Ahoy there matey: 27% MORE. And yet, as impressed as I am, I feel under-informed by this comparison.
There is 27 percent more in this bottle than the bottle that it has 27 percent more than! Do you realize what this MEANS? It means nothing! I do not understand why this is a boastworthy feature. Also, I have never seen another relish bottle. Was there a lot of competition for that at one point? I suppose relish is called for infrequently-enough that this bottle could date back to a time when the relish wars were a hot topic.
18 is 6 more than 12. Are you keeping up so far?
Wow! This box has more in it than the box that has less in it! All because the last time I used formula, I cursed the heavens and wished that I had two point five times more than twelve point seven ozes of the formula. Ironically, this formula is incomplete since it fails to state what 2.5 x 12.7 is equal to. My kingdom for an equation!
That is more like it! 8=10 you say? oh ho, 8=12!
at some point it is not enough to state accurate figures. You can provide any old number you want provided you also provide tiny print that admits the figure makes no sense or that your comparison is questionable.
But why are we fighting? There is no reason 8 cannot equal 10 and 12. Sparkle was so ashamed at coming up short in the small number equals bigger number race that that they made their own 8=12, and if that is not enough, it is even 6x. And furthermore, 50%. Let’s just dump as many unrelated numbers and symbols on there as possible. However, for you more traditional folks who prefer a time when life was simpler, 8=10 is still available, but keep in mind that it IS 8+2. I know you don’t want to hear it but it is a basic fact of nature.
Gosh now this stuff is getting complicated. I cannot even get past “ultra regular.”
in other math news, shrek.
An elegant dragon creature has an unusual problem. I generally do wish pleasant occurrences to befall creatures that wear bowties.
I was only asked to have the creature melt and evaporate! The rest is my own fault.
A rather specific commission-animation for Mr. Brown Dragon Boy of the deviant-art website, and potentially others. This one is of course not brown, and perhaps collapses out of distaste for the discrepancy.
The situation follows-up on an earlier animation for the same instigator. Once again, not only melting, like a normal person, but evaporating afterward! What is the world coming to?
Part 3, page 08 of the questionable comic strip.
I was worried that I had lost touch with the comic through all the delays and my lack of a clear path to a conclusion, but I like this page more than many that came before it.
Unfortunately, you can tell nemitz is a scoundrel because nemitz ALWAYS thinks it is funny when elpse gets hurt.
What a ridiculous scenario. The lizard and elpse are fighting over NEMITZ. Nobody should want nemitz, much less two people trying to prove who wants nemitz more! Thankfully these are dumb imps and not people. Still, it makes me mad. The lizard thinks it is being polite by refusing the drink! It thinks it is TOO polite to drink that, even though it is causing a major problem, and it keeps saying lope. It literally does not know how to stop saying its name. After I work so hard to not say its name, it is quite rude to sabotage my work.
The Kentucky Fried chicken company is evidently banking on the negative reception to its latest line of Colonels, just glad to be worthy of comment. Subway must heard about it and figured “we can do better.” In other news, Ronald McDonald has just joined Isis.
With that in mind, I retract my remarks from seven years ago regarding Jared Fogle; as a twenty-five year old I was probably too old to be spied on by him.
Likewise, referring to Fogle as a harmless former pornography mogul was erroneous on my part.
Another tv host that I watched is done with, and I am not looking to pick up new ones.
I did watch the deely show during its previous transition, eh seventeen years ago, but I was very set in my ways then, and had not at that point been watching it for nineteen years. My sincere hope is to not make it to twenty, one because I obsess over seeing every incidence of the program, and two because I write about them, resulting in what an informal poll of my anxiety suggests are my most boring posts.
Aiding me in this stoppage is that I also stopped reading Mark Evanier’s website, in which he talks about TV hosts a lot, after I deduced that he wasn’t reading the emails I sent simply because the name I signed them with looked fake. Which is true, but so stupid that I thought it would be funny to mention. Against me is that I happen to share responsibility of assisting my father, whose physical state renders him only able to watch television and read books for hobbies, and we run out of books faster than we run out of television! It is impossible for television to run out. Curiously, it is the same person who ten years ago had the responsibility of handling my transportation to college classes because my mental state rendered my unfit to obtain a car-driving license, and I was then, as now, continually spurred to write endless commentary based on the broadcasts I encountered. Our roles have switched, but since I still prefer to not impose on others my viewing/listening preference, and in these cases, to not have the machines on at all, control of them default to any present persons who prefer them on.
I do not want Trevor Noah, the next replacement host, to fail; I want him to succeed in a way that only appeals to other people, like the XBox, but not to so many people that I feel like the world is running away from me and wants me to die, so more like the Wii.
