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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
January 20, 2021
Promotions for the April 5, 2008 Christopher Walken/Panic! At the Disco episode of Saturday Night Live referenced the “More Cowbell” sketch. The cowbell did not appear during the actual episode.

recently in the frozen food section at my local El Shoppo supermarket i was overcome with an unnatural feeling. something wasn’t quite right but was quite corny


no not that

there is NO WAY goya fit THAT much disco into these tiny little bags. i am not by any system of measures a music theory expert but i have spent a night on disco mountain and I recognize when someone is jive talking and telling me lies.
Is the pan demic causing a disco shortage? We have been down to one beegee for a few years now, it is little surprise that the strategic disco reserve is at an all time low. Maybe Goya is concerned about causing an outbreak of disco fever but that is no excuse for surreptitiously downsizing the disco. Goya has come under criticism for its close relationship with the Trump administration, and I would hate to think they knew what was going on all along and were colluding to drive up the price of disco. It is bad enough I can only afford a fifth of Beethoven.
According to one disco expert, quote: “I couldn’t get enough, so I had to self destruct.” He seemed optimistic that satisfaction would come with a chain reaction but those are the words of a desperate man and I don’t think anybody should have to resort to such measures. He further purported to have “heard somebody say ‘burn baby burn'” but would not discolose the identity of his source. The blood will be on Goya’s hands if disco enthusiasts across the land begin exploding due to disco deficiency. It’s tragedy when you lose control and you got no soul.


ah this box size looks a bit more accurate but what? 40 discos?! impossible! even if it were possible that would be TOO MUCH disco! You would be crazy like a fool to try and take that much. I contend that at proper size 10 is a whole lotta disco and probably at about the periphery of safe discosages. It is hard enough staying alive as things are. I would like to report that there is no need to feel down; that’s the way I like it, but Goya seems inclined to turn it upside down. Believe me, I don’t like having to report on this and you shouldn’t have to worry about it. You should be dancing, yeah. Also We Are Family is bloody awful.



January 13, 2021
it’s hard to answer your question of why we were naked


I scream you scream we all scream for nemitz’s immediate and unconditional termination
I can tell nemitz is VERY proud to have served that. Of COURSE nemitz owns a GOLD scoop. which is to say, nemitz STOLE a gold scoop. or stole a regular scoop and painted it gold. Or most likely stole a scoop and gold paint and annoyed somebody else into painting the scoop gold. What a thoroughly stupid and complex sequence of occurrences.

However, why would anybody go to a store where that thing is behind the counter, much less initiate a transaction? and then why would you stand there and watch while nemitz delivers this ludicrous order, and THEN have a problem? Those customers should be fired also.

I had “chris” under toppings section early on in production because the father of my niece is named Chris with the actual last name of Topping but it seemed improbable he would see this, and most of the people who will see it likely do not know who he is. Of course chris is still a strange thing to have on your dessert so please do not go and do that just because nemitz isn’t offering to do it for you. There are more stupid possibilities than nemitz can possibly get to, which is one of mits few redeemingish qualities.



January 9, 2021
indeed! with those prisoner’s clothes, we couldn’t use our best attacks!


What rinkety dinkety fisher price gallows, that frame should be made of bright purple plastic. The intent is certainly here but for lack of a better word the execution is not. I understand being afraid of the goons who set this up but they are buffoons and will never win. Seeing this thing makes me want to start guessing letters, not submit to trumpdumb. I am more afraid of my obsessive compulsion from the center beam being just SLIGHTLY too short to cover the tops of the two support beams than from what any of the people who assembled them that way are going to do to me. Although to be fair i am white and did have a christmas tree in my house.

There are people on the internet’s favorite websites and in commercial news reporting who want everyone to be afraid and paranoid all the time. When people are afraid they make terrible decisions and lose their ability to look after themselves. I encourage you to be aware and cautious but not afraid. especially not of


this guy, “the Q Shaman,” and his sickly dwarf ward sidekick. Q not for “questionable life choices,” but “q anon,” a gang of angry mostly/entirely white men who bond over their white manliness and a belief that the us government is run by pedophiles. i am supposed to believe this dork who wears fur and no shirt in public and openly chums it up with nazis and confederates is deeply concerned about pedophilia. When I found out his name was Q Shaman I thought he should have purple fur and a bell on his head and be marching on Sesame Street. I assume he went to Washington DC instead because Mantaur was busy.

