Get... Ouoooooooot!

Show it to someone else.  I'm not interested.
Spice World
At least it's better than a dope.  I hope... nope.
The trainwreck for people who can't afford train tickets

December 2006, ya dope.


The deviantly attired traitor pig of ancient folklore still lives! Though while off the sign it wears differently colored incomplete clothing and is no longer positioned to watch those betrayed and forsaken suffer in the cleansing flames, I would recognize that fiend in most places. I just wish I didn't have to.



Tuesday, December 05, 2006
And now, thanks to a strange twist of fate, this futuristic society will be visited by the four Ninja Turtles

If you have not already heard it, I invite you to, regardless of your customs and traditions, receive an inspirational holiday greeting from The Mad Dome Gettaz.

As for the claim that they have been CENSORED, it's actually not as bad as they're going on about. Merely a name was removed because whoever owned it complained, I guess. We can infer from the context that it rhymes with "NOEL." I must then only surmise it was former Connecticut senator and governor, Lowell Weicker. He is surely still sensitive due to the searing humiliation he suffered from the Joe Lieberman attack ad which showed him as a wounded, seemingly brain-tumorous bear sending Ned Lamont out to do his bidding.

Apparently Joe Lieberman's friends have been unemployed for quite some time.
Yes, the man who approved this message is our senator for another six years.





Page 53 (wink) of this. Maybe I should just not make backgrounds.



I promise this will be the last youtube-whining-about entry I make. This year. Unless something else comes up.

UNTIL IT DIES

That'll show 'em. This hard to read, indescribably pretensious, needlessly animated and mpegged message is just the creative and effective problem solving method we need more of. It is complaining about the recent mass incineration of Colbert Report and Daily Show clips in the you tubes. There are other video websites out there, though probably with the same policies. So why single out the you-doofs to get your hot bullet points of whining? If you aren't willing to acknowledge alternatives, you shouldn't be surprised when your barely legal if at all shenanigans get sniffed out. I've found that the only things which stay on the internet forever are of a personally embarrassing nature.

I remember when the International House of Roms was shut down, I didn't just complain about it; I looked for more rom sites. Eventually I found Emu Russia and Edge Emulation, and you'd be surprised how the time it takes to sort and upload 6000 NES games plus idiot hacks compares with that of a couple motion nuggets. Of course I was able to keep all the roms thitherto that point acquired on my computer, and so not be dependent, even during my interim wandering period, upon any site for me to continue getting what I already had. Ehhh, but it wouldn't quite critically maim you to look through your browser cache every once in a while and download an FLV player. What did you buy an 80 gigabyte hard drive for?


Oh, right. Basic word processing. That doesn't even include bold or italic print. At 60 gigabytes you can barely afford capital letters. So of course you can't hold on to big video files, not even in your entry level. Please forgive my ignorance. Yiapers, I should know better than anyone, the computer I got this year only has a 30GB1 drive, and I have to transfer all these web pages from my teletype machine.

I still remember when entire websites would get ceased and made to desist just for having The Simpsons logos on them. I guess the thought pattern then was "if people know they can get static, eyesoringly compressed pictures of random moments from it on the internet for free, they'll never watch the real TV show again!" The FOX people stopped when they realized their quest was impossible/totally retarded.

I think with time companies will give up trying to purge the most widely known sections of the internet of contextless, tiny-screened, sub-bootleg quality video clips too, but if they don't, it's really no huge loss. It's when they start seeking out original content that we should worry, even if most of that is trash, too.

I've seen a couple enjoyable copyrighted clips through this system, and none of them were from shows still getting made. I also know I don't need to tell you about them because chances are most websites you look at are trying to direct you toward some. But ehhh, I find my desire for Daily Show content is satiated by actual Daily Show content. I only get truly annoyed when I miss a show as well as its subsequent re-airings, and a couple month old isolated moments won't help that.

I love the Daily Show. However, as far as minor annoyances are concerned, I don't always like the way it tries to prove a politician wrong with a contradictory sound bit that's six years old –There's a difference between being a hypocrite and changing one's mind (you call it “flip-flopping”)– but I've certainly worked with less here. Also questionable, the writers' tendency to, even at sub-Al Franken levels, dwell on past events of really minimal immediate relevance, such as the case of the Mission Accomplished banner being displayed on a big boat several weeks into the multi-year Iraq war. I realize the importance of having this be remembered as one of the iconic, summarizing stupid moments of Bush 2's presidency, and I'm sure it will be, but it's hard to find fault with idiots still griping over Bill Clinton's largely less-bad-than-Bush scandals when this one is less than that.

