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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
August 30, 2018
It’s the All New Pink Panther Laugh-and-a-Half Hour-and-a-Half Show Introducing Misterjaw

I am too mentally ill to make comics. Usually, on the internet, being mentally ill is good for comics, if you are mentally ill in a relatable fashion and it manifests in such a way where you don’t care how shoddily you draw. It may even be the case that the WORSE you draw, the more liked you are. Or if you are ill to such an extent that you have no idea you are and are extremely prolific in that. I have an illness of indecision, inability, hyper-awareness of inability and regret. Nobody on earth has any need for that manner of illness.


After relettering, respacing the same dialog boxes and redrawing the same negligible details ad-implausium I finally sent off the comic book order a few days ago. I won’t see them for a month but I sure can’t change them now! Consequently it is imperative that I do not look at any of the page images that I sent before the books get printed and sent to me. Or even after that point, just to be safe.
Ironically, the main person whose off-hand remark about the first book, that I should consider using fonts, looked over one my next to last proof copy inside a dark restaurant and said it was much easier to read the dialog, which meant I had done enough that I could stop, but I did not stop! I am like the text grinch; my scrutiny over my handwriting’s legibility grew three sizes that day when it was criticized. However instead of becoming a hero to the town i became a total outcast since I needed to scorn all other activity and contact so I edit speech baubles for months. Of course Madison Connecticut town would prefer not to have me in it so that suits them.


the first version of this cover image appears as the inside back cover of the first book, which was printer in 2016. Up until the most recent proof of book 2, this part of the image looked JUST FINE to me. But the night I was preparing to send the final set of updated pages, suddenly it did not! The line of motion was inconsistent with the image around it, and the bug was not sourced at all. I thought I could draw it better than that, and I did, but it still was not good enough. I remembered I had some insect references I had used recently, so I used them again and got a yet better looking bug, but I decided those were not good enough because all my references showed bugs not in-flight. And were moths, anyway. It is already bad to use a standing bug as reference for a flying one, and using a moth as a reference for a fly is worse! Amateurish! I found a very good fly reference! But the angle was wrong. And was perhaps too detailed! It looked too aggressive, too fast, too big (this version was not preserved so it is not in the montage). The viewer should be able to see the wings, not the legs, much less six multi-jointed legs. But I couldn’t just NOT include the legs because then it looks like I don’t value accuracy. I made it smaller and blurrier, so there still ARE legs but only really visible if it is your destiny to make sure that I gave the fly legs. but at some point the details stop being distinguishable, since there are too many of them. The first bug looked gentle, which is funny, and the simpler design reads more easily, since it is a very small creature in a very small part of the image! I decided to try a proper flying moth reference but none of them looked like what I wanted. I went back to the fly, simplified it a bit, so I could make it let smaller. Being too realistic can harm the joke, anyway. But what even IS the joke?
The “joke” hinges on it being obvious that pog has no brain, and something flying out of there implies that the space is empty because i don’t know why but it does.
Suddenly I had to think about it, and I didn’t see any logical reason why a fly indicates an empty space, which means it must be based on a stereotype or a cliche which has become far removed from whatever base sense inspired it. I could not even remember where I first saw an example of a fly coming out something empty, but for some reason knew it was probably a wallet, so I looked that up, and while I gained no insight as to WHY, i learned that it was in fact supposed to be a MOTH coming out of wallets specifically. Since I have already moved the logicless stereotype from its roots, which are purely symbolic, changing the insect type also cannot be done! It would HAVE to be a moth! *I* had been misled because the cartoon in which I observed this, presumably Pink Panther –based on most the panther’s situations are instigated by him being a lout and him specifically therefore needing a host of ways to indicate a lack of money without speaking– of course didn’t care what the bug looked like and nobody else, the entire staff of the cartoon, the production company, the distributor, the networks which aired the cartoon decades later, cared either, and nobody watching it did, including me.

Well maybe it was a garfield comic. That much is irrelevant! What matters is that drawing a generic unsourced bug is a-ok when thousands, millions of people are going to see it. But when only me and maybe 14 other people are going to see it, such negligence is UNFORGIVABLE.

