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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
March 12, 2024
Social media users pointed out that at one point in the call the sound of a flushing toilet could be heard, suggesting the dangers of teleconferencing can also affect America’s highest court.


one of those funny things I sometimes find, possibly deliberately left in a conspicuous place so I will see it, while sharing a home with a child who attends a public school. I do not understand why this duck considers itself fully dressed in a coat and a stupid hat but requires swim trunk garb otherwise. A snorkle however I consider a valid fashion choice.

As always I take issue with cartoon duck as rendered by someone who has never seen non-cartoon ducks. Perhaps this is what a turducken looks like in the wild.


good job saving water, but can we talk about your toothpaste wasting? You shouldn’t even HAVE teeth, dumb bird!


more importantly, what is in this duck’s toilet, what did this duck EAT that smells SO bad that calls for both nose pinching and this worried expression? this is why they shouldn’t have teeth. they have no self restraint.
you might feel compelled to go further and declare that ducks should not have toilets but plainly whatever is in this one is an environmental hazard that transcends conventional natural disposal.
the duck dresses more appropriately for space travel but has obviously stole someone else’s body.

the company who put these out have rather a slew of unscientifically drawn characters who want children to think more realistically, and also shouldn’t have teeth.

And ALSO mess around with toilets but this one seems more in control about it.


that’s great duck. Now we know has breaking into homes and neon-coloring people’s toilet water lately. I thought this garb was foolish but “wendell” seems much less afraid of toilets while wearing it, with and without buttons, not even enormous toilets with unfathomably complex plumbing.


according to videos too many of which seem to have been uploaded by the same guy, wendell rather resembles the 3d character used to market toilet duck products in countries which thankfully, to my knowledge, aren’t this one, but more because this is an extremely lazy design than because Project Energy Savers LLC ripped off SC Johnson [a family company].


there is also another package with the duck again, more consistently dressed but still utterly dismayed by excremental affairs. This is a coloring book, yiokes


fiddle deep feep enough about toilets! that’s probably why the original artist quit and got replaced by a terrible adobe illustrator hobbyist. note that penelope/wendell wearing a wig and false eyelashes is wasting water in this picture.

in yet another booklet, wendell flagrantly mocks the no shirt no shoes rule, and is talking about toilets again, concerned that one of us might be drinking out of it. the sole human being i have seen up this point looks uncomfortable with the size discrepancy here. Even the medication bottles are at unnatural scale. Why am I worried that they contain unsolicited stool samples?


in another picture the duck has seemingly stolen a human body’s proportions to wear a space suit, but if the duck is so substantially larger than a human, who was this space suit made for? Why is the american flag emblem on it backwards? Ultimately this does not matter since the space suit isn’t tethered to anything and this duck is going to drift helplessly and die in outer space if more competent parties do not intervene.


Leaving this interloper free to waste water and whatever else


this is getting too dangerous for me.



February 6, 2024
Formerly the son of a wealthy Yorkshire businessman, he’s since turned into a strange mix between man and red fox.

regarding some distressing imagery I have mostly had on my hard drive since 2012:


Tails HAS to stay outside. Tails is not ALLOWED in the house on Christmas.


it is imperative to keep tails as far away from your drink as possible, especially if tails is wearing a bowtie.


do not exert yourself to help tails out of peril, no matter how corny his facial expression gets; tails can FLY and is just doing this for attention.


do not follows tails’ instructions. tails is not a member of the technical support team. Tails has been cursed for his deeds and imprisoned inside the computer. If you do what he tells you there is a risk of transferring the curse to yourself. if you must talk to tails do it by telephone, away from your keyboard, or at least while wearing protective gloves that prevent precision key presses.


be sure to keep those gloves on when disciplining tails since foxes, even meeply ones, are known to carry rabies.


trying to gain retribution against tails by blocking his vision in an aircraft will needlessly endanger yourself and not affect tails since he doesn’t look where he is going anyhow. also as has been previously noted, tails can FLY without aid of a vehicle.


tails is not even authorized to pilot mine carts.


also do not respond if tails attempts to pull you over in your own aircraft. tails flunked out of sky patrol academy. if he shows you a badge it is counterfeit. regardless of the lettering on display,

tails is in fact illegal in japan. do not be fooled!


tails also cannot dance. reports are yet unconfirmed as to whether he will steal your money but I think it is safe to assume that you should not give him any.

ALSO unrelated to tails but if you listen to that song, cut it off after the second verse; that chorus is NOT good enough to hear twelve times

and as weird as the video is, Will Vinton studio isn’t creative enough beyond the novelty of using clay to to do anything but simply animate mouths in increasingly creepy ways if there are no further written instructions.
is there anything else to be concerned about?

no I absolutely REFUSE to acknowledge this



April 21, 2023
He is helped when he gets the ability to hear women’s thoughts due to a freak accident. The film is about strong women and shows what women are capable of doing.


yes let us all celebrate women’s sports. I don’t have an interest in men’s sports either

–unless racing randomized versions of old final fantasies counts as a sport, and it probably shouldn’t.–
and find men’s sports’ media saturation obscene even without any proximity to people who do watch them, so they ought to be held in equal esteem to womens’, sure. However I don’t think giving the Cracker Jack kid a drag makeover is going to accomplish anything except alienate old people who learn about this via the fox news outrage vine or a surrogate and I have never seen a young person eating this stuff nor heard one mention it outside the context of the Take me out Ballgame song, and definitely not recently.
you know what else isn’t helping women

if you can’t make “women” character without putting big lips and ludicrous eyelashes on them then you aren’t flipping any quos regardless of what kind of shoes you put on them. In fact obsessing over their shoes is even quoier. To the brand’s credit, I finally saw its actual announcement and it DOESN’T MENTION the dingdang shoes.

It mentions a lot of other eye rolling ludicrosity like “signature jester wit” and the gosh darn ampersand but it was entirely dork journalists,


foremost Tucker “couldn’t REALLY be worse than Sean Hannity, right?” Carlson, akkka the world’s second worst use of a bowtie, who LOOKED at the 1 minute video in which the characters don’t even appear until after a 45 second long corporate hokewave, and NOTICED the shoe changes and made a fuss over it, and then arguably more legitimate journalists fussed over that fuss.


and this garbage, I only found today when trying to find proof of the previous thing I linked to, which, again, was primarily evident through terrible “news” articles being written about it. But in this case there is no defense to be made of the source ditzinformation; everything about it is stupid. “We didn’t think anyone would notice” is a profoundly disingenuous statement; it was ALL meant to be noticed, just with better balance. and apart from the disingenuity of the statement that the “spokescandies” were taking a “pause,” it isn’t even true, because it was put out in January and I still see these awful things all over the place. Well gosh they weren’t even paused within the context of that picture of text.

