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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
February 19, 2024
It was released in the US as Those Fantastic Flying Fools, in order to capitalise on the success of Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines two years earlier.[3]

another unfortunate appearance by the dope vending machine

i would ask who was paying nemitz but i know it isn’t necessary for someone to be paying nemitz for mit to be doing something this stupid.

in the sketch it is a generic imp but when digitally handling it I was trying to warp it into the first imp I ever showed getting angry at a dope dispenser. However back when I drew that (several years before the video) I was less diligent about having a creature appear consistent between two frames, and more recently wondered if this creature was likely to be recognized by anyone even if I did come to an ultimate compromised between its two shapes. The important thing is that it disapproves of dopes. I do not think having a tantrum is going to solve the dope problem, OR the nemitz problem, but I never claimed it wasn’t stupid, just smart enough to not want dopes.



July 9, 2023
The Captain’s Chair goes back to the earliest days of our Western culture.

the NEXT page should be available before july 19 ends, but I also thought that about July 15, which is why I didn’t say anything.
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page 60 of this

possibly you will be disappointed but it was necessary. I can change the specifics at a later point (as I apparently have done with the scenery in this room numerous times), and to a degree before the next page. somebody I last saw 11 years ago and who no longer exists in any form I am aware of told me never to show this but


that person later also sternly reprimanded me over tumblr for my complaining about excessive quantities of unremarkable nearly identical fanart units and built a shrine to a team fortress 2 character in its home and so I generally do not regard its opinions highly


the “original” design for this character, when identified internally as “pico de gallo,” before I decided on traits that will not be evident until the next page, called for it to have a single eye stalk. However now that Gidjmerg exists and also has a single eye, even stalkless that makes them seem more related than they are. It was also rather bulky but it looks too jabba the hutly the way I tried and decided against here. apart from any of that I don’t want to add more characters that are hard for me to draw, however infrequently they will be seen.
this character didn’t necessarily exist in the old comic strip that kumquat’s ancestor and pog came from, but I also remember drawing it holding a doom chaingun back when I thought that was a “cool” thing to draw. Almost as much as holding a wine glass, even though I had no desire to drink wine and 20 or more years later I still haven’t.

I also drew proto-kaklabesk holding a wine glass, in one of the very few surviving fragments from my earliest doom edits, which is perhaps why I ended up putting its weaponry in the same category. I couldn’t find the chaingun drawing in this sketch book, but I did find numerous pictures of

proto-lope physically assaulting nemitz which hopefully is all the information you need about how my thinking has changed since then. I can’t say nemitz doesn’t deserve it but lope simply isn’t that dangerous.



January 1, 2023
Thousands of years in the future, Blaster Prime is the first Blaster Agent and the only person in the galaxy who knows math.


a video of pictures I made last year set to some suspicious music.
I hope you hate pine cones, since three or four of these pictures don’t have one.

It took a ridiculous amount of time to make this considering that it is 95% comprised of stuff I had already made. My trashter plan to display gzdoom-engine material from within the gzdoom engine rather than as gifs of the source material did not help like I thought it would. I opposed gifs since while I design the graphics grouped, I have to separate them to put them into the game, and I refine them after separation, so I didn’t want the less-refined versions. and some pieces, like the launched yeep parts mentioned (but not yet drawn and so not shown) previously, were separate to begin with. howEVER, since I draw the stuff at ten times the 1993 game’s resolution, and my computer is less than top-of-the line, those graphics need to be reloaded each time the game is started, and then I am having it load extra graphics and generate extra objects on top of that, IN ADDITION to me running video capture software, which means loading all that tomfoolery in an extra window while simultaneously saving a copy of it all, the game can’t help but choke up for a few moments when stuff is exploding. and SO I spent an extra day, two days? trying to reduce that, just a few seconds of the dumb video. And I already spent an extra day drawing all those dumb letters and setting up the circumstances under which they appear and explode. originally they were to use the same explosion frames as the launched yeep globs, hence my using the same colors, but those explosions looked too uniform, unless those were themselves launching more globs, but more globs meant more lag. and SO i drew EXTRA explosions for the letters I and O that would prevent them from needing to launch globs.

but that still means loading extra graphics so it doesn’t reduce THAT much lag. I also had the letters L and F turn into I and G into O as they explode, and that still wasn’t enough! For the yeep section near the end, I had all the pertinent graphics pre-load before I started recording, but that wasn’t an option with the letters because they FALL FROM THE CEILING as soon as the level starts. I COULD have preloaded all the graphics if I had thought to suspend the letters on disappearing floors or had them teleport into the room, but I was too busy to be thinking! I also forgot to set the level to change the colors to something other than orange, so that the aftermush looks less like a nickelodeon logo family reunion but if I had, I would probably still today be trying to optimize or fix it in some way and I am glad to not be doing that.

