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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
April 6, 2020
The American bus, the American car is a bus and a car for all Americans,


page 3-47 of the bimshwellian comic strip. a huge hard to draw waste of space but possibly the last page that will take place in this parking lot! Now instead of a difficult to draw background I have an impossible to draw object that is simultaneously foreground AND background.



April 1, 2020
I highly suggest wearing a filter mask; to protect the nose against satanists using demon transmission and physically veil shifting stagnant air into the room from hell, giving the perception of being able to “send people” “smells.”


I fear this mask business may be getting a bit out of hand


the original “plan” for this included additional mask-types but at that stage it looked to me more like a bad local mural or the cover to an issue of Cracked magazine than something that was supposed to be taken less-than-seriously. i laughed while making it but sometimes that is an instinct-like reaction to things that i am really worried about not being funny, like some previous images related to halloween, bad geico advertisements (all of them are bad) and my experience at the louvre museum.
The worst thing about the version I decided on is that after I added the dope on the shelf on the left I didn’t want to crop it out even though the composition works much better with that mostly empty space removed and EVERY composition works much better with dopes removed. Theoretically the older version is superior on account of lacking dopes, apart from the cart advertisement seeking to raise awareness of them, but ultimately it is ugly and trying too hard. The final version tries a more appropriate amount.



March 24, 2020
Production was halted at the end of the first semester after the producers felt that existing footage was not dramatic enough, and after Danza refused to allow the producers to try to generate drama among his students.


treco de gallo conducts an independent inquiry into the authenticity of claims made in mortimewde stapleton meepmire’s latest product endorsement



March 17, 2020
He’s out to clean up a city that likes being dirty. He can’t do it alone



They all thought I was mad for believing this would one day be the most valuable item in my house



March 13, 2020
Food shortages in Europe following World War I caused great hardships, including cases of mangel-wurzel disease, as relief workers called it. It was a consequence of eating only beets.[5]

3-15-2020 grupdate: I heard from General Thorax that paper towels are back in stock but latrine parchment isn’t or has already been bought up again, and chicken is also now a commodity item! oh oh oh those glory days of last tuesday are long gone. And dish soap down to the last bottle as well, even though one bottle of that lasts what, a month or so? How much of this are people really expecting to use?
/////////////////
there is probably a pretty good chance of me getting the covid19 disease but I still think I am more likely to die in a car, turning left at a 4-way intersection or trying to merge onto a highway and I do those things all the time without any more toilet paper than I usually have

hold on what is this? i am receiving an urgent transmission on the emergency line



as soon as I received the master’s request i headed out seven hours later. In between those two points an empty cardboard box jumped off the shelf behind my bed and bopped me on the head. i presume it was planning that anyway. in the tiny united state of connecticut where as of the day after I posted this there have only been twelve confirmed cases, none of them in towns near here, I figured the matter was not urgent.


guilford walmart

guilford big-y-world-class-market(s)

madison stop & shop/keep going and don’t shop


people love to be prepared, except not really because I saw one person apiece at stopshop and big-y wearing gloves and nobody wearing gloves, including the staff, at walmart. note also: walmart sells darm cheap but effective gloves.

for example, the right glove here is from walmart. it does not match the left glove. i have a startling array of left-hand gloves but only a few for the right, all actually ambidextrous gloves, because legitimate right gloves like to blow away in the wind when I remove them to blow my nose. also this picture isn’t a trick, both hands are in front of me and i took a screenshot with my voice-activated forehead camera. the command is “help there is a camera embedded in my forehead it hurts”

nobody wears gloves but walmart does however have this thing that encourages customers to REMOVE their shoes and stand in the same spot. i haven’t heard of diseases being transmitted via feet but i haven’t heard of diseases not being transmitted because you bought a truck load of bog roll either.

also i have spent four weeks in england my entire life and have no right to use the terminology “bog roll” but I am at a loss for functional synonyms.


