Crackerbarrel, why did I type all this? Now it is too long to not get a seperate page. Alas, it is also too late to be relevant. Worse than that, it is not interesting enough to read outside relevance a year from now. Maybe if I dump it here and do not say anything, I can pretend it had been here before it was irrelevant. Ah, but if I do not say anything, no one will likely ever see it. Well, think of something. And delete this part before you upload it.|
I think the biggest loser is whoever decided the television show by that name could fill an hour timeslot. Half of the show is fancy swooping camera shots of the various sets, and unnecessarily long focus on the various gimmicky doohickeys. That scale doesn't really take ten seconds to determine someone's weight. I have a mechanical, as in: non-electric scale from like 1961 that makes a decision in less than two seconds. Granted, the weight can vary by five pounds either way depending on how hard you step on it, but I think if 48 years fixed that, it could have done so without creating a new problem if it also needed to be plugged into an outlet. My only guess is that the scale is powered by a 1950s mainframe computer, perhaps so the fat contestents don't feel so bad, in which case my technology is actually more advanced.
Sure, a lot of those "non-actors getting filmed for some reason" shows will intentionally draw things out so that a commercial break can happen right before the end result of whatever junk was just happening, but this show does it more badly, and even if it didn't I still hate that. The Biggest Loser delays the deed twice: before the last weight registers and before and the last vote-off card is shown. You might think that since the vote-off happens immediately following the last weight you wouldn't be able to fit two commercial breaks in there. I envy your innocence. For some reason, maybe, the vote-off cards have to be on trays, and we have to see the fat people carrying the trays down a really long hallway, one-at-a-time. But not before we've seen the time-lapse video of day changing to night and the building the hallway is in from a distance. And then the fat people all sit in chairs. And then the seemingly soulless Caroline Rheaah asks each one "Dorbo? Who did you vote for?" "Gorikz, who did you vote for?" "Nunfip, who did you vote for?" like they didn't know why they had written names on the cards and prepared speeches trying to justify it. And then each gives that speech, followed by a bit of moaning. "aw ban, this is one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make." These people are as pouty as a Nicholas Cage movie poster. And then whoever loses has to get really self righteous "well. I thought you were my friends. I guess I was wrong." Hey ho, dwobo. Someone had to go. There wasn't a choice to vote for no one. You expect them to all vote for themselves? Guess what, greuben, only one person can win. It is not an exclusive fatso-only club that you've been unjustly banned from. I'd hate to see these big losers play musical chairs. I can't believe you took that chair from me. We were supposed to be in this together. Don't act like they intentionally set you up to look stupid. The minute you put on that giant red shirt and appeared in public, let alone before the camera, you'd sealed your own fate.
Although now that I think about it, the competition could easily be held and more legitimately be called such if there were no voting. But then there wouldn't be as much petty drama and small-time humiliation, and I guess those things are good for ratings. I personally found them the most annoying parts of the show, but I wasn't planning to watch it again anyway, so my opinion probably doesn't count.
I saw a bit of the show the week after the one I saw more of. Since there was one less person, that means there was one less three minute pound computation and one less vagina monologue at the vote-off table. How will they fill the time? By sending BOTH groups down the hallway carrying trays. Individually.
I meant to watch the show, a full show, that week, so that I might become certain that I hadn't just witnessed low moments, so that I would not worry I had given an unjust assessment of something I only saw once. However, I forgot the show was even on. You can tell it meant so much to me. I finally remembered two or three weeks after that, and guess what: Everyone who was fat before was still fat. Maybe not as fat, but that is only because there is no cake at the Biggest Loser compound. Everyone who was whiny was still whiny. Exactly as whiny. People were whining about being on newly arranged teams, forgetting anew that there could still only be 1 winner. And then one of them walked in a field for about ten minutes interspersed with various scenes of people whining about teams, birds, whining, flowers and whining. Nothing any of them said mattered, since the guy walking in a field, alone, not listening to them, was the only person choosing teams. When the time came for him to choose teams, we were shown the building he was choosing them in.
Then we saw the room. Then people walked into the room.
Astoundingly, instead of ending, this episode seemed to enter a third half-hour. The Double Dare all time champions couldn't have filled this show past the red line with content, and yet it continued.
Personally, I feel that... the scale isn't a reflection... of... how I feel.
Caroline Griegah explained that there would be trouble for whichever team fell below the yellow line. Then the physics of the yellow line were explained. I don't know why she bothered, though, because each step of each rule was recounted as it became relevant each time it became relevant. "The yellow line" actually just ended up meaning that whoever lost the least weight failed. Oh, really? Is that why you just showed me various montages of fat people using exercise machines and standing next to fatter pictures of themselves? Gosh, who would have thought it would be the exact same thing as every other time you made them step on the scale?
Why teams? I do not know. The reason I was shown, however, involved a
Music schizophrenia. If the live finale is in November, and each show represents one week, that means there are less than four weeks remaining in the game. How is the fat ones seeing their families the ultimate prize if every one of them will be done with the whole thing and back with their families in less than a month, some of them sooner than that? The one who was evicted this week was even shown re-meeting his wife "24 hours later." I thought the ultimate prize on this show was to not be fat anymore. They all saw their families before they entered. Why would they give up the ultimate prize for a chance at winning a lesser prize?