March 11, 2011

Hello there. Busy busy busy.

============================

Don’t read this, but…


Is there something wrong with me for thinking the Super Mario Wiki’s description of Pauline, from Donkey Kong, ‘s physical appearance is really creepy? The one for Princess Toadstool is similarly alarming, but there’s so much more silly rubbish on that page prior to that point you’d be unlikely to come across it unless you were looking for it, for comparison purposes. I can’t even get past the “contents” section. In my case, I had merely taken to wondering what Nintendo had done with D Kong’s preferred kidnap victim since the first game, since I know Nintendo loves to reuse old characters

(except for them), and before I knew what I was reading I had found that. With the princess, her being one of the primary Mario series characters, and this being the internet, it is not surprising that over the years someone with spare wiki-writing time would have developed a weird obsession (in contrast, I failed even to notice that her hair color changed between games). I didn’t think anyone could possibly care about Pauline. The writers are content to state that Mario himself is “a short, plump man.” If I was the sort who got into the businesses of others who have business, I would take it upon myself to edit that page to say something like

Mario is a rotund Italian American. He is approximately three feet tall but can grow to twice this by ingesting a magic mushroom. His mustache is composed of a brown arc with 6 humps along the convex side. He appears to be turning to stone. He often has four fingers on each hand but sometimes has five. The buttons on his overalls serve no apparent function.

I have a follow-up to this but it changes the subject entirely and I have a headache. Wondering what color nightshirt Mario’s father wears isn’t helping. Actually the more I think about it the more I think this information is presented in such a manner entirely as a joke. However, “the more I think about it” is further than that sentence should have gotten because I really should not be thinking about this.



15 Responses
  1. 1
    1:00 am, March 12, 2011
    A Grand Goomba sez:

    Good sir, this is the internet. Such peculiar obsessions should seem par for the course by now, especially considering some of the sites you linger in the vicinity of.

    Am I the only person in the universe who never assumed that Mario ate the mushrooms? I mean, they have eyes; it’s be far too freaky to eat something staring at you the whole time. And he presumably doesn’t eat the flowers or the leaves or especially the feathers and stars, so clearly seizing a powerup is enough to acquire its arcane gifts.

    The buttons, incidentally, generally do appear to serve a clear fastening function in the majority of images. Also, you’ve carelessly revealed the secret of why so few of your characters own proper footwear.

  2. 2
    8:14 pm, March 12, 2011
    Zinkugel sez:

    They are par, but it’s still weird and I don’t play golf!

    A mushroom is the only one that is traditionally thought of as being food, though indeed you may have a valid point.
    I do have a tendency to exlaim “yum!” in a falsetto voice whenever an object in a video game disappears immediately and inexplicably, since I am less bothered by the idea of consumption as spontaneous non-existence. However, indeed this does not come up with most mario objects, since they tend to make him change colors or momentarily explode, suggesting some otherworldly reaction has occurred due to them being absorbed so I don’t need to introduce my own explanation for where they went. As the mushroom only causes mario to stretch, something different must surely be happening.

    Few of my characters own any property at all that aren’t funny-looking plant-trinkets which most likely were not paid for. They are all destitute!

  3. 3
    3:50 am, March 13, 2011
    PurpleSpace sez:

    It has always bothered me that Mario’s sideburns are a different hair color than his mustache. Why is the brand and color of men’s hair dye solution he uses not included in the Mario wiki?

    Do you not give your characters proper footwear so someone will not describe their footwear in an online descriptive archive of information that is called a wiki for some reason?

  4. 4
    9:08 pm, March 13, 2011
    Grimbling sez:

    What a curious topic to read about on my birthday, Mario being an Italian variant of my top-secret real-life name! It is truly fate, or mushrooms, that have made this a possibility.

    Allow me to say that discovering your website, writings and delightful monsters has been an utter pleasure. Now I must cease waffling before I revert back into my sarcastic Hyde-ian form.
    -Grimby

  5. 5
    6:29 pm, March 14, 2011
    Zinkugel sez:

    Spaceo:
    I noticed the hair difference, but then I thought “that’s so obvious it must be normal and I know nothing about mustaches.” I remembered that Hulk Hogan’s beard doesn’t match his mustache, and, not to imply that the man whose entire family has a fictional last name is “normal;” I just didn’t know where to start looking for additional examples.

    I don’t give them foot-wear because they have oddly shaped feet. Also, they never asked. And if they did I would berate them for acknowledging my existence. I don’t doubt that any one of them would look sillier with such adornments.

    Grimbeo:
    Well happy old birthday to you! Are you secretly Mari, the great Capcom composer who disappeared inexplicably around 1993 or so and then allegedly contributed one track to Megaman 10 last year?

    Thank you for saying such a thing! It’s terribly not terrible to know that you think what I do is worth doing and that you find any of it delightful. How did you come to see this? Are you and the purple one acquainted? You seem to have both begun dropping comments around the same time.

  6. 6
    9:05 pm, March 14, 2011
    Grimbling sez:

    I don’t know a “purple one,” sorry about that. I don’t even remember how I found you! That was probably through a strange chain of users and favourites on art sites (which I should be ashamed to admit to visiting) until I found the candygeddon work of yours.

  7. 7
    10:47 pm, March 14, 2011
    Zinkugel sez:

    The “purple one” being “purplespace” who commented before you, but I have enough information to satisfy the query.

    Shame is significant in my life, but you hardly seem like anyone I’d wish it on! If a thing doesn’t degrade the quality of your existence or make you behave miserably toward others, you probably do not need to regret it. Anyhow, if you found something I did, it would most likely have been because I left it there!

