can it be mere coincidence that Tucky Carlson was terminated from Fox News only days after I linked him to mortimewde stapleton meepmire? Yes, but I shall pretend otherwise until I can get meepmire somehow terminated from existence.
hey look it’s
Worst Selling Video Games volume 7
bravely default on your mortgage
a boy and his job
bengazi warriors
david crane’s amazing dentist
stop & shop’n music
space partitioners
super smash bronchitis
profoundly mediocre giana sisters
the guardian nemitz
shining whores
phonograph recca
schtickmaster
charlie cristalis
marvel super sneeros
fantastic dentures of dizzy
bad dudes vs good dudes
papal mario
super mario land 2: six geese-a-laying
Hey Punk! Are you MARK A RUFFALO
uncharted wafers
road trash
nobunaga’s air conditioner
argylevania 2: simon’s sweatervest
catch it and spank
lode punner
kuros: delusions of grandeur
jazz jack
chortle kombat
simshanty
shitty connection
aghast ninja
nincompoop gaiden
shinobee 52
revolution eggs
arby’s baseball
yie arby’s kungfood
Rygarby’s
Jackie Chan’s Action Tomfoolery
sylvan failure
desert strike: return to the picket line
blake scab: planet strikebreaker
Bubblo the Relaxobath
bubble bible
Chrono Sauce
part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
part 5
part 6 I can’t believe I used Five Weekends at Bernie’s already
part 8 comes after this one!
yes let us all celebrate women’s sports. I don’t have an interest in men’s sports either
–unless racing randomized versions of old final fantasies counts as a sport, and it probably shouldn’t.–
and find men’s sports’ media saturation obscene even without any proximity to people who do watch them, so they ought to be held in equal esteem to womens’, sure. However I don’t think giving the Cracker Jack kid a drag makeover is going to accomplish anything except alienate old people who learn about this via the fox news outrage vine or a surrogate and I have never seen a young person eating this stuff nor heard one mention it outside the context of the Take me out Ballgame song, and definitely not recently.
you know what else isn’t helping women
if you can’t make “women” character without putting big lips and ludicrous eyelashes on them then you aren’t flipping any quos regardless of what kind of shoes you put on them. In fact obsessing over their shoes is even quoier. To the brand’s credit, I finally saw its actual announcement and it DOESN’T MENTION the dingdang shoes.
foremost Tucker “couldn’t REALLY be worse than Sean Hannity, right?” Carlson, akkka the world’s second worst use of a bowtie, who LOOKED at the 1 minute video in which the characters don’t even appear until after a 45 second long corporate hokewave, and NOTICED the shoe changes and made a fuss over it, and then arguably more legitimate journalists fussed over that fuss.
and this garbage, I only found today when trying to find proof of the previous thing I linked to, which, again, was primarily evident through terrible “news” articles being written about it. But in this case there is no defense to be made of the source ditzinformation; everything about it is stupid. “We didn’t think anyone would notice” is a profoundly disingenuous statement; it was ALL meant to be noticed, just with better balance. and apart from the disingenuity of the statement that the “spokescandies” were taking a “pause,” it isn’t even true, because it was put out in January and I still see these awful things all over the place. Well gosh they weren’t even paused within the context of that picture of text.
I am an enthusiast of discounted holiday candy; generally that is the only time m&ms cost little enough relative to other bad American candy that I will consider buying them, and I came into possession of this one this very month, and there’s smugsa verde right on the bag. It must be noted though that the creature appears to lack feet entirely on this occasion.
And as tacky as the feminizing is, the red one is still the worst character because it is still the default character and it still has no character. It might have been on the bag of “m&ms eggs” I also bought and that tasted almost exactly the same as the hershey brand “eggs” and neither was as good as the cadbury eggs that weren’t available because people actually bought those before they went on sale.
