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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
April 25, 2017
From what I observe, he’ll eventually die at the hands of a common man.


An attempt to quickly make a scene out of four unrelated creature sketches that happened to be near each other in my drawing book. In the past I have only used two. Perhaps I will try three sometime. I have hundreds of these tiny little idiots.
And it did not work very well, which is why i waited over a month to put it here. Usually I only make “artwork only” posts when I have been too busy to finish anything else for this site by my imaginary weekly deadline (which I have missed by several hours the past three occasions). This looks like one of those corny publicity shots Nintendo put out when hyping the early development on the N64, where there would be a cardboard-cutout looking picture of Mario or Rare ltd retconned computer generated Donkey Kong in a corny but fancily-lit 3d environment. But I only drew it in a hurry on that day to meet an imaginary deadline on another website. A surprising amount of my obligations are imaginary! But this week they are real (albeit not to anybody paying me money), so here is one more rushed site post. Perhaps that is just the way it will be from now on! Perhaps I have finally reached the point where life is just plain too complicated to do anything personally meaningful except at the expense of having any place in the world. I had my time, and did not spend it efficiently. In fact I took more than I was entitled to, and I did not win.

Perhaps I draw losers like this because they remind me I could do so much worse!



April 18, 2017
Maslin also found the film to lack in actual surfing content.[12]

page 21 of part 3 of this!
this page accomplishes one thing: it saves me from having to draw a character that looks like a cat in the future. my tolerance for cats has dwindled considerably since I first introduced this character without any attempt at “design” whatsoever.

The sequence that follows does not actually prove anything but i am amused by the script I wrote and the little previews I drew. it is all information that can be introduced later. And I tried to cram it into an absurdly high number of frames on one page, but hopefully restraint will win out and I will make two pages out of it, however little information is conveyed.



April 11, 2017
coming up the dancing dolls are bringing some smurf heat to the dance floor

page 20 of part 3 of this! Except it’s actually just part of page 19 again because I decided 19 was far too cramped, and there was one final frame I wanted to add in, which I was going to then have to put on the next page, which was already ludicrously cramped just in the layout stage, before I start adding in whatever has not even occurred to me yet. Notice how this still feels too cramped, and despite the copious amount of new drawing I have done, it still feels rushed and incomplete, if you want to thoroughly undermine my effort. It was terribly demoralizing to have fallen so far behind on redrawing old pages, so it seemed prudent to start redrawing new pages.

Also, I have been quite sick, my father has been in a hospital with an uncertain fate, and I have been futilely trying to get my service provider to fix my broken email but they inexplicably keep finding ways to prolong the “not reading what I say to them and repeatedly offering the same obvious and wrong solution” phase, while I am also sick and going to a horrible hospital that drains energy out of me that i don’t have because someone else is sicker than I am. I do not request or desire the sympathy of strangers, but I wanted to explain some of that somewhere, because I do not like submitting unsatisfactory work unless I also get to complain about it. However, this is a shorter negative portion than I usually accompany comic updates with, so I may be at last making real progress.



April 3, 2017
Tin Woodman was a hardened criminal so heartless he was sentenced to be placed in a tin suit for eternity. The torture of being encased in the suit had softened him and made him gentle and kind.


Sure to be the most important 80 seconds of your life.
The proper flash vector version can be seen right over here, unless you are using a telephone, since telephones do not like it, and for good reason, I say.
The previous part can be seen at there and the flash version is probably there but I am not going to check on that!
Without meaning to I hoped this would be the release that convinced people I was not just a bum pretending to have some useful skill, which would at last permit me to breakthrough to the next level of unobscurity. It is rough in some parts, due to being made in a strange way in a strange program, also I repeatedly forgot to go back and draw Greegorp’s legs properly in the part where they are visible and strange even though that very part is plainly visible in a previous recent post here, but I think the good parts in it are the proof I sought. In the end it convinced as many people as the snake cartoon, which is to say, nobody who was not already on board, but I think my technique has improved overall, and whatever the case it is was necessary for my psychological state to move forward on this. As always, I need to know I made it more than anybody else needs to see it!



March 27, 2017
The game consists of traveling around a space fortress meanwhile shooting aliens and spaceships. An object called “Bongo” could be used as a defense method.


People laugh at Donald Trump for that McDonald’s commercial he did with Grimace but overlook the fact that Ted Cruz IS 1970s Burger King’s Duke of Doubt. This is important because as a nobleman of a foreign nation, Cruz violated article two of the US Constitution by running for president. We are told to worry about Russian influence on our government but there is an embassy to the Burger Kingdom in every major city.


