drawings and such stupid comics and whatnot

April 24, 2011
With a little bit of luck you won’t get ooked!

I didn’t forget, I was just really, really disappointed. And quite busy, also killing Osama bin Laden.
——————————————————
Legally, my notice about the disappointing post happened on May 1.
——————————————————
I will post something on May 1! It will probably be disappointing!
——————————————————



That’s just irresponsible. This should not be encouraged and we should not be excited about it.


I really don’t feel safe. The mango level is out of control. It has become a danger to itself and those around it. Medieval restraint devices have been brought out. We couldn’t possibly just call this “mango flavored iced tea”, given the circumstances.


It is not at all sensible. It is not moderating its own actions.


Beside the point but no more sensible.


Now we’ve given them guns! This is not the way to help them!

That’s safer, but still not addressing the problem.


I like your enthusiasm and elbows but this isn’t helping either.



Can we not recycle or eh resume in a responsible manner?

And should we really be enrouraging people to use so much junk that the bin is philled up?


To be fair, one’s sex attraction is not typically filtered through logic or reason.

In the interest of vertical balance I will post the wordy part of my madness spree later, with less pictures.


I’m sure you’re excited to know there’s more where this came from. With that said I will refrain from commenting on the shape of Phillup’s waste adornment.



July 19, 2009
I’m showing my helping hand by partnering with Hamburger Helper


I am trying to do a thing, but it is taking too long. Oops. I will try again tomorrow.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

That really isn’t my problem. I couldn’t help you if it was. I wouldn’t if I could.

Michael Jackson is not a good Nerf gun, apparently, regardless of how many of his body parts are reported to be constructed from the orange, foam-like substance.



“Other farm games”: why are there any, much less if they are reputed for their slowness? I don’t doubt that even a video game about filling a bucket could be entertaining if done properly or merely spammoed to enough idiots in the facebook who forget that actual video games still exist, but I’d still be baffled if an entire genre formed around it. At best, you’ll get a series of Double Dare physical challenges out of it.
I could scarcely grasp the popularity of amusement park simulations, but farms just seem slow and dull. I liked running around with the guy in Harvest Moon until I realized I had to make him buy seeds and plant stuff. Although even more popular to others and more baffling to me are simulations of the yet more mundane, less consequential strictly residential existences of The Sims, and I filled a couple of notebook pages complaining about that which neither you nor I are likely to see in our futures, to our non-detriment, so let us talk about something else.



Very well, I grant you permission to talk about something else.

Great!


It appears to be the case that we have zwinky templates / six year old children animating our music videos now. We also have bands named after School House Rock segments. “No more kinnngs… We’re gonna do it our way!” I can’t stand it. I want to punch a poptart when I think of it. And I had to see this in the theatre of a movie I paid to watch.



Why is there a life size cardboard cut out of just some guy in this store? I thought it was one of the employees, at first, because of that necklace he’s wearing, but soon I knew the truth:

Yes, hopay, I understand it’s one of the characters from the feature film Twineline… but if I had not seen the movie I would not know that. And as somebody who’s seen the movie, I can’t imagine why anybody would want to own a thing which reminded them of it. The guy’s boardsona is utterly ordinary looking aside from his chalky skin, which could easily be a result of it being out in someone’s back yard for a couple years.

If I purchased every life size cardboard cut out of a fictional character I saw, I’d have Bat-Man, Darth Vader, Shaquille O’Neal and some guy. Next to Yoda he’s just some guy. Some guy with faded paint. So. I just thought I’d tell you.



June 10, 2008
if it goes ‘kerplunk’ you’re s-s-s-s-s-sunk.

I used to want to be a cartoonist, but the thought of me ever getting to a point where I had to be satisfied with that quality of output and that often made me want to die. I also surely lack the life experience to meet the annual golf-gag quota.

I remember back when all the characters, who hadn’t aged physically or mentally in ever, in an attempt to show that they had the vaguest connection with reality, started getting computers and making jokes that only made sense if you had neither an idea of how to use one nor any reason to have one. The moral of the story was always that you were better off reading a newspaper or using a typewriter, and you’d save money, too! Then a few years later Science Watch on The Local News discovered computers could do one new thing, at which point it was revealed that you were also better off listening to The Radio (no doubt further advances made since whenever I wrote and misplaced this have been thoroughly trounced by reference to the existence of marvelous television). Oh oh oh, I’ll never forget that Hi and Lois patriarch’s smug, half closed eyes fixed upon his big white booklet of horizontal black lines as he lerds it over his archetypally hip-yet-defeated developmentally stunted 40-year-old dwarf-offspring at the other edge of the frame whose internet browser is just so slow. No point is made in that comic so well as when it’s delivered by a character walk-posing or at least facing away from the problem. “Well I’ve solved this! There be no need to linger and have my proclamation questioned. I need regard it no further.” This is very much the trite domestic equivalent of “It’s a shame I won’t get to see you die! Ha ha ha!” except totally boring and without idealism personified escaping the death trap once left unattended. I do at least like some ambition in my monotony.
Ugh beans. Hi and Lois have just got it all figured out. I’ve seen similar frustrations brought up in regards to They’ll do it Every Time but mercifully I was spared from ever having a local news-paper which printed that. What’s important is that being disgusted by newspaper comics is a fairly consistent phenomenon among people aware of newspaper comics.

