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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
June 10, 2019
Ken is aware of Bison’s villainy and seeks to defeat him. During the events of Street Fighter II, Bison brainwashed Ken into Violent Ken.


page 3-39, of the questionable comic strip. One of those pages whose construction caused me to question if I really have any business making comics, but it is almost all related to drawing the environments. At least there are more interesting colors on this page. Looking back, I generally can’t tell which older pages also made me feel that way, but comparing the dates between them is often alarming. The first time I drew the gnomes was seven years ago on a page which was only about half a day ago, “story”wise!

I must have made hundreds of character “designs” over the years, and many of them have appeared in pointless illustrations. so why is it that whenever i introduce a new character in the comic strip i end up having to figure out how it looks on that very page?

When trying to figure out what squirb looked like, my goal was to draw something that would make sense for elpse to want to beat it up. Hopefully I will think of a properly stupid thing to have hanging from its neck rather than a green gold medal, but for the moment it seems of minimal importance! The creature itself is yellow, and indeed most of my secondary characters end up being yellow, presumably since none of the primary ones are, but I do not always plan in advance for them to be.



May 26, 2019
“We’ve recently made an offer to quickly repatriate the waste back to Canada for disposal and we await a formal response from the Philippines government,” said spokesman Adam Austen.


comic page 3-38 of that is here. As usual I expect to clean it more later.
This is the fastest I have gotten a new one out in quite some time, but of course hardly anything happens here! And worse, there may seem to be a bit of a time anomaly since nemitz seems to be very nearby on the previous page, yet is unseen by elpse on this one, but I did not explicitly indicate how far away nemitz had gone. But this will always be confusing, i fear, but I have been majorly confused by less excusable things than this in Tintin and even Garfield comics and people who hate those comics don’t over this.

amitz this page i realized that the building i have been drawing behind the fence has a largely different design (although still a bland rectangle) when i have drawn it visible from the “street.” as that design appears in the first printed book i wonder if i will make myself change the views of it here in section 3, prospective book 5 (or 6?) or just the one view of it in section 1 and hope that nobody who got one of the first printed books cares that much. hm i suppose i will go with whatever takes more work and provides less benefit.
the same section 1 view and also a section 3 view based on it show that building as being much too far from the fence for elpse’s second-biggest fan (after the dope) to have such a good view of the proceedings. unless it is actually a very large creature roughly twice the size of elpse. but i like the idea of it being meeply. also i implied it was afraid of having nemitz thrown at it ON THE VERY SAME PAGE. which means AT LEAST the blame for screwing this up is on the me from a few years ago who drew the buildings far apart AND then indicated they were actually pretty near each other. Although the blame for shifting the creature’s window considerably further from the back of the parking lot goes to the more recent me. But a meep like that may be friends with and have access to the apartments of other meeps. That blue character is very important because apart from its remarks i have thoroughly run out of background “gags” for this scenery.

Another matter: if I were a more vulgar person I could show lope “disposing” of the toilet paper note after eating all the muffins in the first section. But I do not like to think of anybody using toilet paper in that “world,” especially “clean” characters like lope. I think toilet paper (and toilets) are funny in appearance and name but not in their function. There is stuff wrong with me!



May 18, 2019
So do not thou put forth thy specious pleas and clever words to me now, for one word of mine will lay thee low.


page 3-37 of the comic strip, one more where the layout changed way too many times to be time-efficient, and the backgrounds are increasingly turning into mush, even apart from the roads. But I have sorted through my mess of a script document where there was a considerable pileup of overlapping and redundant dialog setups so it should at least be relatively smooth going forward until the next disaster zone.



March 27, 2019
They meet as adults in 1913 and describe and share some of their erotic adventures with each other.


page 35 of this. the same complaints from me as usual still apply.

this might be the first time all of those idiots have appeared in the same scene. the way this went though hopefully it does not happen again for a while!



February 25, 2019
Ernest is the head elf and the most friendly of the bunch. He runs the workshop with an iron fist.


page 34 of part 3 of that dumb old comic strip.
I probably wrote more text about this page than any other and feel like showing less of it than ever!


this script is so old, elpse initially said “get up, ramus.” Ramus is a character from the video game Lunar Silver Star Story Complete Absolute Total, who is unprepared for the life of a video game hero and gets knocked down a lot. lope was also initially quoting ramus’s “blarrrrgh.” I played Lunar Silver Star, in 2006, and last mentioned it, specifically with regard to Ramus, in 2007. I don’t remember if I wrote this part of the script then but I was certainly un-old enough to think I could put an obscure exchange like that in here and have anyone know what it meant, even though I didn’t actually post a screenshot of Ramus saying “blarg” anywhere because I didn’t think it was an interesting-enough line for that, so it most certainly was not interesting enough to allude to out of context nearly 12 years after the game was already a 7 year old remake of a game from 1992 which wasn’t even particularly innovative THEN. Also the one time a voice actor says his name it is pronounced “ray-mis” and I always say “ram-us.” I made myself obsessed with Lunar because I knew, at that time, other people who had been obsessed with it when they were children and I thought they would link to my website if I liked the same stuff they did. If they read my comic strips in 2006 they certainly don’t now! Probably.


