December 21, 2009


I am not sure what is going on here. It may be a while before I do.

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I have so many messages to write to people, but all I want to do is make love to you. I mean… something else, right? At any rate, whatever it is isn’t productive.

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People who get gifts love to type out detailed descriptions of their gifts. The very idea strikes me as being very tiring. Almost as tiring as it is to read such lists. At least the junk I put here I don’t realize is tiring until I’ve already invested too much into it to not finish it.

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Why should I be impressed by any “future” that still includes manually adjusted neck ties? Where are the giant robot helmets and gauntlets? Where are the silver wetsuits as normal clothing? How about magnetic boots that magically hold your body completely steady and horizontal when you walk up a wall? The only astounding thing on display here is an electric crane that holds what appears to be a chalkboard eraser. Next they should invent a computer that automatically replaces the paper in my typewriter. Or just holds the paper up so that I can grab it and replace it myself. What? You’re kidding!

Well. And as for Conan

he has to be Archie AND Ozark Ike, so I can excuse one dopey endorsement deal.

ONE I said. Yeep. You were off television, for what, three months? Conan, sometimes you just need to take a break.


Like, whatever, man. Why’s Conan talking to THIS rube ovah heeyah?



Wuh whoa! I just realized I’M on tv, too! Woooooo yeah! I got my fake-retro prefaded Ghostbusters shirt and my RED SWEATPANTS on camera! Muh- muh- muh- METAL! Ninja surviiiiiiiiiive!

Eh. I suppose that’s better than KILLING me…


You know what, I hate ninjas.

Ninjas have gone soft. I remember when being a ninja MEANT somehing. A long time ago, in the glory days of ninja. Specifically, the 1980s. When to stop the shadowy killing machine of the east took nothing less than a…

AHHHH, BIRDS! BIRDS! GET THEM AWAY FROM ME! ABBBBBAAAAAAA!!!




5 Responses
  1. 1
    6:02 am, December 25, 2009

    Christmas carolers sez:

    Here comes Santy Clawrs,
    Here comes Santy Clawrs,
    Right down Santy Clawrs lane…

    Blixen and Nixon and all his boys
    Spring Christmas joys agaaaaain…

    Bells are ringing, children singing,
    About his Aryan pride…

    So stay in bed and shave your head,
    ‘Cause Santy Clawrs comes tonight.

  2. 2
    10:44 pm, December 26, 2009

    Umpulurgit sez:

    You should be commended for your efforts. Yes, definitely, any day now.

  3. 3
    12:52 am, December 29, 2009

    Pigbuster sez:

    On seeing the picture of the reclining dope(s), I found myself instinctively saying “aww”. The full implications of this remain to be seen, but I doubt they can be anything but unfortunate.

  4. 4
    1:19 am, December 29, 2009

    A turnkey sez:

    I, on the other hand, expected better of Pog than to hang out with that sort of crowd.

  5. 5
    8:37 pm, December 30, 2009

    Umpulurgit sez:

    How dare you acknowledge that temporary non-update! Now I have to leave it there!

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