I am an enthusiast of discounted holiday candy; generally that is the only time m&ms cost little enough relative to other bad American candy that I will consider buying them, and I came into possession of this one this very month, and there’s smugsa verde right on the bag. It must be noted though that the creature appears to lack feet entirely on this occasion.

And as tacky as the feminizing is, the red one is still the worst character because it is still the default character and it still has no character. It might have been on the bag of “m&ms eggs” I also bought and that tasted almost exactly the same as the hershey brand “eggs” and neither was as good as the cadbury eggs that weren’t available because people actually bought those before they went on sale.

I am so hyper aware of this because *I* like to draw garbage like this too. Little enough that it didn’t need to be mentioned back when I first started griping about how lazy it is from a design perspective but it became a bigger problem. Generally problems do not get smaller around here; even the smaller monitor with a dope on it in this entry’s second picture is in fact my PRIMARY monitor.


this picture actually immediately preceded this one of the world’s worst use of a bowtie three years ago. I never show these sorts of “characters” here or in my major personal projects because i KNOW the designs are stereotyped tacky trash. And consequently people assume all my neutrally-defined characters are he him male and that I must want to look at phalluses and characters which have phalluses and those are the only things they want me to draw. Because most people are idiots. And you already knew that. And so did I. Why are we here? All this could be avoided if I simply learned to stop needing to eat and thus no longer needed to visit grocery stores. I tried but I only got about 3 videos into the tutorial series.



January 31, 2023
Kwirk is a puzzle-game, in which you have to help a tomato reach the exit of numerous levels.


A clear sign Big-Y is a Connecticut and Massachusetts-only supermarket; if Kroger or Food Lion had a Kids Fruit Club that would be cited as proof of child grooming and republican governors across the nation would race to issue condemnations of it and proactively try to pass laws against it
naturally just [yesterday] I saw this


which IS in Connecticut, but the ludicrous conservative backlash to the name led to a bigger back-backlash that gave the store so much business that it ran out of stuff to sell. In Florida or Texas it might have had angry protestors outside demanding that the employees release fictional juvenile hostages and then a week later everyone inside and out would have covid.


still I am concerned that Big Y is getting so comfortable with these mutants

and worse, the mutants are getting comfortable themselves.

why don’t we just throw a beach party for them!

this is beside the point but I am fascinated that this game’s title screen is a redraw of its weird box-art; generally Japanese video games with weird United States box art don’t have their title screens updated to match it, except to alter logos. Also despite the weird cropping to allow the text to appear the picture overall looks less weird. although the tree is duplicated, the texture on the sand is questionable and the banana looks amidst a prophylactic demonstration, the artist treated the sun as a light source rather than another piece of fruit, and the figures themselves look less like there is stuff wrong with them, which to me is of foremost importance.

especially THIS creep, that looks less like it is surfing than “he went that-a-way!”ing while squatting behind a stair with bacon on it. Someone even thought it was good enough to put on the side of the box as well! It was not. There (here) it appears to be concerned about trademarking but unable to leave its post plugging a dike leak.

It might help to contrast this with the original Japanese box-art that is strikingly dissimilar to both its own title screen and this, but I decline to on account of it including a depiction of the grapes-themed boss foe that I find aesthetically unpleasant for reasons that are beyond the scope of this web page. Additionally that Japan Super Famicom box-art is dissimilar to the Japan game boy version’s box art, which would need to be contrasted with the fact of US editions of both using the same box-art despite differing in-game character designs, thereby explaining why the monkey only has a conspicuous tail in one of them, and all of these factors combine to really not be much help at all. Is there any expert in the field who COULD help?


oh WHAT?! I had no idea. Years ago this appeared on the zany video game quotes website, and I never knew or asked where it came from. I ASSUMED the graphic was for something remotely archie-related; the Archie Comics company published works on a few topics that weren’t strictly archie themed, such as ninja turtles and sonic t hedgehog. I didn’t guess it was in a video game magazine advertisement for a property other than those two, certainly not the monkey vs evil fruit game. Factually the sonic comics did not appear until after this but I had to look that up. I should not have had to look that up! This should never have happened! Had Archie been pondering video game comics before Sonic or does it merely mean Archie recommends throwing basketballs at food that has limbs and faces? Do I and Archie actually have common ground? What horror! Looking up the phrase “recommended by archie” now seems to indicate this endorsement was not offered to other products. Consulting the site’s founder likewise indicated the same source and that he had even scanned it himself.

and that is what me asking about it looked like. I did not really ask at 1:51am, however. Why is the time zone incorrect? And why did I think I needed to prove that I asked about this?

all in all a very stressful day! I had other pictures of stupid limbed fruit to show but now I am just upset.

Now I am more upset!


I don’t have to take this. I’m going home.



September 7, 2022
The bear in the coat of arms of Appenzell is represented pizzled, and omission of this feature was seen as a grave insult.


I saw this sign briefly, from a distance, while driving [some weeks ago] and was momentarily worried it portended the opening of

a Shoney’s in the area. you know bad news is afootly when I, me, worry about a buffet joint,

since I have a stomach of steel and a chemical resistance to 1.5-star yelp ratings. A contributor to my shoney disinclination, surely, is my long-held disdain for Shoney Bear. On the next occasion I mentioned shoney’s, I also took issue with the Shoney Bear.

just about the most generic “generic character” character there is. red shirt, blue pants, and the mouth always, ALWAYS open like that. A weird buckety scoop a fraction of the width of the upper part with an unsettling red bean cradled in it.

Note how the “updated” version still is fundamentally awful, just more modern digital corporately-executed awful. The previous artist had to learn how to write the stylistic text of the restaurant name into the drawings but this one probably just copy-pasted it. I would consider the brown pants just SLIGHTLY less boring than blue pants, but the addition of red mascot shoes and an ugly baseball hat pushes it from “funny animal,” with human traits but living in a vaguely defined wilderness area and doing childish things, to “furry,” essentially a regular person with an animal head who does boring things like go to school and play mobile games or just exist in a white void, which is worse. And STILL with the mouth like that.

and here is a picture of somebody else asking me about the darn bear. It really transcends the dining experience.


kids apparently abuse mascots in general, which would be great if actual humans being paid minimum wages, and apparently starving to death and struggling to sit upright didn’t have to directly inhabit their costumes, but I am inclined to wonder if kids hate Shoney Bear specifically, or if it was just me who did, and if not, why not?

that can’t be it; where I come from, people put up signs that evoke Shoney’s, and also write web pages about seeing those signs.
ALSO I am aware that historically Annie Oakley, a fictionalized version of which appears in the film still I just showed, comes from Ohio, a long way from Shoney’s origin zone of West Virginia, but historically Oakley wasn’t a prancing nitwit who lost a shooting contest to a man on purpose so 1950s American patriarchs wouldn’t feel threatened either so I can imagine the movie version came from Shoneyland.



