aw naw blippy.
according to legend, recently my mother Thorax was shopping with my slightly-less-recently-turned-six-years-old niece Violin and pointed out this display, then Violin said something like “i don’t like Blippi anymore.” Thorax responded “well maybe it is something for littler kids” and then Violin said “NO, it’s for ALL kids.” However neither turns out to be true, for the boxes here all say

“Not for children under 3 years.” You are either meant to blatantly ignore the safety guidelines associated with this screeching preaching hyperactew or encourage children old enough to know better to partake of his offerings.
I first became aware of blipson 1-3 years ago at a time when Violin was perhaps just entering the target range of these toys and fortunately either they weren’t available or we simply had not come across any. Unfortunately his videos were in ample supply and I had my fill surprisingly quickly, even beside a child who watched the utterly braindead and marketer-approved “baby shark” on a loop. blippo is extraordinarily annoying and creepy. He tries to put forth an “educational” image but it is fake. Even these boxes say “collect them all,” which is a fundamentally uneducational thing to encourage anybody to do at any age.

It seems that many adults also think he was/is creepy but cannot articulate why. I can. I just never had a justification to until he appeared in real space that I potentially have access to. He is creepy because he is phony and gross. Even before I knew he was a shill for mass-produced landfill filler I thought that, though that helps me put it better in perspective. That guy looks like he smells like human fecal matter and apple juice. Largely due to the combination of neon plastic clothes like kids wore in the early 1990s but the full grown man body and the fact that he is never ever fully shaven and his mouth never fully closed. he looks like a mentally disabled adult. which isn’t a crime but I was in special education, as a student, for a long time, and this guy reminds me of some of the more tragic cases, except it’s totally deliberate. including the attire like a parent chose and applied it, the ugly hat that looks like a helmet and worst of all the facial hair. That cartoon drawing of him makes sure to color in the place where his beardling is in a slightly darker color. Not a real beard, just light annoying hair so that he looks dirty. it reminds me of when somebody uses scissors to cut the tag off of blankets or cushions instead of removing the stitching, so there is always tag residue and it is worse than the full tag being there because I KNOW it is there but it can hide. I don’t want to worry about Blippy hiding in my bed when I stay at a motel.
The writer of that other piece annoyed by blippi concedes “He’s wholesome” but he isn’t! He is bad. He’s even named after the sound of swear words being covered up on broadcast television. In actual video blechhi is loud and obnoxious, and again it is totally deliberate and calculated. I think hating something for being deliberately annoying is valid. Even if an annoying thing has ostensibly educational goals. It is not socially educational. Nobody should aspire to act how he acts. And the guy is maybe educational about one tenth of the time, and just being a noisy jackass the rest of the time. The contradictions are maddening. He is childlike but built like some creep who got drunk at your house and passed out on your couch. he is exuberant and innocent yet condescending if you have soda in your house. He is utterly amasculine, but with that ugly forced mini-beard like he is a stock photo of a “rebel entrepreneur,” while dressed and talking like

Tony Barbieri, writer of ‘Monroe,’ Mad Magazine’s worst recurring feature, portraying Jake Byrd, one of Jimmy Kimmel’s numerous worst recurring features. Who is also unforgivably annoying but fortunately not marketed at toddlers and thus never going to get into the toy section of a department store.

I had to delete the email that I forwarded to myself with the store photograph in it just because seeing his sleaze makes me so uncomfortable. I mean blippy’s sleaze, not byrd’s, but byrd would also have to go in the mercifully improbable same situation. And then I avoided looking at the picture between then and today, and realized I initially misread, at small size on my mobile machine, the command “let’s roll” as “let’s pop,” and prepared some statements about why “let’s pop” is a stupid thing to say and now I can’t even use that*, and I think that also counts as a valid reason to not like blipli. Certainly it is better for his case that he isn’t commanding children to pop with him, but I don’t want him commanding children to do anything with him. I’m not saying I think he is a sexual predator, but I would only be about 5% surprised if he was. But I also am never surprised when anybody who gets rich off of youtube videos turns out to be one of those or a neo-nazi, and it seems like they all eventually do.
Isn’t it fundamentally un-wholesome of me to encourage such a strong rejection of someone, especially an ostensibly educational persona, based on how they look and sound? Not if the rejectee is only pretending to look and sound that way. blippi is deliberate, blippi is an act, by an actor, and I have every right to disapprove of that act simply on the basis of its outward appearance. And as noted he’s also selling toys designed to look like him now.