Oddly enough one of them specifically denigrated the game Breath of Fire in favor of Lunar and I said nothing in its defense even though I legitimately liked Breath of Fire and still like it better and I don’t know that I have mentioned it even one time in the half-my-life of having this website. I don’t even have any screenshots from it since I last played it before I made this website or meticulously documented everything I did.


Literally the last time I played it, my computer had an MS-DOS based infrastructure. Three to four times as much time has passed since I last played it than had passed between the last time I played it on real hardware and the first time I played it in an emulator, which I thought at the time was a long time!


I may even have stolen pog’s name from it! Although I only remember being surprised to see the name in the game years after stealing it if I stole it, not actually doing so. All this is not to say I resent Lunar –I was able to make a forced infatuation be sincere back in 2006– or that Breath of Fire isn’t made of problems that only a childhoodded fixation can disregard (and I may resent BOF instead for making me steal POG from it), but of all the things I make, the bimshwellian comicoid least of all I ordinarily wonder who I am trying to please with it and why, but today I did!

Also lope being felled occurred, initially, during the altercation with the robots, but when I got to that point I decided the robots should just get beaten up without doing anything. Inexplicably I liked the dialog enough that i contrived a way for lope to fall down in the same spot at a later point, and now that is a permanent part of the “story.” i only removed the ramus line literally on february 22 2019. Or rather made a copy of the dialog bauble and moved it to another layer and turned it unvisible in case I wanted to bring it back (and look, I just did). I had drawn it in knowing it didn’t belong there but not feeling like dealing with it. Thankfully I still think it is funny that lope is pitiful and a substitute line easily suggested itself, so this is only a major problem with regard to me knowing i cannot be trusted and that i will probably be 60 years old before i get through the entire script as it is now.


Of course, as I indicated, much of what goes on is NOT in the script. i get to a point and i change it, sometimes significantly; initially nemitz was intended to capture pog out of view, but when i got to this point I thought it would be funny if elpse’s goop fell on nemitz, so then elpse had to run off and capture pog itself, and that gave me an opportunity to acknowledge the dope still exists and also exhibit pog’s unusual attitude toward captivity.

But I do not want to drop anything I think of for any reason and so try to think of in-character ways for them to behave illogically to accommodate script pieces that are no longer relevant. In this case, lope thinking that the goop-covered nemitz is a ghost (and at the same time avoid saying “I’m soooo dead”). From a long term stand point, do I really believe that lope really believes that ghosts are real or that itself was well and truly dead? I did not think about it that deeply. But I knew “wow I am sooooo dead” is obviously not how lope talks by the time I got here, even when I still thought elpse might call lope “ramus.” I wrote that so long ago I did not have a solid grasp of how lope talked or just how foolish it was and in what ways. But NOW I wonder: does lope live in constant fear of death and undead spirits? What occurred to make it be preoccupied with that? I know, or think I know, that nobody is going to DIE in this comic strip, and have worried about my ability to introduce matters of consequence as a result, but I did not want to face the issue on the big punchable nose either, since it is too permanent an occurrence to add on a whim unless you are making something stupid like Dilbert that isn’t supposed to be consistent or not contradict itself. A hypothetical future version of me with a clearer mind may think a character death is necessary or even devise an alternative that is not strictly “death” as it applies to real people but without relying on conventional cartoon judeo-christian afterlife tropes that have no business applying to dumb old lope who I won’t even let have a christmas tree, or even some of the other innumerable copout ways American comic books have, often on whims, undone once-significant or equally whimly deaths. And that version of me would then also have to determine if there are supernatural forces which have interest in or authority over death and life. The present me is not qualified and so should avoid topics which lead to that one!


additionally lope’s new comment about ghosts agitates pog, who now has no reason to be this bored by the dialog. Fortunately pog has a looser concept of reality than lope so I do not need to wonder about why it is afraid of ghosts.

Pog’s boredom complaint came about because consistently in this section of the comic strip i have worried that i had more dialog than interesting visuals could be made to accompany. But again and again, and indeed again, had to strain to cram in all the visuals i came up with. However, now a script revision that I added due to the boringness of the script was made irrelevant by a future revision. That is so convoluted, crowded and broken I am surprised now that I didn’t keep it in!

Beyond all that, this page is one that is very hard to get working without layout swapping or dialog bauble stem crossing because there are so many characters stuffed into it. Ordinarily you can switch around where characters are to facilitate better dialog flow by zooming in, zooming out, or going to the next page, but I don’t like doing those things! i had in fact gone to a bit of trouble to switch the layout already; initially the viewpoint matched the previous pages, with the dialog positioned to suit that, and then I realized that would mean drawing the back of this parking lot 12 more times and I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to draw this side either but it at least is plainly a different page.

I should just put the word “trivia” at the top of a page every time I am conflicted about the overall relevance of its contents.



