June 17, threethousandnineteenthirtyfour:

Earth’s greatest hero, captivity enthusiast, thrice consecutively voted “Most likely to be stripped of clothing and sent to The Arena” and all-around white guy Flash Gordon is defeated by a backwards S (Roneldo’s whereabouts unknown). A truce was called when both sides realized they despised trousers. The kneeling fellow in the second frame is actually being executed for the sake of peace.

Annnnnnnnnnd evidently I have things to do.

Orange and blue? Who’da thunk it? Yes, but see, this time there is green, also.

We don’t get great cellular telephone reception here by the water for some reason.

Also, I suspect this fish is not authorized to wear a hat with so many ridges.

Alsoer, those buildings are supposed to be in the distance, but you are welcome to believe that the foreground creatures are directly beside them, if that lets you like it better.

One thing that I think is neat about last.fm, the website which was the topic of this post before it got too long and stupid and I had to remove the actual informative information from it to keep the length reasonable, are these little biographies that show up when I listen to music that I’ve liked for years but never gave much thought to the creators of.

I learned, for example, that before he become a game music composer, back in his younger days as a consulting detective, Koichi Sugiyama developed some solid theories linking video to the death of the radio star.

Later in life he of course went on to be Barack Obama.

Aw ban, that guy has so many albums of the same corny Dragon Warrior tunes, because people buy them. He must be rolling in dough. I, meanwhile, often find myself rolling in dopes. Yes that’s the only reason I mentioned it.


Although now I have decided that also I object to dumb Healie playing drums. Healie is like a floating dope with no torso or nose. Dopes often forget to have arms, so this seems like the next [totally il]logical step.

This puts me in a tough position because healers also remind me of c3po, who is my personal hero in life despite being a robot and not actually alive and not actually existent, but I stand by my principles. Healie cannot stand by its own principles because it has neither principles nor legs to actually stand with.

I’m not here to do things Healie would like! My parties are swingin’ occasions and healie isn’t welcome at them.

Healie is also a traitor to its own kind. I can understand the overwhelming desire to hit healers, but this strikes me as psychologically worrisome. Ragnar’s an admirable figure and all, what with his declining to receive any special treatment and enlisting in the army despite his famous father Rygar’s many connections

(who himself overcame the adversity of not having a face), and daring to go on quests wearing bright pink armor and refusing to shave his purple mustache, but Healie tries too hard to gain favor, and quite pinkly I find it sickening.

Excuse me, Ragnar’s party obtained the gold? As I see it, there’ll be no divvying of this plunder at journey’s end motel*.

^{*this was the name of some place I used to see from the highway when I went to visit my grandmother’s house. It was only there for a few years, no longer is, doesn’t seem to have been part of a chain and really there was nothing inherently funny about it, so my making reference to it is not at all fair, and talking about it in this way can only possibly bore you. This then causes me to giggle.}

Hey! I only put that thing in the front to draw the attacks of other monsters, no doubt resentful of Healie waiving its right to not be slaughtered by them in search of selfish gain. That does not shift authority and naming rights! Ragnar, I suggest you find more trustworthy companions.


Well now you’ve done it: you’ve emboldened Healie to commit the ultimate treachery: transforming into a skeleton. A jogging skeleton. You know you’re an inefficient being when becoming a skeleton enhances your skills. That is, if you are competent enough to know things.

we needn’t encourage this sort of behavior!

Now I just feel inadequate. I am blue with envy. I would be green but thankfully I’m not yella.

Although for some people being yella is the least of their problems.

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Sunday, the twenty-ninth: It is against my personal principles, but I am going to try and do something productive tomorrow.

Tuesduh, Augurst 24: I made was confronted with this for the thing I was writing and did not complete, but really, it’s just as inappropriate and upsetting wherever it shows up.

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Page 10 of that. Yep.

A moment of simons, please, for a beloved member of the bimshwel family

No, unfortunately.

Camera 3, akadaka the “good” digital camera, and its life partner, 2 gigabyte memory card of uncertain origin because it worked so well that I never needed to take it out and look it over and be reminded of those things, taken down six days into a fresh pair of batteries. Tragic, really.

As per the terms of its will or something, its remains were dropped to the deepest, least accessible point of the base of Sabbadoy Falls.

