Artwork
Exhibitions
Web-log
Comic strips
Animation
About page
icon4 icon19 icon7 icon10 icon16 icon19 icon25








Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
November 30, 2009
Wow! The Global Gladiators are way awesome!

Tue’s day: I just realized I forgot to do the “alarm” color overlays as I did last time. Eh.

———————————————————-

page 34 of Aw Beans: A Beet Street High Seas Adventure Starring Lorna Doone and Dinty Moore

This one features some of the worst inking I’ve ever done. I’m really not getting any better at it. However, I am getting very good at wasting time/ink adding needless black shadow-lines that I have to remove after I scan the deal because it makes everything look burnt once it is converted from gray to black-and-white and actual color gradations are added. Whoopth.

The dimensions of that room and its relationship with the hallway continue to change. I grow weary of its rebellious ways and will tolerate them not much longer.


My scanner needs to be fixed/replaced, but this sort of thing hardly seems worth the trouble.



November 26, 2009
This Sunday ABC plays host to an event that’s gonna make the whole country go country


Why does the Red Robin need to ride around in a dirigible? Birds can fly on their own. Get to work, bird! More importantly, why is the passenger chamber an enormous, hollowed out hamburger? What is keeping the pieces together? Not a sense of unity inspired by strong leadership, definitely. I’ve seen that facial expression on an incompetent aviator before.


Here is a clearer view I found on the website for the crooked masterminds supposedly [ir]responsible. First of all, COKE BOTTLE PROPELLERS! More importantly, what business has this confessed commie flying the stars and stripes? American robins are not robins at all. They are thrushes. Therefore, one way or another this lofty Leninist is a feathery fraud. How could anybody trust it?
It’s bad enough that this treasonous pteranodon advocates factory bred livestock meat consumption, but using its product to construct your personal chariot is just decadent and probably more than a little bit gross.

Even the person who ordered that this television box be installed in the FLOOR thinks you’ve gone too far. I reckon.

Additionally, beef is one thing (or rather, many, many things whose constant production dooms our planet), but this egomaniacal erithacus has, in a move that surprises me less and less these days, sold out some of its other feathren…


“Clucks!” The chicken fingers are called “clucks!” They were good tasting chicken fingers, but if I at any point heard one CLUCK I might have felt the need to CHUCK. See also: actual chicken fingers.

But hey, what ho*: free refills on so. Da. I will deliberately abstain from soft drinks when I know I will be attending an appropriate dining facility so that I can better make use of such unlimited imbibement potential. Of course, for 2.39 I could probably buy half a case of the stuff and drink it at my leisure rather than all at once, and spare myself the carbonation sickness for the remainder of the evening, but this is one of few areas in which I am capable of “showing off” to others, and so I will take it, because I have a sad and empty life. This and eating the pickle chips that come with my french fries. In fact, if I don’t get any I will ask for some. I like pickles with my french fries. What I don’t like: morally mishapping plumed passerine poltroons.

You agree with me, don’t you?


*I am no ho.



November 23, 2009
Tonight’s a jazzy night

Ha, I finally get people to look at this page and then I disappear for a week and a harf. Ha, I laugh at my own remarks that aren’t even jokes. You will believe there are still moderately expensive hotel rooms in this country without easily accessible internet. You will also believe that I never needed an excuse that good. Here, have a fox at war. Nevermind why, for the moment.


You may be pleased to know I actually had this done last Tuesday but couldn’t be bothered to make even as lazy an update as this out of it. Also, I only realized now after printing this out and giving it to a fellow that there was a big pink streak from where I had moved the edge of the tank bullet (that’s what the large shiny thing is) and forgot to fill in the vacated space. And then I fixed it and for the first time ever saved the little internet version COMPLETELY over the big version that I make prints from right just now. I can restore it from my flash drive duplicate, but it’s the botch that counts. Thankfully, that is not the most disgraceful thing I allowed to happen over the week-end and surrounding territories. That would have been a disappointment, I think. I always bring enough gaffes for everyone.



Some people insist on enjoying themselves anyway.



November 14, 2009
Holy highbrow! The art museum!

