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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
February 17, 2019
Gilbert’s name is a pseudonym, one he used to pen a furry erotic novel, The Furred Reich, about a young Nazi officer’s encounter with an anthropomorphic female snow leopard. He keeps his fursona a secret to allow him to attend furry conventions without getting banned, punched in the face or both.

nemitz is no stranger to hugging, despite being strange


this from 2004, a far off period before the mediocre expectations of internet communities beat my creativity out of me but also before i could draw. nonetheless i did it with colored pencils, which when digitally scanned gave the drawing the unearthly quality of the blank paper actually being darker than the marks on it, so i just today artificially augmented the ghastily large eye-balls to look less grey. I miraculously resisted the urge to alter innumerable other components of the image.
ah yes and the image title is Unlawful Restraint. Don’t forget. nemitz is a fugitive from justice.


Also there is this, Imminent Self-Defense, from 2010, of colored pencil PLUS expensive prisma color markers, since internet people led me to think those would be crucial for functioning, right around the time they all switched to yet more expensive copic markers. It shows the creature Eliah, known to a person called, at the time, Science Fox, and I know not what these days, being physically assaulted by the scoundrel nemitz.


Hugly Situation, from merely 2011, in which Astro Q Duck (the Q stands for “Questionable”) and a terrible creature known only as nemitz reunite after, I assume, being exiled from every place in existence.


Fuzzcilities: not very long ago there was a Valentine day and I regretfully thought it prudent to check on who nemitz was hugging more recently.
nemitz x toilet, hollywood’s power couple for 2019


You HAVE to hug people who don’t want to be hugged. What a tragic, unfortunate, sad-emoticonable plight! I hate to admit that in seeking out inanimate emoticon depositories maybe nemitz has the right idea, so I won’t.



February 9, 2019
Grimaldi played Miniature Clown opposite his father, who played “Adult Clown”.[9]


page 33 of part 3 of this. One good thing does happen, but not much el[p]se. It took me less than two weeks to make, though, which is good, I hope, and not just reflective of my shoddy work on the backgrounds and the already mentioned not much occurring. The only thing in my favor is that I can hold a thought for twenty years. I think usually web comic people hit their peak within two years and finish everything they ever planned on doing within ten. I don’t have to/can’t beat anybody, but eventually they will all retire or move to endeavors that I am not also trying to do, unless battling for the last piece of breathable air becomes a common activity in the near future.



January 23, 2019
the birth of an industry, you poor stupid guy! YOU telling ME what the public will buy?


a just barely edited video to show the latest developments in degeneration. I have not spent the time to make a proper video to share on websites other than this one since the dopes still have the same bland green cheerio attack and terrible sound effects from eh fifteen years ago, and the last part has even more stuff that has to go, including the boring old “weapons,” but I was bored of that ugly test room. I intend for there to be at least THREE ways to destroy dopes but these at least do as many things as the old dopes did, apart from attack with their umbrellas, since they no longer have umbrellas since there are too many existing characters which attack with umbrellas, and that was so even before i gave the first dopes umbrellas!
a bonus that i missed at first: the dope at approximately 29 seconds melts without being hit. It is so: these dopes are SO DUMB that after doing their STUPID dance they RANDOMLY DROP DEAD! Unfortunately I fixed that and it won’t happen again. I wouldn’t mind it but they still have the ability to take regular damage and then start walking around again so that is just confusing! I COULD set them to randomly drop dead and stay that way but that is too stupid to do on purpose.



December 19, 2018
Stupid Little Golf Video (released as Leslie Nielsen’s Stupid Little Golf Video in the United States) is the third and last of the how-to-golf-badly trilogy,


here are dope “pain” frames. of course it is rather un-dope like to show pain, so some/most of these may be repurposed as templates on which to draw other in-pain imps. I do not know how many more imps will need to be included. I fear there is a great many imps to whom retribution is owed.
This one will hop a bit when damaged. I do not know yet what effect causing the sprite to hop will have on the actual player dope’s control, but enemy dopes (all dopes are my enemies) should at least do it properly. This should NOT be taken as evidence of their competence and general ability to do any thing properly.
Also by now i can confirm that the player dope can indeed hop when struck. That does not mean I am impressed!

The second one has 8 views rather than 5 because i do not want its unusual pose to be mirrored when facing left. I do however want to have a full rotation of mirrored poses so I have a third pain frame. it will look bad at the front and back views since for them the alternate pose would be mirrored versions of themselves rather than the view across from them.

and so on this third set I included fresh, not totally mirrored alternate poses for the front and back, so that they cannot awkwardly switch to a backward version of themselves if harmed again before recovering. It is hard to see but I redrew the faces, moved the ears, changed the shading and things like that. I forgot which one actually IS facing forward so I made what turned out to be an alternate for facing front left also. Because I have a poisoned brain. Anyway this means this dope now has 5 potential pain gestures for each direction, so even if minimal effort to make the mirrors look less so is not sufficient, the chance of jumping from one to its backward clone is only 20% and would only be a factor when facing straight at or away from the player. I also went and added a manually reversed and resurfaced alternate for the second pain pose’s front view. Does that make sense? It shouldn’t!


