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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
August 1, 2020
Ghirardelli argued that the placement of the words on the packaging didn’t inherently convey something to consumers, but was rather only a logo: no one expects that “Dunkin’ Donuts” coffee will taste like donuts.


once up on top of a time i sketched out a dope and inadvertently overshaded it so that it appeared quite dark. It inspired me to opine
That dark dope is so stupid, it doesn’t even realize how evil it is. It doesn’t know the horrible, frightful powers of destruction it has. All it knows how to do is regular dope stuff: stomping around smiling at people. It doesn’t know that it can strangle people from a distance just by grasping at the air. It doesn’t know. It has no idea. The forces of darkness were wasted on it.
This is not that dope. This is a rough approximation of it made from my memory of the dark dope. If I produced a digital copy of that dope at that time it is not known, but possibly I feared for my safety.

well forget that dope. A few years ago I found two of these reusable shopping bags in a closet within my domicile. I liked the idea of going to new stop and shop with a bag from another era covered in pictures of products that aren’t made anymore and that are but have less ridiculous packaging. I think I had one successful trip before the degraded plastic started to fall apart, so I decided to store unused picture frames in them instead while they continued to shed and I have been gradually removing pieces of them from my chambers ever since then. I had occasion to think of it yesterday as I removed some of the last of those pieces and the closet I found them in also was being cleared of rubbish entirely. I might never have seen the bags if not for my proactive action; I doubt anyone else would realize what a treasure these were. As I noted, they are adorned with photographs of products that Stop and Shop management suggests you might purchase to put in it, such as

Dunkin Donuts cereal!



despite the picture on the box indicating that Fred the baker shrinks down to smaller than the bowl to make what are, to him, full-sized doughnuts for the cereal, this advertisement depicts him at full large size hand-making the miniature doughnuts using a tiny little rolling pin and doughnut-shape cutter, which I am sure is much more factually accurate.

As I was thinking of Dunkin Donuts Cereal, particularly I thought of that corny nostril-clenching announcer beginning a statement by saying “chocolate cheeriosDunkin Donuts Cereal,” and especially that opening, enthusiastic “DUNK!” In my mind and apparently out from my mouth I heard it again and again, dunk dunk-dunk dunk dunk DUNK-in donuts cereal. Except eventually it somehow turned into dunkin dopes cereal.

DUNKIN DOPES CEREAL??!?!?!?

I reFUSE to eat dunkin dopes cereal. I refuse to even NOT eat it and simply coexist with it. In fact that may be worse. Unless you are “dunkin” those dopes into acid i see no point. i am sick of dumb cereals like raisin brain, mustid dope bran and now dunkin dopes. there is _N O_ excuse for this.
these people have no clue how many dumpsters dunkin dopes cereal can get tossed into. as far as *I* am concerned it can be nunkin NOPES cereal.
it makes me angry, that guy sounds so PLEASED when he says “dunkin dopes cereal.” and he didn’t even really say that! i only imagined he did! how do dopes have this kind of power? is this another scheme by the dope of darkness? only a dope would be dumb enough to want itself to get dunked and only the dope of darkness is mighty enough to make that happen. can you IMAGINE working at the Ralston-Purina dog and child food company and having to produce dunkin dopes cereal not because anyone will by it but simply because the most frightful and unstoppable dope in the nether-realm MADE you do it? And then you’ll have stacks and stacks of this dumb dope-flavored GARBAGE that nobody wants and that nobody will or SHOULD EVER want, because it is dumb and dope flavored.

It bothers me that the dope of light is TOO STUPID to destroy the dope of darkness, even with this news brought to light, its own element. If you placed those two in each other’s company all they would do is smile at each other, which is ALSO bad. Truly unacceptable. I need to take a nap, being awake now is insufferable.



April 1, 2020
I highly suggest wearing a filter mask; to protect the nose against satanists using demon transmission and physically veil shifting stagnant air into the room from hell, giving the perception of being able to “send people” “smells.”


