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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
June 29, 2021
what’s wonderful about “into the woods” is that all the characters go into the woods

I was in Wells, Vermont, then Queensbury, New York, then Wells Vermont again last week to watch other people have a vacation. The following section is largely unrelated to that apart from where the photoglops were taken!


i don’t want to try and deny The Jade Lightbulb or Emerald Lamppost or whatever he’s calling himself a livelihood but “pests” ARE nature’s way.


it really is about time for somebody to TAKE OUT the trash since it seems to be accumulating unnatural characteristics and colors.
I figured out that the object on the left is supposed to be a chicken leg, am not certain if the drink has a face or just the cup, and likewise am not certain which of those is worse.

yes indeed they are STILL here for you on the opposite end of the sign. I suppose i appreciate this proactive approach; i need not worry about them coming for me since they are already here for me. I WOULD appreciate that the artist painted them fresh on both sides rather than printing the same image twice but it is also badly drawn food with ugly faces which I am against even on material that looks edible.


hey look it’s 40 Classic American Grille Oak, the world famous restaurant specializing in wood-based cuisine. It has a slightly lower art budget.

Yeah support local businesses, not multinational corporations that pay millions of dollars for super bowl advertisements every year to push their gross painted sugar sludge at children and adult children. I don’t think it is valid to use guilt as a marketing tactic when you promote yourself with pepsi logos. nor coke logos but those are more likely to be marketed at hokey old people who deserve what they get.

also this it isn’t actually open! but still very pepsi.


religious instruction is getting pretty abstract. the artist has a 1940s buck rogers concept of how space travel works, wearing fishbowl helmets and flying around with flame gurgitating jetpackages that somehow avoid incinerating your feet. Yet the very idea of outer space contradicts just about every biblical statement and subsequent illustration ever made regarding the concept of “the heavens” as being above earth. That can only occur if alternate earths or “dimensions” also exist, and thus this is really depicting more of a 1960s comic book sort of idea, and very much confounding the point! If I had kids I would NOT send them to an institution that deliberately confuses the gold and silver ages. This is outright heresy.

As I understand the multiple earths were introduced primarily to allow writers to take over a character and bring back an older version that they liked better which a previous writer had erased from continuity, and then eventually even the multiple earths started getting their stories rewritten. in fact scriptural accounts of what “heaven” “is” contradict each other just as much, and the persistence of worldwide religions suddenly makes sense to me when I consider them to simply be fandom for ancient cartoon heroes, which I was also very bored with as a small child. I had as much of a choice about going to catholic church thirty years ago as kids these days have about getting elsa and baby yoda shoved at them as soon as possible, probably in utero once technology permits it. I don’t know if it is even POSSIBLE to get baby products that don’t have pictures of mickey mouse or elmo on them unless you go quite out of your way to procure them, or make them yourself, which you probably won’t unless you are Amish or part of a doomsday cult.


something is really unsettling about this ventriloquist puppet. it looks less like it was designed and built than a real person was cursed and turned into it. I presume it either dines at oak grille or is dined upon there.

apparently the character is a local advertising fixture, or the company wants people to believe it is. the ads are incredibly low energy, badly edited and depressing in how zany they think they are.


this is probably the best produced and most openly surreal one they have and it still makes me uncomfortable. That “aren’t we mischievous!” piano music is on all of them, except one that blatantly steals the piano music from charlie brown christmas, which is a substantially worse video but it only features the guy since he apparently hadn’t adopted the puppet gimmick yet and it makes me VERY uncomfortable so I am not linking to it! Despite not bothering to change his voice or disguise his mouth movements while operating the puppet –though sometimes there are weird, slow cuts to the puppet alone with the guy just suddenly not there– he still has a more bearable presence once he is partnered with a pretend person made out of wood, even a fraction of the skill or emotional investment of someone like Paul Winchell. Yes indeed at one point in history this was a legitimate form of entertainment that performers worked at rather than a weird embarrassing curiosity to make people remember what your business is called. It seems to subconsciously communicate: “obviously there is something seriously wrong with this man, you may feel better about yourself in comparison.”


children should not drink alcohol, unless they are chemotherapy patients delivering fav brand wine on a skateboard.

i examined the reverse oriented version on the left side of the car and while the large WINE and LIQUOR text is intact the “artist” neglected to correct the text on the bottle or the hat! How could anyone not notice this? Please, how? I want to not notice and think about stupid garbage like this.