Which is not to indicate the Duke necessarily pleases the king but he does what he is told as best he knows how.
Apparently I have more to say about this. I presumed I had talked at length about the Duke on past occasions, but there seems no easily-obtainable record of it on this website. Certainly, my preliminary inquiry leads me to doubt that there is.

addender: I showed a picture of the duke in this entry here but did not discuss the matter.



March 20, 2017
Because of production challenges, those characters were changed into puppets, then dropped entirely before shooting began.


You may mock me for drawing creaturefolk who abstain from wearing trousers but at least I regularly issue belts; Lizard Man from Capcom’s 1991 arcade classishc Magic Sword has to CARRY that scabbard at ALL times. And Magic Sword is not a brief jaunt; either; there are 50 stages!

Eh don’t push it! A bunch can be cleared in under 30 seconds, and many can be skipped! However, skipping while holding a sword and a scabbard will wear you out on a long journey. Lizardman risks mild eventual pain from clutching one object that long.


Please, Ninja, put that thing down first! I know you want to help but right now you are just complicating matters.

I would ask Thief to carry something but I am concerned he would not give it back.

Thief, you appear to have come into a bit of wealth recently.


Did you share it with Lizard Man? He seems to have spent it all on gold rims and breast implants instead of practical things that he needs! So irresponsible! Typical frivolous lizard. Reptiles don’t even HAVE mammaries. And I can refer you to several people who will think they are extremely smart for telling you that.


Think you I would wed such a brute? My mother warned me about lizard men like you! I know you’re only holding a shield instead of a scabbard to appease me.

I see you have met the underwear and bare chest dress code for the wedding but oh! Don’t tell me you lost your sword! I just saw you throw away three perfectly good ones! What am I to do with you?


Well well, it appears I have some options now.




March 13, 2017
The Captain Boots make it possible for him to take a 100-meter fall with no injuries to himself, or any damage to his boots.


A landscape sketch from five years ago that I tried to do up properly more recently, but now see as without focus and not reasonable to dwell on further! Perhaps I will think of a purpose for it and consequently a path to finishing it later. Preferably one with fewer stairs than usual.



March 6, 2017
up next, our exclusive tour inside a real housewive’s closet

This is a major matter I have been occupied with the past half year. Major in the sense that it eats much time, not that it is important.



These depict a creature named techno made up by a person most recently called beepysopod.
Although I have offered to make drawings for money for years for, this is the first one I have received consistent interest in from other people. And that is because while there are many, many amateur artists on the internet who are more technically skilled and/or more visible than I am, or just plain not as angry as I am about the wrong things, most of said persons are terrible at pixel-level artwork. A few people are better, but not enough of them are to totally crowd me out like usual. Or being better leads them to other opportunities so that they are no longer available for small time work.

The prevailing mentality is that it is just a regular drawing done at low resolution, or with a 1-pixel wide outline. And again most buyers cannot tell. And most people in general do not care about pixel art in 20167 that is not in service of homaging popular commercial properties. (the awareness of which contributing to my anger and the public ignoring of which contributing to my non-visibility)

A FEW people do interpret this as useful and unique, however, such as the owner of the rightside figure, Fallenfolf, and here we are. I of course have known I am “good” at this for many years; there was a time when there was no way to draw on a computer EXCEPT zoomed in, using a mouse. But back when there was real NEED for this skill, in 1996, I did not know anybody. And I still don’t know anybody, so here we are again. Although now I have the scrap of legitimacy that makes people willing to pay me scraps of money to make them, although generally the people who buy from me do not know anybody either, which keeps me available for scrappy art work and the game from breaking. Can you imagine if I did something meaningful with my life? It would be a disaster. My entire personality draws from my life being a joke. Anything I do right is inspired by doing things wrong. If it were possible for me to predict what would go right, I would only do right things, and therefore do them even worse.

Anywhy, what changed was the introduction of the Telegraph messenger service. You might have heard of it, that is the one Islamic State militants use to coordinate their attacks since the story is that Telegram does not track its users. Which also means paranoid furries love it. One of telegram’s major features is “stickers,” 512×512 pixel images any user can shove at any other user. Many people will draw these in exchange for money. Usually poorly-drawn and scaled down heads making idiotic exclamations are preferred. The beeply isopod person happened to ask me for some, but without specifying that they be poorly drawn or disembodied heads, and I took it upon myself to draw them at the actual display size, since, you know, I COULD, and I offered that person five examples, all of which I was asked to complete. Ever the shrewd business-thing, I did all five for free, then three more for free even as I found myself increasing the detail level, uncertain at what point it was no longer experimental and that I could guarantee a consistent level of quality. After this point a single person asked to pay me for one, and I set the rate at $20, because that was about as much as I could imagine somebody paying me.


AND I promoted it with this specific image, because it was the best of the group, even though it was also the most difficult and time-consuming one of the group and under no circumstances would I feel adequately compensated to draw a prop more complex than the character I was requested to draw for less money than I could get a good pizza with in this miserable overpriced town.

