Artwork
Exhibitions
Web-log
Comic strips
Animation
About page
icon4 icon19 icon7 icon10 icon16 icon19 icon25








Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
December 30, 2010
Not all the birds are to be trusted, and there are other spies more evil than they are

——————————

Tuesday, january 4: here I go, and by krimpet I mean it this time. I should have updated the thing before I left but it wouldn’t have been very good and I reckon you’ll not see even this for a while after it goes here!

——————————-x/x/x/x/x

With a new year come new absences of content.

===============================

page forty…one? of this. Hey, remember this? Neither do I. I also don’t expect my rate of completion will improve much as long as I’m putting 45 stupid little characters on each page and insisting on coloring them like they matter.

Annnd… well that’s over then. I’ll see you in April!



December 27, 2010
flip on the telly, wrestle with JIMMY!

Like every money taking object in the school vicinity, coke products are sold here. they actually cost more than the coke from the vending machine

Tuesday, December 7, 2010: I was operating a chair at the table outside the crampus book store, awaiting a visitor who owned an automobile who would retrieve me from the location. Before that happened, an oafy fellow almost walked by, glanced at me, stopped and oh-so-secretly slid this bookmark thing over to me,
while speaking “we buy textbooks.” No “hello,” no “excuse me are you interested in hearing what we do?” Just “we buy text books.” I responded “that’s good to know.


I think they sell them in there” while gesturing toward the store. The fellow re-respont “okay, but we buy text books.” Hey guy, I buy textbooks too. You haven’t made any great accomplishment. That guy doesn’t even know what he’s saying. He has no backup plan for if his routine is interrupted and is incapable of improvising pertinent words. He can only say what he’s been programmed to say. He is scarcely a human being. Assuming he’s looking to RE-buy MY books, It is worth noting that my ownership of any was not evident at the time; I had none in front of me and indeed did not even bring any with me that day. And so I have noted it.

Anywhy, the book store. I try not to spend too much time in there because the sound system is usually playing Aerosmith songs. They play Aerosmith songs because they don’t want me to spend time in the store. But I’ll show them! I don’t go in there anyway because I don’t read books! Sometimes I’m too smart for ’em. Yeah, just today Em told me not to fly the house during the tornado but I’m going to do it anyway.

All I want to do is eat all day. But they also sell snacks. Ahhhhhh naw!

But they don’t sell GOOD snacks! Haaaaa meeeaw! But I had to taste them to realize they were bad! Nuuuuuuuu pogodi!

Corn nuts are really bland and it’s impossible to eat them quietly. And then an hour or so later I’d just about finished them and I never wanted to eat one again. But don’t let me dissuade you, please. If you’re really curious about corn nuts I highly recommend that you dump salt on some gravel and put it in your mouth.


I also purchased this because I only make personal sacrifices when they benefit nobody, and I had neglected to bring my customary bottle of water to the universe city that day, besides. Having sampled products by this company in the past I figured it would be LIKE water enough to serve as a substitute. It was, but entirely the wrong kind. LIFE WATER. Urk, awful, urkful. It was like somebody had pumped a syringe full of Robitussin into one of those free lollypops they give away at the bank and jammed it up my nose without stopping to regard the partition between my nostrils. How was this possible? 0 sugar, 0 sodium… ARTIFICIAL SWEETENETERS! Aw blast, why are companies not required to list THAT piece of trash on their nutrition percentages in a place where I’d bother to look? This tea is VILE.

I’d oblige you to leave me out of this, thank you. Oh like you’re so polite.

Instead of getting you to drink more by dehydrating you or getting you addicted to caffeine, this one keeps you coming back just because the fresh liquid is the only thing chasing the awful temporarily out of your flavor center.
I was thinking, which I do sometimes, “I COULD buy something sugary, but I had iced tea yesterday… oh gee look this has no sugar in it! That’ll make everything hunky dory*.” I don’t know if it’s Stevia or Splenda, but the first one sounds like it’s made of pieces of Steven Seagal and Stephen Baldwin and the other just sounds like it’s too proud of itself so obviously neither is acceptable. Whose idea was this?


Arrrrd that wasn’t clever!



That’s where it was going eventually anyway. Do you know what this MEANS? I do NOT throw food away. More importantly I don’t throw chemically concocted calorie vessels away, either.

This is the sort of stuff I collect at a buffet.

What a dreaded mixture of components to leave me unable to finish!


I eats to the finish and nothing less than an enormous floating torso of a blue haired lady will keep me from it under normal circumstances.


*the actual hunky-doriness of the language I used may be called into question



December 17, 2010
Note: The plot and character development of Kirby’s Avalanche is considered non canonical.



Everybody’s so irritable! I swear that I am working on many things. Some of them are even trivial enough to be pertinent to this website.

——————————————————

december 25:

Aw naw, I forgot we were doing Christmitz again this year.

——————————————————



All I want to do is eat, all day.

Healthy Way snacks! A healthy way is a good way to eat all day.


However, if you’re selling Jerky, Pringles and COMBOS you should NOT be allowed to use this logo.