I can’t even show this picture without needing to explain it. the level editor shows a 2003 dope rather than a 2018 dope because it assumes the player character uses PLAY-named sprites, but the newer dopes have DOPE-named sprites, and I simply never took out the old sprites. the weird background is irrelevant; it is the first graphic in the definition file, since for some arcane reason that graphic shows up invisible in the game, but not in the editor. I needed it invisible so that the background shows through it. there are other hacky ways to make the ground and walls invisible but everything I do is already hacky so I preferred something that worked consistently.
these are off-center relative to the player character’s viewpoint because they seemed to my own viewpoint to be showing up offcenter when I placed them IN the center. However by the time I made the video that seemed to no longer be the case but I was too tired from the endless re-records hoping for less lag and more interesting random splat locations, then inserting that into the video, cropping out the wrong takes, then moving it to the front, then dumping it all that since I wanted to go back and change something else in the setup and then need to re-record again, that I left the positions alone.


“AASCREBO” will go to the top of most lists. It is not necessary for the list to be alphabetical, but I was trying to amuse myself. Regular Doom2 calls it

which I dislike seeing in the list, and regular regular Doom calls it

which I hate even more, and not just because the base-2 display system means you aren’t actually ALLOWED to make 24-length wall textures! Even if that worked it wouldn’t work! screbo is stupid garbage that nemitz says, and I had already changed the poison logo to feature nemitz, so it fits. I placed it over the pile of skulls that is shown by default after coloring them purple. I don’t want any of the base game’s graphics in this, even edited ones, and nemitz endorsements of rubbish are anachronistic within this project’s complex chronology of being set before nemitz, but as noted previously these don’t actually show up! but even THESE are a problem since floor graphics are backwards on the ceiling. If I want to control invisible objects that it is possible to move beneath, I risk seeing not only a backwards S but a backwards nemitz inside the level editor’s 3d view mode. What could be worse than that? I probably won’t find out until I try to make next year’s video.

and after all that, I today realized: the ORDER of the primary content is terrible. It starts on a snake comic strip that nobody cared about and then ends on generic wall textures that nobody SHOULD care about. I should have started and ended on stuff with meaning. I too more concerned with irrelevant nonsense to consider the marginally more relevant nonsense. There is probably an important life lesson there but I am too concerned with complaining to process it right now.



December 29, 2022
The movement’s most triumphal single moment was the parade after the Mets won the World Series. The sky was black with crap. It was the Woodstock of Slop Art.”

my scanner is old, like me. It gets upset if you try to have it do something without advance notice, however I wanted to show this in the absence of better things to show.





or perhaps it objects to the subject matter. Certainly, a dope vending machine should not exist. But if you SEE one, do not put money into it if you do not want a dope, even IF it has a “no dopes” button. ESPECIALLY if the no dopes button says “out of order” on it. It almost seems like these idiots secretly WANT dopes. Not me; I just deliver the news about dope-related wrongs. I presume the first and second dope-protestors are different characters, unless dopes really are so dumb that they can cause people to transform into ludicrous imps like them.

lately this website also gets upset if you try to have it do anything, but that is for no reason.

which fits in with my other content rather well, I suppose.



August 25, 2022
Joel considers their rejection of their working-class roots (trading a Chevy for a Cadillac and buying a house in Hackensack, New Jersey) ultimately futile


It has often been said that if you hold an Ortega brand taco shell to one ear that you can hear New Jersey. I do not think that is true; I have been to new jersey and it does not sound like taco shells, but nemitz is ignorant and inclined to hold fanciful beliefs.

I have received word, late, and vaguely, so that I had to directly inquire about it, and so learn yet later, that the art shows I attended in person that were cancelled Cuz Covid for three years is returning in person this year. I am absolutely not prepared for that. I spent those three years jumping between various matters that are unrelated to in-person art shows, and eventually assumed this one simply never was coming back. I didn’t regret its loss at all and didn’t investigate other art shows. But feel like I MUST attend, even though I am not ready, lack time and resources to become ready, and even though I have to pay money for the right to do it. My life is silly. Consequently I have little patience for imps with BIG SMILES that listen to taco shells.