Yes that ought to solve all my problems. But it did not because as I sold more, I kept increasing the complexity level, which people didn’t even know they were getting, and didn’t necessarily want, either, because it did not necessarily work!

At this point I only look greedy, which is fine because I need to scrap the “one price for whatever you want” system and put a cheap rate on the cheap drawing and a higher rate on a better-produced item. But I cannot easily do that because

I only allotted that much space for pixel junk on this garish chart, a chart which was already agony to cram as much junk into as there is. Because I thought people would ignore the garish chart if it was not orderly and its sections evenly distributed. Every picture is a distinct element, and text is on different layers, so that I could change the examples and what my name was based on what website I posted this on because I do in fact have dumber names than bimshwel that I do not want to have used interchangeably with it, since the other mes make even worse things. Then I had to remember to swap all those details around again when I adjusted the price on the one thing people bought. Which I eventually forgot to do, which is why this one says “grebij” on it.
And I only have the stupid chart at all to makes things easier! Because if I write out what I am charging in text form, with multiple examples for each category and descriptions of what each category involves, people don’t read it and just ask me directly, and then I cannot remember what I wrote and risk giving even wimpier prices.
If somebody refers directly to the chart, I know they have already seen and accepted my prices and at least are not going to try and pay me less than that.
Except for one person who did but if you are reading this then it wasn’t you!
I often do not realize what a sad state I am in until long after issuing a price estimate. Because I cannot well start working on something, then give a proper estimate, and risk having the other party say “ehhhh no dice.” Or worse, try to pay me in dice!


Observe that these are considerably more tightly-drawn than the first five, and more effort was taken to prevent and remove glaring edge artifacts. It SEEMS like I have done something properly while planning to, which should disprove my earlier theory. Since I made the first group without thinking, they came out rather simply and everybody was pleased. But these I obsessed over, without only minor practical improvement. Although I did not knowingly change my method; I merely paid more attention to it.



These ones, for a Scoots-Buragi, who saw the previous group and wanted a similar meltitude, were a bit loose again, but with all the stripes in there I thought it was justified. The ends still taper to 1×1 pixel points occasionally. Thankfully this did not, as some animated work last year did, endear me toward people who thought that I must surely have the same erotic fixation on masculine figures melting as they did, but I continued to have buyers anyway. So I seem to be coming out ahead, for once.


In fact they may have endeared me toward a dear, Kait Foxdear. That is dear in the precious sense, hence an A, even though the creature has deer components. The world is quite complex. This drawing is tightly rendered anew, and I kept the colors under control. Except for there being some bright green pixels stuck to the edges that I literally did not notice and remove until I went to write this website entry. wh-wh-whoopth.

For one HellBaby-From-Hell, this one came out almost TOO easily, so that I felt like I must have done something wrong, and so I got the details even tighter.


Which then totally spoiled me for these two, the first for Trufours and the second for Relaxingdragon (obviously, Relaxingdragon requested the raccoon person), whose subject matters were considerably more complex than the Hell-Baby’s. Finding a reasonable point at which to stop was impossible for me. Everything was drawn at 1 pixel and I put no limit on color density, although the latter party requested that I limit the hues, and consequently I thought it prudent to fill in the transparent sector with other grey tones. But then that destroyed its ability to be used as transparent imagery! Also, [depressing digression]. However, ultimately only two people really need to like any of them, right? Me and the recipient. But I also need other people to keep wanting them. Theoretically these are the best ones I did, but they are NOT because I beat the energy out of them.


This one, ostensibly a gift for somebody named Doomdweller from another called Syrenti, I was amidst while wondering why the last two were less good, and finished while realizing why they were less good, rather too late to do it differently!




This gives an idea of the tedious process. However, I made this video BEFORE I realized I had slipped into an undesirable way of doing things; I only thought to record it because I thought I was finally doing something properly! Alas, I can only be right by accident and I lack the resources to record my entire life. A pity, I would love to see a 3 minute video of me not messing up so I could determine what that looks like and try to be more like it.


I think everybody would like to see that.



February 27, 2017
He also has a clown tattoo on his biceps,[164] which he got at age 19 because he was voted “class clown” in high school, but says it did not turn out the way he wanted it to and that he plans to get it replaced with another clown that more closely matches what he originally requested.

(There is a brief looping SWF video here that you will not see if you are browsing on a telephone. I could make an animated gif out of it but if you saw it you might think I should not have bothered!)