When I have my dopes in a row I will present a full comparison of these beside the “original” dopes from 15ish years ago. In this one state you can see that while they got sad, they maintained their composure.

in the “game” the rendering engine was instructed by me to warp the graphics for this pain state. the warping unfortunately works in a very limited range of ways and it looks somewhat sloppy when it only appears for an instant, for there is no transition in and out of warp.

beyond that the sprite needs void of a height and width to prevent the warped part from wrapping around one edge to the other. Ths warp effect was designed to be put on floor graphics, you see.


Having all the extra space is no big meal for 1994-style low resolution sprites, but when I make them extra large, so that I can barely see them full sized in the Slade editor, and am drawing loads more frames, void management becomes yet more cumbersome.
you really don’t care, do you! Alas I must proceed as if you do.

the only warp currently in effect is on the pink brute’s wing-like attachments. the unseemliness of the warp effect is less obvious when it only affects a part. However, that also means that for this state at least the creature must be inserted into the game separate from its wings, which is its own bigger-then-necessary hassle. Doing that for EVERY frame would be a hassle ludicrous in size beyond already being ludicrous since I would need to spawn and remove the wings for every single in-game tic due to my lacking the presumably meager coding prowess necessary to make the separated wings merely follow what the pink dork is doing.
Observe also that one of the test dopes is in a pain frame even though it is NOT being struck; that is because I inadvertently gave the whole run of new pain frames internal names which conflict with the names I already gave to the idle frames I showed two weeks ago.

I forgot I had reserved the prefix “dopi,” with i meaning idle. I was today thinking i meaning injured! I didn’t want to go with dopp for pain or doph for hurt because I wanted to use just the vowels, not expecting I would need more than 4 extra sets of dope animation frames beyond the base “dope” I use for the normal stomping around animation. Each four letter frame set name can have up to 29 frames in it. I apparently was worried that 116 would not be enough stupid garbage to draw from 5 or more directions!
I used up to F — not using B in case I decided to also do mirror alternates with that first set I showed here — so only G of the idle frames still shows up!

ALSO! The first one is DOPIE7E3, which means it should be E facing right (angle 7) and E mirrored facing left (angle 3). However, its accidental replacement,


DOPIE7F3, is frame E ONLY when facing 7 right; it is F when it is mirrored to 3! Which means??! What SHOWS UP as DOPI-E3 in-game is no longer that standing graphic mirrored but actually

THIS graphic DOPIE3F7 NON-mirrored! Oh what a situation!
and then this graphic MIRRORED replaces

DOPIF7G3, which should be forwards! What a catastrophe! And DOPI-G3 is not replaced at all which means while this graphic DOES show up, it will only EVER be seen BACKWARDS! Why aren’t I in jail?

But nothing exploded so I should be safe to fix this and then all that will no longer be relevant! In fact I can fix it faster (I merely rename the second DOPI series to DOPO, O for “oh no”) than it took me to make all those pictures and text explaining it! But please believe I regularly screw up bigger than that and take longer to realize both what problem there is and what I or anything else did to cause it. I of course blame nemitz.

This is important to me for some reason. The sooner I conquer it, the better for everyone. For dope detractors and supporters alike. Although if you are personally acquainted with any dope supporters please refer them to the jail that I somehow am not in.



December 11, 2018
The cover gained some controversy to some fans claiming that the robot killed the members and also, retailer Kmart refused to sell it.[13] fans were upset that a huge robot killed the band and the record label released the album anyway, with the picture glorifying the act.


The second (and first also) “issue” of my comic books can now be ordered from http://www.indyplanet.us/bimshwel
It features 36 needlessly dense pages, artwork superior to my photography, considerably more legible lettering than the first book and NO DOPES ((actually there is one dope on the inside back cover, don’t tell anyone).

The linked page has them for 8 dollars, which may feel a tad excessive for a comic book but most comic books there have less content per page and eight fewer of them. More panels stuffed into the the same space is not necessarily “better” but I think it suits what I am doing better than the other way would have! Or at least it had better since I sure am not going to change it after all that. And then it would end up being a 48 page book and even more expensive!

Of course it can still be browsed for free up to and beyond that point also on the internet, but people on the internet are peculiar sometimes so I offer both options to them.

ALSO: if you dwell outside the federated republic of United Statia and want this for some reason but think the international shipping cost is exorbitant (I sure do), please contact me directly at [email protected] and I can send one to you through rinkety dinkity postal mail, although I could not guess when it would get to you! This is a fairly stupid time of year to try and mail things.