It is a bit like those fake political parties in England, but those are just rich idiots wasting their own money on being ridiculous and being fully aware of how ridiculous they are.

They believe in the words of someone called “Q,” someone who is anonymous and therefore could actually be anybody at any time and never has to be accountable.


Either this guy is doing it all as a gag and it is all meaningless and nobody should take him seriously or he is completely serious and insane and nobody should take him seriously. He was only arrested today after I started writing this, for his part in breaching the capitol, three days after doing it, and two days after calling the Federal Bureau of Investigation himself and then openly disclosing in this interview that he had done so, like he is proud of that. The question is not why did it take three days to get him, but why he wasn’t in jail before that. I don’t know if he constituted a legitimate threat to members of the government but he is an insult to all intelligence.

It reminds me of some forum I was on in 2008 called “coti” where I could never tell if anyone was kidding or cruel, and they could always retroactively claim cruelty was kidding. I was banned from that forum for saying brief silly things that were only tangentially relevant. And THIS guy whose every single post was 80% the same enormous “joke” images that were absolutely never relevant was very much pushing for it while promising payment of improbable fellatio in return and treated like the more rational party. I like pretending he went on to become a decent person.

I also to this day subconsciously imagine he literally IS this guy, who now officially wouldn’t look out of place wandering around the US capitol, even though ostensibly he was making fun of the fact that this guy exists. But you can’t tell and no one will tell you and if you ask they’ll call you a faggot and get you banned and the friends you followed there will let them, retweet their gross webcomics at you later, possibly marry and start patreon-begging youtube series with them.


oh to donovan’s reef with THIS guy. I wasn’t even TALKING about him.

Let’s be fake positive fluff-suited balrogs and get paid for it


Really what was I EXPECTING? I know better now. I may not have done anything with that knowledge, and the imbecile dressed like Legends of the Hidden Temple got scorned and arrested without my input, but I know precisely why he and people like him irritate me so much. It goes so far beyond and below Trump. People of that sort are essentially nihilists. They believe in nothing, and don’t care if someone gets hurt. They crusade against evil they have no proof of while taking willful creators of evil as their jolly companions.

It is sadly old news by now that every closed institution is rife with sexual predators. The us government has been particularly bad at concealing lewd misdeeds. I don’t believe that anybody who supports Donald “Grab ‘em by the pussy, You can do anything” Trump beyond all shadow of reason is fighting for the rights of the oppressed. After the 2016 election I believed in learning to live with Trump as president and waiting to see if he really would screw it up as badly as people said he would, so maybe it seems disingenuous for me to quote something he said BEFORE the election, but in the full context we can see that everything bad he did before the election he also did after the winning the election, and he did it worse after losing the other election. It is preposterous that anybody would put themselves at risk trespassing in the capitol building just to get social media clout. It is ALSO preposterous that it only took THIS for Trump’s fans inside the government to finally turn on him.
in 2016 I thought they would refuse to back Trump, at the risk of splitting the party, but the party and winning were all that mattered, and are still all that matter. Everybody rushing to condemn Trump NOW who were trying to get him elected and RE-elected do not deserve any more congratulations than the forklogans with secessionist flags who are only more guilty an account of not recognizing that the tide has turned. I will forgive real people who show contrition, but I don’t think many, if any, of Trump’s former enablers have, will have, or ever have about anything. Least of all Mitch Mc-will-never-be-Gonell, safely re-elected and free to put forth the appearance of decency short term. People like that have done more damage than Trump; Trump only made their game more obvious and decided to stop playing it properly after he lost. He pledged to drain the swamp and instead wallowed in it for four years, and then the swamp drained him after he formally invited the tar pit to join the fun.


A swamp is in fact a crucial wet-land habitat for animals and plants and I hate to associate it with the likes of Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz who would gladly see all real beneficial swamps replaced with walmarts, so “good” I will probably stop hearing that particular phrase used for a while.

I would also welcome never hearing about “celebs” or what they want that they don’t already have ever again.



January 4, 2021
tick! tock! tick! tock! I’m free to have fun, aROUND the clock!

2020 in pictures


janu:


febu


maru

apru

mayo

juno


julo

augo

seppo

octo the huge


novo

deco


I am glad to see that was almost not terrible!