As for the Stephen Colbert Report, I am wary of its Maddox-like hold over stupid fans who don't really get the joke, but so far they've only harrassed a couple wiki nerds into locking elephant related articles and not quite gotten a Hungarian bridge renamed, so that's not so bad. There shouldn't be a problem as long as you stay away from the appropriate message boards, which you should anyway. I remember someone telling me that I should try posting at the Colbert Nation, the show's official fake fan site, but I knew to not even try, because everyone would either be copying the titular Steve's character or sincerely whining about democrats, and there'd be no way to tell them apart, nor a reason to, all of them being fundamentally humorless twits. And if they're actually good people I'd surely do something to make them hate me anyway. I will find a way.



I'm so extraordinarily dysfunctional that I invent new ways of bothering people, without even trying. I regularly commit the online equivelant of Michael Jackson's baby dangling (which, by the way, I hear is the title of one of Sega's Game Boy Advance remakes).

DVD bonus alternate ending:



Excuse me, Mr. Book Jacket, could you direct me to the Maddox Mania?



Tuesday, December 12, 2006
I wake up in the morning and I step outside, take a deep breath and I kick real high

When I said that the Boomerang television channel cancelled Pokemon, I meant that it cancelled "my" Pokemon. Apparently, when a cartoon is anything but a smashing merchandisable hitskadew, it is ended very quickly. Otherwise, one phone call to Korea later, there are 400 episodes. Pokemon is in the lattery category. Shows from what I presume to be the first year had been appearing two at a time, in order, each day. It is my belief three at a time could have fit snugly in the space, if the redundant instances of the theme song, pointless "you're watching Pokemon on the channel whose logo is in the corner!" reminders and embarrassing, also redundant catch 'em catch em gotta catch 'em all segments were removed. Considering that the network operates without outside advertising and the breaks which are there aren't long enough to use the toilet during, I don't think that's too much to ask.

But these things, they are not my problem now, for on one of those days (specifically, the last day) everything stopped. I know it's not one of the greatest shows ever, but I'm certainly more likely to watch that than The Amazing Chan Clan. A greater insult brought about by the lineup change, though not one which directly affects my unpleasant habits:


SNORKS. And smurfs, but mostly snorks. This occurred mere days after I called The Snorks out on being so awful. Who do they think they are? Some things other than snorks? Just because they air across two boxes from 'Tis So Raven doesn't excuse them. They had 20 years to get better, and it's much more socially acceptable to make offensive TV these days, besides. I watched one snork, just because it is now my "policy" to endure at least one episode of a tv show I state a sincere loathing for that other people claim to like. I still have not seen a CSI, but I have observed endings to Law and Order and wanted to punch everyone. And I still hate snorks, too. I would like to join them, but I am too different. It would not work.

Also, are people more likely to listen to these stupid noises if I have them as wavs instead of mp3s? It appears that I am assuming that.

Mo' Poke: By the video game's standards, Ash is a horrible Pokomon trainer. I'm sure this has been noted in the appropriate forums ("forum" used in the vague sense of all publically accessable locations where thoughts are expressed and not the specific thing on the internet called "forum," in which as little thought is desired as possible), but for my own health I try not to read too many of the words on websites devoted to things I like. It may be interesting to note that this is true regardless of whether the writer agrees with me or doesn't. But eh, Ash, if he knew what he was doing, he'd just have Pikachu zap birds for three hours and go up so many levels that all foes fall in one hit regardless of what their weaknesses are and it would be boring, and the only way to lose would be what? Unjudgable god opponents, the apparent trademark of epic annimay. I wrote some angry complaint about that phenomenomeon a long time ago, but I found it just now in a pile of unfinished things I've written. I meant to finish the things, but then I forgot about the list. Just pretend this is on a three year old page so I don't feel obligated to attempt improving it:

I don't understand the dragonball z battle system. First there'll be a major, master villain who flattens the hero with one punch. Fine. Then, over time, the hero becomes powerful enough to take this punch and deliver his own. Again, fine. But then another villain appears who totally disregards that and again lays out the hero with one hit. And then the cycle goes on and on until I can no longer believe hero could make the slightest contact with his weakling friends or any earth objects without sending them into orbit. Unless he forgets all his skills every time he wins, like he's Megaman or something. Or rather, I suppose Megaman is like him, because most of those cartoons were made around 1986 and not translated until ten years later. By the way, if George "Dubbaya" Bush gets reelected I'm moving to Canada and Matrix Revolutions is gonna be sooooo ooawesome and

