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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
February 8, 2021
locksnake should keep inquisitive hands to themselves


with the amount of words in there it had better be self explanatory. however you may need to click at it to be shown a more legible version.
The main point this sets out to prove is to myself; often complaining about things with words is less effective than using pictures of words, but and so I needed to try it like this to finally shut myself up about it! Although having said that it is generally unwise to believe anything that a snake tells you or tells me.
I suspect it may have especially missed the mark because the first, so far the only “like” this has in its favor (for I am yet paranoid enough to check) within the facebook is from one of the specific people whose confounding behavior inspired it.



February 2, 2021
The transcription factor “forkhead box O” (FoxO) has been identified as a critical driver of the continuous self-renewal of Hydra.[17]

page 50 of part 3 of this


initially I drew a vague gift basket but then I looked back and realized the basket was already in a box with an address label on pages that are already printed and thus inadvisable to alter, and it also wouldn’t make sense for between the old pages and now that box to have been placed inside ANOTHER box that also had the address on it. At least in any other comic strip it wouldn’t, but there is already enough here that nobody but me understands so I need not introduce additional layers of that just so I can have a pointless “reveal” that I probably won’t get to for another two years that is nothing more than a pink box with a basket inside it!

Still the matter is unfortunate because this creature looks VERY stupid being proud of itself for holding that.



December 24, 2020
The term is associated with Scotland in the Early Modern Era, being attested from about 1600. The term was spelled dork or dirk during the 17th century,[4]

it has nothing to do with christmas but it is what I have. Very likely you will have to click on it to go to a more legible version, so be sure to not do that.


this attitude exists but the depicted situation is imaginary, since that is the only way anyone, even a dopey purple lizard, would invite that snake anywhere, and neither would likely be permitted in most dining establishments anyway, due to covid, naturally.

thanksh, instagram. You know what doesn’t prompt a “link to a health source”? actively encouraging the purchase and pouring of designer poisons into your mouth.

Early on I considered having the lizard be lope (the annoying lizard from the longer and deceptively ongoing comic strip), but I imagined that thing would totally commit to pretending to like alcohol and not admit it didn’t if it chose to do that. Also the pathetic snake exists is a somewhat more mundane world than lope does so that its experiences are slightly more relevant to reality. Lope would not have access to “beer” and would have to settle for something with a stupider made-up name like Glapzo.
it incorporates a composite of responses from an anonymous comment thread of people claiming to not be able to stand the taste of alcohol but drinking it anyway and not explaining why they would do that and seemingly not even realizing how little sense that makes, apart from one who claims to just be after a “buzz.” I would post specific examples but I don’t feel like entering image code and being reminded of other things to complain about for the rest of the day when this is already two days late! If you can drink it at ALL that means you CAN stand the taste, so your experience is different, unless you have willfully longterm suppressed your ability to taste it, which also means your experience is different since that is ridiculous to do unless you work in espionage or something like that and if you did you would have the discipline to resist leaking out bits of information related to it.

Some people live their whole lives like that, doing totally optional stuff they hate, acting like they don’t have a choice, and forced laughing while explaining it. I can’t stand that. Such as anyone who complains about having to watch idiotic commercialized “educational” television with their small children. YOU had the power to not expose your children to garbage. “oh i’m so out of shape since I haven’t been able to get to The Gym ha ha.” You can exercise anywhere! You don’t need to pay a membership fee to go to some dreadful over air-conditioned gender role-enforcing dump and be seen in embarrassing poses and clothing.
And I don’t want to hear about the long lines at disney world. Oh excuse me, at “Disney.” There are other less-attended theme parks that cost substantially less without being reasonably priced so you can still go fashionably into debt to arrange a trip and are probably closer to your home and don’t directly finance the acquisition and diluted overexposure of formerly tolerable media franchises! Ah oh or the advertisements on spotify. You can GET this music yourself and listen to it whenever you want in any order you want, and you can also listen to music that isn’t in spotify at all. I bring ear phones with me when I go shopping to save myself from having to complain about the terrible music in stores. I have no tolerance for bad food and bad music. I couldn’t pretend to like it if I wanted to, but I also couldn’t ever want to.