I am so hyper aware of this because *I* like to draw garbage like this too. Little enough that it didn’t need to be mentioned back when I first started griping about how lazy it is from a design perspective but it became a bigger problem. Generally problems do not get smaller around here; even the smaller monitor with a dope on it in this entry’s second picture is in fact my PRIMARY monitor.
this picture actually immediately preceded this one of the world’s worst use of a bowtie three years ago. I never show these sorts of “characters” here or in my major personal projects because i KNOW the designs are stereotyped tacky trash. And consequently people assume all my neutrally-defined characters are he him male and that I must want to look at phalluses and characters which have phalluses and those are the only things they want me to draw. Because most people are idiots. And you already knew that. And so did I. Why are we here? All this could be avoided if I simply learned to stop needing to eat and thus no longer needed to visit grocery stores. I tried but I only got about 3 videos into the tutorial series.
a suspicious drawing of sherry the talking mouse from several Ultima games abusing gargoyles with their own boomerang
I always liked the Gameboy game Ultima: Runes of Virtue. Attempts to directly port regular Ultima games to consoles felt unfinished and misguided, beyond even the degree to which the original non-sequel Ultima did, but Runes of Virtue was a specially crafted Gameboy action puzzle adventure perfect for the short play sessions that Gameboy was specially suited to.
DESPITE the very stupid dance that Sherry does at all times.
In frap it was only this past month that I saw enough of Ultima 6 to realize Runes of Virtue directly follows it, as back when I played Ultima: The False Prophet, its super nintendo port, I found it less unfair than Ultima Exodus, also a Nintendo system port and the only other game in the series I had tried, but still too unclear in its goals to get very far in. Nintendo versions hiding the title numbers didn’t help. BUT recognizing a bunch of the character names and concepts from Runes of Virtue helped me appreciate what I could of it slightly more than I would have otherwise. Certainly more than if I had known of and played the bewildering nes port of Ultima 5 instead.
Though it turns out to be the most accurate and playable Nintendo system Ultima port, that still was not enough for me to crack, apparently. Perhaps its most egregious offense of is presenting Sherry as an isolated-use item whose only purpose is retrieving a single essential item and optionally running under locked gates to steal other treasures or move switches, provided you think to try that,
and who inherits the hero’s neon green poison aura when deployed if you happen to have one available
rather than a fully functioning combat party member whose 1 strength allows her to only wield the likes of a boomerang, but with 27 dexterity, out of a maximum of 30, for deadly accuracy.
I actually have a legal copy of this game and apparently generated a character in it years ago, probably around the time that I regretted playing ultima 1, without going any further, and imagined it should be pretty easy to get to the same place the youtube video was at and take my own screenshots, since youtube pictures are ugly and the person whose video I took those from is an irritating bonehead anyhow. As hokey and annoying as Ultima is, I appreciate the progress it made across a few years and the influence even the shoddy ones had on better games, and reserve the right to laugh at them on my own terms, without condemning them. Some dork reading all the dialog aloud, stuttering half the time, and constantly interjecting snarky comments and complaining about how it is different and better in Ultima 7 makes it take longer and also me to hate him more than the video game he is suffering/cheating through.
But I was today unprepared for how irritating it also was to control Ultima VI even on its intended platform and how infrequently attacks connect even with high dexterity (though more so than without), so I could not easily recreate the scene. But I had already made the dumb drawing so felt obligated to try for longer than was sensible. I thought eh it can’t be THAT hard. I just need to kill ONE big gargoyle out here to have an unblurry picture of its body on the ground and then I can edit the text to say that Sherry did it.
sensing my unvirtuous inclination, an invisible doppelganger of the king Lord British with no property except raw scorn suddenly got a turn and crashed the game when I tried to enter a command and then stared at me disapprovingly until I forced dosbox to quit
The news just gets worse. The highest court in the country is taking bribes from a collector of Hitler Memorabilia, the threat of war with china and russia or possibly ourselves rises again, despite unprecedented climate disasters still nobody with power cares about stopping them. And direst of all?
dopes with glasses! That’s it, life has no meaning. We can never recover from this. I might as well
dopes with glasses and hats!
Truly awful. I can tell these things “think” they are scholars among dopes, and they are probably the dumbest dopes of all time! Not like me. I do useful things with MY life.