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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
July 28, 2012
“What are you talking about, young pudge ball?” Dedede looked surprised.

Somebody called Kiki-Uma drew this. Ordinarily I do not post drawings by others here. Not out of principle, merely that I rarely do it. However I must protest on this occasion. Not the non-policy; in fact if it were a real thing I would be prevented from showing this image and then would have less to protest.

I protest dopes. This is notable for featuring an imp that once proclaimed its feet splendid while amidst danger. Here it has no feet or conceals them out of shame and it is rightly served. Of course on the previous occasion it was also decapitated, but perhaps it will only learn if the punishment is directly tied to the wrongdoing. It is rare that an artist so effectively captures the utter stranglobility of these useless wretches. I cannot stand it. But I must, because my chair was so disgusted at the sight of them that it went for a walk.
I want to punch them! They are so proud of themselves! They love having large ears and being absurd. The dope’s ears were pretty gosh darn big before but this is beyond inexcusable, refusable and disposable. These fiends have interfered with road traffic through their aimless game. Luckily the dope is too dumb to realize that it isn’t green and surely any motorists who aren’t dopes will also notice and suspect that something is amitz. Amiss, pardon me (but not them). As for nemitz, how can we possibly punish something that likes beets and likes dopes? This lot is incompetent. They are unfit to stand trial. Rather they should be jailed and executed immediately. I initially wrote that last remark about the bow tie creature but it probably applies to these as well.
Everything dope related is a sabotage of decency. I should not be surprised that they have upgraded to actual mechanical sabotage.

attention populace, nemitz has issued a thumbs up rating on the topic of nemitz. I cannot stand idly by while nemitz is tolerated. I pledge to fidget uncontrollably until justice is done.

I was recently in such a place that a tremendous fuss was made over me placing a hat on a table. I consider that classy compared to a big fuzzen nemitz foot. The trouble with nemitz is that everything it does is troublesome
nemitz has a master’s degree in crumbummery from bob dopes university. and it thinks it’s better than me because it has a degree and I don’t. But its wrong; I have many degrees of rage-induced heat which while not adequate to boil nemitz alive will surely aid its discomfort. I will toss nemitz into a landfill. sooner or hopefully even sooner it will stay there.

In response I drew this picture with that artist’s characters: the frogoid Chiro in the center and the two “mist twins” Yaku (red) and Yakuma (blue) who appear together sometimes. However, something stupid happened and several more dumb imps appeared. They really have few scruples. When I engage in picture-swapping it is my personal policy to give too much or too little so that the other party is as uncomfortable as possible. It is the only way they will learn.

July 21, 2012
Yeah he is Lupin the Third. Nice man. Yeah he smiles, and he gets angry, sometimes, but he’s a groovy guy

page 50.5 of this… it continues along despite my current peculiar mental state. I have left empty space for the event in which I recover and figure out what is supposed to be there.

When I was painting I would say with some regularity that I couldn’t quite understand my own images before they had color in them. Perhaps that is a factor in my inability to produce coherent ink lines that do not require a week or more of post-scan revision, assuming nobody else needs me for anything. I can understand OTHER people’s completed monochromatic images but mine in progress are baffling. I don’t doubt that people exist who could make sense of my pencil marks and choose colors that I would enjoy, and save me weeks of meddling. I merely suspect that my likelihood of knowing any who would have their own time to do it in is minimal. It would not be morally fair, anyhow, to have somebody else have to look at nemitz so often, monetarily compensated or not.

July 18, 2012
The soundtrack is now available either as a digital download from music retailers such as iTunes and Amazon MP3 or as a CD-R through Again, “Everything is Food” has not been included on the soundtrack.

this looks like the Avengers and The Hulk are actually challenging the red baron, and I’m glad they’re doing so (except for Iron Man, who appears to be reaching for mozzarella sticks. The 11-13 count is uncertain because Iron Man may have taken some before they got to the box). I suspect regardless of the outcome the pizza’s quality won’t be noticeably affected for the worse.