May 13, 2022
Like most enemies in Yeti’s Cave, it frequently inflicts the Imp status using its special attack Friendmaker.


a vaguely sketch-like commission for a human called gingle of a frustrating imp called elpse

I was requested to have it mirror the pose of this this similarly insufferable imbecile called nemitz from 2015, and so it does.
also this website’s twentieth birthday was two days ago. That is not important. What is important is that it has existed for more than half my life. My life is not important if all i have to show for it is a website which also is not! However I also have elpse and nemitz, lope and dopes. Consequently my life is an unforgivable travesty.



April 20, 2022
this is data. fish man took my secret weapons

4-28-2022 340am: a very stupid week. the video is ready-ish but the website post attempting to justify it isn’t and thursday is going to be as messy as it is thurs.
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looks like a good day to stay inside

as is generally the case with these, you may click at it to attempt to load a larger version if you are into that sort of thing.

I made this with a mode in the clip stupido paint program that remembers every single stroke I took which allows it to create a time-lapse video of the construction. Unfortunately this feels very watery in the wrong places and rather incomplete, but I am not capable of making it more complete at the moment, so I wouldn’t want to exhibit such a video for any other purpose than to show the bizarre non-linear way these things come about. Nonetheless I shall, but I haven’t yet!



November 21, 2021
The delicate locket would never fit around Graham’s muscular neck

I am too tired to proofread this but you probably won’t notice since it details a series of messes anyway.
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Oh right LAST time I mentioned that none of the worked-over pieces have elpse (green imp) in them. It simply was the case that none of them particularly suited elpse, in the coloring of the figure or the demeanor of the scene. I was informed shortly after that, the my-website-breaking-garbage from august is still lingering in the form of an all white page with unreadable text, but only for SOME people, none of them me.


I have been entirely unable to determine the source of or fix that problem. on the twittor website I requested if any persons who literally had nothing better to do, might glance at the front page and report if it was broken to them. I quite FORGOT that the post at the top of the page could be interpreted by a casual reader looking for something to take issue with as saying “the people I know on twitter are freeloading louts” so without getting into more details, I can say the site is still as broken as then BUT not to everybody and there also now a scene to redraw that suits elpse much better!

not necessarily this one; it may be worth giving elpse some stupid jewelry or changing the pears into something stupider but not harder to draw than pears.

or simply remove some of the terrible effects so that the dope I drew in with them temporarily turned off is no longer concealed by them
OTHERWISE I have not yet had cause to make over one that was mostly green, I suppose elpse could theoretically also go into that.

it would be simple to just put nemitz into all of them, but some scenes would not be applicable since they already HAVE nemitz or worse in them, as I needed a second figure to be receiving or granting insult, and I REFUSE to have two nemitzes in one picture. OR the central character is morbidly obese, or the central character is a vague mass of “glitched” body parts that I should never have agreed to draw even for money, much less none.

Grahamted, elpse has been unusually large in size the last few times I finished a page of the comic strip, but that isn’t something I particularly enjoy drawing nor want to indicate is a permanent, pleasant, commemoration-worthy state for elpse. WHICH IS not to say that nemitz is pleasant but I enjoy getting annoyed at how stupid nemitz looks. What I don’t enjoy is people with a sexual fetish for something I drew incidentally assuming I share that with them and encouraging their fetish buddies to acknowledge my efforts for that component alone and talking to me like I also fetishize it in defiant obliviousness of 978% of every other drawing or sentence I have ever posted or any most rudimentary concept of etiquette, then sending me random videos of fat people or pictures of themselves wearing fat suits in direct messages. Which hasn’t happened, for that, and I prefer to keep that aspect of my existence consistent.


this came about back when I attempted to post drawings on the reddit website in 2020. the person was threatening to commission me to draw something but wanted me to say that I would “have fun” with soles-of-feet-focused imagery and “experiment” with it, and I would not, because that isn’t fun for me and experiments mean extra work for no money and also require a base interest which I lack. And so the person stopped responding. Which is probably for the best since I was not going to draw anything this person really liked except inadvertently. plenty of artists in this game do so regularly and do not care if their customers are displeased, but I care about everything, so I prefer to avoid it, and more so I prefer to avoid the consequences of not making certain such customers know how much fun I am not having as soon as possible.

