Comic strips
About page
icon4 icon19 icon7 icon10 icon16 icon19 icon25

Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
October 19, 2016
authorities say tonight she was part of a group of murderous misfits

page 18 of part 3 of the bimshwellian comicoid. This sure took long enough to get to, and finally resolves a matter that has been up in the air for too long. And now I must go back to the past to rework old pages because it was my intent last year to have the second small book version complete within this year. I have within this year tended to a number of long postponed matters, and ordinarily would consider that justification for postponing a less postponed project, but I actually printed inside the first book that the next one was “Available 2016″ so that makes it closer to law. Even though I added *hopefully” afterward. Hopefully does not mean “no self-imposed psychological consequences for failure!”

October 15, 2016
this crunch is special: it makes breakfast merry

I am so tired and busy that I have only a faceboor post to link at to attempt to explain why that is, roundabout there. It pertains to an art show that I also pertained to last year, for it seemed pertinent to my attempts at being a slightly less illegitimate figure.

There are 63 individual print designs hanging up presently. And that does not include the cheap ones I am going to stick wherever they will fit or the few paintings I had the patience to bring in. I want to over-load people with this. There shall be no chance of somebody glancing in, dismissing it as simple frivolity and getting out of there. I shall force everyone to see how deep and varied my frivolity is.
Website, you know you are very important to me. The fact that you are the only stupid internet trinket I have not updated this week should not be seen as neglect. That means I know you can handle not being the center of attention. It means I TRUST you with RESPONSIBILITY. And I also trust you to not demand additional compensation for the increased expectations I have of you. That is life, website! And you are not truly alive anyhow! You are lucky I gave you anything! Now get in your room and practice! I want to hear those scales! Get in there NOW!

October 9, 2016
time spent defending his harem is time a leader cannot spend feeding himself

I am SHOCKED and OFFENDED by Donald Trump, suddenly. I was really hoping he was going to put this jerky, misogynistic behavior behind him, but then he had to go and be even worse last decade. I didn’t support him through 2015 by scrutinizing any single thing he ever did or said, after ehhh. If I can’t hold him to a higher standard off camera eleven years ago than I could in plain view last week, how can I ever trust him?

Also, I am withdrawing my support for Jeffrey Dahmer because I just read that he was into necrophilia.

Worse, it turns out that reporters for Hollywood gossip shows are soulless smirklords who will march in any direction they are turned and nudged in. Who would have thought that caring who Angelina Jolie is married to requires a distinct lack of discretion and earthly purpose? Who would have thought that a member of the Bush family will put on any suit of opinions necessary to appease the richest person in any location?

October 7, 2016
the only doppler radar on wheels, travelling TO the storm.

Middle School colon The Worst Years Of My Life might look like regressive uninspired trash but it is in fact based on the writer’s real life experience watching terrible movies about going to school.
In old bimshwel days I would look up who the actual writer was and try and make a point, but I am so detached and frazzled these days I cannot even be certain I am writing this now, which would not be good form when that writer took offense and tried to make me feel bad in my comment section.

Also, I posted this on faceboor last Sunday for some reason:

I saw the Saturday Night Live season premier for some reason I cannot wholly justify.
I think the program is in trouble when its only memorable characters, Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders, are just celebrity impressions and played by actors who aren’t in the cast or any other sketches.
Of course Saturday Night Live has been in trouble for about 75% of its existence, as 3000 nearly identical retrospective clip shows will remind you.
But does the present cast have any hope if all the attention, and presumably most of the money, goes to Alec flippindippin Baldwin?
Gosh is it fair to the actual credited host? Who even was that? I do not remember.
There was a sketch called “political family feud” that was just a mash of 9 different impressions with no time for a point.
And most of the camera time went to Kenan Thompson, who has been there for 13 years, and Darrel Hammond, who I guess just lives in the building now.
There was a Lin-Manuel McHamilton impression that was amusing just because they dared to mock that guy at all, but it didn’t really go anywhere and immediately afterward a notice stated that he is the host NEXT week, which means if that impression shows up again it will be in one of those character-meets-self sketches, which got old before I did, or far far worse, the impression meets real person and apologizes sketch, which should never have even happened once.
This is the kind of garbage MadTV was doing before it got cancelled. I distinctly remember a Buffy the Vampire sketch in which all these different characters had impressions done of them for one line but then just had to stand around dorkily while Buffy talked to Stuart or Ms Swan or whoever.
I realize I said television was “dead to me” a while back and it is. This means I do not watch shows on purpose and no long aspire to be on them or acknowledged by people who are through twitter. This makes an embarrassingly large difference.
I must also give credit to Bobby Moynihan, who joined the show right before I stopped deliberately watching it back in 200x or so, and 1) is also still there and 3) still hasn’t done anything I remembered afterward. The show in general is yet doing the exact same Kristen Wiig-style awkward chatter schtick it was back when I realized I wasn’t enjoying anything. Which would be fine for it if every ad on television and every movie in theaters (and likewise every ad in theaters) weren’t also doing it. And there is no sense to doing Jimmy Fallon-style no joke but the actors are laughing schtick either because he also has an equally non-innovative program on the same channel five nights a week.
Saturday Night Live’s only goal at this point is to stay on the air. It doesn’t have aspirations; it has a LEGACY, and more importantly no viable timeslot competition. It won’t die until somebody shoves a wooden stake through Lorne Michaels’ heart surrogate organ.

Oh deef what is this

Is it fair to joke about something that killed 300 people and destroyed 3000 homes? As long as it hasn’t killed anybody in the US yet, apparently.

Also apparently, it is better than my personal best. Far less depressing!

The hurricane edged me out by 0.13 points.

If you liked this, you obviously hate yourself, so here’s some stuff to help you realize you could be worse off.

September 30, 2016
Italy may have the best pasta in the world, but it’s also home to the world’s most active volcano

Ah ha and this here is the original vector source of the tou yube video. I did not bother to make a fancy “loading” graphic since the knowledge of how to make them only temporarily took residence in my mind twelve years ago but I assure you it has the capacity for movement after a wait that on most modern internet connections will not be as insufferable as it would have been twelve years ago. And otherwise you can “save as” it and suit yourself that way.

It is not nearly as strange as it ought to be for something that barely makes sense, but it is fun to look at, and not very long. Rewriting it to make sense was not an option since I do not know how to make sense without copious dialog, it seems. I personally think it makes more sense than the film Eraserhead and is over a heap of a lot faster, and people love that miserable thing, so mine is valid to a degree.

Also, while reassembling the sound outside the animation Flash software, since flash’s export functions are inadequate for anything practical and always require post-production, I saw to it that the volume level did not enter the red zone at any point. However, I did not check the volume relative to any other noise-making process inside my computer machine and consequently it seems rather loud. So please be aware of that.

“Snakes” since several years ago I wanted to make a demonstration animation in a hurry, and I figured finishing something that was fairly easy in 2012 would be yet easier than that in 2016, and would not delay other matters much, and therefore was eminently worth doing. Despite being completely wrong, I made similar equally wrong estimations on several other projects that I let distract me from THIS one between January and this present point, not all of which reached displayable levels of functionality. And now that I am here, with one more that IS, it does not feel as nice as I thought it would, but it is better than I felt yesterday.

It is fun to look at.

Not for ME, now that I am unable to make alterations, and thus more able than ever to detect errors that require correction, but theoretically other humans might find value in it. Goop night and good muck.

September 27, 2016
The Clumsys may not be coordinated, but they’re determined to have family bonding time in this Hidden Object voyage.

It is fine to experiment with ideas whose relatability or comprendability are uncertain, but do not commit to laborious coloring methods for them. I just got through saying not to tighten the humor out of the artwork, and then went and did something that is almost as bad.

September 22, 2016
Rufus Wainwright performed the song on his album Rufus Does Judy at Carnegie Hall (released in 2007). The song is also used in the title music for the Game Boy game Super Hunchback.

