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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
August 29, 2013
The rousing, rollicking, adventure of the world’s first rockin’ rooster.

Hey, let me tell you something. I do not NEED your permission to tell you anything!


A few bims ago I got into the topic of people pretending to be Nazis on the internet.
You might be aware that I have had my own accusations of insensitivity with regard to Hitlery activities, and I have considered the potential hypocrisy of me whining over this. But I didn’t say so then so I say it now. My use of nazy imagery behind generalissimo eli was meant to be seen as conspicuously bad taste, and if I thought that could not be determined from the context I would have changed it so that it was. These people think it is GOOD taste.
When I was in fourth grade I remember seeing another student draw a big swastika in a notebook. Nobody had ever told me that the Nazis butchered citizens of their own country, but I recognized the symbol from a book in my house and from a bizarre “ducktators” cartoon i had at one point on a vhs tape (that like any other cartoon I watched just because it was a cartoon without considering what its point was) and just thought “hey that IS a neat symbol. I will draw it in MY notebook too!” So after every suit-wearing man in the school district decided I was safe to return to the class, I naturally recited a jerky poem about how I can like whatever I want and nobody has the power to stop me.

This notice about returning was posted on the page of the person in question shortly before she was barred from returning to this specific fur-themed website. Actual Nazis’ lack of belief in free expression is one of the major things that defines them as nazis, but this has nothing to do with “free speech.” You can’t (or shouldn’t be) arrested for stating opinions, but you have no constitutionally granted right to use any website. And if we disregard the law, because it is often needlessly harsh and arbitrary, plus generally not written with the internet in mind, and consider what would be the “nice” or morally just thing to do, this person probably should have been tossed in a dumpster four years earlier. I would feel that way if I encountered this without any backstory.

“Free speech” is meant to give you also the opportunity to defend your opinion. Legally you do not have to, but if you merely state it and claim you are entitled to it, then it comes across like you CAN’T defend it, especially if you have plenty of time to write poems and draw pointless animations whose only purpose is, once again, to bother people. The supreme court might support your right to use the swastika to annoy people, but they might also agree that Richard Garriott can come sleep in my bed any time he wants because the end user license agreement for the Ultima Collection CD I got 14 years ago says so. Nobody reasonable would accept that.

As far as what these opinions are, “cartoon cats should proudly wear world war 2 nazi swastika armbands” is an opinion, in a sense, I suppose, and it isn’t just furries who are going to not like that.
This is controversial or contentious like putting a pancreas in someone’s mailbox is controversial: it isn’t, it’s just illogical and can’t possibly accomplish anything. No publicity is bad publicity, right? But this is because less than 15 people will ever read this. Nobody will give the crispy cat a book deal because I linked to its page.

I have made jokes about the famous September 11 2001, because the hype and the federally, commercially mandated mourning was an artificial and unpleasant, and often laughable waste of time. But I never made it a major life goal to post things on the internet designed foremost to be a nuisance. And still I felt bad about some of it, eventually. You can’t even compare nazi stuff to other symbols; 70 years of remembering history to avoid repeating it have removed it from logical consideration.
There could be a time in United America and Germany when swastikas mean good luck and good times, but nazis themselves wearing swastikas will always be genocidal murderers, and that stuff isn’t only in these two countries or the past. There are active Nazi groups in Russia. There are a few in the parliament of Greece, and not in the “Heil Obama, he wants to use the power the constitution grants him” sense; people who would kill their own citizens out in the open, without even sending them to secret prisons first, if they got enough of their own in the room for a vote. A legitimate attempt to desensitize people to this solves nothing.

The acquaintance I mentioned last time also draws the characters without swastikas, because he found the response to his first picture, which fully featured them, lacking, but he still credits the characters to this crispy person who is deliberately horrid, and then tries to promote the horrid person to someone like me (or did, one single time). I won’t give a gummy bear to somebody whose existence I can’t justify (not even a clear one; I actually like them now); I certainly wouldn’t spend hours drawing pictures for them, especially if I had to deliberately mischaracterize the subjects. The characters aren’t particularly distinctive anyway. You could draw any dumb white cartoon cat and call it an “original character” and avoid associating with creeps like that. It would still be a boring style pastiche but I suppose that is beside the present point. In fact as far as I can tell nobody but me cares whose characters he is drawing so long as he takes out the swastikas, even though if they are the same characters they are still nazis, because part of being a furry is being able to look at a dumb cartoon like Balto or Rescuers Down Under or something drawn to resemble one and not realize how dumb it is, and that’s why they enjoy each other’s company and I don’t.