This is actually the rubber clothes humanoid again, before he got to that part. I should have gotten out long before getting there. That garbage went on for days. I was worried about losing a customer, and was intrigued by the weirdness, besides. In the end I realized I didn’t want this person as a customer if he wanted us to be friends, or even casual acquaintances, or under any other circumstances.

that actually isn’t the end. he told me he deleted me as a contact at least twice, and then shortly after I mentioned him here, which was itself more than a year from this chat bit, he sent me, with no other words or context, a creepy semianimation of a bunch of partially melted naked bootleg backstreet boys with the text “so disappoint” printed on it, which I simultaneously wish I had saved and am relieved I will never have to see again. then I found it anyway.


wow you sure showed me with this scornful half-literate slime orgy


unfortunately at the time I did not understand.

also vitally important, regarding a completely different person also mentioned on that old page I just linked to

should have been


but it evidently wasn’t, for three whole years, since I hate the word in quotation marks so much that I put it in quotation marks and forgot that quotation marks abort the text string and cause any additional text to go nowhere. although i dislike now how wide this picture of it is on my screen!

but don’t worry, anybody who can see this page already isn’t coming back!
frumblegrumble the jackhasslers who decided 20 years of webpages need to retroactively be made smaller to fulfill the whims of willfully inferior technology want ME to “fix” something? Yes they certainly do. Anything they can’t break from their end by deprecating bits of code or requiring more and more “security certificates” on a site running 0 advertisements and off-site scripts that continues working just as it should they are going to try and guilt trip me into dismantling myself.

I know it’s not my fault! It never is! But it’s always my problem. Yet I am not bitter and covetous, and I gladly share it with you.



November 12, 2021
Luckily, the dinosaurs have a huge liking for time travellers like you and your friend.

not surprisingly a number of the “free sketch” recipients from a few years ago eventually lost interest in what I was doing apart from free stuff, or never had it to begin with, especially when I was unable to reciprocate such an appearance of interest. Obviously I am not entitled to attention but my sensitivity to the matter defies the obvious. Since I already had the poses and colors laid out it seemed worth the bit of additional effort to change the characters into my own morons, thereby letting me upload them to try and get attention a second time and also receive a spiteful catharsis that a reasonable person might not have thought necessary.


a lobster which looks to be pretty good at what it does is ridden by a lizard-like being that is objectively terrible.


nemitz don’t forget that for every finger you point there is eh one other finger pointing back at you.

that dreadful mitz was also in this group. nemitz is a functional substitute for most dork anthropomorphs that stand around pointlessly and smiling since that is what nemitz does best.
I started to explain why none of these have elpse in them and it got surprisingly complicated so maybe I will get to that next time, which typically means “save that part elsewhere and forget about it and probably be better off for having done so.”



September 1, 2021
this is a case of weird weather creating even weirder water

9-5-2021 3isham oaf now the comments aren’t working? I don’t expect them but I happened to glance down there on another entry that already had some and nothing but errors there. what a dumb few weeks!
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9-5-2021 329am the comments work now but they are in the ugly default style since I had to copy code out of the “default” theme that updated itself during the overall wordpress “update” that I didn’t want but thought would fix the site when it was broken, which it didn’t even do! hopefully I can work out the syntax of whatever “ereg” got replaced with since that suddenly being “deprecated” is what broke the comments form and have slightly-less-ugly comment boxes again but I am tired and have other things to do! and I just noticed another broken thing in the side-bar. beets
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this is one of the more eerily fake-looking “photographs” I have encountered. Have you ever seen water which looks like this? The blue is as if somebody dumped a load of toilet bowl cleaner pods upstream. This looks like an amateur colored pencil drawing or a video scene from a playstation game. This looks like the ghost of deceased water.

i tried turning it grayscale and and the substance still looked like glowing crest toothpaste more than water, particularly on the left. which makes me more inclined to believe this picture initially had no water in it, rather than more naturally colored water. and yet where it makes contact with standing water on the lower right looks real. the web page it came from only identifies it as “free stock photo” without any context of where it might have been taken or what was done to it.

the links at the side of the page indicate that for a fee you too can try to put water where it doesn’t belong and color it unnaturally. I don’t know why you would, what satisfaction you would get from making an ugly fake scene from elements of real ones, but other people are already doing it and likewise looking to charge for access.

even the blatantly blue-dyed water at one of the numerous inexplicably pirate-themed miniature golf courses I saw in Queensbury, New York didn’t look that queentoony.
this PHOTOGRAPH is terrible; I may have taken it from across the street or behind a fence. it was the same day as this borage. I didn’t use this photograph in fact because the result wasn’t as cartoony in the picture as it was in person. Stock photography vendors clearly see this as a pressing problem.