I hate that. Thankfully, Ash only wins most matches because something improbable yet not frustratingly so occurs. I can't imagine that remaining endurable for nine years, but I'm not asking for that. I just want to see episodes up to the point where the theme song changes, Brock's amazing eyelessbrows migrate nearer to his forehead, Misty gets eaten by that midget who wears glasses and all the ugly Aztec temple decoration-looking Pokemon I don't recognize start showing up.


What the lunch are these things? (Besides ridiculously out of scale) Maybe their designs are more creative than those which came before them, but they don't look like anythings I could be friends with.

But eh, if "they" started the series from the beginning again just to please me (they wouldn't, but shut up) I probably wouldn't watch for two weeks because I've already seen that far, and by then they'd say "we will not fall for this person's tricks again!" and stop once more. How shall dare they! I will hate them.

I did watch the Pokemon cartoon intermittenly when it was at the asphyxiating height of its popularity. My sister Wafflugenheim is 6 years less than I, and had acquired one (and therefore pretty much both) of the games so it was understandable that she might happen to turn the similarly named televsion show on. The two events may not even have taken place in that order. She had also watched Sailor Moon, another show from Japan deemed gimmicky and sellable enough to translate. It just made sense, and upon seeing it (either of them, I suppose) I was glad that it was at least not Angry Beavers or Histeria. I eventually played the video game myself, and it ended up being a strangely personal experience for me, because I insisted on giving a unique name to every single one of the silly things, and there were at least fifty. Why is that option even availibble?

It wasn't a totally terrible show, and it could have been quite good if not for the elements obviously designed to evoke mania from people. Though they certainly worked, (I never understood it myself, and even less for those pinatas up there) now, sevenish years later, those elements of the original episodes are no longer selling junk, and present, I think, major obstacles in the quest to have the series as a whole be fondly, sincerely looked upon for its artistic merit once people stop having to hate it by default out of spite for the marketing. Ehhh, and as always, the typical "controversial" scenes and dialogue mysteriously falling into the Pacific Ocean on the way over from the land of the cube watermelon never helps. I have to wonder how any one event could be considered "too violent" in a show about kids telling their pets to throw fireballs at each other. Also quite discomforting are the occasions where someone tries to preach morality monolouges about Pokemon handling, because even the kindest, most just humans on the show still stuff their beasts into tiny little balls and only let them out to do battle. It's hard to take seriously any hero who can say without irony "you have to weaken it before you can capture it!" Fortunately, there's very little serious going on, usually.

Yes, even with its problems, and even if every other anime ever made but that I can't see on a reasonable schedule for free is better, for the most part Pokemon is surprisingly watchable. When it may be watched. The way I would choose to watch it. The thing called “pokerap” was certainly devised due to the presence of scripts which were deemed to not be doing ENOUGH to enforce brand loyalty and sell merchandise. But even with it there (and it is), it is always at the end, and thus easiest to avoid. In Digimon this sort of thing is inescapable. I really don't want to talk about Digimon today. Or most days.




I added a bit to that linked below a few hours after first claiming responsibility. Don't bother looking for what- oh, you weren't going to? Jolly good.

About cartoons. Again, it wasn't supposed to be like that, it just went on for a bit too long and the pictures were a bit too big. No, the ones that are supposed to be on separate pages never get finished. Nieh. I didn't like that "Ludicrous" thing being at the top of the list anyway.




Next week: May I please put something here and not want to die afterwards?

Worst Selling Video Games (volume 2)

Note that I have played few, if any, of these video games, and so cannot vouch for their actual lack of merit, but merely acknowledge their sales figures (figures which I will not bore you with). Just be glad I'm not doing this on a weekly basis.

