May 21, 2008

page 20 of this, again grouped with the previous. Can’t get enough of those barren hallways. I suspect the tenth frame requires an additional sentence fragment of clarification or the ninth frame to be drawn differently. I do hope someone will notify me if that is the case.



10 Responses
  1. 1
    1:59 am, May 22, 2008
    Das rote Pferd sez:

    I didn’t find the segment in question particularly difficult to follow, though it might be a bit more elegant if Gorp were more clearly seen returning the frozen treat to in interior of the labcoat.

    It’s curious that Elpse seems to think Nemitz would be at all concerned about the previous wherabouts of the item in question. Indeed, Elpse should be glad that the object of Nemtz’s desire is at least something commonly regarded as edible this time.

    Also, I think “biv” is a more effective pronoun that “zuh”, unless there’s meant to be a deliberate distintion between the two. Incidentally, “ping” is Chinese for “apple”. I think. Significant?

    On a tangential note, how far in advance have you planned this story out? How many “parts” do you foresee?

  2. 2
    9:15 am, May 22, 2008
    Het rode paard sez:

    On second read, I think I’m misunderstanding the Ping aspect completely. Maybe you should tell us what we might be missing so we know whether we’re missing it or not…?

  3. 3
    12:46 pm, May 22, 2008
    Splachtempf sez:

    As I understand it, zuh currently stands in for she or he, but biv has been acting as him or her, but I don’t really understand it. They should probably be more similar.

    Gorp suggests use of a magic wand, seemingly insincerely, then uses a magic wand, but the magic wand is actually an ice cream bar. Perhaps those should be two separate magic wand zaninesses. Or I should see about making a frozen treat which looks more like someone would consider using it as a magic wand.

    There are a few specific word exchanges and corresponding action descriptions with many vague transitions and a few things which I have no idea about (such as a “point” or an “ending”). This stupid hospitarium bit was not planned until it became relevant. Initially the two impoids were to simply walk in the front door and give their letter to someone and receive some sort of assistance.

  4. 4
    1:28 am, May 23, 2008
    Den røde hest sez:

    1. The distinction doesn’t seem to be very well kept to, as earlier in this chapter, both Treco and the newspaper” use “biv” where he/she would appear as well.

    2. I suspected that might be the case with the iced cream. I don’t think any major drawing change is needed; matters could probably be greatly clarified simply by having Gorp say “You’re cured!” or something immediately aftershouting “apple” in Chinese.

    3. It is, however, quite in character for Kumquat to direct the duo to the dumbest hospital in the world simply for the sake of annoying them. From the look of things, though, it seems as if Nemitz could certainly afford some genuine assistance in the very near future, lest zuh/biv fall to pieces on the spot.

  5. 5
    3:10 am, May 24, 2008
    Splachtempf sez:

    1. It’s good to know that it is possible for someone to be paying closer attention than I am. Now I begin to remember that I thought at one point to use “biv” for both situations, so to keep things less complicated, and because neither made less sense than the other. I suppose I could change both zuh and the secondary type of biv to “buh.” But I hope I change them to something other than that.

    2! “Congratulations, you’re better” has appeared. It doesn’t quite fit there, but that’s the closest it gets.

    3? I think you’re going to be rather disappointed at what happens to nemitz soon/eventually.

  6. 6
    4:33 am, May 24, 2008
    The red horse sez:

    How foreboding.

  7. 7
    10:14 am, May 25, 2008
    Kilroy sez:

    He fixes the cable?

  8. 8
    2:02 pm, May 25, 2008
    Splachtempf sez:

    Is this a riddle?

  9. 9
    3:48 pm, May 27, 2008
    zartan sez:

    Treco?

  10. 10
    7:57 pm, May 27, 2008
    Splachtempf sez:

    I confess many of the initial ideas were conceived during the Red Hott Summer of Sammy ’01. What can I say, everyone was doing it. I felt that Treco was an appropriate name replacement for Pico, as in “Pico de Gallo” (oh yes indeed) which still sounded to me too much like a name a real person would have. It is further specified somewhere in my many, many confusing note-oids, that, quote, “Treco” should know someone named “Triffix.”

RSS feed for comments, for they hunger.

Leave a comment. If you want to.

Apparently you can`t preview them, so don`t try anything dangerous.

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

i warned you about this
  • Less recent posts
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • December 2004

  • May 2007
    April 2007
    March 2007
    February 2007
    January 2007
    December 2006
    November 2006
    October 2006
    September 2006
    August 2006
    July 2006
    June 2006
    May 2006
    April 2006
    March 2006
    February 2006
    January 2006
    December 2005
    November 2005
    October 2005
    September 2005
    August 2005
    July 2005
    June 2005
    Maypril 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005
    January 2005
    Novcember 2004
    October 2004
    September 2004
    August 2004
    July 2004
    Maune 2004
    April 2004
    Febrarch 2004
    January 2004
    December 2003
    Octvember 2003
    Augtember 2003
    Junly 2003
    Maypril 2003
    Febrarch 2003
    Octnovdecjan 20023
    Junulgustember 2002
    Maypril 2002
    This never happened


    old webpages
    Mall Meh...ness
    03-03-2007
    Labyrinthy
    02-22-2007
    Cartoons
    12-10-2006
    Ludicrous
    07-01-2006
    I do not approve.
    06-04-2006
    irrational complaining about my television set
    04-24-2006
    Dennises are dead to me
    04-17-2006
    web-tv
    04-08-2006
    This page is not about shoes.
    03-22-2006
    I hate shoes.
    03-11-2006
    something award related
    03-04-2006
    Bahrg.
    02-26-2006
    Those Green Eyes again
    01-28-2006
    More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
    01-15-2006
    MeSpace
    11-EH-2005
    Biggest Loser
    10-EH-2005
    Mall Blandness
    07-20-2005
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    01/05/05
    Belindi
    11/03/04
    Mall Egadness
    09/22/04
    Las Vegas
    07/30/04
    Spiderman 2
    07/20/04
    Jope and Dopes
    06/27/04
    These Green Eyes
    04/24/04
    Friday
    04/01/04
    Wedding
    03/07/04
    Game Over
    03/02/04
    McDenny's
    01/09/04
    Mall orneryness
    01/06/04
    Movies I'm not going to see
    11/14/03
    Back fashion school to
    09/14/03
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    06/14/03
    JList
    06/03/03
    France
    03/31/03
    Official pizza of Nascar
    03/16/03
    Browsers
    02/23/03
    Michael Jackson
    2/16/03
    Free Speech
    02/05/03
    Thursday
    01/23/03
    Doofs
    01-whenever-03
    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    video games
    Runaway Rainbow
    12-29-2008
    Marsupilami part 1
    Marsupilami part 2
    02-12-2007
    Spirou part 1
    Spirou part 2
    05-26-2006
    Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure!
    04-18-2005
    Kirby part 1
    Kirby part 2
    Kirby part 3
    01/23/05
    Dynamite HeaddY
    07/04/04
    McDonald's Treasureland Adventure
    03/21/04
    Pac in Time part 1
    Pac in Time part 2
    02/12/04
    Air Fortress
    07/16/03
    Super Widget
    05/17/03
    Back to the Forest (the skunny page)
    01/21/03
    Tintin and the Prisoners of the Sun
    09/24/02
    Bip Bop II
    2001, a space waste
    Barney's Hide and Seek "Game"
    too late to make a difference
    Moraff's Dungeons of the Unforgiven
    before the one above it
    Super Games Galore! Doy!
    mysterious
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same