I fear this mask business may be getting a bit out of hand


the original “plan” for this included additional mask-types but at that stage it looked to me more like a bad local mural or the cover to an issue of Cracked magazine than something that was supposed to be taken less-than-seriously. i laughed while making it but sometimes that is an instinct-like reaction to things that i am really worried about not being funny, like some previous images related to halloween, bad geico advertisements (all of them are bad) and my experience at the louvre museum.
The worst thing about the version I decided on is that after I added the dope on the shelf on the left I didn’t want to crop it out even though the composition works much better with that mostly empty space removed and EVERY composition works much better with dopes removed. Theoretically the older version is superior on account of lacking dopes, apart from the cart advertisement seeking to raise awareness of them, but ultimately it is ugly and trying too hard. The final version tries a more appropriate amount.



November 7, 2019
Rip Thomas is the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion, and his appearances on network television have been a thorn in the side of Brell, the head of the struggling World Television Network. Since Rip’s Wrestling show is huge on the ratings and WTN network ratings are slipping down in the ratings.


2-24-2009

11-6-2019

glad to see I have spent ten years well


the first one to me is funny, but the second one actually looks painful and makes me feel bad for the dope! even though the dope LIKES being beaten up by elpse. It also likes when I feel bad so then then I don’t but the dope also likes when I don’t feel bad and that isn’t fair! I do NOT authorize the dope to share in my non-misery! arrrrrrrrrrrgdopes.



September 25, 2019
“Me, it does not bother me too much but that guy, that is a very smart guy, but to wear his hat the way it is, I don’t think everybody likes that,” said Verner resident and self-declared NDP supporter Marcel Betty.

———————-
10-4-2019 337am: really not a good week! and not cheap either.
////////////////////////////////////


a suspicious painting about which I have too much to say to say it at this time. What is important is that for the time being mit is someone else’s problem.



September 5, 2019
he is arrogant due to his unbelievable inheritance

In may I offered “100 free sketches” at the twittor website in a completely misguided and cynical attempt to expand my audience, not considering that I might end up with an audience full of expansion fetishists, or that I do my best work with no audience.
it “worked,” but only when I put in considerably more effort than i expected to, and of course only when drawing other people’s characters and noncepts. Not helping were folks who gave such information that there would be no potentially satisfactory way to draw what they wanted that could be at all simple, but only a few of them seemed so entitled that they were absolutely depending on me to do so, and so as usual the fault was mine for assuming it would be easy and doing it anyway, even though never once has something been easy when it seemed like it would be. To help disperse the blame, I inserted less reputable creatures into some of the images that I might complain about instead, and those will be appearing here.


free sketch #11, for https://twitter.com/lazy__lucy! a moth person whose eyes in fact always have heart shapes in them, even when not approaching a desirable destination.
I meant to draw a fork and knife both wearing little bowties beside the plate but thankfully did not do so. I believe I outlined their shapes and then didn’t notice I was drawing over them when adding the table cloth and then forgot they had been present. I also did not notice that the bowtie meep on this occasion lacks arms and perhaps both of these things are evidence of order in the universe.


free sketch #14, https://twitter.com/WhiteDahlia_ , time traveling assassin spy, tracks down the leader of a mysterious but most assuredly nefarious organization. I presume it is not actually missing an eye but since it has both eyes closed when it is feeling particularly proud of itself and it never isn’t, eyesight gradually becomes irrelevant.


free sketch #27 for https://twitter.com/IanKeith ! Phaeux helps nemitz have a good time on the swing set

free sketch #?, https://twitter.com/HeathenHeanow/ (who actually draws better than i do)’s character, also named heathen, bestows upon nemitz the order of the banana and birthday cake-flavored ice cream with sprinkles. nemitz reacts with mits usual ingratitudinal demeanor.


free sketch #28! https://twitter.com/TheAusSpideyGuy s character Leonardo knows that the best thing about having six arms is being able to pull rabbits out of three hats at once, although sometimes it is difficult to find three rabbits to participate in your routine on short notice.
pog was never meant to have anything in common with a rabbit visually and I never considered that there might be a resemblance until people started calling pog a “rabbit,” including the tip-soliciting lady who gives out animal shape balloons at a local restaurant who thought it really necessary to ask my 4.9-year old niece if she could find “the bunny,” referring to pog, on the sketchbook page I wasn’t finished with or actually exhibiting after mis-indentifying the actual rabbit i drew as a moose, though admittedly I had put a stupid helmet on it. Which happened last week even though this picture is from a month ago but it seemed relevant. Therefore pog seemed a natural reluctant choice for this role.