October 27, 2020
don’t forget to ask about upgrading to the hopper

11-2-2020 522pm: i make political posts regularly on the twitter website and it never gets me anywhere, since while I have nothing pleasant to say about Trump I can’t bring myself to praise Biden, either, and nobody cares if you have nuanced thoughts or doubts. and anyway the GARBAGE is so constant I don’t have time to make proper website posts about it, which is thus probably for the best!
//////////////////////


the comic strip pages that “will” comprise “book 4” have been touched up, re-lettered and reordered to mostly an extent that I feel is adequate. I say mostly because I decided actually getting them sorted out and in order and on the website and pushing down the previous utterly un-art-related website entry but that might appear to a casual observer as if I was taking credit for the plumbing company marketing I was actually complaining about was more important than correcting every single ancient graphical blemish that I just today realized I hadn’t fixed yet.
Also there are now thirty pages! It still seems like too few but it is more than there were.

as previously noted, there are two new pages, meant to come after what had previously been 62 and is now 49, but not immediately after, thus it being pushed back 13 spaces. There is also a new half page, partially on what is now 56 and what is now 60 but only of the existing very crowded content being spaced out more, and then the section ends a half-page later than it previously did, to rest on an actual revelation and not the robot idea that I ultimately did nothing with, still working out to end at the end of a page due to the restructuring I already mentioned!
consequently the next section starts a half page later than it previously did, but I filled the half page in a way that I initially hoped would aid clarity and presentation but may not have accomplished that, but since nothing was removed to make room for it, it does not necessarily make a great deal less sense than before.



September 19, 2020
after taking careful measurements of perceptual responses, he realized that no symmetrical shape would do, so he reorganized his system into a lumpy blob.[44]


wurf this took long enough.
two supplemental pages for book 4 of this, showing something that is mildly alluded to later, since I introduced the idea of these dumb blobs so long ago without a plan, thinking a plan might arise, and then it never did and I forgot about them for a while. They are placed as 63 and 64 for now just so they will come after 62 but I want to put 62 earlier.

what is presently page 3-01 i may break into two pages since it is too cluttered for what it shows and it may work as 2-65 instead so the book gets and extra page, and then also i can end on a revelation with actual implications rather than the lurking robot since that ultimately is a non-issue.

Somehow it took me two weeks to draw these pages even though hardly anything is happening. The machine design was frustrating and I worried it looked too simplistic, yet the pages are still hopelessly cluttered. In fact I had a totally different idea for this insert from august 2019 but then COULDN’T FIND IT nor any sort of script describing it when I finally got around to dealing with it a year later, until a few days ago when I was looking for something else. And I couldn’t remember anything ABOUT it, either. In fact I eventually convinced myself I hadn’t made it at all in order to make myself give up looking for it. That it was too long to fit on one page is the SOLE detail that I recalled and that prevented me from totally believing it didn’t exist. I seem to have more anxiety about things not fitting on pages than what they actually are.
What this IS, whatever it is, it does not completely contradict what I did use, so it can be used as a foundation for a similar page later. probably for the best that I didn’t find it, for the book 4 spot, since this openly shows (or would once it was drawn better) kumquat becoming kaklabesk, and also some baser form which i have no recollection of designating as part of the process. since i fussed so much over the way i presented kumquat being kaklabesk in recent “book 6” pages, inserting an earlier page where i show it more blatantly would seem counterintuitive. Which would also be consistent since nothing I do is intuitive but there is still plenty on today’s pages that doesn’t work so don’t be concerned about that.



June 24, 2020
He drives a pickle-shaped car and is prone to vehicular accidents.


page 3-49
of the bimshwellian comic strip. This section is visually complicated and frustrating to draw despite not communicating much, as is typically the case.