This was at Wal-Mart. Not quite a glove but I appreciate that you are trying, though the experience seems to be traumatic for most of the figures involved.


the toilet paper problem is so bad this pez candy has no choice but to be covered in feces and we are helpless to do anything about it. seriously why can’t we stop putting this horrid imagery on to things?


this car boldly shows its support of the world health organization. however i would prefer you keep those jars to yourself

I don’t mind the stores being crowded like this necessarily, there is an exciting atmosphere. It is like Christmas except people only want practical things for gifts, a concept I can endorse


additionally, i got a free fountain soda with my 12-inch sandwich at big-y. yes i took coke, mid-day; i wasn’t going to take their awful megaprocessed minute maid lemonade. i have to think about my health.
In fact I was not initially intended to drive across town from the walmart big y plaza to get to stop & shop but i felt so invigorated by recieving a free drink that I found the strength to grasp a wheel and press a large button with a foot for a few additional minutes.

no precaution is too extreme for this leprechaun, who appears to be wearing a diaper over his trousers, assuming he is wearing trousers

meanwhile this leprechaun has taken to hoarding gold.
am i supposed to be impressed by that offer? $50 is rather a small amount of gold. i think it is a ruse so he can break into our homes and steal our precious toilet paper while we go to collect his gold that we won’t actually be able to buy any with.

after stop and shop i noticed the automobile had nearly expended its gasoline, and i had 200 fuel reward points from stop and shop purchasers, which I could redeem for 20 cents off per gallon of petroleum at participating retailers. i considered that fuel prices might be dropping world-wide and that i might save more than that if i just waited a week but if we can run out of toilet paper in three days without needing it we can run out of gasoline in a week actually using it


i can never remember which way to turn this thing, though. hm ah hatten how does it go: righty-tighty, lefty loosey, loosey goosey,


henny penny!

i was not wearing gloves at this time because i had been eating my sandwich, have difficulty handling my money items with gloves on and also i feel safer from disease in a gritty rainy gas station parking lot than inside a walmart


Stop & Shop’s Pal™, Marty the amazing aisle-blocking dead-staring robot, seems to be sitting this one out. I think all the panicking is giving it anxiety.

or perhaps the staff are concerned about saving shoppers anxiety.


i ran out of bags on this occasion since I felt i needed to buy something to justify being in each store. This large package of paper towels is, in truth, from a month ago because i had to buy three of them to get the full discount and we are still on the second package in my house (the seltzer is drunken by other people than me. they almost never finish the cans and i frequently have to dump the things out before tossing them into the recycle bin but this is immensely preferable to and less expensive than when the same people drank diet caffeine-free pepsi in the same manner. the tables have been in there since my art show in november).


likewise, this cabinet full of soup was happening anyway. once a year they sell the progresso soup for 50% off for a week so i bought a bunch. the last time it happened i didn’t buy enough and had to buy FULL PRICE SOUP at one point. so this time i bought more than the previous time, and then the sale happened again the next month and so i bought more.
I don’t think there is anything WRONG with hoarding this sort of thing, but it is better to do gradually over time when rates suit it. the 14 piece chicken 7 biscuits and 2 large sides mobile coupon that i have been using at popeyes the past year however i have recognized as an objectively bad idea because i need to eat it all within about three days.

there only appear to be seven paper towel rolls because i tore one of them open during my previous shopping trip on tuesday when, first of all, there was PLENTY of toilet paper in stock and I had seen no urgency to the purchase of it, and i partook of stop & shop’s store made fried chicken, which is surprisingly good (and cheap) provided you buy it in late afternoon when they apparently make it. Unable to restrain myself I was eating it while returning, driving the car, on the street nearest my home, when I saw a woman jogging the same direction, who stopped to fiddle with a mobile device. as the car passed I was holding the biggest piece of chicken and there was probably evidence roundabout my mouth area. The jogger looked straight at me with a look that I was not sure was confusion, worry, or possibly disgust. I didn’t get chicken today because i already bought the sandwich and if i had not bought the sandwich i would not have bothered to go all the way to stop and shop which is in the opposite direction that Big-Y is from my home. Everything clear? I hope so because there is nothing left to wipe it with.

