I think you may have seen this already.
You should see this later.

This time, the images form such a time range and are so heavily altered from their original states it would not be a good use of time for me to seek out dates. I know you're always surprised to see me without a date.

Life on the Streets: Stop the Violence

No no no! Don't you see? It's not worth the struggle! There's more to life than this! Donít endanger your life fighting over a bag of cents! Your gun probably cost more than your entire theft! Uhhhhnnn, these things never learn.

Carpentry Addiction
Some mushrooms are dangerous.

Canned Food Drive

It must be great to be homeless. You don't have to work and only have to eat once per year, in late November.

Self Defence
An argument against gun control.

I was asked once why the dope seen here has no arms. I at first responded that the dope most likely had its arms folded behind its back, perhaps in a false show of modesty. But it soon occurred to me that dopes are so dumb they wouldn't even notice if they suddenly had no arms. It's happened before.

At several points during the planning process for a different project which successfully comes across totally unplanned, I noticed that a creature of similar biology and disposition to a dope would routinely not bother having arms.

I was so enraged by this that I made sure to record my thoughts in tiny 9 point arial font beside the primary offender, just so that future generations would understand my pain. I don't expect dopes to understand my pain; the one being shot above doesn't even understand its own pain. I also don't like the idea of dopes still being around during future generations. I don't like the idea of them being around now, but if they survive it is only because we, us, now, fail to make them extinct. I hope I have not demoralized you to the extent that you cannot finish this page. I was trying to motivate you.

Oh snow!

None of my childhud memories of snow are positive.

I've seen more than enough of this picture in the past month (November, 2007) to last several months.

A rarely (ehhh, never) seen version of the above picture, before fancy coloring and totally unnecessary scraggle trees. Notice how less creepy and phony it looks. Also, now that approximately 457.3 of the other one have been printed I finally realize what I did wrong when fancying the scarf. For some reason the wrong edge is visible in the "completed" version. It also appears that the top-most ball of snow is actually a cartoon bomb in disguise.

Nemitz (abridged) Either a very ambitious project or merely what happens when you use a big bean instead of a palette.

Evidently smocks aren't necessary if you haven't clothes to ruin. I think I may have typed that about something I saw in a Pink Panther cartoon and mistakenly thought at a later date that it applied to this, but it does.

I must report that I originally depicted an easel my mother owned in the late 1980s and then left in a closet somewhere. I think I must have rendered it quite innacurately, as a more recent online reconnaissance for the purpose of this re-make revealed no similar setups. The actual easel is long since missing so I may never know what its problem was.

I decided I didn't want a giant stupid scroll-bar on the whole page.
D'dih dih-danger lurks behind you
I tried to fiddle this into an image appropriate for something besides a mediocre website's header image, but it refused to be violated. As for the background, there is no excusing it.

A Dangerous Game

You should know what you're getting into when you insert coin at the machine with a rotating GOLD dope. Who would even make a gold dope? As a rule, if you see a figure slowly spinning around, wait until it faces you, to make sure it's not a dope. Even if it IS gold. Ehhh, that's probably gold paint. I hate that dope. It thinks it's running for president. It thinks it's quelling an applauding audience so that it can speak. No one's clapping, dope.

Avast, ye swabs

dopes aren't pacifists; they're just too stupid to fight back.


On the job safety is a matter of continuing importance, as experienced professionals will tell you. I have a considerable number of thoughts on that particular issue but I think they would best be left to myself.

pog Disposal

Well, they have to go somewhere. But don't worry about them, they don't seem to mind. I imagine it's even a bit fun until they hit the surface.

Also, I wasn't aware of it at the time, but apparently even the most expensive printing apparatuses can't stand the idea of there being something between blue and pink.

This is why we still don't have free health coverage in this country!

Then get out of the pot!
Precise measurements
Stupid animal.
Be not troubled by how the floor resists catching fire; I initially forgot to draw a fire and so it didn't seem like a problem.

Suspicious Citrus

Now, when I said to include such a picture in order to give my statements more critical weight, I was not, in fact, making a serious suggestion. Nor was I proposing you craft one yourself, should an acceptable daguerreotype not be available in any royalty-free collections of stock photos.

That said, I suppose I don't have any real objections to its being publicly viewable.

As far as accuracy goes...I must admit, I have never met Pog in a cross between a cemetery, a futuristic block-city/depiction of the "virtual" interior of a computer and a stained-glass window, at least not while it was on fire. I also do not at the time of writing have a weasel-cat perched upon my head, though this is always subject to change. Finally, I do not own a Texas-shaped belt, though I believe I've seen this same article of clothing on another of your characters, so presumably this is meant to suggest that I either stole it or fished it out of a dumpster.

  - The Angry Sun

Honor your commitments and dress appropriately for the occasion.

You'll be glad you did.

Heavy Weaponry

It's not heavy, you're just weak. And a coward. And prone to making needless announcements.

But the question is: may you? No, I forbid it.

Ah, there we go.


You know, like the Japanese champion eater of hot dogs, except one of those stupid yoshi dinosaurs, from Super Mario games, that I never even liked that much. I would have thought this was quite clever if I'd drawn it five years ago. Now, though, it just makes me kind of sad.
Note that this is "fan art" only because I like hot dogs.

Filling sketch-book pages to capacity often means working with spaces of non-standard shapes.

Portable Texas

Sometimes the terrain you find yourself surrounded by when "situations" arise is inadequate for the statement you want to make. It is with just this sort of dilemma in mind that we have invented the Portable Texas. So thank us.
Because a showdown can occur in any place.

It can be explained, but not justified. That would be my trademark if there was a market for this.

Oh, and this, too.
Have you seen this?