11-18-2009
I will be going to Chicago on Friday and returning to Not-Chicago on Monday. I suppose I should have told you sooner.

dopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopesdopes

Now, I’m sure this is a GOOD can opener, but one accomplishes that merely by carrying out its stated, titular function of opening cans. Once the cantents have been exposed to our cruel, food spoiling air, there isn’t a whole lot to distinguish the very best there ever can be throughout all time from the merely adequate for right now. For all I know THIS is the best can opener ever. It provides every bit as much evidence to support the claim.
My old can opener was not as good. Do you know why? You will in a moment, unless you stop reading right around here, and I can’t blame you since I’m talking about can openers. My old can opener was bad because one of its gears and the plastic coverings for its handles broke off. Thus, it could not be used to open cans. This new one passes that basic test. Therefore it is an engineering miracle?

That sounds like a yes. And so, even if this wonder can-opening can opener ceases to exist and another inherits the position of best in the world, there will never, can never be another best ever. Why don’t you think about that.

Nevermind. You don’t need to answer. Unless you were going to, in which event I am curious as to how you might respond, but I suspect you weren’t going to, and so you need not even bother not minding. You need not even submit to the brain wave-eating machine.


Does anybody actually do this? Or does my lack of a left side right hand indicate that I am not meant to understand?

I gather that it also helps to carry a stove burner on one’s head. Perhaps this is a heat-off/bacony squiggle-off, a challenge at last to our foul robotic overlords’ claim that they can do everything better than us. I lament that my head cannot attempt such acts of valiance. Maybe in its earlier days, but now it has a torso and limbs to support. The one in the example is young and reckless, with, it thinks, nothing to lose. An all too common and all too tragic situation. But there is hope! Do not curse your condition! It is only natural! Do not make the mistakes so many others have!

The full story is that Regis Philbin doesn’t think he has enough money yet despite nearly fifty years of paid television appearances, supposedly having been filmed more than any other person, as certified by an Irish beer brewing company that is one of few enduring cultural presences older than Regis. As for Kelly Ripa, she also has a funny name.



November 8, 2009
My racist games will not only have some that are bloody and fun to play but I am also creating games for kids also.

Much like last month, I soon will go somewhere that I need to prepare for and am horrible at preparing for. As far as I know I have no such place to travel to next month, which means I will be very unprepared.



Evidently Stop & Shop has further to go on its journey to not be Brand X than I thought. This doesn’t even come with RIP.

I say, what a GYP. Gyp, incidentally, I was surprised to learn does not have its origin in racism or prejudice.

The council is still undecided on this Whac-a-mole stand artwork. I hesitate to type “whackkk-a-mole” because the official trademarked name does not include a K, but my hesitation was merely a moment to pause and reflect, and in this situation you may find that I went ahead and did the deed anyhow.




The Guaranteed Value squad I thought for certain would win the blandness war. It found a way to make carrots less exciting. Isn’t it kind of neat that they come from the GROUND, growing out of a tiny little SEED? It would be if it didn’t take months to happen. Yef, that’s right, I’m on to you, CARROTs. Somebody finally had the courage to stand up to root vegetables. I know you’re in this with the beets. Soon I shall send my champions to destroy your stronghold.


We really are in trouble, aren’t we.

I thought this entry was longer than this. Whoopth. Does anyone have suggestions for lengthening it?

Nobody? Goodnight, then.



November 3, 2009
It’s a shot in the dark that hits the heart

I should make another site update soon. I can’t wait to see if I do! I am physically incapable of waiting for that. And so I will do something else. I can’t wait to find out what that is. And so I must do something else. This system could be a problem.

000000000000000000000000000000000000

Gouache is a sort of paint that I thought about recently. I misspelled its name in a google box, though. For that I was punished with a page from “urbandictionary.com” which I would rather have not glimpsed the excerpt from. Why don’t the stupid BING.com ads latch on to that? The people in those ads say stuff about raccoons and Venice that are interesting or at the least informative, not gross-sounding names for gross-sounding body parts which as far as I can tell and am grateful for nobody actually refers to in such a way. Oh!


Dearest Microsoft: Me making fun of google does not mean I’m looking for a replacement. You of all respectable businesses should realize and be grateful that I won’t be swayed by a flashy bit of dumbed down competition over a few moments of weakness. And isn’t it enough, besides, that I use your dopey hard drive index search in Windows?

I don’t want a “decision engine.” I make my own decisions. Like when I decided not to use BING oh ho ho. I’m too tired to make this interesting but I want to complain about it today. I also want a quesadilla.


