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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
January 31, 2022
Death Warden casts Death frequently, and its special attack, Dead End, which inflicts Death.

2-2-2022 oh beets I had some incomplete code in here yesterday, but now I don’t!
///////////////////


A lot of dead celebrity news lately. I assume they are dropping all the time and I merely rarely learn about them until afterward or don’t know who they are.




I learned a lot from Betty White, primarily that Woman’s World goes to press further in advance of distribution than People does

hm WELL I can admit when I’m wrong!

then was Bob Saget’s death


I evidently saved this on july 26 1999, from an already concluded photograph editing contest I saw on some America Online page, possibly. The stupid face manipulation was always funnier to me than the context. I remember I would show this to my sister to get strange reactions.
I believe the “ha! ha!” is meant to be pronounced like an early south park or simpsons parody of Saget, who force-laughed in doubled bursts of “huh!” but i like imagining it being more like The Count from Sesame Street. Not empty and phony, but legitimately entertained, just in the manner of a vampire who likes sequential numbers too much.

I also have this gif from the same contest. It doesn’t amuse me nearly as much but it does hearken back to a more innocent time when people had no idea how to save images properly.

while trying to determine what show the “huh!” Saget was from, I ascertained that while Saget may merely have been MENTIONED on the Simpsons, the simpsons wiki administrator still considers him an important enough figure to the franchise that he has a mortality box, for which harder evidence of his demise is required than “news” that it occurred for the box’s status to reflect that. or maybe

this seems an odd length to go to cope with that.


Our hearts go out to the entire Loaf family


I felt bad about this remark for some reason and followed it up by saying:
I don’t consider a death at 74 years after achieving enduring multi-decade success without any major scandals to his name to be as tragic as they come so I figure he can handle a stupid joke at his expiration’s expense. I didn’t feel any better even though that is true! It doesn’t help that reports of his death consistently cite his appearance in Rocky Horror Picture Show as a defining moment in his career even though it only lasts about three minutes. Did none of these writers see Spice World? Meat Loaf is all over that, even if his character avoids being murdered off-screen.

the next night one of my subconscious dreams involved me discovering an elaborate Doom engine total conversion based on the 1994 historical drama Wagons East Exclamation Point, best known for being so bad that John Candy dropped dead before filming had wrapped.


wikportedly, Candy disliked the script but agreed to appear anyhow as he was one million dollars in debt and still under contract from a previous, presumably better film that was cancelled. Ironically, the movie company got $15 million life insurance money. THAT’s a tragic death!
and Carolco STILL filed for bankruptcy the very next year, despite having released the most successful action movies of all time up to that point.

something I didn’t considering until I cropped the above image, Wagons East also featured Charles Rocket, a former Saturday Night Live actor best known for getting fired from the show for cursing during a sketch about someone having shot him, and then decades later slicing his own throat, subsequently only getting a 3 second silent still image tribute on the program, which presumably had never invited him back for any of its incessant self-indulgent tributes to itself but had mocked his existence at least once during the period when I was watching it. That’s also pretty tragic! Despite having a major role in Dumb and Dumber, a very widely known Jim Carrey film. Fellow comedian Richard Jeni appeared in another 1990s Jim Carrey stega-hit, The Mask, and also killed himself, with a gun. Jim Carrey is one of the highest paid actors of all time and still living, and I don’t know that he made any comment about either of those deaths.


oh alright that explains it, nevermind!

shortly afterward I learned of Louie Anderson’s recent death. I felt bad for him so I made no jokes about it! I made plenty while he was alive. Not here, though, apparently. The closest I appear to have come was trying to put him in that “Hamiltwins” image but not being able to get the drawing to look like him, and casually citing his name in 2014.

not long afterward I saw news about Neil Young and assumed he was dead. He isn’t dead, just having a quarrel with spotify.


why is anybody surprised that a company which can afford to pay for the right to distribute so much commercial audio is turning a massive profit and in the business precisely to do that? it should only be a shocking revelation when one does NOT put money first.

oh give me eight breaks. spotify didn’t invent music nor the concept of listening to it. what happened to all the ipods and pandoras and whatnot that were so faddy with visible people before this? Who was buying new albums on vinyl records in the 21st century if not them? Why would any “music lovers” let someone else decide what music they get to hear? Because the harder someone wants you to know how great their taste in music is and how REAL they are because they like music, the dumber and phonier they are.

