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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
January 14, 2020
if you can’t come to ice mountain, ice mountain comes to you

the initial piece of animation for the third “first beet” cartoon. Hardly anything happens here. I had been intimidated by the thought of drawing this part for quite a while, more than two years evidently, even though it is not necessarily of great overall importance. Nothing beet-related is! It always looked like this in my mind, except the smoke was different and all the striking objects had spear-points, so it had to be made and included. There was not supposed to be a yeep in it, but i noticed a yeep was perched up there at the end of the second cartoon, and it is meant to transition directly into this one so this is how that went.

The view is supposed to immediately pan up to where the chains are being launched from rather than dwelling on this view, as indicated by the extremely legible scrap of a layout, but i have not drawn that part yet!



January 1, 2020
Herry is known for appearing in illustrations (and some merchandise and on the Sesame Street Live productions) with pants on.


for the first time in 15 years I didn’t make a “year in pictures” post and did this instead. I got up to april and realized I didn’t have enough posts with good pictures in them to make that workm since almost everything has been a digital drawing or a comic book page with mostly the same characters on it, and making a video out of all of those seemed more logical. I of course made it a most illogical task and spent nearly two days on it, and it only looks THAT good. If you were in my house today or yesterday and heard me shouting at something, there is a 65% chance it was this or influenced by this. Also I am hopelessly obsessive compulsive and will probably force out a “year in pictures” post anyway!



December 4, 2019
In the countryside I wander far and wide


An animated icon for nafradorf fumblewip.


I made this also some time ago. Presumably it sums itself up.

i thought animating like this would be easier than the other way, a thought which meant it wouldn’t be, but if I didn’t have optimism that a thought which has been wrong every time in the past would be right this time i would probably never try anything new!

Which I mean not to indicate that the thoughts I express at length are wrong; I think these thoughts are generally very right, but there may be no place for them that I have access to. Most people only care about thoughts that are expressed in venues where thoughts can only be expressed in stupid ways. Which makes me angrier, which makes the non-stupid thoughts more complicated and less feasible to complete, even though when they are completish they are guaranteed obscurity so it really isn’t necessary to increase the difficulty factor.


The drafts heap up. One of the drafts there is actually about animations i made or was expected to make for other people who lied and treated me horribly and it is my intention to not drift into that topic while discussing the one up there (a similar thing occurred when I posted the previous icon I made for nafradorf (also the rubber creep sent me ANOTHER message some time after I posted that and I am not afraid of him but he really is horrid). This one took just as long as the ones I am not talking about today but I don’t have ill feelings associated with it. I know this one is the end and I won’t have that specific problem again, because if somebody asks to try it I will see it coming, and I only did it this time because i offered it! And so I won’t get tricked and I won’t have to never finish writing about it!



November 20, 2019
“Oh woe is me,” the farmer cried, “The elves will be my guests.”

oh fleeps i just noticed that the yeep momentarily re-appears in the air after it gets shot down, and seems to suffer from that.
/////////////////////////////////////////



the general layout of a too long overdue replacement for a visually very boring part at the beginning of the first first beet cartoon where it absolutely should not be boring if I want people to watch the whole thing! People with standards, I mean, not us.

i still need to sort out the backgrounds and draw the leaves on a lot of those beets/red balls, make sure nothing is going out of frame — the dominant aspect ratio has changed considerably in the 13ish years since i started it — , make sure the motion tweens aren’t screwy — the way adobe animate handles them is drastically different than how flash handles them and absolutely unintuitive to figure out, even though if adobe wanted to screw with flash’s design they should have included alt-key eyedropper functionality like every other image editing program in longer than I have been working on this cartoon — and definitely definitely redo the singing. the old voice goes painfully flat in one place and is higher pitched than it should have been since i initially used the same voice that i did for greegorp, since i didn’t initially realize i would be including greegorp singing something in the second part
even if i never finish part 1 i ought to replace the youtube video since its video quality is watery and its resolution very “i don’t have good enough internet to watch anything stronger than this, much less upload it” which is no longer the case.
I have been playing these cartoons on the monitor screen at my art shows and increasingly bothered at the static first scene and bad singing. I at least have the power to improve one of those things now! Also this gives me another excuse to not start drawing the animation for part 3 since i may subconsciously be terrified of attempting to, and the best way to deal with something like that is to not deal with it and let it become more intimidating as more time elapses.


elpse will NOT have any speaking lines and i am not speaking to elpse either.



November 7, 2019
Rip Thomas is the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion, and his appearances on network television have been a thorn in the side of Brell, the head of the struggling World Television Network. Since Rip’s Wrestling show is huge on the ratings and WTN network ratings are slipping down in the ratings.