AND I was looking up pictures of water tumbling down mountains because to make a long story spork i couldn’t solve my computer problem with what I ordered and waited for, so have ordered and need to wait for something else. Consequently I am still using the backup computer, and consequentlier STILL haven’t finished that rygar picture, of which a tiny, almost irrelevant part of the drawing features just the category of scenery that I was speaking of, and consequentliest I wanted references for it.
for really no good reason I thought I should try and incorporate less-cartoon-looking scenery even though every figure amidst the scenery is exactly as cartoonesque as in the dumb nintendo game. ultimately it comes down to I never developed an instinct for what corners of realism can be cut and still have a corny fake drawing represent the real version. this applies especially heavily to blue-colored water which always looks bad and fake to me except where it naturally occurs.


Notice how the recent changes don’t improve the image but does make the characters present that are more important yet that I have not gotten around to checking on now look worse than before compared to the increase in background detail.

I thought I wasn’t doing justice to THIS. Even though the whole reason I like Rygar imagery is because of the specific weird, often stupid look it has. Why shouldn’t I interpret it literally? The answer to that doesn’t matter since I already didn’t and am more likely to spend another day working around a bad decision than revert it.


some bad decisions I have spent decades working around.



April 19, 2021
standing outside with my mouth open wide EHH EHH EH-EHH EHH EH-EHH EHH EH-EHHHH

i should have a drawing to post on tuesday. I should also have had it on sunday but it is a tricky drawing. everything is tricky these days! even that nemitz picture which was simple became very tricky and unpleasant once I attempted to talk about it so ideally i will say very little on tuesday.
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a needlessly nemity variation on a widely circulated image of uncertain origin


I am fascinated by this image, and plainly a lot of other people also are, often altering it to suit their needs. The envelope is apparently from 1895! I found this using the tineye reverse image search. Once in a while that actually works, yes. So I presume the picture is from before then, though how much before then I am unaware.


At my home from 1985 to 2001 this game was in a bathroom closet that never seemed to be closed, maybe it couldn’t be closed. I never saw the game be played, in fact I don’t believe I even saw the back of the box until I found it for sale on e-bay, but I always remembered the drawing.

I see now that Word Of Mouth’s is the only version to have a hat and non-clenched hands, and after comparing them I saw that its hands indeed had a more casual 1960s low budget school house rock animation sort of style to them than the rest of the drawing.

It was only years later, some time after the feature film was released, that I became aware of Sweeney Todd using a very similar drawing. I was only able to compare them recently, and saw that Todd’s is drawn by a different hand. I appreciate that Frank Verlizzo’s Sweeney Todd version redrew it outright to make the alterations less out of place and to match the Angela “Murder She Not-Yet Wrote/Did” Lansbury mutant that had to be drawn fresh. Also back in the 1970s fewer people assumed you could just change something on another person’s drawing or song and copyright it exclusively for yourself forever.

Another odd bit is that the one on the left was drawn to resemble Angela Lansbury but obviously the one on the right just is that same guy it was before. He does VAGUELY resemble the drawing but only as much as any other large 19th century man with his hair parted in the middle would, and yet that was enough. Verlizzo didn’t even incorporate the suspenders and nobody ever thought to ask: does this drawing actually look like the character?

Ironically, the Johnny Depp Todd DOES look like the drawing, wearing a vest and striped pants with messier side hair but the film never used that artwork in promotion. Presumably there was concern that Helena Bonham Carter looked less realistic than the cartoon Angela Lansbury.


unlike Todd’s, the collective soul version of the very angry man edits the an imprint directly and poorly and it is obvious (and the print itself is somewhat shoddy, as if somebody scanned a t-shirt that it had already been printed on). The whitish glow and white (or actually green)-tinted shadow against an inappropriate-colored backdrop resembles a vintage geocities gif and the mouth looks like somebody drew it with a mouse in GIMP. However, gimp and geocities didn’t exist then. Somebody had to work much harder to make an edit this bad in those days.
My older brother Colberon had this album and I had to ask him what album it was that had the Word of Mouth man on the cover, and fortunately he remembered. I don’t know what the MUSIC sounds like; it probably isn’t good if they think this cover looks good.

ohhhhhh it’s THAT song, the heaven let your light shine down band.