I don’t enjoy seeing scores of government and military employees get emotionlessly killed and forgotten in movies and video games. Avengers was a nice contrast to the last Marvel-branded film I saw, X-Men: First Beet, in actually making an effort to appreciate special agents and whatnot, even if they’re mostly probably jerks. In the Xmen movie, some incredibly cheap devil guy teleports around killing, in seconds, multitudes of devoted operatives who likely trained for years to get their positions. He does it by teleporting next to people, grabbing them, teleporting again to some place high up, dropping the person, and then teleporting again before he has time to fall. He does this to about fifty people in a few seconds, with no apparent physical drain from constantly carrying fully grown men through invisible voids nor disorientation from appearing in 30 different places in under a minute. I just know if I got to play as that guy in a video game I’d be allowed to teleport maybe three times before resting or it would cause mortal personal injury for some reason and it would be more of a nuisance than a benefit because the entire planet would be designed by someone fully aware that I have this skill and who resents me for having it because that’s the kind of scumbag you have to be to work at a software company that has enough money to license movie characters. I would still have to kill thousands of citizens but I’d have to do it entirely by punching to not get penalized, apart from the boredom penalty of punching all the time. Gosh now I’m mad and none of that even happened.

But this isn’t an imaginary video game, it’s real movie, and all those people are dead now, and the dumb kids who are supposed to become x-men don’t seem bothered and are minimally sidetracked from their regularly scheduled poor me I’m white, well off, have magic powers and absolutely no social anxiety routine. There is a black guy but he gets killed also, almost immediately after 20 million dollars is spent showing how great his mutation is. Again, the white kids quickly get over it. And there’s a blue person but it’s clearly played by a white woman and in any event nobody bothers trying to kill her because her secret power is that she is naked. I would gladly have offered forth a dope for the role if the alleged writer agreed to change the script so the dope got killed instead but negotiations broke down on the highway and nobody is stopping to help, you creeps.

I mention this movie now because it was watched in my presence two months ago at the place where I spent a week getting sunburnt, on a television machine in the near distance, while I tried to draw pictures with a mouse with a sunburn. In this way I missed the beginning of the film and didn’t give it my full attention until half way through, so I acknowledge that my assessment may be only partially absolutely right.

All these mutant outcasts in this xmen movie -immediately- get along with each other, drinking beer, listening to crummy music, embracing the latest fashion and language trends. THEY complain that society doesn’t accept them. The vampire show that also got watched in my presence is the same. Drink drink sex gender relationships. All these pouty aliens get along better with the “humans” that supposedly oppress them despite not having magic powers than I do, and thus a real person inherits their fictional poutiness. However is that fair? Look I’d go out and prove it if I wasn’t busy putting things on the internet.

Unlike the xmen, the vampires seem to have powers from the start. The one character who was the focus of the episode could read minds, evidently without wishing to. How is she not under attack from stray thoughts at all times? As a child she would have to be making moral decisions constantly. How much knowledge, that she came across inadvertently or unfairly, just from wanting to know it, but not necessarily wanting to steal it, was fair to use to her advantage? Would she have to deliberately handicap herself to offset it? Would she take full advantage of it? Either situation seems absolutely unfeasible to end somebody up at a low status food-service job, yet there she is, miserable at a diner, with coworkers who resent the mind-reading. You would either get yourself a rich and comfortable, thoroughly dishonest life or seek some situation where you could be free of having to make those decisions. And is it really dishonest to use the ability that you were born with? how does this person have remotely normal interests? How does she not feel totally alone and isolated from every person? I understand she is interested in the scummy vampire because his mind cannot be read, but clearly the guy is a creep and not a satisfying end. Does the show explain all these things? (a simple “yes” or silence will suffice if it does; if I had no problem with it I would have forgotten it immediately because all that stuck in my mind was the problem.)

I am absolutely not overthinking it because scrutiny is a consequence of trying to make fantasy gritty and plausible. I am thought grit. I wish people would not watch these things in my presence because I neither have time to watch them nor to ponder them later. I don’t have time because I spend so much of it writing these things. Also, looking for pictures to insert in them and then doing that.

