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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
September 25, 2013
In March 2013, Thicke participated on ABC’s Celebrity Wife Swap. He swapped wives with comedian Gilbert Gottfried.[7]

page 58 of that
Another one that was extremely hard to draw for no clear reason. Even with some minor objects blatantly left undetailed or undrawn in certain frames. I did draw in the missing feet from the previous page. Gallimimus is still misspelled.

I admit this page accomplishes absolutely nothing. Not directly, anyway. I decided it was better to stretch this incident to fill the whole page than try to cut into something else with two frame-spaces left. i have decided I want to keep things even so that I can move them around more easily if the need ever arises. I think out of order but do not understand a picture until I have drawn it, which makes “planning ahead” a very alien concept. there is probably some fundamental rule of cartooning written by somebody I should have heard of that ways “never spend 12 frames on a total diversion”
And then of course I thought of something else after stretching it so now everything is tightly crammed in. I meant to stop forcing things onto pages that could not hold them. truly i did. or dispense with the concept of “pages” when they were not necessary. That is not going well! In fact it is not going at all.

I had to change this drawing to get the right effect, but that is one of the most punchable elpses I recollect encountering.


“one of,” I said.
Sad elpse in a circle reminds me of the drawing of a meeply round-eared animal that accompanied the word “cub” in my old phonics books. I recall I used to draw swords stabbing into it and helicopters shooting bullets at it right there on the page. I do not recall a teacher ever asking me why I did this or acknowledging the questionable behaviour in any way. They really didn’t pay much attention to individual students, usually. One time I joined two lowercase Ts on a word like “butter” and had the word marked as incorrect because (and I had to bring up the issue myself afterward) the teacher thought I spelled it with one H in it. A capital H in the middle of the word “butter” with lines poking out the left and right where there should have been two Ts which make a completely different sound than H. What that we’ve been through together makes you think I am capable of such a ludicrous error? I hope that’s not the REAL reason I was sent to special education. “Who would think a capital H goes there? After all the phonics we’ve been through? Get that kid outta here!” Dumb old elpse. It is elpse’s fault that I was forced into a series of environments within which I would become so disordered through the years that I eventually thought elpse was a good idea to come up with.



January 6, 2012
Knight Man (Naitoman) is a Robot Master that, as his name suggests, resembles a knight. He is skilled with a morning star mace. He is a good friend of Yamato Man, and ironically, is weak against his power (the Yamato Spear).

page 47 is it now? Of that, I think it was.
I may be getting a little bit better at ink application. Not better enough, and certainly not any FASTER, but perhaps this means that will eventually be feasible.
It finally occurs to me why comic artists use blue pencils; because it’s a different color from the ink and so selective color detection can automatically remove it. I obviously haven’t used one here. It hasn’t been my experience that colored pencils’ marks are terribly compatible with erasers but I never considered testing it by color. Anyway that won’t do a thing about the grain of the paper or the unending hassle that is layer switching plus the increased save period which makes me reluctant to do it as often which is a terrible idea when using outdated image manipulating software.



May 23, 2010
Oh, mother dear, we greatly fear our mittens we have soiled.

page 39 (scroll down!) of this. The physics of the technique on display here don’t check out at all, but it was funny in my mind.
I’m still trying to figure this “ink” thing out. Likewise, I’m still not doing that. It’s getting more elaborate, but not any faster, clearer or easier. In fact, this actually looks worse with the way I color stuff than immediately after I scan it [four times, once from each corner and then reassemble the pieces]. Whoopth.
Also, the time has been two years since I last drew Rabivmip, (if we don’t include that one frame with the people running through the hall way, since I forgot about it) even though that was only 19 pages ago. What is wrong with me? The answer: something is wrong with me. I’m trying to be more outgoing and affable, so what’s wrong with you?



May 12, 2010
Oh, I’m Sammy the snake, and I look like the letter S

I’ve been awake too long.

==================================

Good old Mxy “Maxwell Yezpitelok” Frebunkulus of the Bizarre Webcomic had a clever thing which he wrote posted on the website of the apparently now solvent crack’d. You may pretend some of the half million or so views on that were due to my pointing it out.

Speaking of dragons, because I was last time and just put that other note first because my leech sense tells me to mention people I sort of know who get exposure on popular websites although not that time Bridgeport Cat did it because she was writing under a pseudonym although that’s also a pseudonym and in any event AAAAACH I’VE BEEN PICKLED

When the movie Dragon Train was first being promoted my mother asked me, for a reason I have not yet deduced, if it had been available when I was larva years old I might have been similarly infatuated with it as I was with the 1973 post-Disney edition of Robin Hood. I do not think this would be the case. EVERYBODY in that movie is a dumb animal. As I opwhined a long time ago on the subject of Pokaymon and its various contemporaries, we’re never allowed to have just the monsters taking the focus. There always need to be some tiny human kids with magical powers bossing them around. The movie I saw recently thankfully depicted the pertinent tiny human kid doing it out of necessity and possibly friendship, rather than merely because he has a sick fascination with beating up every other fingerless-glove’d adversary’s own monsters.