I presume this is just the sound of somebody splashing in a bath tub.



January 24, 2022
A crown worn by Terra, it allowed the Gestahlian Empire control the actions and thoughts of the Terra.


a gift commission from a person called RelaxingDragon1 to a person called QuentinCoyote (but drawn by me) featuring a stylishly-hatted individual also named Quentin Coyote at a somewhat less stylish location, pondering whether a round trip is in order.


truly divisive, replies to this picture on various websites have run the distance from figuring I don’t know about the slide and explaining it to me, talking about it like everyone knows about it, and explaining to me that the slide absolutely could not exist as if ’twere my idea, sometimes immediately beside each other.

If the scene looks barren of attractions and unlike a proper amusement park, I should clarify that the real Action Park that I was instructed to evoke did in fact look like this, at least as best I could tell, since I was unable to turn up a photograph of the ostensibly notorious loop slide from any beneficial angles.


At the end of the slide was what appears to be a piece of dark plastic or rubber in a shallow hole, with water running off into the grass, which creates an unpleasant marsh like environment, which is why that helpful plank has been placed beside the plastic. Truly, no expense was cared. I don’t know how the water gets up to the top of the slide platform to go through the tube; a garden hose seemed a reasonable guess, given the production quality. I probably should have made the ski lift chairs bigger but than I would have had to actually detail them and I wasn’t asked to draw them, much less paid to do so! Yet I felt inclined to make this as accurate as I was able to until late in the process, by which point the only area that felt safe to mess with was the mountains and to a lesser degree the trees, since the best way to do that would have involved having them not be green, which seemed somehow less appropriate than faking up their shapes did.

I personally thought it was funnier for the protagonist to approach the slide willingly and smiling, but humor is subjective and not always beneficial to horror narratives. I do wish however that I had remembered about that “achtung” sign idea; I only remembered it just now when I sought these early sketches. I had at one point meant to incorporate it into the setup that was eventually chosen, since I don’t like all the plain unadorned brown and troublesome straight lines here, which are a natural byproduct of me having no intuition or references for a wooden structure I have only seen from the side in tiny, pixelated photographs. a few more props could make the space more interesting without requiring unremarkable fake trees. I also finally see that my difficulty with the perspective on the slide that makes it look more like an enormous shofar than a tube of consistent circumference was that I didn’t diminish the shadow beneath it as it went up. Ewps. The ride attendant was also supposed to be wearing sunglasses, and those DID look like sunglasses at one point but I failed to notice when my layer shenanigans left them no longer doing so. Maybe I will fix such issues if I ever feel sufficiently wronged by the owner of the hat-wearing figure here. Unfortunately he didn’t ask me for the picture and never watched any of my pages, meaning he can’t unwatch those pages either, so I would have to direct both of us quite out of our ways to facilitate all that, which means even more extra work! oh



January 18, 2022
After the battle, there will be a cutscene with some magician-looking man, Tuxedo Mask.

because this is what i have this week


another old thing being redrawn, and as usual I cannot help making the job more complex than it needs to be. I have “designed” the new version to have separate parts that can be customized, possibly including species/racial traits, though i have not made any alternates for that yet. note, however, the present lack of toes that allows me to later give more than that. which I tell you to note because in fact I almost don’t, so maybe i won’t bother adding any. the way sprites get clipped to the ground, depending on what settings “players” use, which I have no way of predicting or controlling, they may never see the feet at all anyway!

the hat, jacket and scarf currently are separate, though there really is no reason to have the scarf without the jacket, and this particular hat complements them, and I might do well to merge them all and have any replacement outfits be complete in themselves (in frap on january 20 in the a m I did so and have updated the gifs from what was here previously). “complete” in a partially dressed sort of way, I mean. ironically, parts that get covered, like the arms, I drew in more detail than the toeless feet that don’t.

the old version, from 2003, has not aged as poorly as some others, and unlike a lot of 4 frame doom monster animations, actually looks like it is walking from the side angles. at least inside the game it does. Right here it looks like it is dancing poorly to whatever music you have playing, and if you aren’t playing any then I imagine the creature looks even stupider.

the new “gun” is simple since I am not really any better at creating convincing imaginary guns than i was in 2003, considering how easily this one is mistaken for a mario pipe in its present state and placeholder color, but i also think i might give a custom embellishment even to that. BUT considering the way it is held more or less requires this shape and likewise precludes the creature carrying a differently shaped object i might save myself some effort to merge?? I think I accidentally uploaded an incomplete version of this text since I remember removing that sentence since it was redundant and went nowhere, yet here still it is.

