such a big fan of that biggest loser that I forgot I wrote a web page two years ago about how much I hate it, how could I miss this bit of promotion the first six times it happened? If my eyes are that bad I wouldn’t watch a low contrast monochrome movie on a standard sized television set. And if I did I wouldn’t appreciate bright clashing neon Fruit by the Foot rolling across the screen all the time.

Ehhh, if I was in such a state that I spent my federal holidays watching the opening rounds of elimination shows 97% of whose conflicts, dilemmas, whineries and dumbfoundingly complicated gimmicks regarding simple acts will be irrelevant even within the show’s own irrelevant context in less than a month, I’d jump off a bridge myself. “What do you MEAN the significant lead I built up last week doesn’t carry over into this one?! What do you MEAN you’re merging the teams?! What do you MEAN only one of us can win?!” I’m going to the bathroom, now. When I come back this post had better be finished.



November 4, 2007
Kibbles and Bits Bac’n Cheez, tastes so good I’m weak in the knees!

Did you know “I have a bad feeling about this” is a star wars reference? I didn’t. I don’t think most people who say it do. Not until maybe last year did I find out when I read it online, and then I forgot it until today when I read it again. And I’ve seen all the Star Warses! I contrast this with “I love it when a plan comes together,” which I know is from The *A* Team without having ever watched the A-Team or wanted to. I know that “kneel before Zod” and any remarks regarding a “son of Jor-El” are Superman references even though I’ve read less than 5 Superman comics my entire life and they weren’t about anything. So yes, I know a few things about distinct, unusual phrases which people quote for no reason.

Nerf herders and fuzzballs which laugh it up are Star Warsy. Bad feelings are not. Nerf fuzzballs are also not. I wish they were, though. The galaxy would be a much more peaceful place, then. One rarely experiences bad feelings when struck by the orange projectiles. In the situation of decimating, vaporizing destruction caused by photon torpedoes, death-stars and the like, it may well be nerf or nuthin’ [but scattered invisible atoms which I have no use for].


I don’t think bad feelings really are Star Wars references. The legend goes that every star wars movie contains that line at least once. But a lot of movies contain that line at least once. I don’t know if it was totally unheard of before 1977, but I do know that by 1994 it was absolutely generic, and so a nameless character saying it in a situation which there is good reason to have bad feelings about is unremarkable. I hardly think mentioning every time this is mentioned every time is not stupid. However, I wouldn’t dare attempt to amend a wiki page about Final Fantasy threevi or Star Wars. I can hardly handle the scrutiny, doubting and abuse when I edit pages that I keep to myself. I have a bad feeling about telling people to stop reporting on others’ reports of bad feelings.

I’ll grant that “I have a bad feeling” is a stupid, awkward, hackneyed thing to write into a script, but stupid hackney enthusiasts rarely realize they are that, tending to be somewhat stupid and hackneyed themselves. Saying “oh, well, I copied it from Star Wars” amounts to less than a valid excuse.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: August 18, 2017
Charmlatan sez:
I only pay into Cyclope’s pledge for their exclusive Pr├ęgoo drawings!
August 18, 2017
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Crying in a bad way? Based on what? Because of my actions or my summarization of others’...
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Anonymous sez:
this is the first time this website made me cry instead of laugh. once in a while there was a...
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I am merely not declaring it impossible, since I have very little taste for it and do not seek...
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Indighost sez:
That sounds like you’re hinting at some rare fan works that you think is good! I’d...
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    02-22-2007
    Cartoons
    12-10-2006
    Ludicrous
    07-01-2006
    I do not approve.
    06-04-2006
    irrational complaining about my television set
    04-24-2006
    Dennises are dead to me
    04-17-2006
    web-tv
    04-08-2006
    This page is not about shoes.
    03-22-2006
    I hate shoes.
    03-11-2006
    something award related
    03-04-2006
    Bahrg.
    02-26-2006
    Those Green Eyes again
    01-28-2006
    More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
    01-15-2006
    MeSpace
    11-EH-2005
    Biggest Loser
    10-EH-2005
    Mall Blandness
    07-20-2005
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    01/05/05
    Belindi
    11/03/04
    Mall Egadness
    09/22/04
    Las Vegas
    07/30/04
    Spiderman 2
    07/20/04
    Jope and Dopes
    06/27/04
    These Green Eyes
    04/24/04
    Friday
    04/01/04
    Wedding
    03/07/04
    Game Over
    03/02/04
    McDenny's
    01/09/04
    Mall orneryness
    01/06/04
    Movies I'm not going to see
    11/14/03
    Back fashion school to
    09/14/03
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    06/14/03
    JList
    06/03/03
    France
    03/31/03
    Official pizza of Nascar
    03/16/03
    Browsers
    02/23/03
    Michael Jackson
    2/16/03
    Free Speech
    02/05/03
    Thursday
    01/23/03
    Doofs
    01-whenever-03
    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same