Seeing my sister Salome more irrationally annoyed at the Hamilton guy than I am made my night. I had not intended to watch, and I certainly did not intend to mention Lindo McMirando again but there in the presence of the spectacle I was fascinated with it. I do not have the emotional investment in this sort of thing to complain about any other aspect of the program and nobody needs me to do that (I need me to do this).
She had to leave the room, HA HA HA HA I laughed like that for about 30 seconds. Like somebody from a comic strip or a video game.

One big slow HA after another. It looks fake to see written out but that is what happened.

It is not easy disliking so many, many things that are inescapably heralded. Having disliking company who are also not insane makes it more pleasant. I specify “not insane” because I have known some sorts whose discontent I related to up to a point, but then they let it run their lives. Although our current presidente empowers that sort of attitude, even though without existing money and influence you will never make the core contacts necessary to elevate yourself by acting like that, and will just bring pain to yourself and those around you. So then I start to think I must also be insane and that my own discontent is not valid. But it IS, sometimes, to a degree, and however unpleasant, I like it better than pretending to like stuff that I don’t. But I do not revel in it. I do not seek that which makes me miserable. It is highly adept at finding me, but this could be so much worse if I and it were both in on the scheme.

And so, this dorky little man alone on a stage rapping tough, it is hilarious how bothered we are. At least he shaved off that weird beard for the occasion. And he of the hyphenated first name was all over the broadbast despite only being nominuted for one award. The system wants him in it. I almost felt bad that he didn’t win the one award since I would have enjoyed the intensely negative reaction in here, and I worried I might have cursed him with my evil energy, like I did to Haley Joel Osment. Even though barring a Roberto Benigni-as-Pinocchio level overestimation of public adulation, he is probably going to be at every awfward show for the rest of my life. Unlike Bernigni he got scooped up by Disney, who will not tolerate challenges to their Real versions of folklore characters, and is only going to get harder to avoid. But this time, La Land La could not be overcome with regard to incessant mentions and camera time for participants, and its wretchtacular Best Picture win was what finally disgusted Sallius out of the room for good. Ha ha hee ho heh that is almost as funny, in retrospect.

Actually on that topic, recently the Disney company re-released Pinocchio and acted like that is a big deal for the 80th time, and the ad inexplicably has some ahhhhh oh oh oh song in it even though the actual film has its own songs which aren’t that. Any time there is song with a chorus saying “ahhhhhhh” or “na na na” or “oh oh oh” there is a good chance somebody will want it in a bad ad. Ads love songs with really breathy nonsense vocals

Also on that topic, but not on the topic I first alsoed on it:


I have seen news about this dork twice in my life and both times he had that same scumbag expression.
Our top story, some disembodied head guy that is probably horrid to talk to has made himself impossible to talk to
And a followup: apparently the company that owns everything was giving him money and only just realized he had that face. Gosh his middle name is “die.” Who assumed he wasn’t a corporate liability?


Who’s to blame when parties get out of hand? Who’s to blame when they get poorly planned?



February 20, 2017
I go and stay a while and all the folks I meet they say you won’t stay long you got them travelin’ feet



A totally contextless and silent piece of something I have been working on. Initially I instituted bizarre movements in the overall production to distract from my unwillingness and inability to animate mouths. But recently it came to pass that I started animating the mouths anyway, which seems like it will render the completed product more presentable to others, but without making it unsightly to me, because ultimately I want people apart from myself to like this stuff that I spend years on, right? Yes, I do, and mouths are golly geeby gupty important to them. I am not very GOOD at it, but the mouth-work on Garfield and Friends was even worse and that stayed on the air for eight years. This only needs to be tolerable for eighty seconds. However, I will miss the order and balance that an absence of mouth movements brings about, especially since the way I do it, I need to redraw the whole head for each frame, rather than reusing the same one, so I use that as justification for showing this right here now. Also, I have no time to write anymore! I tried and it was bad, and sad. I cannot write non-sad things while I am worried, and I am worried about all the non-writing I need to finish. I am also worried about not having a website post ready. I would need to write it while I was not in need of one, which I can only do when I am not worried about unfinished beet matters. I am actually not worried about beets, but rather the things that I have not started doing because I have not been sufficiently worried about beets to complete their projects. However, I would BECOME worried about beets if I imagined I no longer cared about finishing them.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: April 24, 2017
Charmlatan sez:
Finally, I can see the pogo trio in the animation they were made for. Quite wonderful.
April 21, 2017
charmlatan sez:
A true mark of a comic is when it retcon events or characters. well done! These have been...
April 18, 2017
Purplespace sez:
The purple creature has a nice shade of purple!
April 18, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
I can tell you outright elpse and nemitz have the exact same body. That was a very early,...
April 18, 2017
Indighost sez:
I tend to think of nemitz and elpse as variant primates. Lope is more distinctly reptilian
April 18, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
Thank you for liking the page! I only had to know that I meant the figures to be cat-like! And...
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