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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
April 25, 2017
From what I observe, he’ll eventually die at the hands of a common man.

An attempt to quickly make a scene out of four unrelated creature sketches that happened to be near each other in my drawing book. In the past I have only used two. Perhaps I will try three sometime. I have hundreds of these tiny little idiots.
And it did not work very well, which is why i waited over a month to put it here. Usually I only make “artwork only” posts when I have been too busy to finish anything else for this site by my imaginary weekly deadline (which I have missed by several hours the past three occasions). This looks like one of those corny publicity shots Nintendo put out when hyping the early development on the N64, where there would be a cardboard-cutout looking picture of Mario or Rare ltd retconned computer generated Donkey Kong in a corny but fancily-lit 3d environment. But I only drew it in a hurry on that day to meet an imaginary deadline on another website. A surprising amount of my obligations are imaginary! But this week they are real (albeit not to anybody paying me money), so here is one more rushed site post. Perhaps that is just the way it will be from now on! Perhaps I have finally reached the point where life is just plain too complicated to do anything personally meaningful except at the expense of having any place in the world. I had my time, and did not spend it efficiently. In fact I took more than I was entitled to, and I did not win.

Perhaps I draw losers like this because they remind me I could do so much worse!

January 14, 2017
it’s time to clear the air when it comes to live dopplers in connecticut

an attempt to practice at a different art software, Clip Studio, which I acquired for a stupid reason and feel obligated to make use of. I could finish this drawing. Yes I absolutely could!

I still had to open up ye olde paint shopped proe 6 and use the mouse to clear up that which is there. I thought I had the PSP cd but I apparently only have Kid Pix, my original impossible to draw in except zoomed in really close since consumer art tablets did not exist back in 1994 software. I initially used it at the understaffed daycare for dumb kids that legally counted as “school” which I attended and then made my mother buy it for me after I got a home computer but eventually I had to concede that windows 3.1’s built-in and free pbrush.exe had more practical features with which to draw poorly using a mouse.
And I must say I have never gone through the hassle I did replacing my broken art tablets the past two years to get a replacement for my stupid old mouse, even if it is apparently highly controversial to sell me one without a keyboard.
For rather a few years I was curious about the likes of adope photoglop but never had a machine strong enough to run it well until 2009 or thereabouts. By the time I was decent at it, everybody I knew was trying to convince me I should use Sai or Manga Studio or flippindippin Gimp. I would ignore them at first but eventually see other people’s great results and think I was missing my chance to to do better, and then do far far worse trying. I may have to accept that I was correct all along in rejecting higher functioning software; I can only draw dumb stuff with dumb stuff!

September 16, 2016
That’s when it dawned on Barbara: they had been hit by the west-end patio umbrella bandit

Apparently we have to re-live the Jonbenet Ramsey story now. Last year we did the OJ Simpson story again. I suppose next year it will be Princess Diana and Monica Lewinsky again, then Macarena, whatever mass media tragedy is next in line to have a twentieth anniversary. Believe it or don’t, every one of them WILL at some point. And nobody the whole while will question why this is necessary or acknowledge that we just did this the year before. Can we get these stupid 1990s remakes out of our systems now? Toss in Y2K, Verne Troyer, Jar Jar Binx, whatever you have to do. You already had your chance to try and convince me I cared. I don’t want to be reliving Jay Leno monologue jokes for the next twenty years while simultaneously being expected to give a pumpkin about the latest sass-loaded personality-free multimillionaire who isn’t old enough to remember any of those things.

Additionally, yes, I know this television machine’s aspect ratio is horribly off. I was not in this house while its original control device still lived and don’t know what atrocities were inadvertently committed with it. My feeling is the less of its contents I can see, the better. A pity we can’t cut off 10%-100% of all the audio also.

The next thing I post here will be intended to be less depressing than this!

Especially if it comes at the expense of a fictional large-snouted-being’s depressing incidents.

February 16, 2015
They are partners, and sometimes spouses or lovers, of the various versions of Hawkman

page 6 of this

My fake inking is getting better. My speed is not. And still nothing exciting is happening. But I think as long as I can laugh at the comic it has a reason to exist. It is unfortunate that today’s issue is so serious! For example, That lizard thinks people are impressed by it! it thinks it can tell people what to do! Know this: whatever it demands, I refuse!
And nemitz thinks it can tell elpse what to do! Why are the most punchable characters the most proud and bossy? I am tired of nemitz acting humble, such as standing calmly with its mitts clasped behind its back. Nemitz invented hubris!
The only good thing i can say about the lizard is that it usually fixates on elpse and ignores nemitz. If only we all had such power!