Super Oreo Brothers

Pac Mart

The Guardian Legume

Everquiz

Dead or A Vegetable

Silent Hillbilly

Dance Dance Inquisition

Pocket Probotector

A Boy and His Bob

Guit-R-Done Hero

God of Warren

Jak and Fax Machine

Bland Theft Lotto

Duck Hug

Wrecking Crouton

Sam and Max Sit in the Road

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turduckens

Ardy Lighthouse

Mr. Metris

Commander Kleen

The Richard Sims

WarKraft Macaroni & Cheese

Edward James Olmos in the Shell

Raisin Bran Turismo

Chessslave

Pokemon Rabies

Kite Simulator

Chrono Crosswalk

Tomb Rater

Klandia

Whirlo

Street Finder

Command and Ponder

Destroy All Humidors

Tom Clancy's Rainbow Fixation

The Amazing Adventures of Mr. F. Lea Bailey

Where in the Phone Book is Carmen Sandiego?

Umberto Eco the Dolphin

Billy Hatcher and the Giant Forum Signature

Bummer, Man

more of that sort of thing



This, page 54 of this, is significant for being the first made without the assistance of five-year-old pencil scribbled guide material. What does that mean for you? Absolutely nothing. However, for me it is a-


You know what, I've heard quite enough out of you. I've really been struggling lately and for you to just come along and


Well I never! Fine then, I know when I'm beaten. This is the end! Of this website entry. Good night and good noodles.


Monday, December 18, 2006
I got back to my house around 11:45 AM, and went on a failed expedition to find new boots.




Us in the medical fields cannot stress enough the importance of maintaining a nutritious diet and abstaining from smoking and alcohol consumption during pregnancy.




Jajajajajaja! I laughed all the way to the bank, but all it got me was punched in the nose. What is George Lopez's secret?





STOP IT! STOP IT! Why is everybody always picking on me? I transferred successfully! Leave me alone!





A translation: Newer, more obnoxious ads have been invented. Submit to them or risk having your browser choke and gasp for life at their mere presence trying to figure out what they are (well, my last computer did that). Also, if you don't have broadband we hate you.

Somehow this message was waiting for me when I turned my computer on. It's nice to know who's really in control here.


Not surprisingly, another update to a thing I never use on purpose, Java Run Time Environment, which is not, in fact, a Japanese game show, started harrassing me unprovoked at the exact same time.

Guess what, Runny, I don't have the hard drive space to keep separate copies of every one of your slightly differently functioning ahhh... great gimpity, I don't even know what they do. I can barely handle basic word processing. Besides that, Eastern Stardard Time hasn't let me down yet.



Failure Adventures

If you're going to draw any sort of border type thing around something that's supposed to be centered, make the border first. This is what happens when I try to do nice things for people (yes, a few people like my pictures. You can go lick a fish). It is also why every picture I put here goes through at least 3 hours of post-production. I start again. Oh, also, firefox just spontaneously deleted my url history for the first time, the recurring feature over which I stopped using netscape. I go to a lot of different sites, and maybe I don't feel like booksmirching every single one of them. I would consider them examples of karma in action had the previous two months not been full of this sort of thing. I've only been a horrible person since August. Merry Christmas to me.



Saturday, December 23, 2006
Try the grey stuff, it's delicious. Don't believe me? Ask the dishes.

I witnessed Thank You For Smoking not incredibly long ago, and couldn't see what the fuss was about. There are a couple moments which potentially are funny (as usual, most of them in the ads, which prematurely revokes much of their effectiveness), but the film as a whole certainly is not "a thought-provoking comedy enema" or whatever those silly words on the back of the box were. Even the cameo by Cancer Boy was so out of touch with the overall [come to where the] flavor [is] of the movie that it was hard to laugh at. I had a harder time liking the main character, even after he gave up his tobacco lobbyist job, as he seemed totally unremorseful about the things he had done. He reminded me too much of Denis Leary. Rush Limbaugh, though also insufferably smug about how wrong he is (I assume; everything I know about him is second-hand from people who hate him), is too fat and Iron Chef dub-sounding to be a factor, even an O'Reilly Factor. Few smart people take him seriously.

Speaking of that page I wrote months ago, there actually is a point in the film where tobacco legend appears on the television show of the other Dennis, Miller. I thought that show ended. I guess it started again. Someone had to give him a new show to increase the chances of him getting through an interview without dropping into conversation that he's a libertarian. Executive people figured that if he talks to someone before a running camera every night eventually he'll get tired of saying it.

The very day before, I came across some blotchy, belogoed, youtube-reformatted edition of the first episode of Dinoriders, (though that link is to a google video version, and apparently google video is different from youtube even though google owns youtube) a cartoon distributed on VHS made to sell a toy (several toys, in fact), which I hadn't seen in over 10 years. It was the best part of my week.

