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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
January 24, 2020
Cavill’s reshoots were scheduled around Paramount’s Mission: Impossible – Fallout, a film for which he was contractually obligated to keep his mustache.


page 45 of the inexplicably ongoing comic strip
it features copious views of areas where i really don’t know what is supposed to go in them, like the blue part of the building’s outside wall. apparently the only other time i showed this area was page 3-2, where i didn’t make it blue and put yellow grass there in a way that makes no sense, and it wasn’t zoomed in close enough that there was massive void like here filling the void here with lines and angles seems to work but it feels really lazy.
3-1, the page before it shows that there is a sort of tunnel in that spot but I recall in a previous update noticing the inconsistency about the tunnel and resolved to just not have a tunnel there because there are more pictures without it than with it and they are all small. I ought to edit the pages where it DOES appear so i stop rediscovering this inconsistency re-evaluating which way is correct because eventually I will choose the other way and that will make an even more longwinded stupid problem.

Out of nowhere between 410 and 420am i decided the green elf should have one earring, and once that was enacted it instantly seemed like i should have made this gnome be the less wimpy of the two here. The script seems to have them trade off which one is more aggressive than the other, which is probably frustrating as a reader. None of the gnome stuff was well-planned or “planned.” i established previously that gnomes with hats that point straight up are aggressive but pathetic, so I don’t want to have this one also be like that. Really one of those should have been in this pair instead but I ALSO established or at least implied that these two specifically have some sort of partnership, so they should be together, without considering that there might not be any justification for it other than me having put them together the first time before I knew anything about them or that they would be appearing again. in fact they are part of a group of three but i ADDITIONALLY established that the third one isn’t in the gang and so would not be out searching for creature-imps to beat up. oh!



December 24, 2019
Like her sister Barbie, she has had numerous “acquaintances”, celebrity friends, fantasy friends, and Disney friends that were produced at her size.

I am almost sad the “cats” movie is flopping so hard since I was looking forward to getting angry at it not doing that.
cats is my least favorite musical work by somebody who I think has actual musical talent. Everything about it was annoying even before Rebel Wilson had a role in it.

my stance on cats is a matter of public record, but I will repeat it anyway because I’m sick, i need help.

Starlight Express is the gayest ostensibly heterosexual love story I have ever seen. Although to be fair I haven’t tried to watch Cats yet.

I have now listened to the “Cats” album in full and wish to apologize to Lord Andrew Webster for implying that it has a story.

And I wish also to apologize to Jonathan Larson 20 years after his death for ever saying Rent was the most annoying musical.

Cats is like if every song in Rent was sung-chanted by Angel and had nothing to do with the song before it.

Cats are like THIS! And cats do THAT! That’s how life IS if you’re a CAT!

I was embarrassed that I liked starlight express, overall, at times, but maybe I shouldn’t be since cats gets loads more respect.

I think Starlight Express was made specifically for people who like really stupid stage musicals but didn’t like Cats for why-ever

And also to help Andy Lloyd Lloyder replenish his stock of gold embroidered toilet paper.

I spread my “Chess” obsession across a few years but I want to try and get Starlight Express out of my system within the week.

I do not know what long-term psychological damage dwelling on it might be capable of.

I think Andy Pandy Webby is a substantially better composer than Stephen Sondheim, on account of his music actually having discernible tunes. If Webbo is guilty of plagiarism at least he picks good targets. But there is a reason Jesus Christ Superstar got made into a movie almost immediately and Cats took almost my entire lifetime, apart from one being a god story and the other a there is no god story. Which reminds me, christmas is tomorrow!


Gosh it’s finally here I can’t wait

I drew the sketch in 2016 during a particularly regrettable period in my life and forgot about it, then last year my younger brother was going to appear at some sort of comedy event where Artie Lange was also going to appear, so i colored and purged the uncanny valley from it in anticipation of promoting the event with this, but then the brother dropped for a reason that I wouldn’t have because gosh if somebody is PAYING me to do what i ASPIRE to do and I was sharing a venue with somebody else who made a career out of it why would I not, that would get me more respect than drawing dopey fursonas ever has, and I suddenly had no excuse to justify bringing it up again and I forgot it again. unfortunately, i remembered.
ALSO it seems that in 2017 Lange had a series of incidents which among other things have rendered his nose in a state that makes it seem perpetually pressed against a plate of glass, so as barely recognizable as this drawing was it is now quite less so, and then I suppose already had been at the time when I meant to show it. I only learned that today when debating whether to tag him in the post on instagram. I decided not to because I wanted to tag both of them and if the other guy has an instagram page it didn’t come up fast enough for me to not start getting nauseated at other people’s posts mentioning him and great bimpity frimpity look at this dumb garbage who cares it isn’t worth that much anxiety.

In other Lindy news he recently appeared without my being prepared for it in the HBO series “his dark materials,” where he portrays the character Lee Scoresby, who gets into fistfights and shoots monsters with a gun and is utterly unconvincing, and apart from that is incredibly distracting being a ubiquitous media celebrity in an ostensibly fantasy setting but fortunately only in half the episodes and not the only thing wrong with the program. One of which is uncertainty as to whom the titular “his” refers. The quantity of luminance in his materials is not a factor in my distaste for them, apart from maybe I would like his stupid beard better if it were invisible.

My opinion of whose-ever dark materials is also a matter of public record, but unlike “cats” was actually topical when I talked about it and I still couldn’t even manage a single meager “like” so there is less need to assume that was just because nobody saw the posts because I am sure someone did. if you look up related hash tags all the posts are just people who are already fans of that guy talking about how great he is on the show even though, as noted, he is usually NOT on the show and detrimental when he is. that’s probably WHY he was cast; he brings along an existing set of fans who aren’t very discerning. I am supposed to accept him as a surrogate father figure for the main character Lyra even though they hardly have any screen time together and when they do Lee is whining about having to work or demanding to be paid, which could be funny if he was funny but he isn’t. Lee Scoresby has about as much warmth as the equally nasally Enoch “Nucky” Thompson from the earlier hbo series Boardwalk Empire, which apparently loads of people watched when it was new, just nobody who I know or who knows me.
That comparison seems like a compliment since Enoch is portrayed by Steve Buscemi who a lot of people also like but Enoch is an unscrupulous gangster rather than a roguish ne’erdowell with a heart of gold.


this is a different character, i suppose it isn’t terribly important whom and that may work in my favor since the valley of uncanniness I mentioned earlier is less of a factor when you don’t know who a picture is SUPPOSED to look like.
yes I have hbo now, I am up to date on the premium channel shows that I for years resented The Media treating like everybody watched and kept up with back when i couldn’t, and now I don’t have regular cable and it is better, and apparently loads of people also are only using premium streaming television now rather than conventional broadcast services, and once again we still have no idea what each other are talking about.

but this is christmas, right? I should do something nice for someone. tying up old mental baggage so I don’t talk about it where other people can hear it is a gooder deed than I typically manage.



December 14, 2019
In Disney’s fifth installment to the franchise, Air Bud finds that he also has the uncanny ability to play volleyball. Throughout this experience he and a talking parrot stop some crooks and make some new friends.


On december 1 2019 my niece Vackshfump was watching “ralph breaks the internet” Yessir this 5-year-old really needs to see a cartoon full of comedy celebrities talking about loot farming and ebay. I was only near it twice and was vividly reminded of this foxtrot strip except imagine it cost 175 million dollars and bill amend owned toaplan and taito.
“all your base are belong to us” is one of the earlier meme “phenomenons” before people described it with the terminology “meme.” Bill Amend was lazily referencing it in this comic strip for nerd credibility despite it already having been considered old at that point and this not really having any angle on it other than to observe that it exists, and of course it takes 6 weeks for newspaper comic strips to get published, or at least did for most of their existence.
And what is my problem, then? The ralph movie is even older now than the all your base joke was then. But I am not doing this for credibility! If I was going to have any I would have gotten it a long time ago. I was never going to watch this cinemagony on purpose when it was new, much less pay for the right so that I might offer a timely criticism. Having a small child in my life is bringing along with it a great deal of unfortunate media the likes of which I would greatly prefer to not be aware of, because it does THIS to me. I don’t have time to write these things, do you have time to read them?


You can say “WELL it’s not FOR KIDS just because it’s a CARTOON!” but it shows up in the netflix “kids” mode that hides countless other mildly to substantially less stupid things, and also prominently features the official non-parody disney princesses which exist primarily to extract money from parents of this specific captive audience, with the aim of turning those kids into willful captives and likewise captors when they produce their own children.

also on netflix kids, Jerry Seinfeld IS “The Bee Movie,” Adam Sandler’s entourage in Hotel Transylvania and Alec Baldwin as the only character he plays now inexplicably drawn as Boss Baby, all three brightly colored celebrity wank jobs devoid of kid-comprehendable content (plus numerous other equally ugly items I am glad have not been put on in my presence yet). I don’t think bee movie even has one kid character. Of the four I have named, only bee movie my sister refuses to put on, and i don’t understand where this line is drawn. I acknowledge that seen here is boss baby the spinoff baldwin-less netflix series, but I know the full film is there also because I had to deal with that last year. It was boring and pointless but not an exercise in brand awareness disguised as something other than that. The trash culture fetishizing of hotel transylvania is deplorable and its character designs only seem bearable in the proximity of minecraft but I will admit the animation itself is occasionally funny-looking, which I can’t say for the others I have mentioned. I think Trolls the movie is a crime against humanity and demi-humanity but it is unmistakably a children’s film and not visible here so citing it would not aid my cause.


if you are curious about the netflix kids setting, this is how customizable it is. You can’t tell it to include or exclude certain titles. You can’t personally select and omit every movie that has excessive belching or flatulence in them, for example, and I presume there are a surprising number that don’t. Of course as a parent have the power to NOT put on a movie you don’t like, but when kids are bred from birth to want disney-y trash and you are granted no means to tune it out you end up having to fight your own child to avoid it.


and maybe you deserve it if you cede the authority to a moneymaking business to decide what is “age appropriate” and harbor absolutely no other categories of appropriateness.
If I was the parent I would browse it myself in advance and choose some things that weren’t too horrible but most people aren’t like me and netflix specifically isn’t really big on giving users control anyway. it automatically plays trailers for whatever is selected including whatever it suggests to you first and complacently refuses to let you disable that.