Apart from trying to conclude an unfinished thought, I also couldn’t handle bimshwel being the last “video game humor” website to not have the condemnatory, excema suffering Master-D on it. I cannot do anything about its ultimate fate as the last website.

Speaking of cruel, power-mad dictators with low opinions of Anne Frank,

I cannot tell you what manner of female human Justin Beepler desires (It might affect listeners’ abilities to imagine they specifically are being sung at if they had details, after eh).

However, our own Never-Seen (not even now; I refuse to look) bimshwel exclusive photographs show that purple hair and knee-high yellow boots do not tickle his fancy. Walking barefoot on one’s toes while wearing blue capri pants is the only way to go.

Apart from specifically choosing to look like an extra from West Side Story, the recording industry’s current Justin’s transition from a welch’s grape juice advertisement-look is nothing new. It is the standard “hey Media I have SEX now watch out” forced image makeover. Usually people try to become trashy or thuggish, unless they already have a thug image, in which event they elect to remain thug-like. Nobody ever thinks “maybe I should change my public image of sex-driven, overpaid, selfish, untrustworthy moron.” In fact that is often a condition for them to continue being granted the luxury of being one (unless they become nazis or mildly overweight). What is notable is that this is the fourth time I have mentioned he-who-biebs despite only ever having heard one of his songs and only learned it was his on a technicality. This could give people the impression that I sometimes have really elaborate opinions on topics I know nothing about.

August 22, 2013
Bernie’s back… and he’s still dead!

page 56 of the bimshwellian comicoid. due to unusual logistical matters i started drawing this one before i had colored the previous. In fract both were drawn before I went to Paris; my hope was to work on them while there and like most of my hope for the trip it was invalid.

How did the fringo club get back to its starting place in half a page when their outward journey took 2 pages? Simple: I drew that it happened.

I might be overdoing the “perspective” forcing, especially since there are only three things in this comic that I know how to draw: imps, geometric shapes and vegetables. Implying that I can do more than that makes it more obvious that I cannot.

i removed the coat from nemitz because I kept forgetting to draw it, and then having to erase fur-edged arms. The same with the hat, which I retroactively declared had fallen off by its own power on the previous page to keep me from having to re-evaluate what mits horns were doing.

I realized rather late that I don’t know what “money” looks like. I drew it as paper first (hence dumb mitz lunging for it (with that opportunity removed it now seems probable that nemitz ate its hat and coat)) but when coloring it like monopoly money decided there was no reason that it should be paper, except to make it instantly recognizable as money when it is displayed. next I drew it as gummy bear-like objects but they seemed too small. I settled on little balls of fuzz when I thought of it and laughed at the idea. I had the elpse creature say “monsy” instead of “well” in that frame since that was now no longer evident from the image. I may have to change them to bigger balls of fuzz if they still seem awkward when I review the frame for attachment to the next page, which has not been drawn yet.

August 16, 2013
Danger and beauty on Hatteras Island

There was a time when writing became an overwhelming burden, because I made the job too difficult, and I resorted to posting pictures I made in the absence of long written pieces, and then later I realized that, owning the website, I was entitled to do that, and later still I felt bad about it again and posted neither words nor pictures. Those were some tough times.

You should always bring a hat to protect against burns.

I think this fulfills my blue sky quota for the year.

Feel free to use this as the title screen to your terrible 1992 super vga shareware game.

a “bear” because the original sketch 9 or so years ago had a similar looking creature in it. I could change it but I have not thought lately. What I did change was the potential victim to ant, instead of a rat. I thought the rat was more stylish but was of improbable size and presumed quickness to suit this pasttime. And then I drew the replacement ant at the size of a rat because I was still hurting from my loss. I wish somebody who otherwise had no sympathy for humanity would take pity on me.

