Revenge

This is the first time i've been ever been relieved to see a thq logo. You don't know some of the multi-lingual nonviolent Game Factory horrors I've seen. Babar was involved and that should tell you enough. Even if somehow it has happened that you like badly drawn elephants who wear green suits and cheap crowns at all times I doubt you could think of anything exciting that's happened to Babar lately that would be at all entertaining to press buttons in regard to.
Why? Am I due to grow some more heads?

And if somehow you could you'd be especially disappointed to learn that the video game has Babar just hopping around collecting crowns instead. So this page is about something else.

That logo had better not be smiling at me.

That logo had better not be smiling at me.

Hello Hasbro. When did you get here? Here, let me fix something for you.
Give me back my lime wedge! That is MY property!

I think you accidentally set one of your edge-smoothing grays to white, creating a rather jagged and non-smooth appearance. Wow, were you just walking around like that? Somebody should have told you. Don't worry about it, though. No biggie.

Well to be precise, webbed toes are biology, not technology.

Well to be precise, webbed toes are biology, not technology.

Oh, gee. Is it 1997 already? YOUR 4 COLOR LOGO IS DITHERED! I would not trust you to do anything, much less advertise your services! I should not have expected anything respectable from duck sympathizers. I ought to turn off this game right now, Babar or not! But I won't, because...

Harboring a runaway rainbow is a misdemeanor in most states.

Harboring a runaway rainbow is a misdemeanor in most states.

...I hate myself.

This is far from acceptable.

No language select, but credits at the title screen is just as suspect. Actually, it's probably the only thing worse. It means nobody who made it expects anyone who plays it to ever see the end, and it additionally means that despite such a circumstance, they're the sort of people who would still be proud enough of the product to have their names on it.

You'll never get a promotion if you keep beating up your bosses, kirby!

You'll never get a promotion if you keep beating up your bosses, kirby!

See, language select can be used for good.

Foul! This new game is the same as last time!

And again with the mad dithering. If you know you're making graphics for a game boy advance game, why not draw them from the beginning at 240x160 resolution with a 256 color limit? It is only logical. Nobody wants a poster sized print of your fiberglass castle next to big green semicircles.
That's not stylish dithering, either. This just looks like you put it through Paint Shop Pro, which is what I use.

Surely somebody at Web-Foot picked up a copy of photoshop at some point in the past twelve years! I know this! That's how many years I've been seeing that cheap watermark effect!

And what, no battery save? I have to memorize passwords? Man, I hope this My Little Pony game isn't totally lamo!

Only if she's a Deedle.

Wow, lookit that! I'm halfway done already! And if I actually turn to the page the bookmark is on I'll be even more done! Maybe this won't be so bad!

It looks like you already have more than you need.

It looks like you already have more than you need.

NO! I FORGOT TO STUDY! I'M DOOOOOOOMED!

Al Roker gets mobbed every time he visits.

You have no idea how glad I am. Sometimes I just want to kill myself, this place is such a drag. Just one more miserable, mundane day here in Unicornia, that'd be it.

Caterpillars, you have the right to say NO.

Caterpillars, you have the right to say NO.

Oh, happy! I wish my name was Rarity. And so for the remainder of this page it shall be.

''Help! I'm drowning!''

Ew!

Yay! 21 points! Approval! I have overcome my initial shame at tossing anatomically negligent bugs with my nose excretions. You have inspired me to try again. Whoa, them's some nice candleholders...

''AHHHH! MY THORAX!''

Oh, oh, how I have erred! 0 points for me!

I don't trust any window with a mustache like that.

No it wasn't! You weren't even watching, were you! I thought I mattered to you!

Oh, may I?

And what choo lookin' at me handbag for? I ain't paying you nuh-in! I'm so mad, I'm going to go pick a fight with somebody.

''I am the secretary of symmetry!''

Do you quarrel, sir!

''Behold my true power!''

You needn't pretend to be rabid, my friend. My nasal senses are so keen I can smell your fear as easily as I toss caterpillars.

You should see a doctor about that rash.

You should see a doctor about that rash.

I... I... don't know! I've never actually thought much about it. Gosh, I certainly hope I'm ready! Why, did you hear something? Oh scrod, you saw me tossing caterpillars with my mega mucus, didn't you!

After I find Erdrick's Sword!

Uh actually I'm the rainbow princess so you can find your own dumb ribbons.
What a coincidence, though. Babar also kept dropping his stuff. It's these tiny screens, man! It limits our vision and we lose sight of things so easily.

I still think we should stop using typewriters.

I still think we should stop using typewriters.

I noticed! And drat! I didn't want to do this!

Great on you as a STATUE, that is! Ha ha, it is I, Peripheral Vision Medusa!

I'm kind of busy, actually. You know, we look exactly the same, I'm sure you'd do just as well.

''I see eggs!''

Why is this timed? Gah, I came here to get dressed up, not stressed up! Ach, ach, too many decisions! And I still have to find the other ribbons and learn to make a rainbow and hide the body of that yellow ruffian from the hallway! I can't do it! I can't do it!

Why complicate things if you can get away with being naked?

Why complicate things if you can get away with being naked?

I've never been more proud.

''Step aside, palette-swapped weakling! The Dragonlord awaits!''

I have decided to keep them.

Dost thou love me, Brights Brightly?