The Donut Trump Skittles story is a ruse to distract from the real insult that Skittles at some point replaced good old lime with an awful apple flavor.

And if you want the lime flavor, you need to buy a bag that ALSO has a lame apple flavor in it. And Death too, apparently. Combined with the orange that’s two duplicate flavors and one flavor that should be in the red bag in the green bag. Inexcusable! Some brands of gummy bears did the same thing, which I complained about years ago, possibly pre-bimshwel. Back then I had real problems. I would still be furious if I had not at some point decided that I like having teeth and stopped eating gummy bears. But that does not help with Skittles since I prefer to swallow them whole rather than bite them, and so having no teeth would actually aid in the process. You might argue that I could keep one tooth and still prevent myself from chewing. However, then I would come across as quite foolish.

And I say all this as somebody who eats apples but does not eat limes. I rely on cheap fictional representations to fill the void. You might as well replace the yellow lemon flavor with a french fry flavor. Although if you are in the candy business and want to use that idea I will gladly accept royalties, and then I will be able to afford something with actual limes in it.

September 16, 2016
That’s when it dawned on Barbara: they had been hit by the west-end patio umbrella bandit

Apparently we have to re-live the Jonbenet Ramsey story now. Last year we did the OJ Simpson story again. I suppose next year it will be Princess Diana and Monica Lewinsky again, then Macarena, whatever mass media tragedy is next in line to have a twentieth anniversary. Believe it or don’t, every one of them WILL at some point. And nobody the whole while will question why this is necessary or acknowledge that we just did this the year before. Can we get these stupid 1990s remakes out of our systems now? Toss in Y2K, Verne Troyer, Jar Jar Binx, whatever you have to do. You already had your chance to try and convince me I cared. I don’t want to be reliving Jay Leno monologue jokes for the next twenty years while simultaneously being expected to give a pumpkin about the latest sass-loaded personality-free multimillionaire who isn’t old enough to remember any of those things.

Additionally, yes, I know this television machine’s aspect ratio is horribly off. I was not in this house while its original control device still lived and don’t know what atrocities were inadvertently committed with it. My feeling is the less of its contents I can see, the better. A pity we can’t cut off 10%-100% of all the audio also.

The next thing I post here will be intended to be less depressing than this!

Especially if it comes at the expense of a fictional large-snouted-being’s depressing incidents.

September 9, 2016
from a secret satellite comes a gang that’s outta sight

You know what’s great about insurance ads? Instead of talking about their products they recycle old gags and they never get old even if they fixate on it for 30 seconds, 70 times a day for six months.

I tried drawing this person as a 40+ish year old man with a black 1980s-looking mustache but then I felt sympathy for him, which was not the point, but I couldn’t get a clear idea what stereotypical person I was angry at, so now I am not sure what it is. But I sure dwelt on this stupid thing for long enough. I need to have this away from me more then the execution needs to work. this is the sort of thing that would probably have been much funnier if I had drawn it as obnoxiously as possible in ten minutes.

Here is my base sketch to establish the concept. If I had drawn crude impressions of the idea of far side cartoons rather than directly sourcing specific ones and put blatant stupid labels on the books like “FAR SIDE LAST BOOK” instead of trying to use real covers that plenty of people familiar with The Far Side would not necessarily recognize. The cruder way it is plainly a joke, without being stated as such, and I can not be held deeply accountable for it. The eyes look less creepy because that is the natural, unnatural size I draw them at. I would not feel as ashamed putting this out somewhere and having it be ignored. The more accurate and specific something is, the harder it flops if some aspect of it is wrong. That is why John Callahan, a quadriplegic cartoonist who couldn’t draw worth a basket of tumbleweeds but was free from obsessive compulsive fears had a career and I probably won’t ever. I probably won’t die at the age of 59 from complications of a botched bedsore surgery either, but I have 26 years to dwell on what a rude thing to say that is/also become quadriplegic.