And then I had to recheck the proper version and in fact the hat text is gibberlish. Presumably this image was auto-vectorized from a line drawing by someone not familiar with all the settings or who simply did not care, such as whoever drew it in the first place. The hat would have been better left blank or adorned with another wine bottle drawing WITHOUT letters on it. isn’t this interesting?


eh last week was very boring and unproductive! I have been trying for days to make some sort of update out of what I saw and the most interesting part was driving through

Winhall Vermont, ancestral home of the world’s most famous S.

which I was not able to get a picture of until leaving! I saw it on the entry trip but was positioned improperly to photograph it. Truly I thought about it for eight days. Thankfully it was not detailed as a backwards s on the north-bound side! maybe liquor kid should have one of these on his hat since it is so sensible. Again I would very much like to not think about that.



June 18, 2021
Haley Joel Osment as Beary Barrington, an optimistic bear cub who idolizes the Country Bears.


congratulations, you qualify for a free trial of Guy Fieri. If you decide you are satisfied, thereafter for a modest monthly fee Guy will continue to visit your home and eat your most disgusting food.
I remember being surprised when i learned Guy Fieri actually owned and operated restaurants. I truly thought he was just some guy who drove around eating horrible things, hence him being called “guy.” He looks like how the band Smash Mouth sounds. He looks like Scott Steiner without chainmail or steroids but just as much buffalo wing. In fact Scott Steiner ALSO owned a restaurant. A Shoney’s, admittedly.

i cannot at this time confirm or deny the rumor that Scott Steiner is the original shoney bear but I would like to start it.

he has definitely seen to it that his successor is smaller than and unable to challenge him.

in any event I doubt he invented triscuits like this Guy, who seems to be tossing an enormous, presumably lethal wheat thin at me, perhaps to keep me from leaking the family secrets.

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6-28 310pm the next post yet refuses to be concludable

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I escaped vermont but having something coherent to say about it continues to be unfeasible.

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help I am stuck in vermont



June 10, 2021
Snakes are actually more scared of humans than we are of them, experts explain


this month is, as an increasing number of businesses want to tell me, a “pride month.” Specifically with regard to whom you do or do not want to have sexual relations. But I do not know how to be proud of something that I did not have a choice about or work to achieve, particularly when the things I DID work to achieve I am also often not proud of! Even if I could manage it, experience has shown that no established group represents any of my own interests, especially as more and more of the symbols are co-opted by global corporations that are larger than many national governments. I am destined to be confused and alone! Is it possible I am proud of THAT? I hope not. But I am confused and consequently uncertain.


Contrary to what deviantart and world-class comedian Fortune Feimster suggest, my true self’s pride is not what it creates with, but what with which it distances itself from other people.
i do appreciate that the person i never heard of being shoved at me today by a corporate entity is not a fraction of my age and famous for smirking on youtube or singing shoddy songs, but I still find no fun or camaraderie in marketer-approved activities.

I used the pathetic snake in the illustration because it has and is problems closest to coinciding with my own, despite being subtly different in appearance from my self.
my “regular” characters are extremely proud of themselves but none of them know what “sex” is as far as I am aware. YOU may, naturally, be proud of whatever you want! this here is only about me. and it.

for other websites I named this piece “pride and precipice” because oh how droll it rhymes with the title of a book I never read. But I also realized that


years ago naming this painting “unimprecipe” must have made no sense. i confused “precipice,” a word for the edge of a cliff (specifically a vertical edge rather than the cartoonish, ready-to-crumble overhangs I prefer to draw but nobody knows that) with the evidently non-existent “precipe.” This is otherwise irrelevant to the present subject matter.

a few weeks earlier my mother had sent me a link to “asexuality, the ascent of the invisible sexual orientation” but which seemed to especially focus on “asexual” folk wanting to see more asexual folk on television, and I was not sure how to respond to the link-sender about it, and never did. I am not asking you to read that! I am merely issuing proof that it exists.