June 3, 2020
Austin Police arrested the woman for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. In addition to the cheese grater, she also wielded a knife, police said.


a twitter-inspired image, not a judgement so much as an observation. from sunday, before “black out tuesday” during which numerous people posted pictures of black squares to show their belief that black lives matter and/or to stage a Kazimir Malevich-inspired art exhibit.


Combating white supremacists with white suprematists is certainly an approach I would not have considered.
my intent is not to judge anyone for not wanting to be an activist; not every person posting is in the united states and we’ve seen riots before, but the dichotomy is bizarre. I don’t think posting hashtags, saying you “stand with” someone or “going silent” accomplishes anything important, but if it helps some people feel like they are part of something positive, and maybe some even get a legitimate positive feeling out of it, that is good, right? I know that I wouldn’t, I would feel like a silly person being led by a force I don’t understand or necessarily have the means to identify or trust so I don’t. I tried doing that for a few years trying to please internet activist sorts that I knew and I wasn’t good at it, I didn’t like trying to do something I wasn’t good at for no real reason, and I don’t know any of those people now.

as implied, I have encountered NUMEROUS videos of police clobbering people in the street with seemingly no provocation. and mixed in with them are occasional videos of non-police doing awful things. I think there is nothing noble about ganging up on people even if they came looking for a fight. The goal of these protests, ultimately, is to reduce police violence, and ANYTHING counter to that empowers sorts who advocate more brutal policing, and they’re forever seeking to be. I see far more of the “bad police” videos but as long as there are a few “bad non-police” videos the people who fixate on THAT angle won’t acknowledge any other type. I remember a few years ago when it was trendy to say and sell shoddy merchandise branded with “punch a nazi!” But they aren’t exactly wearing swastika armbands and executing minorities in public, and if you do punch somebody who displays mildly nazi-like tendencies, and it is RECORDED, bet on any context being edited out so you look like you are against free speech. Of course if such a person punches you first the video will be labeled as justified by the same people who would criticize you for punching first but it won’t be at risk of changing anyone’s mind.

I think it is valid to point out that USAmerica’s thuggish law enforcement did not start with Trump, but he is held up by many supporters as a Obama/Clinton antithesis despite seeming to double down on and enjoy their worst traits. His “virtue” is his emotional honesty and no other kind. He tells you he is going to send soldiers to clear protesters, and by bolly he does it, and doesn’t pretend that he wishes he didn’t. It is as refreshing as getting sprayed in the face with lachrymator agents can be.


And if you’re going to loot a place, you are considered a criminal whatever the case, so go to a best buy and take something that you couldn’t buy legally for less than the cost of a doughnut
if you are seriously considering robbing a dollar store please just look for a vending machine to beat up instead.

dollar tree supposedly took $22 billion in revenue in 2017 and has over fifteen thousand stores, so they can handle being burgled, but it isn’t time well-spent and the individual employees aren’t getting paid enough to deal with that.

THAT sentiment, in the blue text, though not the exact wording, was from Thursday may 28, before somebody who I knew five years who had not engaged with me previously on that topic or really any other recently responded “people are getting murdered” and was done with me without any further discussion. Nothing like “hey person I’ve known for half a decade, traded art and had prolonged conversations with, I think this joke is tasteless. Are you unaware of how serious this situation is? Are you getting news from an automated aggregator of websites that are slow to update and may have agendas rather than righteous retweet chains? Perhaps I can provide you with insight that you lack.” I may still be dwelling on it. That doesn’t mean I think I am oppressed now, but I also don’t believe that attitude, turning on anyone who isn’t as dedicated to saying all the “right” things as you are helps anybody, and it’s impossible to know which tragic world events that affect other world events are bad enough to temporarily get fun outlawed and which, like the by now regular mass shootings and unprecedented natural disasters, aren’t. the fact is that nobody can know and care about everything, and nobody does, and anyone who acts like they do is full of beans and only does it when instructed to do so by “influencers” as they are now called who I couldn’t possibly keep track of unless I spent every day doing that and I won’t. I think communication should precede condemnation if the possibility exists.
Perhaps this is new because the murder was filmed and unmistakable. Alright but if anyone is awful now they (or I) didn’t just abruptly become that way because the dominant public sentiment suddenly shifted.