And I suppose you could say ah ha! Obviously nazis dislike gays so this is a JOKE. Like duh derp rainbows Uhhhh? but if it is, it’s a really crummy joke that is more concerned with bothering people than making anyone laugh. A joke that has the dual service as a trap for people who aren’t in on the joke, so that wrath can be directed at them for not being in on it.

Fortunately that mental acrobatics isn’t necessary because, like this one who has reported on a previous posting by me of the previous image, there actually are people who think adopting Third Reich names and symbolism is stylish and acceptable [for their otherwise stylish and acceptable misanthropic animal personas], which requires totally different but more publicized mental acrobatics to comprehend. Either they have no concept what real National Socialists actually were, and willingly keep themselves from knowing, making them morons, or know full well and have no problem with it, and I don’t understand how somebody raised in this country in this time period can get to that position.

In fact I have been more closely acquainted with at least one person who thinks neo-nazi-ism isn’t a big deal so long as the culprit draws cute kitty-cats.

And I probably don’t help it by changing the subject away from condoning Nazis,

because I was concerned I was being too hard on my conversation opponent because I knew I was annoyed at him already, for other reasons, such as liking other artists I had different problems with. But thinking now (glad I thought of it), I shouldn’t silence myself to preserve a relationship where I must constantly silence myself, for it is always the same reason: these people don’t care/notice how horrid or infantile anyone else is so long as the cute distribution operation is maintained. The fur-folk crum-bummunity thrives on that, but it is symptomatic of society in general. We treat babies like royalty (because they are “cute” to someone) and if they have a marketable talent then they may get to grow up feeling entitled to special treatment. Noisy, abrasive, uncontrollable, but they draw/sing/wear/remove clothing nice so they get away with it. People who are aware it is horrible say nothing because they can make money for themselves by filming and producing television programs about it. The fantasy of entitlement is “reality.” This “cute” nazi fan artist has nearly 1900 known regular observers, a majority of whom may be presumed to condone the whole thing. There’s no incentive there to alter the behavior. There are 14-year-olds who aren’t necessarily nazis but have 3 times the following and it’s just normal to them that whatever awful they thing they do, if even 3% publicly support them or think they stand to gain something by seeming to, there will be 90ish people to say “great job living!” If I said “that person is a Nazi!” in any other context I would look like a hyperbolic kook, and now that I can say that, the response is “I know, isn’t it cute?”

Anyway, the point is that sometimes it is better if people like me just post drawings without saying anything.

All this is not to say there aren’t individuals who deserve the gas chamber, but that needs to be decided on a case by case basis.

The topic continues over here.

August 8, 2013
AARP? That’s a huge deal

page 55 of whatever that is.

My layouts are typically boring. they should probably stay boring. I observed a bunch of batman comics with very “dynamic” layouts and individual pages were often impossible to see immediate logic in. I found out who won the fight when there was a pile of bodies on the ground or batman on the ground. Outside of fights it was mostly narration. Why don’t I just read a real book, then? Because that would take longer than 15 minutes.

I put too many gnomes into Fringo’s gang. For the chase portion, instead of looking at who I had already drawn inside the bar, I just made new gnomes. and yet i had difficulty deciding who was holding the weapons (my layout from months ago just showed hands) and feared I might have to draw up a new one or bring another out of the bar, which I did not want to do because there are already too many there. I didn’t want to have one of the wimpy gnomes holding the key, since it’s a BIG key. the satyr seemed a good choice, since they love their secrets, but since that one expressed dissent I don’t think it would brandish the item so quickly. also I am sure somebody would appear to tell me that satyrs are associated with drunkenness and I would be a fool to pass an opportunity to incorporate something-to-do with liquor. maybe a shot gun that fires shot glasses or something stupid like that. stupid is the goal.

I spent an hour looking up names of famous goats, frogs, cows and whatever but couldn’t come up with anything I liked better than “lamb chop” that also seemed like Fringo would say it. “mold-covered hamburger” didn’t quite fit the emotional context or the space and “puke minotaur” also didn’t fit the space. The space was set initially with “moldovan.” “Capricorn” didn’t seem insulting but “crapicorn” seemed out of character. I like “sagittarius” but then it just looks like I messed up and if I were lacking for true errors then I could get through the text portion of these updates much faster.