July 23, 2022
Notably, in the cinematics between each round, Kirby is shown trash-talking his opponents in full sentences.

welcome to denver












I didn’t even know about these, I just now looked up “drunk airline passenger,” wondering if it supported my taking issue with the amount of alcohol ads in the airport, and found this many from within a month. If I worked on an airplane I would be furious to walk through the airport and see so much encouragement for passengers to blotto up prior to boarding. You can as well purchase alcohol on the airplane but the flight staff will have more direct awareness of who is getting it and how much, and people STILL get drunk off of that. And I have to think most of the time these incidents aren’t widely reported on or the drunk people quite insufferable enough to get the flight diverted. For example, on the flight which followed my seeing these a passenger near me ordered at least two little vodka bottles and got way too into family feud on the little television screen his seat forced him to look at. I was not HARMED by this but it sure was depressing. Although this makes me consider how many of the crummy movies advertised on these screens think they are being funny and I didn’t hear a single laugh that whole flight except after a baby started imitating

the trash-collecting flight attendant’s bored, droning calls of “traash… diggity traash…” while proceeding to the rear of the vessel. I missed the prime example but did manage to preserve the primary trash.
I noticed one other person nearby block the screen with the aircraft safety card, as I also had prior to realizing that the screen could be turned off by pressing the reduce brightness/OFF button about 15 times. Initially the button seems to do nothing at all. The controls are intuitively placed on the arm rest and not explained at any point. There is an equally unexplained headphone port on the narrow end of the armrest, which always faces away from passengers, and there isn’t space between it and the seat in front to ever navigate your head to a position where you could see it, and therefore it is totally invisible, and no headphones are provided anyway. Consequently numerous passengers just let the screen BRIGHTLY play the same ads –most prominently for the 300th “updated” version of Cinderella released in my lifetime– on a loop, [mercifully] silently for the whole four hour flight either because they don’t know how to operate the thing or just don’t want to bother with it. Also if you do manage to shut it off but then rest something on the armrest, like an arm, perhaps, the screen will go back on to full brightness and need fifteen more OFF presses to disable again. How is the electricity expenditure of this plus the innumerable electric billboards shilling wine and craft beer in the airport justified? It isn’t. Not here or anywhere else. We’ll just waste and drink and get advertised at, telling us to waste and drink and keep watching until the earth turns into massive ball of tar.
People watch bad tv and crummy movies on the screens because the screens are THERE but they don’t care. Or otherwise simply endure the screens’ presence because they have resigned themselves to sad choicelessness, and maybe that is a deliberate system to keep them paying for expensive expired poison and drinking it until they pass out or clobber someone. I should be GLAD this dork enjoyed families feuding so much and without hurting anyone else, except possibly my mother who had this guy’s seat reclined into hers from the beginning and occasionally bouncing around. But I’m not because it isn’t good, it is simply bad in a different way.

this isn’t selling beer but clearly every person involved with conceiving and producing it was inebriated, mentally challenged or both. You can’t just put the word “flight” any old place and have it work as a clever or even hacky pun. You might as well say racquetball of sausage or agatha of polenta. Also according to their website those three little pancakes cost $12.25 altogether, and the ones at the airport location definitely cost more than that. Or maybe they were only permitted to set up inside the airport because they were selling little pancakes for four dollars each.

And I know they are little because a plate shaped like a banana wouldn’t fit on their awkward circular tables unless it was of underwhelming proportions.
I’m kidding I have proof that the corned beef hash I ordered for $13.75 costs more than their website says it does, another $12.25, and twice as much as the local diner whose hash that was only as good as charges so the pancakes probably go similarly but I am tired of posting pictures of sad expensive places I didn’t want to be at.



March 9, 2022
ah well, thanks Cheatcodechamp and you too Orangeleopard1819 i’ll be more careful with the gift of lycanthropy

my life is screwy lately. not aggressive neighbor nation shooting bombs at my soviet-era concrete housing brick then telling me I am free to leave if I don’t like it but shooting at me as I try to leave screwy, but enough to make me confused. I didn’t get to my computer until 7pm yesterday, which through the simultaneous unannounced updating of the firefox internet perusing device and thunderbird email sorting mechanism plus a bizarre disk hiccup left me unable to access email nor be permitted to recreate the account through which I accessed it,


and then was greeted with this once the website browser finally decided it was ready to load pages.


There is a cartoon character that I cropped out of the image. it will appear in here later and I don’t want to look at it, much less in two places.

This is such an embarrassing attempt to pander to the adult child with money demographic that is hard enough coexist with when there isn’t media aping it. Or SHOULD I say “panda-ing” to and “foxing” it no.

Products do not have emotions and brands do not live “w/” anxiety. They do not “live” at all and they do not have feelings. Meanwhile anxiety has always existed, and just because people didn’t always personally introduce themselves with “um hi um gee I uhhh have anxiety I guess? ha ha blush norly sorry not sorry omg” doesn’t mean it’s new in people or in media.

Likewise Disney did not in 2022 invent Asians.I welcome non-Anglo heroes, but not every time there is one having that be incessantly pointed out like Look how BLACK this princess who turns into a frog is! and how ASIAN this quirky nerd who turns into an A.fulgens is! And how LATIN this grimacing also nerd’s whole magic house family is! And hey isn’t this huge-mouthed perpetually barefoot kid who turns into a fish just SUPER Mediterranean?

If you want to normalize multi-cultural identities in film you have to let them be normal, and let their presences speak for themselves.

yes I know barefoot kid is officially a fish person who turns into a human but in the end it doesn’t make much difference. these characters all relate to the world and other people the same way and aspire to the same things as all the white and casually non-white characters from American cartoons before them who may or may not spontaneously become animals if they aren’t already. And consequently I don’t relate to any of them, which allows me to see that each new iteration giving press-jobs to themselves over how different they are as gratingly disingenuous. AND ALSO, as indicated by the word being circled in red earlier, their RELATEability is their greatest asset. We don’t make movies for people who can’t relate to our characters because people buy merchandise of relatable characters, not good stories.