February 9, 2019
Grimaldi played Miniature Clown opposite his father, who played “Adult Clown”.[9]


page 33 of part 3 of this. One good thing does happen, but not much el[p]se. It took me less than two weeks to make, though, which is good, I hope, and not just reflective of my shoddy work on the backgrounds and the already mentioned not much occurring. The only thing in my favor is that I can hold a thought for twenty years. I think usually web comic people hit their peak within two years and finish everything they ever planned on doing within ten. I don’t have to/can’t beat anybody, but eventually they will all retire or move to endeavors that I am not also trying to do, unless battling for the last piece of breathable air becomes a common activity in the near future.



December 26, 2018
The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation is a 2010 sequel to the ABC Family 2009 movie The Dog Who Saved Christmas.


You may need to click at that twice for it to be remotely legible. i will need to make a separate section on the regular comic sub-website for these because increasingly they are not able to be read when reduced to a degree that fits here! And there are things wrong with this to needlessly point out apart from that.
I thought I could save time but not obsessing over the visuals, since this is stupid anyway, but it still ended up taking days, even unfussed. Or actually it took a year since it is based on opposing, non-acknowledging trash-content site posts which I saw last year, in search of what I cannot remember. People can find ways to be authoritative, elitist and condemnatory about any topic. Really the first box without the “argue” statement would have sufficed.



December 11, 2018
The cover gained some controversy to some fans claiming that the robot killed the members and also, retailer Kmart refused to sell it.[13] fans were upset that a huge robot killed the band and the record label released the album anyway, with the picture glorifying the act.


The second (and first also) “issue” of my comic books can now be ordered from http://www.indyplanet.us/bimshwel
It features 36 needlessly dense pages, artwork superior to my photography, considerably more legible lettering than the first book and NO DOPES ((actually there is one dope on the inside back cover, don’t tell anyone).

The linked page has them for 8 dollars, which may feel a tad excessive for a comic book but most comic books there have less content per page and eight fewer of them. More panels stuffed into the the same space is not necessarily “better” but I think it suits what I am doing better than the other way would have! Or at least it had better since I sure am not going to change it after all that. And then it would end up being a 48 page book and even more expensive!

Of course it can still be browsed for free up to and beyond that point also on the internet, but people on the internet are peculiar sometimes so I offer both options to them.

ALSO: if you dwell outside the federated republic of United Statia and want this for some reason but think the international shipping cost is exorbitant (I sure do), please contact me directly at [email protected] and I can send one to you through rinkety dinkity postal mail, although I could not guess when it would get to you! This is a fairly stupid time of year to try and mail things.


However, I would have gotten this out of my way much sooner if I could! “Currently, it’s taking *at least* 4-6 weeks from when a book ships to when it goes live” eventually struck me as meaning: “NOTHING will happen BEFORE 4 weeks and afterward it could be any length of time. weeks months years.” the “-6” is misleading. it has no meaning.
I only found out the book was finally available during a cursory check on it before I wrote a second annoyed request for information; the robot never contacted me!


Gimme a break, robot. That “i was driving to the bathroom when you called” story isn’t going to cut it this time. What kind of idiot would make a robot that even needs to do that? This smiling moron should be able to interface directly with the robot car instead of needing to operate external controls!


Another more worrisome matter: It has been brought to my attention that after months of obsessively relettering the internal text, I left out the M in “bimshwellian” on the FRONT COVER of the newish comic book! Order now before I fix that, and be the owner of a rare collectors’ item. Apart from the huge pile of them I ordered for my own purposes months ago and the fact that I might not get around to changing it at all.



November 27, 2018
1983 took a noticeable downturn, with the laugh track being considerably muted and poorly edited. By 1984, the editors corrected this problem, with the laughs reverting back to 1982 minus the effective titter track.


page 3-32 of the the questionable comic strip
did you notice at one point that the lighting flips all the way around? i started drawing it correctly, then thought it was wrong and flipped it around. But once I thought “this lighting looks really nice” i knew that meant i had screwed up. And so for once decided to leave it that way, because you probably DIDN’T notice the lighting flipped around. and if you did, you can potentially imagine that elpse just ran around the block, even though the front of the apartment building is still visible. I only recognize it as the front because I hate drawing it so much and always need to use a reference from its regrettable non-designed initial appearance. Lighting can change but ugly architecture cannot.



November 13, 2018
And even the toilet comes to life to voice her displeasure over the experience. After hearing this, Theodore tells the truth and vows to never play with the toilet again, and La-Lu congratulates him and later gets him ready for his nap.

page 31 of part 3 of the comic strip.


I planned this with a blow gun without really thinking about it. When I came back to it two weeks ago that seemed bland. I couldn’t think of anything to change it to except a sling shot, but then remembered i already used a slingshot on a page that i suppose realistically was not all that long ago. I also considered but did not draw a tiny bow-and-arrow but justified reverting to the blow gun on the grounds that kumquat looks funny opening its mouth like that. But then I had to tilt its angle more toward the viewer to seem less like it was deliberately aiming away from elpse, and consequently made it look less funny!

I also had to mirror the layouts over flow of information concerns and hopefully this will not screw up the page after this which I already laid out with the expectation that kumquat was attacking from the right instead of left!



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