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March 28, 2021
I said, ‘How do I know I want to be Batman’s butler?’ It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard of. He said, ‘It may be worth over $100,000.’ So I said I was Batman’s butler.


I got this back in fourth grade, which was probably roundabout 1993, from a school book fair or something because I would buy ANY book of comic strips that appeared in a weird place, and the character looked sort of like Calvin of “and Hobbes” fame anyway, and I had all the books with actual Calvin in them. I had never seen this big Nate that is smaller than a pencil before and have not seen it since,

but apparently it found an audience somewhere eventually among influential scumbags.
I don’t know how you make a tv series about a kid who draws comic strips in his note books, or why you need to save money by making it 3d since it would probably cost 2 cents to animate the notebook sections, which easily comprised about a third of the natebook that I had, assuming the tv series doesn’t just opt for static images.

I still had the book, along with this from the same book fair, a large hard cover edition of Roald Dahl’s The Minpins, which wasn’t actually mine and I don’t know how I ended up with it, but had HAD it so long i stopped mentally being aware of it, and several Cracked Magazines in a trash bag where they’d been at least ten years as I was always weird about throwing things away, but amidst trying to get the house sold last June I finally did, and I guess this tv series being made is revenge. I don’t know anything about it except for that picture, but I don’t really need to; I am 80% assured to hate any animated series whatever it is, this just happens to be a character that I recognize.

But it does go to show, if you stick to your craft, 30 years later a soulless corporation may commission an ugly computer mockery of it while desperate for new material not spun off from stuff they’ve had on the air almost as long or produced by sexual predators they finally had to fire after too many people found out they were covering up predation.

All this is not to say I hated the comic strips; I preferred the Nate book to the Marvin book, and it was my first experience with the expletive “dang!,”


which prepared me to encounter GRAYDANG in doom some time later, but I didn’t care enough to make an effort to track down more of Nate’s biggery. Meanwhile I eventually acquired each Calvin volume, though admittedly those were more common sights in book stores and finite in number.

I remember being really bothered by the way Lincoln Peirce drew the breast zone on Nate’s sister Ellen and apparently later other characters. I do not understand how this is preferable to not detailing a character’s chest at all.

However the bignate fandom wiki, which exists, features graphics which indicate this specific matter was toned down at some point. Peirce still draws mouths on the fronts of the heads regardless of what way they are facing.


the wiki also features up to the minute updates about which characters’ hair is pulled too close to their faces.

you are missing the bigger picture that Gina is a living cubist painting.


I additionally learned there was a big nate novel series by the same author that is REALLY banking on one remark from Jeff Kinney, whose “ugly comic strip about dork going to school excused by being ostensibly drawn by character in the comic” work actually came out a full 13 years after Lincoln Peirce’s and made heaps more money, and I wonder if Peirce knew the publisher was putting that line there. It is on all eight of the books,

and is also on reprint editions even less subtly. He definitely knew by then, I suppose.

Ah I said I hadn’t seen “big nate” since reading that book I had, but then I remembered I looked at its syndicate website at some point because I found and saved this extremely tacky strip from 2011.


I wonder how this works; how is a perpetual 12-year old commemorating the tenth anniversary of a national disaster that occurred when he was two years old? Or does this serve to acknowledge that he is in fact much older than that and simply not aging visually, like an elf?
Perhaps every moment of Nate’s life exists in its own separate timeline where he had been two years old ten years before, and in this one he has been surrounded by stories of heart-rending tragedy about nine-eleven and, unlike my cousin Delainey, about the same age, at the 9-eleven museum in New York City, or myself, mildly older than that on the actual nine-11, experiencing disillusionment and social terror at just existing every single day, totally over with being ordered to care about the one time people older than them experienced it, and got interviewed about it, and got validated in feeling that way, Nate REALLY relates to IX-XI. Alright that bully kid is STILL going to wreck that dopey pair of mounds, because the only thing bullies hate more than you standing there looking like that is you trying to get out of what’s coming to you. The only way to make bullies respect you is to beat them in a fight or make them laugh, and Nate, as the title character of a daily syndicated comic strip, is never going to substantially alter his behavior to get tougher or become funny so obviously those are both out. The only way that sand sculpture stays up is if bigger kid has mega right wing parents/guardianship that have hammered into him how SACRED 9-11 is, and new york’s FINEST, and the MEN AND WOMEN OVERSEAS, and PEARL HARBOR, and BOOTSTRAPS, in which case he is going to murder Nate and threaten Nate’s buddies into hiding the body for daring to invoke the divine power of 9-11. He will then call the newspapers, tell them he made the sand towers, get an award from the mayor and the city will make a bronze cast of it and display replicas at every intersection.


