Tuesduh, Augurst 24: I made was confronted with this for the thing I was writing and did not complete, but really, it’s just as inappropriate and upsetting wherever it shows up.

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Page 10 of that. Yep.

Is that a hastily assembled content divider or is there a ghost writing this website now?

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page 40 of this. could it be? More space trouble? (yes) This has been up for a few days but I kept forgetting to say so. And eventually I stopped doing that.

Show me a comic that changes styles more often… well often’s not the proper word since I don’t update often, but show me a comic that changes styles more times within a short span of strips and I probably won’t look at it because I’m too jealous and egotistical to read anyone else’s comics unless I think they like mine first. Why did I even bring this up?

I brightened the character colors and restrained myself from overshading with the pen, but this still didn’t get done very fast. Also, I never liked the way the last page looked until I saw it above this one. However, hey nobody fell down on this page. No “people,” anyhow, assuming these degenerates count as that, which I actually don’t.

everything I want to talk about today insists on transitioning into another topic which I do NOT want to talk about, and yet I hate to waste a decent transition.

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Generally, i am not scared of BEARS.

That’s generally, and not for my life.

Unless, however, they wear forest ranger hats, denim pants and no shirts. And also carry a shovel around. A bear may not be able to follow you up a tree, but one with a shovel can certainly swat at you. Or maybe dig up the ground around the tree so you can’t get down without injuring yourself. Why does cb radio jargon in that MAD magazine article from the 1970s that I read in a reprint once refer to the police collectively as “smokey?” Because of that frightful bear who wears the same hat. The scary police who wear brown clothing instead of blue. Is that the natural color or do they just roll around in dirt to make their clothes look more brown and rugged? I always associated that bear with the West and having your car break down on a desolate road in some horrid place and having a sheriffey fellow drive up alongside you and say “you’re not from AROUND here, are ya, son.” Not even a question! Somehow it’s an order, despite no command being issued, and you will be punished for disobeying the non-command. “You’re a LONG way from conneddiggit, BOY.”

Smokey’s not like the cartoon all stars or the ninja turduckens or Kirk Cameron*, who will plead with you to not use drugs and tell you about some fictitious abusers who had hard times. Smokey will point right at YOU and tell YOU to cut it out, lest he maim you with mining equipment. Smokey is scary and he knows it. HE’S not going to prevent forest fires, but he’s going to make you wish you had. Smokey doesn’t beat around the bush; he beats you into the ground for lighting up near a bush. Or maybe he’ll just eat you and use the shovel to dig a ceremonial grave for any bones he doesn’t fancy swallowing. There was an ad recently in which some dirtbag is smoking a cigarette and someone else TRANSFORMS INTO SMOKEY and starts leering at the smoker. Sure, this is because of the FIRE risk of DISCARDING a cigarette carelessly, but it would not be a hard transition to make for Smokey to just hate smokers in general. They’re getting a little too close to his name. Only YOU can prevent Smokey’s lunch.

I have to get a painting painted and framed by Friday. How did that have time to happen?

I like this Smokey from 1944, the year he was introduced. This one has big eyes and big ears, is putting out a fire himself and seems to almost be smiling. I’m not afraid of this one and thus he is not effective and was rightfully phased out in favor of

this wrathful oaf by the time I was paying attention. Forty years of people continuing to start fires anyway will do that to you.

To be fair, however, the same group was using Krauts and Japs to scare childrens around the same time and probably figured bringing in an angry forest beast might be excessive. Or worse, encourage kids to start more fires to burn the brutes alive. Kids these days lack the initiative to start a fire out of spite for a cartoon bear, much less go to a forest for any reason. They’ll drive to your house and murder you for talking trash about them specifically on facebook, but bears are safe.

I stole these off of the slow loading Smokey the Bear website, and I give it credit for not pretending they didn’t stereotype America’s enemies back when that was kewl. However, I’m still not linking directly to it because apparently Smokey is copyrighted and the only thing worse than setting his home on fire is cutting him off from his royalties. It’s been over fifty years by now and Smokey still hasn’t made enough money to retire.

*Kirk Cameron once starred in a drug awareness video which featured Kirk showing kids in a class room other videos of other kids turning into cartoon characters when threatened by drugs in some sort of parody or SLAM to the other drug videos but it didn’t really work because the “real” examples were considerably less entertaining and not a whole lot more plausible; those kids just said “no way man, you jerks aren’t COOL.” and that was the end of their troubles. True enough; nobody’s going to chase you down and MAKE you eat drugs for biting your thumb at them; that stuff’s expensive. They’ll probably just murder you and call it even. Additionally, In order to gain access to the kids he imposes his videos upon, Kirk outwits and outmaneuvers a bumbling hall monitor who for reasons that aren’t stated but I can fully understand does not want Kirk Cameron in that classroom. That doesn’t put us in the right frame of mind to compare fiction to fictitious reality. You might as well have brought Moraff in there.