As indicated, I was near it twice; two days later, ralph was on again! it is legitimately upsetting to me. I don’t know how to co-exist in a world where this is considered valid entertainment. It makes me depressed. I can’t have happiness if this is what people want. if i have consolation it is that it made ONLY half a billion dollars and that is now considered a disappointment to the Disney organization so there probably won’t be a third, but everything is like that now to some/many degrees so it isn’t going to stop.


everything i guessed about it is not only true, it’s twice as bad. the princesses aren’t in the whole movie but they are in much more than I was expecting. they show up about the same length into the film that optimus prime does in the transformers movie and get about as much screen time. (incidootily my least favorite part about 2006 transformers was also the unnecessary pandering references to the internet) This movie cannot stand on its own, and nobody cares. imagine if “meet the spartans” made much more money and put a curse on mentally-challenged movie critics to say nice things about it. that series got killed when writer producer jackasses seltzer and freberg became too greedy and decided to distribute subsequent movies themselves and suddenly couldn’t get into theaters. That is not a reliable circumstance for me to hope for with disney.


in this movie websites are places, otay. this one is called “ohmyDISney” and the character who says it pronounces the heap out of the DIZ. it is supposed to be a disney fan site because this communicates that consumers also accept that star wars and marvel just ARE disney, not established worlds with their own identities that disney simply purchased relatively recently within our lifetimes. and also this isn’t corporate excess this is what WE the proles WANT. Like this is MY fault.

that’s “oh my disney” as in “oh my god” without the god because plainly there isn’t one but that doesn’t mean you can’t receive doctrine and arbitrary commands in its name and worship it. Also it has its own hotels because of the allegory of an internet as a physical place that looks like a real place and real places have hotels and EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE IS MORONIC

I don’t consider pixar in the category of stuff disney just bought and assimilated because pixar’s public identity has always been synonymous with disney, and in many ways the current disney was assimilated by pixar. The same sap morality, fake comedy, california/celebrity worship and computer graphics addiction, and also John Lasseter has been in some way involved with every disney movie since way too long and was only kicked out after he, like every entertainment media figure who gets held up as incapable of error, turned out to be a sexual predator. Since that occurred people other than me have been complaining about disney movies again, which I can only hope means disney is actually getting better, but the Lion King bookended both sides of the Lasseter era and I hate it in any case. it’s still d-d-DIZney, turning a profit targeting schmucks, even if its hypnotism of the reporting media is slightly less complete.

Anyway this whole segment of the ralph movie is just to remind you that disney owns stuff and intends to mash it up in disgusting ways, it must be stated that all the specific video game references in the film are 20-40 years out of date or generic, but the oh! my disney segment includes real brands and absolutely reflects whatever disney wanted to project of itself in 2018. The princesses all know and get along with each other and wear contemporary slob fashions despite coming from different time periods and countries and don’t exhibit any traits that could be perceived as negative, because blind complacency is never treated as negative.

The climack scene with the princesses saving Ralph, their proprietary musical themes playing as each appears, is the biggest i have mouth-painfully-agaped since the animaltopia preview. When moana ducked into the frame and smugly said “you’re welcome” I wanted to scream. I don’t talk about moana on this website, I hate everything about it so much without reservation and I already did that too much with the lion king, and now moana, and more importantly irritating references to the most irritating song from any disney product can just be in any other property that they manufacture. That whole thing, it almost made me cry. I wasn’t just annoyed, I was depressed. Because this has been out almost two years and I have never seen a word of complaint or displeasure about this. Everybody who has seen this film thinks this is acceptable, and would presumably be comfortable with disney owning every commercial property there is and making every movie a potential cross-franchise rule-free orgy of pandery idiocy that pretends it is smashing through once unbreachable cultural barriers.


whaaaaa? how did BART SIMPSON get into this AD for DISNEY PLUS to deface it? That is so SUBVERSIVE and actually not criticizing disney in any way and disney incidentally owns the simpsons now and it hasn’t been subversive for decades! It continues to exist for the same reason that the lion king remake took in over a billion dollars even though everybody i know who saw it didn’t like it and would probably go pay to see lion king remake part 2; brand loyalty that supersedes all reason for products that will never stop coming and has no incentive to get better.
also: if oh my disney is synonymous with oh my god then disney + can be seen as disney christ. The major difference in divinity is that it was possible to kill Jesus, at least for a little while.

A major thing that bothers me about Kevin Smith movies is how often characters are loitering around talking about other movies, but at least in that case they aren’t movies that Kevin Smith has a financial stake in, and if you skipped those parts, the other parts would still function as well as it was going to.

it’s like those sketches on saturday nuhlive where the actual person being parodied walks into the sketch and oh ho ho how droll aren’t we all having good fun NO it isn’t a real parody if the victim is in on it. You need to be able to criticize it in a way that it would not criticize itself, that its owner would not permit to be criticized.


also if you will only criticize a public figure without permission via special guest stars who are themselves beneath contempt and not even cast members then that doesn’t count either.
Gosh why even watch the show? It is much more satisfying to read a sycophantic summary of how “hilarious” the opening 20 minute parade of smirklejerk “woke” celebrities and applause breaks is. also my use of “woke” doesn’t mean right wing conspiracy schmucks are controlling me, it means a force beyond my control finally invented and agreed on a word for something i have been screaming at for what feels like centuries.
I had a tragic falling out that he is not aware of with stephen colbert over the shift from comedy to this “woke”ness but gosh at least he is devoted to his own show, whatever that show may be, and too busy to do stupid trash like this. James Corden’s show isn’t even in new york.
I don’t even hate Paul Rudd but he happened to get named in that headline and I don’t think he will suffer for it.

Also! Immediately before the rescue scene, Ralph falls through another character’s rescue vehicle, and rather than expressing alarm or anything organic, the character, who is unmistakably voiced by Saturday Night Live handoff Bill Hader, just talking normally, despite Hader’s greatest talent being to disguise his voice, emotionlessly states “wow that didn’t work.” Yes obviously it didn’t work! You saying that doesn’t make the fact that it didn’t work funnier! I really miss the laugh track convention from bad old sitcoms because I knew I wouldn’t hear it in a feature film, but smugly reacting on my behalf can be and is in everything. And why does disney bother buying ABC and FOX if it inherits all its actors and writing conventions from NBC? Because NBC is owned by Viacom which probably doesn’t want to sell it, but if dismey makes itself synonymous with nbc there is no NEED to buy it. It is [currently still] illegal to own all competitors in a field anyway, but not to indenture them. Although copyright law was changed specifically to let Disney keep owning mickey mouse so maybe it will get a law changed to let it keep owning more networks as well, and then another law changed to ban technology that increasingly makes tv networks irrelevant.


and this over here: note that it says “the muppet show” despite that predating disney’s definitive ownership of the characters by 30 years because despite all the muppet products since then The Muppet Show is still the last one that doesn’t come across as attempting to cash in on how popular the muppets USED to be. I did say I liked the muppets most wanted film but i wasn’t aware –first of all, how ubiquitous and tiresome the tina fey brand of comedy would become within a few years when all other american comedy had morphed into diluted imitations of it– and worse of the disgraceful “viral”-ready videos of

muppet versions of bohemian rhapsody and the like being made to promote the film. I am able to believe that the “brinksmanship” that got steve whitmire fired in 2016 from controlling kermit involved him protesting and blocking as much degenerative disney energy as possible (and maybe not, because he also performed and CREATED rizzo the rat which only got more tiresome and inclined to steal time from more interesting characters INCLUDING kermit as it went along). If you haven’t seen it, good. this was another of Vackshfump’s fixations about a year ago. it is “only” just under 5 minutes long but each lame muppet video connects you to more lame muppet videos, usually with obnoxious teasers built into them that show about 20 seconds out of context and then you see that again when the video actually goes on.
and i can’t say “jim henson wouldn’t have allowed this” because he allowed muppet babies which i hate most prominently and also thought selling to disney was a good idea, but at least those were cartoon non-“real” muppets so nothing they did actually happened.