2-24-2009

11-6-2019

glad to see I have spent ten years well


the first one to me is funny, but the second one actually looks painful and makes me feel bad for the dope! even though the dope LIKES being beaten up by elpse. It also likes when I feel bad so then then I don’t but the dope also likes when I don’t feel bad and that isn’t fair! I do NOT authorize the dope to share in my non-misery! arrrrrrrrrrrgdopes.



August 6, 2019
OUR HERO STANDS BEFORE THE gods and asks that if he fulfills their quest he will join them as an equal? only the hope of the hero’s failure comforts them

Did I have a broken video here for the past 5 days? I thought I switched it to one hosted on my own space but I must not have saved that. Whoooooopth.
////////////////////////

the best of hercules

A person identified as pinderhooks recently alerted me to this. Somebody uploaded the full film without permission from the copyright holder Pulse Distribution and I then likewise edited it without permission from that person.

“Hercules” is a low budget cartoon from 1997,that probably has only about a standard tv time slot’s worth of animation which is stretched, sometimes painfully so, out to 48 minutes so it can occupy an hour block and present itself as a feature film instead. I assure you, the cutting room floor was EMPTY. Everything they had went in here and it still wasn’t enough. Consequently its most striking feature is the profoundly horrid editing; at points there is up to 12 seconds of no/barely any motion before something happens. It has a look like it is animated by the company which did robert smigel’s “saturday tv funhouse” cartoons with assistance from the cdi-Zelda gang for closeups. The only indication that you are seeing the film as intended and not an insulting edit like this one is that the music keeps playing and playing and playing unbroken. I really should have had the sound muted while making this since that dorky trumpet fanfare is haunting me now

I watched it once and had the terrible idea to cut out and assemble all the stupidest parts. Completely on a whim when I have obligations stacked higher than the person who storyboarded this I decided to spend several days making a cheap movie that nobody cares about look even cheaper and less worthy of interest. I initially endeavored to maintain the spirit of the original cut when altering the film but when it came out to over ten minutes, nearly a quarter of the full film’s running time, I wondered if it would even come across that I didn’t extend the length of those scenes myself, and in the event of such a perception, why had i chosen the most boring parts to do that in? Somebody thinking sensibly could probably get this under nine minutes but every time i go looking for stuff to cut out i remember another thing from my initial viewing that might be worth squeezing in there. Somebody wishing to only show everything important and not waste time could probably get it to five minutes.
At times the film resembles a bad stage play, in which actors struggle to remember their lines or read off of cue cards. I wonder if the dialog was recorded live, like an old popeye cartoon, with the actors watching the cartoon and waiting for the right time to say lines, but with a considerably lower production budget and no ad-libbing. At one point you can even hear a character, the boss hydra head, start to say “oh shut up” while the character is off-screen, then seemingly realize it, and wait for the scene to change to complete the line. It is not in this edit; eventually I considered that the significance of that would not come across due to all of my deliberately bad editing.
There are a few moments which could be seen as vulgar and uncharacteristic of what I usually produce but once they suggested themselves to it seemed pointless to not use them. They are vague and might not be apparent anyhow.
I do not actually hate the film, even if Hercules himself is dull and conspicuously beardless, since the primary marketing strategy for this sort of product was to get their product mistaken for the disney version, even if the actual content is quite different, and that second fact works in its favor, I think. Apart from calling every character by their Greek names except for Hercules, but that convention predated Disney’s version. Eurystheus’ voice amuses me. There are numerous bits of weird animation and dialog that I like just as they Are. The film is broken and confused, and I relate to that. It screws up and skews the myths but not to the banal extent that disney did. Hercules, as a “hero” who murdered hundreds of people, including his first wife Megara and their children, and had considerably more male lovers than female, chief among them Iolaus, his companion in this film and nephew (and also recipient of Megara as a re-gift-wife in versions of the story in which Hercules only kills their children and not her), is never going to be a g-rated 1990s role model for children. Hercules’ murderous fit of madness is actually alluded to in this film but you only see a ruined city and it is said that only one person was killed, and that person is not even really dead.
Everything i know about the disney version is from contemporary advertisements for it and a description of Danny Devito’s character that I read on a burger king cup around that time (as with the nuggets, Burger King didn’t bother to not give the cartoon-branded products to regular customers) and what I read on wikipedia just now, but I know it depicts Zeus as monogamous and Hera as Hercules’ biological, non-hating mother. Zeus’ infidelity to Hera and Hera’s utter hatred for Hercules is at the very core of the Hercules story. And making Hades the easy bad guy dumps all nuance of just what the god of the underworld is. He isn’t Satan: he does not buy souls, he doesn’t trick people, He isn’t evil, he just happens to preside over the dead. The Greeks had this idea millenia before mopey nerds started obsessing over the idea of misunderstood sad monsters. Mopey nerds who of course only consider the disney versions of anything so they think this concept is new. Hades does covet the souls he has and takes revenge when people try to cheat death but all the gods are covetous and vengeful. Anyway Hades does not appear in this Hercules film so that is unimportant.



