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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
October 19, 2020
Mr. Pizza will be remembered for his passion for law and spending a record 45 years in the Lucas County Prosecutor’s Office.

I was yesterday made aware of this via a blurry phonetograph of truck spotted on the highway:

the 1990s deviantart-anime-webcomic mister t logo and slogan were bad enough, but the doofus narrator actually says “we pity the stool” in what I assume is a mr.t impression voice at the end of this terrible video. As a profoundly white being myself I, personally, don’t care if a white guy wants to try and impersonate a black guy’s voice if he happens to be good at it, but this one is very bad at it.
what is with this drawing? Am I supposed to want this guy to come to my house and beat up my pipes? And risk getting his jewelry dirty?
I am sure the company has a lawyer that assured everyone involved, first of all, that “#1 plumber in connecticut” is an ambiguous enough set of words to not need to strictly be proven, and also that “a-team” is a generic phrase uncopyrighted with regard to plumbing, and that as long as the cartoon is vague and is never explicitly identified as being a representation of Lawrence Tureaud akadaka “Mr. T” this is totally legal and acceptable. It is still stupid and embarrassing and not sure if it is targeting 50-70 year olds who would actually have watched the a-team and own homes now or 30-40 year olds who knew Mr. T as a proto-meme (in my case ten years ago literally drawn over a proto-man) and were aware that he said “i pity the fool” about something on some occasion but probably rely on a landlord or equivalent entity to deal with broken home infrastructure, but in neither instance would he be associated with quality leak-fixing services.
And as far as I can tell, T’s character B A Baracus never wore gold chains on The A Team nor vowed to pity fools, but that doesn’t matter; the point is that I don’t know what the point is.

the website makes absolutely no mention of the logo, Mr.T or anything to do with the a-team television program (nor thankfully the insufferable yet equally unrelated to the tv show or plumbing ed sheeran song), but does appear to be promoting that its employees are pushy and looking for silly things to charge you for.

Benjamin Franklin makes much more sense because he was historically about three feet tall and did carry around a wrench almost as big and crawl about in human waste dressed in senate garb.

i presume this all started when some university dork saw an ad for an “a-1 plumbing” service and then thought hey wouldn’t it be FUNNY if it was a-TEAM plumbing? and Mr. T was in the commercial and said *bad mr. t voice* I PITY THE PIPES!” and then borrowed 200 thousand dollars from his parents and actually made it happen because that is the sort of life that sort of person lives.

why does a french fry truck need an obnoxious star trek reference –that I only know IS a star trek reference from witnessing so many obnoxious references to it– as its name and slogan? the same reason a plumbing company needs a confused Mr. T reference: it doesn’t but the boss said it had to.

it apparently no longer says “resistance is futile” on the webpage or the trucks but the rest of the goony text mess remains. I would assume this guy also made Streptococcus Paiella with A-Team plumbing’s artist if I didn’t remember that it doesn’t exist because I made that page myself as a joke. Clearly I missed the point of life and everything that is a joke to me is a potentially lucrative business. “Jon” talking about himself talks like I did on web pages that I soon after hoped and stopped short of praying would eventually be purged from existence because everybody rightfully hated me for talking like that. I tried to stop being a corny idiot instead of doubling down on it and having the money to buy a truck lying around.
I never ate cinnamon toast crunch as a child or adult nor actively sought memes so perhaps that limited my mind from entering the contentedly mediocre state necessary to lose all shame and shill at everyone I know to get them to finance my grand bland garbage aspirations, and now the living embodiment of that has been US president for almost four years, and people in my own family that I never asked for money voted for him and look forward to doing so again. But I do not request pity; save that for the stool.

October 5, 2020
Spyro, on the other hand, is a little jealous of all the attention being given to the faun rather than himself, and took matters into his own belly~

a robision for cyanic of Sudo the Caralynx, having been ambushed by dopes in a jungle setting

I have no idea why somebody would pay me to draw their character getting hassled by dopes. If I were a morally upright sort perhaps I would decline but I prefer this to being asked to draw morbid obesity fetish that swears it isn’t a fetish-art or morbid-dullardry fetish animal people wearing jeans pants and drinking coffee. Also since i theoretically “created” dopes I don’t need to look up references to draw them properly, and know that in fact no dope is proper.

September 29, 2020
Even though these blue-colored versions of Bowser likely affected the depiction of Bowser’s Brother, they are not stated to be him.

ehhhhdit: yes it looks better after today’s alterations but I feel uninclined to replace the video right this moment!

a fairly annoying video. i under-estimated how noisy it would be, since I had increased the frequency with which they make noises in order to ensure they were making noises at the correct times, and then only recorded in rooms that contained about fifty of the dumb things. particularly the ignoble noise they emit after being defeated is conspicuous here, playing at intervals of 8 to 64 game-time units rather than 256 to 1024, and one of the sounds it can play is louder than I thought it was.
because the sounds themselves were recorded between 2003 and today, in sometimes less than adequate accoustical circumstances, because I couldn’t find the thing that lets me use a microphone with this incredibly shoddily designed combined earphone/microphone port, or it was before I had a microphone at all. I have both now, thank you, good luck.
I will hopefully give them a means to explode when hit with exploding objects since that they lack one here doesn’t seem at all fair.

