treco de gallo conducts an independent inquiry into the authenticity of claims made in mortimewde stapleton meepmire’s latest product endorsement

They all thought I was mad for believing this would one day be the most valuable item in my house

3-15-2020 grupdate: I heard from General Thorax that paper towels are back in stock but latrine parchment isn’t or has already been bought up again, and chicken is also now a commodity item! oh oh oh those glory days of last tuesday are long gone. And dish soap down to the last bottle as well, even though one bottle of that lasts what, a month or so? How much of this are people really expecting to use?
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there is probably a pretty good chance of me getting the covid19 disease but I still think I am more likely to die in a car, turning left at a 4-way intersection or trying to merge onto a highway and I do those things all the time without any more toilet paper than I usually have

hold on what is this? i am receiving an urgent transmission on the emergency line

as soon as I received the master’s request i headed out seven hours later. In between those two points an empty cardboard box jumped off the shelf behind my bed and bopped me on the head. i presume it was planning that anyway. in the tiny united state of connecticut where as of the day after I posted this there have only been twelve confirmed cases, none of them in towns near here, I figured the matter was not urgent.

guilford walmart

guilford big-y-world-class-market(s)

madison stop & shop/keep going and don’t shop

people love to be prepared, except not really because I saw one person apiece at stopshop and big-y wearing gloves and nobody wearing gloves, including the staff, at walmart. note also: walmart sells darm cheap but effective gloves.

for example, the right glove here is from walmart. it does not match the left glove. i have a startling array of left-hand gloves but only a few for the right, all actually ambidextrous gloves, because legitimate right gloves like to blow away in the wind when I remove them to blow my nose. also this picture isn’t a trick, both hands are in front of me and i took a screenshot with my voice-activated forehead camera. the command is “help there is a camera embedded in my forehead it hurts”

nobody wears gloves but walmart does however have this thing that encourages customers to REMOVE their shoes and stand in the same spot. i haven’t heard of diseases being transmitted via feet but i haven’t heard of diseases not being transmitted because you bought a truck load of bog roll either.

also i have spent four weeks in england my entire life and have no right to use the terminology “bog roll” but I am at a loss for functional synonyms.

This was at Wal-Mart. Not quite a glove but I appreciate that you are trying, though the experience seems to be traumatic for most of the figures involved.

the toilet paper problem is so bad this pez candy has no choice but to be covered in feces and we are helpless to do anything about it. seriously why can’t we stop putting this horrid imagery on to things?

this car boldly shows its support of the world health organization. however i would prefer you keep those jars to yourself

I don’t mind the stores being crowded like this necessarily, there is an exciting atmosphere. It is like Christmas except people only want practical things for gifts, a concept I can endorse

additionally, i got a free fountain soda with my 12-inch sandwich at big-y. yes i took coke, mid-day; i wasn’t going to take their awful megaprocessed minute maid lemonade. i have to think about my health.
In fact I was not initially intended to drive across town from the walmart big y plaza to get to stop & shop but i felt so invigorated by recieving a free drink that I found the strength to grasp a wheel and press a large button with a foot for a few additional minutes.

no precaution is too extreme for this leprechaun, who appears to be wearing a diaper over his trousers, assuming he is wearing trousers

meanwhile this leprechaun has taken to hoarding gold.
am i supposed to be impressed by that offer? $50 is rather a small amount of gold. i think it is a ruse so he can break into our homes and steal our precious toilet paper while we go to collect his gold that we won’t actually be able to buy any with.

after stop and shop i noticed the automobile had nearly expended its gasoline, and i had 200 fuel reward points from stop and shop purchasers, which I could redeem for 20 cents off per gallon of petroleum at participating retailers. i considered that fuel prices might be dropping world-wide and that i might save more than that if i just waited a week but if we can run out of toilet paper in three days without needing it we can run out of gasoline in a week actually using it

i can never remember which way to turn this thing, though. hm ah hatten how does it go: righty-tighty, lefty loosey, loosey goosey,

henny penny!

i was not wearing gloves at this time because i had been eating my sandwich, have difficulty handling my money items with gloves on and also i feel safer from disease in a gritty rainy gas station parking lot than inside a walmart

Stop & Shop’s Pal™, Marty the amazing aisle-blocking dead-staring robot, seems to be sitting this one out. I think all the panicking is giving it anxiety.

or perhaps the staff are concerned about saving shoppers anxiety.

i ran out of bags on this occasion since I felt i needed to buy something to justify being in each store. This large package of paper towels is, in truth, from a month ago because i had to buy three of them to get the full discount and we are still on the second package in my house (the seltzer is drunken by other people than me. they almost never finish the cans and i frequently have to dump the things out before tossing them into the recycle bin but this is immensely preferable to and less expensive than when the same people drank diet caffeine-free pepsi in the same manner. the tables have been in there since my art show in november).

likewise, this cabinet full of soup was happening anyway. once a year they sell the progresso soup for 50% off for a week so i bought a bunch. the last time it happened i didn’t buy enough and had to buy FULL PRICE SOUP at one point. so this time i bought more than the previous time, and then the sale happened again the next month and so i bought more.
I don’t think there is anything WRONG with hoarding this sort of thing, but it is better to do gradually over time when rates suit it. the 14 piece chicken 7 biscuits and 2 large sides mobile coupon that i have been using at popeyes the past year however i have recognized as an objectively bad idea because i need to eat it all within about three days.

there only appear to be seven paper towel rolls because i tore one of them open during my previous shopping trip on tuesday when, first of all, there was PLENTY of toilet paper in stock and I had seen no urgency to the purchase of it, and i partook of stop & shop’s store made fried chicken, which is surprisingly good (and cheap) provided you buy it in late afternoon when they apparently make it. Unable to restrain myself I was eating it while returning, driving the car, on the street nearest my home, when I saw a woman jogging the same direction, who stopped to fiddle with a mobile device. as the car passed I was holding the biggest piece of chicken and there was probably evidence roundabout my mouth area. The jogger looked straight at me with a look that I was not sure was confusion, worry, or possibly disgust. I didn’t get chicken today because i already bought the sandwich and if i had not bought the sandwich i would not have bothered to go all the way to stop and shop which is in the opposite direction that Big-Y is from my home. Everything clear? I hope so because there is nothing left to wipe it with.

The disparity between Tuesday and today is striking; it means somebody actually had to buy

this strangely designed product that simulates the presumably cathartic experience of ripping up a lumberjack’s flannel shirt. I hope he has a patchwork shirt like the Poky Little Puppy’s blanket after the next re-stocking.

this really is not up for debate

I am going home

regrettably i have not been able to give this the attention it needs — i don’t like those static poses during the zoom in– because i want to conclude the terrible “free sketches-turned-needlessly-elaborate-digital-paintings I have been doing through twitter and shouldn’t need more than another two weeks for that, but this at least expresses the general idea of what this “scene” is. i will have to add more clutter and possibly draw it from different angles. i probably spend more time drawing backgrounds than animating at this point.

the recording is not good but circumstances are not always convenient for messing with noises! It at least is adequate for matching visuals to it since I presume (which usually means i am wrong) that re-recordings will have sufficiently similar pacing that the mouths won’t match any worse than they presently do.

Now that i see how pathetic that imp looks getting slapped around i want to give it a higher pitched voice. yesterday i inadvertently found a late 2016 digital interpretation i made of its vague paper sketches that i presumed existed but was not able to locate when I finally, actually got around to starting this in 2019, whose design differs from this one, so I ought to sort of which is the real one before going further. but will I? if it is a good idea, probably not.