January 1, 2021
In the Game Boy Advance version, Mickey’s eyebrows are removed during closeups because Mickey had a slightly short face change appearance in the 21st century Mickey Mouse Cartoons.

numerous misguided illustrations from 2020 and at least three guided ones in video form. Please accept my condolences if you recognize them all. I do not believe that there is any single website on which every one appeared.


I completely forgot to make a “2020 in pictures” post because I suspected a video like this would be slightly more striking, and when I did one last time I didn’t get it out until january 6! finding 12-24 static pictures shouldn’t take me longer than part of one day, so it will probably be ready by January 4 at the latest.

i sped up tedious or extra embarrassing items but I have not knowingly excluded anything apart from numerous frames from beet cartoon part 3 because many are not “finished” and if they were this would essentially be that video instead of this one.

In 2020 was the conclusion of my first botched free “sketch” giveaway and the entirety of my second, which means possibly the most amount of other people’s characters I have drawn in one year, and I do not intend to do that a third time. I am curious as to if that means I will have fewer illustrations overall in 2021 and more other types of works, or if I will simply glop up more needless illustrations of my own marginally thought out concepts as a consequence of fearing i will be forgotten if I do not post at least one finished dumb picture every week. Smart pictures are unlikely.

The music, something is missing in the second half that will give it the depth I desire, but the conclusion after that point only works by accident and I am not accustomed to committing accidents on purpose and it is only necessary to be endurable, not “good,” so that will need also to wait. I do not know for certain that I ever got covid but I am plenty sick of hearing this dumb tune for the time being!



December 24, 2020
The term is associated with Scotland in the Early Modern Era, being attested from about 1600. The term was spelled dork or dirk during the 17th century,[4]

it has nothing to do with christmas but it is what I have. Very likely you will have to click on it to go to a more legible version, so be sure to not do that.


this attitude exists but the depicted situation is imaginary, since that is the only way anyone, even a dopey purple lizard, would invite that snake anywhere, and neither would likely be permitted in most dining establishments anyway, due to covid, naturally.

thanksh, instagram. You know what doesn’t prompt a “link to a health source”? actively encouraging the purchase and pouring of designer poisons into your mouth.

Early on I considered having the lizard be lope (the annoying lizard from the longer and deceptively ongoing comic strip), but I imagined that thing would totally commit to pretending to like alcohol and not admit it didn’t if it chose to do that. Also the pathetic snake exists is a somewhat more mundane world than lope does so that its experiences are slightly more relevant to reality. Lope would not have access to “beer” and would have to settle for something with a stupider made-up name like Glapzo.
it incorporates a composite of responses from an anonymous comment thread of people claiming to not be able to stand the taste of alcohol but drinking it anyway and not explaining why they would do that and seemingly not even realizing how little sense that makes, apart from one who claims to just be after a “buzz.” I would post specific examples but I don’t feel like entering image code and being reminded of other things to complain about for the rest of the day when this is already two days late! If you can drink it at ALL that means you CAN stand the taste, so your experience is different, unless you have willfully longterm suppressed your ability to taste it, which also means your experience is different since that is ridiculous to do unless you work in espionage or something like that and if you did you would have the discipline to resist leaking out bits of information related to it.

Some people live their whole lives like that, doing totally optional stuff they hate, acting like they don’t have a choice, and forced laughing while explaining it. I can’t stand that. Such as anyone who complains about having to watch idiotic commercialized “educational” television with their small children. YOU had the power to not expose your children to garbage. “oh i’m so out of shape since I haven’t been able to get to The Gym ha ha.” You can exercise anywhere! You don’t need to pay a membership fee to go to some dreadful over air-conditioned gender role-enforcing dump and be seen in embarrassing poses and clothing.
And I don’t want to hear about the long lines at disney world. Oh excuse me, at “Disney.” There are other less-attended theme parks that cost substantially less without being reasonably priced so you can still go fashionably into debt to arrange a trip and are probably closer to your home and don’t directly finance the acquisition and diluted overexposure of formerly tolerable media franchises! Ah oh or the advertisements on spotify. You can GET this music yourself and listen to it whenever you want in any order you want, and you can also listen to music that isn’t in spotify at all. I bring ear phones with me when I go shopping to save myself from having to complain about the terrible music in stores. I have no tolerance for bad food and bad music. I couldn’t pretend to like it if I wanted to, but I also couldn’t ever want to.



