Page 12 (eventually, scroll down I advise) of that.
The imagery is somewhat underdone because my mouse sustained injuries recently and evidently lacks the strength to complete most left button presses. I actually subconsciously started to feel bad for the miserable thing and would highlight commands with the cursor and press Enter instead. I’m assuming nobody cares what the interior of the lizard’s “car” looks like, nor the laws of perspective it violates.
With this the last of the initial drawings from 2001 are covered. I’m not sure if I beat the deadline to hide them all before they were fully ten years old, but fortunately I suspect you don’t care about that, either. So now we are getting into the remakes of the remakes. The new pictures aren’t totally necessary, but they must change slightly to accommodate more competent and less fonty word layouts. Yes and also the fact that the next few pages are mildly illogical in their current forms despite being themselves attempts to amend a not-quite-sensical script. It’s sort of like when you build a new bridge to replace an old one but people still drive on the old one and you can’t just take it down altogether for a decade or so, and build the new one next to the old one, in a less ideal spot, meaning it will never be as good as it could have been. It’s not like that at all in the respect that my old comics get very little traffic. Ha ha, like car traffic on the bridge.
I blame the previous paragraph on my broken mouse also. I have the power. What’s important is that there are no ten year old drawings left. Just seven year old drawings. Don’t tell me I began the task of replacing the ten year old drawings three years ago. I already know that. I just said so.
I sort of posted that, but then hid it because I wasn’t sure if it was interesting or not. Now I have had time to think about it and have decided that it isn’t, and I appreciate the closure. Yes so they took some annoying thing that had been floating around the internet for a few years and decided “let’s make this everyone’s problem suddenly and think ourselves clever.”
Deviantart was really late (by a standard that is for the moment not pertinent to my own variety of lates) to declare “ha ha, NINJAS and LLAMAS!” also, but at least either were funny in one context at one point in time.
Ninja tools, incidootily, are forbidden. The is the first time I haven’t been glad Mitt Romney is not a ninja.
I have never seen the “troll face” symbol –so named because it doesn’t let gruff goat faces cross bridge faces– invoked by anyone I didn’t want to force-feed aluminium foil and detergent cakes. If the troll would only let the goats across they would eat the stuff with less trouble.
In case you’re not acquainted with that particular floating head, then great. Floating heads, in general, are bad news.
Unfortunately, I will explain anyhow. The idea is that since some people get way too visibly upset over stuff that doesn’t matter, nobody else can ever be upset about anything deliberately done to annoy them ever again. If you do then legend has it anyone who is aware of your upset assumes this painful-looking expression and has triumphed in some way.
I’m not mad because you “got” me. I’m mad because you THINK you did and are proud of yourself for it! I’m pretty sure we went over this last time.
Kristof, my personal favorite inside joke is Wanderers from Ys and I would never call that “beloved.” In fact I’m ashamed and we’re estranged. I don’t expect anyone else to find that as funny as I do. They couldn’t possibly and I wouldn’t trust anyone who claimed to.
Inside jokes only work when you’re INSIDE. When you jump on a joke, or really anything that you are outside of and try to make it institutionalized and ubiquitous it’s just obnoxious and annoying.
Like when advertisers started using the phrase “bling” in earnest and later when they used text message jargon ironically. They can’t win. It isn’t their place to do these things. Even if Deviant Art is in some way inside this, and if it IS then I have less respect for it than I did, I most certainly am not in it and I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to see the troll face, I don’t want to see Chuck Norris, I don’t want to see badly drawn Luigi, I don’t want to see Doug bangin on a trashcan or whatever unless I take the initiative to see these things. Don’t act like you’re Marco Polo stepping off the canoe from China with a barrel full of spaghettios, because you’re not bringing me anything special, and in any event I can’t eat mudkips. And unlike a usual annoying internet fad I can hate this on its own non-merit because the idea behind it is inherently antagonistic. A business that operates for profit with thousands of customers is getting behind the bullies among its by and large childishly oversensitve userbase for a reason I can’t fathom. It’s so unfathomable that a page was set up in an attempt to justify and explain the “joke,” which a functional joke oughtn’t need. And now I’m explaining it again. That’s surely even worse.
Hey! Hey! Look! I’m cool! Somebody who can afford to have stuff custom made yanked something another person made off me once! Deviant Art pulling out the troll face and talking about interwebs is like an eight-year-old buying Big League Chew and saying “damn!” a lot. It’s like the gangs from the West Side Story jumping in the air and just shouting “COOL!”