Now please try and imagine that with 40 images I will probably have this sort of stupid problem over and over on every one of them. I am a very sick person. I need to make a full print book order not because anybody else wants these books, only so that the production of the books no longer holds me irrationally captive.

Anyway, I went back to the moth version. A miracle occurred so that I found it acceptable, as awkwardly posted as it was, with the matter of the motion trail still not resolved, so I saved the image, reduced it to the print size, collected it with the other pages I was uploading, into a 167 megabyte zip file, started uploading it, went to the bathroom. this was approximate 3:38am. I was misled, however. The tyrant was not satisfied, it just had changed its focus. I began to panic because I considered that I had, during this session, because I was zoomed in and having problems with everything, also absentmindedly applied a cartoon-derived stereotype to the left-inside of pog’s space (vertical lines) to imply it was metallic. Even though the inside of pog is NOT metallic and if I wanted it to look metallic I should not rely on hacky shortcuts anyway.


Even though it does not matter because this is an area smaller than the tip of a pencil. Without using the toilet I came back down, cancelled the upload, made a very minor alteration, exported the image again, checked that every other image was the right size, made a new zip file, and began uploading that again, and then I realized I had made the alterations WITHOUT reverting the image to its full size! Which means if I at this point decide to go back and change it again, as looking at this has made me sincerely, profoundly, want to, since I am now VERY conscious of the light colored streak on the right-inside of the space, I will have to first blow up the pertinent region and then draw over it to make sure it is a full fidelity image, even though is almost 0 zero chance across my lifetime or anyone else’s that there will be any need for a full resolution version of this picture, and then once I do that it may not necessarily have the desirable qualities of the pre-blown up and redrawn version.

And

and

and

nobody on earth will know that I did or did not do it!

An update for august 31:


Here is or should be a big slow-loading gif which shows a vague version of the state of one page at the time of each of the three example prints and the final print (which does not yet exist). All of them AFTER incessant pre-print redrawing, remember. The point is that after waiting several weeks, I looked at every part of every page, three times, saw something incredibly minor, after I thought I was done, and had to open it back up again. On only nine of the pages I restrained myself from making more changes, even though I wanted to! The point the point the point is that I lost my mind and have evidence. I did not regain my mind, I simply was too tired to meet its demands.
Observe that the upper and lower left frames were changed with each printing but other places changed fewer times. This means I was able to look straight at something, on paper, think it was acceptable (after having looked at it prior to then numerous times across years and thought it acceptable), then look straight at it again at a later point and find it inexcusable beyond all reason. This means there could have been fifth, and sixth, and seventh prints, and I could still find fresh problems, just on the dumb letters. Letters too close together, too close to the bauble edge, WORDS too close together, veering too much up or down, not aesthetically balanced within the bauble. At no point, after no period of time, can I look at what I made and be satisfied with it. Even when logically I know that the longterm benefit of spending more time on it, rather than on anything at all else, no longer exists. Not only am I too mentally ill to make comics, I am too mentally ill to read comics.

And in the lower right can be observed my attempt to amend a minor legibility error by rewriting the dialog in a new temporary image layer above the base layer, but forgetting to delete the letters on the base layer before merging the temporary layer into it, and then forgetting to look in that space again until after the book was printed, thereby creating a MAJOR legibility error that would be impossible to overlook! This means that for each subsequent print I needed to look at every space of every page to ensure I had not committed that error anyplace else, even though such investigation would increase the possibility of me finding and obsessing over yet more imaginary problems. And then I ended up doing that in at least four other places anyway.

Seeing this gif now, it bothers me that I made kumquat’s dialog green-tinted when kumquat is out of view, against a non-tinted room. This is confusing and makes it look like elpse is talking. I thought, for years, and then afterward, it is quite obvious from context and precedent who is speaking, but people always find a way to miss all my points, so they could well claim to be confused. But if they are confused by that then they couldn’t possibly understand anything else, so I leave this green. But I will go back to the first fear, and have to explain to myself why this fear is unjustified, repeatedly. I know this is not entertaining. I need to make this understood as clear as I can make it so that in the future I can refer back to it rather than attempting to explain it again!