The disparity between Tuesday and today is striking; it means somebody actually had to buy


this strangely designed product that simulates the presumably cathartic experience of ripping up a lumberjack’s flannel shirt. I hope he has a patchwork shirt like the Poky Little Puppy’s blanket after the next re-stocking.

this really is not up for debate

I am going home



March 8, 2020
a dragon’s sole purpose… is to destroy mermaids



regrettably i have not been able to give this the attention it needs — i don’t like those static poses during the zoom in– because i want to conclude the terrible “free sketches-turned-needlessly-elaborate-digital-paintings I have been doing through twitter and shouldn’t need more than another two weeks for that, but this at least expresses the general idea of what this “scene” is. i will have to add more clutter and possibly draw it from different angles. i probably spend more time drawing backgrounds than animating at this point.

the recording is not good but circumstances are not always convenient for messing with noises! It at least is adequate for matching visuals to it since I presume (which usually means i am wrong) that re-recordings will have sufficiently similar pacing that the mouths won’t match any worse than they presently do.

Now that i see how pathetic that imp looks getting slapped around i want to give it a higher pitched voice. yesterday i inadvertently found a late 2016 digital interpretation i made of its vague paper sketches that i presumed existed but was not able to locate when I finally, actually got around to starting this in 2019, whose design differs from this one, so I ought to sort of which is the real one before going further. but will I? if it is a good idea, probably not.



February 29, 2020
Jeff, in interviews, implies that this is to be an Electric Light Orchestra recording as the “group” is now a one-man band and he is the band.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh busy busy busy busy. there is an animation layout that I meant to exhibit here at this point, which theoretically should have been fairly quick to do on friday evening, but i can’t decide what a figure should be doing during a certain line and so the task has become prolonged. all tasks become prolonged but i cannot always anticipate the reason.

///////////////////////////////////////




i can’t stand the shameless product placement on CW’s Black Lightning

At night I watch television with my mother. That is just my life now. It is less depressing than being alone or being beside someone watching bad phone videos for 2-4 hours every night. In a sense it is not much different to how things formerly were with my father (my mother would usually be alone during that), but we are not limited to whatever is on at the moment on bad basic cable and try to ensure we only watch something that both of us want to see. By this point we have largely run out of shows to which that statement applies so something only need be tolerable now. and so

Black Lightning is true to its DC comic book roots, in that every few episodes it seems like a different writer takes over and disavows whatever the previous writer was just doing, but the next writer may bring it back up again, possibly with something about it different that I am not supposed to notice and probably wouldn’t if I was actually watching these at the weekly intervals they were originally broadcast. It also has that annoying habit that media from the past 10 years does of assuming any moronic post on a “social media” platform is automatically “viral” and known to everybody, including one boasting of the physical prowess of the second hero character, Black Lightning’s daughter Thunder, despite her not actually having appeared in public or taken on the name yet, which can’t even be blamed on writer swapping because that happens later in the same episode and prior to then Black Lightning had forbidden Thunder to do that.
In addition to being Thunder, she also is a full time medical student, a volunteer doctor, beats up drug dealers under an additional alias “Blackbird” and then has time to go to parties and be condescending toward her younger sister, who we took to calling Lil Stormy both because of how stupid it sounded, matching her inexplicably bratty behaviour, and also because she didn’t come up with an alternate name for herself until the final episode of season 2, which was the redundant and confusing “Lightning.”