Oh, now I remember one of the things I was mad that I couldn't remember when I was typing that page about Den[n]ises. Dennis Miller doubts the occurence of global warming because he doesn't trust antiquated systems of temperature measurement, and so similarly doubts the significance of them recording gradually higher temperatures over a period which, indeed, is relatively short in the history of humans setting stuff on fire. So therefore we should not make the slightest attempt to curb any environmental gut-punching, since a single example of their effects was possibly erroneously reported. Arg, no! And he says it in a way that it sounds right unless you think about it, and you can't think about it because then he's not there to discuss the issue, he's there to deliver a comedy routine in the form of a conversation, and he's on the next topic without obstruction before anyone realizes he's talking rubbish. This happens with comedians all the time, it's just usually over something stupid and trivial. There's always someone saying something like "you know that headache you get after you snort mustard? Where it feels like your aphid collection is rubbing against the back of your eyes?" Ha ha ha. Hey wait, no one snorts mustard! You are the only person who snorts mustard and collects aphids, if anyone does! There's some guy who has a prolonged anecdote about "powdering [his] balls" which is kept from being confessional by being told in such a way that implies everyone does it. I don't think that many people do! It's fine (to an extent) to have weird habits, but don't try to justify them by ascribing them on to me! I've never even owned "personal lubricant," and apparently it's normal to keep that stuff around.


Please, not in front of the children.



Seasonal Greetings from N'England

Imagine how delightful *old* England is.

What the noodle?! When are idiot candy makers going to stop replacing all the fake lime with fake apple? It isn't as good! Not even nearly! Stop doing that! Why don't you replace a flavor I hate, like pineapple? It even already has all the letters you need. What, because those aren't green? Neither are a good quantity of apples (the yellow ones are best, besides), and I seriously don't give a tumor how many green candies there are, as long as they taste nice (these don't). I'm not buying the stuff to look at, and I'm definitely not buying it to improve my own appearance.


"The original?" As of when? Ha ha ha. Do not make me laugh! Oh, but you just did! WOW! Does that label mean I'm going to have diarrhea now, too? Or just that you think I'm a total moof who'll believe there is really $10 worth of gummy bears in this bag? I've seen packages at CVS one third in size for 99¢, with proper lime green, even, so don't pretend you're helping me afford some sort of luxury here. It's just regular, cheap ol' candy, and the cheaper stuff is better.


Also, even though it only has one less character, I am astounded at how much stupider "E-Z" looks than "easy." Had I only read about its existence, I would have assumed it was just a bit dumber, but it is in fact dumber by a far greater amount than is sanitary. You really aren't saving that much space! Someone who couldn't read wouldn't understand the "pull to open" part, and would be suspicious of hiser sudden ability to read the word "easy," and so still know sinister forces were at work. Then why bother? Yes, yes, as always, just to annoy me! I'm special. I never asked to be special! How is it possible I thought more about this in 4 minutes than anyone in the entire Illinois Black Forest for the length of time it took to change the packaging? Have I used the force?

Ugh, apple candy. I suppose I should be glad I still have lemon. How long before that gets replaced with something truly wretched, but also yellow, like banana?


Editor's note: this creature is typically only ever depicted saying the word "banana." Also, there is no editor. I am just the same person as before using a different font size.

Apple is one of those boring Now & Later flavors, like grape and cherry. If I want apple, cherry and grape instead of lime, strawberry and orange, and additionally need to lose my teeth in a hurry I will buy Now & Laters, and by the way I won't be doing that! Neither now nor later. Oh, fiddle dee dee.





That new show "Identity..." "Can you identify 8 people just by looking at them?" There must be more to it than that. That sounds horrible. Who would watch that? Obviously I'm not meant to be able to identify 8 people just by looking at them; otherwise there'd be no "game," so it surely comes down to dumb guessing. That's like "Good Dancer, Bad Dancer?" for an hour, just without the jokes made at the expense of the people being guessed.

It is hosted by Penn Gillette and... why? He can actually do stuff that in theory is entertaining to watch. Or at least think up stuff for someone else to do. He's better than this. He needs to go back to spoiling over-done magic tricks, making Teller vomit needles and managing Brock Lesnar. I can't say for certain about cartoons or music but yes, surely we reside within a relatively new dark age of game shows. None were especially bright, but this here is as dim as they come. It's just one shiny blue fake suspense dramatic pause guessing game after another. I won't say "glorified guessing game" because nothing here is glorious.