OH the windows and other details on the buildings are misaligned, the design on the billboard is indistinct, there is a little black speck just under the right side structure’s roof, the eyebrows float off the panther’s head and that hat is WAY TOO SMALL! How did this cartoon get made?



August 24, 2018
The song was also covered by Danny & the Memories, British group The Action, Ted Nugent, the J. Geils Band, and the stars of the 1980s-era World Wrestling Federation.


hastily detailed and colored editions of yet more hastily drawn sketches of dork creatures who will probably not be seen again!
And I did this because I am too out of my mind to prepare proper text entries and I am writing those pretty much for myself at this point anyway, my tastes and criticisms having almost no foundation in reality or contemporary society, or even outdated society that is so in a socially acceptable manner. Yet nonetheless I crave superficial internet attention because my next exhibition for real people is still two months away from now. Being ready for that means not spending ages making stupid stuff that I cannot show there! I must be able to make stupid stuff very quickly.
The greyish colors are a consequence of me drawing directly over a crummily-lit and blurry camera-phone photograph of the pertinent sketchbook page. I used to have a good, proper digital camera, but I need to replace it five months ago. The grey seemed at first like it was working. Of course part of slacking off well is creating the appearance of working. My life is an exemplary example of that.



August 17, 2018
Its developer, Nihilistic Software, was inspired by the God of War and Ninja Gaiden video games to create an experience featuring gore and nudity.


nemitz strikes it rich with a metal detector. it must be assumed that the metal detector is borrowed or stolen. and also that nemitz will be quite glad to dig that thing up and will offer to split the prize with anybody who helps.
A picture that I liked as a sketch, but could not fill in with enough details that I liked it finished. This contrasts with what usually happens, when I ruin the picture by trying to insert so many details that I overwhelm both the image and myself, though a point could be made about the incredibly large distraction on the lower left. That makes the tiny little distraction on the lower middle right seem too small, and not providing adequate counter-balance. But the nonsense objects I would generally fill space with, such as pine cones and pumpkins are already featured, and at a yet smaller size, on the vending machine’s buttons. Worse still, neither of the allusions inherent in the external objects is organic to me. I played the video game Dig Dug early in my life, but too early in fact to remember what the primary monsters looked like and I never came back to it until now. I had to look up both that thing’s appearance and even how the game works. Additionally, I do not think the Atari 2600 game “E.T. The Last Dinosaur” is any worse or dumber than the average bad atari 2600 game. I inherited a 2600 unit and a collection of game cartridges, including Dig Dug, from my cousins when they obtained a Nintendo Ehhh System. They probably had about the average assortment of games, including Adventure, Missile Command, Mario Bros and whatnot. There were a few that I could not make sense of but that could be attributed to my lack of age and experience at the time. When I got to emulating the 2600 system, however, the complete collection of roms included loads of terrible, obscure games that even as a moderately old person I could hardly figure out. Those likely comprise a majority of what was available for the 2600. ET only differs in that its cartridge was produced in great quantities. But I never had one!
Although I distinctly recall, in the game Pitfall, the character would be destroyed regardless of what point it attempted to jump across the alligators, and people still swear that was a “classic.” And I never found joy enough in emulating 2600 to do it more than once in ten years, and consequently the emulators I have for it don’t even work anymore, and I don’t feel like getting them to work just to provide another illustration for this website update.
I believe it is fair to blame nemitz for all of these things.



July 26, 2018
The Manager is a magical creature who takes the form of a puzzle man,


This is an exaggerated garbage idea that would be funny if i drew it like garbage instead of spending hours trying to draw it above my level, even though it still isn’t drawn particularly well.


additionally, the earliest saved sketch i have of it still is not funny, because I cannot draw badly in a way that looks functionally deliberate.
Such is the bimshwel existence.
The guy with sunglasses is not part of my initial pitch to myself, and that might also be a problem. If the idea works at all, that guy is not a part of it and explaining this makes it even less funny, but the rubbish I was writing that led me to think of this as a way of illustrating instead of spelling out, now plainly needs to be written anyway since this picture didn’t work so when I write that I will have no choice but to explain it. If necessary, I may even explain the previous sentence.