December 15, 2020
you are trapped on ice. self-destructing…

something on thursday, is not christmas themed. It takes me so long to do anything, it is impossible for me to expect to have them done by specific dates, unless I simply do them months before they are relevant, and then I would have to wait to post them, and then I would suddenly feel very behind having spent that time on something I couldn’t use, and so I simply would not spend that time on that!
///////////////////////


no more googol maps for me! I finally got a real navigation system in this car. there is just something suspicious about it.

as it happens i was taking these things out of a storage unit, but why did the dumb dope have to be RIGHT there? it almost looks like I staged it that way, as if i noticed the painting was in my shot of the globe and then i turned it around so the dope would be there, which is ridiculous. And then later when i was unloading the car’s contents and returning from placing one set of things into the garage, there is THIS:


dope AND nemitz. i shouldn’t have to put up with that. why was I “storing” this anyplace but a dumpster? And why is it inside my house now?


free ‘sketch’ so to speak 2-76 in which the character of lyraderg refuses the services of a dope. how does this dumb clothes-wearing anthropomorph lizard manage to keep dopes away but I cannot? most of the free “sketches” have not had dopes or nemitzes in them, but the ones that do ironically tend to be better than the ones which do not. This being the case does not mean that i approve of dopes or nemitz. I believe they may have sabotaged the entire endeavor to make themselves seem less stupid overall, even though I simultaneously REFUTE that they are smart enough to do that. They wrecked everything by accident but while intending to have accidents. I am fortunate I got them out of the car when I did.



December 8, 2020
Since the 2011 appearance, the Parade has since been without a Popeye-themed unit.

Popeye’s Island Adventures, the worst Popeye cartoon I never heard of. I alluded to it briefly at least twice in the past, thinking it better to not dwell on, the more recent time receiving comments –and I often don’t receive any– to the effect that the commentators had heard even less of it than I had, so perhaps I ought to say SOMETHING about it. I seem to have far too much to say about it.


in 2018ish I had been aware of the notoriously low-quality cartoons that King Features produced to try and capitalize on the high returns of 1930s popeye cartoons that had begun being broadcast on television in the 1950s. King Features actually owned Popeye but had licensed the character to Fleischer Studios and then Paramount, but was missing out on big buck$ due to not owning the animated cartoons. And so King endeavored to make hundreds of its own cartoons on the lowest budgets possible with the dumbest Tom and Jerry ripoff plots ever, their only legitimacy coming from employing the same three voice actors who had most recently been associated with Popeye, Olive Oyl and Bluto in the Paramount cartoons. Which also tended to have moronic one-dimensional plots but at least were well-animated. So then inexplicably King Features’ awful cartoons turned out to also be popular, and also for, honestly, no good reason, renamed Bluto to Brutus and changed his design in a superficial manner that could easily be written off as a consequence of the budget reduction, which led to an entire generation of television viewers being confused about what Popeye’s recurring foe’s name was.

Anyway I was finally looking those up, and surprisingly they were on youtube, which had for years been deleting uploads of Popeye cartoons, but these were on the “OFFICIAL popeye and friends” youtube account, and indeed they were awful and formulaic, with occasional bits of surrealism and intensity that unfortunately are subordinate to the formulaicness. I had been writing obsessive notes about a particularly abysmal entry, name of “Hoppy Jalopy,” and at the end observed:

even if the animation and art didn’t look like they cost 2 cents to make this might be the worst popeye cartoon you (you being me) have seen, although the uploading account has a number of videos labeled “popeye for kids” that look to be at the level of the “capn crunch show” that you avoided some years ago.

“Popeye for Kids” turns out to be an unofficial title for Popeye Island Adventures but that even the official account for uses. This official Popeye youtube account had uploaded all those old cartoons legally as a way of establishing legitimacy for the new series it was trying to push. It chose the 1950s King ones because those are the ones it owns, and also that its new series looks better when compared against, and yet still not better than.


Everything about this is dumb. How are diesel and punk more ‘eco friendly’ than a character born before the invention of mass-production?
This text dump seems like something somebody would come up with as a parody of the aimless mega-liberal boredom sources that continually rise in modern cartoons. also Popeye has a whistle instead of a pipe. Why he needs a whistle was less important than him not needing a pipe, and if he simply was not given a pipe OR a whistle viewers might possibly have not noticed and then the writers couldn’t pat themselves on the back for being so progressive.
But why does the new Bluto seek Popeye’s spinach if Popeye doesn’t get strength from it and Olive is the strong one, quite without needing spinach? The only reason Bluto would assume spinach was a source of strength would be if he had been watching better Popeye cartoons.


