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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
January 22, 2012
Who rocked his chair throughout the match then? Who sniffed and coughed, began to scratch then played with his flag and rubbed his fingers? Then took a walk?

Do you know what I just realized? What? WHO TOLD??!

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I wonder how many times through history we’ve let some Carmen Sandiego-type villain make off with a roman aqueduct or a pyramid just because Interpol tried to go after them without the right warrant.

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I think I would do better on social networking sites if they dropped the social aspect. And the networking, as well. Thus I am here.

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page 48 of this.

I tried using a brush. maybe you can tell. The ink ran out too fast, though. The pen doesn’t hold enough ink and the brush holds even less. Or the same amount but it goes on thicker and thus needs to be redipped sooner. Whenever I DO get faster I decide more things need to have ink on them and so no time is saved.
I was able to reduce the grime by increasing the contrast. I could have done that last time but it removed some of my fainter cross-hatching. This time I realized that faint cross-hatching looks terrible in a digitally colored comic strip so I didn’t do any except when I forgot not to.

In fack this is 48 and a bit of 49 since that last update had a bit of 48 in it. I didn’t do five rows again because I took the art in a direction that doesn’t look good, make sense, or get drawn comfortably, and so I yet ponder the ensuing frames. Whoopth. We won’t be here long. Or they won’t, anyway. It will be four months at the least for us.

It’s just supposed to be a silly diversion before the dorks go where they mean to be going (which is also a silly diversion, since I never wrote an ending), so it shouldn’t take me a week to draw the outside of the building. I thought hey wouldn’t it be funny if I based this on a real place that I went to and just happened to have pictures of? No because nobody who will see this has heard of that place (even I forgot that) and there’s nothing inherently funny about it apart from the name, which I changed, and not even to something that rhymes with the original or that is legible at the size I wrote it. And yet this “page” probably has about the least amount of post-scan line modification I’ve ever had to do, so once I totally lose my ability to reconsider bad decisions, the drawings will be very solid.


Prior to the decision, I couldn’t have spent more than three minutes on this. The ideas are spontaneous but they take so long to draw that I have a lot of time to regret them.

I considered writing “grub hub” on the revised sign, but there is an actual website called that. Here it is being discussed at Chow Hound. I wonder how food dude will weigh in on this.



Oh no, that’s real too! And now that I’ve violated oh so intellectual property of food dude SOPIPA is going to send me to the nibblet gibbet.



January 18, 2012
By the end of the cartoon, though, he had discovered spinach and switched over to it. Whether the story was “real” or whether Popeye was just trying to get his nephews to eat the green veggie is open to debate.

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The thing that is currently blocking wikehhhpedia is really wimpy and easy to turn off. Or am I missing the point? Or does my going to wikipedia with the intent to see what its blocking measure looks like and if I can get around it exhibit a fundamental missing of many potential points of my existence?

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I recently learned that some people were blacking out their internet in protest tomorrow of SOAP, the notorious remover of blessed and peaceful blackness through the centuries. Well it’s about time I say. With that in mind I upload some particularly grimy watercolor objects from last year, confident that as few people as possible will see them. Although I keep up the fight every day by washing my hands in the dark, I’m used to people taking years to catch up to my trendsetting ways.

Notice that neither of these is doing anything but they’re both not doing it in approximately the same fashion, and both deserve our harshest retribution for it. The one on the right is probably only slightly worse.

Every thing it does is an atrocity. Every act is reprehensible. Every deed is dirty. The bow tie animal could be one of the spaceballs. All it does are dirty deeds. This is interfering with my right as a citizen to protest cleanliness. It is outrageous that that THING is still on the streets. I mean, it should be on the streets. It should be tossed out of a window onto a street. Perhaps out of several windows onto several streets, and perhaps motor vehicles will more closely acquaint the animal with the streets. It’s THAT bad. The thing is horrid. HORRID. horr-id. Can it be stopped? I honestly do not know. Every day it gets horribler and horribler. Truly it is atrocious. Can anything really be THAT bad? Yes. But a little stupid animal? Yes. Do not give it any appreciation. Do not even pretend, to get it to shut up. It will not shut up. It’s so dumb it will think you mean that and think that means it should continue talking about its bowtie or its feet or whatever stupid thing it might talk about. You can only win by not letting it win.


How about this: I’ll cut them off and toss them in a field and then you’ll have to find feet. The bowtie animal is a bozo. i would call it a bonehead, but i suspect it lacks a proper skull. It looks too punchable to have a skull, and if it has a brain surely a skull would have prevented the extensive damage which has no doubt occurred. Oh mushrooms I’m over the deadline by a minute. Now I’m a traitor and don’t support not supporting censorship. All because of feet. In fact I do support censorship but primarily of the elements close at feet at hand.