Also, based on the online appearance of and reactions to the “nobody turns down drugs” scene from the video within the video, nobody also turns down realizing or caring that this part is supposed to be ridiculous. This clip, incidootily, was blatantly ripped out of another youtube video featuring brief strange clips from uncited sources, in which context it could be argued, due to its presence not being announced (6 minutes, 13 seconds in), this weirdness is far more effective (apart from the annoying “static” transitions, but that’s irrelevant because the person who reripped out the drug clip didn’t bother to omit the annoying fake 1970s static).

I’d like to tell you what the film is called but I forgot approximately the moment I learned it back in 1995 (and I had to watch it twice!), and Mr. Cameron may have since lobbied to have it removed from his filmo graphy. He’d much rather be known for classics like Firepoof, featuring a wicked computer screen that creates pornography to tear a marriage apart so that nothing less than Chick Fila product placement can heal the wounds.

And here, because I love to end on a depressing note, I shall mention the link currently in the upper right corner from the first clip I linked to.

Nobody turns down drugs, and nobody turns down REAL-TIME SUICIDE, either, judging by that view count. You know, that title isn’t enough! We’d better write this on the actual video in IMPACT, the world’s least sympathetic font.
I assume this is some gimmick to get people to click on a video which does not actually depict a suicide occurring. It potentially even scolds people for daring to look at it. However, the idea that the promise of video of suicide, real or not, gets one million people to watch it does not give me comfort. Even if some outrage group linked to it with “this is disgusting and should be banned but watch it anyway” that wouldn’t likely account for more than a few thousand additional views. Somebody influential has FEATURED this.

Whatever’s in the video, the real tragedy is that anybody takes this guy’s recommendation for anything.

Aye yi.

pictures in squares, Boot Club | May I have a word with you? | !

I have one of many headaches. I am going to sleep.

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page 9 (scroll down!) of that. I’m always looking for a way to speed things up. I’m always failing, to, too. It won’t be necessary to remind me never to try this way again because I’ll remember.

No, actually, I just remembered that I’ll forget. I should have reminded you to remind me sooner.

Also, I realized I ought to have made a better/any plan for this whole “remake” business and rearranged events so that no memory scenes were necessary, because they’re awkward and unprofessional. However, I do not believe that I did. That is to say, you can be sure that when I make them they will be awkward and unprofessional. I like to think this way is less jarring than the old way, but I also like to think I’m less likely to get hearteriosclerosis because I eat boring and chewy Kashi cerealdirt instead of corn flakes like I used to even though I still eat just as many hot clogs. As for lope(the lizard)’s ridiculous automobile, it’s in just one frame here so there’s still time to not get around to redesigning it into a more visually appealing and practical-looking thing whose drawing process is in any way logical.

page 39 (scroll down!) of this. The physics of the technique on display here don’t check out at all, but it was funny in my mind.
I’m still trying to figure this “ink” thing out. Likewise, I’m still not doing that. It’s getting more elaborate, but not any faster, clearer or easier. In fact, this actually looks worse with the way I color stuff than immediately after I scan it [four times, once from each corner and then reassemble the pieces]. Whoopth.
Also, the time has been two years since I last drew Rabivmip, (if we don’t include that one frame with the people running through the hall way, since I forgot about it) even though that was only 19 pages ago. What is wrong with me? The answer: something is wrong with me. I’m trying to be more outgoing and affable, so what’s wrong with you?

Aw, bacula, three hours exposed to sunlight across a week and I have freckles again.

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also of bloat: a rambunctious gang of colorful images you’ve possibly seen before.

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Good dag to you, behold and be abhorring page 8 of that. See if you can spot every missed opportunity for background shenanigans! Maybe it will be different when page nine comes around. For now my fingers are feeling less than dexterous.

The lizard’s predicament is different than it was on the previous page. I like the appearance of that way but it did not lend itself well to redraws. Eight-and-a-half years ago I had tied two socks together and drawn from that. Two months ago I didn’t feel like mixing two socks again. This month I did, so we’re back to that. I considered amending the page seven appearance to match the socks but it doesn’t look as interesting, and I just noticed the size doesn’t match either, so fleedle bidle budle. And then the usual trouble with space allotment. This process needs to change!

Those other frames I remember drawing, but for a reason I cannot recall I did not use them in the old version. Nor can I find scans of them apart from this one that I once used on a web page entirely out of context back when I was using a computer that I guess I had the scans saved on its drive. This is all probably very unimportant.

page 38 of this. Does it look to you like 80 hours of work?

I like the fur-style of the second nemitz. So why did I draw it like a werewolf in the rest of them?
I fear 20+ years of stupid side-scrolling video games has caused my skill at staging multiple characters to develop in an odd fashion.
Also, sometimes the things I do as meaningless gags mess with the things I intend for people to remember.
My inking really ISN’T getting any better. Every time it’s miserable at first and then I start to like it better toward the end. THIS time, though, there’s no excuse for that eleventh frame. Peff. I will use bigger paper next time. That will either make things slightly easier or a lot harder for a variety of unrelated reasons.

