Because when I want food, I want it small, uncooked, and through the mail. Right. But will it be enough? It's just so small, and I'm just so hungry (for fish)!
Oh, but what's this? I can get more? Oh, fun! I'll have myself quite a feast in six to eight weeks!
Hilarious. I love nothing more than a shirt with a funny sentence on it. Even better if there's a terribly drawn image accompanying it to raise the price ten dollars on an already overpriced garment that doesn't even have long sleeves. Yes, and not only do these twenty-year old jokes get funnier every time, now you can't even read them. If you thought people passing by weren't laughing at your shirt before... wow. And this offers a whole pile of new possibilities. Now you can buy a shirt that says "I hate you, go away" in Japanese, and then you can take a long bus ride, many, if necessary, until someone at last asks you what it says, and you can tell that person "I hate you, go away." Funny enough, right? But since you're on a bus, the other person can't go away, and will have no choice but to overpower the driver and stop the bus on a crowded highway, causing a massive automobile disaster, killing everyone involved. These things just keep getting better.
Hey, a ball on a string. And it has eyes. And lookie there, the upper half of some kind of action figure. You don't think that maybe this stuff is rare for a reason, do you? Like maybe no one wanted to buy them, so they stopped being made? Straight from Japan's 99 yen stores to you!
Because there's just not enough junk food in this country. This can't continue. It fills me with more American shame than usual to think that we must have our snacks imported. I dream of a day where every town can produce an amount of chicken nuggets equal to the population of India, and every gas station comes equipped with some variety of mart. A day when all cheese is orange and spelt with a z on the end, and we can pretend to not be killing ourselves eating it just because it tastes a bit worse and says lite on the packaging. This day has at last come. I shall call this day Every Day.
Wacky stuff like disembodied heads, you mean? Why pay top dollar for a severed Japanese head when for much less you could order a set (a whole set!) of Ginsu knives from the same place and decapitate as many people as you want?
I have neither sought to do dates nor wished that I had (that's unusual, yes, but I'll save that story for another day). Now I can simulate the whole thing and see what I'm missing. I'm sure it will be filled with awkward moments, unwanted children, econically crippling "gifts" demanded, and new, significantly more annoying family members to deal with. I can't wait.
I, for one, am abhorrent of Amelican society's almost puritanical need for volleyballs to be clothed at all times. Let our volleyballs be naked, I say!
I'm not entirely sure what is meant by this use of idol. Seeing as the people in question are not American, it's not the voting kind. And posessing an amount of dignity, I certainly don't want to be like them. I guess you buy these people and sacrifice raccoons to them or something.
Adult products. Well, we've already established that Japan trafficks in humans, so I guess by product they mean "people," and by adult they mean "not children." Make them mow your criminally-grass filled lawn, if you want.
Annnd... these things again. I think I'm detecting a theme which tells me the j-list target audience aren't especially social people. Unless you're of the opinion that these are not meant to be used, but just displayed. Ha ha ha, uproarious novelty items, right? A'doiy! If I ever see someone carrying one of these (in such a way that I can tell they are doing so), I'm just going to attack. Sure, I'll be beaten terribly and speedily, but for the rest of my life (which may vary, depending on the severity of said beating) I'll know that I at least attempted to do the right thing. Maybe now Spike Lee will notice me! I may be beaten again for that last sentence.
And this here is the abrupt end.