Say what you must about Michael Jackson, but dressing like a clown, having a ferris wheel at his house, having a life-size cardboard cutout of Peter Pan in his bed room, that wasn’t an act, that was real, and everybody could see it, and they STILL let their kids sleep next to him. It is bizarre now that youtube actors in a sense emulate some of Jackson’s weirdness on purpose and they still get encouraged for it.

*
what does “let’s pop!” mean? surely this is not encouraging children to overinflate themselves, but I don’t know what else it might mean in this context. it reminds me of when TNN The Nashville Network realized Nashville, Tennessee, after which it was named and at whose residents it was aimed, was just one place that people in most other places didn’t care about and rebranded itself “the national network” and used the slogan “we’ve got pop!” and it failed because that is stupid and meaningless and STILL didn’t make anyone forget that the N really meant Nashville, then they turned into Spike TV because spikes are always marketable. Someone in chicago was once murdered for popping, I know that much. So at least start with the ringleader.

actually I am glad I can’t use that, as it is fairly lame and poorly realized, and as much as it’s blippi’s fault I can’t use it, it’s also blippi’s fault I wrote it.

I KNOW it isn’t my fault! Just tell me WHAT went wrong instead of whimpering at me.

1930s technology is apparently more reliable. I would rather my niece watched old Popeye cartoons than Blippi; these are more realistic depictions of actions and consequences. None of those shallow twenty first century values of phony smiling fake-kindness, conflict avoidance and ultra polished blemish free cowering-from-controversy garbage

You know what, I’m busy, I have to get ready to not have thanksgiving.

I actually wrote about these cartoons over a year ago but since they are apparently rightfully unpopular they never came into my business again after the first time and I forgot they existed and didn’t finish.

This is SMART living because you would be a FOOL to pass up a chance to own a GOLD pumpkin

These must be the only three people who could beat him up. The emasculated quivering coward begging for quarter that only WE knew. Or maybe they are just more familiar with the beardless version shown here, which admittedly I am not.

He looks like he is fed up with people prank calling his office and asking for Matt Damon

Before this goes any further i need you to understand that vegetables most certainly canNOT beans.

Not in AMERICA, anyway. go to europe if you intend to engage in that sort of hedonistic rubbish.

You know what, go wherever you want, just go away from me.

the best thing about a world wide pandemic isn’t political parties making ignoring safety precautions a left or right-wing issue, it is definitely there being no clear end to the thing so that corporations have plenty of time to mass-produce smirky merchandise that just accept pandemic life is a given and here to stay. I expect these are produced by workers only kept about six inches apart.

i realize this is the future and I am not supposed to laugh at people with impairments anymore but I am going to laugh at Mighty Sight anyway. oh haha.

I just indicated it is improper to laugh at impairments, but that doesn’t mean you should be PROUD of not having ears. And it seems shortsighted, though mercifully not eyeless, as this creature doesn’t have limbs either!
but I am idding of course; seen from the front this whatever-this-is actually says “FEARLESS,” which makes even less sense since lacking ears, arms and your entire lower body is a valid plight to fear. If I assume this is just meant to be representative of the full-bodied character in its original feature Frozen film context it still doesn’t make sense, as much of the plot of the film is a consequence of this character being totally afraid. First of turning people into ice, and then being afraid of having turned everything else into ice instead, and then the writers were afraid of making this insanely marketable character into an actual villain, and so rolled some dice to arbitrarily assign “villain” to another character with almost no development 75% of the way through the film, even though he never created a giant evil snow monster out of nothing and tried to kill his own sister with it, or worse, another smaller snow monster that is voiced by patron saint of shrill mediocrity Josh Gad thereby transforming him into an inescapable, insufferable media presence after this film grossed over a billion dollars, and then pre-emptively ruining the first movie Rick Moranis agreed to appear in after almost 25 years grape grimpity.

