November 4, 2007

Failure is a way of life.
are you tired of video game clips of people actually playing properly? Are you worn out from seeing neat things get done? Would you like to stare at a tiny little window for ten minutes and see a mystery player bumble around like a fool, while all the while it asks what it’s doing wrong, but utterly preventing you from answering? No, of course not. But if you’re adventurous, I recommend “Let’s play games for the first time…and fail.”
aphasian.info/letsfail/2007/07/18/kirbys-dream-land-3/
It’s like having a younger sibling who wants to play with your fancy toys but just can’t, except now there’s no possibility of improvement. I suppose it’s a step up from “video previews” or “wtf games” or whatever it was called. I love it. Some chump downloads a rom, makes a quarter hearted effort at playing it and then wants a medal for that. Look at me! Vote for my clip! Favv it!

It’s about as entertaining and educational as a dog riding a skateboard, except now the dog keeps falling off the skateboard and we begin to suspect that maybe dogs are not meant to ride skateboards. As someone who won’t even watch the one dog that knows how, I must admit I’m less than impressed. I only watched two videos, so perhaps it’s not fair for me to judge the whole site based on those. And yet, that’s twice as much time as has been spent by it on any one video game. Yeah, figure that out.

It’s a bit like the modern breed of children’s programming where the characters regularly get stumped by simple tasks and then ask me what they’re supposed to do. Unlike Dora, Diego, badly drawn moose and Sand Man’s sickly younger brother (the guy from Blues Clues), the fail-at-video-gamers tend not to assume I said the right answer and so keep failing and asking.

I appreciate the internet’s supposed ability to give a voice to people who would not previously have been able to expose their works to varieties of viewers. Yet it must also be said that some people just are not amusing, and listening to them talk into a microphone for hours on end does not make for a good time.
I’m sure there are some things which would be hilarious to watch someone sincerely fail at constantly, and maybe even some video games, but there is no quality control here. We can’t know which ones are lousy until they’ve already been made, because it’s supposed to be people playing for the first time. I don’t understand why I should watch confessed amateurs fiddle around and give up when I could just as easily fiddle around myself and possibly get something more out of it or, if necessary, give up sooner. It’s not like they’re trying to scale an iceberg, juggle pizzas or throw a pumpkin across the grand canyon or anything else I could not fail at from the comfort of my own chamber.
I don’t know how popular it is, but it shouldn’t have to be for me to get mad at it.
You might as well film yourself eating a bag of fritos. Here are the fritos. I guess these are fritos. Yup. It tastes kind of like a tostito. Wow. Okay. There’s one. I’ll probably eat another one. Oops. I kind of opened the bag the wrong way and they’re starting to spill out. So I’ll adjust the way I hold the bag, then. Whoo. Look at all that sodium. I think that’s a lot. I don’t usually look at the nutrition label, though. 180mg is a lot, right? What is an mg? Gawrsh, they keep falling out. How can I stop them from falling? It must be impossible. Okay, guess I’ll eat a few more and wrap this up. I might eat these again.
It’s a step sideways from the stupid videos of peoples’ heads talking, because those at least tend to be inspired by mildly interesting topics or written out first.


I put this here in September of 2014 because I wrote something which referred to this, but this was too outdated to reword and present in the present as if it was a memory of the pre-present. I initially did not post it because I only found the website I was complaining about when somebody who approved of that posted a likewise approving link to my disapproving page about Kirby’s Dream Land 3 on a video of the game being played consciously poorly, apparently unaware of my criteria for disapproving of things. The moral here is that nobody should ever approve of anything I do.



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them`s fightin` woids: December 6, 2018
Frimpinheap sez:
I know nothing of these “lovable” dopes which you refer to.
December 6, 2018
Bad cow sez:
But why would any upstanding being want to hurt such lovable dopes?
December 5, 2018
Frimpinheap sez:
at some point you will be able to physically assault them. The previous dopes, in fact the...
December 5, 2018
Indighost sez:
The feeling of total confusion and bafflement that this gives me is really new, interesting,...
December 5, 2018
Frimpinheap sez:
I can send them directly but the website that i should be able to sell them through has...
December 5, 2018
spork sez:
tangentially related question: are the copies of the second volume of these comic blocks now...
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