I know pretending I think SOPA is “SOAP” is really lame and obvious. I assumed it was, thinking I might have a decent angle on it. However, I legitimately do wash my hands in the dark and like imposing my weird habits on people. I have showered at least twice. Interpret that sentence any way you like.
This is a primary reason why I talk about pointless topics others don’t care about; I can have all the dumbest jokes to myself and not be concerned what lazy idiot I’ve never heard of already did it poorly and annoyed someone else I’ve never heard of in some never ending, never starting MC Escher gauntlet of unplacatable judgment of crimes which don’t matter (stop me if someone else on the planet has mistaken Escher for a rapper from the 1980s at some point in history). In fact the less people I’m aware of, the less I want to scream at. I’m a worse judge than anyone and can’t handle it very well, since I’d rather not yell at anyone louder than me. Additionally, when I see “hurr” or “derp” in a simulation of another human I lose my ability to consider it in a rational manner.



January 11, 2012
Shasta McNasty

I wrote this in 2010. I never posted it. Or so I say. Look, see, at the url. “http://bimshwel.com/?p=341.” Last week’s was 439. That PROVES that my website entries have numbers assigned to them. I reckon I could repost three solid years of old bimshwellians that I never found occasion to link back to at any point and say I hadn’t already posted them, when I had, but nobody would notice. Likewise if you were to hack into this (I doubt it’s hard) and repost them yourself I wouldn’t notice either.

What does RED mean to ME? I don’t know what it means. I don’t think about stuff that way. I can’t get punched in the nose at Shop Rite and then come home and fling paint angrily at a canvas for three hours and have something I think is great. Red, to me, is just a color which some things are. So I thought of some red things and made a picture with those in it. And then I added other irrelevant, distracting stuff that would confuse people. The person who sent the email said I didn’t have to deal with the THEME if I didn’t want to. Which meant I really had to, now, just to prove that I could. And like usual I figured it would take a lot less time than it did.


Not bad, but not great. I wished I had started sooner, but really the sooner I start working the sooner I start procrastinating. I thought I could pull off something this complicated because before this I made a pixelly version that I thought looked pretty nice.


Well I thought it did. Making computer stuff is considerably easier for me than real stuff. Hence why I did it there, first, but I figured I could copy it well enough. I also probably grossly overestimated how much time New Haven art enthusiasts spend watching the intro sequences to old Sega Genesis games.




Hmmmyes… fascinating.

Well maybe the picture isn’t ideal but it’s good enough. Anyway, this isn’t at the small space gallery like last time.
You remember the small space gallery, don’t you? Well I do. It’s a place that is not really an art gallery at all, it’s somebody’s office with a few pictures stuck to the [evidently incomplete] walls. THIS time, though, my object was going up in the Sumner McKnight Crosby Jr. Gallery. Things are getting a might bit fancy now.

Yaztaplazca! It’s the old switcheroo! I ought to have been fooled by nothing less than the new switcheroo!

Darth Snack Mix returns again. This may even be the same bowlful from last time and nobody dared to move it.



This is actually my third run-in with the snack mix. I didn’t tell you about the second because it must not have struck me as interesting at the time. It seems really exciting now, though.

I think I was the youngest person in there and the only one whose goals were in any way absurd or narrative-y. While it’s nice to not feel old, for once, if the only fellow ar teests who “get” what I do are kids I’d rather be around them than pretentious snobs who honestly think smearing red paint on a rectangle and taping newspaper headlines to it is worth charging $500 for.

I did like this red clock, even if there’s no apparent reason why it should be red as opposed to purple, periwinkle or a normal clock color. I think the label says Michael Johnson. I suppose I ought to have read it at some point. The title of the piece appears to be “Mullet Trap.” Alright so the guy’s name might not be Michael Johnson.

I thought since I had actually painted something and was offering the actual thing I’d made rather than a copy, I should have a proper frame for it, rather than look for a cheap one at walmart that the thing would fit within. The fancy frame would have cost $112 somehow. So I decided not to have a frame. This is but a matte and only cost $24. Much like with my digital prints the bottom edge was cut off, but unlike my prints that is because this is actually for a reason and the person who did it was conscious of where my signature was. I wouldn’t want to bring shame upon the famous E. Cunni by associating it with this anyhow.

That fool has some talent!

Beans that settles it. I’m going somehwere else to get my prints made.

And then I’m coming back again.

I saw this reflected on the inside doors of the elevation chamber when I went to drop this off (the elevator was shiny) and observed that the large figure’s head is incredibly lopsided. Not that it’s turned to one side; it actually appears to be melting. the ears and the eyes are both at different heights. The pine cone is tilted, to the left, the opposite direction that the other stuff seems to be going in. I was trying to compensate for the right shift without realizing it. I don’t have an easel, nor space for one. All “real” things that I do are seen almost exclusively flat on my desk. Distorted. Always. And this thing is going to hanging up until september. Urgik.

I called it “vegnarok” because the only other thing I could think of at the time was “vegarmageddon.” I didn’t realize that invoking ragnarok implied one side was evil. The point here is that both sides are victims. I later decided “Saladnarok” was a much better title and requested that the name be changed, but I apparently only succeeded in altering one letter.