I started to feel silly when an examination of the original image suggested exactly what I’ve been saying, and that I missed the point entirely by thinking it meant the opposite. But that has the exact same effect! You can’t get mad at it because it doesn’t mean what you think it means, even if it’s used in a way which implies that! Deviantart knows its prank is lame and ducks responsibility by admitting the prank is lame!
It’s the “lazy artist” webcomic excuse! But you can’t get mad at it if it means the opposite either, even if it’s used incorrectly by someone who doesn’t understand! Everybody involved has everything both ways and is just as satisfied and insufferable with their deeds!
But then I got distracted when I realized that the “joke” which everybody on the website was subjected to was primarily an excuse to shove merchandise at people.
once you’ve pasted something over Che Guevara’s face and tried to sell it to me for $20 you lose any ground to claim I’ve missed the point.
Why would a business align itself against its whiny customers? To tell them they can be IN on it TOO for a few dollars. I was wrong. Most paying deviant art subscribers wouldn’t be disappointed; consider what they
You could say “no ads,” but this IS an ad, isn’t it! They pay a monthly fee to get a little star next to their name that tells people they pay. They’ll be OVERJOYED for an excuse to give more money.
And then I got further distracted when I saw that troll+face was one step removed from a rape joke
whose most trusted information source was one of the world’s worst websites [that was recently replaced by a website that is worse through being a soulless tepid sellout version of a merely soulless collage of misery that at least was unique in its anarchic approach to archiving anarchy].
Do you remember “rickrolling?” Well I hope not. A rick roll is the third worst roll after tootsie and honor. It was when somebody would post a link to a video and say it would be one thing but it would turn out to be another thing. HA HA! I LIED! Except rather than being something that would personally communicate to me that I had been made a fool of, that was relevant to my existence or that of the link poster or the topic at hand in some way it would just be the same thing that some other mythical idiot deemed was funny. I’m tired of the industrialization of comedy.
Posting a rick roll or a troll face or an oh, really? bird is the same thing as going to Pizza Hut. Sure it’s ubiquitous and successful, but it’s not the best and you should know better. However, unlike relevance, making a pizza is a mildly complicated process. I quit some forklogan’s video game project not because he had no initiative and wouldn’t say one specific thing he wanted done or do anything himself but draw sketchy “concept art” (I SHOULD have…) but because instead of answering me when I asked “so what precisely is it I’m supposed to do here?” he posted a picture of Captain Picard with a hand over his eyes and some serif-fonted caption telling me I was stupid. We go out of our way to make our insults seem mass produced. Sure it’s cheaper than buying a greeting card at Spencer Gifts but it’s still lazy. It’s like the olde myspace fake surveys or those “this user is a:” icons on wikehhhpedia. I wrote a few hundred words on that topic once and luckily for you it didn’t get as far as this. I’d love to receive a handwritten letter that explained in detail why I specifically was an imbecile. I was accused once of being a schnorrer by a post-delivered note but this was typed.
Next time: I don’t make any hint as to what I think I’ll do next time because inevitably it won’t go as I like and I’ll put up something else.
Also, my internet is still awful. Transmission of necessary data is decreasingly possible.
In my mind, “my name is earl” and the show about the guy who moves to stuckeyville and buys a bowling alley had merged and I suspected I was best off keeping them that way. Then a few weeks later I remembered the second show was titled “Ed” and I became depressed.
I forgot completely that bimshwel’s birthday was on the eleven of may. This is probably for the best. It is only nine years old but the sooner it gets used to people not remembering its birthday, the better for it, I think. That also allows me to more easily forget the date permanently, thus averting such awkwardness in the future. This is good in additional ways because I have also not yet permanently forgotten that I specifically chose the 11 because that was the same day my Spam luncheon meat book informed me that Spam luncheon meat was invented on. That sort of thing was important to me ten years ago. I said nine up there but the first year didn’t count. Most people can’t at such an early age. On to more urgent business:
I’m tired of nemitz pretending its name is just “mitz.” It is LYING to you. I can’t stand it. It thinks putting “mitz” into a fancy serifed font makes that factual and official. Guess what, iditwit! Your name isn’t just mitz! In French I might if I understood it say “tu ne mitz pas.” (more accurate would be “tu n’est mitz pas” but it doesn’t look like it should be, does it! (and most accurate would be “tu n’es pas mitz” but I didn’t know that)) I use the informal tu instead of vous not because we’re friends or but because I outrank you. It also does not mean that there are tu nemitzes.
For some baffling reason evidence that there isn’t even one nemitz yet eludes me.