This movie also lacks my own arbitrary childhud fixations, the green floaty diamond-shape logo and Sireaganol. The famous Sireaganol.


At one point the bear puts on a different silly costume than usual and approaches the king and introduces himself as that. I didn’t hear “Sir Reginald,” some ordinary noble figure of no import. I heard Sireaganol, one word, some great and powerful name whose significance is never explained, but it must belong to someone important, maybe just BECAUSE it isn’t explained; I really ought to know who it is already. He’s so great that he can wander out from behind some bushes like a tramp, approach a place of royalty without being accosted by guards, announce that he is Sireaganol and sit next to the king. This is particularly notable for being the only scene without swords or bows in it that I had any interest in as a small child, just because of Sireaganol. I had no idea what he was talking about to the king nor why, but Sireaganol is not bound by necessity. Sireaganol and I have much in common, although I dislike mustaches for myself and I wear my monocle on the other side, and only when watching 3d movies.

I often take issue with neologisms, because issues are what I take. Who decided that misheard bits of speech are “mondegreens?” ONE person did, and now everybody has to call it that. Why don’t we call them Sireaganols instead? Because I may decide that it is I who heard correctly, and everyone else who is wrong.

My mondegreen quarrel is similar to my tiff with tv tropes, another baffling website that doesn’t need my help (and won’t get it), in which one infallible oaf arbitrarily decides that a supporting character who wears a gauntlet is a The Quacksmash Sammy and any time somebody makes a sandwich with boomerangs instead of breaded chicken cutlets that’s called Dancing With the Hamburglar and a story about a hunt for treasure that no one gets to keep is a Big Bird Bar Mitzvah. No! I refuse to call them that! I’m also not going to read the three hundred exception-riddled examples of these occurring that all happened to be from shows aimed at five year-olds as analyzed by people two decades outside the target demographic. No spriggety, Fairy Oddlyparents is full of lame cliches because it’s not meant to be watched by people who already have a quarter century of cartoon viewing experience. Anyway, back to talking animals in a medieval England devoid of death, disease and monarchs who actually live in France.


It’s curious that even with my own spelling of Sireaganol is so close to “Sir Reginald” I didn’t quite make the connection until somewhere around twice as old as I was then or half as old as I am now. Even after that I continued to keep it in my memory. At the time when the thing I call nemitz was “Chesterfield Snapdragon McFisticuff,” I imagined that the thing I now call elpse might have been “Sireaganol Rumpole McFisticuff.” I reneged on this because I remembered that anything related to or inspired by Disney, whether they did it deliberately or otherwise was and is evil, and also that nobody liked green chesterfield anyway and thus a grand name the likes of Sireagonal would be inappropriate even if it hadn’t been invented in a Disney movie, and I’m never going to stop using Ms DOS based operating systems. You might also detect by the repetition of McFisticuff that I intended for the characters to be related. I did. I’m not sure if they still are. Possibly. I’m certain they’re not really really Scottish, however. I know they’re a bunch of uneducated bog-dwellers, but the mere thought of the annoying exaggerated accents they would need to have if I made a cartoon version forbids that.

One thing I am certain of which I discovered today is that the governess hen in the movie is named Klucky. With a K. Although the obvious error in Sireaganol’s name above and



“hand her a bouquet” being transcribed as “under a bookcase” may give me reason to doubt the accuracy of the captioneer’s work, I cannot deny that I heard something very much like “Klucky,” which is reason for alarm whatever consonants are involved.



If anything that’s Miss Klucky to you. The discreetness with which you conceal your ears does not distract me from your obvious lack of discipline.

Regarding the floaty green diamond-shape thing introduction sequence, I linked to the one I did because I like how defiantly the symbol freezes on the screen for about thirteen seconds, just long enough for you to resign yourself to standing up and seeking out the fast forward button because your vcr didn’t come with a remote control object only to have it end abruptly once you initiate action, followed by the longest youtube comment quasversation about absolutely nothing and without any racism I’ve yet encountered.

The thing I remembered so fondly was an old even then, and I now realize incredibly cheap “Disney Classics” home video line logo. It is commonly referred to as the “black diamond logo,” but both of us can see it’s clearly blue, so let’s not argue about that. Despite my familiarity, I never owned a copy of Robin Hood on VHS. Although I must have made my parents rent it enough times to cover the cost, I now realize that if they had bought me a copy it could only have been of the later edition, which I would not have tolerated, and as someone with two younger siblings who had their own favorite movies that we DID own copies of, I reckon if I’d had such easy access my own older brother would have hated me a few years earlier than I actually turned retarded around 9 or so.

I couldn’t read, but the cassette itself always had a tiny version of the pertinent logo printed on its label, so I KNEW before it even went in the VCR. Dangerous times. The later version of the tape had a different opening which featured a blue speck leaving a stain in the shape of the ol’ Walter’s name, flying off from the presenting hand of an immobile Mickey Mouse dressed like a druid. I already owned tapes with that logo on it! Unsatisfactory. Of note is that the green, cheap logo’s appearance features several blatant backward ‘S’es, things that would taunt me in successive years, but I did not notice them then; I was too preoccupied with what an entertaining anecdote this all would make twenty years later. I may even mention it twice. In fact, this was such a great story I don’t even feel like transitioning into the me-not-liking-normal-people’s-music themed material I threatened you with last time. Golly!