I did not know how to draw bicycles before this section, and as it has progressed I somehow got worse at it than when I started. Hopefully I will never have to draw them again but unfortunately I like the gnomes. Maybe they can get a van to travel in.

If I start describing myself as “creator of comic BIMSHWEL” will it trick people into thinking I am legitimate, and therefore gain the attention of people who demand advance guarantee of legitimacy? I do not need to disclose that it is not a job anyone else was vying for.

August 2, 2013
In spring 1966, Mr. Clean offered clean and shine, in the “Mr. Clean leaves a sheen where you clean” campaign. He grew whiskers for brute strength, had a black eye to show floor “shiner” and testified in court against dirt.

I was in France. Now I am not. It is rather difficult to sum up in a way that would be entertaining or relevant to bimshwel, and certainly not both. Here then is something that I wrote before I left.

Fish with sunglasses or a mustache. I suppose this isn’t something I “wrote” so much as “deemed adequately strange as to be consistent with past site content.”

this is a real movie? I would have thought that was a lonely island sketch but the corny white guy isn’t wearing sunglasses.
We bought a ZOO y’all! We’ve got ANIMALS and stuff! We’re acting really HARD CORE about RANDOM MUNDANE THINGS and this will NEVER GET OLD!

I’m a BIMSHWEL entry y’all! I’m really BITTER about my lack of gimmicky popularity so I find REASONS to complain about anyone who HAS it!

and donald duck is officially as classy as a beer advertisement.

Hence the proud strut in this related scene, I suppose. In fact only one of them seems at all uncomfortable about appearing here…

But I guess he got over it because he seems to have tossed off his clothes and is presumably running around naked somewhere near.
Oh that’s “cafe mickey,” apparently, at the free entry section of Parcs Disneyland where I met Titash from the internet. I didn’t actually eat in that place or have time to go inside and so didn’t consider what sort of business endeavor decorates itself with discarded garments. In search of food I would never enter such a place. I prefer the food to be naked, certainly, but I doubt badly drawn anthropomorph mice are on the menu, which means they are probably doing the serving and I do not desire service from them.

Nor did I eat at the Hunter’s Lodge all [I] can eat Bambi Buffet. I think the culinary-conscious French took the wrong message from that film. Maybe Disneyland Paris also has a petting zoo where visitors are encouraged to jeer at baby elephants while feeding them liquor.

No, I ate at Earl of Sandwich USA (since 1762 since 2004). Even though it was in France and named after somebody English.
This object buzzes when your sandwich is ready to be retrieved. That is all it does. Logically it should be about the size and weight of a hockey puck. It is not a drink coaster. It must be returned when the sandwich is fetched and the table is made of grey metal that would not be sensitive to minor liquid abrasion anyway.

I had thought “gosh what an uncreative gimmick for a restaurant” but evidently the place was indeed started by the present Earl of Sandwich. Also the inventor of Planet Hollywood, whose name is Earl (I cannot guarantee that he has a mustache). So you see it makes perfect sense. Earl probably got drunk one day and proclaimed “hey wouldn’t it be neat if the actual earl of sandwich had a sandwich joint? Hey I’m a millionaire! I can call him up!” And then the fellow went along with it, even though as a direct descendent he ought to know that his ancestor merely popularized the existent but nameless “bread and meat” of the lower class by consuming it in the presence of other nobles, and that putting a birth date on it or implying that this 9-year-old snack shack chain employs precious family recipes is absurd.

And yet the sandwiches are wrapped in SOLID GOLD, so there must be something special about them.

How about that. I said I didn’t have time to talk about France and I did anyway. Perhaps this can work.

Or perhaps it is through working.

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: July 20, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
instead of dopesona i recommend “dopes oh no” to let everyone know to keep away from...
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Fantastic! I’ve been meaning to make a “dope-sona”, but why stop there when I can *become*...
July 11, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
It does help that part 2 is a better game with generally more logical clues, and consequently...
July 9, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
I seem to no longer have the video file on my present hard drive but I took the screenshot at may...
July 9, 2021
A hooberdoober sez:
I would imagine the purpose of the multiple, differently-angled belts in the second image is...
July 8, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
because it is grey now
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