and then yesterday June 2 a 77 year old retired police captain David Dorn trying to help out his friend who owned a pawn shop by checking on the place was murdered by a looter stealing a television set. and I wondered: would a thief who was willing to shoot someone dead robbing a best buy be less likely to face opposition if they had robbed a dollar tree? Which is a ludicrous thing for me to wonder since I am not responsible for the action of someone who was willing to kill anyway unless I have advance access to that person plus awareness of that intent. And I didn’t! A joke in bad taste does not make a person bad. I also think back to a “few” years ago when I was angry at somebody for supporting an artist who, to seem cool, presumably, espoused nazi-flavored antagonism. This is not the same thing. I am not setting out to rile people up and then pretending I wasn’t usually.

here is a theological question that not enough people are asking.


this may raise even more



May 30, 2020
i forbid you to talk to or consort with that duck

oh shoopf forgot to post something again, busy busy busy.


I can’t believe anyone still talks to that weirdo.

you can theoretically imagine this is culturally relevant to do with protests/riots except in the respect that I am thoroughly unable to talk about it without screwing up. it helps that anybody can find a version of “facts” that matches their personal agenda and then they feel entitled to become indignant at someone else who doesn’t believe in or simply hasn’t internalized the full rundown of those facts and since neither of them is actually THERE or close to it they can be as abusive as they want and not risk having a personal experience that gives them a valid perspective on it. Every other doofus on the premises is recording SOMETHING so one way or another a more cohesive picture will eventually emerge and be undeniable. I hope.

There is someone in my family who has been saying for ten years that a “race war” is imminent. He so believes in that as to sometimes come across like he WANTS that, and he seems to selectively repeat other people’s material which in his mind aims at that conclusion. And you can’t attempt to say otherwise lest he start yelling at you about secret pedophile networks, which you also can’t refute because he’ll say fake news bill gates george soros operation fast and furious and it is as possible to talk to someone like that as it is pleasant. But I think giving up on this sort of person only further encourages extremist viewpoints, and eventually they get to the point where they actively engage in race war-fare.



May 15, 2020
there’s only one person who can tie up people with a rattlesnake: texas pete!


a pathetic snake loses face in public

initially i put some stereotype cactus in the background but it was less funny to me if the location seemed to switch. It could transform in the same place, have different lettering and texas doors but not BE another place. The horse-like figures are a hold-over from the cactus phase but not as out of place as the cactus was and I felt no great impetus to remove them. i could have given one a shopping cart but then i think maybe it should look like a little covered wagon and that might be too distracting and that was rather late in the process anyway by which point I was already tired of changing things that did not matter, which typically means two more hours of changing things.

most of the comments on this were positive, and I am glad to get comments at all, especially since the snake ones tend to be complaining about people who comprise the little audience I have, but one did say “the snake should probably know better than to put other people at risk with such a weird and long-term illness!”
which seems to imply that I the real person who isn’t a naked neon cartoon serpent is most definitely out and about breathing diseases every which way. And this sentiment may be harbored by more people than spoke up. Which is normal, these snake comics tend to be misconstrued and this is a fairly mild case. I should move on and not worry about it but that isn’t what I do and usually there isn’t a rough implication that I possibly kill people.

I respont “fortunately the snake is fictional! it errs for my amusement. I don’t personally mess around with public masklessness, worried that someone else might think I have a problem, but I do feel silly unless I have a big hat with it.”
I understand that wearing a mask is more for the courtesy of others than actual personal protection, since you can have and be contagious with the virus before any symptoms manifest and you may in fact never get symptoms at all, and there could be CONSIDERABLY more carriers who are asymptomatic, and nobody who has been permitted to appear credible seems to know just how long you would remain contagious for or if you can get the virus a second time. I will wear the dumb mask if it aids in preserving what passes for order and doesn’t mess with my ability to function, even if people who think this whole mess is exaggerated or totally staged comprise a larger share of who I know than otherwise. I think kids who have been perfectly fine for a month should be allowed to play with other kids who also have been, attempting to forbid people from being outside at all unless they are employed or shopping is bizarre, and selectively forbidding the sale of certain items inside a store but not others, such as occurred in Michigan, is ludicrous and counterproductive since it inspires anger in people who want to be angry. If adults think their government is treating them like children they will disobey it and make a bigger problem, often like children. Without a plan to calm them down, and with a head of state who actively encourages them to not be calm, ostensibly well-meaning policies that don’t have a whole lot of potential at best can end up having none at all.