The person also thought my drawing of the sprite from secret of mana was a horse. Which is probably why I did so few ACTUAL sketches for this.


free sketch #36 https://twitter.com/DraygoDraygon ‘s character also named Draygo sees to it that nemitz gets squashed. nemitz feigns ignorance as to why this may have been necessary.

ree sketch #38: twitter.com/SpecstheFox and nemitz go sailing together. you might think it impressive that dumb old nemitz was able to rig the sail but nemitz probably bribed somebody else to do it in payments of stolen beans. (the captain hat is also stolen)


free “sketch” #45! https://twitter.com/CuntyMcPunty ‘s character Silver aids the cause of justice. rather than a specific content suggestion i was instructed to “go wild,” which in my case means “go stupid.” It might have been more appropriate for me to say: I don’t know you, you don’t even watch my page, and I don’t particularly want your name to appear on mine, and so I don’t see any reason to go anything on your behalf, but i did anyway because I am sick and I need help.


free sketch #¿ for https://www.deviantart.com/artificial-demon ! Acid Goblin hacks nemitz’s computer.

That is of course only the monitor but nemitz is ignorant and probably thinks that part is the computer.
nemitz should not even HAVE a computer. mit probably just looks up pictures of beans on pinterest.


aksi: here is the actual original sketch that I used to advertise what I was doing. I think only three that I delivered were actually of this level of quality. I figured I could chank out ten of these a day, forgetting that nemitz in a basic moron pose is really easy to draw and that I hold myself to a much higher standard when drawing things that I want other people acknowledge the existence of. Nemitz deserved to be promptly forgotten once mit is crushed by that tree.

and a “raffle” is when somebody demands that you share their post and watch their page for a chance that you MIGHT get something for free. I think it is despicable. And so not only did I commit myself to much more work, I necessarily capped the free advertising I could get from it on account of my committing to granting something to every participant but only a set number of them. Does that all make sense? It shouldn’t! Also the nature of this sort of thing meant that most of the people who did participate were sickos who just like the idea of getting stuff, not much caring what it is or who it is from. And I could tell because when I checked their pages to make sure they had retwutted my post before making a request of me there were often already 6 fresh raffle retweets above mine. And of course a few of them didn’t do it at all.
Or they will have extremely niche, stupid tastes that I can’t even talk about with explaining and making myself seem insane just for having been directly in contact with, and only share the offer with other people who are even deeper in the same dumb niche, and then blambi, I have to draw a whole bunch of 8 limbed inflatable monstrosities being force-fed after being flattened by steam rollers. You know, stuff normal people like.
By this point I have finished about 56 of them, which is roughly half because I kept letting people sign up after I closed the thing. Even though decent people would probably honor my set total and not ask to be let in after I had closed it. I wouldn’t let nemitz get away with that! Or I would certainly sternly and directly rebuke nemitz instead of talking indirect trash about mit on another website. It wouldn’t be professional to talk to fictional characters on my website in an insincere manner.



February 17, 2019
Gilbert’s name is a pseudonym, one he used to pen a furry erotic novel, The Furred Reich, about a young Nazi officer’s encounter with an anthropomorphic female snow leopard. He keeps his fursona a secret to allow him to attend furry conventions without getting banned, punched in the face or both.

nemitz is no stranger to hugging, despite being strange


this from 2004, a far off period before the mediocre expectations of internet communities beat my creativity out of me but also before i could draw. nonetheless i did it with colored pencils, which when digitally scanned gave the drawing the unearthly quality of the blank paper actually being darker than the marks on it, so i just today artificially augmented the ghastily large eye-balls to look less grey. I miraculously resisted the urge to alter innumerable other components of the image.
ah yes and the image title is Unlawful Restraint. Don’t forget. nemitz is a fugitive from justice.


