Comic stripsnow with correct link
Exhibitionshave been lacking
About page
icon4 icon19 icon7 icon10 icon16 icon19 icon25

Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
December 31, 2012
Players control Marty as he makes away across the train, collecting speed logs necessary to get the train up to 88 miles per hour (142 km/h) while fending off enemies and avoiding obstacles such as hooks or puffs of smoke.

2012 in pictures

i had meant to deliver a crucial skeleton update before now, but I [was attacked by skeletons] and so it will have to wait.

That is this. More importantly, that is that.

December 24, 2012
Those who argue like this are no more than beasts able to speak a human language.

Tumbling up on a previous item,

is from the deviant art website. It was also a featured object shown to everybody [who cared to be aware] and had 1119 users proclaim it “favorite” as of the time when I saw it, august 2011. Observe the system drawing people in: putting simplistic faces on inanimate objects, particularly the big arc mouth with perfectly circular black dot eyes at the ends. Anything drawn like this is immediately marketable, especially food. Can you write the letter U and a period? Can you draw a square? Congratulations, you created HappyBread® Brands LLC INC. Here’s 3 millions dollars. Don’t put ears on it, though; that’s copyright infringement against CatLoaf, the exclusive intellectual property of Bananazone International Holdings, who get to sue you now. Don’t put eyeshadow and white makeup on it, either; that’s DeathLoaf, the inspired imaginatorneering of Gatherib Wendlemeyer, praise be upon her, a talented genius prodigy 17 year old graphic professional designist from Seattle who gets to order cronies to taunt you on twitter forever and then sue you also. Um I think this is art theft u guys???? I actually have total confidence in my statement but this insecurity is a total put on guys?????? Idek is it??????????????????????? Guys. It’s like, I just.

Watch this, here be a horrid picture of something that I ate, because I compulsively photographed my food for a few years, to assist the coroner.

Here it is again with that one face drawn on it. Notice how it’s still ugly, but it has that face on it. This is “cute” to some people. Specifically, the ones who spend $30 on an ugly flat-colored short sleeved shirt with a slogan or a logo on it. Imagine if you drew this face vomiting a rainbow that also had this face on it. Much like the my little poster bodonies, it’s really easy and really popular.

What is my problem? Can’t I just be happy for other people’s success? Clearly I can’t (and it is worse when it is people I have met in person but do not have any financial connection to). That isn’t real success, anyhow; the person did three other nearly identical scenes, and almost nobody who looked at this one looked at the others, and even less looked at the things which weren’t this. Why build people up to such a ludicrous degree like that just to immediately chop them down with your negligence? That’s rude. Why not make an effort at an earnest, ongoing appreciation, or, if you don’t truly think it is special, not pretend it’s some historical masterpiece? Because those who appeared were someone else’s crony. They like ugly, easily produced artwork, but only if the right person tells them to.

Anyhow, this was meant to transition into my real point, which is

Hey later, man. I’m eatin’ a celery stick.

That is a good reason. Very well, you are excused. Who is still here?

I have to go, too.

December 22, 2012
let me show you how country feels

I have witnessed the hobbit film and I do wonder why I fussed over the movie dorks changing the story to make it match the other movies better; that was precisely what I had hoped they would do. I had little interest in this film as long as I knew precisely what was coming next.

I still question the need to have “pretty” dwarves; when I saw those guys with human noses and no beards in the promotional image on the previous occasion, I just assumed one of them was Aragorn, the non-dwarf man from the other film series, whose presence would be superfluous and require me to accept that he was at least 90 years old in the other films. In fact, they are Kili and Fili Fili and Kili, who are indeed “supposed” to be with the company (which makes me wonder why they are deserting it in that picture) and, true to the source book, distinguishable from the other dwarves.
Obviously dwarves are not born old and bearded (right?) but surely they don’t abruptly grow fat prosthetic noses and British accents once they reach their prime ages. It probably makes financial sense, again, to have a designated “heartthrob” character, and rather depressing that we must absolutely bow to this whim. Anyway it works for Filly And Killy, who are designated the closest thing to that “role,” but I don’t believe Thorin, the boss dwarf, as a young type. His authority comes from his ties to the old dwarf kingdom, so he should be old, or at least really dwarfy. He gets enough screen time that he can be distinctive without looking like Aragaragorn. He has some nice battle wounds gained by conflict new for the film that only seems there to help him get battle wounds, but he is still fundamentally pretty. If you want to make a movie with pretty warriors who fight forever for no reason, adapt a Final Fantasy game.