It shouldn’t make a difference to a little kid what song the muppets are singing along to, yet the content is so moronic that I, a non-kid, feel embarrassed being near it. And that Bohemian Rhapdoder was chosen specifically so that adult children my age or older, who all this stuff is really made for, would recognize it and be taken in by the woah hey remember wayne’s world remember the 90s quotient. Even though the song is from 1975, 20 years earlier, i definitely never heard it before wayne’s world but heard it loads after that.
I remember in fourth grade a kid who had the song on a tape and would get other kids to do his bidding by saying “i won’t let you listen to my bohemian rhapsody” in the event they did not comply, and that WORKED

This video, it is so bad. It takes a song that is already overexposed and irritating from tired fake parody homages, and covers it with ancient muppet-related nongags lifted straight from that muppet show without any context. Context is VERY important to me. The entire first section is sung in earnest with unchanged lyrics by Gonzo, and Gonzo is not good at singing. The “joke” is that gonzo is accompanied by three chickens who are worse singers and maybe that is funny to somebody for about 5 seconds and it goes on for a minute. ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. the lyrics only change at the part about mama killing a man because the muppets are disney and family and disney doesn’t kill people except villains and parents. Then instead of “we will not let you go” the elderly hecklers say, in unison, “we do not like your jokes” to fozzy bear because see they DON’T like fozzy bear’s jokes and therefore it is funny for them to say that just for no reason amidst this song that otherwise does not concern fozzy bear or jokes or fozzy bear’s jokes.
It reminds me of the ten year period where i hated the muppets because of stupid trash like that and apparently that never actually ended.

AND you can say that the muppet show itself was largely comprised of muppety covers of existing songs. It was, but the intent was not to shoehorn in as many disparate muppet gimmicks as possible. They often featured original or unnamed puppet characters that had nothing to do with the established trademarked ones. They were content to be themselves without desperately trying to remind anyone of themselves. Also disney didn’t own them!

Anyway I don’t believe any muppets actually appear in Ralph’s movie beyond Kermit’s enormous disembodied inanimate head but obviously just the logo is enough to get the point across to somebody such as me, possibly only me, that muppets equals disney, and it all happens in about three seconds. None of this has plot relevance to Ralph since there is no plot to be relevant to. True enough to the title’s promise of wrecked internet, it is sort of like watching the moronic video content of a wrecked system sapped of its potential by soulless opportunists and corporate synergy, except there isn’t a perky brain-damaged narrator’s enormous hands taking the characters out of eggs while the words “here i am here i am how do you do” echo in the distance.

AND you can say that the muppet show itself was largely comprised of muppety covers of existing songs. It was, but the intent was not to shoehorn in as many disparate muppet gimmicks as possible. They often featured original or unnamed puppet characters that had nothing to do with the established trademarked ones. They were content to be themselves without desperately trying to remind anyone of themselves. Also disney didn’t own them!

Anyway I don’t believe any muppets actually appear in Ralph’s movie beyond Kermit’s enormous disembodied inanimate head but obviously just the logo is enough to get the point across to somebody such as me, possibly only me, that muppets equals disney, and it all happens in about three seconds. None of this has plot relevance to Ralph since there is no plot to be relevant to. True enough to the title’s promise of wrecked internet, it is sort of like watching the moronic video content of a wrecked system sapped of its potential by soulless opportunists and corporate synergy, except there isn’t a perky brain-damaged narrator’s enormous hands taking the characters out of eggs while the words “here i am here i am how do you do” echo in the distance.


Maybe this dumb frog wearing a bow tie would find it acceptable.


12-31-2019 104am
I just rediscovered this page from nearly ten years ago that I wrote after seeing Avatar and How to Retain your Dragster, in which I make loads of the same complaints. For the sake of my own free time and the few people who don’t yet think I hate them because I hate everything they like, I absolutely need to become less aware of new crummy movies. Even without media influences and truly shoddy friends encouraging these things at me I am not safe without working at the avoidance, and that would be less work than writing another page like this! I could drop dead at any time and I don’t want to risk there being a picture of Josh Gad on my screen when it happens and whoever finds my body weeks later thinking I wasn’t thinking something condemnatory because they definitely aren’t going to read any of this!



March 5, 2019
tonight the bats will feast, and tomorrow i will head out to find the phantom of the jungle, the jagwire


Sharing a house with my niece, I have seen more than my share of popular media that I would otherwise have pledged to avoid, and it has helped, forced me to discern the truly awful (Finding Dory) from the bearably mediocre (Brave) and occasionally something that isn’t even bad. I can take the 2016 [disney] Jungle Book better than 2017 [disney] Beauty and the Beast since Jungo isn’t trying to closely imitate the earlier disney cartoon while selectively changing things to be more twitter-morality acceptable, while meanwhile totally failing to be as good in the scenes that are completely analogous. It isn’t, like Maleficent, depending on you having seen the old (disney) movie so it can tell you how WRONG that movie is. But 1991 Beauty and the Beast is a different sort of thing from 1967 Jungle Book since it came out within the lifetime of most of the jerk hipsters who NEED a replacement version that is less interesting and more “social justice”y. Maleficent had its own amount of that, but foremost its goal was to emphasize how perfect its star/producer is. 1991 Beauty and the Beast is considered obnoxious fandom required viewing more so than Jungle Book OR Sleeping Beauty, but Jungle Book least of all since that doesn’t have a princess in it who needs to be retroactively transformed into a more substantial and empowered character. I hadn’t even seen 1967 Jungle book all the way through until literally last week because i never wanted to. Which is not to say its remake lacks elements that exist only to get the attention of annoying people, like putting a cowbell focally in the Christopher Walken character’s treasure heap. but it isn’t shoehorning in every song or lame imitations of the old version’s dance sequences. The two songs it does carry over are briefer, and the first is relevant to distinguish that the bear character is more fun-loving than anyone else in the jungle, who never even taught Mowgli what a song IS. The second song is a sinister/surreal counterpart to the first song, sung by an enormous megalomaniacal gorilla who is only trying to seem fun. Almost the opposite of the original character. Which actually was an original character, having no counterpart in the actual Jungle Book books. Yes, the B&B remake did something similar with Gaston, changing fun to sinister, but in that case it comes across more like they aren’t ALLOWED to make the guy likeable even for a moment because internet than a creative decision. And since the film is a scene by scene recreation of the old (disney) version, that change really stands out to me.

Gaston’s divergence from the previous film, with regard to how he initially treats Maurice, is not significant enough to disprove my assertion that the film sets out to impersonate and swap places with the other, since otherwise it does, before and after that point. 2016 jungle book differs from the cartoon at the start, middle and end. 2017 Beauty and the Beast does so sporadically and strategically.

2016 jungle book is not a scene by scene recreation. It is not trying to re-appeal to the same people as the old one. The 1967 edition is silly. It is a cartoon. It KNOWS it is a cartoon. The newer film recognizes the change in medium and tells a different story with many of the same elements, and without trying to put itself over and diss the old one. And I am not of the opinion that the cartoon is perfect, either; Mugly just ends up near Man Village without ever resolving to go there, so he doesn’t need to grow as a character. He never shows an interest in technology so it is less clear why anybody is worried he will get addicted to fire. There are prolonged interludes with the elephants and vultures that do not accomplish anything except remind Shere Khan that everyone else in the jungle is an idiot. Apparently Walt Disney was obsessed with celebrity voiceovers, if not as obsessed with building the entire movie and marketing campaign around that as the current company is, and wanted the Beatles to voice the vultures and thought the novelty of that would be enough to justify giving them what feels like 15 minutes of screen time just saying “so what do you lads wanna do?” “don’t start THAT again!” But John Lennon knew specifically that he didn’t wanna do that and I suppose the others weren’t even asked but the scene wasn’t cut or redone, either. But I don’t dwell on this all day and all night because it is a dumb cartoon. It isn’t like Moana with the stop and go “you can do this! no you can’t do this! yes you can! no you can’t! now let’s have a montage where you prove you can do this! now let’s have another mopey interlude where you think you can’t” which also I am supposed to see as socially progressive since the female protagonist is more competent than the male one and neither is caucasian (and I acknowledge that cartoon Mowgli is literally Christopher Robin with a different haircut despite being in India). The obnoxious David Bowie tribute can’t be deleted without leaving a hole in continuity whereas if necessary you could skip 1967jb’s vulture section.


and so
When I read about 2019 lion king, months ago by now, I had never so profoundly wanted a film to flop. It seemed like it wanted to combine the worst traits of Maleficent and Beauty and the Beast Remake, What with loads of inappropriate celebrity non-actors in major roles, especially Beyonkay Knowles, who is about the only person I can think of who would be presented as less fallible than Angelina Jolie, and the source film being in recent memory and precious to dumb fandoms which will hype and buy into it whatever it does. Jungle Book 2016 is cited as inspiration but only on the technological side, even though the cartoon is more visually engaging.
Instead of two songs that nobody trendy cares about, we get four incredibly annoying songs from the earlier film that are supposed to already long since be seared into your memory, with the one bearable song about the one bearable character left out. As of february apparently it is back in, but then THAT means you’re literally recreating the old movie. Then you get a talentless ass like Billy Eichner, whose lame to fame is going outside and yelling embarrassing things at people while filming them and periodically reminding you he is gay like you couldn’t tell. And he’s not taking over the minor Bobcat Goldthwaite role, he’s being Timon, who sings a lot and is impossible to not see. I never liked Timon, but I learned to appreciate Nathan Lane in theater roles unrelated to the Lion King. Because he is actually an actor, even if I don’t think he is funny. Billy Eichner is nothing if he isn’t funny except loud (which is annoying) and gay (which is irrelevant). The hog is voiced by Seth Rogen, who I also don’t want to hear singing, or at this point even talking. I would say I don’t want to hear him breathing but that seems like i want him to die, when I merely want him to not exist.
John Oliver, why is he there? Why cast him as Zazu, the worst character? Just to make sure there isn’t one person left that I enjoyed in my late-night-comedy-liking years and haven’t yet developed a grudge against? I got past Andy Richter being a voice in both Father of the Pride AND Madagascar but my understanding is that, at least in the latter role, he was actually doing a voice, not simply talking like Andy Richter so you hear him and think “oh that’s tv’s Andy Richter” because he probably actually auditioned for the role rather than receiving it in an award show gift basket. Can someone I don’t hate in a role that I do make the role more bearable? Not at my position in life, no. They might as well have had Billy Eichner do that one also.