neh nehneh nehnehneh nehnehneh nehneh neh


yeah

I forgot Colberon used to listen to slightly more palatable garbage off the radio before he was actually in bands. I figured it was some mopey cheaply produced garbage like I used to find in our shared Kazaa folder years afterward. “Sparta’s” singer sounds like a sick puppy and the music sounds like what I hear while passed out when I am sick myself.

ehhhnyway, wikehhhpedia sez:


The title is claimed to be just lines lifted from that annoying Paul Simon song about wanting me to be his body guard. Why name your entire debut album after irrelevant lines in somebody else’s song? How can you have any respect for a band about which you believe that? That would mean the bums weren’t even trying. And the “fact” has been on the page so long that obviously loads of folks are quite willing to believe it is true, while I seeing that statement for the second time knew I needed to look it up. AND the actual Simony lyrics, apart from being fairly strangleworthy, don’t include the “and things left unsaid part.”

I am tired of garbage like this. I used to think it was funny when I found dumb lies on wikipedia but now it just makes me mad because people who know nothing will paraphrase those lies to prove they are smarter than and dismiss someone like me when they don’t know a ding dang thing, and then hundreds of other fandom wikis and automatically generated clickbait landfills will copy all the same junk and then after being established long enough each can be cited as sources by any other.
I don’t even care about this album and I easily proved both these statements to not be provable. I went there because I was angry about one thing and then became angry about something else in the same paragraph.
I don’t need my edits to be permanent, but I like knowing that anybody who goes to revert them will have to become aware of how annoyed I was. I was in a bad enough state to not realize I derisively used the word “bit” twice. I haven’t been that angry since somebody claimed [adventures of] Lomax was voiced by Kath Soucie, even though Lomax has the exact same voice as every other character in the game and only says things like “oh no!” and “let’s go” that sound like the same pitch-shifted probably sound-effect guy voice samples used in Lemmings 2.

I was kidding, sort of, with the manner in which I present these objections, yet this sort of thing really is a problem.

Soucie is an actor popular for squeakily voicing female often animal-based cartoon characters that became the target of lascivious affections from viewers, some of them extending their taste in animated wank fodder on to soucie herself. I don’t know WHY such a person NEEDS her to be Lomax’s voice, but now it is phrased countless different ways out there, so that each is harder to identify as copied from a casual falsehood on wikipedia, and I doubt Soucie remembers every single character she has given a voice to and every name that character has been known by, and maybe eventually she will also believe she voiced something called “Lomax.” But she didn’t! True enough, real lemmings don’t voluntarily run off cliffs to kill themselves, but 70 years ago Disney’s crew filmed some lemmings being deliberately shoved off a cliff just because they thought that was interesting, and real people younger than me still believe that happens so in comparison the lomax matter perhaps seems like a relatively benign invention.
Some people just NEED trash like that to be true for their lives to have meaning. And I get angry about it because my life also has no meaning because everything is run by imbeciles who trust fiction written by nobody to dismiss real people in their own orbit. msg, gmo, qanon, nft, sjw, inherited lies and stupid abbreviations everywhere. Even over stupid inconsequential trivia. Perhaps especially over that. I am a pariah across all the lands because I don’t trust anyone who tries to tell me who to trust, and that is typically a condition for peaceful coexistence.

I of course blame nemitz.



April 2, 2021
it’s a trollll! from the movie, disaneefrozan!

commission drawing for dookingplaza of the twitter website. Which is to say I was given money to make this, which is probably just about the silliest thing to spend money on. Imagine not being able to buy a pizza because you spent that money buying a nemitz instead, truly tragic The elpse is there also but I am more experienced blaming nemitz.

Yes indeed the scene shows this edition of these two suspicious imps resting in this manner in roughly this sort of place.
I seemed to like drawing some of the foliage here. The fooliage however is more difficult to justify.
it is frustrating to see the date on that page and realize I posted it almost five years ago and have only just inched past that section of the “story” in the 36 subsequent pages! However I have in the finished pages and the adequately legible scripted bits sorted out numerous dangling chad “plot” points so theoretically I should be able to move forward more concerned about what is going to happen than what already has, even if my speed and cultural references continue to be two or more decades behind.
I forgot to include elpse’s rope belt, but even after I noticed it I forgot it again, and Mr. Plaza didn’t seem to notice it either so it might not be important, at least not to those who are not elpse. Ordinarily I find rope belts funny and it is possible this scene was not supposed to be funny so it might be best not included anyway, apart from sparing you the unspeakable boredom of reading about how I forgot it.



