Yes, I spawned 11,231 bytes worth of web-page out of hatred for one ad-banner (alright, two, but they were for the same thing). Imagine what I could do with a real tragedy. I keep hoping for one!

Because when I want food, I want it small, uncooked, and through the mail. Right. But will it be enough? It's just so small, and I'm just so hungry (for fish)! Oh, but what's this? I can get more? Oh, fun! I'll have myself quite a feast in six to eight weeks! Hilarious. I love nothing more than a shirt with a funny sentence on it. Even better if there's a terribly drawn image accompanying it to raise the price ten dollars on an already overpriced garment that doesn't even have long sleeves. Yes, and not only do these twenty-year old jokes get funnier every time, now you can't even read them. If you thought people passing by weren't laughing at your shirt before... wow. And this offers a whole pile of new possibilities. Now you can buy a shirt that says "I hate you, go away" in Japanese, and then you can take a long bus ride, many, if necessary, until someone at last asks you what it says, and you can tell that person "I hate you, go away." Funny enough, right? But since you're on a bus, the other person can't go away, and will have no choice but to overpower the driver and stop the bus on a crowded highway, causing a massive automobile disaster, killing everyone involved. These things just keep getting better. Hey, a ball on a string. And it has eyes. And lookie there, the upper half of some kind of action figure. You don't think that maybe this stuff is rare for a reason, do you? Like maybe no one wanted to buy them, so they stopped being made? Straight from Japan's 99 yen stores to you! Because there's just not enough junk food in this country. This can't continue. It fills me with more American shame than usual to think that we must have our snacks imported. I dream of a day where every town can produce an amount of chicken nuggets equal to the population of India, and every gas station comes equipped with some variety of mart. A day when all cheese is orange and spelt with a z on the end, and we can pretend to not be killing ourselves eating it just because it tastes a bit worse and says “lite” on the packaging. This day has at last come. I shall call this day Every Day. Wacky stuff like disembodied heads, you mean? Why pay top dollar for a severed Japanese head when for much less you could order a set (a whole set!) of Ginsu knives from the same place and decapitate as many people as you want? I have neither sought to do dates nor wished that I had (that's unusual, yes, but I'll save that story for another day). Now I can simulate the whole thing and see what I'm missing. I'm sure it will be filled with awkward moments, unwanted children, econically crippling "gifts" demanded, and new, significantly more annoying family members to deal with. I can't wait. I, for one, am abhorrent of Amelican society's almost puritanical need for volleyballs to be clothed at all times. Let our volleyballs be naked, I say! I'm not entirely sure what is meant by this use of “idol.” Seeing as the people in question are not American, it's not the voting kind. And posessing an amount of dignity, I certainly don't want to be like them. I guess you buy these people and sacrifice raccoons to them or something. Adult products. Well, we've already established that Japan trafficks in humans, so I guess by product they mean "people," and by adult they mean "not children." Make them mow your criminally-grass filled lawn, if you want. Annnd... these things again. I think I'm detecting a theme which tells me the j-list target audience aren't especially social people. Unless you're of the opinion that these are not meant to be used, but just displayed. Ha ha ha, uproarious novelty items, right? A'doiy! If I ever see someone carrying one of these (in such a way that I can tell they are doing so), I'm just going to attack. Sure, I'll be beaten terribly and speedily, but for the rest of my life (which may vary, depending on the severity of said beating) I'll know that I at least attempted to do the right thing. Maybe now Spike Lee will notice me! I may be beaten again for that last sentence. And this here is the abrupt end.

Limited Horizontally to Make Larger Vertically, yet Still Not Big Enough to Fill Whole Page, Even With the Bigger Font, Hard to Read Sidebar Actual Japanese people, culture, and stuffs I have no general grievance with. Even if my link leading here implied that I did. I'm sure I would if I lived there, but for now it's the recent western attempts to embrace and imitate such things in excess I'll be complaining about. I am sick of anything-kun. I read once that it means "friend." No kuns are my friends! (but besides them, I will take what I can get at this point.) I feel much the same way about chans. I always thought Chan was supposed to be a Chinese name. Believe me, it's hard enough telling Japanese from Chinese products, and such name-swapping only makes it worse. I'm sick of worthless hacks getting praise for their artistic nontalent just because everything they make has eyes really far apart and a really small mouth with the ability to spontaneously grow to eight times it's own size. I'm also sick of seeing that same badly drawn head on a needlessly over detailed body and being called manga. I'm sick of those private school uniforms at least one character will be wearing. I'm sick of really pointy hair in colors Ronald McDonald wouldn't even consider. Additionally, I'm sick of the words kawaii, otaku, hentai, bishounen (however the bimp they're spelled), and doubtlessly many others I'm glad I can't remember. I would like these words formally added to the English language, just so I can demand to have them purged from it. I'm sick of rice. I'm even sick of Chinese rice, that's how bad it is. I'm sick of humanoid robots, and I'm sick of giant humanoid robots. I'm sick of ^_____^. I'm also sick of :), but I'm saving that for my upcoming anti-sideways page. I will, however, reserve special space here for <g>, just because I still can't figure out what it's supposed to look like. I'm sick of fur covered animals with human faces. Likewise, I am sick of dolls which depict them. I do not know what they are called, so I cannot find a picture of one. Fortunately. Note that these are different from the fur covered humans with animal heads I have hated on other pages. I do not think those are exclusively from Japan, even if the lerds who claim to be one wish they were. I am sick of J-pop. I've never heard it, but I have heard regular pop, and to prefix it with j isn't fooling me. I'm sick of no one under the age of 14 being allowed to wear long pants. I'm sick of that guy who says “hello moto” for the sole purpose of sounding bad englishy so nerds will buy whatever it is that he's trying to sell. Any effort to make broken English mainstream and acceptable, I am sick of. I say this after spending forty-five minutes at the allegedly not-terrible site of one “home-star runner” and not getting the joke, before realizing there was none. I'm sick of Tomagotcheese and tomagotchi ripoffs five years ago. I'm sick of any characters who can grow and retract phallic organs to suit the situation. I'm sick of robot fish. They don't do anything. Real fish don't do anything either (so to make a robot emulate this is no accomplishment), but some of them are pretty, at least. Not so with the robots. They all have to be painted grey so people will know they are robots. Giant fish robots I shall be sick of in advance.

What do you know, Disney finally realized Japan sells. It only took them what, like eight years?