Unless we include Thunder’s few appearances in a blue and red outfit assembled at a local shopping mall in full view of customers or at least a very nosy mannequin, directly assisted by a stereotypically gay store employee who is never seen again despite being given the name Ben in the captions and getting a hug from Thunder as if they are the closest friends, which would mean Thunder’s identity isn’t a secret and she can easily be arrested and prosecuted for destroying a statue of Confederate General, which appeared on The News as soon as it happened. The News seems to be the only television program available in Freeland, so perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised that the bar for viral videos is so low.
An excursion to the mysterious far off nation of South Freeland where segregation still exists and all the white people have super speed granted by their brain-washing, intuitively-named leader “Looker” in season 2 seems to be the most extreme example of a rapidly introduced and dropped storyline. I assumed it was just there to cover up the going nowhereness of an earlier storyline about “pod children” but the pod children situation is resumed as soon as the Looker situation is concluded.

I don’t much mind that the white characters are mostly 1-dimensional and cartoonishly unkind, rigid and dopey (though my mother does) because the one “good” white guy Gambi is so frustratingly perfect and good at everything that the bad ones can seem like a relief and I find them amusing. Gambi gets uptight when Black Lightning talks about killing the villain, Tobias, because that’s not what heroes do! Gambi himself murders nameless cronies by the hearse-load every other episode but conveniently avoids shooting anyone that is actually in charge of anything. He also uses conventional firearms despite designing and crafting weapons and other devices that defy the laws of physics casually in his spare time.


Tobias is my favorite on account of being the only major recurring character on the show who doesn’t get offended if somebody makes a judgemental remark, which about 80% of the remarks are since that’s what network television thinks social conscience is. Tobias does beat people up and shoot them, but I can’t confirm he has directly killed more people than Gambi has, and they are usually people in his own employment, which greatly limits the expansion of his enterprises. Tobias ALSO makes frequent judgemental remarks but, again, is the only character that doesn’t look like he about to cry when he does so, because he is the only character that realizes he doesn’t actually exist and so is free to be unrealistic in more enjoyable-to-watch ways.

Regarding Black Lightning himself, his secret identity Jefferson Pierce should be REALLY obvious. He has the same agenda and talks to the same people in and out of costume, often the same night, and the costume itself is not that effective. He wears goggles but no helmet and is the only major character with a beard apart from Tobias who is frequently stated to be albino and thus inadequately “black.” The costume also glows in the dark and has an incredibly slow and loud self-propulsion flight system and it is confounding that nobody who wants to kill Black Lightning is able to follow him or track him down.
I suppose he IS unique among DC heroes, not for being black so much as actually wanting to make a difference when not in costume. He is willing to let Jefferson get fired from his job so Black Lightning can actually protect people whereas I can’t imagine Clark Kent ever letting himself get fired without quickly conceiving a ludicrous counter scheme to get himself rehired so he can continue publishing stories about how great superman is.

Still I think it is a good hero and villain show. It is an atrocious social/family drama which takes itself so seriously that the suspension of disbelief necessary for the ridiculous supernatural hero action to gets shattered constantly, With 3 super powered characters in the same family, 4 if you include the mother, Lynn,’s super sanctimony, that do whatever they want but also get furious and broody each time another one does it, and then each individually whines at Gambi afterward, it can seem like a never ending Saturday morning cartoon public safety announcement segment. Full of pouting, preaching, bad morality, offense-taking and “storm”ing off (oh ho ho), but so was Seventh Heaven, which ALSO aired on the CW channel and for ELEVEN years and people PRAISED it for being “positive” so I am willing to believe it is a network mandate that all shows with a family have to be as annoying, anti-entertaining and fake as that one.


Or maybe I just would rather believe families like that are fake. And despite repeated allusions to “real world” violence and injustice against black people, the heroes and Gambi regularly, consistently break the law and utilize what is essentially magic to get their way (usually to cover up the criminal deviance of Lil Stormy) and are ludicrously wealthy. I suppose anyone in the DC universe who isn’t heir to a throne or billionaire fortune is considered proletariat.