Also there is this, Imminent Self-Defense, from 2010, of colored pencil PLUS expensive prisma color markers, since internet people led me to think those would be crucial for functioning, right around the time they all switched to yet more expensive copic markers. It shows the creature Eliah, known to a person called, at the time, Science Fox, and I know not what these days, being physically assaulted by the scoundrel nemitz.


Hugly Situation, from merely 2011, in which Astro Q Duck (the Q stands for “Questionable”) and a terrible creature known only as nemitz reunite after, I assume, being exiled from every place in existence.


Fuzzcilities: not very long ago there was a Valentine day and I regretfully thought it prudent to check on who nemitz was hugging more recently.
nemitz x toilet, hollywood’s power couple for 2019


You HAVE to hug people who don’t want to be hugged. What a tragic, unfortunate, sad-emoticonable plight! I hate to admit that in seeking out inanimate emoticon depositories maybe nemitz has the right idea, so I won’t.



February 9, 2019
Grimaldi played Miniature Clown opposite his father, who played “Adult Clown”.[9]


page 33 of part 3 of this. One good thing does happen, but not much el[p]se. It took me less than two weeks to make, though, which is good, I hope, and not just reflective of my shoddy work on the backgrounds and the already mentioned not much occurring. The only thing in my favor is that I can hold a thought for twenty years. I think usually web comic people hit their peak within two years and finish everything they ever planned on doing within ten. I don’t have to/can’t beat anybody, but eventually they will all retire or move to endeavors that I am not also trying to do, unless battling for the last piece of breathable air becomes a common activity in the near future.



January 23, 2019
the birth of an industry, you poor stupid guy! YOU telling ME what the public will buy?


a just barely edited video to show the latest developments in degeneration. I have not spent the time to make a proper video to share on websites other than this one since the dopes still have the same bland green cheerio attack and terrible sound effects from eh fifteen years ago, and the last part has even more stuff that has to go, including the boring old “weapons,” but I was bored of that ugly test room. I intend for there to be at least THREE ways to destroy dopes but these at least do as many things as the old dopes did, apart from attack with their umbrellas, since they no longer have umbrellas since there are too many existing characters which attack with umbrellas, and that was so even before i gave the first dopes umbrellas!
a bonus that i missed at first: the dope at approximately 29 seconds melts without being hit. It is so: these dopes are SO DUMB that after doing their STUPID dance they RANDOMLY DROP DEAD! Unfortunately I fixed that and it won’t happen again. I wouldn’t mind it but they still have the ability to take regular damage and then start walking around again so that is just confusing! I COULD set them to randomly drop dead and stay that way but that is too stupid to do on purpose.



December 19, 2018
Stupid Little Golf Video (released as Leslie Nielsen’s Stupid Little Golf Video in the United States) is the third and last of the how-to-golf-badly trilogy,


here are dope “pain” frames. of course it is rather un-dope like to show pain, so some/most of these may be repurposed as templates on which to draw other in-pain imps. I do not know how many more imps will need to be included. I fear there is a great many imps to whom retribution is owed.
This one will hop a bit when damaged. I do not know yet what effect causing the sprite to hop will have on the actual player dope’s control, but enemy dopes (all dopes are my enemies) should at least do it properly. This should NOT be taken as evidence of their competence and general ability to do any thing properly.
Also by now i can confirm that the player dope can indeed hop when struck. That does not mean I am impressed!