None of these names, in fact, are accurate, because the stuff shown is actually produce; much of what is involved is fruit, but I was not thinking with efficiency, and in any event I couldn’t find some way to work in any part of the word in which it was evident that was the word I had used. “Warduce?” “Broduce vs broduce?” (this was the year before I declared war on “bro”) Nothing good. “Folic Heroics?” “The seeds of war?” Oh that one’s almost clever. “Salad Oppressing?” “You war what you eat” alright that one’s just stupid. I eventually thought of “Ragnarcrop,” but I didn’t like the way it sounded. Which doesn’t make any sense because “saladnarok” puts emphasis on the “lad” which one doesn’t do when pronouncing “salad” unless reciting a poem about fads and doodads (putting emphasis on the lad sounds illegaler than it is).

I also thought of “farmageddon” but a quick google search revealed two different things calling themselves that, one of them a non-existent yet perfectly hypey computer cartoon series based on a comic strip that ran somewhere, allegedly, for two years in the early 90s with a wikipedia page written by the authors four years ago, and I suddenly thought of myself as considerably less clever. The animals talk, though.

I was required to prepare a typed “artist’s statement” in order for the thing to be displayed. I didn’t know how to do that so I supplied this instead.

Hello! I am called Brendan Cunningham. I make pictures sometimes. Many of them can be found on bimshwel.com, which is a website.

I am fond of stupid things happening to stupid looking creatures. I don’t, in general, “understand” art beyond what I immediately see in it, so I avoid attempts at symbolism and “meaning” in my own output as best I know how. You are welcome to your own interpretation, naturally! My primary goal is the amusement of myself and potentially others.

I primarily deal with pixels and other digital nonsense, but I envy those who use paint and ink. I’m only allowed to display one piece here so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to misrepresent myself with a work in a medium I have no experience or comfort with.

In this scene the adherents of beets and the partisans of tomatoes have reached a moment of great potential conflict due to the vile trickery and sculduggery of Pinot Conio, the fiend whose upper portions float menacingly above, violating the laws of physics and perspective, as often occurs in uninspired film posters. My hope is that taking inspiration from the uninspired will overload the uninspiration meter and cause it to register a more favorable reading.

I think you’ll agree that this is incredibly stupid. However, despite it being the first serious thing I’ve ever attempted with this mysterious gouache substance, I am fond of the painting and have thus given it a ridiculous price to discourage any sensible person from purchasing it (I’m kidding, of course; no sensible person would take this for free!).

That’s done! My artist statement! It wasn’t so bad. I was worried I’d get myself in trouble. People are so easily offended in a dumpstervania like New Haven.

I didn’t include the last line.

I was trying to be as sincere as possible without seeming boring. The problem there is that in actuality I am both boring and insincere.
I discovered later that the artist’s statements were not displayed anywhere near the art or indeed anywhere near anything so it would not necessarily be clear what I was talking about when the time came for somebody to see this. So I was boring, insincere and irrelevant. I astound myself.

This is the best painting I have ever done, which would be a significant statement if I had ever made a good painting.

I should stick with acrylic paint, though, I think; that is the paint for indecisive mistake-makers who draw in pencil first. This is gouache. And after four days of looking at it I have a gou-ache.

And I know it’s not pronounced like that but it is spelled like that.

I can’t believe I didn’t put a pumpkin in here. It would have been much more clear than the coconut-with-orange-slices-attached-to-it mace in the upper right quadrant.


Here’s another idea I almost had. I say almost because I never figured out what it potentially might mean. Unless… gah what a fool I’ve been! It all makes sense: the store deliberately priced the frames out of my range to cover-up that nemitz stole them all. Ironic, since it’s impossible to frame nemitz for a crime because anything bad you accuse it of it probably did. The fiend’s already started a war, for beet’s sakes. Alas beet didn’t realize that the war in fact did nothing to improve its own sake. For no obvious reason we have chosen to imprison nemitz inside both the windows 95 pipes and 3d maze screensavers at the same time. It’s good that nemitz is in jail but it never lasts and in any event the crime was still done.

on the positive side I now have one more thing I can do badly.



January 6, 2012
Knight Man (Naitoman) is a Robot Master that, as his name suggests, resembles a knight. He is skilled with a morning star mace. He is a good friend of Yamato Man, and ironically, is weak against his power (the Yamato Spear).

page 47 is it now? Of that, I think it was.
I may be getting a little bit better at ink application. Not better enough, and certainly not any FASTER, but perhaps this means that will eventually be feasible.
It finally occurs to me why comic artists use blue pencils; because it’s a different color from the ink and so selective color detection can automatically remove it. I obviously haven’t used one here. It hasn’t been my experience that colored pencils’ marks are terribly compatible with erasers but I never considered testing it by color. Anyway that won’t do a thing about the grain of the paper or the unending hassle that is layer switching plus the increased save period which makes me reluctant to do it as often which is a terrible idea when using outdated image manipulating software.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
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them`s fightin` woids: October 19, 2017
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Sorry!
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