September 19, 2020
after taking careful measurements of perceptual responses, he realized that no symmetrical shape would do, so he reorganized his system into a lumpy blob.[44]

wurf this took long enough.
two supplemental pages for book 4 of this, showing something that is mildly alluded to later, since I introduced the idea of these dumb blobs so long ago without a plan, thinking a plan might arise, and then it never did and I forgot about them for a while. They are placed as 63 and 64 for now just so they will come after 62 but I want to put 62 earlier.

what is presently page 3-01 i may break into two pages since it is too cluttered for what it shows and it may work as 2-65 instead so the book gets and extra page, and then also i can end on a revelation with actual implications rather than the lurking robot since that ultimately is a non-issue.

Somehow it took me two weeks to draw these pages even though hardly anything is happening. The machine design was frustrating and I worried it looked too simplistic, yet the pages are still hopelessly cluttered. In fact I had a totally different idea for this insert from august 2019 but then COULDN’T FIND IT nor any sort of script describing it when I finally got around to dealing with it a year later, until a few days ago when I was looking for something else. And I couldn’t remember anything ABOUT it, either. In fact I eventually convinced myself I hadn’t made it at all in order to make myself give up looking for it. That it was too long to fit on one page is the SOLE detail that I recalled and that prevented me from totally believing it didn’t exist. I seem to have more anxiety about things not fitting on pages than what they actually are.
What this IS, whatever it is, it does not completely contradict what I did use, so it can be used as a foundation for a similar page later. probably for the best that I didn’t find it, for the book 4 spot, since this openly shows (or would once it was drawn better) kumquat becoming kaklabesk, and also some baser form which i have no recollection of designating as part of the process. since i fussed so much over the way i presented kumquat being kaklabesk in recent “book 6” pages, inserting an earlier page where i show it more blatantly would seem counterintuitive. Which would also be consistent since nothing I do is intuitive but there is still plenty on today’s pages that doesn’t work so don’t be concerned about that.

September 12, 2020
The spoon end was used to extract the “hard excrements” while the other was used for applying ointments, no doubt necessary after undergoing a procedure with this instrument.

9-13-2020 addender:
I only added the panera logo yesterday after having to drive a car somewhere and seeing repeated mentions of Panera and I considered that I feel more insulted by panera than mcdonalds; selling junk of a comparable quality and nutrition level but with a pretentious attitude of “this is REAL food for SMART people” and they don’t even have chicken nuggets so it definitely had to go in here, even if it is apparent as a late addition.


click for needlessly larger image

this is not meant to be: i hate all this stuff and we can’t be friends if you like any of it; i probably hate 75% of this stuff and generally I can only be friends with anyone as a remote exception. It is more about a system that inhuman but ostensibly run by humans constantly pushes forced hype and enthusiasm for brands as if this is organic rather than uncompensated labor for corporations that can afford to pay for it.
I don’t like paid promotion either but that is correctly identified as “advertising.”
admittedly I primarily get nfl rubbed in my business off the internet, but I have had a LOT of nfl rubbed in my business. Although I would not be recognized as a legless naked orange mutant off the internet.

Or put another way, the same thing i have been saying incessantly for 15 years presented in a sadder, more defeated manner. I look forward to feeling inspired to say something else!

Don’t make me put bandai or whoever’s logo in there. please. there isn’t space for it.

September 5, 2020
“This provides yet more evidence of the folly of maintaining two nearly identical versions of the same foot,” he wrote in an email.

I wish I could tell you what their collective problem is but if I ever knew, I do not now remember.

August 28, 2020
The error went unnoticed for years until Dr. Dennis watched the video recently as he plotted to kill the old foot. He was mortified.

9-4-2020 545pm busy busy busy tired tired oh too tired to say it again

what, so this should be MY problem? I am tired of having to make all the decisions around here! Every one of those dumb things looks terrible, I shan’t choose.

August 21, 2020
In Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS and Wii U, one of Kirby’s palette swaps resembles Meta Knight without his mask, further implying that Meta Knight may be a Kirby.

however I feel about the actual content of the story [a week ago], the unnecessary, corny, 3D ANIMATED face mask from this New York Times piece has greatly improved my day

WHY does it have to be 3d? WHY does it have to be turning? This reminds me of a “choose your character” screen from a mid-1990s arcade game with “great graphics” except instead of a bold and powerful adventurous figure it is a dumb old piece of fabric with straps on it

I can’t stand it, it looks like it has ears. This might as well be nemitz’s head partial turning and smiling at me and whoever else yet never totally looking away. That should be illegal.

also stupid, you can CLICK ON the mask to make it BIGGER! Just in case you saw it and thought “not corny and unnecessary enough at that size, need bigger!” In fact you can even click quite a distance away from it just to make sure maximum maskimum corniness is accessible to people whose motor skills are less than fine.