July 8, 2018
The gameplay consists of encountering and defeating wild creatures in order to obtain their phone numbers and store them on a mobile phone-like device.[7]

I wondered if I could work six unrelated sketchbook creatures into one coherent finishedish digital piece. I could not!

I did not attempt this previously since in most past years I used such large sketchbooks, 11×14 inches, that attempting to use EVERYTHING was infeasible and I did not attempt it. Now I use sad little ones and still barely have time enough to fill them, much less draw well in them.


here is the actual bad camera picture i used of the sketchbook page to draw over for the digital version. Notice first of all that the lighting on display is so bad that I cannot increase the contrast without whiting out the one on the upper right nor reduce the brightness without blacking out the lower left item. Even isolated without the other ones, I had to GUESS at the nature of my initial last-November intent with that one. In fact, months after taking this picture I had to dig out the pertinent book and find this page because I could not tell what that thing was supposed to be. And still afterward could not!
Even worse: I had to MIRROR one of the creatures! What scandal and horror. Consequently I like this better than most other drawings I put on the internet in the past year.



April 23, 2018
the agony booth is a most effective means of discipline


A highly not-yet-finished picture called “hats coming to visit.” there is an accompanying music piece… or rather i made some stupid minimally remarkable music, absentmindedly named it that, and then constructed a picture of a literal interpretation of those words. It is easier to post unfinished drawings and not feel bound to them than it is with unfinished music. The only reason the music is unfinished is because that dumb comic book is also destroying what little life i have unfinished and if I turn on the music program that will be an all day matter, potentially. Which apparently I do not want to risk, when there are so many totally meaningless tasks I can be doing for other people that are not satisfying the slightest bit and will take many days or weeks to finish.
I have a heap of resentment for people that I don’t consider to be “real artists” who post loads of drawings with minimal thought, effort or restraint on to the internet. By perhaps not chance, several of them play musical instruments or engage in digital audio tomfoolery. Sometimes I wonder if I am a hypocrite, for being a visual artist and occasionally pretending to be a musician. But I’m not because I assure you I spend loads longer on my noises than they do on their scribbles. You can’t be a popular music artist just by having an ugly squirrel/raccoon/dog thing for a mascot.
No actually probably you can; if you buy the expensive version of fl studio there are enough default filters that sound exactly like trash off the radio with minimal user input that an actual squirrel could probably design a hit track but I am obviously not doing that because those are all marked “demo” (and rather difficult to purge from and wholly unwelcome in my USABLE instrument list) in my version so it isn’t the same.

I do not mind there being demo versions of fancy music effects; I object to them not being able to be removed from a version of the program that is NOT a demo.
Try to imagine a middle finger in my face that cannot be removed from the vicinity of my face, that I paid $160 for, dangling a sign that says “gimme another hundred!” If you successfully imagined that, you may have a future in software development.

This is also the one year anniversary of my father’s demise, and the ten month anniversary of my not finishing the second post I wrote about that. although that isn’t really significant for an unposted piece around here until it reaches the ten year mark. In any event I think he would be glad to know I am just as unaccomplished and unfocused in my pursuits and just as inclined to blame people who did not cause my problems as when he was alive, were he alive, because that would mean he proved the impermanence of death, a matter sought after and never attained through the entire known existence of humanity, if not all life as we understand it. Of course THEN I would be disappointing by comparison to THAT, but everybody else would be, also, and my shortcomings would be less acute.


Look, there! He is imploring us to look there at a windmill. How could he do that if he were dead? The crushed ant corpse that I evidently neglected to notice was stuck to the photograph until a year after scanning it, THAT is what a dead being looks like.



April 1, 2018
As Adol listened to these atrocities, his blood raged and his adrenaline flowed.