Variations on this nonanimated graphic appear during the extremely, for lack of a better word, gay closing theme song. “you NEVER seen a nuther sailor DO the things he can,” says the song with nothing to say, that only talks at all after the wordless cartoon to make sure the intended audience knows what it is called, I suppose. That it sings the words “Popeye the sailor man” rather than “Popeye for kids” or “Popeye’s island adventures” may indicate uncertainty on the part of the hack song-creating algorithm about what this cartoon was called or what purpose it was meant to serve, or possibly a profound awareness that it ultimately has no purpose.

something is really off about bluto and I had to look in the comments (which have since been disabled by the page owner) to realize that he is missing a beard. How is a BEARD offensive? I realize I said blippi’s beard was offensive to ME but first of all it isn’t a real beard and presumably he has the same target demographic as this. I suppose they wouldn’t want to give the “nu-male” beard to a character who is not meant to be a role model, and perhaps real beards are just illegal, or retroactively proclaimed to be appropriation of religious customs, or feared that in the near future they might be.

And ah ha ho ha if Olive is supposed to be so strong and independent, why is she put into this weakling feet-pointed-at-each-other anime waifu pose? Unless she is about to fall down or do the Charlie Brown Christmas dance there is no justification for this. Hey why don’t corporate entities ever try to make Peanuts media For Kids? I don’t know anyone under the age of 50 who cares about it. Olive’s eyes each also have a tiny little line jutting off the tops of them, hinting at false eyelashes, a trait not traditionally associated with Olive’s character design except late in the Paramount era when she was made into a shrill Minnie Mouse style character and meant to be conventionally attractive rather than independent or even funny. Island Adventures Olive ends up not being any of those things.

The yellow creature is Eugene the Jeep and is in fact an authentic Thimble Theatre/Popeye character from EC Segar’s comic strips, and the automobile brand “Jeep” is even named after it. Eugene did appear in a few late Fleischer Studios cartoons (Popeye describes it as “a magical dorg”), but didn’t work well with the less storyline-driven formulas and rarely, if ever, appeared until the 1978 bad Popeye cartoon where it at least appears in the opening sequence. Though I enjoy the Popeye comic strips they are entertaining for a different reason than the animated cartoons are when they are, and so it is of not much surprise that the more the cartoons try to incorporate elements from the comics, the less they work.


Despite being a near-irrelevant mascot character in Popeye Whyland Nonventures, that actually makes it considerably less unlikable than the ostensibly more important figures. As far as I can determine, J Wellington Wimpy does not appear at all. With his most noteworthy trait being how much he annoys other characters, his omission in this subtlety-free positivity fest is also not surprising. If I said his most noteworthy trait was his fondness for hamburgers, I would be yet less surprised that he wasn’t in this cartoon. 2018 Wimpy may even canonically STILL eat hamburgers and just have given up trying to mooch them off of anyone who IS in this cartoon.

Even the lack of dialog is cited as a culturally progressive trait. So it will be “as funny in bangladesh*” as elsewhere. Except it isn’t funny anywhere and the new premise still has to be spelled out, since I did not pick up on the concept of Popeye growing spinach and saving rainwater nor of Olive being an “independent woman” until I read that these were the case in a press statement. One of the funny things about popeye has always been how he talked. Also how he looked and behaved. What IS popeye without those things? Just some guy who likes boats and spinach. Or if you go back to Segar’s 1929 Popeye, just some guy who likes boats. Maybe that is a better “role model” but there is no reason to care enough to want to emulate this Popeye, much less watch him do things other than like boats and spinach.

*Unfortunately I cannot locate now the specific press statement which used this line but I insist it exists. I would not have thought up that stupid an excuse myself and not remembered I had.


The videos, in addition to having their comments hidden, have also had their own descriptions removed in the time since I initially sloppened upon them. They aren’t anything especially incriminating, and you can still find them through archive.org, though nothing behind the “SHOW MORE” button, but their subsequent deletion functions as evidence that the property owners, conscious of the intense negative reactions, even from people that aren’t me, have attempted wherever possible to make the aura about these things more ambiguous, since they failed to achieve one that was pleasant.