My only real problem with this is those stupid boots pointing up.

As things are, the director Peter Jackson in his publicity attire looks more dwarfy and less groomed than Thorin does in full costume after weeks of marching, camping, and not bathing. I have also decided against posting any pictures of Peter Jackson on this web-page.
But that is all trickery! Movie magic!

let us talk about something natural.

Does this look all natural to you?

Does this look even partially natural?

The only thing I like more than creepy shiny symmetrical computer people are bright red open mouths. Also, that statement was insincere. This is important because I told you.

Now, with my school classes currently concluded, I do, in theory, I have time to finish some of the long and baffling incomplete website objects which I have accumulated in the past four months.


However, I will probably play old video games I have completed before and continue posting half-thoughts at about the same interval as before, now that I have gotten used to not doing it very often.

I am kidding; I can also play newer remakes of older games

Additionally I can play slightly older remakes of equally old games

I can play slightly newer remakes of slightly less– excuse me, am I boring you?

I can also play Wanderers From Ys

that’s what I thought. I am glad you are behaving reasonably.

Well, well, I I I…

December 14, 2012
DNA analysis and examination under an electron microscope had led him to be “60-70 percent” certain that the hair belonged to a yeti-like creature.

Barbie shows up the critics who claim she is a bad role model who stereotypes women as dumb and unfit for employment in male-dominated fields by beginning her 2012 presidential campaign immediately following the election. I come in this store at least once every two weeks and I never saw this display until [yesterday], November 29. Today is 15 days from then, I am aware. I haven’t even had a chance to turn my last calendar page yet, with all the unsatisfying futile time-eating rubbish about. I can’t wait to see what month it is.

Vote for Barbie(R) If corporations are people, registered trademarks might as well be, and they might as well run for president.

Also, I heard there was a movie about hobbits being made. Hobbits are regular people who just happen to be short and have a funny name and are skilled at having books about them get turned into expensive films. I thought I had from last April or the year before some big dumb thing written about from it but it turns out to only be a paragraph. I probably thought pah I will finish this later when I have more time. It was the “pah” which doomed the idea, I suspect.

Searching my hard drive for hobbit-related imagery I only pulled up “Hobbit Mario,” a pointless and effort lacking super mario bros. edit in the bland tradition that some gork had put on the internet at some point, so hopefully we can have this entry resolved with a minimal amount of visual distraction.

Back now in April or a year before I inadvertently became aware of a hobbit film, I went through various information about it, regarding changes to the script and actors reprising their roles from the Lord of the Rings series. I momentarily thought “oh that’s neat that Christopher Lee changed his mind about portraying Saruman in the The Hobbit movie,” for an earlier report had suggested he didn’t want to get on an airplane and go back to New Zealand at his age. And then I remembered that he isn’t actually in the The Hobbit story at all. And then I saw that Frodo and Legolas, who also weren’t supposed to be present, had signed on to appear, and it started to remind me of the Star Wars pre-sequels, which were so incapable of developing interesting characters or situations that every scene or so hey look it’s Jabby the Hutt or boy howdy it’s Chewbaccy! They have nothing to do with the story, but the story isn’t any good anyhow so look gee it’s R2D2! Forgive this film’s faults by remembering better movies this director has directed! Because you’ll pay to see it however awful it is!
It already, as of now in April when I wrote this has a 500 million dollar budget; higher than the gross of all but the most successful movies in history. This thing would have to take in half a billion dollars of revenoop even to justify its existence, never-mind make a profit.
I tried to figure out who had been cast as Bowman, the bard, who is brought into the story toward the end moments before suddenly doing something important. As long as we’re changing stuff up, could we bring Bardy in sooner so his significance makes more sense? No I think they’re going to cut him out altogether and have Legolas take his place. It’s not enough that he gets to take the place of the multiple archers who kill the evil elephant in Return of the King and by the way also die in the process? He gets to [do something], too?