And this isn’t the Forklogan-Vanpeeblesworth Dispatch, this is the New York Times,

pardon me TIMES, the same acclaimed news source that proclaimed Miss Bianca to be a veritable minx of a mouse, which a book publisher then thought worth putting on a book cover above its title, so they mean business.

Also, this was among numerous books in boxes that I took from my attic to my garage in 2014 trying to clear space, not realizing everything in the garage would become trash by virtue of being in the garage, yet this quote was preserved, while the title was not, when I got to disposing of the books on the same day as the 3d mask came to me so it is only logical to assume there is a deep metaphysical connection. And now it is deep messed-a-physically within a dumpster, beneath surprisingly few dopes.

August 13, 2020
Finally, Don’t Wait Until Night, played during Stage 6, which fittingly borrows hints of “The Silence of Daylight” (town music from Castlevania II)[citation needed], was remixed in Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow for Julius’ theme known as “Heart of Fire”, though this particular song is actually a medley of the Haunted Castle tune and “Heart of Fire” from the original Castlevania.

8-21 1233am yeehaw howdy. if i am not still cleaning stuff in my house on friday I may be able to force in an update that heavily resembles something i put on twitter a week ago.

a strange drawing from somebody called Clown King:

What the-?!?!! Who let Dopes into the fire station?!?! And just what is that Dope using to put out the flames?!! Gasoline?! Gas-o-LINE?!! You stupid DOPE!!!

to that I respont:

Thank you for drawing these dopes! And curse you for drawing these dopes! Arrrrf do they REALLY think they are helping? Who put those hats on them? Who drove that truck there and positioned that dope to look like it drove the truck? Does it think it did? That one on the ladder, what is it DOING? NOBODY wants to look out a window and see a dumb dope there and obviously that imbecile isn’t going to help anybody smiling in through their windows. I just want to grab the ears on that foreground dope and do something I have not yet determined. I can hardly comprehend that the least awful dope is the one that isn’t doing anything and is simply loitering about being useless. I applaud your courageous and accurate reporting amidst chaos, uncertainty and uncharted punchability.

what was not visible to casual observers and that I elected to disregard:

to be clear this is not ME saying that I love dopes because I absolutely do NOT and if I did I would not admit it even privately. I would take the secret to my grave and nobody would find it because I do not intend to be buried because I think that is silly.

clown king has a character named Michaela Myers who is evidently fond of chopping things with machetes and this seemed like a good cause

this also allowed me to make use of all two of the facial expressions I can draw. I am not totally sure WHERE this is happening because I studied at the Doom Level School of Architectural Design. The important thing is that dopes are not being tolerated.

August 6, 2020
bugs and trees were your food then, no pajamas

I lost electricity after the hurricane passed through, if you are curious. A day and a half after, because we procrastinate in my house. The internet cut out earlier since it has places to be.
I of course blame nemitz, who knew I wasn’t done talking about dunkin donuts/dopes cereal, something mit evidently holds as sacred, and nemitz knew because of what a stupid thing to know that is.

I have to walk a few blocks to get this crummy phone wifi and no way to charge this thing or get data off my computer so this will be that for now. I don’t know why people think they need to tell me to ‘be safe;’ do I go wondering to odd places after midnight even when people aren’t extra on edge and sometimes get accosted by the police just for being outside looking weird or something?
While it is a nice change to be able to go outside at night without every other house blasting bright white light pollution 29 hours a day all the loud generators owned by more people than I guessed running is less than peaceful and easy to mistake for the sound of utility trucks that aren’t coming.

Meanwhile here is a picture of the world’s worst character, Shoney Bear of the southern us restaurant chain Shoney’s that my cousin Patrick sent to me back in December because I must have expressed relief at my belief that the character was no longer used, because after I copied and deleted all my own pictures off the dumb phone so I could take more since I no longer have a real camera that sort of thing is all that remains and now I know one more folder that I must periodically clear out.
Also behold wordpress’s built in image show-er, the reason why I have to manually and tediously manage all my website pictures via old fashioned ftp.

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: October 6, 2020
Purplespace sez:
The perils of dopes and also birds!
October 6, 2020
Charmlatan sez:
Who would had thought dopes were vicious pack hunters!
October 1, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
when I made the video it did not quite work properly but now I have ensured that they get...
October 1, 2020
Charmlatan sez:
If launching them is too finicky or cumbersome, it could be used to hide an easter egg. Dopes...
October 1, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
I left the imp in there because the video was so shoddy it wouldn’t be that big of a...
October 1, 2020
Charmlatan sez:
The old brown model near the end really clashes with the new sprites, it’s a testament in...
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