Keegan Michael Key, another person I used to find interesting, has a role, but one of the hyenas which as I indicated I don’t remember noticing much from the cartoon. And I should be glad it is an ex-Mad TV person rather than an idiot from Saturday Night Live for a change. Considering that the film’s whole concept, recreate something that already exists and change a few aspects while mugging for applause each time a character I am supposed to already be familiar with appears for the first time is more or less what Saturday Night Live does now. But Phil Lamarr is also from Mad TV and has considerably more voice acting experience. Experience is irrelevant; Key was only cast because he is in stupid ads and Barack Obama likes him.


The top-billed actor is Donald Glover whose name looked mildly familiar to me, but what from I could not place. But apparently he is best known for an audio production called “This is America.” Something I heard last year, thought “this is terrible” and then forgot about and eventually learned had won six billion awards. That seems about right. That has really been Lion King’s legacy in my life. That which I find unremarkable at best becomes essential to the lives of others and shoved at me and heralded as the best there is perpetually. THIS is America. We make annoying movies set in other countries filled with lame comedy, irritating songs and fake contemporary morality and then tell ourselves it is the greatest accomplishment in the history of humanity even while constantly criticizing “america,” whose frivolous brainwashable marketing-addicted and disseminating consumers and above-the-law corporations this would be impossible without. ESPECIALLY if it is done in rap form. Because rap is new and speaks truth to power despite being older than me and totally appropriated by commercialism. The Media is controlled by white people who are afraid of looking racist if they claim to not like rap and conveniently enough the performance art presented as blackest is not terribly difficult. Anybody who looks the part can be trained to rap. Even if they have a weak voice and can’t talk very fast, hey hooray we trained the public to pretend they think digitally augmented barely-human vocals sound good! Convincing the public they like rap leaves you the most options. I don’t recall that the item in question contains digitally augmented vocals or that the new lion king contains rap, but Glover wasn’t hired for being an actor suited to the part, that is the point. I would be surprised if a single person in the cast was. Image is everything. Especially when the people are invisible. Anyway the magic of the Lion King is that it is bad enough on its own non-merit to not need rap to make itself worse.
The race-bait matter may be contemporary; it wants to compensate for the majority of television’s and cinema’s existence when no black people were allowed, except in demeaning roles, so I can accept that, for a few more years, possibly. I won’t pretend I like rap or the Lion King, though, because I don’t, and I shouldn’t have to.


1994 Lion King was a big line in the sand spelling out the word “sex” for my socialization. 1992 Aladdin had the inescapable mass-hyped celebrity voice before then, but Robin Williams only took the role on the condition that this would not be the case. Once that cat was out of its bag Lion King made it a bigger cat, and every cartoon thereafter strove to imitate it in that and all other ways, so they could only be as good as that, not better, and not different. There were terrible cartoons that I alone seemed to hate before then, but their acclaim was not unanimous and their attitudes not mandatory. Socialization means liking the same stuff as other people. I had no way to like Lion King. Lion King didn’t kill my chance of happiness, it made me cognizant that my chances of happiness were minimal.
I was not keen on lions already; I didn’t understand what made them “king” of “the jungle.” They don’t live in jungles and tigers are bigger than them!
And I really really hated the film! I remember hearing that the middle kid from Home Improvement was the voice of Simba, and not knowing why I should care or why he was a big deal. But I was SUPPOSED to know, and I didn’t go searching for the information. I thought talking feral animals were stupid and boring in general. I thought it was dumb that the prey had to KNEEL, on ONE KNEE, before these creatures that were going to kill them, and that I was supposed to think that was the right way of things. I hated simba bragging about being king and all these much bigger animals had to do what he said even though he wasn’t actually king yet, and compensate for his ignorance amidst that; when he says “everybody look left” they actually have to go RIGHT to match bratty dumb Simba’s viewpoint. I thought aging from child to adult in two seconds was extremely stupid. Especially in 1994, I had been in special education a year or two years and considered that all this garbage screwing up my life, probably for good, that I had no say in, in the DISNEY story this period of life is so easy and without consequence that you can skip it and be exactly where everyone else told you you would end up. I didn’t think it was funny that Pumbo and Timmy ate bugs. I ate a worm and got in big trouble, but oh ha ha when disney characters do it, it’s FUNNY! And they really don’t taste like chicken. They taste like dirt. Why does this wimpy scavenger know what chicken IS much less what a dead one tastes like, and why would Simba be expected to also know? I swear to you with complete sincerity those are the things I was thinking about. I literally didn’t remember anything that happened after the Hakuna Potata segment because I was so fixated on not wanting to be in the theater. I wanted to go home and play Donkey Kong on the Super Game Boy, so it isn’t like my standards were particularly high (though I’d still rather play that again than any Donkey Kong game released since then). In fact it was a long time before I realized that “caaaaan you feel the LOVE” song I used to get bothered by when buying pringles and 32 ounce Snapple at a local store was from a movie I had already seen. But it was four years before I had home internet access and yet longer before fan-wankdom controlled all discourse, so I was able to avoid alienating every single person who loved this thing, and I had emulators to keep me occupied even when video games tried to turn on me the same way that cartoons did, including a particularly shoddy and ubiquitous one based on The Lion King. Now Lion King wants to come back and really challenge my devotion to despising it. Well you know what, I’ve been alienating everyone I know by complaining about their false gods for half my life now so it is much, much too late to do any more damage. This isn’t something that is made to be remembered. Just to get press, get money, get awards and get lost. If it wants to supplant the old one, it may be my guest, put my apathy to the test. At least Josh Gad isn’t in it.


sometimes it is a relief to no longer care.



February 25, 2019
Ernest is the head elf and the most friendly of the bunch. He runs the workshop with an iron fist.


page 34 of part 3 of that dumb old comic strip.
I probably wrote more text about this page than any other and feel like showing less of it than ever!


this script is so old, elpse initially said “get up, ramus.” Ramus is a character from the video game Lunar Silver Star Story Complete Absolute Total, who is unprepared for the life of a video game hero and gets knocked down a lot. lope was also initially quoting ramus’s “blarrrrgh.” I played Lunar Silver Star, in 2006, and last mentioned it, specifically with regard to Ramus, in 2007. I don’t remember if I wrote this part of the script then but I was certainly un-old enough to think I could put an obscure exchange like that in here and have anyone know what it meant, even though I didn’t actually post a screenshot of Ramus saying “blarg” anywhere because I didn’t think it was an interesting-enough line for that, so it most certainly was not interesting enough to allude to out of context nearly 12 years after the game was already a 7 year old remake of a game from 1992 which wasn’t even particularly innovative THEN. Also the one time a voice actor says his name it is pronounced “ray-mis” and I always say “ram-us.” I made myself obsessed with Lunar because I knew, at that time, other people who had been obsessed with it when they were children and I thought they would link to my website if I liked the same stuff they did. If they read my comic strips in 2006 they certainly don’t now! Probably.


Oddly enough one of them specifically denigrated the game Breath of Fire in favor of Lunar and I said nothing in its defense even though I legitimately liked Breath of Fire and still like it better and I don’t know that I have mentioned it even one time in the half-my-life of having this website. I don’t even have any screenshots from it since I last played it before I made this website or meticulously documented everything I did.


Literally the last time I played it, my computer had an MS-DOS based infrastructure. Three to four times as much time has passed since I last played it than had passed between the last time I played it on real hardware and the first time I played it in an emulator, which I thought at the time was a long time!


I may even have stolen pog’s name from it! Although I only remember being surprised to see the name in the game years after stealing it if I stole it, not actually doing so. All this is not to say I resent Lunar –I was able to make a forced infatuation be sincere back in 2006– or that Breath of Fire isn’t made of problems that only a childhoodded fixation can disregard (and I may resent BOF instead for making me steal POG from it), but of all the things I make, the bimshwellian comicoid least of all I ordinarily wonder who I am trying to please with it and why, but today I did!

Also lope being felled occurred, initially, during the altercation with the robots, but when I got to that point I decided the robots should just get beaten up without doing anything. Inexplicably I liked the dialog enough that i contrived a way for lope to fall down in the same spot at a later point, and now that is a permanent part of the “story.” i only removed the ramus line literally on february 22 2019. Or rather made a copy of the dialog bauble and moved it to another layer and turned it unvisible in case I wanted to bring it back (and look, I just did). I had drawn it in knowing it didn’t belong there but not feeling like dealing with it. Thankfully I still think it is funny that lope is pitiful and a substitute line easily suggested itself, so this is only a major problem with regard to me knowing i cannot be trusted and that i will probably be 60 years old before i get through the entire script as it is now.