February 21, 2020
The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals stepped in, questioning the idea of hanging an elephant as well as making a public spectacle out of the death of an animal. Thompson and Dundy cut the event back to invited guest and press only and agreed to use a surer method of strangling the elephant with large ropes tied to a steam powered winch. They also agreed they would use poison and electricity as well.


page 46 of that. a bit cramped, hopefully not to the degree that it is confusing, since it may be confusing anyway!

urk 100% of the words out of nemitz’s mouth are trash. in fact if mit literally said “trash trash trash trast” it would communicate more information than mit typically does.

i keep forgetting that having the elpse lope and nemitz in the frame together messes with my usual way of plotting out pages, and with the giant stupid sack there also it will only be intensified.
i fear that I shamefully copy-pasted the scraps of the automobile. but i fear that the car has not been shown full frame recently enough that this clearly IS the car. it is such a distinctively poorly-designed car that surely anybody who had been keeping up with the “story” up to this point would know when a car is mentioned and a piece of that one is shown that it is being referred to. i hope.
i also hope that giving this quality to nemitz is not a mistake. it seems very mundane. it in fact was not planned. it seemed like a way to follow up elpse refusing to move the bag and also allude to something from earlier that i never gave an explanation for, the curious three blue electricity-looking shocks that nemitz experienced during the hospital section. instituting a major character revelation primarily to resolve a circumstance that only occurred in an attempt to be funny feels unwise, but resolving something old that I didn’t know what else to do with is better than simply forgetting. i see plenty of fictional media where a problem like this — such as a large object that no one can move — is resolved offscreen without an explanation. if i just cut to the imps in the car with the bag you could assume they found some way to get it in that might have taken a while but was not incredibly important. i may have to limit nemitz’s sphere-activation-shock-strength ability in an odd way or make the energy work differently depending on circumstances. super strength is just too common, especially if i indicate that elpse also already has it on account of the kumquat injection and is just too deep in self-pity to use it.



February 14, 2020
However, a federal court dismissed the suit on the grounds that the GoodTimes packaging (with an enormous, mustached, genie with gold or orange coloring) was sufficiently distinct from the Disney images (with an enormous, non-mustached, blue genie).[1]


oh cow! a free trial ON THEM! DISNEY is PAYING the FEE for you! except it isn’t, it has billions of dollars and could still turn a massive profit if it offered this streaming service for free. and every other service that charges gives you a MONTH free trial. it is the mark of a true price gouging monster giving you less than half as much and still presenting it like a favor. maybe the logic in the board room was that a consumer could theoretically watch all the original content in a month and dump the service without paying anything. right as you could with netflix or hulu, which are known to have loads of new shows but few good ones;

even Nick Nolte’s mugshot has its own show on Netflix, for example, and they still stay in business, very good business. this, like EVERY other thing the disney company has done in my life time and before, is inherently hostile to buyers and uses its inescapable socialized influence on children as leverage to force parents, and you can see below that the box text addresses “parents” directly, into paying through the nose and any other accessible orifice. disney has a CENTURY’s worth of its own content plus the loads it has acquired in the past few years that now can’t be gotten anywhere else, plus multiple generations of wealthy imbeciles who shill its properties at every opportunity without any compensation, and still wants to use this “look at how we’re losing on the deal” marketing. Look I am so angry I don’t even care that somebody of approximately equal mental function to myself brought froot loops into the house.

the back of a cereal box has never been the place for literary excellence but as a child I reckon I could think of few things less interesting than a big AD directed at my parents. I am no toucan sam apologist but the bird has some interesting colors.
The box doesn’t actually say what the monthly charge IS, another sign of a shifty, shifty business, so I had to look it up on my own, which means now every robot tracking me knows I willingly looked up information on disney plus and will gladly interpret that as me approving of it and a sign that it needs to shove more disney plus ads at me since plainly I am not getting enough unsolicited information about it.
The cost per month turns out to be is $6.99, which doens’t seem too bad, but Hulu’s lowest rate is $5.99. Although with tax that now comes to 6.37. Hulu of course has advertisements, but the point is mootly since disney doesn’t NEED ads since it OWNS everything it broadcasts, and furthermore ALSO owns hulu. This IS an improvement from ye olde disney channelle which DID have repetitive shrill ads for disney products and nothing else, even during programming designed to not have commercial breaks, but i suppose they figure with a slightly less captive audience who pay specifically for the access they can’t get away with that as easily.