Even Who Want Million regularly forced clearly unqualified people to answer questions they knew nothing about, so there's little difference here other than that networks now make sure no one knows the answer (indicating a complete 180 degree turn on that policy from the original days of game shows). It's at the point where a revival of Bowling for Dollars1 would be an improvement. Only if it lasts less than an hour, though.


And oh marion, we can't be entertained if there isn't a >50% chance of losing all the money after all things have been done, is there? This is an aspect of ye olde Jeopardie!!, a show I have supported on occasion, but people on that show impose big bets upon themselves, and the biggest bets typically only occur in Final Jeopardy Crystal Chronicles, after which players who don't have the most money get none anyway, and appropriately this is the only time they are required to respond. I suppose this may just be my problem, but I've found it's much easier to watch two people lose together. If I want to see suffering I'll just position a mirror next to myself watching Identity. I realize that makes no sense on several layers but hopefully you won't until later.


I did accidentally see a bit of Identitty, which explains how I came to acquire these images. If one can assume everything before the point shown was building to this, then yes, it is quite bad. If it was good, but only at the beginning or toward the middle, then that's not so hot either.
I don't know if it's been on a second time. I haven't seen any ads for it since I took the picture, which was supposedly on 12/21/2006, a Thursday, at 8:57 am, which depending on what time of the day the original wrong time was entered into the camera may in fact have been a Friday. Right, so, if NBC suddenly forgets how great it used to think the show is, then that probably means someone else told them it was bad, and they may never even show it again. And I thought I was sensitive.

1Every time I search for a phrase and find a page from "answers.com," the contents turn out to be text copied from the wikipedia search result above it, just with cramped viewing space and piles o' ads. Why does it exist? That helps no one. Wikipedia is where information goes to die. Try to honor its last wish. I wonder how much fraudulence was rightfully deleted from ol' Kipede but eventually added back when people found sources confirming it, which in fact had their own sources as old wiki pages but did not say so. Probably not a whole lot. But I just have to type these things after they occur to me, don't I. At any rate, a show with seven "couple of minutes" interviews and only fourteen total balls thrown sounds about as exciting as anything people have won or almost won considerably more money doing recently.



Sunday, December 31, 2006
If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel ON YOUR KNEES, BOY

2006, as of midnight, you shall be dead to me. As for you, 2007, I have just three words:


However, with that having been said, if I find, within the next seven hours, the person(s) who came up with the idea for this advertisement, approved its use and agreed to draw the poster, there will be troubling times indeed, whose line of dead may well extend beyond today's deadline.



Hmph.

stupid comics
page 54. How about that.

stupid pictures V
stupid pictures IV
stupid pictures III
stuppict II I/II
stupid pictures II
stupid pictures I
I'm starting to think there will never be more of these.

The guestbook is not stupid!

In depth
(alas, they cannot swim)

Cartoons
12-10-2006
Ludicrous
07-01-2006
I do not approve.
06-04-2006
irrational complaining about my television set
04-24-2006
Dennises are dead to me
04-17-2006
web-tv
04-08-2006
This page is not about shoes.
03-22-2006
I hate shoes.
03-11-2006
something award related

03-04-2006
Bahrg.
02-26-2006
Those Green Eyes again
01-28-2006
More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
01-15-2006
MeSpace
11-EH-2005
Biggest Loser
10-EH-2005
Mall Blandness
07-20-2005
2004 advertisement complaint world championship
01/05/05
Belindi
11/03/04
Mall Egadness
09/22/04
Las Vegas
07/30/04
Spiderman 2
07/20/04
Jope and Dopes
06/27/04
These Green Eyes
04/24/04
Friday
04/01/04
Wedding
03/07/04
Game Over
03/02/04
McDenny's
01/09/04
Mall orneryness
01/06/04
Movies I'm not going to see
11/14/03
Back fashion school to
09/14/03
Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
06/14/03
JList
06/03/03
France
03/31/03
Official pizza of Nascar
03/16/03
Browsers
02/23/03
Michael Jackson
2/16/03
Free Speech
02/05/03
Thursday
01/23/03
Doofs
01-whenever-03
NO
12/11/02
Film Critics. I hate them.
10/15/02
Coconuts. I hate those as well.
10/14/02
Independence Day
Some time in July 2001

Video games in depth
(alas, submerging them shorted out their circuits)