Oh there’s that again! Never in my life have i heard or read someone say “You know what i love most about Popeye cartoons? The ‘squash and stretch.'” That the 1950s Popeye cartoons lacked it entirely and still were successful and comparatively less stupid and pointless than Popeye Island Adventures testifies to that. People like the violence, the dialog and the amusing absurdity. Some more recent enthusiasts may appreciate its detachment from modern society since it is so thoroughly stuck in another time period. I wish the Island Adventures gang were stuck in another dimension.
ALSO “squash and stretch” in this instance is misleading because stretching or squashing a frame of cheap digital cutout animation is extremely easy and handled by the software. The artists aren’t individually drawing those frames, and so individual elements do not react to being stretched or squashed, and everything has a uniform line weight and so still looks flat and lifeless.


popeye looks so awkward moving around; he is behind an object one moment then immediately in front of it, like an old nintendo game. His individual parts all are moved but do not look like they are moving. Which is fine, for budget animation, so long as you don’t try to put this budget animation on level with something that is leagues superior to it.


Even the completely unauthorized “Popeye’s Takeaway” in Blackpool, England, is a more faithful and interesting use of the character than “Island Adventures.” King Features can’t do anything about it because, apart from the King’s authority only being ceremonial there, governments other than the United States’ don’t bend over backward to indefinitely prolong corporate copyrights on lucrative characters, although I can imagine the totally unrelated Popeyes (no apostrophe) fried chicken restaurant

having a problem or getting a problem if they ever try to expand into that region. I absolutely believe the decision to feature fried chicken on the window was made after confused tourists came into the store and asked for fried chicken rather than because the people in charge knew how to prepare it. Even in England the Eastern-Europe-style takeout joint motto is “put everything on the menu and use someone else’s pictures.” I am impressed they bothered to have someone paint that one awkward Popeye on the left, holding a can of spinach like he intends to drink it.

back to the cartoon, since I wrote allll this garbage, is it fair to issue an assessment based on a single two minute episode? yes because it isn’t popeye, it is rubbish that i wouldn’t have watched even one episode of if it had not claimed to be Popeye. It is like a video game made by Ocean. And then I felt GUILT about saying that and watched another. If something promoting itself to be a continuation of something else does not quickly establish itself as worthy of what it claims to follow, then I owe it no further attention, particularly something that hasn’t been interesting in almost 80 years, and should have been made public domain before now. The longer it isn’t, the more diluted and pointless it becomes.

Every decade gives “kids” less respect, and material that purports to be “for” them gets dumber.


yes I consider 2021 to be the next decade.
If you think it is irresponsible to show kids cartoons of fake people beating each other up and engaging in other uncouth behaviors, just don’t show them those cartoons.

There doesn’t neet to be a demographically prescribed version of every ancient character. Assuming this is meant to be a muppet babies-style companion to regular popeye rather than a replacement, I do find it less objectionable than muppet babies in any form, but I still wouldn’t recommend any of them to anyone.

Even in the 1930s Popeye was being watered down by corporate interests worrying about “the kids,” which is the sole reason Popeye’s creator EC Segar had him start eating spinach instead of big unseasoned lumps of beef to begin with.


(and also stop swearing at and physically assaulting hospital workers) and even after that happened Popeye didn’t depend on spinach to solve all his problems. It was only turned into an effective recurring gimmick in the animated cartoons because the Fleischer studios had good writing and production values. After Paramount kicked out the Fleischer brothers and took over the studio, they demanded a more disney-like product and the writing eroded immediately; popeye became a one-note, spinach-addicted loser who couldn’t do -anything- without it, Olive turned into Minnie, as I mentioned earlier, and perhaps most critically, voice actors had to stop ad-libbing lines. Ironically, it was trying to imitate Disney’s feature length productions that put the Fleischers into debt in the first place, as their shorter cartoons, foremost those featuring Popeye, had continued to come out on schedule and be lucrative. Anyway when King Features made their own cartoons the budgets caught down with the writing.

the next logical step was then, in any other situation objectively illogical, were offerings from Hanna Barbera in the 1970s and 80s, in which Bluto and Popeye were already forbidden from punching each other but not yet from speaking, being old or having beards. The trend continued in 2005’s “Popeye: Rush For Spinach” where characters still looked the same but in addition to not fighting didn’t do anything else either apart from occasionally awkwardly appropriating youth culture they didn’t understand. And now in Popeye For Kids they finally add looking totally different on top of acting totally different. I am not even sure why the latest Popeye even needs spinach if there is nobody for him to fight. Although, as noted, the spinach wasn’t even necessarily EC Segar’s idea. So by now the character has been robbed of everything that WAS segar’s idea and is exclusively comprised of an accumulation of the managements’ ideas. Segar himself got dead in 1938 at the age of 43 from liver disease AND leukemia and never had to see this happen, but couldn’t do anything to stop it, either.