hey look it’s Terry Bradshaw, that guy from commercials, bad talk shows and SHINGLES. Apparently he also played the American footed ball a long time ago, but is still evidently the most recent marketable nfl player without any major criminal convictions who hasn’t been killed by injuries the league insisted weren’t a big deal or their responsibility whenever the prior statement is proven false. Likewise he probably doesn’t eat chicken nuggets, definitely never did at such a time that he was “prep[aring] for the win,” and appropriate enough isn’t eating any in this picture, but he doesn’t mind if you do! And he doesn’t mind if you don’t since he already got paid.

He never puts any Red Man Chewin Dabacca in his mouth either. Red Man Chewin Dabacca, it’s like taking a big bite of an indigenous person and then spitting it out.

11-16-2020 these have perhaps been among the most surreal three days of my life, and yesterday was definitely the most tiring. but it continues. “because of covid” can be used to justify pretty much any arbitrary delay or disposal of function
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11-15-2020 a lot more of that than i expected! no a proper website piece is not popular. also this house is freezing. the new house shouldn’t be freezing. also today is my mother’s birthday and I have not done anything about that either! and I actually meant to! this is not a good house for doing what I mean to do!
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11-14-2020 i will be probably assisting in loading a truck to finally commence really moving out of this house, after more than six years after the first attempt to sell it. I like to imagine I will feel more in control of my existence once all that is done with, and will do something more useful with it, maybe even with this!
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Why isn’t the LAMEstream media reporting this?

or maybe he meant a parking lot.

no, seriously? he won days ago, dorks. I believe it is in fact quite common for votes to not all be counted for days, but to have so many states without a clear majority which the trailing party cannot mathematically overcome is uncommon, yet still not unprecedented. Media being afraid to project a winner, that is new. Still it was undeniable by yesterday except to career-denialists. As somebody who lives most of my life in denial, I can recognize that!

I don’t see a point to gloating about Biden prevailing since Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell got re-elected clean, so them and their ilks can still obstruct progress like always, and Trump is still the president until January 20. Biden isn’t anyone’s first choice, probably not even his, and anyone with high expectations will likely be disappointed. Plus the covid is still out for blood, and all the people who weren’t helping before will continue not helping.

Election day eve update: Joe Biden is still not cool. And less new than ever.
I can believe Biden abused his political position to meddle in a foreign government’s business to get his family money. That’s about the only thing Trump hasn’t abused his position to get, because he spent his entire professional life accumulating wealth through abuse.
I don’t think Biden belongs in this position. I think he was forced upon voters even harder than Hillary Clinton was, long before any campaigns even started. However, I can at least believe some things that he says. I can believe that he wants to improve something, anything.
in 2016 I thought: eh Trump is in, I will see what he does, in this role, and not pre-emptively condemn him and panic over unsubstantiatable rumors. Now I have seen that he dodges responsibility, lies about everything, insults everyone, same as before, and almost worse, is applauded for that. If he has real plans for things that matter, I can’t tell.
the Obama administration before that, while superficially an improvement over its predecessors, failed to end numerous bad Bush-era policies, greatly increased the numbers of drones in combat, couldn’t control the police, installed an incomplete health care system…Trump hasn’t really changed much, if any of that, for the better.
Biden MIGHT be different from Obama, and not necessarily worse. But Trump will be the same as Trump. Nothing he has ever done makes me think he means at all well in his screw ups. So based on that I can prefer one over the other. That is about as much optimism as I can manage! I still wouldn’t vote for either of them, but I will vote for somebody.

gosh the connecticut ballot is worse than I thought this year.