Awards This Site Hasn't Won

A lot of web-sites have awards. Where do they come from? I can't say. But I bet they have come a long, long way. However this bizarre practice of pompous twits declaring others worthy to post their silly graphic originated is not of particular concern to me. In fact, nothing has really concerned me much since my kitchen sink faucet started dispensing opium. But before that happened, I took a bunch of other people's awards and put them on this page here for some reason.

All awards are presented in the exact form I did not win them in.

The "By South Carolina Standards" award

The "You Don't Know Where It's Been" award

The "Eternal Suffering Nude in Space" award

The "Your Website Make-a the Good Pizza" award

the "We Just Got Photoshop" award

The "Congratulations on Filling Out a Form" award

The "Sure, Blame the Bear for Your Vapid Site Graphics" award

The "Clue Murder Weapon of the Future" award

The "Children choose inept bowlegged goons and then you" award.

The "This Award is Awesome Compared to You" award

The "Great White Apathetic North" award

The "You'll Never be Safe Again" award

The "Your Site's as Bad as a High School Mascot" Award

The "Sarcastic Snob Rat" award

The "Note the Quotation Marks" Award

The "Fine Microwaved Cuisine" Award

The "Poorly Resized MSPaint Line Art" Award

The "Everyone Who Knows Who You Are Hates You" Award

The "Is That Site Really Qualified to be Giving Out Awards?" Award

The "Public Access" Award

The "Text Intentionally Obscured Because it's Not Worth Reading" Award

The "Site Likely Not Worthy of its Own Award" Award

The "Gay Robot" Award

The "We're Not Even Really Sure What This Means" Award

The "We Like Your Site, But Not That Much" Award

The "Not Exactly What Darwin Had in Mind" Award

The "Your Product Tastes Like Metal" award

The "Everything Wins in its Own Category" Award

The "Just Thought I Should Point Out that My Page Enjoys Rectal Sodomy" Award.

The "That Clipart Looks Familiar" Award

The "Curse You, Mike Myers!" Award

The "Burning Guy Lived a Life of SIN" Award

The "Not as Prestigious as They Would Have You Believe" Award

The "Hopefully No One Will Notice That This Isn't Actually an Award" Award

The "We'll Give These to Anyone Who Asks Nicely" Award

The "Is There a Whole Lot of Competition For This?" Award

The "Not Necessarily A Good Thing" Award

The "Site That Gives These Out Probably Doesn't Exist Anymore" Award

The "You Probably Should Have Saved This Image When You Had the Chance Instead of Directly Linking to it" Award

The "Just Checking to See if You Were Paying Attention" Award

The "Your Site Made Worse Just by Displaying This Award, and in Fact no Longer Deserves it" Award

The "Kero is a Filthy Liar with Evil Eyes" Award