how
old r u?
I
prefer not to give out my age for fear that I may be judged based on it.
r u
gay?
Wha...?
What kind of a question is that?!
well
r u?
I
refuse to answer any questions from someone who can't even type out the
words "are" and "you."
oh so
tahts how it is. are you gay?
Get
someone else! I don't like these questions!
What
is your real name?
Much
like my age, I don't like to give out my real name either, though this
is mainly because I think it's a stupid name and also because I don't want
my parents to search for that name and find this site.
Yeah?
Well what kind of a stupid wussy gay name is "Roneldo?"
I'm
glad you asked that. You see, when I first chose the name "Roneldo,"
it was because America OnLine would not accept the name "Ronaldo," which I wanted for some reason, unless
I put an absurd number in it, and this was before they accepted "long"
screennames, so I chose to adopt an "e," and to tell the truth, I like
it better this way.
What?
...Even
so, when I chose the name "Roneldo" I had not considered the unfortunate possibility
that some might shorten it to something like "Ron," or even in one case,
"Ronnie."
Shut
up.
...Ahhh,
yes. I remember Ronnie, that kid who lived in the house on the other
side of the fence behind our house. He had the biggest collection
of toy guns I had ever seen. Of course, it was the only collection
of toy guns I had ever seen, but still, that was a lot.
I don't
care.
...I
remember how he and his friends would stand on the pile of pipes and cinderblocks
next to the fence to taunt us and throw things in our yard. If you
ever attempted to get him back in some way, he would warn you about his
cousin who was "fifteen years old" or even his dad, who was "a cop."
SHUT
UP! NO ONE CARES ABOUT RONNIE AND YOUR GOD DAMN FENCE, OKAY?!
I
don't think that qualifies as a question.
Fine,
fine. What's up with your colors? Are you fucking color-blind?
You
don't need to use such language. I chose the colours because I do
not have much to offer in the way of content, so I thought I might as well
make it pretty. I may have failed miserably, but at the very least
it's not bland.
Colours
colours. Why the hell do you have to put those 'U's in everything?
Are you trying to act cool by pretending you're Canadian?
This
might have something to do with my fascination with the English.
Having an English father, I was always told about things in ways
slightly different than other children, which may have helped me to not
become just another arrogant American.
Jeez,
why does everything have to be a damn biography with you?
I
have a question for you. Why are you so nasty?
I'm
not nasty, you're just such a fag that no one likes you.
What
is this obsession with "gay" all of you people have?! If you hate
something it's gay and anyone who disagrees with you is also gay?!
Pretty
much, yeah.
What
a pathetic FAQ this is turning out to be.
Did
you see the Yankee game last night?
Yankee
what? That's a descriptive term for someone from New England.
Baseball!
It's baseball, you dumbass!
Oh,
that? I don't like sports.
GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY!!! |
There you have it. I hope you enjoyed this FAQ because, well, I didn't.
This facking waste of time was compiled and loaded into the Salad Shooter on 4/8/00 by the moron currently known as Roneldo. And stuff.