However, I would have gotten this out of my way much sooner if I could! “Currently, it’s taking *at least* 4-6 weeks from when a book ships to when it goes live” eventually struck me as meaning: “NOTHING will happen BEFORE 4 weeks and afterward it could be any length of time. weeks months years.” the “-6” is misleading. it has no meaning.
I only found out the book was finally available during a cursory check on it before I wrote a second annoyed request for information; the robot never contacted me!


Gimme a break, robot. That “i was driving to the bathroom when you called” story isn’t going to cut it this time. What kind of idiot would make a robot that even needs to do that? This smiling moron should be able to interface directly with the robot car instead of needing to operate external controls!


Another more worrisome matter: It has been brought to my attention that after months of obsessively relettering the internal text, I left out the M in “bimshwellian” on the FRONT COVER of the newish comic book! Order now before I fix that, and be the owner of a rare collectors’ item. Apart from the huge pile of them I ordered for my own purposes months ago and the fact that I might not get around to changing it at all.



December 5, 2018
I seriously question your so-called “intelligence” by using statictics to “prove” that people who prefer one type of follower over another are “stoopid” (BTW, I spelled “stupid” wrong to make a point).

I do not know if this counts as progress but it seems worth[less] mentioning



What is WRONG with those things? They just want to follow me around, to CHASE me, and for WHAT? Just so they can do THAT? I want to KILL those things. Unfortunately i have not drawn new destruction frames for them yet and so can only get angry at them. What is especially infuriating is the red dopes: they will be OBSESSED with locating the player dope but then turn around, go into their STUPID dance and just FORGET they had a plan. I didn’t see any red dopes for a few minutes and then found them all staring at the same empty corner. what HORRIBLE dopes.



May 8, 2017
At a village-wide party where the Ewoks and Rebels celebrated their victory in the battle, Wicket danced and fraternized with R2-D2.[1]


A reminder to all you retcon-resenting star warfare enthusiasts out there


that George Lucas never got around to removing Sebastian Shaw from the 1997 comic book Star Wars: The Last Command issue 1


in which Princess Leia gives birth and looks like this.

Although on that note if I were force-sensitive I would be wary about doing anything near a window, knowing that a giant creepy judgmental ghost Yoda could be watching me at any time and that I would never be able to stop it or prove to anybody else that it happened. Hey, Yoda, Ben is a family friend but none of the people in there even KNOW you.


In fact I have been generally concerned about Yoda’s mental state recently.

All good? Great, I trust you.

Also, this is besides the point, but all it takes is another kid at school armed with a “va” to ruin Jaina’s life for several years. And Mr. Solo, do you NEED to wear your cowboy vest at ALL TIMES? Come on, I mean it’s the year 9-ABY already, get a new look.

Beside the point but I take issue with this comic book for exaggerating Mark Hamill’s acting skills


although I praise the depiction of his elegant fingers.



January 14, 2017
it’s time to clear the air when it comes to live dopplers in connecticut


an attempt to practice at a different art software, Clip Studio, which I acquired for a stupid reason and feel obligated to make use of. I could finish this drawing. Yes I absolutely could!

I still had to open up ye olde paint shopped proe 6 and use the mouse to clear up that which is there. I thought I had the PSP cd but I apparently only have Kid Pix, my original impossible to draw in except zoomed in really close since consumer art tablets did not exist back in 1994 software. I initially used it at the understaffed daycare for dumb kids that legally counted as “school” which I attended and then made my mother buy it for me after I got a home computer but eventually I had to concede that windows 3.1’s built-in and free pbrush.exe had more practical features with which to draw poorly using a mouse.
And I must say I have never gone through the hassle I did replacing my broken art tablets the past two years to get a replacement for my stupid old mouse, even if it is apparently highly controversial to sell me one without a keyboard.
For rather a few years I was curious about the likes of adope photoglop but never had a machine strong enough to run it well until 2009 or thereabouts. By the time I was decent at it, everybody I knew was trying to convince me I should use Sai or Manga Studio or flippindippin Gimp. I would ignore them at first but eventually see other people’s great results and think I was missing my chance to to do better, and then do far far worse trying. I may have to accept that I was correct all along in rejecting higher functioning software; I can only draw dumb stuff with dumb stuff!



June 10, 2016
I’d like to be entrancing, alluring, ravishing, like a stocking advertisement



How about this: I will treat this video like it is not incomplete and broken and that the story of its creation is straightforward and pleasant, and not let fully compiling my complaints about it delay and further complicate the matter. I am tired of dopes trying to control my life.



December 18, 2015
so this is the closest anyone could ever come to being on the real titanic.


I hope you will find this informative.

I contacted expert voiceover artist Gewk Gilkengramen for the narration. Gewk refused in disgust, so I had to bring in this bozo instead from off the street. With that in mind I have also provided moderately readable text that says for the most part the same things.

I will provide more painful details at an ideally hypothetical point in the future.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: June 6, 2019
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