This is the first time i've been ever been relieved to see a thq logo. You don't know some of the multi-lingual nonviolent Game Factory horrors I've seen. Babar was involved and that should tell you enough. Even if somehow it has happened that you like badly drawn elephants who wear green suits and cheap crowns at all times I doubt you could think of anything exciting that's happened to Babar lately that would be at all entertaining to press buttons in regard to.

And if somehow you could you'd be especially disappointed to learn that the video game has Babar just hopping around collecting crowns instead. So this page is about something else.

Hello Hasbro. When did you get here? Here, let me fix something for you.

I think you accidentally set one of your edge-smoothing grays to white, creating a rather jagged and non-smooth appearance. Wow, were you just walking around like that? Somebody should have told you. Don't worry about it, though. No biggie.

Oh, gee. Is it 1997 already? YOUR 4 COLOR LOGO IS DITHERED! I would not trust you to do anything, much less advertise your services! I should not have expected anything respectable from duck sympathizers. I ought to turn off this game right now, Babar or not! But I won't, because...

...I hate myself.

No language select, but credits at the title screen is just as suspect. Actually, it's probably the only thing worse. It means nobody who made it expects anyone who plays it to ever see the end, and it additionally means that despite such a circumstance, they're the sort of people who would still be proud enough of the product to have their names on it.

See, language select can be used for good.

And again with the mad dithering. If you know you're making graphics for a game boy advance game, why not draw them from the beginning at 240x160 resolution with a 256 color limit? It is only logical. Nobody wants a poster sized print of your fiberglass castle next to big green semicircles.
That's not stylish dithering, either. This just looks like you put it through Paint Shop Pro, which is what I use.
Surely somebody at Web-Foot picked up a copy of photoshop at some point in the past twelve years! I know this! That's how many years I've been seeing that cheap watermark effect!

And what, no battery save? I have to memorize passwords? Man, I hope this My Little Pony game isn't totally lamo!

Wow, lookit that! I'm halfway done already! And if I actually turn to the page the bookmark is on I'll be even more done! Maybe this won't be so bad!


You have no idea how glad I am. Sometimes I just want to kill myself, this place is such a drag. Just one more miserable, mundane day here in Unicornia, that'd be it.

Oh, happy! I wish my name was Rarity. And so for the remainder of this page it shall be.


Yay! 21 points! Approval! I have overcome my initial shame at tossing anatomically negligent bugs with my nose excretions. You have inspired me to try again. Whoa, them's some nice candleholders...

Oh, oh, how I have erred! 0 points for me!

No it wasn't! You weren't even watching, were you! I thought I mattered to you!

And what choo lookin' at me handbag for? I ain't paying you nuh-in! I'm so mad, I'm going to go pick a fight with somebody.

Do you quarrel, sir!

You needn't pretend to be rabid, my friend. My nasal senses are so keen I can smell your fear as easily as I toss caterpillars.

I... I... don't know! I've never actually thought much about it. Gosh, I certainly hope I'm ready! Why, did you hear something? Oh scrod, you saw me tossing caterpillars with my mega mucus, didn't you!

Uh actually I'm the rainbow princess so you can find your own dumb ribbons.
What a coincidence, though. Babar also kept dropping his stuff. It's these tiny screens, man! It limits our vision and we lose sight of things so easily.

I noticed! And drat! I didn't want to do this!

I'm kind of busy, actually. You know, we look exactly the same, I'm sure you'd do just as well.

Why is this timed? Gah, I came here to get dressed up, not stressed up! Ach, ach, too many decisions! And I still have to find the other ribbons and learn to make a rainbow and hide the body of that yellow ruffian from the hallway! I can't do it! I can't do it!

I've never been more proud.

I have decided to keep them.

No! I'm a princess now! I'm a princess! You have to say pretty please!

I didn't WANT to, but mumblemumble...

Well that's your fault for planning poorly. This is your job and you're doing it badly. Once I am queen you are out out out!

And meanwhile you just wait there and smirk at the camera, stupid blue goat.

Finally, someone who doesn't judge me!

I thought I was, but now I'm not sure. it's a lot of hard work!
And by the way, you will address me as "Your Majesty" and never ever with an informal salutation the likes of "hi," unlearned peasant. And how dare you hold your horn above mine! You will swear allegiance or face the gallows!


You can walk, can't you? Why not come down off your high horse self and visit your subjects once in a while? Down with the establishment! Crush the old order and create a new society! But remember your princess.

You just watched me go there and come back! I... I can't even stand to look at you.

Watch your language. That's a negative remark! And what, in this land of rainbows and stars and glitter possibly made the carriage so yuck-like that you would find cause to remark upon it?

Bubble fight.

I'm not at privelege to explain to you how recklessly hurling bubbles from a bucket I hide in my rectal capacity is cleaning the carriage outside the swarth of destruction which probably needs to be vigorously scrubbed anyhow but I welcome the chance to throw junk at these layabout string-pullers. Don't you see? Those tatooed harlots are trying to destroy me! They let that other blue infidel get away!

Are you two even trying to hit me? I should give up intentionally just to help their self esteem. They can't even hold the buckets properly.

Losing bubble fight was the hardest thing I've ever done. Just like them, making me do all the work. Once that hag Cheerilee dies I will toss them to the lions sparklekitties.

What are those things? This whole time pressing up and down has merely shown horizontal movement animation. I am unprepared to be seeing horse hindquarters, much less ones I can only assume are still clenching buckets. It would weigh less on my mind if you told me they mutated into confetti squids. I have to go lie down. I will be in my chambers.

Eh, you're still here? Even after my harsh wrist-shunning? Thanks but no thanks, Ted Turner. I have appreciation for the original intent of the artist.

Ooh, that's right! I forgot I don't get a say in anything! I'm only the PRINCESS, after all!


What did I do? Oh log, what have I done?

You mean the carriage I just cleaned for you? That wasn't enough? I am a pink pony princess, not some dumb ol brown carriage-hauling workhorse. And I just had a very intense bubble fight! More like a bubble war! And I colored so many stars! Give me some space! I'm not ready! I'M NOT READY TO BE A RAINBOW PRINCESS!

Of course you do, lazy cow. Yeah, I said it! Sure, bring in all yer friends! I'll take on alla yez! I am the greatest bubble warrior! You're nothing without me! When I'm gone you'll be sorrrrr-eeeeee! You'll never find your flags now!

Too bad your SLAVE isn't here!

That's the most initiative you've shown all day. It's your fault that treasonous common haired rogue still roams free!

This is getting me nowhere. Maybe the password will help me after all to access more critical matters, ideally concerning folks without icicles jutting from their foreheads who know how to behave before royalty.

What? Albatross is a great password! How dare you deny me! Me, Princess Rarity! I struggle to grasp how a kingdom so easily thrown into chaos by misplaced ribbons or a soiled carriage has such great security.

You know, that password makes much more sense. Forgive my outburst.

Recording that password is both more challenging and fun than anything you've yet asked me to do. The three different companies that brought this into existence should just make a password simulator.

Eh, I've seen enough.

Gah! Yes'm!