But speaking of dragons,



I am not afraid of this one. In fact, I’m generally not impressed by any gold thing that I can buy for five dollars. You will serve ME. You will do MY bidding! And you will also deliver my seller feedback.



The wimp isn’t even as big as that dumb bird! It’s so ashamed that it wants to vomit. Hey bird, how would you like to come work for me? I’ll pay you $7.50.
The only thing that could be cheaper than golden dragon is…

OH NO, FLAPSAIL
I apologize in advance if FLAPSAIL does not attain the same cult status within my mind as Deadly Armor.

I still don’t hear a D in Sireaganol.

Speaking of backs, I will be on Monday, but for now I must go. Oh, ho ho die.



December 30, 2009
Oh, no, what’ll we do? Don’t look now, but I lost my shoe.

In my family, there is a traditional act done at the end of a year to ensure good fortune in the next. Only my father insists it be done and he doesn’t know it exactly as historical record (the internet) says it’s actually supposed to be done, but I go along with it anyway. A person must be locked outside the house before the year ends and request to be let in once the arbitrarily designated point in time passes. The person outside must come inside with a bread-based product, a bottle containing an alcoholic substance, and “money in your pocket.” It is imperative that the money be contained within pockets. As anyone in the world can tell, the last few years I have done this, with disastrous results. In fact, I think we might all be better off if I did not do it at all. Yet here I go once more. Enjoy your continued recession and the next installment of livestock inspired illness media hypage.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

In the coming twelve month period I resolve to not draw those poorly planned interior and exterior areas of nipfolm hospitarium dome in my stupid comic any more.
Hey, what do you know, the last time I expect to need them, on Page 35 of this!
But if they are called for in the future, ideally I will be at the point in my artistic growth-regression cycle where I don’t put the accuracy of backgrounds that don’t need to be accurate before every possible other thing, because even when I do, the light sources make no sense and sixish story buildings appear to be one half in size from the outside.

Is it a sign of a psychological disorder on my part that elpse (the green character) seems to switch between having a vaguely masculine and feminine physique at random? Before you answer, I should inform you that yes. However, it is not deliberate; It may well depend on what pose I want to use and how much space there is in the frame. It merely has happened and I have not seen any reason to correct whichever one is inaccurate, now that I’ve noticed; in fact it I think it’s funny. This is good, because I used to fear elpse was being perceived as boring and unlikable, and such weirdness distracts from that. This is of additional benefit to everyone, as according to my script there are pages and pages of just walking and saying stuff coming up.

Oh yes, and happy noigear!


That was so weak, pointless and stupid, 2010 has no CHOICE but to seem like an improvement.



November 30, 2009
Wow! The Global Gladiators are way awesome!

Tue’s day: I just realized I forgot to do the “alarm” color overlays as I did last time. Eh.

———————————————————-

page 34 of Aw Beans: A Beet Street High Seas Adventure Starring Lorna Doone and Dinty Moore

This one features some of the worst inking I’ve ever done. I’m really not getting any better at it. However, I am getting very good at wasting time/ink adding needless black shadow-lines that I have to remove after I scan the deal because it makes everything look burnt once it is converted from gray to black-and-white and actual color gradations are added. Whoopth.

The dimensions of that room and its relationship with the hallway continue to change. I grow weary of its rebellious ways and will tolerate them not much longer.


My scanner needs to be fixed/replaced, but this sort of thing hardly seems worth the trouble.



December 4, 2008
Pah rum poppum pum, me and my drum.

Important Madmartigan update coming soon…

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Aw beans! page 26? Of this?
Hopefully it is acceptable to rip off old gags if their use is irrelevant. Hopefully I will accept that I have done such a thing.
I am still not sure how the bed thing should work, and I’ll be up all night fixing it if I try to figure it out, and when it only has problems for the purposes of an old gag about folding beds which is not relevant it simply seems of minimal concern.
It also seems to be destiny that my comic appear to switch artist mid-page on a regular basis.



September 11, 2008
That retching sound you hear is Mother Mary’s – and mine!

Page 24, down there somewhere. Of this.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: December 6, 2018
Frimpinheap sez:
I know nothing of these “lovable” dopes which you refer to.
December 6, 2018
Bad cow sez:
But why would any upstanding being want to hurt such lovable dopes?
December 5, 2018
Frimpinheap sez:
at some point you will be able to physically assault them. The previous dopes, in fact the...
December 5, 2018
Indighost sez:
The feeling of total confusion and bafflement that this gives me is really new, interesting,...
December 5, 2018
Frimpinheap sez:
I can send them directly but the website that i should be able to sell them through has...
December 5, 2018
spork sez:
tangentially related question: are the copies of the second volume of these comic blocks now...
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