I do not know if the latest plot’s transformation is triggered by deliberately improbable circumstances like in Ranma or emotions like The Hulk or violent trauma like in The Pagemaster, and I don’t want to know, and am glad that I have not been made to know against my will by anyone in my company so far. But that is only because my niece for the time being is more interested in watching shorter-form braindead videos on her personal tablet than feature films on the big television box that I witness more easily. I increasingly have blocked disney-themed keywords on twitter-sorts of sites as it saturates more and more discourse space it isn’t entitled to, and maybe firefox picked up on that, both wanting to get disney bucks and prevent anyone from being unaware of it.



irefox isn’t bothering to lie about not advertising (apart from boasting about how “independent” it is), i suppose, with no attempt to explain how this trash is justified, unlike back in november when it promoted its VPN at me and presumably other users, and accompanied that with a message about how it doesn’t promote products. it did not attempt to convince me that promoting a disney movie is not promotion, but that could also be due to the general hubris concept that EVERYBODY likes Disneyandpixare so NOBODY WOULDN’T want to see an ad for it!

because LOOK at how GOSH DARN ADORABLE it is! except it isn’t even that. its face is tiny but its head is huge, its body is chubby and I literally can’t tell if this is the front or the back since it is so amorphous.

it looks like dom deluise’s character from the Fievel movies, except without discernible feet at the ends of its limbs because pixar artists are more inclined to fetishize human feet. The only thing I like about the newer character is that it doesn’t look like zootopia, and that is really more of a hate less sort of assessment.

when I was sixish years old a friend of my father gave my family a bunch of bootleg movies on vhs, including An American tale, but it didn’t have the opening credits and I couldn’t read anyway so for years I had no idea it was called that, and I still prefer not to call it that since the word “tale” always bothered me, even when not being punished into “tail” whenever there is an animal-related concept involved. Every episode of “are you afraid of the dark?” was “the tale of…” something or other. Even as a child unconcerned with what anyone else thought about anything the word and its pretentious air irked me.


the only way this film would defy expectations would be if it wasn’t annoying, and it already is. Defying stereotypes by announcing you are doing that is already a stereotype. Ever since princess Jasmin did a pole vault and then I had to look at how SURPRISED Aladdin was and hear the dumbest kids in the room who already saw the movie 50 times say “I’m a fast learner” in synchronization, Disney has been pushing this “look at our TOUGH and competent ladies!” narrative without simply letting them BE tough or competent, and still selling merchandise emphasizing their prettiness foremost. And much like with the racial composition of the characters, if you simply let that BE normal you won’t rile up the rightwing bro brigade to try and ruin the product based on how “woke” they perceive it to be. But I think that is also deliberate, to some degree, like with the shoddy ghostbusters movie some years back, or Black Panther or Captain Marvel. It’s GREAT publicity if you can prove a bunch of morons are trying to pre-emptively censor your product, and also allows you to dismiss any legitimate criticism as coming from that moron bunch. I am not a moron bunch! I am but one moron. Evidently. I think I had mild covid in january and apparently it is related to “grey matter reduction” so I am stupid now, but still not enough to be fooled by disney.

ALso don’t ask me what the gwok a vpn is because I am still not sure despite evidently first trying to find out in 2015. I couldn’t even figure out what the letters stood for. Virtual Private Network but that is no longer relevant to my situation. Using one is supposed to protect you from being caught if you pirate stuff or be tracked by marketers trying to charge you extra money for what you acquire more legitimately, but then you have to pay to get the vpn, and everybody selling one is vague and unclear about every step of it, often using mismatched figures and paper towel math to explain their prices and or requiring longterm subscription agreements, and it comes across like scam marketing in itself. ESPECIALLY when the company selling the vpn is also getting money from the company controlling most of the media and marketing, including subscription services. Imagine you use the firefox vpn to download the “turning red” film –i won’t, hence this scenarior being imaginary– the dollars probably go to the same place, and then they’ll also try to fine you $5000 for piracy in the event the vpn isn’t the magnificent sorcery it purports itself to be.

After I started writing today’s page, firefox stopped working entirely, with this error among others, like it thinks I’m going to apologize and say “wait the image wasn’t THAT bad, come back, please?” I expect it already has its own angry post about how it blocked another hater and it doesn’t even care about all the haters it keeps mentioning. It reminds me that I started using firefox years ago after netscape was purchased by the america online company, and it become bloated and unusable. Since all software is bloated now and Disney for the moment does not desire to own firefox, which is evident through disney not already owning firefox, it settled for simply becoming unusable.
I am for the moment using a very similar browser called Libre Wolf that fulfills the basic criteria of displaying webpages and having a stupid animal name. If it goes well then I will absolutely not say so.


thanksh narc. I’m embracing my true self by not trusting opinions from strangers with memes and declining to watch it while I yet have the freedom not to.

/////////////////////////

addendoy for march 13:
entirely unsought bits of information on twitter from people who say things like “not gonna lie” and “bro” indicate that menstruation is what causes the gimmick transformation this time, hence the “red” in the title, and isn’t it PROGRESSIVE that d-d-d-DIZNEE would DARE to do this? Yeh whatever similarly unrequested data indicates that disney declined to release a Ghibli movie from 1991 that it had rights to over the film having menstruation references in it. Because if Disney doesn’t do something first it doesn’t count. Meanwhile the obnoxious firing squad of bullet points firefox showed me did not include “bleeds from vulvic orifice” and I have to see


this grating smugster stupidimposed on my roku front page, trying to get kids to watch it, with no indication that sort of topic is going to come up, and if anyone in my family is going to have a problem with that it would be my mother foremost, and not “men” as twitter’s insufferablest disney shills prefer to gripe. Whatever I am, that is content to dislike this at any time of the month. I don’t consider the mere allusion to blood as unpleasant as having to hear and often “see” flatulence in every cartoon since Ren & Stimpy 30 years ago but I’m not going to praise big D for doing it either as all signs indicate the production is utterly typical apart from that.



December 5, 2021
In one scene, the puppies enter a snow cave, seeking advice from a wise old husky. The cave was made of Styrofoam.

because this is what i have this week


I had this on an audio cassette tape a life ago, and had occasion to think of it earlier while dispensing decorative shiny objects about the immediate premises. I have attempted to look it up in the past and had no success, but THIS time found that this very October somebody uploaded them to the you tube, on an account that has existed since 2007 with apparently no other content.

as if to say, I’m not going down for the cartoon dog christmas album but I believe the time has come for the world to know about it.


oddly enough his other account only has TWO videos, one of which is just an Ugly Luigi meme, even though as far as I know more lawsuits have been threatened over nintendo junk than the ding danged pound puppies, but one way or another if one gets taken out the other will survive and have a chance to flee to safety.
the songs also have comments disabled, to ensure nobody starts snooping around asking questions.

questions like: “why did you feel it was necessary to kid-designate and thus comment-block this 36-year old christmas album that has probably more tracks on it than people who have heard of it who still remember it who would bother to go looking for it who are most of a certainty older than it?” or “why did you spell rudolph like that?”
or more to the point

“what happen?”

expanding the description reveals more of Volcano’s concern that he has put himself at risk with this caged canid caroling. He even put the dumb ™ in the text, twice, for fleep’s beeps. I want to send a message to tell him he missed a few. but I can’t.

I don’t want to hear this album again. But I feel like I must. It is my earliest memory of some of the songs on it, named “beginning to look a lot like christmas” and “my favorite things,” although it still doesn’t strike me as much of a christmas song. But these were early enough memories that I don’t remember watching the cartoon that I presumably had been a fan of. I ordinarily avoid the word “fan;” I watched the smurfs as a child just because it was on but I have no memory of ever liking them. I don’t remember LIKING pound puppies either but I definitely had their dumb christmas album and one of the dolls so i must have expressed fondness for the product line.