I suppose it speaks to the strength of his creation that it took 80 years from the time of his death for the work to reach rock bottom.

although I like to believe Popeye was actually replaced by an impostor ages ago and escaped with at least whatever dignity he ever had.



December 2, 2020
research reveals that they too were hitlers

I was attempting to prepare a popeye update but unfortunately this occurred.


free ‘sketch’ section 2, item 79, on this occasion for Nova4Cooper, moments before Sigm4 steals nemitz’ groceries for a good reason.

I have abstained from posting most of these here, but goodness gracious the nemitz in that picture, it should be illegal to smile that big.

And even though I said “groceries,” that was for the description I put on other websites. I know that is in fact a bag of pine cones. I am just too disgusted to say anything more about it. That weird robot was difficult to draw but at least it is doing a good deed. I know it is not stealing those pine cones because it WANTS pine cones, but it does recognize the importance of separating nemitz from pine cones.

i can’t stand it. you know if elpse went out and came back with a suck full of pumpkins it would never hear the end of the matter from nemitz. What a mitzocrite.

nemitz should be put on trial. or really, that is not necessary. i hereby proclaim this imp guilty of being nemitz. case closed.



November 25, 2020
“We know he broke some part of the Federal Aviation Act, and as soon as we decide which part it is, some type of charge will be filed. If he had a pilot’s license, we’d suspend that, but he doesn’t.”


aw naw blippy.
according to legend, recently my mother Thorax was shopping with my slightly-less-recently-turned-six-years-old niece Violin and pointed out this display, then Violin said something like “i don’t like Blippi anymore.” Thorax responded “well maybe it is something for littler kids” and then Violin said “NO, it’s for ALL kids.” However neither turns out to be true, for the boxes here all say

“Not for children under 3 years.” You are either meant to blatantly ignore the safety guidelines associated with this screeching preaching hyperactew or encourage children old enough to know better to partake of his offerings.
I first became aware of blipson 1-3 years ago at a time when Violin was perhaps just entering the target range of these toys and fortunately either they weren’t available or we simply had not come across any. Unfortunately his videos were in ample supply and I had my fill surprisingly quickly, even beside a child who watched the utterly braindead and marketer-approved “baby shark” on a loop. blippo is extraordinarily annoying and creepy. He tries to put forth an “educational” image but it is fake. Even these boxes say “collect them all,” which is a fundamentally uneducational thing to encourage anybody to do at any age.


It seems that many adults also think he was/is creepy but cannot articulate why. I can. I just never had a justification to until he appeared in real space that I potentially have access to. He is creepy because he is phony and gross. Even before I knew he was a shill for mass-produced landfill filler I thought that, though that helps me put it better in perspective. That guy looks like he smells like human fecal matter and apple juice. Largely due to the combination of neon plastic clothes like kids wore in the early 1990s but the full grown man body and the fact that he is never ever fully shaven and his mouth never fully closed. he looks like a mentally disabled adult. which isn’t a crime but I was in special education, as a student, for a long time, and this guy reminds me of some of the more tragic cases, except it’s totally deliberate. including the attire like a parent chose and applied it, the ugly hat that looks like a helmet and worst of all the facial hair. That cartoon drawing of him makes sure to color in the place where his beardling is in a slightly darker color. Not a real beard, just light annoying hair so that he looks dirty. it reminds me of when somebody uses scissors to cut the tag off of blankets or cushions instead of removing the stitching, so there is always tag residue and it is worse than the full tag being there because I KNOW it is there but it can hide. I don’t want to worry about Blippy hiding in my bed when I stay at a motel.
The writer of that other piece annoyed by blippi concedes “He’s wholesome” but he isn’t! He is bad. He’s even named after the sound of swear words being covered up on broadcast television. In actual video blechhi is loud and obnoxious, and again it is totally deliberate and calculated. I think hating something for being deliberately annoying is valid. Even if an annoying thing has ostensibly educational goals. It is not socially educational. Nobody should aspire to act how he acts. And the guy is maybe educational about one tenth of the time, and just being a noisy jackass the rest of the time. The contradictions are maddening. He is childlike but built like some creep who got drunk at your house and passed out on your couch. he is exuberant and innocent yet condescending if you have soda in your house. He is utterly amasculine, but with that ugly forced mini-beard like he is a stock photo of a “rebel entrepreneur,” while dressed and talking like