Of course, as I indicated, much of what goes on is NOT in the script. i get to a point and i change it, sometimes significantly; initially nemitz was intended to capture pog out of view, but when i got to this point I thought it would be funny if elpse’s goop fell on nemitz, so then elpse had to run off and capture pog itself, and that gave me an opportunity to acknowledge the dope still exists and also exhibit pog’s unusual attitude toward captivity.

But I do not want to drop anything I think of for any reason and so try to think of in-character ways for them to behave illogically to accommodate script pieces that are no longer relevant. In this case, lope thinking that the goop-covered nemitz is a ghost (and at the same time avoid saying “I’m soooo dead”). From a long term stand point, do I really believe that lope really believes that ghosts are real or that itself was well and truly dead? I did not think about it that deeply. But I knew “wow I am sooooo dead” is obviously not how lope talks by the time I got here, even when I still thought elpse might call lope “ramus.” I wrote that so long ago I did not have a solid grasp of how lope talked or just how foolish it was and in what ways. But NOW I wonder: does lope live in constant fear of death and undead spirits? What occurred to make it be preoccupied with that? I know, or think I know, that nobody is going to DIE in this comic strip, and have worried about my ability to introduce matters of consequence as a result, but I did not want to face the issue on the big punchable nose either, since it is too permanent an occurrence to add on a whim unless you are making something stupid like Dilbert that isn’t supposed to be consistent or not contradict itself. A hypothetical future version of me with a clearer mind may think a character death is necessary or even devise an alternative that is not strictly “death” as it applies to real people but without relying on conventional cartoon judeo-christian afterlife tropes that have no business applying to dumb old lope who I won’t even let have a christmas tree, or even some of the other innumerable copout ways American comic books have, often on whims, undone once-significant or equally whimly deaths. And that version of me would then also have to determine if there are supernatural forces which have interest in or authority over death and life. The present me is not qualified and so should avoid topics which lead to that one!


additionally lope’s new comment about ghosts agitates pog, who now has no reason to be this bored by the dialog. Fortunately pog has a looser concept of reality than lope so I do not need to wonder about why it is afraid of ghosts.

Pog’s boredom complaint came about because consistently in this section of the comic strip i have worried that i had more dialog than interesting visuals could be made to accompany. But again and again, and indeed again, had to strain to cram in all the visuals i came up with. However, now a script revision that I added due to the boringness of the script was made irrelevant by a future revision. That is so convoluted, crowded and broken I am surprised now that I didn’t keep it in!

Beyond all that, this page is one that is very hard to get working without layout swapping or dialog bauble stem crossing because there are so many characters stuffed into it. Ordinarily you can switch around where characters are to facilitate better dialog flow by zooming in, zooming out, or going to the next page, but I don’t like doing those things! i had in fact gone to a bit of trouble to switch the layout already; initially the viewpoint matched the previous pages, with the dialog positioned to suit that, and then I realized that would mean drawing the back of this parking lot 12 more times and I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to draw this side either but it at least is plainly a different page.

I should just put the word “trivia” at the top of a page every time I am conflicted about the overall relevance of its contents.



November 6, 2018
In 1978, legislation was introduced in the state of Maryland to make it illegal to play “Short People” on the radio. Contrary to urban legend, the bill did not obtain enough votes to pass.[4]


This sign advertising the republican primary is actually still up, but even the actual election sign only offers “cut taxes” as any indication of what this person will do and I suspect the sign’s keeper didn’t notice the difference. Although “cut taxes” is loads more information than these signs typically give.

Stefanowski is running against Ned flippin-dippin Lamont, who I complained about in 2006 as also having nothing new to say or contribute. As with the 2014 election, I do not think it matters which one of them gets in. Ned of course won the democrat gubernatorial primary on the strength of not winning the previous Connecticut election he was in for a lower office.

My brother Een produced a song parody that I don’t totally understand. It depicts Ned Lamont in a ludicrous fashion, but treats Stefanowski in a sincere and serious fashion even though he is just as much a red/blue stereotype as his opponent. And then does it to the tune of a song by someone whose prime fans are cartoonishly devoted to the opposition party. But Ian came and jump started “my” car when I was stuck in the miserable Walmart parking lot yesterday because I hate driving a car and every aspect of it exists to spite me, so I know Ian is a decent person. Would Bob Stefanowski help me get away from Walmart?

As usual, the only candidate who actually proposes anything is the one who isn’t supposed to be allowed to win, Oz Griebel, and wasn’t supposed to even be allowed to debate but slipped into one on a technicality when people running the venue were under the impression he was a great and powerful wizard.

Which is not to say I believe in Griebel, but of the three he offers something that can potentially be believed in. I don’t believe in anyone anymore who I cannot directly interact with.
I had wanted Trump to win the nomination in 2016 and gut the party because I underestimated republicans’ ability to be party members first and humans second. I also underestimated the democrats’ ability to pander and regress themselves to try and compete with that. People that get retweeted at me simultaneously say “you’re part of the problem” if you don’t vote for what you believe in and also that you’re “throwing your vote away” if you don’t vote for the sad compromise that they order you to take. I might as WELL vote for a wizard. Half these people are corrupt imbeciles, and the rest are running for office.

Ned Lamont has an unusual bonus this time in that some group has paid for and distributed sarcastic campaign signs announcing that he is “for taxes and tolls” even though only Griebel is openly in favor of tolls. They are obviously fake signs because the real Ned signs don’t say he is for anything. We only know that he is the white guy with a three letter name who is NOT going to cut taxes, and with the people I know, that might just be enough. Even though they don’t actually pay all the taxes because they get their wages in cash off the record.

I do not have a picture of these signs because I only see them when driving.
I hate driving. But I also hate having so many pictures that I cannot finish what I am writing because I want to insert them all. But I hate even more describing something that would work better if I had a picture of it. You know what I like? Lo mein. I believe in noodles.

I actually don’t mind paying for road improvements because I hate driving and would like to feel slightly less like I am going to suffer imminently every time I do it. My issue with tolls is that paying them is terrifying because it requires getting in a specific lane and having a specific amount of money and probably having somebody behind you angry at you for something beyond anybody’s control. Or you have to pay a fee to get a special automatic toll-paying brick from the government, even though the point is to help THEM get money from you more easily. I would rather mail Ned a dollar every week, and I hate mailing almost as much as I hate driving. I will vote for the candidate that will institute a statewide pneumatic tube system so I do not have to drive again.

Although the previous winner, Dan Malloy, declined to seek re-election because he was so tired of people complaining about the non-job he was doing, that gives me no hope that the next job-haver will do a better non-job.
(Ian ALSO has a song about Dan Malloy, and I like this one better because Ian sings it himself and it isn’t to the tune of something I can tell he doesn’t care about, but you wouldn’t know it without excavating it from facebook because the unaltered music from the original song that Ian sang over got it blocked on Youtube which I discovered just now. And then the video shills for some local radio dorks whom I doubt have his best interests in mind)
Grimbedly poketer, nobody complains more than people who win and get what they what.


Something that is “really popular” obviously is liked by more people than hate it. These scumbags get to smear their essence on everything while pretending to be victims.
This guy is set for life and was putting out the narrative “anyone who doesn’t like this thing that I made is a hater” in ADVANCE of it being available, –literally assuming it WOULD get popular because it was already crowdfunded for more money then I will smell in six lifetimes– and people that I KNOW are repeating this years later like that is to his credit, IN ADVANCE of whatever other thing he made more recently, even though the first thing ended up just about the most loved and inescapable heap of happy hype plopaganda relative to the amount of effort involved that may have ever existed and everyone involved has a mutually beneficial situation.

You know what happens if someone who actually is hated complains about being hated? Nothing, because people actually hate that person!

This forklogan who is only ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THIS HAPPENED is exponentially more loved than I have ever experienced! And doesn’t even watch the page, judging from its own screenshot, only leeches off it.

I don’t have a choice to not know or to form an independent opinion on the pertinent matter, which i have personally dumbed “Dintydoone” so I can pretend it is a combination of my favorite inexplicably named supermarket products that also thrive without me ever buying them. I only know it is there because I try to force myself to deal with things that I would rather not be aware of, to give an amount of consideration to the people who come to me, because I worry that avoiding what my instincts tell me are bad news makes me look like an unkind person, and my inability to function when put in that position has made me LESS kind. I don’t have a choice to simply not be interested, even though if I mention what I like I get gloated at like “ho ho I’ve never even SEEN that” like it’s an accomplishment that they haven’t, if I get acknowledged at all, which I probably won’t be. Maybe, MAYBE we are BOTH have a right to like different things. I don’t understand how this is a foreign concept. Of course our political system is preposterous: THESE are the people the candidates have to reach.
And I can’t just not use twitter because the websites that make sense were thoroughly devalued when every person who already gets what they want vacated those sites in favor of ones like this where nobody EXCEPT them can do so.