In particular “the night before christmas” is presented as a song and the dumb tune always stuck with me even though I have not heard it elsewhere, and “We wish you a merry christmas” has disco instrumentation in it that it ordinarily lacks. also lots of howling.

I most definitely don’t want anyone else to hear me hearing this. But I also don’t want to hear it in absolute clarity with headphones. Maybe I can use some “AM radio with static” audio filter to take the edge off.

I also recall that even as a small child I was put off by the dorky dialog accompanying the rudolph section. I have absolutely no recollection of the title track Jingle Bells, and only a few minutes ago determined that was the NAME of the album. In my lifelong naivete I imagined it was simply called “The Pound Puppies Christmas Album” rather than “Pound Puppies Jingle Bells” which sounds more like a euphemism for an outmoded neutering technique.

……

alright, I listened to it. Pretty dumb, but not the most embarrassing thing I have ever heard as an adultish sized human. None of the songs t cause me psychological distress like the “in summer” and “fixer upper” songs from frozen do, although perhaps they would were i forced to listen against my will, on multiple occasions, and knowing the production was almost universally acclaimed. I do in fact recognize the piano intro to Jingle Bells, which I mentally had swapped with a version I heard at a “christmas concert” in middle school. It includes the line “bells and telephones ring,” WHICH may at last explain why “bells on bobtails” never sounded right to me, even now. because the POUND PUPPIES LIED TO ME. it also includes a completely barked instance of the chorus, presumably inspired by the atrocious “singing dogs” novelty records from the 1950s. in fact every song has at least one barked chorus and a few altered lines in it –often referring to wanting to be adopted, because don’t forget these are POUND puppies, strays picked up off the street scheduled to be murdered if not taken out in time, as their parents before them surely already were, and rather unpleasantly too, this predating the Humane Euthanasia Act of 1990, the usual children’s entertainment fare– but I can’t always tell what the altered lines ARE, though I couldn’t always tell what they were before.


the official album title does indeed indicate that barking will be present in tiny, diagonally offset but elegant letters, which presumably won’t be noticed by most people until long after they have already heard the barking, and who consequently ought to at least appreciate the relative fanciness of the italic font.

even stranger: I eventually realized that this product predates the cartoon. The album artwork shows relatively non-anthropomorphized dogs more like the stuffed dolls than the bipedal only-ladies-have-hair-on-top-of-their-fur Hanna Barbera designs. Which means this is literally adults singing and yelping in weird voices, not as specific characters. And apart from the producer and “art director” I can’t find any credits!

only some goober trying to sell a copy signed by some of the cartoon’s voice actors, including Joanne Worley, whom wikehhhpedia tells me was not involved with the tv series that the other three were, only a made-for-tv “movie” that predated it, which the other three weren’t in, so it makes no sense for them to have sang on the same album, which makes me think none of them did. The seller’s text claiming they did also refers to songs by incorrect titles and follows it with a 98% irrelevant copy-pasted biography of Nancy Cartwright which is a majority of the text on the page.

please don’t attempt to read that, this is simply to prove that it exists! Mr. Electric Volcano was preoccupied with copyrights but Canaromorubu cares only for Cartwrights.


Do you think 85-year-old Ruth “Two Scoops a’ Truth” Buzzi remembers what every dumb cartoon for which she recorded a voice looks like? She might have thought oh yeah I did the pound puppies show a few decades ago, sure I’ll sign that without considering: But I didn’t SING as one. unless following up with …Right? Eh maybe I did. I definitely sang with muppets

Perhaps I even pounded puppies with them.

they may be beyond help.



November 25, 2020
“We know he broke some part of the Federal Aviation Act, and as soon as we decide which part it is, some type of charge will be filed. If he had a pilot’s license, we’d suspend that, but he doesn’t.”


aw naw blippy.
according to legend, recently my mother Thorax was shopping with my slightly-less-recently-turned-six-years-old niece Violin and pointed out this display, then Violin said something like “i don’t like Blippi anymore.” Thorax responded “well maybe it is something for littler kids” and then Violin said “NO, it’s for ALL kids.” However neither turns out to be true, for the boxes here all say

“Not for children under 3 years.” You are either meant to blatantly ignore the safety guidelines associated with this screeching preaching hyperactew or encourage children old enough to know better to partake of his offerings.
I first became aware of blipson 1-3 years ago at a time when Violin was perhaps just entering the target range of these toys and fortunately either they weren’t available or we simply had not come across any. Unfortunately his videos were in ample supply and I had my fill surprisingly quickly, even beside a child who watched the utterly braindead and marketer-approved “baby shark” on a loop. blippo is extraordinarily annoying and creepy. He tries to put forth an “educational” image but it is fake. Even these boxes say “collect them all,” which is a fundamentally uneducational thing to encourage anybody to do at any age.


It seems that many adults also think he was/is creepy but cannot articulate why. I can. I just never had a justification to until he appeared in real space that I potentially have access to. He is creepy because he is phony and gross. Even before I knew he was a shill for mass-produced landfill filler I thought that, though that helps me put it better in perspective. That guy looks like he smells like human fecal matter and apple juice. Largely due to the combination of neon plastic clothes like kids wore in the early 1990s but the full grown man body and the fact that he is never ever fully shaven and his mouth never fully closed. he looks like a mentally disabled adult. which isn’t a crime but I was in special education, as a student, for a long time, and this guy reminds me of some of the more tragic cases, except it’s totally deliberate. including the attire like a parent chose and applied it, the ugly hat that looks like a helmet and worst of all the facial hair. That cartoon drawing of him makes sure to color in the place where his beardling is in a slightly darker color. Not a real beard, just light annoying hair so that he looks dirty. it reminds me of when somebody uses scissors to cut the tag off of blankets or cushions instead of removing the stitching, so there is always tag residue and it is worse than the full tag being there because I KNOW it is there but it can hide. I don’t want to worry about Blippy hiding in my bed when I stay at a motel.
The writer of that other piece annoyed by blippi concedes “He’s wholesome” but he isn’t! He is bad. He’s even named after the sound of swear words being covered up on broadcast television. In actual video blechhi is loud and obnoxious, and again it is totally deliberate and calculated. I think hating something for being deliberately annoying is valid. Even if an annoying thing has ostensibly educational goals. It is not socially educational. Nobody should aspire to act how he acts. And the guy is maybe educational about one tenth of the time, and just being a noisy jackass the rest of the time. The contradictions are maddening. He is childlike but built like some creep who got drunk at your house and passed out on your couch. he is exuberant and innocent yet condescending if you have soda in your house. He is utterly amasculine, but with that ugly forced mini-beard like he is a stock photo of a “rebel entrepreneur,” while dressed and talking like

Tony Barbieri, writer of ‘Monroe,’ Mad Magazine’s worst recurring feature, portraying Jake Byrd, one of Jimmy Kimmel’s numerous worst recurring features. Who is also unforgivably annoying but fortunately not marketed at toddlers and thus never going to get into the toy section of a department store.

