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(The original was against a light-colored background)

Not, in fact, a psychological study attempting to explain the thought progression of unconsious brains. It only has "dream" in the title to make it immediately associatable with Kirby's Dream Land, a game with which it has nothing else in common. The only weird history I know about this is that it was called Special Tee Shot before it was finished. Isn't that crazy?

I guess the story is that everyone in Dream Land / Dream Course / Populous forgot how to walk, and it's our job as players to torment them by throwing Kirby at them.

I didn't bother to try this at first because I suspected it was from the same Kirby group that managed the bean one and I also suddenly remembered I hate golf. Funny how that works out. Even funnier is that the first is incorrect and the second becomes irrelevant once monsters and the dastardly YELLOW KIRBY (player 2) involve themselves. However, not long before stepping on and decimating it I made my scanner* interpret the following bizarre image (which for my convenience I've seperated into smaller images) on a similar subject inspired entirely by some vague screen-captures I saw in Nintendo Power one time, so I'm going ahead with my back-up plan anyway.
While neither well illustrated or particularly amusing in its intended way, having been made in 1995 makes it the most topical Kirby-related commentary I can give you .

(word "death" not actually written with blood)

It sure is fun! Note the attention to detail, such as how I didn't bother writing out "course" in any kind of special letters and also the partially erased image fragments in the background. The thing that looks to be a mutant starfish with creepily conceived, groutesquely rendered mammories is actually supposed to be the character I called pog, deformed by bad perspective drawing skills and with adjacent eyes. Pog is saying "oops," yet appears otherwise unconcerned.

Although death does not rhyme with dream, it at least looks like it possibly might if you didn't speak English.

The angry-eyed one hiding behind the poorly rendered Zelda shield was known by two names. "Kelbeusqe" to me (whose name I suspect I stole and misspelled from a Crystalis villain), "Kirby" to everyone else. And there you have the entire foundation for my having made this.

More Kelbirby. Points of interest include my inability to decide which awkward looking way the golf stick should be held and also a rare rendering of Kelbeusqe's nose. I decided that whatever Kelbesk was had its nose at the roof of its head (although in this instance it looks more like a continuance of the mine field). Like a whale I thought, perhaps? Don't ask what I was thinking. It's too late for that.

How strange that despite my previous statement that the loftily placed goal was to hurt Ybrik, here I've retracted that offer by declaring this apparently agonious situation to be "bad for you." Maybe I meant that it did not comprise part of a healthful diet. Who knows. Me from 1995.

(even I couldn't read this one at that scale)

I don't know that any magazines other than Nintendo Power rewarded players for getting high scores, nor that Super Power Stamps** met the minimum requirements to be called "prize." In the hours it takes for you to get pi million points in Pinbot to obtain the necessary stamps to get a Nintendo Power logo shirt, you could afford to buy two as a result of working at the job you were fired from for playing video games all day. Sure, I was twelvish years old when writing that, but who do you know under 30 that can tolerate nothin' but Tetris for three straight days? But I kid, I kid... Nintendo Power didn't offer the stamps until 1993, so the people raping Tetris prior to that weren't winning anything. Other than the admiration of their families, naturally.

Ironically, Nintendo offered taxiderm versions of some of their popular characters in exchange for stamps, and Kirby was not among them, despite being the only one of them befitting of the format. Crispix, Kirby looks to have foregone many biological necessities in order to facilitate a better stuffed animal. Luckily, I never had any stamps.

Here a final badly drawn image just to fill the remaining space at the base of the pase. Page, excuse me. Kelbeesk looks to be contemplating igniting a Far Side calendar with a candle, while pog further malforms within the prestigious 92nd place trophy. Responding to the asterisk in the first image, "Numbtendo" was a direct lift from a Cracked magazine article about video games, that despite clearly having been written and illustrated by people who'd never played any, I still went so far as to rip off a made up word from. Tralala, I used to read and admire Cracked. No really. I can tell you're shocked. That's Cracked as in: "one of the few magazines less intellectually stimulating than Nintendo Power is Cracked." Quite a bit after making this, long enough that I didn't go back and erasingly edit it, I realized that "Numbtendon," with an N at the end, would have been almost clever. I did a lot of such editing, such as I had with every Kelbeqsue picture made prior to my decision that fingers would assist in differentiating it from Kirby, no matter how un-handlike their whole appeared protruding from Kirby arms.

It turns out that the hurt Kirby aspect is not far removed from the actual game, in which it happens, but merely is not the focus. This is most apparent in the two player mode, which I have found to be amusing. I cannot say at this time whether this is due to the thought put into it or the utter lack of that the regular mode is infused with. My enjoyment of this is especially surprising since I don't now nor will I likely ever find or seek another person to play this stupid game with, and thus control both sides myself. To make it competetive, I give the two Kirbies different personalities. Yellow Kirby tries to defeat enemies and reach the goal. Pink Kirby tries to steal the Yellow Kirby's points and knock it off the board. It's like Goofus and Gallant the home game. If we may only learn one lasting lesson from Kirby's Dream Course, it's that whether I play it or don't, I am an idiot. Moving on...

