This page should lead to other pages I've made. If it doesn't, then it will have to be punished, won't it. These pages consist of much the same sort of thing as that of the page I presume you came here from, except with less pictures and more words, or more pictures and less words, but never both. And then the ones toward the end that are only here because I made them before establishing the criteria for a thing getting its own page. This is the part where you ask yourself: “How bored am I?” Hey, aren't these some big letters?

Sneeze Green Muc-Eyes More "actual people I've met" stories. You will either like this page a bit or hate it a lot. 01-28-2006

Mall Blandness Last, and surely least, in my obscure "Mall word-substituted-for-mad in pathetic reference to a board game most people have never heard of _ness " series. Unless I make another. It's here if you want it. And even if you don't. 07-20-2005

Hooray, more words Another thing I wrote for some class I was in. What sort of instructor would let me get college credit for writing nonsense like this? The same one as before and beforer. 01/05/05

Mall Egadness I don't go shopping to buy things, just to take pictures of them. Yeth, so it is the exact same thing I do on this mainish page, just with traces of a consistent theme. And... I want to die. I'll see you in another three months. 9/22/04

Jope, Dopes, and Other Related Topics Which Don't Rhyme Hopefully the last time I will mention any of this for quite a while. This should never have been a page. It has sinned and must die. That, however, deserves a page. I take many pictures, and don't use most of them. This is why. 6/27/04

These Green Eyesores My imaginary lawyer has advised me to point out that this only refers to my digital camera's perception of them, and also that although I avoided making any mention of them, the songs aren't really that bad. There. But I'm still not going to leave my house anymore. That's just asking for trouble, I understand that now. I'm going to dig a hole and live there. FIND ME. 4/24/04

I want my baby, hour-and-a-half back [ribs] I went to Chili's about a year ago, wrote about it, and forgot. Yes, just like Denny's. All right, the truth is, due ue to a complicated legal conundrum, when I visit a restaurant I am not permitted to divulge the details until a year later. I didn't even attempt to make that statement amusing to me, so it must be true. 4/01/04

Bimshwel Miami even though i didn't go there The amazing almost true story of how I murdered a man with only my hands and spent the rest of my life in prison and how these two things were totally unrelated. Despite what the Welcome Center's brochure would have you believe, there's plenty of ways to be miserable in Florida outside of Orlando. 3/7/04 A wholly needless, I expect, link to the second part.

My favorite color is gay mauve! Er... Even the Konami code couldn't save this one. I haven't seen it, no, because it hasn't premiered yet, and even if it had I'd be too busy writing pages about how I hate it in advance to find the time. If this program is supposed to be so video game like, why do I have my page for it over here? And why do I ask me questions I'm not prepared to answer? This page could be better. So could the show. Oh, snap. 3/2/04

McDenny's I've been to Denny's a few times. How about you? I wrote most of this one over a year ago. I really don't have much to say about it now. 1/9/04

Mall orneryness Some people shouldn't be allowed to own digital cameras. I can handle having one, I just shouldn't be allowed to use it. This page's events only happened about three days before the date I've listed. I still don't have much to say about it. So I guess the time elapsed is irrelevant. Bah, forget I brought it up. 1/6/04

Another page in which I complain about movies I'm not going to see. I just told you. 11/14/03

Are You on the Crack to School A page about fashion. This is not fashion in the MacGyver sense of the word :“I fashion a crude bomb out of a paper clip, some tin foil and a bigger bomb,” unfortunately. However, the sentence is easily extended “...to destroy people who create stupid styles of fashion.” There we go. 9/14/03

Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso. Hopefully this is the last page that I will mention not liking Disney or not liking computer-generated characters on. Not that I hate mentioning how negatively I enjoy those two things, but I want to get away from it while I still remember it not fondly. There's just so many things to not like in the world; why should I dwell on the same things all the time? 6/14/03

Because I wasn't alienating people fast enough I hate Japan, except for the video games. Very much unlike France. You might be surprised to learn that I get through this whole page without mentioning Pokaymon once. Not so surprised that you'd notice, which is why I'm telling you right here. 6/3/03

Vive la something or other You know what France, I like you. You're not like the other shock-and-awe opposed European nations here, in the trailer park. 3/31/03

Domino's named “official pizza of Nascar” Nascar named “official people driving really fast of Domino's.” 3/16/03

Luciano Pavarotti's guide to the internet Half-truths and non-truths in a wholly unresearched tirade about the browsers who've wronged me. For someone who used to fear being misjudged through use of broad, sweeping generalizations as much as I did, it seems odd that those are pretty much the only kind of statement I make here. 2/23/03

Have I solved a puzzle, or just lost my mind? Dangling that baby was the best career decision Michael Jackson ever made. 2/16/03

Hate, free speech, and cold hard cash. More incoherence. Or should that be less coherence? At least it's better than the door page. 2/05/03

I hate because I love But not the things I hate. 1/23/03

Some things you never knew about doors This one even bores me. 1/whenever/03

NO CBS tries their dadadadadadarnedest to convince me that they are a worse network than ABC. 12/11/02

Film Critics. I hate them. I don't really hate Gene Shalit so much, It's more likely I pity him. I just thought I needed a picture like this to undo the one above it. And yes, terms such as “pogspammed” and “great gimpity” were indeed present in the initial versions I wrote for a composition class. 10/15/02

Coconuts. I hate those as well. Well, I do. I have no excuse for this picture, however. 10/14/02