I remember more specifically that case of the mother character from For Better or For Worse (a title with the mathematical quantity of zero) struggling to open a box containing a cd-rom for a word processing computer program after one of her supposedly computer savvy children lures her from her typewriter and attempts to show her a better way to type-write. In the event you purchase a computer that lacks a typing receiver pre-installed, a computer which, by the way, you’d never find in a computer store, which is the only way a comic strip family would ever acquire one, and you purchased Microsoft Word on a CD, and your kids have been running it off the cd instead of installing it, then it is they who are dumb, and not necessarily all things which have been invented since your birth. Anyway, at the strip’s epic conclusion the mother has still not experienced success in opening the CD box and goes back to the typewriter and the end Heathcliff. No doubt this was based on the author’s own personal experience, not being able to open a CD box, which evidently takes longer to learn the arcane technique of than to draw and pen-trace a bunch of little boxes illustrating the failure. And now I have described it in many words.



July 21, 2007
Defeating you would not help me gain fame.

Monday:
The internet has seemed only slightly less creepy since I figured out people talking about their GFs don’t mean their grandfathers.

Tuesday:
Why are the people who say “IMHO,” meaning “in my humble opinion,” almost always the least humble? You can tell they really think they have the best opinion of all. They’re so un-humble that they constantly remind everyone how humble they want us to think they are. They might as well say I’M A HO, because it’s usually true.

Wednesday:
Any day when I can’t wake up until 3 pm is one that I shouldn’t require a nap during.

Thursday:
My brother (the Ian one) just explained Fantasy Baseball to me. I felt like his wife.

Friday:
Overheard by me, spoken by one of my fence-building occasional neighbors, presumably to one of his children: “I will kick your ass. Get in the car.” The continued childish laughter from the suspected target suggested this was not a sincere threat, but it’s certainly nothing my father ever said to me.

Saturday:
Lists are easy.

We chilled on Sunday.



June 19, 2007

I’m so tired of card tricks. Yes, I get that they’re easy to hide and switch around because they’re really thin and their backs are all identical. I also am totally over magic ians pretending that they messed up. Is this your card? No, no, ha ha ha, of course not, because this is your card! I’ll bet… no, I won’t bet, because that reminds me too much of poker, which is even more annoying than magicians, but I certainly would not be surprised if they had an idea, but didn’t know for sure, so they contrive ways to reveal each guess in progressively showy fashions to make it seem like everything was building up to that. But building up to what? Oh, hoo-ray, you found a card. I bet you can’t even sneak into building 4 and save Dr. Petrovich with that. I am sick to tears of the Jack of Spades and the Five of Clubs. If I must keep seeing these dumb tricks, surely they can also be done with Monopoly Chance cards or Pokemon cards. Is your card the Won Second Place in a Beauty Contest? No, of course not, because it’s actually WARTORTLE! I could try to convince myself that that the popular variety are Faxanadu cards, but then where’s MATTOCK and WINGBOOTS?



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database


them`s fightin` woids: May 21, 2015
Frimpinheap sez:
It is easy to hit a wall with Doom editing, since a lot of the extended features are implemented...
May 21, 2015
Frimpinheap sez:
I have been drawing the dumb lizard with awkward thumb-toes this whole time, and figured they...
May 21, 2015
chesse20 sez:
Did he have 3 arms the entire comic or did he just grow a third one in this part of the comic
May 21, 2015
chesse20 sez:
Doom is extremely easy to work with and requires no knowledge of coding or a tutorial in order to...
May 19, 2015
Frimpinheap sez:
The person likes Unity because HE is making something in Unity. He hates Doom because he made...
May 19, 2015
Frimpinheap sez:
At this point I want to know as little about unity as possible since I already have at least...
Previous updates
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • December 2004
  • May 2007
    April 2007
    March 2007
    February 2007
    January 2007
    December 2006
    November 2006
    October 2006
    September 2006
    August 2006
    July 2006
    June 2006
    May 2006
    April 2006
    March 2006
    February 2006
    January 2006
    December 2005
    November 2005
    October 2005
    September 2005
    August 2005
    July 2005
    June 2005
    Maypril 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005
    January 2005
    Novcember 2004
    October 2004
    September 2004
    August 2004
    July 2004
    Maune 2004
    April 2004
    Febrarch 2004
    January 2004
    December 2003
    Octvember 2003
    Augtember 2003
    Junly 2003
    Maypril 2003
    Febrarch 2003
    Octnovdecjan 20023
    Junulgustember 2002
    Maypril 2002
    This never happened


    old webpages
    Mall Meh...ness
    03-03-2007
    Labyrinthy
    02-22-2007
    Cartoons
    12-10-2006
    Ludicrous
    07-01-2006
    I do not approve.
    06-04-2006
    irrational complaining about my television set
    04-24-2006
    Dennises are dead to me
    04-17-2006
    web-tv
    04-08-2006
    This page is not about shoes.
    03-22-2006
    I hate shoes.
    03-11-2006
    something award related
    03-04-2006
    Bahrg.
    02-26-2006
    Those Green Eyes again
    01-28-2006
    More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
    01-15-2006
    MeSpace
    11-EH-2005
    Biggest Loser
    10-EH-2005
    Mall Blandness
    07-20-2005
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    01/05/05
    Belindi
    11/03/04
    Mall Egadness
    09/22/04
    Las Vegas
    07/30/04
    Spiderman 2
    07/20/04
    Jope and Dopes
    06/27/04
    These Green Eyes
    04/24/04
    Friday
    04/01/04
    Wedding
    03/07/04
    Game Over
    03/02/04
    McDenny's
    01/09/04
    Mall orneryness
    01/06/04
    Movies I'm not going to see
    11/14/03
    Back fashion school to
    09/14/03
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    06/14/03
    JList
    06/03/03
    France
    03/31/03
    Official pizza of Nascar
    03/16/03
    Browsers
    02/23/03
    Michael Jackson
    2/16/03
    Free Speech
    02/05/03
    Thursday
    01/23/03
    Doofs
    01-whenever-03
    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same