also: who the heck does this? places the end of their tongue out one side of their mouth to show how hard they are working. It is also in the title logo and apparently numerous other nate strips even without considering the logo. I sure don’t do that. I hate the feeling of tongues on my skin, whose-ever they may belong to. I would definitely have to scrape-wipe that part of my face afterward with tissue paper. I don’t think I have ever seen somebody outside of a comic strip or my mother’s description of a Norman Rockwell painting do that. And I don’t know what it’s called and searching for pictures based on the description is getting me way too many photographs of gross mouths so I cannot research this further. But my belief is that nobody really does this.
It is like talking while pointing one finger upward.



None of them are real people! I drew nemitz (orange annoying imp) doing it because nemitz does stupid things that are annoying, and even mit doesn’t engage in side-tonguing.


actually now that i think of it, the dork from goblins 3 looks sort of like nate (but not at all like calvin). they both have weird gravity-defying black spiked hair that looks more like grass and hold both feet in the exact same direction when facing to the side but only turn one of them and all the way around to face frontward, marking a considerable, charlie chaplin-esque posture change.


well THAT is the sort of thing i notice! too late to try and change it now.

some people notice other things.


this has no relevance but it is the specific inspiration for me referring to dopes as “decadent” on one or more occasions.



March 21, 2021
On an edition of WWE Raw, William Regal stated that WWE Diva Maria liked Rainbow Brite.

the end of the rainbow seems pretty overrated these days

this is less topical than it would have been had I been able to post on march 17, but Gold Bond fortunately does come in a topical variant. I don’t actually know what it does but nemitz probably doesn’t either and the dope absolutely doesn’t.

I acknowledge that this is rather similar to the stupid sketch I added on the previous entry.


initially mit was stepping on the pot with one foot but the pose was not functional. nemitz is not functional but mitz distribution of weight usually is. The bottle mit is holding in the final version is still out of scale with the ones in the pot because it seemed too stupid to bother correcting; plainly this scene does quite enough bothering on its own!



March 16, 2021
kimono cal, he’s your pal


The initial “idea” of this was to redraw legend of zelda sprites based on how i remembered interpreting them as a child looking at a blendy television screen, so they don’t all have a point, and then the idea itself got somewhat warped as I added more figures.

my elder brother used to refer to the lamnola as “the toilet flusher,” as in “here comes the usher, the ol’ toilet flusher,” and I didn’t really know what that meant but I thought it was funny and always remembered it. Years later I realized he probably meant “toilet brush,” and so I took the initiative of drawing it as one. He had also at one or more junctures declared that Rudolph the Six Gun Shooter had a very shiny gun, and that if I ever saw it, I would drop my pants and run, even though I would run far more effectively without the preceding action.

The “gel” blobs were my favorite monsters when I originally played the game and I made up a dumb song about them. I do remember the tune and it is not worth reproducing, but the words to it were
We fat men
we like you
we bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy
you kill us
we bounce on you
cuz we fat men we like you

but you keep that between us
I didn’t see any way to misinterpret the form for this but wanted to include one anyway!
I also remember playing the game one morning and was in level 3 quest 1, with the blobs, and my father saw this going on, attempted to sing the song, and I yelled at him for it because kids are jerks, and I also recall precisely how he got the tune wrong, and I today wonder how different it would have been had he been permitted to finish. We should have collaborated on an album about stupid nintendo monsters, and then he would at least deserve to get yelled at.