Tony Barbieri, writer of ‘Monroe,’ Mad Magazine’s worst recurring feature, portraying Jake Byrd, one of Jimmy Kimmel’s numerous worst recurring features. Who is also unforgivably annoying but fortunately not marketed at toddlers and thus never going to get into the toy section of a department store.

I had to delete the email that I forwarded to myself with the store photograph in it just because seeing his sleaze makes me so uncomfortable. I mean blippy’s sleaze, not byrd’s, but byrd would also have to go in the mercifully improbable same situation. And then I avoided looking at the picture between then and today, and realized I initially misread, at small size on my mobile machine, the command “let’s roll” as “let’s pop,” and prepared some statements about why “let’s pop” is a stupid thing to say and now I can’t even use that*, and I think that also counts as a valid reason to not like blipli. Certainly it is better for his case that he isn’t commanding children to pop with him, but I don’t want him commanding children to do anything with him. I’m not saying I think he is a sexual predator, but I would only be about 5% surprised if he was. But I also am never surprised when anybody who gets rich off of youtube videos turns out to be one of those or a neo-nazi, and it seems like they all eventually do.
Isn’t it fundamentally un-wholesome of me to encourage such a strong rejection of someone, especially an ostensibly educational persona, based on how they look and sound? Not if the rejectee is only pretending to look and sound that way. blippi is deliberate, blippi is an act, by an actor, and I have every right to disapprove of that act simply on the basis of its outward appearance. And as noted he’s also selling toys designed to look like him now.

Say what you must about Michael Jackson, but dressing like a clown, having a ferris wheel at his house, having a life-size cardboard cutout of Peter Pan in his bed room, that wasn’t an act, that was real, and everybody could see it, and they STILL let their kids sleep next to him. It is bizarre now that youtube actors in a sense emulate some of Jackson’s weirdness on purpose and they still get encouraged for it.

*
what does “let’s pop!” mean? surely this is not encouraging children to overinflate themselves, but I don’t know what else it might mean in this context. it reminds me of when TNN The Nashville Network realized Nashville, Tennessee, after which it was named and at whose residents it was aimed, was just one place that people in most other places didn’t care about and rebranded itself “the national network” and used the slogan “we’ve got pop!” and it failed because that is stupid and meaningless and STILL didn’t make anyone forget that the N really meant Nashville, then they turned into Spike TV because spikes are always marketable. Someone in chicago was once murdered for popping, I know that much. So at least start with the ringleader.

actually I am glad I can’t use that, as it is fairly lame and poorly realized, and as much as it’s blippi’s fault I can’t use it, it’s also blippi’s fault I wrote it.


I KNOW it isn’t my fault! Just tell me WHAT went wrong instead of whimpering at me.


1930s technology is apparently more reliable. I would rather my niece watched old Popeye cartoons than Blippi; these are more realistic depictions of actions and consequences. None of those shallow twenty first century values of phony smiling fake-kindness, conflict avoidance and ultra polished blemish free cowering-from-controversy garbage

You know what, I’m busy, I have to get ready to not have thanksgiving.

I actually wrote about these cartoons over a year ago but since they are apparently rightfully unpopular they never came into my business again after the first time and I forgot they existed and didn’t finish.



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them`s fightin` woids: January 22, 2021
Charmlatan sez:
Got to admit, this leads to important information about your character… do you make your...
January 21, 2021
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I’m more amazed that you found SUPER sweet corn! That’s like way better than...
January 14, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
If you had offered gold dopes before the election you would have gotten a lot more celebs...
January 14, 2021
Donald Trump sez:
We love dopes, don’t we ladies and gentlemen? Especially the gold dopes. Ohh,...
January 4, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
we ought to focus more on curing dopes, or ourselves of dopes.
January 3, 2021
Ogden Nash sez:
Man is a victim of dope In the incurable form of hope.
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