I had to delete the email that I forwarded to myself with the store photograph in it just because seeing his sleaze makes me so uncomfortable. I mean blippy’s sleaze, not byrd’s, but byrd would also have to go in the mercifully improbable same situation. And then I avoided looking at the picture between then and today, and realized I initially misread, at small size on my mobile machine, the command “let’s roll” as “let’s pop,” and prepared some statements about why “let’s pop” is a stupid thing to say and now I can’t even use that*, and I think that also counts as a valid reason to not like blipli. Certainly it is better for his case that he isn’t commanding children to pop with him, but I don’t want him commanding children to do anything with him. I’m not saying I think he is a sexual predator, but I would only be about 5% surprised if he was. But I also am never surprised when anybody who gets rich off of youtube videos turns out to be one of those or a neo-nazi, and it seems like they all eventually do.
Isn’t it fundamentally un-wholesome of me to encourage such a strong rejection of someone, especially an ostensibly educational persona, based on how they look and sound? Not if the rejectee is only pretending to look and sound that way. blippi is deliberate, blippi is an act, by an actor, and I have every right to disapprove of that act simply on the basis of its outward appearance. And as noted he’s also selling toys designed to look like him now.

Say what you must about Michael Jackson, but dressing like a clown, having a ferris wheel at his house, having a life-size cardboard cutout of Peter Pan in his bed room, that wasn’t an act, that was real, and everybody could see it, and they STILL let their kids sleep next to him. It is bizarre now that youtube actors in a sense emulate some of Jackson’s weirdness on purpose and they still get encouraged for it.

*
what does “let’s pop!” mean? surely this is not encouraging children to overinflate themselves, but I don’t know what else it might mean in this context. it reminds me of when TNN The Nashville Network realized Nashville, Tennessee, after which it was named and at whose residents it was aimed, was just one place that people in most other places didn’t care about and rebranded itself “the national network” and used the slogan “we’ve got pop!” and it failed because that is stupid and meaningless and STILL didn’t make anyone forget that the N really meant Nashville, then they turned into Spike TV because spikes are always marketable. Someone in chicago was once murdered for popping, I know that much. So at least start with the ringleader.

actually I am glad I can’t use that, as it is fairly lame and poorly realized, and as much as it’s blippi’s fault I can’t use it, it’s also blippi’s fault I wrote it.


I KNOW it isn’t my fault! Just tell me WHAT went wrong instead of whimpering at me.


1930s technology is apparently more reliable. I would rather my niece watched old Popeye cartoons than Blippi; these are more realistic depictions of actions and consequences. None of those shallow twenty first century values of phony smiling fake-kindness, conflict avoidance and ultra polished blemish free cowering-from-controversy garbage

You know what, I’m busy, I have to get ready to not have thanksgiving.

I actually wrote about these cartoons over a year ago but since they are apparently rightfully unpopular they never came into my business again after the first time and I forgot they existed and didn’t finish.



November 18, 2020
Another woman wearing a blue T-shirt stands by, yelling obscenities to people in the store for unknown reasons.


This is SMART living because you would be a FOOL to pass up a chance to own a GOLD pumpkin

These must be the only three people who could beat him up. The emasculated quivering coward begging for quarter that only WE knew. Or maybe they are just more familiar with the beardless version shown here, which admittedly I am not.

He looks like he is fed up with people prank calling his office and asking for Matt Damon

Before this goes any further i need you to understand that vegetables most certainly canNOT beans.

Not in AMERICA, anyway. go to europe if you intend to engage in that sort of hedonistic rubbish.

You know what, go wherever you want, just go away from me.


the best thing about a world wide pandemic isn’t political parties making ignoring safety precautions a left or right-wing issue, it is definitely there being no clear end to the thing so that corporations have plenty of time to mass-produce smirky merchandise that just accept pandemic life is a given and here to stay. I expect these are produced by workers only kept about six inches apart.


i realize this is the future and I am not supposed to laugh at people with impairments anymore but I am going to laugh at Mighty Sight anyway. oh haha.

I just indicated it is improper to laugh at impairments, but that doesn’t mean you should be PROUD of not having ears. And it seems shortsighted, though mercifully not eyeless, as this creature doesn’t have limbs either!
but I am idding of course; seen from the front this whatever-this-is actually says “FEARLESS,” which makes even less sense since lacking ears, arms and your entire lower body is a valid plight to fear. If I assume this is just meant to be representative of the full-bodied character in its original feature Frozen film context it still doesn’t make sense, as much of the plot of the film is a consequence of this character being totally afraid. First of turning people into ice, and then being afraid of having turned everything else into ice instead, and then the writers were afraid of making this insanely marketable character into an actual villain, and so rolled some dice to arbitrarily assign “villain” to another character with almost no development 75% of the way through the film, even though he never created a giant evil snow monster out of nothing and tried to kill his own sister with it, or worse, another smaller snow monster that is voiced by patron saint of shrill mediocrity Josh Gad thereby transforming him into an inescapable, insufferable media presence after this film grossed over a billion dollars, and then pre-emptively ruining the first movie Rick Moranis agreed to appear in after almost 25 years grape grimpity.


hey look it’s Terry Bradshaw, that guy from commercials, bad talk shows and SHINGLES. Apparently he also played the American footed ball a long time ago, but is still evidently the most recent marketable nfl player without any major criminal convictions who hasn’t been killed by injuries the league insisted weren’t a big deal or their responsibility whenever the prior statement is proven false. Likewise he probably doesn’t eat chicken nuggets, definitely never did at such a time that he was “prep[aring] for the win,” and appropriate enough isn’t eating any in this picture, but he doesn’t mind if you do! And he doesn’t mind if you don’t since he already got paid.


He never puts any Red Man Chewin Dabacca in his mouth either. Red Man Chewin Dabacca, it’s like taking a big bite of an indigenous person and then spitting it out.



November 7, 2020
Presidents Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush,[9] and, most recently, Bill Clinton[7] have also been separated from the football. In none of these cases was the integrity of the football breached.

11-16-2020 these have perhaps been among the most surreal three days of my life, and yesterday was definitely the most tiring. but it continues. “because of covid” can be used to justify pretty much any arbitrary delay or disposal of function
/////////////////////////////
11-15-2020 a lot more of that than i expected! no a proper website piece is not popular. also this house is freezing. the new house shouldn’t be freezing. also today is my mother’s birthday and I have not done anything about that either! and I actually meant to! this is not a good house for doing what I mean to do!
///////////////////////////
11-14-2020 i will be probably assisting in loading a truck to finally commence really moving out of this house, after more than six years after the first attempt to sell it. I like to imagine I will feel more in control of my existence once all that is done with, and will do something more useful with it, maybe even with this!
///////////////////////////

Why isn’t the LAMEstream media reporting this?


or maybe he meant a parking lot.

no, seriously? he won days ago, dorks. I believe it is in fact quite common for votes to not all be counted for days, but to have so many states without a clear majority which the trailing party cannot mathematically overcome is uncommon, yet still not unprecedented. Media being afraid to project a winner, that is new. Still it was undeniable by yesterday except to career-denialists. As somebody who lives most of my life in denial, I can recognize that!