I don’t have any good vampire pictures.

Hey Xmen! OKAY! it’s the last 15 minutes, everybody put on the costumes that the ads imply we’re wearing the whole movie and then have one mission together where we actually do the stuff people paid to see us do. Okay now let’s REBOOT so we don’t risk having to make a sequel where there’s time for stuff to happen. Did nobody learn anything from Star Wars 6: Episode 3? every ad for pepsi, doritos, cheezits and craftmatic adjustable beds had the real Darth Vader in full darth garb whoring it out to sea and then he’s only in the actual movie long enough to inspire a lame meme and then one power-point scene transition later he’s done.
X-Men: First Blood 2: Rambo: The Treasure of Sierra Madrock also seemed to waste a lot of time showing off effects for characters that don’t matter. As I said, the guy who could transform based on his surroundings was killed almost immediately. I suppose I didn’t expect him to get killed but apart from swerving me that was pointless. The Beast is a regular human for most of the movie and gets transformed into a megabeast toward the end, and then pilots an airplane so his beastness is irrelevant. What’s really dumb is that prior to then, when he’s mostly human, he’s trying to scientifically transform himself into a total normal human, which would deprive him of his magical beast powers which are only visually evident from his funny looking feet. What a fickle scumbag. He devotes all this energy to fitting in with other fickle scumbags. I know I wouldn’t drink a potion that made me not have a problem with this. It’s annoying but it’s my only interesting attribute. Maybe that’s the moral of the story and I’m supposed to dislike it, but I more want to dislike the writer for making Beast do something dumb that makes me dislike him. If you want to do that, maybe you can cast Kelsey Grammer in the role next time. What’s that? Oh I didn’t hear anything because I am static words on a computer screen.
Surely, surely, having funny looking feet makes it difficult to be naked in pursuit of life’s sexes, but even that isn’t a factor because Dr. Beast’s mutual affectionery is the Naked blue dope Lady, who also looks weird. And then Dr. Beast tries to get them BOTH to drink the normal potion, and then there’s a really uncomfortable scene about that, which makes ME uncomfortable and additionally wastes time. I hate that guy.

There are too many of these “superhero movies” that are more about the secret identities than the heroes. They’re REGULAR FOLKS JUST LIKE YOU who just HAPPEN to have SUPER POWERS sometimes.
Xmen: Playin’ for Keeps kept the “establish decade by constantly blasting contemporary top 10 hits that none of the characters are allowed to be indifferent toward the first 15 seconds of every scene” to a minimum. Nonetheless the mutants and normal humans are indistinguishable in appearance and behavior. Although apart from the stock President Kennedy footage and James Bond submarine sets there is no distinctive sensory hint that this is the 1950s.

I don’t want to go to the pictures to see a man, I want to see a Spider Man. I do have a special fondness for heroes doing heroic acts out of costume (as opposed to someone like Superman who will let the world go to hell to keep Clark Kent employed even though he doesn’t require money to sustain himself), but these are just heroes being normal boring oafs who have problems so that they seem realistic. No! We spent the whole last decade being plausible, making snarky references to stuff from fake comic books or cartoons that real movie people don’t do, and we haven’t stopped.

The Avengers! I liked their movie despite a solid 20 minute discomfort block in the middle where the main characters stand around in a room and bicker, though they showed little regard for civilians by not bothering to evacuate New York City when they knew alien turtles were coming. Those civilians then showed little self-preservation by continuing to labor in their office buildings and create TWO WAY TRAFFIC on the bridges around Manhattan. What idiots are going INTO the city when they see stuff blowing up? (my brother the Alex Jones fan will insist it’s the crews assigned to remove the evidence of controlled demolition from the rubble of the World Trade Center)

Loki doesn’t cut it as a villain, especially when there are four to six people who can beat him up at any one time. That useless tornado guy from the Xmen movie should have been here. Somebody who watches more movies than I do insists that Loki is deliberately pathetic so that the film’s focus is on the heroes working together. Great, but now the next movie is Iron Man 3, not Avengers 2. I didn’t even get much of an impression that Iron Man needed help here.