ME ROBOT. ME GIVE LIGHT. CLOCK NOT GIVE LIGHT. ONLY ME GIVE LIGHT. I PROTECT YOU FROM BUY CLOCK.

I don’t know that I would want this lamp. It has an interesting look to it, but if I imagine that the light source itself is the head of some being, staring downward, constantly. I’ll always feel like it’s judging me. You do not control my life, lamp!


Its arms seem capable of grasping things, such as pencils and receipt size pieces of paper, which fully justifies giving it arms. Despite these astounding innovations, the makers of robot desk lamp wisely assumed that might not be enough for some people and that they would soon be awash in lawsuits if they did not point out that paper and pencils are not included.


HEY, I bought this because I needed a lamp and a pencil AND a receipt size piece of paper like the picture on the box but now I only have a lamp! What the gives!
Certainly, I reckon it can hold things besides pencils and small pieces of paper. I reckon it could also hold a crayon and an envelope if that was the sort of thing you were into. At least that is what I reckon. I reckon you did not reckon on my championship reckoning skills.

I also just noticed that the description on the back of the box refers to the lamp with masculine pronouns like “him” and “his.” That amuses me, and I see no value in griping about it.


HIM. THIS.


THEM HER THEM!

HER THEM THEM!!!

The Three Men and a Baby cast reunion held more surprises than anyone could have anticipated.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: August 18, 2017
Charmlatan sez:
I only pay into Cyclope’s pledge for their exclusive Pr├ęgoo drawings!
August 18, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
Crying in a bad way? Based on what? Because of my actions or my summarization of others’...
August 18, 2017
Anonymous sez:
this is the first time this website made me cry instead of laugh. once in a while there was a...
August 17, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
I am merely not declaring it impossible, since I have very little taste for it and do not seek...
August 17, 2017
Indighost sez:
That sounds like you’re hinting at some rare fan works that you think is good! I’d...
August 17, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
I would not unilaterally say all fan-created material is bad, but I do almost consistently...
Less recent posts
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • December 2004

  • May 2007
    April 2007
    March 2007
    February 2007
    January 2007
    December 2006
    November 2006
    October 2006
    September 2006
    August 2006
    July 2006
    June 2006
    May 2006
    April 2006
    March 2006
    February 2006
    January 2006
    December 2005
    November 2005
    October 2005
    September 2005
    August 2005
    July 2005
    June 2005
    Maypril 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005
    January 2005
    Novcember 2004
    October 2004
    September 2004
    August 2004
    July 2004
    Maune 2004
    April 2004
    Febrarch 2004
    January 2004
    December 2003
    Octvember 2003
    Augtember 2003
    Junly 2003
    Maypril 2003
    Febrarch 2003
    Octnovdecjan 20023
    Junulgustember 2002
    Maypril 2002
    This never happened


    old webpages
    Mall Meh...ness
    03-03-2007
    Labyrinthy
    02-22-2007
    Cartoons
    12-10-2006
    Ludicrous
    07-01-2006
    I do not approve.
    06-04-2006
    irrational complaining about my television set
    04-24-2006
    Dennises are dead to me
    04-17-2006
    web-tv
    04-08-2006
    This page is not about shoes.
    03-22-2006
    I hate shoes.
    03-11-2006
    something award related
    03-04-2006
    Bahrg.
    02-26-2006
    Those Green Eyes again
    01-28-2006
    More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
    01-15-2006
    MeSpace
    11-EH-2005
    Biggest Loser
    10-EH-2005
    Mall Blandness
    07-20-2005
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    01/05/05
    Belindi
    11/03/04
    Mall Egadness
    09/22/04
    Las Vegas
    07/30/04
    Spiderman 2
    07/20/04
    Jope and Dopes
    06/27/04
    These Green Eyes
    04/24/04
    Friday
    04/01/04
    Wedding
    03/07/04
    Game Over
    03/02/04
    McDenny's
    01/09/04
    Mall orneryness
    01/06/04
    Movies I'm not going to see
    11/14/03
    Back fashion school to
    09/14/03
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    06/14/03
    JList
    06/03/03
    France
    03/31/03
    Official pizza of Nascar
    03/16/03
    Browsers
    02/23/03
    Michael Jackson
    2/16/03
    Free Speech
    02/05/03
    Thursday
    01/23/03
    Doofs
    01-whenever-03
    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same