  8. 8
    11:23 pm, March 14, 2011
    Grimbling sez:

    Oh man purplespace! Now I look like a twit. :)

  9. 9
    11:26 pm, March 14, 2011
    Zinkugel sez:

    Is the smile because you just realized you are perfectly qualified to be here?

    Oh gosh that’s the fastest I ever replied to a comment here. I will probably retire to my mattress lump momentarily due to the shock of it.

  10. 10
    3:00 pm, March 16, 2011
    PurpleSpace sez:

    I refuse to man up to anything!

  11. 11
    4:14 pm, March 17, 2011
    Pigbuster sez:

    I would like to wish you a “happy birthday”! I know Facebook tends to be the website I tend to use for such well wishes but I felt like that’d be strange to pop up among the people you actually know to give you a brief birthday congratulations, so instead I am using this website as a proxy.

  12. 12
    11:30 am, March 18, 2011
    Zinkugel sez:

    Hey there, Piggy! (or should that be Busty (no probably not)) Thank you! Well gosh you can say anything wherever you like. Congratulations probably aren’t in order since living so long isn’t an accomplishment in this part of the world, but it’s nice to be acknowledged! I am aware of when shamefully few of my acquaintances, both real and from the internet, have their respective birth-dates. When is yours?

  13. 13
    5:17 pm, March 18, 2011
    Pigbuster sez:

    I was born on June 13th, which isn’t too far off at this point I suppose! It will also be the day I turn 22, which is a significant age because of its insignificance. At least next year will come with being eligible for the FBI, and with a degree in animation I am SURE to be accepted. 22 comes with pretty much nothing at all. Oh well.

  14. 14
    1:17 pm, May 10, 2013
    http://ecigpromocodes.org/green-dope-coupon/ sez:

    Is it okay to insert a portion of this in my web site if I publish a reference to this site?

  15. 15
    8:55 pm, May 10, 2013
    Heapinfrimp sez:

    As long as it hurts your business!

RSS feed for comments, for they hunger.

Leave a comment. If you want to.

Apparently you can`t preview them, so don`t try anything dangerous.

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

i warned you about this
  • Less recent posts
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • December 2004

  • May 2007
    April 2007
    March 2007
    February 2007
    January 2007
    December 2006
    November 2006
    October 2006
    September 2006
    August 2006
    July 2006
    June 2006
    May 2006
    April 2006
    March 2006
    February 2006
    January 2006
    December 2005
    November 2005
    October 2005
    September 2005
    August 2005
    July 2005
    June 2005
    Maypril 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005
    January 2005
    Novcember 2004
    October 2004
    September 2004
    August 2004
    July 2004
    Maune 2004
    April 2004
    Febrarch 2004
    January 2004
    December 2003
    Octvember 2003
    Augtember 2003
    Junly 2003
    Maypril 2003
    Febrarch 2003
    Octnovdecjan 20023
    Junulgustember 2002
    Maypril 2002
    This never happened


    old webpages
    Mall Meh...ness
    03-03-2007
    Labyrinthy
    02-22-2007
    Cartoons
    12-10-2006
    Ludicrous
    07-01-2006
    I do not approve.
    06-04-2006
    irrational complaining about my television set
    04-24-2006
    Dennises are dead to me
    04-17-2006
    web-tv
    04-08-2006
    This page is not about shoes.
    03-22-2006
    I hate shoes.
    03-11-2006
    something award related
    03-04-2006
    Bahrg.
    02-26-2006
    Those Green Eyes again
    01-28-2006
    More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
    01-15-2006
    MeSpace
    11-EH-2005
    Biggest Loser
    10-EH-2005
    Mall Blandness
    07-20-2005
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    01/05/05
    Belindi
    11/03/04
    Mall Egadness
    09/22/04
    Las Vegas
    07/30/04
    Spiderman 2
    07/20/04
    Jope and Dopes
    06/27/04
    These Green Eyes
    04/24/04
    Friday
    04/01/04
    Wedding
    03/07/04
    Game Over
    03/02/04
    McDenny's
    01/09/04
    Mall orneryness
    01/06/04
    Movies I'm not going to see
    11/14/03
    Back fashion school to
    09/14/03
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    06/14/03
    JList
    06/03/03
    France
    03/31/03
    Official pizza of Nascar
    03/16/03
    Browsers
    02/23/03
    Michael Jackson
    2/16/03
    Free Speech
    02/05/03
    Thursday
    01/23/03
    Doofs
    01-whenever-03
    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    video games
    Runaway Rainbow
    12-29-2008
    Marsupilami part 1
    Marsupilami part 2
    02-12-2007
    Spirou part 1
    Spirou part 2
    05-26-2006
    Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure!
    04-18-2005
    Kirby part 1
    Kirby part 2
    Kirby part 3
    01/23/05
    Dynamite HeaddY
    07/04/04
    McDonald's Treasureland Adventure
    03/21/04
    Pac in Time part 1
    Pac in Time part 2
    02/12/04
    Air Fortress
    07/16/03
    Super Widget
    05/17/03
    Back to the Forest (the skunny page)
    01/21/03
    Tintin and the Prisoners of the Sun
    09/24/02
    Bip Bop II
    2001, a space waste
    Barney's Hide and Seek "Game"
    too late to make a difference
    Moraff's Dungeons of the Unforgiven
    before the one above it
    Super Games Galore! Doy!
    mysterious
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same