I remember when the International House of Roms was shut down, I didn't just complain about it; I looked for more rom sites. Eventually I found Emu Russia and Edge Emulation, and you'd be surprised how the time it takes to sort and upload 6000 NES games plus idiot hacks compares with that of a couple motion nuggets. Of course I was able to keep all the roms thitherto that point acquired on my computer, and so not be dependent, even during my interim wandering period, upon any site for me to continue getting what I already had. Ehhh, but it wouldn't quite critically maim you to look through your browser cache every once in a while and download an FLV player. What did you buy an 80 gigabyte hard drive for?

I still remember when entire websites would get ceased and made to desist just for having The Simpsons logos on them. I guess the thought pattern then was "if people know they can get static, eyesoringly compressed pictures of random moments from it on the internet for free, they'll never watch the real TV show again!" The FOX people stopped when they realized their quest was impossible/totally retarded.

I think with time companies will give up trying to purge the most widely known sections of the internet of contextless, tiny-screened, sub-bootleg quality video clips too, but if they don't, it's really no huge loss. It's when they start seeking out original content that we should worry, even if most of that is trash, too.

I've seen a couple enjoyable copyrighted clips through this system, and none of them were from shows still getting made. I also know I don't need to tell you about them because chances are most websites you look at are trying to direct you toward some. But ehhh, I find my desire for Daily Show content is satiated by actual Daily Show content. I only get truly annoyed when I miss a show as well as its subsequent re-airings, and a couple month old isolated moments won't help that.

I love the Daily Show. However, as far as minor annoyances are concerned, I don't always like the way it tries to prove a politician wrong with a contradictory sound bit that's six years old –There's a difference between being a hypocrite and changing one's mind (you call it “flip-flopping”)– but I've certainly worked with less here. Also questionable, the writers' tendency to, even at sub-Al Franken levels, dwell on past events of really minimal immediate relevance, such as the case of the Mission Accomplished banner being displayed on a big boat several weeks into the multi-year Iraq war. I realize the importance of having this be remembered as one of the iconic, summarizing stupid moments of Bush 2's presidency, and I'm sure it will be, but it's hard to find fault with idiots still griping over Bill Clinton's largely less-bad-than-Bush scandals when this one is less than that.

As for the Stephen Colbert Report, I am wary of its Maddox-like hold over stupid fans who don't really get the joke, but so far they've only harrassed a couple wiki nerds into locking elephant related articles and not quite gotten a Hungarian bridge renamed, so that's not so bad. There shouldn't be a problem as long as you stay away from the appropriate message boards, which you should anyway. I remember someone telling me that I should try posting at the Colbert Nation, the show's official fake fan site, but I knew to not even try, because everyone would either be copying the titular Steve's character or sincerely whining about democrats, and there'd be no way to tell them apart, nor a reason to, all of them being fundamentally humorless twits. And if they're actually good people I'd surely do something to make them hate me anyway. I will find a way.

DVD bonus alternate ending:



Excuse me, Mr. Book Jacket, could you direct me to the Maddox Mania?

But these things, they are not my problem now, for on one of those days (specifically, the last day) everything stopped. I know it's not one of the greatest shows ever, but I'm certainly more likely to watch that than The Amazing Chan Clan. A greater insult brought about by the lineup change, though not one which directly affects my unpleasant habits:

Also, are people more likely to listen to these stupid noises if I have them as wavs instead of mp3s? It appears that I am assuming that.

Mo' Poke: By the video game's standards, Ash is a horrible Pokomon trainer. I'm sure this has been noted in the appropriate forums ("forum" used in the vague sense of all publically accessable locations where thoughts are expressed and not the specific thing on the internet called "forum," in which as little thought is desired as possible), but for my own health I try not to read too many of the words on websites devoted to things I like. It may be interesting to note that this is true regardless of whether the writer agrees with me or doesn't. But eh, Ash, if he knew what he was doing, he'd just have Pikachu zap birds for three hours and go up so many levels that all foes fall in one hit regardless of what their weaknesses are and it would be boring, and the only way to lose would be what? Unjudgable god opponents, the apparent trademark of epic annimay. I wrote some angry complaint about that phenomenomeon a long time ago, but I found it just now in a pile of unfinished things I've written. I meant to finish the things, but then I forgot about the list. Just pretend this is on a three year old page so I don't feel obligated to attempt improving it:

I don't understand the dragonball z battle system. First there'll be a major, master villain who flattens the hero with one punch. Fine. Then, over time, the hero becomes powerful enough to take this punch and deliver his own. Again, fine. But then another villain appears who totally disregards that and again lays out the hero with one hit. And then the cycle goes on and on until I can no longer believe hero could make the slightest contact with his weakling friends or any earth objects without sending them into orbit. Unless he forgets all his skills every time he wins, like he's Megaman or something. Or rather, I suppose Megaman is like him, because most of those cartoons were made around 1986 and not translated until ten years later. By the way, if George "Dubbaya" Bush gets reelected I'm moving to Canada and Matrix Revolutions is gonna be sooooo ooawesome and

I hate that. Thankfully, Ash only wins most matches because something improbable yet not frustratingly so occurs. I can't imagine that remaining endurable for nine years, but I'm not asking for that. I just want to see episodes up to the point where the theme song changes, Brock's amazing eyelessbrows migrate nearer to his forehead, Misty gets eaten by that midget who wears glasses and all the ugly Aztec temple decoration-looking Pokemon I don't recognize start showing up.