I don’t see a point to gloating about Biden prevailing since Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell got re-elected clean, so them and their ilks can still obstruct progress like always, and Trump is still the president until January 20. Biden isn’t anyone’s first choice, probably not even his, and anyone with high expectations will likely be disappointed. Plus the covid is still out for blood, and all the people who weren’t helping before will continue not helping.



November 2, 2020
Hunkerers urged United States President Dwight Eisenhower and General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union Nikita Khrushchev to hunker together to end their differences.[10]


Election day eve update: Joe Biden is still not cool. And less new than ever.
I can believe Biden abused his political position to meddle in a foreign government’s business to get his family money. That’s about the only thing Trump hasn’t abused his position to get, because he spent his entire professional life accumulating wealth through abuse.
I don’t think Biden belongs in this position. I think he was forced upon voters even harder than Hillary Clinton was, long before any campaigns even started. However, I can at least believe some things that he says. I can believe that he wants to improve something, anything.
in 2016 I thought: eh Trump is in, I will see what he does, in this role, and not pre-emptively condemn him and panic over unsubstantiatable rumors. Now I have seen that he dodges responsibility, lies about everything, insults everyone, same as before, and almost worse, is applauded for that. If he has real plans for things that matter, I can’t tell.
the Obama administration before that, while superficially an improvement over its predecessors, failed to end numerous bad Bush-era policies, greatly increased the numbers of drones in combat, couldn’t control the police, installed an incomplete health care system…Trump hasn’t really changed much, if any of that, for the better.
Biden MIGHT be different from Obama, and not necessarily worse. But Trump will be the same as Trump. Nothing he has ever done makes me think he means at all well in his screw ups. So based on that I can prefer one over the other. That is about as much optimism as I can manage! I still wouldn’t vote for either of them, but I will vote for somebody.

gosh the connecticut ballot is worse than I thought this year.



August 21, 2020
In Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS and Wii U, one of Kirby’s palette swaps resembles Meta Knight without his mask, further implying that Meta Knight may be a Kirby.

however I feel about the actual content of the story [a week ago], the unnecessary, corny, 3D ANIMATED face mask from this New York Times piece has greatly improved my day


WHY does it have to be 3d? WHY does it have to be turning? This reminds me of a “choose your character” screen from a mid-1990s arcade game with “great graphics” except instead of a bold and powerful adventurous figure it is a dumb old piece of fabric with straps on it

I can’t stand it, it looks like it has ears. This might as well be nemitz’s head partial turning and smiling at me and whoever else yet never totally looking away. That should be illegal.


also stupid, you can CLICK ON the mask to make it BIGGER! Just in case you saw it and thought “not corny and unnecessary enough at that size, need bigger!” In fact you can even click quite a distance away from it just to make sure maximum maskimum corniness is accessible to people whose motor skills are less than fine.

And this isn’t the Forklogan-Vanpeeblesworth Dispatch, this is the New York Times,


pardon me TIMES, the same acclaimed news source that proclaimed Miss Bianca to be a veritable minx of a mouse, which a book publisher then thought worth putting on a book cover above its title, so they mean business.


Also, this was among numerous books in boxes that I took from my attic to my garage in 2014 trying to clear space, not realizing everything in the garage would become trash by virtue of being in the garage, yet this quote was preserved, while the title was not, when I got to disposing of the books on the same day as the 3d mask came to me so it is only logical to assume there is a deep metaphysical connection. And now it is deep messed-a-physically within a dumpster, beneath surprisingly few dopes.



June 3, 2020
Austin Police arrested the woman for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. In addition to the cheese grater, she also wielded a knife, police said.


a twitter-inspired image, not a judgement so much as an observation. from sunday, before “black out tuesday” during which numerous people posted pictures of black squares to show their belief that black lives matter and/or to stage a Kazimir Malevich-inspired art exhibit.


Combating white supremacists with white suprematists is certainly an approach I would not have considered.
my intent is not to judge anyone for not wanting to be an activist; not every person posting is in the united states and we’ve seen riots before, but the dichotomy is bizarre. I don’t think posting hashtags, saying you “stand with” someone or “going silent” accomplishes anything important, but if it helps some people feel like they are part of something positive, and maybe some even get a legitimate positive feeling out of it, that is good, right? I know that I wouldn’t, I would feel like a silly person being led by a force I don’t understand or necessarily have the means to identify or trust so I don’t. I tried doing that for a few years trying to please internet activist sorts that I knew and I wasn’t good at it, I didn’t like trying to do something I wasn’t good at for no real reason, and I don’t know any of those people now.

as implied, I have encountered NUMEROUS videos of police clobbering people in the street with seemingly no provocation. and mixed in with them are occasional videos of non-police doing awful things. I think there is nothing noble about ganging up on people even if they came looking for a fight. The goal of these protests, ultimately, is to reduce police violence, and ANYTHING counter to that empowers sorts who advocate more brutal policing, and they’re forever seeking to be. I see far more of the “bad police” videos but as long as there are a few “bad non-police” videos the people who fixate on THAT angle won’t acknowledge any other type. I remember a few years ago when it was trendy to say and sell shoddy merchandise branded with “punch a nazi!” But they aren’t exactly wearing swastika armbands and executing minorities in public, and if you do punch somebody who displays mildly nazi-like tendencies, and it is RECORDED, bet on any context being edited out so you look like you are against free speech. Of course if such a person punches you first the video will be labeled as justified by the same people who would criticize you for punching first but it won’t be at risk of changing anyone’s mind.

I think it is valid to point out that USAmerica’s thuggish law enforcement did not start with Trump, but he is held up by many supporters as a Obama/Clinton antithesis despite seeming to double down on and enjoy their worst traits. His “virtue” is his emotional honesty and no other kind. He tells you he is going to send soldiers to clear protesters, and by bolly he does it, and doesn’t pretend that he wishes he didn’t. It is as refreshing as getting sprayed in the face with lachrymator agents can be.


And if you’re going to loot a place, you are considered a criminal whatever the case, so go to a best buy and take something that you couldn’t buy legally for less than the cost of a doughnut
if you are seriously considering robbing a dollar store please just look for a vending machine to beat up instead.

dollar tree supposedly took $22 billion in revenue in 2017 and has over fifteen thousand stores, so they can handle being burgled, but it isn’t time well-spent and the individual employees aren’t getting paid enough to deal with that.