On some hypothetical day when I am famous somebody will analyze all the comic’s dialog and try to figure out why nemitz is saying “eestgranby” here. There is a town in connecticut called East Granby. I have never been there, but I have seen it on maps and heard it mentioned on news reports. I just think it is a stupid-sounding name for a town and nemitz looked like it was saying something stupid here. i scripted it to say “offenbach” but of course nemitz never reads the script. And usually it attempts to disguise real-ish words or names if it is saying one, but here it just changed one letter. I am getting tired of nemitz’s laziness. Note that I differentiate between tired and lazy. Nemitz COULD do better, mit merely chooses not to.

January 4, 2015
For Dean and his pals, if you were a big name, you were fair game

Page 5 of part 3 of this.

This sometimes seems like a series of related vaudeville routines more than a story. This was initially a more antagonistic exchange, and although elpse’s recusement on the previous page was meant to show that elpse anticipates one just like those the antagonistic exchanges it had earler, I decided I did not want to be as repetitious as I had already hinted I was about to be. I may have written that out BEFORE I drew elpse’s first argument, in 2008ish, and I may have subconsciously plundered those remarks for other arguments. I remember scribbling it in a notebook my FIRST time in college. I did not know what lope had done at the hospital but I knew getting back into its apartment would be troublesome. Anyway this way is less “funny” but considerably more lopey, which I think is funny, but some people mistake it for sincerity, and pity the creature, and that may have gotten me some print sales at my previous art exhibitions, so perhaps this way is best.

The backgrounds are getting vaguer. I think I can solve my problem with losing patience with my base sketch before it is done and my boring environments at the same time. Going abstract will be easier and will make the settings seem less mundane, I hope. I AM alarmed, however, by how much this lobby inadvertently reminds me of a sega master system game.

To put that comment in perspective, I like them so little that I never use the emulator and thus do not even remember how to get it to start the real game for me to take a screenshot from it, and had to take one of the demo, indicated by the score of 0. In actuality I have several more points than that.

December 13, 2014
backstrom catches bad guys by putting himself in their head

I will have an update on Sunday or my name is not Dwobo Stupwutch. And my name is not Dwobo Stupwutch, but if I fail to display an update that will still be the case.


Page 4 of part 3 of thistle. I keep telling myself when I get a break I will sort out the automated comic system I spent days installing months ago, but I used the break making this new page instead.

The last few times the production got stretched across a lengthy period and I developed a hoard of stupid notes about it that I had to figure out for the website posting. If I did that this time I cannot find any, lucky for you! However, as before, I am concerned about the frequency with which the lizard has been appearing without a mouth lately. I intended to show a picture of it without a mouth here and then looked closer and realized it had a mouth in every pertinent frame, and contradicting me is even worse! I had to waste another minute erasing its mouth in the picture I just showed. Typical pitiful lizard move. Additionally:

I will normally not stick up for dumb imps, but how DARE nemitz talk to elpse that way? How can it live with mitself? Notice how its ears went up just for that remark, like it is prouder of itself than usual. nemitz how would you feel if i said to you “scrobbly doodly nemitz?” Why don’t you think about that awhile. If you have a reason why you don’t I have a reason why I don’t want to hear it!

I wish we could all agree to stop acknowledging nemitz, and just pretend it was not there. Perhaps with time it will choose to not be!

October 6, 2014
all the ‘S’s in sassy morphed and became this goat

page 3 of this we are up to! After all these years, FINALLY at page 3!
The future of the automated comic display system is currently being evaluated then, and thus I have not done it yet.

This page SEEMS useless, but it re-establishes for this “chapter” that lope is a nuisance, and that elpse is a nuisance, that the hat does not like, and solves the problem of my re-establishing that elpse hates robots on the previous page without sending the story off in a more interesting direction than I had planned before i thought to put the robots there. The robots had solved the problem of elpse being about to murder lope for having hit nemitz with the car earlier than that. And this re-establishes that nemitz and elpse forgive each other for their mutual nuisancical qualities (even though I have personally advised elpse against this forgiveness).

For the first time in a while I made up the colors instead of pulling them out of previous pages. It seems to have been an improvement, though the previous pages now appear very dull by comparison. And of course these will be re-dulled when they are printed, so it is probably better to keep doing it the other way even if that looks worse on a computer screen. But we both know that I am contractually obligated to find the most complicated, inconsistent and unintuitive way of doing all tasks.

In other news, the dumb lizard is so pathetic, sometimes it doesn’t even have a mouth, and just has a nose. This thing is incredibly fortunate I need two months to get out a new page. It has no idea how many dumb things it is not doing due to me being held up. And neither do I! Stupid things just HAPPEN when I put it on a page.

Why don’t you just shut up, nemitz. nobody has any interest in ANYthing you have to say. you might as well NOT TALK. Have you forgotten what I threatened to throw at you four years ago? Or have you remembered and here thrown my throw threat back at me? Neither of those is excusable.
Somebody who cannot read or does not understand english might look at this comic strip and think nemitz is saying something, when it IS NOT. 100% or more of what nemitz says is RUBBISH. Why do we, as a nation, put up with nemitz? I have had enough. Good NIGHT. Unless you are a brightly colored imp, in which event I wish you a very BAD night. You are so frustrating, I was distracted and inverted my capitalization scheme.