March 28, 2021
I said, ‘How do I know I want to be Batman’s butler?’ It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard of. He said, ‘It may be worth over $100,000.’ So I said I was Batman’s butler.


I got this back in fourth grade, which was probably roundabout 1993, from a school book fair or something because I would buy ANY book of comic strips that appeared in a weird place, and the character looked sort of like Calvin of “and Hobbes” fame anyway, and I had all the books with actual Calvin in them. I had never seen this big Nate that is smaller than a pencil before and have not seen it since,

but apparently it found an audience somewhere eventually among influential scumbags.
I don’t know how you make a tv series about a kid who draws comic strips in his note books, or why you need to save money by making it 3d since it would probably cost 2 cents to animate the notebook sections, which easily comprised about a third of the natebook that I had, assuming the tv series doesn’t just opt for static images.

I still had the book, along with this from the same book fair, a large hard cover edition of Roald Dahl’s The Minpins, which wasn’t actually mine and I don’t know how I ended up with it, but had HAD it so long i stopped mentally being aware of it, and several Cracked Magazines in a trash bag where they’d been at least ten years as I was always weird about throwing things away, but amidst trying to get the house sold last June I finally did, and I guess this tv series being made is revenge. I don’t know anything about it except for that picture, but I don’t really need to; I am 80% assured to hate any animated series whatever it is, this just happens to be a character that I recognize.

But it does go to show, if you stick to your craft, 30 years later a soulless corporation may commission an ugly computer mockery of it while desperate for new material not spun off from stuff they’ve had on the air almost as long or produced by sexual predators they finally had to fire after too many people found out they were covering up predation.

All this is not to say I hated the comic strips; I preferred the Nate book to the Marvin book, and it was my first experience with the expletive “dang!,”


which prepared me to encounter GRAYDANG in doom some time later, but I didn’t care enough to make an effort to track down more of Nate’s biggery. Meanwhile I eventually acquired each Calvin volume, though admittedly those were more common sights in book stores and finite in number.

I remember being really bothered by the way Lincoln Peirce drew the breast zone on Nate’s sister Ellen and apparently later other characters. I do not understand how this is preferable to not detailing a character’s chest at all.

However the bignate fandom wiki, which exists, features graphics which indicate this specific matter was toned down at some point. Peirce still draws mouths on the fronts of the heads regardless of what way they are facing.


the wiki also features up to the minute updates about which characters’ hair is pulled too close to their faces.

you are missing the bigger picture that Gina is a living cubist painting.


I additionally learned there was a big nate novel series by the same author that is REALLY banking on one remark from Jeff Kinney, whose “ugly comic strip about dork going to school excused by being ostensibly drawn by character in the comic” work actually came out a full 13 years after Lincoln Peirce’s and made heaps more money, and I wonder if Peirce knew the publisher was putting that line there. It is on all eight of the books,

and is also on reprint editions even less subtly. He definitely knew by then, I suppose.

Ah I said I hadn’t seen “big nate” since reading that book I had, but then I remembered I looked at its syndicate website at some point because I found and saved this extremely tacky strip from 2011.


I wonder how this works; how is a perpetual 12-year old commemorating the tenth anniversary of a national disaster that occurred when he was two years old? Or does this serve to acknowledge that he is in fact much older than that and simply not aging visually, like an elf?
Perhaps every moment of Nate’s life exists in its own separate timeline where he had been two years old ten years before, and in this one he has been surrounded by stories of heart-rending tragedy about nine-eleven and, unlike my cousin Delainey, about the same age, at the 9-eleven museum in New York City, or myself, mildly older than that on the actual nine-11, experiencing disillusionment and social terror at just existing every single day, totally over with being ordered to care about the one time people older than them experienced it, and got interviewed about it, and got validated in feeling that way, Nate REALLY relates to IX-XI. Alright that bully kid is STILL going to wreck that dopey pair of mounds, because the only thing bullies hate more than you standing there looking like that is you trying to get out of what’s coming to you. The only way to make bullies respect you is to beat them in a fight or make them laugh, and Nate, as the title character of a daily syndicated comic strip, is never going to substantially alter his behavior to get tougher or become funny so obviously those are both out. The only way that sand sculpture stays up is if bigger kid has mega right wing parents/guardianship that have hammered into him how SACRED 9-11 is, and new york’s FINEST, and the MEN AND WOMEN OVERSEAS, and PEARL HARBOR, and BOOTSTRAPS, in which case he is going to murder Nate and threaten Nate’s buddies into hiding the body for daring to invoke the divine power of 9-11. He will then call the newspapers, tell them he made the sand towers, get an award from the mayor and the city will make a bronze cast of it and display replicas at every intersection.