Do i overreact? Yes absolutely! This is a consequence of a life spent as a square peg trying to get through a round hole when I am actually a tea kettle, and now the culture is dictated entirely by square pegs which includes the hole which is also now square. My only hope is to avoid it entirely. I don’t mind people having their fun and their own personal false gods. They can be furries and bronies and John Balbonies but it is imperative that they be people foremost, and accept that no frivolous expenditure of time can have unanimous approval. Whatever the case I won’t beat myself up anymore for not liking enough stuff that I have no foundation on which to like, and hopefully I won’t make [as many] spiteful drawings on the topic, either.

At least the Hamilton guy, who came into and ruined a piece of my life equal in size around the same time has humility about his fame and considers that it is something of a fluke, even if his creative work comes from the perspective of the abrasively unhumble. He knows, on some level, that is garbage and only for show. I don’t know if he tries to communicate that to his fans, but he definitely wasn’t on 60 minutes 4 times warning people that there is something wrong with them if they don’t like his annoying songs. I bet he would jump start my car even if he read this first, although he might jump ON the car and sing a few lines from Man of LaMancha as punishment for my besmirching attitude.

I heard a [different] song, again, without wishing to, whose primary lyric was “i wish that i could be like the cool kids. like the cool kids.” no rhyme, just that over and over again. While this seems in conflict with “i’m a nerd and i’m cool” and thus a distinct personality type, both speak of a feeling of subjugation. “I’m not cool, I’m not good enough” & “I AM cool, other people who think they are cool actually aren’t.” People in the first group aspire to be the people in the second group. Both see themselves as nerds that society does not approve of, and both are disingenuous. If your song is on the radio and I hear it at the laundromat, you ARE the cool kids. And then if you say you are a nerd, then I have said this before.


Oh chads. Having a prefabricated message from nobody that mysteriously speaks in the first person and that is sent to every single actual person regardless of merit or attempt at it has thoroughly appeased my desire to be appreciated, and so I go out and vote for my favorite factor of purple now.


which is convenient since I literally cannot determine a thing about either of these people beyond that one is a lawyer and the other filed for bankruptcy in 2010. I have to think if somebody WANTS to be the dintdooned registrar of voters they would have a reason for it, or at the very least some piece of personal information they would want me to know before I knew they filed for bankruptcy.



May 5, 2018
Two kids named Smudger Moore and Huntley Hunter want to get their chocolate back.



the first version of this lame comic strip had chocolate, and a better explanation from the dog, since apparently nobody actually knows WHY grapes are poisonous to them. However, I thought my experience being annoyed and demoralized would seem fairly unimportant compared to the slave-like conditions in which chocolate beans are harvested by children in West Africa. Really, that is the reason I changed it! Not that I think anybody likely to see this would know or care that i was trivializing slavery, or that either way I am doing anything to improve that. But once that is in my mind, the whole thing seems meaningless. The primary thing in my life that is at all fulfilling is overeating, which frequently depends on my not thinking about how the exploitation of the world and its people is brazenly utilized by multinational corporations who operate in plain sight. And truthfully I can forget it pretty easily, but I made the connection when drawing the comic so it is fixed in place for me.


I keep seeing this at Stop & Shop and that is all I can think of. They aren’t just sweeping modern day inescapable servitude under the rug, they’re building a luxury hotel on top of the rug and pretending this is somehow pro-humanity and patriotic. Mars’ lawyers probably said “you can’t say made IN america but you can say made FOR america” and gosh that makes it seem like a selfless GIFT! And it IS patriotic in the sense that it puts casual thoughtless luxury of Americans ahead of basic humanity of anyone else. As they always have, but plainly crossing the line that even they have pledged never to cross. You might think one company could eliminate dubiously acquired beans from their supply chain and shame the others for not doing it, but if that actually happened they would all of course have to stop using slave beans, and none of them would benefit financially or publicly because they would also then be forced to acknowledge that they all have slavery in their past and present. What they presently do is put as many different companies and groups between bean harvesting and product selling as possible so it is very difficult to prove anything when somebody DOES speak up. When they do get called out on it, they make non-legally binding “pledge”s to stop using those beans approximately later, and by the time later comes they expect everybody with the power to influence their sales to have forgotten. Consider how long it took to get Bill Cosby in court, and he committed non-lethal crimes in this country against people who have access to means of expression.
It is not EASY to stop institutionalized, undocumented slavery, but obviously people making profits know it has been going ON for a very long time, and would never have made even the present vague show of trying to stop it had it not been publicized. They are morally comfortable with forced, unpaid child labor being step 1 in their product.

And it isn’t like chocolate is getting cheaper; the price goes up despite no sign that money is actually being invested in eliminating corruption. The people who gather the beans aren’t even allowed to EAT chocolate! They can’t even get ONE m&m while there isn’t a store in this country where there aren’t bags and bags and bags of the tiny little bastids. Because they are made for America! And I think trucker hats have finally supplanted cowboy hats as the worst hats. At least cowboy hats can look funny in the right context and provide adequate sun protection. Trucker hat just means “i am proud to pay extra to look ugly.” That’s the driving force between computer generated merchandising characters in general. They always look hideous and the fact that they are effective lets you, the company, know that the people buying your product have no ability or desire to scrutinize any aspect of it, much much less the incongruity between the frightfully specific list of ingredients legally required on the label and everybody involved claiming to not know where the actual chocolate comes from! We don’t know where it comes from but gosh it sure keeps coming at consistent, ever increasing levels and we own it. It must be magic! Magic for America!

At my one art show in 2017, I wanted to put out a bowl of wrapped candy for people to take (and they did), and somehow ended up at wal mart hastily trying to determine, on my terrible telephone computer, which major chocolate company used the “least” amount of slave labor. The simple fact is that if it is at walmart, it abuses enough people that it doesn’t matter that another company is more abusive. Even the dumb phone which I have also called terrible is an absurd convenience that we as society have been groomed to think is fundamental to our being, and contains components from rarely identified, exploited African sources. My device’s manufacturer, Motorola, is not implicated in that, but IS named as a company that benefits from dubious prison labor. And the computer I am typing this on now, who knows what is in it? I sure do not!


Anyway I bought kit-kats. You know, I didn’t get to eat any of this chocolate.


In other news, to start me back on the path to not thinking about where mass-produced cheap chocolate comes from, the dog is based off Scruffy, who used to live in my (and several other persons’) old house.

Seen here visiting my present house, before it was my house, and therefore much classier. Scruffy could in fact stand up and photographs exist proving that, but I sure could not find one.



March 12, 2018
On his 200th Birthday he sprouted a Second Tail and his pupils turned Yellow. He gained Super Strength following the event.

(please do not read this if you have not seen the film but intend to. There may also be other reasons to not read this!)

I saw black panther der film (based on the presumably well known comic book character) not terribly long ago. I thought it was a functional film though not totally cohesive and nothing about it surprised me. Probably better than Thor 2 but not as good as Thor 3. Goy was *I* wrong!


And during a brief exposure to nbc olympic coverage that I recalled afterward, a hypey promotion identified it as “A GAME CHANGER!” among other exclamatory phrases in big gold text that supposedly were said by real people whose job it is to say things like that. Trying to find that advertisement on the internet to get a picture of it is not a good use of my time. The important thing is that without me paying any particular attention it is clear that somebody wants, NEEDS me to believe that my life was changed by this dumb movie.

Black Panther is a ‘game changer’ because it shows that Marvel films can be just as dull, fragmented and focused on the non-hero identities as DC films, I suppose. Panther appears to have the approximately same skill set as Batman and indeed spends as much of the movie out of costume and occasionally out of the movie that he seems like a secondary character. He has a big fight toward the end but it isn’t the main fight and you can’t see what he is doing since he is fighting somebody else with almost the same black costume, in the dark, with a train blocking your view half the time. And it seems like this fight stops and restarts in much the same manner several times just to drag it out to match the length of the other fight they aren’t in. I only remembered after I left the theater that there was another costumed action sequence in South Korea earlier in the film because that seemed like it was in a different movie and I had to remind myself I had seen it the same evening.

He is not a “radical superhero.” The man he fights, Killmonger, is more radical than he is (so obviously that guy has to die). His sister Shuri is more radical than he is. ooh ooh she calls the white american cia agent “colonizer!” and then tells him all Wakanda’s state secrets despite him already having been shown as complicit in a scheme to buy them from the person who murdered Wakanda’s own king and her father, with diamonds stolen from other African countries and later asks him to shoot down planes piloted by her own black Wakanda countrymen because the US government underwrites all our big budget action movies but puts in insults like “colonizer” so we think they don’t.

Panthy may be the only person in the film who isn’t radical. He willingly gives up his power twice so other people can fight him for claim to it. The only thing he does that is radical is declare his own country’s traditions ludicrous and refuse to go along with them, at least after he loses his royal title legally via those traditions. Hopefully the radicality of telling ghosts they are wrong includes no longer willingly giving up his power in the future. Or declaring that only one person in the whole nation is allowed to have the magic plant the power comes from, as from the look of things they could give it to everybody. Or at least they could until Killmonger burned it all without even saving a stash for himself and then the one plant that was saved was instead of being replanted, fed to Panther even though he already screwed up.

The most intriguing characters, to me, were the ape-worshipers in the ice fortress, and they were in the movie even less than the title figure!