The second one has 8 views rather than 5 because i do not want its unusual pose to be mirrored when facing left. I do however want to have a full rotation of mirrored poses so I have a third pain frame. it will look bad at the front and back views since for them the alternate pose would be mirrored versions of themselves rather than the view across from them.

and so on this third set I included fresh, not totally mirrored alternate poses for the front and back, so that they cannot awkwardly switch to a backward version of themselves if harmed again before recovering. It is hard to see but I redrew the faces, moved the ears, changed the shading and things like that. I forgot which one actually IS facing forward so I made what turned out to be an alternate for facing front left also. Because I have a poisoned brain. Anyway this means this dope now has 5 potential pain gestures for each direction, so even if minimal effort to make the mirrors look less so is not sufficient, the chance of jumping from one to its backward clone is only 20% and would only be a factor when facing straight at or away from the player. I also went and added a manually reversed and resurfaced alternate for the second pain pose’s front view. Does that make sense? It shouldn’t!


When I have my dopes in a row I will present a full comparison of these beside the “original” dopes from 15ish years ago. In this one state you can see that while they got sad, they maintained their composure.

in the “game” the rendering engine was instructed by me to warp the graphics for this pain state. the warping unfortunately works in a very limited range of ways and it looks somewhat sloppy when it only appears for an instant, for there is no transition in and out of warp.

beyond that the sprite needs void of a height and width to prevent the warped part from wrapping around one edge to the other. Ths warp effect was designed to be put on floor graphics, you see.


Having all the extra space is no big meal for 1994-style low resolution sprites, but when I make them extra large, so that I can barely see them full sized in the Slade editor, and am drawing loads more frames, void management becomes yet more cumbersome.
you really don’t care, do you! Alas I must proceed as if you do.

the only warp currently in effect is on the pink brute’s wing-like attachments. the unseemliness of the warp effect is less obvious when it only affects a part. However, that also means that for this state at least the creature must be inserted into the game separate from its wings, which is its own bigger-then-necessary hassle. Doing that for EVERY frame would be a hassle ludicrous in size beyond already being ludicrous since I would need to spawn and remove the wings for every single in-game tic due to my lacking the presumably meager coding prowess necessary to make the separated wings merely follow what the pink dork is doing.
Observe also that one of the test dopes is in a pain frame even though it is NOT being struck; that is because I inadvertently gave the whole run of new pain frames internal names which conflict with the names I already gave to the idle frames I showed two weeks ago.

I forgot I had reserved the prefix “dopi,” with i meaning idle. I was today thinking i meaning injured! I didn’t want to go with dopp for pain or doph for hurt because I wanted to use just the vowels, not expecting I would need more than 4 extra sets of dope animation frames beyond the base “dope” I use for the normal stomping around animation. Each four letter frame set name can have up to 29 frames in it. I apparently was worried that 116 would not be enough stupid garbage to draw from 5 or more directions!
I used up to F — not using B in case I decided to also do mirror alternates with that first set I showed here — so only G of the idle frames still shows up!

ALSO! The first one is DOPIE7E3, which means it should be E facing right (angle 7) and E mirrored facing left (angle 3). However, its accidental replacement,


DOPIE7F3, is frame E ONLY when facing 7 right; it is F when it is mirrored to 3! Which means??! What SHOWS UP as DOPI-E3 in-game is no longer that standing graphic mirrored but actually

THIS graphic DOPIE3F7 NON-mirrored! Oh what a situation!
and then this graphic MIRRORED replaces

DOPIF7G3, which should be forwards! What a catastrophe! And DOPI-G3 is not replaced at all which means while this graphic DOES show up, it will only EVER be seen BACKWARDS! Why aren’t I in jail?

But nothing exploded so I should be safe to fix this and then all that will no longer be relevant! In fact I can fix it faster (I merely rename the second DOPI series to DOPO, O for “oh no”) than it took me to make all those pictures and text explaining it! But please believe I regularly screw up bigger than that and take longer to realize both what problem there is and what I or anything else did to cause it. I of course blame nemitz.

This is important to me for some reason. The sooner I conquer it, the better for everyone. For dope detractors and supporters alike. Although if you are personally acquainted with any dope supporters please refer them to the jail that I somehow am not in.