And as soon as Jon Stewart was off the air, punditry appeared to present him as someone who saw through hype and was always mentally grounded in reality and truth, an impeccable model of integrity and unmatched prowess whose likes would never be seen again through all the times. Which in saying, you become exactly the idiot Stewart devoted his program to criticizing, which means you missed the point of what you claim to appreciate him for.
But Crossfire came back! And the same sort of garbage debase debating thrives on the internet!
But Jim Cramer didn’t cause a recession! And financial garbage kept happening!
But only the ones that came on the show! And then only kind of because they are slippery, and he admitted last month that these were mostly pointless endeavors!
By treating people like deities, exaggerating their achievements and forgetting their errors, you invite more disasters in the same vein.
Gorf and yabbering resumed about “what’s stephen colbert gonna do? He isn’t “The Character” anymore!” But he is! He just did it on this show now! David Letterman, whose show Colbert is replacing, was in character. Glen Beck is in character. Gordon Ramsay is in character. Alex Trebek is in character. Your local news anchors are all presenting artificial personalities to a degree. Literally the only difference between Colbert and other entertainment show hosts is that others don’t pretend to have political views contrary to their personal beliefs. Conan O’Brien has a number of personas that go on and off to suit a situation, and has repeatedly given false yet consistent biographical information to viewers. He claims his real name is Chip Whitley, he went to the Harvard Driving School instead of the university, his mother is Edith Bunker and that Andy Richter saved his life in Vietnam. He blames Jay Leno for pushing him out of the job that he pushed Jay Leno out of. He doesn’t get to be two people. He may not even be one real person.
The previous The Daily Show host Craig Kilborn is not a comedian so much as a very strange man. His 8 second pre-taped cameo on Jon Stewart’s final show should have been funny, where he says something like “I always knew you’d run it into the ground,” if Kilborn played it straight, but he chose to film it in his wine cellar bunker wearing a ridiculous grid-lined suit, which was so odd that I was still fixated on how odd it was when Kilborn delivered his line. I had to watch it two more times before I realized Kilborn wasn’t wearing a bathrobe. Although maybe that was supposed to be part of the joke: Kilborn assumes Stewart has been fired because Kilborn lives in a wine cellar and has very little contact with the outside. And then it was just weird that Kilborn was on the show at all. Not that he was banned from appearing, but he makes people uncomfortable. And I relate to that. Never being quite sure what joke I am going with, and so I use everything, and they are often at odds, and people do not realize I have made a joke at all. Alright so why don’t I have money with which to dig a hole and live in it?
I admit that the fact that Kilborn got almost no recognition from the audience colored my awkwardvision. It wasn’t that nobody recognized him, since Vance Degeneres, who hasn’t been seen in the years since he left the Daily Show, and Mo Rocca, who hasn’t been funny, clearly got a reaction. And Dan Bakkedahl, paired with Matt Walsh, was probably the least recognizable of any of them. Literally the only thing I remember Matt Walsh doing was appearing in a best-of special (the show used to put out 4 or 5 of those a year) of his own segments, with a wrap-around sketch where he was antagonized by his own evil twin, who proclaimed near the end “now it’s time for evil twin to evil WIN!”
Dan Bakkedahl I just remember due to his name being said, and Joel McHale of The Soup (another tv show, which nobody else here watched after I donated my television, thus relieving me of my own duty to do so) mispronouncing it as Bake-a-doll. Anyway, if the studio audience recognized this gang, it recognized Kilborn; it just felt no reason to appreciate Kilborn.
There are Vance and Mo, as I said. Nice to see Vance is recovering from his stroke, not nice to see that his public appearances have been so minimal since leaving the Daily Show that evidence of one of my six all-time wikipedia edits are still on his page.
Seriously, you chose cat in tree over porkchop fire? Philistines. Also, ‘apparatuses’ is correct. Go jump in a dumpster, user:Alan_Smithee.
Celebrity Jeopardy non-winner Josh Gad’s not-necessarily-funny loudness was consistent with past appearances despite his cited salary to the contrary (and no longer being as fat). He provided a voice in the animuted film Frozen, which my father has seen but I have not. A few weeks after this show criticizes D. Trump for making his presidential pitch as “I’m rich,” this Gad that I’m supposed to like comes out and yells “Disney money, BITCH!” The difference, of course, is that Josh said “bitch.”
Stacey Grenrock-Woods, whose Daily Show reception was similar to Gad’s, did not appear, but did not appear in Book of Mormon either. She did have many more segments aired, however — 55 in total, if imdb.com is to be believed, and it is not always, since it only lists one for Gad, and I know he appeared at least four times, including this one.