but i will wear a dumb mask!


I won’t buy one at an inflated price from a trendo brand-conscious profiteering scumbag who advocates more complacent childish behavior


and apparently I couldn’t even if I wanted to but there is no shortage of ways to pay extra to advertise what an imbecile I am.



April 25, 2020
Elfaria: A Fantastic Theater


page 48 of the bimshwellian comicoid.

the gnomes are regrettable but elpse was pretty regrettable for a long time and now I find it very amusing. The colors on this page at least are nice. i think they are nice!
i worried that the “kaiser monarchs,” the motorcycle gang-like assemblage the gnomes belong to was among my least inspired groups of characters, and maybe i was right because i just learned [thursday] that the ill-fated pixar film onward also features a “pixie biker gang” similar in appearance and presumably to some degree in behavior to the gnome collective. I look forward to people talking to me like I ripped that off in a few years.

ehhh my approach is still probably awkward and contrarian enough to not retroactively be construed as a rip-off of that by people who need to see everything i make in terms of recent media they consumed. Due to various factors including a worldwide pandemic that you may have heard about coinciding with its theatrical release, “onward” may also be one of the least-seen pixar films so i have even less to worry about. Even though the more people think i am inspired by recent media the more they accept what I do so perhaps I should encourage them to think that but I don’t like being liked like that!


my gnomes are more awkward than onward but at least I like them. I don’t like these at all.
According to this blurry picture and I didn’t want to go searching for more, “pixie dusters” is their name. Whereas i thought a gang name that directly alluded to my characters being gnomes was too on-the-comically oversized nose. However they like butterflies and “monarch” is a powerful-sounding type of butterfly, and then kaiser because i thought kaiser helmets were really funny for a bunch of years, hence the name.

I got to thinking about onward because i inadvertently read that pixar had paid whoever owns dungeons and dragons now to use a Beholder in the movie in some capacity, which made it necessary for me to skim its synopsis to be certain it wasn’t just doubling down on the wreck it ralph formula, but I think instead it is just quadrupling down on the pixar formula, which is essentially the same thing but the characters have smaller eyes and ugly little footless stump legs and prefer annoying existing songs to ones that they sing themselves. Prior to then i had seen pictures of the main characters and thought they looked sort of like greegorp and lactorp, the pointy-ears imbeciles from my beet cartoons but had no reason to presume the behaviors were similar.

LATER ON in the one other picture I saw, it became apparent to me that one of the characters is holding a drink bottle many times larger than itself, which would indicate the creatures are rodent-sized, which would make them QUITE different from my gnome gang. I would question why something that could fly would need a motorcycle or how at that size it would get one. you can’t just say “oh magic” to explain that because nothing else about it is magicy. I would accept and grant credibility to the gang if they mugged Runaway Ralph and Stewart Little during the film because disney can buy and use just about any character they want in any way they want but that would still only get vehicles for two of them.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

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Nowhere
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pc72
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them`s fightin` woids: February 16, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
You were still on the air back then so it is theoretically possible i was watching you while...
February 16, 2021
MADtv sez:
Wait, I thought I was your only source for crummy sketches!
February 15, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
They can’t even do it properly!
February 15, 2021
Purplespace sez:
The shady world of lizards delivering your packages!
February 10, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
It seems like a shortscented position to me; most likely hair has a variety of smells, and...
February 10, 2021
An appraiser of people sez:
Surely a person who likes how hair smells must be cool, and also new.
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