December 11, 2018
The cover gained some controversy to some fans claiming that the robot killed the members and also, retailer Kmart refused to sell it.[13] fans were upset that a huge robot killed the band and the record label released the album anyway, with the picture glorifying the act.


The second (and first also) “issue” of my comic books can now be ordered from http://www.indyplanet.us/bimshwel
It features 36 needlessly dense pages, artwork superior to my photography, considerably more legible lettering than the first book and NO DOPES ((actually there is one dope on the inside back cover, don’t tell anyone).

The linked page has them for 8 dollars, which may feel a tad excessive for a comic book but most comic books there have less content per page and eight fewer of them. More panels stuffed into the the same space is not necessarily “better” but I think it suits what I am doing better than the other way would have! Or at least it had better since I sure am not going to change it after all that. And then it would end up being a 48 page book and even more expensive!

Of course it can still be browsed for free up to and beyond that point also on the internet, but people on the internet are peculiar sometimes so I offer both options to them.

ALSO: if you dwell outside the federated republic of United Statia and want this for some reason but think the international shipping cost is exorbitant (I sure do), please contact me directly at [email protected] and I can send one to you through rinkety dinkity postal mail, although I could not guess when it would get to you! This is a fairly stupid time of year to try and mail things.


However, I would have gotten this out of my way much sooner if I could! “Currently, it’s taking *at least* 4-6 weeks from when a book ships to when it goes live” eventually struck me as meaning: “NOTHING will happen BEFORE 4 weeks and afterward it could be any length of time. weeks months years.” the “-6” is misleading. it has no meaning.
I only found out the book was finally available during a cursory check on it before I wrote a second annoyed request for information; the robot never contacted me!


Gimme a break, robot. That “i was driving to the bathroom when you called” story isn’t going to cut it this time. What kind of idiot would make a robot that even needs to do that? This smiling moron should be able to interface directly with the robot car instead of needing to operate external controls!


Another more worrisome matter: It has been brought to my attention that after months of obsessively relettering the internal text, I left out the M in “bimshwellian” on the FRONT COVER of the newish comic book! Order now before I fix that, and be the owner of a rare collectors’ item. Apart from the huge pile of them I ordered for my own purposes months ago and the fact that I might not get around to changing it at all.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: August 8, 2020
Charmlatan sez:
Ah, maybe things can be more peaceful with the dope restricted, I want to imagine. Stay sane!
August 8, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
Stay sane is definitely a more applicable well-wish. If the dope were listening and...
August 8, 2020
Charmlatan sez:
However, could the dope(s) ear be getting bigger because it simply wants to listen? If so, what...
August 8, 2020
Charmlatan sez:
But what if passively wishing you safety is the only thing keeping the Dope of Darkness at bay?
August 7, 2020
pindohodo sez:
That’s too bad! Losing your electricity is a whole lot of no fun, since most of the fun...
July 21, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
Thank you for approving! I don’t like to compare this to an “alpha build”...
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    Those Green Eyes again
    01-28-2006
    More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
    01-15-2006
    MeSpace
    11-EH-2005
    Biggest Loser
    10-EH-2005
    Mall Blandness
    07-20-2005
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    01/05/05
    Belindi
    11/03/04
    Mall Egadness
    09/22/04
    Las Vegas
    07/30/04
    Spiderman 2
    07/20/04
    Jope and Dopes
    06/27/04
    These Green Eyes
    04/24/04
    Friday
    04/01/04
    Wedding
    03/07/04
    Game Over
    03/02/04
    McDenny's
    01/09/04
    Mall orneryness
    01/06/04
    Movies I'm not going to see
    11/14/03
    Back fashion school to
    09/14/03
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    06/14/03
    JList
    06/03/03
    France
    03/31/03
    Official pizza of Nascar
    03/16/03
    Browsers
    02/23/03
    Michael Jackson
    2/16/03
    Free Speech
    02/05/03
    Thursday
    01/23/03
    Doofs
    01-whenever-03
    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same