I understand wanting to compensate for the lack of characterization in the book, among characters that are allowed to live, anyway. Mr. Tolkein, the writer, liked nothing better than to introduce a villain and kill him in the same chapter. In The Hobbit he actually would kill the villain and THEN tell us who it was. By the way that Goblin who just got slain abruptly after appearing was the great king of all west goblins and was cousin to the other king goblin I killed earlier and has 7 CMA awards and crochets in his spare time. Well now he’s dead. Good work.
As for non-villains, JR introduces 11, I think, dwarves at the start, and then he realizes that he can only think of five distinct dwarf personalities. Thorin, the head dwarf who is obsessed with being a dwarf, Ballin, the more sensible dwarf, Bomburo, who is fat and resents the other dwarves for resenting his fatness,

Feely and Key Lee who are small and function as one character, and all the rest, essentially. Dwarves are short anyway, but these two are smaller than most dwarves but still bigger than hobbits, I surmise. Even pairing them up doesn’t alleviate the clear superfluousness of half the cast because that still leaves three pairs that have no purpose. Two of them start the story with tinder-boxes, which are used for starting fires, but they LOSE their tinder boxes and so become generic “this guy and that guy.”

On the other ehh, this mere jrr token acknowledgement gives more personality to the rabble than a generic label of “the crew” or “the others” would. Maybe they are supposed to be unimportant, but they’re still PEOPLE, goshgrabbim. I think my point is that instead of adding more people we should do more with the people we already have.
Also, this is to be TWO movies? Hobbit had the largest print and sparsest pages of the series, so how does it get two movies? How much of the running time will be the dreary chant-songs that the book occupies chapters worth of space with? How much extra, unnecessary screen time will Gollum get? How much of it will be the gang stopping and feasting for a month every time they meet someone Gandalf knows?

And eat it too, I suppose!

Alright, I see. I didn’t post it because it was stupid. Fortunately, I regularly post stupid things; I merely try not to. I expect to see the film this weekend with family members because I realized that’s the only use I am as company: doing things that don’t require any personal interaction or input. Even if a decent amount of people hypothetically had shown up at my famous art show I wouldn’t have much to say to them apart from “hey I am the person who made that over there.” Thankfully, I can say that in my life time I have made something.

and this wasn’t worth ten minutes! MY ten minutes; I realize you hacked and distributed this in 7. And now I’ve contemplated my response to this imagery for 20 minutes. This will make great mandatory extra deleted scene footage for the dvd release. In fact I should delete it right now.

This imagery was worked into the background on a website where I attempted to look up showing times, with the left on one side and right on the other. Which of these prominent figures is The HoBBIT? Which of them is supposed to be relevant for more than 20% of the story? Which of them is supposed to be in it at all? I get the impression the filmmakers wished they had been making a different film. Or the advertisers wished the filmmakers had wished that.



I am not quite back in control yet; I nearly had something for Friday but could not bring it into a functionally stupid phase

December 13, 2012
Brutal Doom has been in active development since 2010 and won a Cacoward in 2011.

Cards that were, I presume, used in a limited variety of areas to promote the “real” art show that will occur regardless of my personal involvement on Thursday of this week.
This, being legally Thursday, would be unreasonably late to make such an announcement, but I am unaccustomed to anybody I know from the internet having easy access to any of my locations. That is probably the best for all parties involved. I pose this out of compulsion. That is also a safety matter.
I am concerned that the only people I know will be showing up are people who could just come and visit me at my apartment. That would have saved much effort and one awkward, sleep-deprived bimshwel entry. However, the promotion promises a “holiday party for the arts community” which is probably the same group from the Summer “member shows,” and that is swell; it’s really not right that we should only have the opportunity to utterly not relate to each other only once a year. I never get tired of people who never get tired of dreary local landscapes and collages of random newspaper headlines painted red and put in frames.