I don’t know why I didn’t think to include a “peahat” in this (or 2019’s very important hat video, especially considering i inadvertently put one hat scene in there twice) because as soon as I learned what it was called, I think from a television advertisement for the game, I always thought of peahats as actual sentient, wrathful hats, possibly with bladder issues, since I didn’t see it spelled out and couldn’t read and that makes as much sense as associating them with little green vegetable balls, and that is very much in the spirit of the drawings up there, even if more mentally than visually.


And alas now this has to happen instead.

the fbi should start its own peahat club and then arrest everybody who tries to join. yes nemitz would definitely attempt to join additional peahat clubs apart from mitz own. It now occurs to me that any hat nemitz wears while posing proudly instantly becomes stupid and incarceration-justifcation.



March 7, 2021
Though Muzak Holdings was for many years the best known supplier of background music, and is commonly associated with elevator music, the company did not itself supply music to elevators.[5]


You will possibly need to click at this in order to be able to read the words in the event you are interested in doing that.

I have told of the encounter that inspired this a few times before I went and made it. One person claimed to know what a fort night dance was but was unable to explain it, and I was uninterested in personally investigating.
The intent of this comic strip was to express frustration in relating to other people, not that I just don’t know what sort of music I like or how to find it; I have been hoarding it for decades now! Rather I think people who rely on youtube, spotify or ueck record stores to provide music for them suffer more than I do in this respect. I can hear what I want when I wish to and need not worry that I will abruptly lose access to it if stuff gets deleted, my connection goes or what have you.
obviously if I still have to type out an explanation then the comic strip has failed in some way but it still provides a foundation for an explanation that people will attempt to grasp, whereas when it is ALL text it is more likely to be completely ignored, or perhaps worse, skimmed.

I seem to have multiple versions of this image sequence; one says “energetic” and another says “Japanese” and I no longer remember which was an edit to try and be more clear. “Video game music” on its own means essentially nothing at this point, as you can put sappy acoustic guitar drear or imbeciles yelling over static into a video game and legally it qualifies as “game music” and somebody will mentally contrive a way to think I am referring to that if I say I like video game music, as if I am that arbitrary and simple. Because, in fact, I often am; there are foods that I know contain certain ingredients that I don’t want to think about, but I can eat those foods so long as the ingredients are not brought to my attention within close chronological proximity of my eating the food. And I just spent over an hour removing tags from “new” bedding material (it formerly belonged to someone else), including the inside of pillow cases where they were never at risk of coming in contact with my skin, because otherwise I will have dreams about the tags somehow getting me if I succeed in sleeping no matter how far away and rolled up into the . But about music my arbitrariness only extends to not wanting to hear anything from someone that I feel personally secretly in competition with, but nobody knows that. Nobody can guess the stupid rules that control me! I should* make a comic strip about that!
*n’t

Yes I think “Japanese” was the earlier version, because I didn’t want someone saying something like “BUT WHAT ABOUT ROB HUBBARD?” But for every Rob Hubbard that made the best use of their technology and did interesting things with it there are seven Kingsley Thurbers who banged random notes on a keyboard, painted bad electric guitar sounds and default spc kit trumpets over them and did the base minimum a job required. Apart from that early western developed video games rarely had more than a few tracks, if they had more than one, while Konami, Namco, ah ahh ahhhh-Arsys, whoever, were diapercharging games with heaps of music as soon as the technology permitted, and sometimes they even credited the people who made the music!
Anyway even having just the one word in there breaks the flow and I should prioritize entertainment attempt value over information since as noted I inevitably end up explaining everything anyway. weh



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: April 2, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
they somehow got on to my very oldest web pages so I can never truly forget about them. The...
April 2, 2021
Dhraiden sez:
I do not care for nor about this Nate fellow at all, but just wanted to say, kudos for including...
April 1, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
those books definitely have titles to the effect that the titles don’t matter at all, and...
April 1, 2021
Purplespace sez:
I have not heard of the eponymous Big Nate, but the book titles remind of the titles on Garfield...
March 29, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
I never saw it in a newspaper at all, I figured it was a southern or midwestern sort of thing,...
March 29, 2021
pindohodo sez:
“Big Nate is funny, big time” is both grammatically and factually wrong, big time! It...
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