But eh, if "they" started the series from the beginning again just to please me (they wouldn't, but shut up) I probably wouldn't watch for two weeks because I've already seen that far, and by then they'd say "we will not fall for this person's tricks again!" and stop once more. How shall dare they! I will hate them.

I did watch the Pokemon cartoon intermittenly when it was at the asphyxiating height of its popularity. My sister Wafflugenheim is 6 years less than I, and had acquired one (and therefore pretty much both) of the games so it was understandable that she might happen to turn the similarly named televsion show on. The two events may not even have taken place in that order. She had also watched Sailor Moon, another show from Japan deemed gimmicky and sellable enough to translate. It just made sense, and upon seeing it (either of them, I suppose) I was glad that it was at least not Angry Beavers or Histeria. I eventually played the video game myself, and it ended up being a strangely personal experience for me, because I insisted on giving a unique name to every single one of the silly things, and there were at least fifty. Why is that option even availibble?

It wasn't a totally terrible show, and it could have been quite good if not for the elements obviously designed to evoke mania from people. Though they certainly worked, (I never understood it myself, and even less for those pinatas up there) now, sevenish years later, those elements of the original episodes are no longer selling junk, and present, I think, major obstacles in the quest to have the series as a whole be fondly, sincerely looked upon for its artistic merit once people stop having to hate it by default out of spite for the marketing. Ehhh, and as always, the typical "controversial" scenes and dialogue mysteriously falling into the Pacific Ocean on the way over from the land of the cube watermelon never helps. I have to wonder how any one event could be considered "too violent" in a show about kids telling their pets to throw fireballs at each other. Also quite discomforting are the occasions where someone tries to preach morality monolouges about Pokemon handling, because even the kindest, most just humans on the show still stuff their beasts into tiny little balls and only let them out to do battle. It's hard to take seriously any hero who can say without irony "you have to weaken it before you can capture it!" Fortunately, there's very little serious going on, usually.

Yes, even with its problems, and even if every other anime ever made but that I can't see on a reasonable schedule for free is better, for the most part Pokemon is surprisingly watchable. When it may be watched. The way I would choose to watch it. The thing called “pokerap” was certainly devised due to the presence of scripts which were deemed to not be doing ENOUGH to enforce brand loyalty and sell merchandise. But even with it there (and it is), it is always at the end, and thus easiest to avoid. In Digimon this sort of thing is inescapable. I really don't want to talk about Digimon today. Or most days.

About cartoons. Again, it wasn't supposed to be like that, it just went on for a bit too long and the pictures were a bit too big. No, the ones that are supposed to be on separate pages never get finished. Nieh. I didn't like that "Ludicrous" thing being at the top of the list anyway.

Note that I have played few, if any, of these video games, and so cannot vouch for their actual lack of merit, but merely acknowledge their sales figures (figures which I will not bore you with). Just be glad I'm not doing this on a weekly basis.

Somehow this message was waiting for me when I turned my computer on. It's nice to know who's really in control here.

Speaking of that page I wrote months ago, there actually is a point in the film where tobacco legend appears on the television show of the other Dennis, Miller. I thought that show ended. I guess it started again. Someone had to give him a new show to increase the chances of him getting through an interview without dropping into conversation that he's a libertarian. Executive people figured that if he talks to someone before a running camera every night eventually he'll get tired of saying it.

The very day before, I came across some blotchy, belogoed, youtube-reformatted edition of the first episode of Dinoriders, (though that link is to a google video version, and apparently google video is different from youtube even though google owns youtube) a cartoon distributed on VHS made to sell a toy (several toys, in fact), which I hadn't seen in over 10 years. It was the best part of my week.

Oh, now I remember one of the things I was mad that I couldn't remember when I was typing that page about Den[n]ises. Dennis Miller doubts the occurence of global warming because he doesn't trust antiquated systems of temperature measurement, and so similarly doubts the significance of them recording gradually higher temperatures over a period which, indeed, is relatively short in the history of humans setting stuff on fire. So therefore we should not make the slightest attempt to curb any environmental gut-punching, since a single example of their effects was possibly erroneously reported. Arg, no! And he says it in a way that it sounds right unless you think about it, and you can't think about it because then he's not there to discuss the issue, he's there to deliver a comedy routine in the form of a conversation, and he's on the next topic without obstruction before anyone realizes he's talking rubbish. This happens with comedians all the time, it's just usually over something stupid and trivial. There's always someone saying something like "you know that headache you get after you snort mustard? Where it feels like your aphid collection is rubbing against the back of your eyes?" Ha ha ha. Hey wait, no one snorts mustard! You are the only person who snorts mustard and collects aphids, if anyone does! There's some guy who has a prolonged anecdote about "powdering [his] balls" which is kept from being confessional by being told in such a way that implies everyone does it. I don't think that many people do! It's fine (to an extent) to have weird habits, but don't try to justify them by ascribing them on to me! I've never even owned "personal lubricant," and apparently it's normal to keep that stuff around.

Please, not in front of the children.

Ugh, apple candy. I suppose I should be glad I still have lemon. How long before that gets replaced with something truly wretched, but also yellow, like banana?