August 25, 2010

Sunday, the twenty-ninth: It is against my personal principles, but I am going to try and do something productive tomorrow.

===================================================

One thing that I think is neat about last.fm, the website which was the topic of this post before it got too long and stupid and I had to remove the actual informative information from it to keep the length reasonable, are these little biographies that show up when I listen to music that I’ve liked for years but never gave much thought to the creators of.


I learned, for example, that before he become a game music composer, back in his younger days as a consulting detective, Koichi Sugiyama developed some solid theories linking video to the death of the radio star.

Later in life he of course went on to be Barack Obama.


Aw ban, that guy has so many albums of the same corny Dragon Warrior tunes, because people buy them. He must be rolling in dough. I, meanwhile, often find myself rolling in dopes. Yes that’s the only reason I mentioned it.


Although now I have decided that also I object to dumb Healie playing drums. Healie is like a floating dope with no torso or nose. Dopes often forget to have arms, so this seems like the next [totally il]logical step.



This puts me in a tough position because healers also remind me of c3po, who is my personal hero in life despite being a robot and not actually alive and not actually existent, but I stand by my principles. Healie cannot stand by its own principles because it has neither principles nor legs to actually stand with.

I’m not here to do things Healie would like! My parties are swingin’ occasions and healie isn’t welcome at them.


Healie is also a traitor to its own kind. I can understand the overwhelming desire to hit healers, but this strikes me as psychologically worrisome. Ragnar’s an admirable figure and all, what with his declining to receive any special treatment and enlisting in the army despite his famous father Rygar’s many connections

(who himself overcame the adversity of not having a face), and daring to go on quests wearing bright pink armor and refusing to shave his purple mustache, but Healie tries too hard to gain favor, and quite pinkly I find it sickening.

Excuse me, Ragnar’s party obtained the gold? As I see it, there’ll be no divvying of this plunder at journey’s end motel*.

*this was the name of some place I used to see from the highway when I went to visit my grandmother’s house. It was only there for a few years, no longer is, doesn’t seem to have been part of a chain and really there was nothing inherently funny about it, so my making reference to it is not at all fair, and talking about it in this way can only possibly bore you. This then causes me to giggle.

Hey! I only put that thing in the front to draw the attacks of other monsters, no doubt resentful of Healie waiving its right to not be slaughtered by them in search of selfish gain. That does not shift authority and naming rights! Ragnar, I suggest you find more trustworthy companions.


Well now you’ve done it: you’ve emboldened Healie to commit the ultimate treachery: transforming into a skeleton. A jogging skeleton. You know you’re an inefficient being when becoming a skeleton enhances your skills. That is, if you are competent enough to know things.

we needn’t encourage this sort of behavior!

Now I just feel inadequate. I am blue with envy. I would be green but thankfully I’m not yella.

Although for some people being yella is the least of their problems.



7 Responses
  1. 1
    6:24 pm, August 25, 2010

    The MTV Generation sez:

    Healie, I was once told by someone whom you’ve probably never heard of, is in fact a “crumbum”, but that I’d have to play quite far into the game to understand why.

    I have a strong suspicion that that skeleton has never actually won a medal. That skeleton should be prosecuted for fraud. Skoundrels and skofflaws, those skeletons. Which reminds me–weren’t you supposed to write a public service announcement on that topic quite some time ago? The people need to know these things.

    Finally, were it day in the third-to-last image, I suspect the function of the non-floor-level windows would become a good deal more apparent.

  2. 2
    11:22 pm, August 26, 2010

    Frubaklop sez:

    I don’t quite remember what healie does later (I started the game over to get those other pictures) but in my screen capture collection somewhere in 6/23/2004 is a poet figure claiming to be named Healie, and I have disapproved of poet figures ever since

    so it is safe to say that I don’t approve of whatever it is Healie has done or will ever do.

    I pondered including another bit of skeleton news which had been delivered to me not terribly long ago, but the time was after midnight by then and I had to conclude and post this thing before I turned into a pumpkin. Fortunately, I’m entirely certain the topic of skeletons will come up again, unfortunately.

    Re: the windows, it’s hard to say in Castlevania. I don’t think there is day time there (except in the second game, but that one doesn’t have pot roast so it may not be canon). Also, the hallways are surely quite narrow for everybody to be needing to jump over each other to avoid conflict, so any sunlight that entered would promptly hit a wall, assuming there are walls opposite them, and considering that I can see all this without being inside myself, I suspect that there are not.

  3. 3
    5:12 am, August 27, 2010

    Pigbuster sez:

    Who’d give a skeleton a medal, anyway? Them skeletons must be holding their own skeleton olympics, in which most the events undoubtedly involve disassembling oneself and, say, throwing the bones for distance. Skeletons always seem so happy to take themselves apart. You’d think it’d be uncomfortable.

    I must admit it’s rather rare to see Sir Lemon of Head with a body. Ever since his tragic decapitation all you ever see is the head. Rather disturbing how Ferrara Pan saw fit to use photos of his disembodied head for their packaging. They even went to the lengths of somehow tying a bowtie around his non-existant neck. I think we all ought to stand up to these people and demand that disembodied heads get the respect they deserve.

    Well, okay, maybe not all of them.

  4. 4
    3:24 pm, August 27, 2010

    Frubaklop sez:

    It does worry me now that I called into question neither why the skeleton had a medal nor what it had ostensibly “earned” the thing doing. I must be getting old.

    I think that decapitation was the most merciful act ever committed toward Lemonhead.

  5. 5
    6:19 pm, August 28, 2010

    Pigbuster sez:

    Have you ever thought about adding a caveat to your commenting system that’ll help exterminate your robot problem? Not a captcha, mind you. Lord no. I think most robots actually have systems that let them interpret the writings of Captain Cha, meaning they can get past them easier than us flesh and blood humans.

    I am suggesting a little text box with a simple question, like “Are you a robot? Y/N” that would show up if you use a link anywhere in your comment would do fine, since I don’t think robots are things like that. The life of a robot is quite a sad one, full of herbal supplements and enhancement pills for the genitals they’ll never have.

    Of course, this is a WordPress site, and I’m not entirely certain what you can do with such a system in place. Also, this would do nothing to stop the robots that don’t have links anywhere in the comments they leave, but those robots are adorably inept and I have no problem with them.

  6. 6
    6:37 pm, August 28, 2010

    Fenfizzelt sez:

    A vote?

    (Negation.)

  7. 7
    9:32 pm, August 29, 2010

    Frubaklop sez:

    I suppose it’s possible. I’d hate to actually do it, though. Not necessarily for any specific reason, I just know it would take me a year, which must mean I have some kind of problem with it.

feed comments.

Sorry, the comment form is apologizing at this time. Which probably means I got tired of deleting robot comments off this post. It is unfortunate, but generally very few actual people have anything to say to me.

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