In fact that “FAR SIDE LAST BOOK” was one of the last things I changed; since I used a real cover on the other, less focal book, having the one in the center be generic looked lazy. I worked harder to make my joke less funny because I apparently would rather not look lazy than be funny, even though trying to be funny is the whole point of doing it to begin with, and it was only just barely funny. And I KNEW that but I couldn’t stop myself.

As the tentatively final version is, somebody could point out “ah HA, geico put out an ad specifically referring to a problem invented by contemporary phones, which cannot possibly have come from The Far Side.” or “ehm excuse me that is NOT the real far side panel that was used for December on the 1996 wall calendar.” I showed this to my older brother, who I only see twice a year, and whose approval I am desperate for, because he was my first idol and my last idol that still talks to me (Zartan come back, I forgive you, I forgive everyone), but who won’t look at anything I do unless I specifically show it to him, and he asked “DO they do that?” As in: DO the geico people steal old Far Side gags? Like he thought I was making a sincere political statement with this. And I had to say some waffly nonsense like no, but sort of I suppose they could maybe, like with the parrots and Tarzan and Marco Polo in the pool, you know? I felt like a profound moron. I spent hours drawing that thing, and I might as well have just have looked at Where’s Waldo books while eating chex mix and cupcakes all day. Just give up.

Nobody cares that gary larson’s dinosaurs all look generic and unscientific because he doesn’t draw elaborate shading and scales and muscles on them like i would try to.
This is how autism affects me. I cannot take hints, and nobody takes mine, so I need to be as specific as possible. But I do not have the manual dexterity to be specific beyond a certain point so everything i do turns into uncanny valley mush. And by dwelling on this so hard I am doing the same thing I accuse geico of doing (outside of airing the things repeatedly forever)

Someday I will write a great book about how not to screw up. I will spend years on it, and all the advice in it will be the opposite of whatever you should do.

Here is another example. My plan was to post this on all the usual totally redundant websites with a heading in the vein of: “the REAL reason he quit the show.” Being as vague as possible, and likely not quite communicating my point, because I always over- or under-do all things. Goopness grapejuice I’ve even digressed and overdone my story about how I overdo things.

I didn’t finish this. I noticed that once I added the font it wasn’t funny to me anymore, even though the font is approximately what it ought to be. Because once the lettering is solid, the drawing looks unsolid, but the whole is solid enough that I start to wonder: why is a Broadway show using a movie poster? Is this a movie sequel TO a Broadway show? Why would that be the case? Who specifically does/should this second person look like? Is it funnier if he is billed first? Do I need to add a background now? What sort of background would it have, and would it match the anachronistically dressed person or the historically dressed person (with anachronistic hair that we don’t talk about)?

HOWEVER, this was ultimately a positive step, since drawing this turned the Hamilton guy into a joke to me, so now when I, inevitably, see him, I think it is funny rather than annoying. I can coexist with him.

I no longer need to seek refuge in the bizarre alternate universe this New York Post headline is from in which Stephen Colbert doesn’t mention Hamilton at every opportunity. Broadcast television is still dead to me, however.
Also, I went to look up lyrics for a different show on some stupid broadway site that I didn’t realize was covered with graphics detailing all the awards hamilton (and flippin dippin RENT) had won, but when I saw they used this exact same dorky publicity shot it just made me laugh.

But then I got annoyed again when I realized Hamilton Guy also had the same approximate run of credits in “In the Heights” which I had not prior to then considered or cared if it had won anything.

Also that site is trash since it didn’t have lyrics, but the link that I THOUGHT would lead to them just went to a page to BUY tracks on i-tunes, which presumes both that I will suddenly spend money without having planned in advance to do so and that I would willingly introduce parasitic organisms into my operating system other than the 24 gigabyte folder of every pathetic redundant cash-in gameboy advance rom ever released.