The last time I bought combos was, according to my notes, January 2007. I have forgotten how I determined this. I’ve been putting off this dumb story for three years.

I purchased the COMBOS at a Walgreens. It was a mistake, but most of my Walgreens purchases are, and looking over the receipt afterward did lead me to a startling revelation: the Combos were actually on sale and I paid half as much as I thought I had, and most of the price had been the M&Ms I also purchased. But also, some items listed on the receipt were followed by an asterisk. I looked further down and redeemed the asterisk for knowledge that these items may be purchased with food stamps. Food stamps may be paid toward the purchase of COMBOS. Do not buy Combos with your food stamps. Food stamps are for food. Combos are not food. They are scarcely a snack. They are a science experiment. Considering that they already imply meat with the pepperoni pizza flavor, it would not be out of turn for Combose to develop a laboratory animal flavor.

I meant to scan the receipt and show it, but I didn’t, and then two weeks later I was getting mad at all the paper on my “desk” and that one especially bothered me because I could think of no reason why I had kept it, long since having consumed any mistakes I may have hoped to get petty refunds for. These are my struggles.

And then three months later, Friday, May foist, also 2007, also specifically documented, I found out that I qualified for food stamps. For some reason I was ashamed, even though they do make America stronger and white supremacy sites direct link to images I can change into pictures of Olmec and posterior-wiping cartoon frogs. I was ashamed, but then I realized I could buy soup. Anyway, time to get me some combos.


The strange power of combos is that as soon as you admit you eat them you feel really bad. Not as bad as you physically feel immediately after eating them, thankfully.



This NEVER happened. Not even ONE TIME. Was anybody fooled by this shot of a knife supposedly spreading the filling over, and somehow into the pretzeline tube? Even if that was physically possible they’d still make a robot do it. You’re more likely to find actual apple-based content in a box of Apple Jacks. You’d be more likely to find a jack in there. I used to like combos a lot when I was 11ish or so, but even then I couldn’t eat the default “cheddar” flavor. Something was never quite right there.


Combos do more harm than good. Consuming them has degenerated my motor skills to the extent that this is the best pertinent Street Fighter 2 screenshot I can stage even while controlling both players.

This one doesn’t count because it’s from one of the numerous forgotten early 1990s Street Fighter 2 spinoffs Capcom made to get out of having to make a definitive “3” in the series, Street Fighter II: Championship Obstetrician.

I’m not good at this game, either.




December 10, 2010
Yokels

My pictures have way too many clouds in them.

I wondered why I hadn’t colored anything like this in a while. Then I remembered.

I am sensitive to imagery depicting harm coming to eyes, and seem to have become moreso between when the pencil drawing happened and when I made it computery, because I recall trying to insert additional cheek shielding, but I failed.



December 9, 2010
20 new feats, 12 new classes, 6 new domains, 75 new spells and 12 new monsters all wait in the pages of the Book of Erotic Fantasy

I’m not surprised that this place was raided by police. Only because it was for selling stolen goods and not for stuffing dead bodies inside mattresses. That at least explains how they were able to sell the things for one dollar.

==================================
Hey, Thursday the 16, how are you feeling today?

Well you’ll just have to wait some more, thursday!
=================================

Now that I have time to attempt to make nice things I am too cold to do that. I have, however, stopped cracking my knuckles, in case you didn’t notice.

================================

I ought to preface this with the comical sound effect “nsfw”.


This means “not safe for work.” Evidently goofing off while on salaried time is permissible as long as there aren’t any nipples involved. Unfortunately, if you are in a field of work like bullfighter, broken glass juggler or piranha plant farmer which is inherently unsafe anyhow, you should be warned about using your on-the-job internet for this. People who do not work may not look under any circumstances.

Personally, I have to disagree with the necessity of this sort of notification, at least for the specific context of what I’m doing here. If anything, you’ll find it repulsive enough to turn away sooner than you ordinarily would and maybe actually get something done. And so:



I’ve been asked at least 0 times if various characters that I have been rumored to draw pictures of are male or female. My answer is usually “no” but in actuality I leave people to determine whatever suits them best, in the absence of any hard (ha uh) evidence one way or another way because this is important to them? I have in possession a picture, that at last proves that elpse, the green imp, is…

really ugly. We don’t learn anything new about nemitz. Just as cooperative as usual. Don’t you know, nemitz only associates with ducks and toilets.

This seems to be from an anonymous group picture drawing session, but I think I know who did the first one; I only know one person who draws hands like that who would also dare to draw a dumb nemitz. I’ll be more specific some other occasion.
Or maybe just the next time I get googly curious about meeplesworth, which is associated with ever more prestigious topics.


My initial suspicion was that this person provided a link to explain what the creature was and whoever added the second character hadn’t actually any idea what it was. Almost certainly for the best.