also: who the heck does this? places the end of their tongue out one side of their mouth to show how hard they are working. It is also in the title logo and apparently numerous other nate strips even without considering the logo. I sure don’t do that. I hate the feeling of tongues on my skin, whose-ever they may belong to. I would definitely have to scrape-wipe that part of my face afterward with tissue paper. I don’t think I have ever seen somebody outside of a comic strip or my mother’s description of a Norman Rockwell painting do that. And I don’t know what it’s called and searching for pictures based on the description is getting me way too many photographs of gross mouths so I cannot research this further. But my belief is that nobody really does this.
It is like talking while pointing one finger upward.



None of them are real people! I drew nemitz (orange annoying imp) doing it because nemitz does stupid things that are annoying, and even mit doesn’t engage in side-tonguing.


actually now that i think of it, the dork from goblins 3 looks sort of like nate (but not at all like calvin). they both have weird gravity-defying black spiked hair that looks more like grass and hold both feet in the exact same direction when facing to the side but only turn one of them and all the way around to face frontward, marking a considerable, charlie chaplin-esque posture change.


well THAT is the sort of thing i notice! too late to try and change it now.

some people notice other things.


this has no relevance but it is the specific inspiration for me referring to dopes as “decadent” on one or more occasions.



March 21, 2021
On an edition of WWE Raw, William Regal stated that WWE Diva Maria liked Rainbow Brite.

the end of the rainbow seems pretty overrated these days

this is less topical than it would have been had I been able to post on march 17, but Gold Bond fortunately does come in a topical variant. I don’t actually know what it does but nemitz probably doesn’t either and the dope absolutely doesn’t.

I acknowledge that this is rather similar to the stupid sketch I added on the previous entry.


initially mit was stepping on the pot with one foot but the pose was not functional. nemitz is not functional but mitz distribution of weight usually is. The bottle mit is holding in the final version is still out of scale with the ones in the pot because it seemed too stupid to bother correcting; plainly this scene does quite enough bothering on its own!



March 16, 2021
kimono cal, he’s your pal


The initial “idea” of this was to redraw legend of zelda sprites based on how i remembered interpreting them as a child looking at a blendy television screen, so they don’t all have a point, and then the idea itself got somewhat warped as I added more figures.

my elder brother used to refer to the lamnola as “the toilet flusher,” as in “here comes the usher, the ol’ toilet flusher,” and I didn’t really know what that meant but I thought it was funny and always remembered it. Years later I realized he probably meant “toilet brush,” and so I took the initiative of drawing it as one. He had also at one or more junctures declared that Rudolph the Six Gun Shooter had a very shiny gun, and that if I ever saw it, I would drop my pants and run, even though I would run far more effectively without the preceding action.

The “gel” blobs were my favorite monsters when I originally played the game and I made up a dumb song about them. I do remember the tune and it is not worth reproducing, but the words to it were
We fat men
we like you
we bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy
you kill us
we bounce on you
cuz we fat men we like you

but you keep that between us
I didn’t see any way to misinterpret the form for this but wanted to include one anyway!
I also remember playing the game one morning and was in level 3 quest 1, with the blobs, and my father saw this going on, attempted to sing the song, and I yelled at him for it because kids are jerks, and I also recall precisely how he got the tune wrong, and I today wonder how different it would have been had he been permitted to finish. We should have collaborated on an album about stupid nintendo monsters, and then he would at least deserve to get yelled at.

I don’t know why I didn’t think to include a “peahat” in this (or 2019’s very important hat video, especially considering i inadvertently put one hat scene in there twice) because as soon as I learned what it was called, I think from a television advertisement for the game, I always thought of peahats as actual sentient, wrathful hats, possibly with bladder issues, since I didn’t see it spelled out and couldn’t read and that makes as much sense as associating them with little green vegetable balls, and that is very much in the spirit of the drawings up there, even if more mentally than visually.


And alas now this has to happen instead.

the fbi should start its own peahat club and then arrest everybody who tries to join. yes nemitz would definitely attempt to join additional peahat clubs apart from mitz own. It now occurs to me that any hat nemitz wears while posing proudly instantly becomes stupid and incarceration-justifcation.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
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pc72
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