THAT sentiment, in the blue text, though not the exact wording, was from Thursday may 28, before somebody who I knew five years who had not engaged with me previously on that topic or really any other recently responded “people are getting murdered” and was done with me without any further discussion. Nothing like “hey person I’ve known for half a decade, traded art and had prolonged conversations with, I think this joke is tasteless. Are you unaware of how serious this situation is? Are you getting news from an automated aggregator of websites that are slow to update and may have agendas rather than righteous retweet chains? Perhaps I can provide you with insight that you lack.” I may still be dwelling on it. That doesn’t mean I think I am oppressed now, but I also don’t believe that attitude, turning on anyone who isn’t as dedicated to saying all the “right” things as you are helps anybody, and it’s impossible to know which tragic world events that affect other world events are bad enough to temporarily get fun outlawed and which, like the by now regular mass shootings and unprecedented natural disasters, aren’t. the fact is that nobody can know and care about everything, and nobody does, and anyone who acts like they do is full of beans and only does it when instructed to do so by “influencers” as they are now called who I couldn’t possibly keep track of unless I spent every day doing that and I won’t. I think communication should precede condemnation if the possibility exists.
Perhaps this is new because the murder was filmed and unmistakable. Alright but if anyone is awful now they (or I) didn’t just abruptly become that way because the dominant public sentiment suddenly shifted.

and then yesterday June 2 a 77 year old retired police captain David Dorn trying to help out his friend who owned a pawn shop by checking on the place was murdered by a looter stealing a television set. and I wondered: would a thief who was willing to shoot someone dead robbing a best buy be less likely to face opposition if they had robbed a dollar tree? Which is a ludicrous thing for me to wonder since I am not responsible for the action of someone who was willing to kill anyway unless I have advance access to that person plus awareness of that intent. And I didn’t! A joke in bad taste does not make a person bad. I also think back to a “few” years ago when I was angry at somebody for supporting an artist who, to seem cool, presumably, espoused nazi-flavored antagonism. This is not the same thing. I am not setting out to rile people up and then pretending I wasn’t usually.

here is a theological question that not enough people are asking.


this may raise even more



January 31, 2020
My first WAD. Designed for single player mode with some nice surprises in it. Up until you get the red key it has a strange resemblance to where I work. In fact that Baron seems to be in my bosses office ;)


this may be the lamest billboard i have seen that isn’t for cracker barrel. i object to the phrase “like a boss.” it is a phrase I almost exclusively encounter in advertisements that are trying to seem hip and happenin’, like memes, except memes at least tend to have some scrap of organic origin. it is a phrase created as a joke but was used seriously by people who are so desperate to mimic what they encounter that they didn’t know it was supposed to be a joke. Which is common, in culture, plenty of things end up having opposite meanings better known than their original meanings. And it still HAPPENS in an age where you can look up anything easily because people are too lazy to do that. If you make a task easier, people will find a way to lower their standards so that it becomes difficult.

this wants you to use “pdf” as a verb because people who aren’t me use google as a verb. but telling a computer to look something up for you is empowering (even if as I indicated most people won’t bother), and just the sort of thing a boss might do. Bosses do not make pdfs. Bosses order other people to make pdfs. Because making pdfs is dull.

pdfing like a boss is as cool as cooking food in a

ninjar fooditm. Or in a foodi™ from anyone at all or anything at all from a company in Massachusetts that thinks it gets to call itself ninja and put an ® after it and then sell tools which mundane tasks are done with. I reckon soon we can expect to see the Necromancer “Necri” Desklamp and the T-Rex Assassin Graphing Calculator and the Shark Vaccuum Cleaner

oh well that makes sense i suppose.
I ought to consider that the actual original ninjas killed using farm tools, and pressure cookers have been used as bombs in several terrorist attacks. I don’t know why SharkNinja Operating LLC does not put that in its advertising. From the people who brought you the Jeffrey Dahmer Fag-Reducing Grilling Machine it’s the Ninjihad IEatD! Saves time, not infidels.

Back to my initial objections, the attempted glorification of the pdf format: It is annoying to use, annoying to browse, the file sizes are bloated, and most importantly the format is proprietary. swf, flash animation, is also stuck in the 1990s and loaded with bugs but at least THAT has a unique purpose that no alternative has been proposed for, and that is being forcibly phased out. yet pdf gets to reference irritating forced memes by the side of the road while implying that mundane busy work is cool. No it isn’t. Ads don’t get to say something is “awesome.” Maybe a person in a job that calls for lots of pdf creation can come up with ways to make it fun, but, first of all, I doubt it, and if the ad says it is than it isn’t anyway.

this is the sort of thing that I am supposed to “let [it] go” and I don’t dwell on it, but in the moment when I see it, all these thoughts go into me at once. This thing instantly bothers me for a whole land of reasons. Ads aren’t cool, people in ads aren’t cool, acts advocated by ads aren’t cool. Nothing that you pay to impose on others is or can be. It got MY attention right, it did its job, right? No I am never going to pay adobe for a pdf creator. I have other ways of making them if I need to and I don’t need to because it is a stupid format. One print store tried to charge me a ludicrous undisclosed per-file fee because my pictures were all separate instead of in one pdf and I just didn’t buy from them that day or ever go back there because those people are scum. Anyone who won’t tell you what their product costs until after you have ordered it is scum because they know what it costs and they could easily publicize it but don’t because they know it is too much and can only get sales by trying to trick and trap people.


on twitter promoted twits are visible for a split second before my ad-blocker smites them. I used to be able to block the entire “trends” box and that was preferable, but now I can’t so I just set it to a language that i cannot read.
Like a boss promoted BY like a boss. I don’t want to know i don’t don’t don’t don’t. Presumably this was somebody’s boss’s idea. This [was in December] the first i learned of it and ideally will be the last i learned of it (it wasn’t; i saw it in the same space a month later). I would not say I am happier cut off from the dominant culture but i definitely get angry-depressed less often. I am more stable. I wondered if once I was beyond the age of the target demographic I would actually start getting appealed to, since i statistically no longer mattered, but that did not occur, and i simply obtained awareness that I was never going to matter.
and it says “nsfw” which means “not safe for work,” like if you have a job. but any job that you are watching stupid promoted movie trailers during is a job you should be fired from, presumably by someone like your boss.

I think you should also be fired if you do anything “tumsworthy,” even if you work for the GlaxoSmithKline company. I think you the whole company should be fired for making its name all one word but still capitalizing the S and K. Also for pushing unapproved drugs on to physicians and only being punished with a 3 billion dollar fine that sounds substantial but is less than a tenth of its annual profit. And they are only the SEVENTH-largest pharmaceutical company! They get the money, we get the pills to distract us from the misery of all the money we spent on pills and then more pills to distract us from the fact that the first pills probably made us worse.


one does what one must.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

i warned you about this
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    This never happened


    old webpages
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    12/11/02
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    08/15/03
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    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
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    02/16/05
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    The same