*I've been diddling this page for long enough that I had time to get a new scanner. Ehhh...

**Super Power Stamps should not be confused with food stamps, which make america stronger. (also, I think that's officially the old page of mine I've made specific later reference to the most. Hooray for me acknowledging me!)

(The letters were small)

Something about this one rubbed me the wrong way since I first knew about it upon receiving the, yes, Nintendo Power issue 68 the page [hopefully] at right appeared in. I wondered, why is it 2? Isn't it the third directly-controlled Kirby outing? And what's the deal with the new beastmaster theme? For some reason not yet known to mortals, at the time I had a big problem with the idea of one thing riding upon another thing. It wasn't even a problem with the ridee submitting to the rider; it couldn't have been, because I always hated that big gerbil.
I can only describe it as the result of a bizarre psychological disorder, but fortunately I don't have to, because now that I've mostly gotten over that I still don't appreciate Kirby's cronies. For the game, they aren't there to help, so much as to not help when a player doesn't feel like dealing with them and / or gets hit too many times. Their names don't impress me, either.That article mentions, immediately afterwards, that those specifically are subject to be changed as development progresses, as if even the people who thought "fighting inflation" was a funny headline and that the brown lump most resembled a squirrel considered those labels just a bit too stupid, and dreaded the idea of having to refer to them in an upcoming issue. Not that there wouldn't be a whole lot else to fill the space with. Why, just a few pages before, a special report from Japan indicated that Secret of Mana II, Ys V, "Tale Phantasia," Dragon Quest VI and so many others were all nearing completion.

I never owned the cartridge for this (you seem surprised), but did have an opportunity to play it once on the Toys is Us Big Gameboy, and wasn't impressed. I mean, the big game boy was impressive, it being so big, and it didn't reset itself every two minutes like the Genesis showing Sonic the Hedgehog 3 did. Actually, the Genesis might have contained Vectorman by this point. Was it Vectorman 2? What year did that come out? I think I have that on my old computer. It's not plugged in or hooked up to a monitor, though. I don't even know if it will turn on. I hope it still works. I can't get Worms to run on this one.

As a way of excusing myself from wanting the Kirby game with the characters I hated in it, I convinced myself it was annoyingly slow. It isn't slow; the things wrong with it are completely different than that, but slow was the best I could come up with at the time, myself being rather slow. So totally not pleased with it was I that I decided it starred not "my" Kirby, but rather an imposter. No, really, I believed this. The one bit of evidence I had to base this on was the fact that the first game's label picture showed a white Kirby, while this one and others I did not approve of (see above, previous, next pages) displayed a very pink Kirby (more troubling, the fake Kirby was supposedly a different entity than Ybrik). Even though, in all likelihood, this picture was drawn by an American unaffiliated with the game developers who only had monochrome gameboy screen captures as inspiration, I was too dumb to know that. Even after playing Megaman 2 I didn't figure it out. But I tell you now, It's just not like Hal to make face-tree look like an actual tree.

You might think, by my own dumbfounding reasoning, that I would also have to include Kirby's [non-numerical, NES] Adventure, which features a pink one, in my conspiracy theories, but I did not. I definitely recall that anytime I thought of this my mind changed the subject. But if I ever feel like going back in time to help myself out, I might indicate the pale selection of pinks offered by the NES color palette and suggest that this was White Kirby made up to appear pink. And then, either from contract disputes, the high cost of pink paint or some Wizard of Oz Tinman type "accident," Nintendo brought in a newer, pinker, whorier Kirby (luckily they held off on the blonde hair extensions and recording contract) who didn't mind assisting in bombardment by blobs, being hindered by hamsters or fighting for the Fox Box.

On my recent attempt at it, I found this (this being Kirby's Dream Land 2, recall) to be the only Kirby game I know of to feature end level enemies that are any hard to take down, but beyond that I still don't like it much.

While it was, as that queer display about four PgUps from here boasts,

designed for the Super Gimbo, and the game scenes do look more colorful than you'd expect from the portable unit, each only actually has four colors, and these colors don't change very often. Additionally, the Super Game-Boy itself was not portable, and it filled about 25% of the screen with a frame because the Super NES display it aborbs the life force of is not an exact multiple of the Gamebeh's. As for the "audio capabilities," I didn't notice any. I'm probably fortunate in that aspect.

On occasion, that magazine would complain next to a[nother, non Nintendo produced] game's minus symbol "no Super Gameboy support," but in the long picture, this support in the game would only have been to the benefit of them to brighten up their pages and me years later to not feel quite so depressed playing it illegally on my computer screen. I don't think I'm taking a big risk saying that most gameboy games were mediocre and the only appeal was their portability. The chances were that there was either a better alternative or in fact a better version of the exact same game on the Super NES or Genesis. Indeed, from my reading, those comprised about 90% of the games that did have supergamebih support, even if this particular example was not among them.
Huh? What's that? Yes, I did own a Game Superboy. What be your point?

All right, I'm done here.