OF COURSE at this point i have evaluated the idea of guns in this “universe” more so, and imagine that they should be rare, so should a creature so numerous that i want to give it customizable features so as not to appear TOO monotonous, have guns at all? or does these not being very powerful guns excuse their proliferation?

I had also in the past resolved to entirely remove any monsters from the comic strip, such as lope and nemitz, since they are too conspicuous to have hundreds of violent clones, yet I left in pog, and obviously the dopes. A version of this thing does appear over there, and exhibits no aggression whatsoever. However it appears quite briefly, and was never important enough to have a name, and it is almost less “real” of a character than the [gz]doom one is. despite rendering its bell in greater detail than required, I abstained from drawing its forehead tattoo, which you will find is present any other time I have posted drawings of it, and maybe that particular variant belongs to a cult that preaches non-violence, but perhaps also encourages some worse activities, such as delivering unmarked packages, tolerating bow tie impeciles or having toes.



January 9, 2022
With a well-planned campaign, coverage of the beauty’s irritable bowel syndrome hit the Boston Globe, The Miami Herald and MSN.


you will as typically is the case need to click at it to make it bigger for the letters to have any chance at being legible

amitz my making of that video it became apparent that I had last year produced more of these spiteful “commentary” comic strips than pages in the real one, and that is even without this here, which I sketched in February and then considered might not be fair or valid. “influencers” are scum but since I instinctually avoid scum, I have never paid attention to one, and all my experience is from artist dorks I semi-know who may be attempting to emulate influencers without success, and consequently almost nobody knows who they are, and even fewer people see my comic strips that are criticizing the behavior, who aren’t necessarily any of the persons who have also seen the behavior. still, i saw this anew last week and it was funny to me then and so i finishedish it. people who have bitcoinery probably don’t get “imposter syndrome” but in this scenario the creature claiming to have it is an insincere creep, regardless of whether the real people I have seen doing this were. In frap, when I read stories of actual influencers, they seem even less realistic than this blatantly bootlegged dork. Possibly I am not spiteful and petty enough.



January 3, 2022
Teen Skipper’s packaging revealed that she is now “16 years old”. If she was nine when she was introduced (and she was), when Barbie was billed as the “Famous Teen-Age Fashion Doll”, then Barbie could not realistically be considered a teenager any longer.

1-6-2022 ehhhhhhhdit:
I was not thinking clearly and labeled the month of June “June Balboni” as a placeholder name until I thought of something better to call it, and then neglected to think of such a thing. from first through third grade I shared a class with another student named John Balboni and years later found that he was in contact with my younger brother for some reason, and apparently subconsciously I thought his name was funny. I cannot say for certain if that is the case, only that I treated it as if it was on this occasion.
//////////////

2021 in pictures

januwanumary

febumebuscary

marchobarch

aprils of wrath

maybe mays can also be of wrath

june balboni

jul regret writing weird month names

august i should stop

sep tempting me

oct foncer

captain novolinber

decline of month gag name culture



January 2, 2022
Amateur lumber sleuths may have found their most secure home on TikTok, where quick videos of lumber meant to disprove the global lumber shortage have gone viral.


a full year of disasters packed into two minutes

circumstances have inadvertently conspired to prevent this video from happening, and they may have had the right idea!

like last year I was too busy to finish the music until right when I needed it and consequently it was again not finished in a mentally sound manner. Indeed I didn’t know if I had any heretofore unused music at all TO finish and try to use until two days ago. which shouldn’t be important since it is just supposed to be a video video, but the less important something is, the more important something is.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

i warned you about this
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