I appreciate my mother’s consideration, as twenty three years ago when I first knew I didn’t want to be called he him his, there was absolutely no way to bring up this topic and not encounter misery or mockery. I remember the first time I did I was asked by this person “do you want to be like TOBY?” a ridiculous ‘neuter’ person who had appeared on the Sally Jesse Raphael show, clips of which were subsequently shown and laughed at on the E channel’s Talk Soup program, which we both watched. I did not want to be like Toby. I still do not want to be like Toby.



it’s about 40 minutes, this link is just to prove it exists, I am not asking you to watch it!
Toby is boring and has a boring name, even though Toby’s stated approach to sexual matters and method of responding to people who are far too curious about it is similar to mine. Asexual is not the same as agender but they occupy the same “nobody is selling what I am buying” part of their respective spectrums. AND I don’t want anyone to sell it!

However I am not at all concerned about the more recent self-labeling asexuals’ “representation.” Any group with photogenic representatives will eventually get represented in photography, and they are certainly prettier than Toby. They will get what they want. I do not seek representation, as I do not trust anyone else to achieve it. What I want is to be believed and accepted when I describe my own condition, not have to check a box and not have to choose a flag. Maybe news of self-described asexuals would reach more neuro-normal fans of awful media, and after long enough eventually be believed by them, and make it easier to describe my own problem to them, but that would be a side-effect.


Admittedly I have in the past appreciated fictional characters that are never shown to have outwardly sexual identities, like Samus, Tintin, even dumb old Rygar. I don’t need an official seal of “by the way they’re ASEXUAL!” to appreciate that they do something important without romance screwing things up. And I would continue to prefer them if labeled asexuals started appearing in crummy tv shows, having that be their core defining trait and being exactly like every other annoying complacent smirking jeans-wearing forklogan I don’t like otherwise.
And I do like Olive Oyl, Dynamite Headdy and certain Batmans, who sometimes have their decision-making skills impaired by the appearance of romance potential, because they are able to remain interesting. Sailor Moon is perfectly capable of both fighting evil by moonlight and winning love by daylight. What I don’t like are gross, boring “sex scenes” and contrived pairings, like when a woman and man fight each other a lot and then out of nowhere start kissing, I can’t stand it.

it is the “love” as a completely embarrassing and forced plot device that I cannot tolerate. I may also experience difficulty tolerating the people who tolerate them! Even if asexuals never do this I have every confidence that terrible writers will think of other disconcertingly moronic things for them to do instead.


I can imagine the gay porn test being a quad-annual requirement for renewing your asexual license.

I don’t even like the WORD “sex” and I think “ace” sounds stupid but that isn’t necessarily the fault of anyone I am griping about today.


apparently there are rings you can buy or forge to grant yourself the magical power to not want to do sex. I should be grateful to not need one, perhaps. I suppose the idea is to identify yourself so you can be found and find others with a similar condition without having to be very ostentatious and PROUD. A little black ring is more discreet than a big dumb flag. I don’t like having constricting trinkets stuck to my skin, though. I have never even been able to wear a watch, back when people wore watches. A ring is worse since it will either be too tight or inclined to fall off and get lost, and I would want to constantly fiddle with and adjust it before then.


and now I need a flag to let everyone know I am a fiddler!



June 2, 2021
the mork and mindy and laverne and shirley and the fonz hour

very busy tuesday and wednesday. thursday should have a proper update with hopefully most of the text I fussed over on wednesday and tuesday when I was busy and boring not included.


comic page 53 of part 3 of this

as has frequently occurred, I came into conflict between wanting to be accurate with what i already showed years ago that i drew on a whim and what purpose I actually require the already established form to serve. one of the events that occurs at this location requires a hallway, which I wrote without considering I had already drawn a narrow tower. But I suppose it can work in a tower.

and even now i am not certain what sort of business goes on in this place. is it administrative offices? a shopping mall? a hotel? maybe it will never be important and I can avoid being clear. maybe these smiling morons are so dumb that they have businesses that don’t make any sense and I should not attempt to understand or explain.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

i warned you about this
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