What I’m curious about is the third party who saw the picture and identified the depicted parties collectively as “bimshwel.” I didn’t think anybody associated these dumb imps with the website I pay for, (apart from their current presence in the main page’s header, but nobody comes to the main page) rather than the sites I use for free and post pictures of these on. Such as, for example, the last time I ended up there. I don’t even call them “bimshwel.” I’m not complaining, though; I’d never have found it at all if nobody had cared to drop one of my obsessive google keywords somewhere on the page and it was just about the best laugh I had the whole day I found this. I catalog and rate all my laughs because I am a miserable person.

You could argue that the challenger isn’t supposed to be an elpse at all due to the wrong horns and uncharacteristic scrotum-like object beneath the neck and the grotesque nipply fat-sacs about the chest region and you’d have a very solid argument. Congratulations.

I spoke briefly with the artist and he informed me
well it started to be a cute pic and suddenly… oh well it’s always got a good ambiance there.
He denied any knowledge of the second creature, only submitting that he thought it was supposed to be a cow. Well for all we know it’s actually an eagle.

My hope, however, is that it’s The Skinny Cow.

That’s the only anthropomopized cow in the history of illustration to not have a horrendous, prominent pink udder so… well now it has… hey, wait a minute!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBOLOADING

You’re so proud of yourself, aren’t you!



December 3, 2010
The love song “Everytime We Touch” introduces the couples of Dynasty Warriors and the true romance of the Three Kingdoms.

I don’t believe it! Six whole entries without a picture from inside a restroom.

Aw naw!

Did somebody REALLY try to throw away a credit card in an airplane toilet? And how about the bottle? That’s ridiculous!

Oday… that’s a considerable improvement, actually. There’s still work to do but you’ll get it with time, I think.

NO, not that kind of time. I don’t like that they’re equating waste-passing with parties.

And again, I think you’re using it the wrong way anyhow. Although I’m told the best parties actually end with one’s face in the latrine, making for a true, united potty time, I don’t get invited to parties so I am disqualifying it.

I don’t want to THINK about what the yellow emoticon is doing on the toilet, much less why it’s getting such euphoria from it. The least sinister thing I can think of is that it found somebody else’s credit card, but honestly then the thing’s just a scumbag.


I have plenty of those already! At least this coconutwit is choosing better company these days.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: April 24, 2017
Charmlatan sez:
Finally, I can see the pogo trio in the animation they were made for. Quite wonderful.
April 21, 2017
charmlatan sez:
A true mark of a comic is when it retcon events or characters. well done! These have been...
April 18, 2017
Purplespace sez:
The purple creature has a nice shade of purple!
April 18, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
I can tell you outright elpse and nemitz have the exact same body. That was a very early,...
April 18, 2017
Indighost sez:
I tend to think of nemitz and elpse as variant primates. Lope is more distinctly reptilian
April 18, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
Thank you for liking the page! I only had to know that I meant the figures to be cat-like! And...
Less recent posts
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • December 2004

  • May 2007
    April 2007
    March 2007
    February 2007
    January 2007
    December 2006
    November 2006
    October 2006
    September 2006
    August 2006
    July 2006
    June 2006
    May 2006
    April 2006
    March 2006
    February 2006
    January 2006
    December 2005
    November 2005
    October 2005
    September 2005
    August 2005
    July 2005
    June 2005
    Maypril 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005
    January 2005
    Novcember 2004
    October 2004
    September 2004
    August 2004
    July 2004
    Maune 2004
    April 2004
    Febrarch 2004
    January 2004
    December 2003
    Octvember 2003
    Augtember 2003
    Junly 2003
    Maypril 2003
    Febrarch 2003
    Octnovdecjan 20023
    Junulgustember 2002
    Maypril 2002
    This never happened


    old webpages
    Mall Meh...ness
    03-03-2007
    Labyrinthy
    02-22-2007
    Cartoons
    12-10-2006
    Ludicrous
    07-01-2006
    I do not approve.
    06-04-2006
    irrational complaining about my television set
    04-24-2006
    Dennises are dead to me
    04-17-2006
    web-tv
    04-08-2006
    This page is not about shoes.
    03-22-2006
    I hate shoes.
    03-11-2006
    something award related
    03-04-2006
    Bahrg.
    02-26-2006
    Those Green Eyes again
    01-28-2006
    More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
    01-15-2006
    MeSpace
    11-EH-2005
    Biggest Loser
    10-EH-2005
    Mall Blandness
    07-20-2005
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    01/05/05
    Belindi
    11/03/04
    Mall Egadness
    09/22/04
    Las Vegas
    07/30/04
    Spiderman 2
    07/20/04
    Jope and Dopes
    06/27/04
    These Green Eyes
    04/24/04
    Friday
    04/01/04
    Wedding
    03/07/04
    Game Over
    03/02/04
    McDenny's
    01/09/04
    Mall orneryness
    01/06/04
    Movies I'm not going to see
    11/14/03
    Back fashion school to
    09/14/03
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    06/14/03
    JList
    06/03/03
    France
    03/31/03
    Official pizza of Nascar
    03/16/03
    Browsers
    02/23/03
    Michael Jackson
    2/16/03
    Free Speech
    02/05/03
    Thursday
    01/23/03
    Doofs
    01-whenever-03
    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same