November 4, 2007

Failure is a way of life.
are you tired of video game clips of people actually playing properly? Are you worn out from seeing neat things get done? Would you like to stare at a tiny little window for ten minutes and see a mystery player bumble around like a fool, while all the while it asks what it’s doing wrong, but utterly preventing you from answering? No, of course not. But if you’re adventurous, I recommend “Let’s play games for the first time…and fail.”
aphasian.info/letsfail/2007/07/18/kirbys-dream-land-3/
It’s like having a younger sibling who wants to play with your fancy toys but just can’t, except now there’s no possibility of improvement. I suppose it’s a step up from “video previews” or “wtf games” or whatever it was called. I love it. Some chump downloads a rom, makes a quarter hearted effort at playing it and then wants a medal for that. Look at me! Vote for my clip! Favv it!

It’s about as entertaining and educational as a dog riding a skateboard, except now the dog keeps falling off the skateboard and we begin to suspect that maybe dogs are not meant to ride skateboards. As someone who won’t even watch the one dog that knows how, I must admit I’m less than impressed. I only watched two videos, so perhaps it’s not fair for me to judge the whole site based on those. And yet, that’s twice as much time as has been spent by it on any one video game. Yeah, figure that out.

It’s a bit like the modern breed of children’s programming where the characters regularly get stumped by simple tasks and then ask me what they’re supposed to do. Unlike Dora, Diego, badly drawn moose and Sand Man’s sickly younger brother (the guy from Blues Clues), the fail-at-video-gamers tend not to assume I said the right answer and so keep failing and asking.

I appreciate the internet’s supposed ability to give a voice to people who would not previously have been able to expose their works to varieties of viewers. Yet it must also be said that some people just are not amusing, and listening to them talk into a microphone for hours on end does not make for a good time.
I’m sure there are some things which would be hilarious to watch someone sincerely fail at constantly, and maybe even some video games, but there is no quality control here. We can’t know which ones are lousy until they’ve already been made, because it’s supposed to be people playing for the first time. I don’t understand why I should watch confessed amateurs fiddle around and give up when I could just as easily fiddle around myself and possibly get something more out of it or, if necessary, give up sooner. It’s not like they’re trying to scale an iceberg, juggle pizzas or throw a pumpkin across the grand canyon or anything else I could not fail at from the comfort of my own chamber.
I don’t know how popular it is, but it shouldn’t have to be for me to get mad at it.
You might as well film yourself eating a bag of fritos. Here are the fritos. I guess these are fritos. Yup. It tastes kind of like a tostito. Wow. Okay. There’s one. I’ll probably eat another one. Oops. I kind of opened the bag the wrong way and they’re starting to spill out. So I’ll adjust the way I hold the bag, then. Whoo. Look at all that sodium. I think that’s a lot. I don’t usually look at the nutrition label, though. 180mg is a lot, right? What is an mg? Gawrsh, they keep falling out. How can I stop them from falling? It must be impossible. Okay, guess I’ll eat a few more and wrap this up. I might eat these again.
It’s a step sideways from the stupid videos of peoples’ heads talking, because those at least tend to be inspired by mildly interesting topics or written out first.


I put this here in September of 2014 because I wrote something which referred to this, but this was too outdated to reword and present in the present as if it was a memory of the pre-present. I initially did not post it because I only found the website I was complaining about when somebody who approved of that posted a likewise approving link to my disapproving page about Kirby’s Dream Land 3 on a video of the game being played consciously poorly, apparently unaware of my criteria for disapproving of things. The moral here is that nobody should ever approve of anything I do.



No comments ever.

RSS feed for comments, for they hunger.
This here`s me trackback!

Leave a comment. If you want to.

Apparently you can`t preview them, so don`t try anything dangerous.

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

i warned you about this
  • Less recent posts
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • December 2004

  • May 2007
    April 2007
    March 2007
    February 2007
    January 2007
    December 2006
    November 2006
    October 2006
    September 2006
    August 2006
    July 2006
    June 2006
    May 2006
    April 2006
    March 2006
    February 2006
    January 2006
    December 2005
    November 2005
    October 2005
    September 2005
    August 2005
    July 2005
    June 2005
    Maypril 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005
    January 2005
    Novcember 2004
    October 2004
    September 2004
    August 2004
    July 2004
    Maune 2004
    April 2004
    Febrarch 2004
    January 2004
    December 2003
    Octvember 2003
    Augtember 2003
    Junly 2003
    Maypril 2003
    Febrarch 2003
    Octnovdecjan 20023
    Junulgustember 2002
    Maypril 2002
    This never happened


    old webpages
    Mall Meh...ness
    03-03-2007
    Labyrinthy
    02-22-2007
    Cartoons
    12-10-2006
    Ludicrous
    07-01-2006
    I do not approve.
    06-04-2006
    irrational complaining about my television set
    04-24-2006
    Dennises are dead to me
    04-17-2006
    web-tv
    04-08-2006
    This page is not about shoes.
    03-22-2006
    I hate shoes.
    03-11-2006
    something award related
    03-04-2006
    Bahrg.
    02-26-2006
    Those Green Eyes again
    01-28-2006
    More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
    01-15-2006
    MeSpace
    11-EH-2005
    Biggest Loser
    10-EH-2005
    Mall Blandness
    07-20-2005
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    01/05/05
    Belindi
    11/03/04
    Mall Egadness
    09/22/04
    Las Vegas
    07/30/04
    Spiderman 2
    07/20/04
    Jope and Dopes
    06/27/04
    These Green Eyes
    04/24/04
    Friday
    04/01/04
    Wedding
    03/07/04
    Game Over
    03/02/04
    McDenny's
    01/09/04
    Mall orneryness
    01/06/04
    Movies I'm not going to see
    11/14/03
    Back fashion school to
    09/14/03
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    06/14/03
    JList
    06/03/03
    France
    03/31/03
    Official pizza of Nascar
    03/16/03
    Browsers
    02/23/03
    Michael Jackson
    2/16/03
    Free Speech
    02/05/03
    Thursday
    01/23/03
    Doofs
    01-whenever-03
    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    video games
    Runaway Rainbow
    12-29-2008
    Marsupilami part 1
    Marsupilami part 2
    02-12-2007
    Spirou part 1
    Spirou part 2
    05-26-2006
    Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure!
    04-18-2005
    Kirby part 1
    Kirby part 2
    Kirby part 3
    01/23/05
    Dynamite HeaddY
    07/04/04
    McDonald's Treasureland Adventure
    03/21/04
    Pac in Time part 1
    Pac in Time part 2
    02/12/04
    Air Fortress
    07/16/03
    Super Widget
    05/17/03
    Back to the Forest (the skunny page)
    01/21/03
    Tintin and the Prisoners of the Sun
    09/24/02
    Bip Bop II
    2001, a space waste
    Barney's Hide and Seek "Game"
    too late to make a difference
    Moraff's Dungeons of the Unforgiven
    before the one above it
    Super Games Galore! Doy!
    mysterious
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same