September 6, 2014

or see it like that.
I am sad to report that this very punchable lizard has rather a history of transforming into stupid things for no reason and then complaining about it to ME, like it is my fault or responsibility. Naturally, it does not learn from its mistakes.

I take special issue with this default position. Very proud! Hands on hips like it thinks it has the answers, and a condescending smile directed at those it thinks have less answers than it. it really thinks its opinion matters to people! I see it in that pose all the time.

It does not learn from its mistakes. It will continue transforming into a duck, looking sad (in my direction), then being abruptly happy again when it recovers,

and resume the proud satisfied pose that implicated it to begin with.

How is being a duck worse than what it already was, anyway? It is just PROUD to be a dumb smiling lizard because that is what it always was and it thinks attributes that it had no part in acquiring are its greatest accomplishment. What a scumbag! A pity it never considers transforming into a smart and reasonable lizard.
I propose immediate harsh sanctions against the nation of lope. Muffin and pumpkin imports are to be cut off entirely as of this announcement. I am not at this juncture advocating putting boots on the ground as this reptileprobate would probably just comment on what splendid boots they were, unconcerned that its stupid feet prevent it from wearing boots. Perhaps its feet will devolve into digitless lumps like its hands are in that previous picture. As long as it can smile and be pathetic I do not see why I should raise my expectations of it.

May 12, 2014
in spring we train real hawd, so we’ll look good on our baseball cawd

redrawn page 21 of that
One of my so-many problems is that I sometimes have a different idea of what I am trying to do than I did when I last looked at it, and then the NEXT time I remember something that I forgot on the previous occasion.
One of the reasons for the walls, I think now, is so that somebody visiting one house is not aware of the other houses, and how close they are. But somehow on numerous occasions I have made a neighboring house visible while a visitor is beside its front door. There is supposed to be a big hill and imperceptibly narrowing space so that visitors do not realize the road is a circle and the houses are all directly beside each other. In fact at one point I considered that maybe there is just ONE house but that was twice as unworkable as the present idea. I suppose it is like the old saying: you win some, you spend the rest of your life trying to recreate those circumstances and eventually give up in disgust at yourself and the world.

I dropped the “space” gag. In this situation this could be legitimately misconstrued as space travel occurring. Nobody has brought this up to me yet, but perhaps no one who would has yet gotten far enough with a fresh memory of this to wonder how elpse walked to the other planet that lope drove to. Also, following that with another view of the houses would be jarring regardless of how the gag was interpreted. However, I think this view is important. I am unsure why I left it out before, because I think even then it is what I meant for people to understand. At least by the first round of redraws I did. This may still fail to communicate what I meant it to, but now I will remember when I see it and stay on the same page with myself in the future. Unless I insert another one somewhere, which will increment the number.

This now offsets things by half a page, but pkzipfix suggested an additional elpse nemitz interlude to explain them better than I at present am explaining them in the future. I like them to be forgotten, or not known at all, and then to appear, and for readers to only realize later that they have been seen already, but maybe it is not as special as I think. This is hardly watchmin; my indestructible naked blue being is much more feared by the Russians.

Regardless, I have half a page to fill.

an addendoy: the next part can be cramped into one page. It is lacking in visual detail or dialog so this should not be the problem I usually make it into. But where will the christmas duo go, then?

May 5, 2014
all energy converges on the power stone which is inside of octopus

page 20 of that. it is fundamentally unchanged from before. The only difference is that it is better drawn, even though it is mostly the same drawings. Theoretically it should be much faster to redraw these now that the layouts already fit, but a comparison reveals I will still find a way to make new problems for meself.

One surprising development: When fiddling with this frame, I spoke aloud, to nobody/everybody, “I bet it would be really stupid to be lope.” Of course it would be, but why would I wait so many years to place an open wager on the expectation? Anybody who might think otherwise has surely long since lost all the money they were going to over such ignorance.

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: April 24, 2017
Charmlatan sez:
Finally, I can see the pogo trio in the animation they were made for. Quite wonderful.
April 21, 2017
charmlatan sez:
A true mark of a comic is when it retcon events or characters. well done! These have been...
April 18, 2017
Purplespace sez:
The purple creature has a nice shade of purple!
April 18, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
I can tell you outright elpse and nemitz have the exact same body. That was a very early,...
April 18, 2017
Indighost sez:
I tend to think of nemitz and elpse as variant primates. Lope is more distinctly reptilian
April 18, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
Thank you for liking the page! I only had to know that I meant the figures to be cat-like! And...
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