By the roy, I am glad Donald Trump has the attention he is getting. The American republican party has been led by a kangaroo court of irrational loudmouth cartoon characters with no solutions as long as I have been casually acknowledging politics, long before Fox News streamlined our access to it. The party created this opportunity for somebody like Trump, and deserves everything that Trump does with the opportunity, and the party deserves to not be able to control Trump. They did not learn anything from Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sarah Palin, and this is the next stage of that. Now that the American public widely supports homosexual rights, believes in evolution and other similarly “blasphemous” endeavors, the republican party has lost Christian moral authority as a means to prop itself up, which is all it ever had, and nobody believes it anymore when it claims it’s actually talking about science instead of religion, either. Without that they just have to get more and more ridiculous to get attention. The Jon Stewart exit aired the same night as the once-recent republican debate… One of these indistinguishable dumb shows that the Daily one had little impact on the continued creation of, interviewed a focus group after the debate, because that’s safer than actually expressing an opinion for yourself, and one member chosen to speak on camera claimed to have formerly been a Trump supporter, but no longer! I cannot think what put the guy off: Trump’s total consistency with past behavior, that made him the party frontrunner and got him in the debate among the sponsored politicians to begin with?
I would love for the republican party to self destruct and allow a competent group to take its place and challenge democrats on legitimate topics instead of the some old non-topics both sides mutually agreed to fake-argue about so they could maintain their rubbish party-based electoral college system. Which seems a naive thing to say, and polls don’t amount to a hill of beans in an election over a year away, but I appreciate not knowing exactly what is going to happen next and finding an opening to have naive hopes in.
Back on topic, the less daily-like shows I view, the less aware I will be of polls and therefore the less likely I will feel the need for that manner of interlude.
Wordpress, the system that manages this website content, is agony.
Do you see the list of recent posts on this page? That truly basic, unimpressive list? It took me all yesterday to implement. I thought it would surely be faster to find an automatic method to make the system check for new posts and order them by date than for me to manually manage that list myself.
I sought out the wordpress forums, and turned up old posts on the topic. At each stage I found an existing request for help with my problem:
Everybody gives the scantest possible amount of information to get rid of you, and then the junk still does not work. At that point I would need to find a post that simultaneously requested a solution to the base problem, the sidebar problem and the appearance problem, as a prior request does not exist. In the case when I asked about a problem for myself, nobody answered and the topic was closed despite being unresolved, because they only have easy answers and would rather ignore something that confounds them than admit to not knowing. Or maybe I seemed like somebody who would call out an easy answer for being useless.
I should explain that wordpress uses “themes” to allow users to change their sites’ appearances easily from a guided-user-interface, without editing code. But that only allows certain basic changes. “Widgets” were a later addition to themes that allowed even more changes, but could not themselves be changed. And still only worked on sidebars. “Plug-ins” are different from widgets, because they are not integrated into the wordpress code, which ironically makes them easier to force to work WITH wordpress the way I want them to. So I need to dig into the code anyway, every time, for everything, and test it 800 times until it works or I find a disappointing but functional compromise to fall back on, which I hate doing, which is why I use the same graphics for months or years at a time instead of one month each like I formerly did before I installed wordpress. The whole thing barely works and needs constant encouragement.
Why is a basic reasonable thing: having a list of posts NOT be on the SIDE of the page, so improbable and impossible that the developers did not anticipate it being necessary and none of the dorks who understand this stuff in their spare time ever saw a need to figure it out? The exact same garbage happened for my automated comic strip site-section (although it was over the number of pages displayed at once and not the folder issue), and the coppermine art gallery mechanism. And for Zdoom, ten years ago, which is why I never finished the dingdang thing and still mentally fixate on it. Every time every time every time. the thing I want is always just outside of permissible, for no reason that is apparent. So I have to figure it out or leave it behind.
I have had various diagnoses throughout my life; tourette syndome here, asperger syndrome there, high functioning autism, disco fever, what-have-you-ever. These mean that I need help with some things. But if nobody can provide help, is it really me who is disabled? Outside the internet, I am surrounded by people who drink themselves sick, smash their expensive telephones, misplace their cars, will not read their own mail, will not let themselves become aware of their bills, stereotype and condemn anyone whose opinion differs, adopt pets they cannot look after (and dump those pets on me), buy junk they cannot afford, and then do not use or return the junk. Am I disabled just because I cannot instantly bond with any yahoo off the street over my own screwups? Hey I broke my wrist assaulting a piece of architecture too! That makes us normal! Let’s go spend $300 on two cups of beer!