Spirou part 1
Spirou part 17
05-26-2006
Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure! There, I said it!
04-18-2005
Kirby part 1
01/23/05
Kirby part 2
01/23/05
Kirby part 3
01/23/05
Dynamite HeaddY?
07/04/04?
McDonald's Treasureland Adventure
03/21/04
Pac in Time part 1
02/12/04
Pac in Time part 2
when do you think?
Air Fortress
07/16/03
Super Widget
05/17/03
Back to the Forest (the skunny page)
01/21/03
Tintin and the Prisoners of the Sun
09/24/02
Bip Bop II
2001, a space waste
Barney's Hide and Seek "Game"
too late to make a difference
Moraff's Dungeons of the Unforgiven
before the one above it
Super Games Galore! Doy!
mysterious

Quasi-monthly arranging of briefer things

The Rest 00
04/29/01 to 08/02/01
The Rest 01
03/28/02 to 06/01/02
The Rest 02
06/15/02 to 10/01/02
The Rest 03
10/07/02 to 01/19/03
The Rest 04
01/23/03 to 04/05/03
The Rest 05
04/09/03 to 05/11/03
The Rest 06
05/22/03 to 07/30/03
The Rest 07
08/13/03 to 09/28/03
The Rest 08
10/02/03 to 11/26/03
The Rest 09
11/29/03 to 12/26/03
The Rest 10
12/29/03 to 01/16/04
The Rest 11
01/28/04 to 03/24/04 somehow
The Rest 12
03/31/04 to 05/07/04
The Rest 13
05/11/04 to 06/17/04
The Rest 14
06/23/04 to 07/26/04
The Rest 15
08/01/04 to 08/27/04
The Rest 16
09/01/04 to 09/29/04
The Rest 17
10/06/04 to 11/05/04
The Rest 18
11/12/04 to 12/07/04
The Rest 19
12/14/04 to 01/13/05
The Rest 20
01/20/05 to 02/21/05
The Rest 21
02/27/05 to 03/24/05
The Rest 22
03/31/05 to 5/19/05
The Rest 23
05/28/05 to 06/25/05
The Rest 24
07/09/05 to 07/31/05
The Rest 25
8/8/5 to 09/05/05
The Rest 26
09/11/05 to 10/02/05
The Rest 27
10-15-05 to 10/30/05?!
The Rest 28
11/06/05 to 12/02/05
The Rest 29
12/12/05 to 12/30/05
The Rest 30
January 2006
The Rest 31
February 2006
The Rest 32
March 2006
The Rest 33
April 2006
The Rest 34
May 2006
The Rest 35
June 2006
The Rest 36
July 2006
The Rest 37
August 2006
The Rest 38
September 2006
The Rest 39
October 2006
The Rest 40
November 2006

whatever else

Awards this website hasn't won
mysterious
Embarrassing pictures part 1
09/17/04
Embarrassing pictures part 2
The same
The Annotated Umiliphus
08/15/03
Hopeless.swf
11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
sandwich.swf
02/16/05
FACK
??/??/??
Poetry Page
The same

 

Rastapopoulos sez:
I'm the Devil incarnate! It's true! You can tell, because whenever I get angry I say “Diavolo!” Also, when I state a fact or make a vow, I precede it with “by Lucifer!” It simply would not occur to a non-Satan to do such things! Bah to Christmas! Being the Lord of Darkness on Ice, I know a few things about this Jesus fellow. Were you aware that he supposedly let himself be killed with the intention of absolving mankind of its sins? Of course that wouldn't work, insolent fool, but by Lucifer, or should I say by ME, that's a terrible attitude to have. Sins are great! Did you know I traded slaves? I sold living humans as property! The money wasn't even that good, I only did it because I am evil! You corporate flapjacks with your indentured servants make me sick! What's that you say? You have factories full of children with minimal safety conditions and you pay them only six cents an hour with no benefits? Pfuiii, you are pitiful! I bet you don't even whip them! Sir, might I remind you that I wear a monocle? I won't even say “happy holidays!” I hope your holidays are sad and miserable regardless of your inferior breeding! You won't be getting a bootful of clean, efficient modern energy source coal for free from me! To the devil with you! And then I'll send you back!
Roberto Rastopoulos,
alias the Marquis di Gorgonzola
Note: The above message does not necessarily reflect the thoughts or words of Rastapopoulos. Fire and brimstone! If only it did!

harrassment

Apokryphos