I like to think I’ve improved a little bit in eight years.

Maybe I can compile a bunch of these silly notes and call that an update. No, I CAN, but I wonder if I WILL. I haven’t decided if this one counts yet, either.

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I just went outside for ten minutes or so for the purpose of looking at the moon. That probably means I’m crazy. However, it might be the good crazy. Either way it probably also means that I am boring.

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Last year I whined, inadvertently, on my birth-day. This year I pledge not to do that. If you don’t know when it is or had forgotten, that is fine and possibly preferable.

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Monday:
Yes, it’s true! I broke my own website!
While trying to block another abusive IP address with a file called “.htaccess,” I inadvertently destroyed everything. I thought the webhost people had removed the old one, but evidently it had only been set to be invisible somehow. Since I could not find the old one to work from, I couldn’t add the old data nor keep its syntax, the syntax being the disastrous element. Eight hours later, I noticed. All I could do was swap the bad htaccess for a blank one, because I appear to never have bothered to save an online copy of the most recent functioning non-blank version. And so now not only is the new comment robot not blocked, the OLD ones are UNBLOCKED. Whoopth.
WHILE the site was broken, a message instructed anyone, possibly no one, to send email to “webmaster@bimshwel.com.” I don’t know whose address that is, but it certainly isn’t mine! I am but a webpeasant. I did sometime ago make this thing forward any email addressed to bimshwel to me, but I doubt it knows how to do that when it’s broken. Also, I haven’t been writing a page update since the last one.

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page 7 of that
At last, I have uploaded three comic pages in one month! However, I did not get much else done and now expect to revert to my standard .9 or less.
I reversed the creature positions from the old ones so they would match the previous page. However, the words fit better the old way. Whoopth. Someday I’ll figure it out. Maybe that should be the title. No, I like the current one better.

I did not hate the “I had my house built BACKWARDS” line, despite its apparent untruth conflicting with the odd, unfunny compulsion I make the speaker have later; I’m sure something about the house is backwards that kumquat kould klaim makes the statement true, but this alternate version occurred to me and I didn’t want it to go to waste.

In addition to the color, I like to think I’m using this as an opportunity to correct the errors of a poorly/not at all thought out thing but that I like the eventual result of and so dare not scrap entirely. So why am I still using the same fonts I picked out on a whim almost nine years ago? I don’t adhere to them as strictly as I did when I first started hand-writing them rather than type-setting them, but you can still discern that they’re based on fonts.

You do not own me! I do not answer to you! Stop trying to take my rights awayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Sunday:
Oops, now I have to go to a weird place. I assume I will return eventually.

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I always liked Montgomery Python, despite the internet’s efforts, but I still don’t think Eric Idle is that great a composer.

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I am feeling a little better, sanity wise, for the moment. However, I now have a headache.

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Saturday: I just accidentally drank some water less than half an hour after using mouthwash. I will probably be dead within the hour, but I want to let you know before I go that yes, I use mouthwash.

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Friday: Being a psychopath is no fun when you’re too sensible to act on any of your constant deranged impulses.

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There’s something incredibly wrong if the most intellectually stimulating thing I do all day is recreate the first few notes of the Faxanadu town music by scrolling through menus with my telephone.

Also, just that stupid little thought there is evidently 57 units too long to be permissible by twitter. I hate you, twitter. You discriminate against people who associate with sentences. That fits, but I won’t bother.

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Thursday: It may shock you to know that I am capable of having personal issues that prevent me from doing things that I normally do, such as talking at length about nothing in text boxes on the internet. Still, you have my assurance that they are entirely selfish and introverted reasons.

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Which means I’m not in any great trouble and I am open to being resented further.

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page 37, of this. I reckon those backgrounds are subject to change. Oh, and I’ve finally decided on a title. It’s called “weird looking people falling down for no reason.”
What’s wrong with me? I think my favorite part of this sometimes is tracing over the letters in ink, which I think you’ll agree is not my strength.
I know I had a “rule” for biv v zuh at one point, but I forgot how it went.

Alfight, now I have returned to writing things. However, I also need to return to sleeping. So much returning! I’m glad I don’t have to rewind first.

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I am drawing stuff. Progress is slow. You know how that goes.

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page 6, down there somewhere, of that.
I tried to remove bits of this conversation that don’t make sense but I left in parts that are out of character. In either case it is easier to get away with childish writing when it is accompanied by childish drawings. However, I have no intention of getting away. Even in my dreams I know: I’d never get away, not even for a day when… a peanut hits me on the nose.

Aw baw, those green bricks look like the backgrounds in Alfred Chicken. That is NOT GOOD. Even though the only bearable thing about that game were its incidental colorful environments, I’d rather not think about it for any reason. Hopefully my musical score won’t be similarly evocative.