And THAT was already on the hard drive when I got it! I swear. Somebody else specially installed, on my request, a 1 terrorbyte drive in the computer I bought from him, in place of the 320gigabyte drive it otherwise would have had, and perhaps he was trying to show me that I didn’t need half as much space as I thought I did by half-filling it with nonsense that I still haven’t totally sorted through (I am kidding, it was only one tenth. Come back Pez, I forgive you).

Going back to the anachronistic facial hair, I can understand if the first guy just looks like that anyway, but why does the second one, taking over the role, ALSO need to have that “I forgot to use a napkin after I ate a chocolate doughnut” beard? Alexander Hamilton didn’t look like that! He also didn’t rap or refuse to be photographed in poses that don’t make his pants look as tight as possible either, so I should excuse other fantasy aspects, but I never considered that the appearance was deliberate, like when there is an anime about Julius Caesar or something and all the men look like Sephiroth and all the women look like Sailor Moon. Also all my Japanese cultural references stop at 1997, you know that. Sometimes I wish my American ones did, too!

September 2, 2016
His catch phrase in the ads was “Snap into a Slim Jim, oooooh yeah!”, which later became an internet meme, popularized by many gamers on YouTube

page 17, part 3 of that. I like the newer page-display system better now than I did when I first made and didn’t use it, and am more comfortable linking to pages on it now, but am not yet certain what I should replace the “that” page with.
This is another “experiment” in layouts that anyone else would have assumed was already long since proven. It still feels like cheating, to me. Even though it was just as much effort to complete as usual, and there was not a way of shoving in the next four frames that was pleasing to me, pacing-wise.

Obviously! Turn that thing off!

I tried to use more “light” darkness, but it just looked like the creatures were watching television, and I had just established that elpse was opposed to watching my implied “not earth” television stand-in. If I merge the darkest colors into one it does indeed look like a darkened room, right down to facial features not being at all visible in it, and those are crucial for facial expressions to be evident.

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: October 19, 2016
Frimpinheap sez:
This poor lonely robot desperately needs some friends but it has been programmed to link to...
October 19, 2016
k√ľndigung kreditkarte postbank mastercard sez:
ATTENTION!!!!!!!I INVITE TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!can postcomment my...
October 18, 2016
Frimpinheap sez:
Thank you! I hope to do more, while increasing the relatability factor and reducing the...
October 18, 2016
charmlatan sez:
After your Dope Carrier animation, I’m glad to see your latest cartoon fully realized....
October 16, 2016
Frimpinheap sez:
charmo: Thank you for the hope! I have not added up the figures but it seems to have been my...
October 16, 2016
Indighost sez:
God damn it man can’t you do something in NYC? New haven is like a 2.5 hr train ride away...
Less recent posts
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • December 2004

  • May 2007
    April 2007
    March 2007
    February 2007
    January 2007
    December 2006
    November 2006
    October 2006
    September 2006
    August 2006
    July 2006
    June 2006
    May 2006
    April 2006
    March 2006
    February 2006
    January 2006
    December 2005
    November 2005
    October 2005
    September 2005
    August 2005
    July 2005
    June 2005
    Maypril 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005
    January 2005
    Novcember 2004
    October 2004
    September 2004
    August 2004
    July 2004
    Maune 2004
    April 2004
    Febrarch 2004
    January 2004
    December 2003
    Octvember 2003
    Augtember 2003
    Junly 2003
    Maypril 2003
    Febrarch 2003
    Octnovdecjan 20023
    Junulgustember 2002
    Maypril 2002
    This never happened

    old webpages
    Mall Meh...ness
    I do not approve.
    irrational complaining about my television set
    Dennises are dead to me
    This page is not about shoes.
    I hate shoes.
    something award related
    Those Green Eyes again
    More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
    Biggest Loser
    Mall Blandness
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    Mall Egadness
    Las Vegas
    Spiderman 2
    Jope and Dopes
    These Green Eyes
    Game Over
    Mall orneryness
    Movies I'm not going to see
    Back fashion school to
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    Official pizza of Nascar
    Michael Jackson
    Free Speech
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    The first First Beet segment
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    Poetry Page
    The same