Appropriately enough, that’s precisely where it fell out of my pocket while I was pursuing my brother I-Clops up a foolish ascent because I hadn’t taken any pictures of him with it the whole week. I still haven’t, surprisingly.

Let’s relive some of the memories, shall we? (yes)

Fort Lauderdoodle, Florida. November 26, 2006

Litchfield, Connecticut. December 25, 2007

New York City, America. November 16, 2008

Mir Space Station, Space. February 19, 2010

Green Hill Zone, Michigan August 11, 2010

FinePix A500, whose name I only discovered by opening one of its pictures in Microsoft Notepad,
2006-2010

Farewell, fine fujifilm fellow. You will be replaced.

CAM-RA, the Everliving, continues to ever-live, taking moderately tiny, slightly blurry pictures it can only carry 36 of, by will of the wizard. It owes its astounding longevity to a diet high in buck choc and being too big to take some places and too inadequate for it to be worth bothering to take to such places. Not that it hasn’t tried; it runs away at least once a year. It never gets very far because I dropped it on a floor and broke its battery chamber six years ago. This additionally allows it to stay lost for extraordinary periods of time without anybody picking it up. It seemed like a mistake at the time.

I was self-conscious about how stupid this was at one point, but then I uploaded it anyway so that’s kind of pantless. Pointless, I mean. It is very pant-less.

I added those weird squares to trick you into thinking this had a background.

An acquaintance told me how another acquaintance of his, whom he told about my dumb comic, had referred to this blue imbecile as “the UPS dragon” when I guess through some means or another the topic came up, even though this creature is just a regular dumb old lizard and not actually employed by a legitimate delivery service.

In fact it’s hardly a lizard at all. It doesn’t even have scales. I don’t really know what it is apart from very happy and very stupid.

About halfway through I considered the commonly associated UPS brown semi-pants, but I was of the opinion that while that looked very dumb it was not dumb *enough.* As it went, you can tell right away “this thing is incompetent.” Although having the hat backward also accomplishes that goal. The fool looks like an idiot both times that way. There may be other exceptions, as well.

I do not accept this!

Wednesday August 11:
Hello. Are you still there? I’m still not!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^carrots

Monday August 9:
I complain about lawn mowers a lot. I really can’t stand them. Every week, May to November, lawn mowers mowing lawns. There must be something we can do about this.

I appreciate them trying to address my issue, but I cannot approve of making a public spectacle of clown mowing. It seems rude. Nobody chooses to be a clown, after all.

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Friday, August 6:
Hello. Evidently I will be going away for a week. No, not necessarily to jail, and you probably won’t notice.

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eep
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WOW, you mean to tell me I can get all the channels that everybody gets for free for less than 20 dollars a month?!?!?

There’s probably more to this package than local affiliates, but Comcast ought to at least hint at that. I hate to think, as much as I know it is true, that it is more than sufficient to market your product exclusively at idiots to make good profits.

This is like Sirius satellite radio offering a “lite” option that allows me to pick up fm stations.

I remember when I passed through the New York City, back in Mayish, witnessing a billboard for a radio station proclaiming “COMMERCIAL FREE MONDAYS!”

WOW! I get to not hear ads or songs I hate EVER by not listening to FM radio! People have been buying personal music playing objects for nearly thirty years now and presumably collecting musical recordings to go along with that. Nobody who owns an ipod has any excuse to complain about commercial breaks on radio stations. You paid all that money for the blasted thing, so use it. “Commercial free” may not even be true. A company can sponsor a block of noise and just have said periodically “the drive at five is brought to you by BURGER KING.”

On that note, I think there is great potential in the field of fast food heads of state and positions of authority.*

Chicken Chancellor

Milkshake Shiekh

Hotdog Dowager

Pizza Princess

Castro Bistro

Burrito Baron

French Fry Pharaoh

Tater Dictator

Beef Caliph

Pancake Pope

Lady Nuggets

Teriyaki Triumvirate

Taco Taliban

Rib Hitler

Pork Warlord

Kupcake Kaiser

Cinnamon Roll Ayatollah

Gang of Four Hoagies and More

Now I’m hungry.

Now I’m not.

*List separated with colors to make it easier to read and because I didn’t realize how awful it looked until I’d already inserted 50 little font codes, not because ten years ago I built a time machine.