No! I'm a princess now! I'm a princess! You have to say pretty please!

I thought I was a pony!

I didn't WANT to, but mumblemumble...

Marking land mines isn't really 'decorating.'

Well that's your fault for planning poorly. This is your job and you're doing it badly. Once I am queen you are out out out!

Who built that house?

And meanwhile you just wait there and smirk at the camera, stupid blue goat.

Who built any of this stuff, for that matter?

Finally, someone who doesn't judge me!

And doesn't anybody around here own a comb?

I thought I was, but now I'm not sure. it's a lot of hard work!
And by the way, you will address me as "Your Majesty" and never ever with an informal salutation the likes of "hi," unlearned peasant. And how dare you hold your horn above mine! You will swear allegiance or face the gallows!

That sack of flour on the table is endorsed by God.

That sack of flour on the table is endorsed by God.

WHY HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING THIS FLAG FROM ME? I thought I COULD TRUST YOU! CHEERILEE YOU ARE DEAD TO ME! I RAISE MY WRIST TO SHAME YOU!

Probably.

You can walk, can't you? Why not come down off your high ~~horse~~ self and visit your subjects once in a while? Down with the establishment! Crush the old order and create a new society! But remember your princess.

Uh, it's this way, dude. Unless you mean to go backward to the castle.

Uh, it's this way, dude. Unless you mean to go backward to the castle.

You just watched me go there and come back! I... I can't even stand to look at you.

I've never seen you more disgusted and full of indignation.

Watch your language. That's a negative remark! And what, in this land of rainbows and stars and glitter possibly made the carriage so yuck-like that you would find cause to remark upon it?

But the bubbles are peace loving folk!

Bubble fight.

Now that I think of it, that's really more a wagon than a carriage and a different diagnosis may be in order.

I'm not at privelege to explain to you how recklessly hurling bubbles from a bucket I hide in my rectal capacity is cleaning the carriage outside the swarth of destruction which probably needs to be vigorously scrubbed anyhow but I welcome the chance to throw junk at these layabout string-pullers. Don't you see? Those tatooed harlots are trying to destroy me! They let that other blue infidel get away!

How many Fisher Price pianos were slaughtered to make those stairs?

How many Fisher Price pianos were slaughtered to make those stairs?

Are you two even trying to hit me? I should give up intentionally just to help their self esteem. They can't even hold the buckets properly.

Barbarian!

Losing bubble fight was the hardest thing I've ever done. Just like them, making me do all the work. Once that hag Cheerilee dies I will toss them to the ~~lions~~ sparklekitties.

These curved railingless steps with a big dumb carriage at the end are going to make one lawyer very happy some day.

These curved railingless steps with a big dumb carriage at the end are going to make one lawyer very happy some day.

What are those things? This whole time pressing up and down has merely shown horizontal movement animation. I am unprepared to be seeing horse hindquarters, much less ones I can only assume are still clenching buckets. It would weigh less on my mind if you told me they mutated into confetti squids. I have to go lie down. I will be in my chambers.

Where were you keeping that?

Eh, you're still here? Even after my harsh wrist-shunning? Thanks but no thanks, Ted Turner. I have appreciation for the original intent of the artist.

Why? You've already given me approval.

Ooh, that's right! I forgot I don't get a say in anything! I'm only the PRINCESS, after all!

It's rather a bit more like violet or fuchsia, I must say.

THE WHOLE PICTURE MUST BE PINK LIKE MEEEE

You win a pine cone.

What did I do? Oh log, what have I done?

Otherwise Sleipnir will be angered and rain down his vengeance upon us, exterminating ponykind for eternity.

You mean the carriage I just cleaned for you? That wasn't enough? I am a pink pony princess, not some dumb ol brown carriage-hauling workhorse. And I just had a very intense bubble fight! More like a bubble war! And I colored so many stars! Give me some space! I'm not ready! I'M NOT READY TO BE A RAINBOW PRINCESS!

You also need a new decorator in here, girlfriend.

You also need a new decorator in here, girlfriend.

Of course you do, lazy cow. Yeah, I said it! Sure, bring in all yer friends! I'll take on alla yez! I am the greatest bubble warrior! You're nothing without me! When I'm gone you'll be sorrrrr-eeeeee! You'll never find your flags now!

Have you considered looking in directions other than directly at me?

Have you considered looking in directions other than directly at me?

Too bad your SLAVE isn't here!

You seem satisfied with that idea.

That's the most initiative you've shown all day. It's your fault that treasonous common haired rogue still roams free!

This is getting me nowhere. Maybe the password will help me after all to access more critical matters, ideally concerning folks without icicles jutting from their foreheads who know how to behave before royalty.

Who let that bland serifed font in here?

Who let that bland serifed font in here?

What? Albatross is a great password! How dare you deny me! Me, Princess Rarity! I struggle to grasp how a kingdom so easily thrown into chaos by misplaced ribbons or a soiled carriage has such great security.

Don't tell Betty White.

You know, that password makes much more sense. Forgive my outburst.

Or Regis Philbin, for that matter.

Recording that password is both more challenging and fun than anything you've yet asked me to do. The three different companies that brought this into existence should just make a password simulator.

I can't see anything! Turn on some lights, why don't ya!

I can't see anything! Turn on some lights, why don't ya!

Eh, I've seen enough.

Alas, you get what you need.

Gah! Yes'm!