The title is not my doing; when I saw “no, seriously” I said “oh, honestly.” However, I can be blamed for negligence regarding the name associated with my outgoing email. Beans cunningham because it vaguely resembles my given name. I would not use some internet alias for an important occasion like this because that would be silly. However, n ow that I have experimented with being called “beans” in person I dislike it also. I am too dull in person to be owed a name like beans. Fortunately, this is actually just that office again and not a real art gallery. Ah safe, reliable obscurity.
It is a nice office, though, and well-heated. I also approve of work being done.

Of course that time I went to drop of pictures everybody had gone home early (unless they were merely hiding (and if they have to stay the full 2 hours of this get-together… I probably won’t even do that!), but the custodian was on the job and inadvertently let me in while I was preoccupied visiting the various restrooms trying to find one with soap in it. The woman must have seen the huge stack of the things, pitifully positioned against the wall, but probably figured I knew nobody would steal them. In actuality I was merely so pitiful that I had no intention of carrying them for the 30 minute walk back to my apartment but held out optimism that somebody WOULD steal them, if given the opportunity, but would not happen to enter the building.

The other side. The nemitz was not on the real card, I added it just now. Any sooner and NOBODY would be showing up. I couldn’t stand there being a white space. This modification is to teach me a lesson, then, clearly.
It is a reused nemitz; I am far behind all matters and not in a proper functioning state if I can’t take three minutes to draw a slightly different dumb mitz. That thing is SO PROUD and doesn’t even realize it’s a perfect duplicate of another nemitz. There is absolutely nothing unique about it! What a derivative scumbag!

The cover-claiming was similarly beyond my control; I would prefer to share it, for this setup here makes me The Establishment and a deserving target of resentment. I imagine enough as things are without actually needing to receive any.

I recently attended another art related “event,” and some of these cards were present there. A bit later, when I went to leave and get hustled for $3 by some guy outside waving a rake around, pretending to be the janitor (the real janitor would have, again, seen my pictures and known I couldn’t possibly have sold anything), I noticed the cards were all gone. That meant they were either all taken or deliberately tossed on the floor/into a waste receptacle. The first is good because it suggests interest in what I am doing and the second is good because it shows a triumph of taste and decency

The idea of people unknowingly bringing this into their homes is horrifying, and them doing it with full knowledge is worse!

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: July 20, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
instead of dopesona i recommend “dopes oh no” to let everyone know to keep away from...
July 19, 2021
Charmlatan sez:
Fantastic! I’ve been meaning to make a “dope-sona”, but why stop there when I can *become*...
July 11, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
It does help that part 2 is a better game with generally more logical clues, and consequently...
July 9, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
I seem to no longer have the video file on my present hard drive but I took the screenshot at may...
July 9, 2021
A hooberdoober sez:
I would imagine the purpose of the multiple, differently-angled belts in the second image is...
July 8, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
because it is grey now
Less recent posts
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • December 2004

  • May 2007
    April 2007
    March 2007
    February 2007
    January 2007
    December 2006
    November 2006
    October 2006
    September 2006
    August 2006
    July 2006
    June 2006
    May 2006
    April 2006
    March 2006
    February 2006
    January 2006
    December 2005
    November 2005
    October 2005
    September 2005
    August 2005
    July 2005
    June 2005
    Maypril 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005
    January 2005
    Novcember 2004
    October 2004
    September 2004
    August 2004
    July 2004
    Maune 2004
    April 2004
    Febrarch 2004
    January 2004
    December 2003
    Octvember 2003
    Augtember 2003
    Junly 2003
    Maypril 2003
    Febrarch 2003
    Octnovdecjan 20023
    Junulgustember 2002
    Maypril 2002
    This never happened

    old webpages
    Mall Meh...ness
    I do not approve.
    irrational complaining about my television set
    Dennises are dead to me
    This page is not about shoes.
    I hate shoes.
    something award related
    Those Green Eyes again
    More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
    Biggest Loser
    Mall Blandness
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    Mall Egadness
    Las Vegas
    Spiderman 2
    Jope and Dopes
    These Green Eyes
    Game Over
    Mall orneryness
    Movies I'm not going to see
    Back fashion school to
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    Official pizza of Nascar
    Michael Jackson
    Free Speech
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    The first First Beet segment
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    Poetry Page
    The same