The First Steps Toward Worship


featuring Adol “Born Again” Christin. There is no way that Adol’s deliveries can be over.



March 4, 2018
you look like you’re really on the ball

The lizard of two evils


in the disrespect that it looks very stupid and is also animated.

The dumbest thing is that the lizard thinks it has to change its pose to a broader stance with its arms crossed, like that will impress people, which is NOT the case. What that absurd moron fails to recognize is that nobody on earth or elsewhere is impressed. Not elpse. Not even the dope! nemitz, maybe, but i think we should all aim for better than that. It also seems unaware that its head is disproportionate to its body until it falls down since the square boundaries are difficult to optimize for an upright-standing figure. Or even a degenerate bow-legged dork like this one.

i absolutely did not need to make this. I considered that i had not animated anything recently, and also that my most-appreciated overall artwork have been low resolution pixel icons.


And apart from one that made before I knew what I was doing, they all feature other people’s characters. Some of which I do not like at all. Not necessarily any of those, though not necessarily not NOT any of those. And those that I dislike inspire other people with equally bland or worse requests to come to me instead of ones I could potentially find a mutually beneficial situation with. Which is not to say that i APPROVE of either of the morons that I am showing today, but i disapprove of them in a way that amuses me. Nor do I mean to suggest that I think drawing dumb garbage like this and then waiting is going to solve any problem, but I was starting to think that anything by me with wiggling creature toes being used as even a remote representation of myself, as I had done with the second icon here, was creating problems.

I could not tell you WHY there even is a problem that exists which is caused by that. I have lived a strange and unrealistic life, and that has its consequences.

If only life could be such a fantasy! It would surely be my final, were i to believe in it.



February 3, 2018
The ownership of the family house also changed. In the original series and The Munsters Today the Munsters owned the house but in this version they’re just house-sitting for Herman’s sister.


As a child (despite the maturity level I exhibit I am in fact quite older than that) i loved looking at pictures of castles and thinking about them, and for most of my life it bothered me that i could never draw them however hard i tried. now I realize I can, so long as I keep them implausible. I made this “quickly” in the past two hours so I would have something to upload this week. Practicality and scale were not major concerns.

I am not totally sure what this is, but it is the most sincere drawing I have put on the internet in some months. It needs some more creatures, but I could add creatures all night, and I am already committed to adding unnecessary details forever to a more pressing project.



January 23, 2018
The Disney game is built around the “arcade-style” gameplay, including fighting ghosts and shoveling coal into a fireplace.[1]

I checked and could not find any drawings, official or otherwise, of the two kids who let the Secret of Mana hero just fall down the waterfall, then run off and tell nobody, and are ANGRY when he survives. With friends like that, I am not surprised he starts slaughtering little yellow legless rabbit-things the first chance he gets.
I made this a bigger job than it needed to be, for something so stupid, and I screwed up much of it, but it is good practice, I have to hope. I am not terribly fond of it but I don’t have the energy to create and post something better, and the last brief entry I posted due to a lack of energy apparently didn’t work at all so this is here to distract from that. I meant to get into detail about what I screwed up in this picture, why I drew it to begin with and also show the basest sketch of it but somehow the topic turned into other Mana series games, namely Sword of Mana, which always leads to angry run-on sentences and precisely the sort of thing I am incapable of writing at the moment in a way that is the slightest bit amusing, so I will cross that bridge when I come to it and hopefully not be disappointed by the adventure that ensues once I fall off of it.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: February 19, 2019
Charmlatan sez:
Nemitz certainly has hugged through the decades. It’s nostalgic seeing them all...
February 17, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
Not being able to discuss your jury duty is almost as tragic as getting hugged by a clown...
February 17, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
The moral here is that having a cat in your life is a good way to fill your existence with...
February 16, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
Maybe in the remainder of 2019 someone will invent a shoe store that stays in business.
February 12, 2019
Patachu sez:
SHOES THAT PAUSES YOUR TV! and that was *only* 2018!
February 11, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
I do not know if you saw my previous post on the topic, https://bimshwel.com/?p=7746 but my...
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