But once the media narrative is out there that this movie has some sort of profound message that the world Needs Right Now it keeps rolling down a hill like a cartoon snowball becoming ever larger in defiance of basic snow physics and few people seem to acknowledge it as a fictional contrivance.
Why should I be so bothered by this? I have felt for ages like almost all our acclaimed media is declared “acclaimed” on invalid terms, loudly and constantly so that common people believe it. What is different now is the forced idea that we are living in the most enlightened and progressive time of all times. Why is it important for people to believe that? Is that supposed to make us want to buy more garbage? More and more garbage than ever before? Peoples’ lives have so little meaning now that they need noiser and boastier false statements of meaning. Which also isn’t new but at some point you can’t get any louder. Lying to yourself that an unholy corporate behemoth made a movie which temporarily solved social inequality doesn’t do any more to get fake nazis to stop appropriating your ugly cartoon frogs than selling trashy merchandise asserting your right to punch them does, but it does make it easier for that behemoth to keep washing your brain in the same brine while it continues to eat smaller behemoths that by any other measure would be quite large.

And that is another matter: Black Panther and all his friends are born into affluence. The only person who isn’t is the guy he kills. “Killmonger” becomes king and has differing ideas about Wakanda’s needless secrecy, secrecy which had condemned him to a life of poverty, but he is implausibly irrational and unforgiving so that he is entirely unsympathetic. Panther only acknowledges the secrecy is ineffectual after his enemy does, and then his enemy still has to die. That yet allows the film have a message of “the wealthy should help others in the end,” except “the wealthy” in this case are from a fictional country that controls magic from space. And then white American CIA man is in attendance applauding because it isn’t HIS country that has to change. In fact WAKANDA’s money is going to come to AMERICA to help poor kids. Which is FINE if you accept that the film is a FANTASY whose intent is to amuse viewers. The dilapidated apartment complex in Oakland California that Wakanda people buy up to renovate wasn’t even filmed in Oakland! It was shot in ATLANTA Georgia. Oakland got no money from this movie!
The “Sweet Auburn” neighborhood where that WAS filmed does indeed has a history of suffering under segregation, but by the same token that Oakland didn’t get any money, Auburn didn’t get any recognition. And that is FINE in a fancy bit of stagecraft based on a comic book because it ISN’T REAL anyway!


Disney putting one gay character in each of their movies or at least making cynically planned leaks implying that they might doesn’t do a thing for actual social justice. I saw that Beauty + Beast remake also and Lefou “being” gay is about the least relevant dumb thing about it and that isn’t directly indicated anywhere, either.

That whole story was an exaggeration to get press and fan-wank points without them actually having to commit to any real change, and they get to have news stories saying both things, possibly at the same time. I expect that the writers remembered when JK Rollingsworth announced that Dumbledory was gay and got press for that (hence MY knowing about it) even though she was already done writing the Helly Pothuh books and never actually put that in any of them. And so the more recent Beast’s movie’s only goals were to make money by riding a wave of “retro” media regurgitation, to ret-con its previous movie to be mostly the same except where it conflicted with contemporary entertainment mores, and most fundamentally to establish a cartoon from 1991 as “the original” version of a story from centuries ago. And if you think this 2017 movie is a waste of time that is at best is a sad pageant imitation of a “masterpiece” then Disney still wins! People go buy fresh copies of that and themed merchandise to take pictures of themselves being owned by.


Certainly a MAIN character in a major budgeted mainstream mush being ACTUALLY gay without that being a joke or shoved into people’s business like “oooh isn’t this RADICAL?” would help to normalize it, and make people fuss over it less when it happens again. Although until it DOES happen I don’t give anyone credit for talking about it MAYBE happening in the future, and that still wouldn’t make the movie it happens in automatically bearable.

The fact of the madder is that almost everybody I have contact with is hopelessly depressed. The only ones who think they aren’t are hopelesslier addicted to stupid cartoons and video games, memey hogwash and hypey rubbish in support of those things because if they allowed themselves to think, they would realize how depressed they are.

To reiterate, I think the Black Panther’s film is fine, and it did what it did without relying on characters from other Marvel movies, which I don’t think has happened in this series since Iron Man in 2008. Although much of the VALUE of the series IS its ability cross things over, but it gets out of hand, and can be frustrating when a character whose movie you haven’t seen is suddenly THERE and meant to be recognized but you can’t because too many of them wear dark body suits without helmets. The people who created Black Panther are not necessarily complicit in the campaign to have the latest mildly above average bit of distraction material be declared society’s ambrosia, but I doubt they are questioning their inclusion in it either. I am thankful to have new non-internet proof that this campaign exists, because the last few years it has mostly manifested in things I had NOT experienced, because I was near television a lot and saw the hype first and thereby became too biased to assess them honestly. Being biased does not mean you are wrong. But it does mean you need to work harder to be certain you are not wrong. I was unilaterally biased against Disney for over 10 years and so I stopped complaining about it [as much] for a while, thinking I looked foolish and might possibly be unfair. But I have seen Frozen AND Tangled since my niece Violet was baptized in the princess indoctrination glitter cloud by forces beyond my control. And I can say with as much honesty as I trust myself to have that I think Tangled is probably a better film than Frozen, but if watching Frozen with Violish one more time would magically purge Tangled from existence, i would do it. And if watching both Beauties and both Beasts back to back would purge both those other two then gosh gad why not apart from that not actually being likely to work, because at least 1991 BnB has whimsy and 2017’s tepid re-enactment momentarily permits people to remember that whimsy was once allowed.

Seeing the way people talk about Black Panther after I saw it reminds me of what I also see people retroactively saying about Zelda Skyward Sword compared to the 5 outta 5 release hype. I don’t need to get into this matter deeply but I lost interest in the Zelda series after being utterly disinterested in and frustrated by Ocarina of Time, but my sister liked that one a lot so I tried to imagine I just did not have the right mindset and dexterity for it. But I saw her take to the follow up games with utter sincerity and willingness to enjoy them, and for the first time we could BOTH see all the bland tedious poorly designed gate-keeping hassles that I already considered the series synonymous with, albeit without the hideous n64 graphics or endless repetition of dopey 3-note jingles.


of course the posters outside the cinema would have me believe that peter flippin dippin bippin rabbit is a radical superhero. Yes compared to THAT Black Panther is highly significant. It isn’t enough to give the smug homogenite treatment to every remotely popular culture figure from my life time, evidently. They have to mess with my great grandparents’ too now. This just looks like the sequel to “Hop.”
No Peter rabbit is not an off-brand bugs bunny who chomps carrots while winking at the camera and then stuns Mr. McGregor with a big smooch before clobbering him with his own rake. Peter Rabbit steals RADISHES for his own personal benefit and runs away because he is TERRIFIED since his father rabbit did the same thing and got caught and baked into a pie. He isn’t a “rebel” out to cause trouble. He is just foolish. Beatrix Potter’s characters are entertaining because they are foolish, not because they are “cool.” What is even the point? There will only be name recognition among people who would find this ghastly.


Also: I know what “hop” is and yet recall that it exists because a person known as Bunsen robisioned me to draw their rabbit character one time and some unaffiliated degenerate saw it, copied it and uploaded it to this gross cartoon pornography site and identified it as homage art to “hop (movie)” even though the dork from Hop isn’t half classy enough to half-dress this well.



January 28, 2018
While the movie draws on many elements of the original series, it departs from the established Munsters canon.[1][2]

more about indiscreet of mana. Or I suppose anything about it because it appears that the image links were broken the whole time!
I do not like “fan-art” as a genre. I do not like what it has done to people, and to the economy of artistic recognition. People find out they get disproportionately more encouragement just copying stuff that is already popular than thinking for themselves, and then forget how to think, or never learn to do it at all.


This was even before tumblr and my first attempts at conventions; at the few art events I attended, there would always be some dork who only drew disney characters and I didn’t understand why that was fair, nor how that was particularly interesting to the “artists.”

I made a considerable list of copyrighted characters that I COULD draw if I ever felt the need to copy someone else which would be more interesting to me, since nobody else ever draws them. It would not make me a more creative person, but it would provide some dissent in the fanart miasma. Much of my life has concerned itself with dissenting in areas where I cannot possibly make a real difference. It is silly, but it is an important silliness to me.


I even “know” the main artist/designer of Gobliins and Woodruff + the Schnibble, Pierre Gilhodes, perhaps my most significant living artistic influence, in facebook, but I don’t speak French and have never attempted to communicate with the person, and drawing his old dumb characters would be the perfect way to get his attention if I am going to be drawing other people’s old dumb characters anyway. So how did I come to make a scene from a property I have seen countless derivations of?


I had started this on April 6 2017, apparently the same day my father was hospitalized, when I was also, already, sicker than I recall ever having been, which I suppose could account for my unusual change in subject matter, and I put it away when, in a clearer state of mind, I wasn’t really sure why I was drawing it. But more recently I was looking for some drawing I could finish to place on the internet in a desperate grasp at attention, while my ongoing project on-goes without my having anything coherent to show for it. I saw this and forgot why I had STOPPED drawing it, suddenly taken by the idea of getting easy approval via one of the rare things I like that is still popular. Forgetting that the people who make it still popular are not actually as numerous or influential as they seem, and that I still need to get over the barrier of my having drawn it.