What if I don’t get a sequel? I was let down that this movie didn’t take the chance to show off Captain America’s pantomime skills. This is very helpful to people like me, who’ve never read the comic books, as it gives us important background information. We learn not only that Captain America knows where his watch is, but also that the Avengers apparently do not own a clock. Additionally, we learn that this is worthy of devoting precious level transition space to. The movie was too busy showing me what could very well have been the exact same footage of Green Goblin apprentices getting blown up over and over the final twenty minutes.

I was also disappointed that Iron Man never called Hulk a brainless gargoyle.

Oh gasp! I ought to have known! Spiderman, Xmen, Avengers, all united beneath the bow tie banner! I never had a chance!

UNLESS Roseanne has secretly gone undercover as Storm in an effort to sabotage the patriarchal dress scheme from within! But whose side is she really on? Find out if I mention it again!


I will clarify that I found the X-Man film entertaining on the whole, but the small things that stuck in my mind refused to leave until I deposited them here.

July 16, 2012
See the kids, as they get ready for the big fight with Scrag’s men!

Somebody evidently called Cody whose primary online presence that I am aware of is tumbly seemed to want, for a reason I could not discern, a picture of the imp Topaglior, the dope ripoff I ripped off for the illustrations for the text to a baffling “play” I “wrote” in 2004. So I drew six instead. Even more baffling is that I posted them here. They are not doing anything of consequence. Neither am I. I hope that they feel welcome.

July 8, 2012
The technical expertise gained from the Pruteen process assisted ICI in collaborating with Rank Hovis McDougall on a process for the production of fungal biomass to be used as human food.

One of these days


page 14 of that
This doesn’t tell you anything that the old one didn’t except that apparently I can bloody well make one of these in under a week if someone else has already done all the thinking (specifically, me eight years ago) and I’m no use anyplace else.
Also it is more colorful than the older new old pages that showed the same scenery, which is great! I’m looking forward to working over these pages a fourth time to get everything consistent.

I do have an unremarkable excuse to not excise those pictures of the lizard driving along some road which is clearly in a totally different place in search of the exact same place, or at least I thought I typed one out a year or two years ago.

July 3, 2012
The product was developed by Rank Hovis McDougall and Imperial Chemical Industries

7-3-2012 10:48pmish people are singing/clapping along with “WHOOMP DEHIDIHHH!” in the outside seating section of the bar across the road from my apartment. Certainly, I listen to music from dumb old Sorcerian at 2 am so I should be the last to judge, but I feel as if there are an inadequate quantity of judges before me.

July 2, 2012
Paladin’s Quest is the story of Chezni’s wondrous misadventures

page 13 of that. Howdy. i may be thinking about these remakes too hard. Here is another half a page which did not have a counterpart in the old version, whose primary function is to cover up an error I made before that nobody noticed and/or cared about. I had implied before, through not implying anything, that there was a forking path or some way of getting lost while going up the hill, but all distance views show that the path is straight and impossible to get lost on. So I needed to show that the creature was confused before it got on a path. Initially the DUNK sound effect was FADUNK and the sound of a wall moving, but there was no way to prove that withouth showing it or having a character be aware of it and it seemed excessive. I’m not sure that being able to cover my old mistakes is an even exchange for having lost all sense of line weight or background gag application.
Worst of all, now that lizard thinks it’s the main character!
Why is that fool walking like it means business? I know that it doesn’t!

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: July 20, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
instead of dopesona i recommend “dopes oh no” to let everyone know to keep away from...
July 19, 2021
Charmlatan sez:
Fantastic! I’ve been meaning to make a “dope-sona”, but why stop there when I can *become*...
July 11, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
It does help that part 2 is a better game with generally more logical clues, and consequently...
July 9, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
I seem to no longer have the video file on my present hard drive but I took the screenshot at may...
July 9, 2021
A hooberdoober sez:
I would imagine the purpose of the multiple, differently-angled belts in the second image is...
July 8, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
because it is grey now
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