April 30, 2019
As for the corridor, I targeted the fish and seahorses and danced with some sea snakes.


Conceptually, this only took about 5 seconds.
A hurried animation example that nonetheless required days to assemble.
I will probably at least fill in white behind the moving objects and add more pauses, maybe some zooming and panning so it is less confusing, but otherwise this is not designed to be “finished,” not for a long time, anyway.
Also I would greatly appreciate a vector video format similar to flash but without all the proprietary technology and “not supported on any mobile platform” rubbish since exporting something like this as a gif is a miserable process.



March 13, 2019
In 1957, a Popeye the Sailor balloon’s hat filled with water during heavy rain, which caused the balloon to go off-course and pour water on the crowd.



I made some music that caused me to think of hats, and made a picture to accompany that. Then I thought I should have a little animation for it since I have not posted any in a long time. Then I decided to spend three days straight cramming as much stupid trash in there as possible, then spent two more days on it. Then youtube played a series of tricks on me resulting in a “final” product with a number of anomalies that I could fix but don’t want to reupload and make re-public after three past attempts the same day. However they occur too near the end to be at fault if anyone shuts the thing off in disgust.
Then after nearly a week I put up another version about fifty times before finalizing it and then remembering more things I wanted to change anyway that I felt better about.

Also it is a bit long and I couldn’t choose from the two closers I considered. A sensible person would split this into two videos and solve both problems. Indeed.

///////////////////////////////
artichoke this website is a mess. On tuesday i am going to upload another version of the same dumb video and actually look it over properly, in the intended context. And pog willing it will be acceptable and I won’t have any major reservations about its state that allow my mind to justify spending more days making “last minute” revisions after quickly sorting out the one thing I was actually supposed to be doing.
===============================
I have now updated the video and believe that I will not do so again for a much longer period than elapsed between its other updates.



January 23, 2019
the birth of an industry, you poor stupid guy! YOU telling ME what the public will buy?


a just barely edited video to show the latest developments in degeneration. I have not spent the time to make a proper video to share on websites other than this one since the dopes still have the same bland green cheerio attack and terrible sound effects from eh fifteen years ago, and the last part has even more stuff that has to go, including the boring old “weapons,” but I was bored of that ugly test room. I intend for there to be at least THREE ways to destroy dopes but these at least do as many things as the old dopes did, apart from attack with their umbrellas, since they no longer have umbrellas since there are too many existing characters which attack with umbrellas, and that was so even before i gave the first dopes umbrellas!
a bonus that i missed at first: the dope at approximately 29 seconds melts without being hit. It is so: these dopes are SO DUMB that after doing their STUPID dance they RANDOMLY DROP DEAD! Unfortunately I fixed that and it won’t happen again. I wouldn’t mind it but they still have the ability to take regular damage and then start walking around again so that is just confusing! I COULD set them to randomly drop dead and stay that way but that is too stupid to do on purpose.



December 5, 2018
I seriously question your so-called “intelligence” by using statictics to “prove” that people who prefer one type of follower over another are “stoopid” (BTW, I spelled “stupid” wrong to make a point).

I do not know if this counts as progress but it seems worth[less] mentioning



What is WRONG with those things? They just want to follow me around, to CHASE me, and for WHAT? Just so they can do THAT? I want to KILL those things. Unfortunately i have not drawn new destruction frames for them yet and so can only get angry at them. What is especially infuriating is the red dopes: they will be OBSESSED with locating the player dope but then turn around, go into their STUPID dance and just FORGET they had a plan. I didn’t see any red dopes for a few minutes and then found them all staring at the same empty corner. what HORRIBLE dopes.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: January 10, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
Fortunately pog is one of the few creatures that would probably not get depressed at being...
January 9, 2020
space filly from space but not sez:
why spending a fortune in antidepressants when you can watch elpse hitting...
January 9, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
they point out the obvious and are really bored by it. you are welcome to pick up the...
January 9, 2020
Charmlatan sez:
If this is a statement of films and shows ever increasing need to point out the obvious than...
January 1, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
charmo: I can’t think of any reason why you would want to stay in that place except to...
January 1, 2020
Purplespace sez:
Lope’s idea of being famous is wearing slightly more elaborate clothing than it already...
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