Technology that is supposed to make life easier and be so “professional”-looking becomes itself such a massive burden that we give up on things that we might have finished had the technology not insisted on becoming so gosh darn convenient. And when I persevere it is only through hacky patchwork repairs that look uglier than if I had just stuck with the outdated thing I was replacing. The outdated thing that has all its data in one file, in one folder. Then a useless idiot happens along and tells me I should have been using this or that BETTER miracle system from the beginning.
Once again the only way to get what I want is to edit the actual wordpress files outside of the theme stuff. Which are in different folders, and inevitably lead to copies downloaded and new versions uploaded to the wrong folder amidst all the folder switching I will have to do trying to bring the css and php into accord. And when wordpress has a new version, it updates itself, quite without asking, and thinks nothing of overwriting my changes outside the theme folder, even if it has not itself changed the files that I edited. So I may end up needing to fix it every time the version changes. But I am capable of changing it! I am capable of fixing it! For the time being I have control. That is what life is about for losers: you find a way to co-exist with things that are set up to make you give up. You do not win, but you keep yourself from losing completely. And watch out for widgets that pretend to be your pal but just want to hold you back and expect rewards for it.
And I may in the end decide that the “page” view does not work for me anyway, and opt for something outside of wordpress, to which I can add some customized mechanism that reads wordpress excerpts without messing anything else up because it is not itself built on wordpress. But I will have dropped the wordpress option because I thought it looked bad, not because dorkhnical support refused to support me.
This is not a mopey entry. This is how I conquer mopiness.
A possible back cover for the hopefully imminently imminent self-published first volume of the bimshwellian comicoid. In fact, the exact same volume that was hopefully imminent a year ago. That plan got shoved behind other things, which then got shoved behind other things. After 11 months of such shoving, the management got confused and accidentally shoved the first shoved item in front of something else, and my intention is to act on it before ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHGHF I’VE BEEN SHOVED
On this occasion, I wanted to give potential viewers a sense of the content without needing them to have any existing idea of the characters, and without having to read much. And also none of the actual pages work on their own anyway whatever your casual tolerance to mass wordage is.
Next comes an alternate version, that while personally amusing to me, distracts from the one joke, that I need to get out without dwelling on, because it is not very special and has almost certainly been done in some form previously.
Also, Yibrik may ultimately be too strange to appear within my best-attempt-at-normal-person bait. Further, within what is to be the book, yib only does appear in one frame, unacknowledged, and speaks in one other frame, unseen, so nobody would have any reason to attempt to figure out what its problem is.
However, I may use some variation on this version for the interior pages of the third/sixth chapter (keeping in mind that book part-1 will only be half of internet part-1), by which point yibrik’s strangeness will be more welcome, and the spectacle of kumquat going shopping at a conventional supermarket, with pog and yibrik, will be more apparent as strange, and likewise welcome in its strangeness. I meant it here to be strange, but now realize it is likely to be taken in the Pixar mundane-conditioning sense of strange, where we see monsters going to a normal-looking school or deformed insects driving in normal looking streets and aren’t even supposed to think there is anything silly about that, which will work in my favor because as I said I need to get normal people to look at what I made, because weird people usually do not have as much money, except when they want me to draw something else.
Of course usually only weirdos read comic books, but you know what I am committed to this and need to do it just to stop fixating on it, so I desire that you stop second-guessing me!
This year’s hope is coming picture.
Tracey Sullivan, the race-runner, opted for a less chaotic setup that better reflects what the money actually goes to: holistic treatments for hospital patients. The hoofed creature here is applying some manner of hand-wavy therapy called Reiki and not in fact contemplating strangling the reptile. I added the dorks behind the trees without asking or being asked to just to make it amusing for myself.
Due to cost matters, the color total was reduced. Since idiots are cheap I was able to keep them all in there.
This was the first sketch. It had, to me all the important elements: the number of years we had been doing it and something bad about to happen. I may miss the point of “hope.” Also of Roman numerals because before I sent it I wondered why I had written eight instead of seven and erased one of the columns, and after sending it realized I had in fact written seven the first time, and that is now said six, and drew the last column back in. And then I told this story and realized it made more sense if I erased the column anew.
It was at this point that Tracey asked me if I could draw someone in a hospital bed receiving reiki.
It was a good question!
I looked up pictures of “reiki” on the internet, and mostly found mildly abstract pictures of hands with explody light coming out, so it seemed reasonable to assume that it was a destructive and chaotic force. However, in the end I was asked to use my upper left design, where nothing was happening! The bottom sketch shows that I still could not help myself and tried to insert trouble into it, but in the end I kept it rather simple, which was probably for the best since I would not want to upset someone so dangerous.