Ne indicates that the statement is negative. As the negativity has already been established it would surely be redundant for pas to also indicate negativity so that must just mean that nemitz is not my father, and so I shan’t be honoring it in June. Its absense on a counterpart occasion in May also proves that nemitz is not my mother, although it possibly then is my older brother, who doesn’t find such arbitrarily declared holidays worth his time. But at least HE has a job and some marketable talents. Nemitz is a worthless layabout with no skills and just as many excuses for not paying homage in buffet form to the being that gave it life. ME. I am your mother, nemitz. How DARE you.
Mitz. MITZ. Do you think you’re Odo of Metz? Odo is a dumb enough name for you to think is good. Incidorkally, Odo is the earliest known to wikipedia architect born north of the alps.
Come now, do you honestly think that helps?
Understand! I’m not mad because you’re getting the better of me! I’m mad because you aren’t but you think you are! And now I will talk about something else!
I have nothing to say to you.
This follows up, as I threatened, on the previous item, in which I seemed to take issue, without specifically saying so, with abuse of the concept of non-sanity for no great purpose. This isn’t very good but it isn’t very long either. I observe that in fictional media it’s common to see the “crazy” depicted as wearing straight jackets, babbling incoherently, getting tossed into cushion-covered rooms and then just being abandoned there.
Showing your less preferred presidential candidate wearing one is a step up from a Hitler mustache in political activism. Just about everybody involved with the previous presidential election has been seen that way by somebody. Except, oddly enough, Joe Biden, the one actually known for being difficult to control. However, he is also the only one that I found in Cabbage Patch doll form.
So eh sure, it can be funny, but let’s not pretend this has any basis in reality. It is a very unfortunate stereotype which I suspect we can attribute to the 1930s era cartoons which too many people use as their sole point of research into the mental health field (also, coincidentally, the 1930s were the last time Hitler mustaches were fashionable). We accept that their depictions of ethnic minorities and non-American cultures are often less than accurate but don’t give much thought to the dated, extreme measures used to restrain the slightly less brain-stable.
I’m glad to say that actual mental health institutions are more compassionate. They’re still pretty boring, though. Unless you have something to read or somebody to visit you you’ll just be waiting around all day while the staff test their medication on you. Well I hope they’re enjoying themselves. Unfortunately, sometimes hospitalization is used as punishment rather than treatment, for even many people in the field of special education regard the students as inferior, almost criminal beings who must be medicated and restrained into compliance rather than fellow humans who aren’t there through their own deliberate action. Or maybe that happened just one time.
The American special education system is most recognized for its funny looking transport vehicles. The reduced size buses used to segregate us problem students from the ones people care about are somewhat degrading, but they are a lot safer than the large buses; their turns aren’t nearly as wide and they have seat belts. In fact the primary reason for their design is just to be more maneuverable. Perhaps we ARE special.
Not that any image conscious child will wear a seat-belt unless commanded to… once they find out the small buses have seat belts the other kids are glad to not be burdened with them. Faha! Who’s smart now? (none of us because I didn’t want to wear seat belts either). Not that it’s possible to be image-conscious when you attend an institution of education on a comically abbreviated bus and everybody knows that you do.
School employees insisted these were not buses at all but rather “vans.” This was very helpful in precisely zero ways, because first of all they are obviously not vans and second of all when I actually started going to schools by vans instead of baby buses it was worse. They had yellow signs on their roofs stating “CARRYING SCHOOL CHILDREN” ostensibly to guilt reckless drivers into reconsidering their state of reck, because one generally drives haphazardly out of misdirected selflessness. It also has the benefit of alerting all literate persons that I must be more messed up than usual if I don’t even rate a funny looking bus. Another few years and I’d probably have to go in a Barbie Power Wheels wearing a bright yellow styrofoam helmet that says “I AM SCHOOL CHILD.”
The students I knew in those old days would call a small bus “the tart cart.” Some of these people rode on it with me. An inspiring example of “owning” one’s derogatory abuse words or a bunch of kids too dumb to realize they’re being made fun of? You eat the fudge. That’s “tart” as in “retart*,” incidibally. Well maybe some of us deserved to be there.
This is actually a trolley with monster truck wheels but people assume it’s a badly drawn bus so it works here. This may be the first time it’s worked!
Unfortunately, I wasn’t born smart enough to figure out the secret to succeeding in art.
*you would not ordinarily eat this kind with your fudge
Get out of my sight!
Monday: I was going to update this today but everything came up.
Also, I evidently broke the internet at my home so this is now more difficult than it was.
my name is finkledy breadcrumb stagecoach mcgandalf