Yet inexplicably the final appears sparse and incomplete to me, and only now do I see the intense perspective flaws. This is why most of my drawings have flat perspectives and flagrantly unrealistic backgrounds. It is harder to see when those have gone horribly wrong and easier to fix when I do notice! I spent a number of hours trying to fix this after the stuff that was important was already set in place and somewhat unremarkable.

Additionally, I didn’t realize that the chubbier child, Elliott with two Ts, was supposed to have an overbite until I had already committed to most of that, and it never looked quite right again after the point where I “fixed” that.
A part of me says: draw it the way that looks right to you (me), since it is your picture and approximately 100% of people who will see this never analyzed the sprites close enough to recognize this who will also complain about that. That part of me typically loses.

As I sought the non-existent source artwork, I inadvertently learned of a 3d Secret of Mana “remake” and I have to say that is completely and wholly unnecessary, especially after Sword of Mana, the remake of SOM’s predecessor Final Fantasy Adventure, and perhaps my single most complained-about video game, though not necessarily in public. I wish the Square people would remake something that didn’t quite work, like Sword of Mana Secret of Evermore, or localize something that was never released in the US at all, like Romancing Saga or even Seiken Densetsu 3. Or better yet remake every mana game AFTER secret of mana, because as best as I can tell, none of them worked. Or betterer yet stop messing with old games and make a new game that uses a similar interface and graphical style, and acknowledge it is a ripoff but that the 1990s aesthetics have validity, and that without the data storage and processing limits of the 16-bit systems you can do better things with the style than were previously possible.

I kept this part out of the first post because once I mentioned sword of mana I realized I had eh over 1100 screenshots with mostly annoyed comments on them, and wondered what and how much I should say about it here now to sum up my gripes, but didn’t have the desire to deal with that at the last update.


But I don’t want to deal with it now, either, since Sword of Mana fills me with a passionate, disdaining ennui.

and fixating on specifics endlessly means I miss the point and spend ages getting nothing of importance done!



November 21, 2017
Look, I can see a little foul language maybe at a Wendy’s, but I hold a restaurant with real plants to a higher standard.

The animation I posted previously got way out of hand. As did my text description of how that happened. Neither of those should surprise you! However, it became somewhat inflammatory and it seemed unfair to have accompany a piece that I was paid for and was not hideous.

my usual method of illustrating is somewhat sculptural. I add material, subtract it and smush it around, until the shape looks correct, and only then fill in small visual details. Some things may be a bit off until the very end, but the important matter is that the ideas and gestures and all are clear early on, so that the buyer can trust me (or I can finishe me) to finish the piece. At the example stages of this animation, I operated in a similar fashion, which was not good!


I prioritized making sure the sequence was legible, and not that all details were accurate or that shapes were consistent, saving that for later. But in animation, every object needs (at least to me) to flow into the other. Having the flow function before the details are correct is minimally meaningful, because every instance of any detail may need to be altered, and that may change how it moves. For example, if one aspect, such as the wings, is the wrong size or shape, that would require much correction, and may even need new frames. But if another aspect, such as the ears, were already correct, adding in new frames may mess with their flow! AND getting too strict with the flow in some places may disrupt areas where it had previously been casual (and already approved of by the instigator, Goldquiver, mind you), such as the leaf-arms. When I added the spots toward the end (and Goldquiver had already not cared that I hadn’t included them), their movements were very smooth from frame to frame, and suddenly the casual leaves were unacceptable to me! But moving the leaves meant messing with the area where I had lain the spots. AND I had already drawn the shading on top of it, so the shading had to move


Oh yes, the shading type is new. For each individual frame, another layer is above it with translucent shadows. In the past animation I always shaded directly on the base drawing. I thought this would be faster! However, I had already, for clarity, used two different shades of green to differentiate the sides of the leaves, so some point there are competing shadow methods!!! oh! And it still does not look as natural or tight as adding it directly, since I tend to refine the edges while shading, and I would use all included colors in order of their values. In aseprite, the software I used for most of this, adjustment layers function independent of the set color palette. Which looks more “realistic,” since the shadows fall consistently, but cartoons are not supposed to be realistic, and pixel art looks more competent and orderly when the colors are limited and used to maximum efficiency. The dark brown that covers the light brown is not IN the color palette, so I cannot use it in a full orderly value sequence!


At this stage from 5 days before I declared it “done,” and probably a week before I was actually done with it, I had already started to color it, even though the details were not all in. Unfortunately I often cannot see if something is wrong or correct until after I have begun coloring it. A pruhfeshinul animator might tell you that after the first version of the sequence you need to make a fully realized sketch version, and ONLY after that do you go BACK to the first frame again and put definitive lines on that. I never do that! I always think it will take too long!

Or they might tell you something else entirely; I only knew one person who worked in animation, and could not find steady employment or just hated it and didn’t actually draw all that meticulously since MOST cartoons are ugly these days since they are all designed by people who can’t draw at all and I think that person works at a pet supply store and likes it better. As much as I complain about them, I still find illustrated animal folk easier to deal with in my own home than real ones.


I had, for this animation, been testing an unusually-designed bit of software called Tvpaint. Its animation mode is great but everything else is weird, like arbitrarily so. It is designed, or rather “developped” by French people and more importantly, probably in Linux. Linux software is unintuitive since the programmers think they are “avante-garde,” which is French for annoying on purpose. TVPain’s selection tool is separate from the well-disguised selection movement tool, making movement a sub-function of “transform” rather than transform AND move sub-functions of selection, even though you can’t transform without selecting first, and you cannot select with the transformer!

Hey! I am saying BAD things about you! I am NOT complimenting you! Vous ette un homme ridicule! (Oui vrai)

And Tvp has “Erase” as a toggled mode on drawing tools instead of a dedicated tool which covers more ground than drawing tools, which I have only seen prior in Krita, which is also for Linux. Imagine if you used a pencil and the eraser was also sharpened to a point. You would have to trace your wrong lines exactly to remove them. I have used Krita, since somebody once gave me a Linux computer with Gimp installed on it, and Gimp is worse than that, unless you want to draw stuff that looks like velvet. Krita is good for drawing but laughs in your face if you want to correct a mistake.

Also I am still using computers from that person and I like those computers but I find linux to be very silly.

TVPaint additionally has its view-adjustment mode require you to press ALT instead of SPACE, contrary to everything else ever made, including Krita and Gimp, and it cannot be changed to space. I can assign something else to space but there is no point because I am just going to do it by accident when trying to move the view because I forgot I have to press alt. But TVPaint’s animation mode is good, though it is not designed for making GIFs, so I had to export it to Aseprite for coloring. Aseprite is not good for detail correction, since it has no tablet pressure sensitivity! And the wings were full of details! Oh oh oh!


But every challenge is an educational experience. Requests like I have had in the past should be easier by comparison, since I know yet more mistakes to avoid. Or perhaps people will continue to ask me for more complicated things, which would also be good, since completing them means I have become more capable. And if nobody asks for anything that is also good since I have loads of other things to do! I shall have the last laugh whatever the case!

I actually like TVPaint better than a program highly recommended among the people I sort of know but don’t talk to me that I don’t talk to called “Toon Boom,” and I like TVP better first of all since it doesn’t have “boom” in its name, which is a sound effect that should never be used as a word except to describe the sound-effect unless you are a scumbag.

And also because toonboom actually ISN’T designed for linux, and instead of holding Macintosh/Windows art software in contempt it holds -ALL- art software in contempt and it goes even further out of its way to be discomforting to use. And its tutorials spend five minutes explaining all the self-explanatory GUI elements and then say essentially “ok draw your animation now” and then remind you that the author works in the Animation Industry and they talk like their mouths are full of pizza but you can’t mute them since they don’t provide captions and if you learned to animate on a computer and think this software is needlessly uncomfortable you are WRONG and should quit and go to school again and start over and learn the RIGHT way and respect your elders who are actually 16 year-olds with millionaire parents who sent them to expensive art schools in-utero and only let them watch the Disney channel and play Mario Kart and are the most boring uninspired people on earth and are totally oblivious because our contemporary culture values derivative “mash-up” fan homages more than effort and thought.

Krippendorf, if I had actually BOUGHT the thing I would be furious (except you can’t buy it because it is subscription only).

Anyway, overall I think it went well!

Although another program called “Opentoonz” with a Z is totally free and has a similarly incomprehensible interface, and that also makes me angry. It makes me almost as angry as a slinky with one coil section that is off for no knowable reason and that can never be corrected.

So i have to do this to it and make it a total loss to stop from spending hours absentmindedly fiddling with it and making no progress. Software with no physical component that I can download for free legally repeatedly gives me no such luxury!



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
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Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: August 8, 2020
Charmlatan sez:
Ah, maybe things can be more peaceful with the dope restricted, I want to imagine. Stay sane!
August 8, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
Stay sane is definitely a more applicable well-wish. If the dope were listening and...
August 8, 2020
Charmlatan sez:
However, could the dope(s) ear be getting bigger because it simply wants to listen? If so, what...
August 8, 2020
Charmlatan sez:
But what if passively wishing you safety is the only thing keeping the Dope of Darkness at bay?
August 7, 2020
pindohodo sez:
That’s too bad! Losing your electricity is a whole lot of no fun, since most of the fun...
July 21, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
Thank you for approving! I don’t like to compare this to an “alpha build”...
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    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same