Pet products fascinate me, because they are, generally, a total frivolity marketed at the buyer but not the consumer. I do not have pets. I have probably said so before, but I dislike somebody who is needy, erratic, unable to be reasoned with and can never be expected to grow out of that. That job is already taken in my house.
I am jealous of dogs. I have to brush my teeth constantly but dogs just get to eat meat flavored cookies shaped for some reason like pieces of dead bodies and apparently that’s enough.
Ah, wonderful. What can you tell me, Roy?
Lovely. Like what?
Is that so! How does it pertain to this situation.
Please don’t talk to me anymore, Roy.
This bag contains little dogs to feed to your big dog.
Similarly, the anthromoporphic dog here wants to eat his normal dog deputy. I assume. I hope he’s not mouthily lusting over that big peanut on a fork. That would be weird, and then this product would need to be recalled.
If it WAS recalled, and discontinued, that certainly would not be because thousands of people reported that their dogs became sick/dead from kidney failure after eating these things because they were made from imported Chinese poultry meat. The New York state factory just happened to flunk the antibiotic test and the owner has no intention of using meat that does not contain antibiotics (or letting one of its factories outside New York get inspected), because these are legally considered SAFE, in China, even though the investigation only happened because of people reporting that the product was harmful and the discovered health code violation was entirely coincidental. Do you understand? Explain it to me after class.
This is the Nestle corporation, after all. It only inadvertently kills human babies [in the 1970s].
You can also buy Waggin Train products in Canada, because the dogs there really culturally identify with the covered wagon mythos. Also, they are more humble and less likely to complain than American dogs when they get poisoned.
Still, getting back on topic,
It has been my experience that peanuts are weird, at least.
And some peanuts are totally normal and pleasant.
And a reasonable reader would know very well that’s not what I meant and that nobody should do that.
You are atrocious.
RSS feed for comments, for they hunger.
This here`s me trackback!
PurpleSpace sez:
Ol’ Roy has too much time on his hands. I would never bother to take the time cooking meatloaf for a pet dog. That’s just too much effort and they wouldn’t appreciate the addition of celery or “extra fancy” ketchup.
Unless Meat”y” Loaf is somehow different from regular meatloaf. It must be since I don’t remember it coming in a cardboard box.
Dopes for Everyone Committee sez:
Ol’ Roy has a knack for public speaking. Have him as the site’s editor. Sometimes it takes keen and sensibility to figure out the right words when the buck’s on the line. You get me? When you find yourself in a riverbed with no moonshine, that’s when sound editing can tip the scale. So how about it. And when you’re out, grab a dope and give it executive power (no oversight). Do it for the Committee.
Heapinfrimp sez:
“grab a dope?” you talk as if there are big buckets of them, free to consumers, right outside walmart. True enough, if I was looking for a free dope, I would go there, and I certainly would not pay for one, but if I have any dopes already, it is too many.
As for Roy, I will appoint him as ambassador to my advertising robots for now. Not only does he understand their language better, but by virtue of being an actual tangible product for sale the robots, with their imaginary offers for terrible things that won’t even ever be delivered will be shamed by Roy’s presence.
Dopes for Everyone Committee sez:
Fantastic. Buckets of dopes! A Walmart exclusive! We’ll sellout before they can restock! You should go into business!