Immediately beneath Marvel Logo, the Series, is something called “togo.” am i really to believe disney has made a feature about Duke Togo, Golgo 13? Or is it a documentary about Togo, the African country where nemitz rigged elections? I don’t know and I aim not to know.
but ONCE AGAIN i looked it up anyway!
apparently Togo is about a real sled dog named Togo, and its primary reason for existing, as best I can tell, is to finally stick it to Balto, the also real dog who did slightly less than Togo in the same historical event but got more credit and inspired the Balto film series which while worthy of derision is notable for being a rare, presumably lucrative talking dog franchise that Disney does NOT own or get any money from, which they just aren’t having, here OR Togo.



February 7, 2020
In the film, the Harlem Globetrotters, a traveling troupe of merry basketball players, are on a plane ride over the Pacific Ocean when it has engine trouble and they are forced into an emergency landing onto Gilligan’s Island.


i am not convinced that kid on the right is one of “The Original Harlem Globetrotters.” Something about him tell me he never won a basketball game by cheating or solved a mystery with scooby doo.
listen, this is a team which names bill cosby , henry kissinger the pope and the third-to-latest pope as official members.

this kid is no pope. consequently i conclude that he is no trotter of globes. I bet he doesn’t even trot mercator projections. In fact neither of the people pictures look old enough to be a pope or a cosby so presumably both have only joined the team recently.


speaking of kids that aren’t popes, These kids all have the same face, are not behaving in a safe manner, and the two in the middle aren’t even in seats. I presume these are actually demons in the shape of children who have been tricked and led inside what they believed was a bus by a wizard who sealed them there and now they smile and tell lies to try and convince you to let them out. Their transformation is incomplete as evidenced by their malformed limbs not yet being proportional to their heads. Do not be fooled! Do not buy their sun butter! For one thing, flavor cannot be delicious. FOOD that HAS good flavor IS delicious. Typical dumb ignorant unholy non-pope imps.


speaking of children that aren’t wizards, I don’t want these little kids trying to move my furniture and apart from that it concerns me that a sign board has sired or given birth to human children. This is even weirder than that narnia book about a horse that has “his boy.” from the perspective of somebody who is probably never going to read any narnia books beyond the experience alluded to in that link



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
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them`s fightin` woids: April 8, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
I am still here but I get email notices any time somebody posts a comment! i suppose it is funny...
April 8, 2020
kefka12 sez:
Reading through our old convos was a trip down memory lane! Can’t believe it’s been 12...
April 7, 2020
Charmlatan sez:
Thankful for the update. Maybe a change in scenery might cheer elpse up!
April 1, 2020
Dhraiden sez:
Keep Far (from these) Beets? Keep Full Beets? Kindly Filch (these) Beets? Kraptastically fine beets?
March 29, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
I most certainly will not say that!
March 29, 2020
Honker Acorn Jr. sez:
You might say Treco is giving the bow tie fool… …a beet down.
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    07/20/04
    Jope and Dopes
    06/27/04
    These Green Eyes
    04/24/04
    Friday
    04/01/04
    Wedding
    03/07/04
    Game Over
    03/02/04
    McDenny's
    01/09/04
    Mall orneryness
    01/06/04
    Movies I'm not going to see
    11/14/03
    Back fashion school to
    09/14/03
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    06/14/03
    JList
    06/03/03
    France
    03/31/03
    Official pizza of Nascar
    03/16/03
    Browsers
    02/23/03
    Michael Jackson
    2/16/03
    Free Speech
    02/05/03
    Thursday
    01/23/03
    Doofs
    01-whenever-03
    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same