I also deemed depicting reiki being done with a rake, as it is pronounced as if it is, as too obvious.
This was in a previous entry, when I got temporarily on to the topic of passive acceptance of victimhood, but it was not meant to be the primary topic, but it was very boring. I will surreptitiously insert it here immediately before I post something slightly more interesting, so that I can know I posted it without worrying that anybody might have read and been bored by it.
Shia LaBeouf, during a performance art piece in which he would not speak, and his collaborators who arranged the exhibition report that LaBeouf was raped during the performance. By someone who had already been “whipping” him for ten minutes, and there were lots of people around, and the whipping raping psychopath was allowed to escape afterward. Am I supposed to accept that not speaking in the name of “art” is more important than calling for help, trying to protect yourself from trauma, or are people so terrified of appearing critical that they won’t ask for additional details that will make this seem less ridiculous? Did the person have a gun, even though there were guards checking for that? Was there a threat first? Piers Morgan is a jackass. His sentiment is not mine. There is no excuse for raping, I should not need to say that. And he also spoke from the perspective of inherited outrage, because that is also popular: to be the first to get offended on behalf of another party*.
But you might as well have a performance art project where you stand in the Lincoln Tunnel and then lament your plight that somebody in the world was mean enough to not drive around you. Morgan himself, on Morgan’s own tv program let Alex Jones yell at him for 20 minutes. They are both jackasses that deserve each other.
The first article ends by suggesting that LaBeouf did not get police involved because he was ashamed the he couldn’t defend himself and so kept the story to himself, except he didn’t because two other “artists” on the scene knew something was up and we know about it now well within the statute of limitations.
Is the word “rape” the problem? If we say the woman whipped Monsieur TheBeef for ten minutes, then stripped off his clothes and dumped a vat of pudding on him without raping, then would we be allowed to think that silently letting somebody do that to you, and then silently not telling your co-dorks that somebody did that, is peculiar? We have a fear now of discussing rape that we don’t have with murder, even though murder is worse.
It is not easy to sit in a room for hours, not knowing what people are going to do to you. But if you do it on purpose because you fancy yourself an “Artist” then I have difficulty feeling sympathy. Conversely, I have no sympathy for artists who put in no effort at all. Art is pretty stupid. It is one of our great fame lotteries. How many gimmicky boneheads have we made millionaires out of just because nobody with money will acknowledge that everything they do is ugly?
Rachel Dolezal, who famously passed herself as being of African descent when she was not: I have no problem with her identifying with another culture more than the one she was born into. I have a problem if she invented fake hate crimes against herself so that she could publicize that they occurred. It means she wants to be black because she finds glamour in being of a discriminated-against social class. She wants to be a victim.
She was initially discriminated against, while openly-white, because people THOUGHT she was blackish. Society laughs at that sort of claim, I think unjustly, and so Dolezal redevoted her life to accruing discrimination she could get sympathy for. We raise people to seek exploitable victimhood.
Gorf it took me two weeks to get remotely comfortable with posting this, and in that period I have added a further portion that I once again am not sure I want to post, and am so deferring for later consideration. That is life. Except I explicitly concluded it by saying I was not going to write any more depressing entries, and so until I post that depressing entry I have nothing in place to prevent me from writing more.
so is earnestly trying to appreciate wrong-headed remakes for stuff that worked without being remade, so I can at least swear off doing that.
Because a showdown can occur in any location at any moment.
(filmed on-location in Portable Texas)
You might possibly have encountered this older version.
I wanted to touch it up for printing, but I had some issues with the background. First of all, it does not demonstrate Portable Texas well to show it being used in a Texas-like environment.
Also, it was from a period when I was obsessed with creating the impression of otherworldliness through the color-shifting of commonplace things, until I got around to coming up completely with non-common things. So grass became yellow, tree trunks became blue, rocks became purple and all that. But these were not necessarily aesthetically pleasing, since all natural objects have a flow to them that my arbitrary shifts lacked, and in fact real grass can be yellow, real tree trunks can be blue and real rocks can be purple, given the proper circumstances and lighting. So it just looked like I had no grasp of light. On this occasion I seem to also have decided that cactuses should be red, even though I already shifted another green object to yellow, so the ugliness was not even consistent, and that desert rocks were green, so that people would just assume I was taking a lazy shortcut to drawing grass, because nobody else would know that I only drew YELLOW grass. I cannot trust people to do their research so those needed to go!
The original probably is funnier, because the more I work over a drawing, the less sincere positive energy it has, but at least less people will think I do not know how to draw grass.