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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
January 1, 2019
Sun Lang had all his military ranks and appointments stripped off, was disowned from the Sun family and forced to change his name to Ding Lang.

2018 in pictures

janu handle it


or february of it


marf


ayp


may

june


july


august


september


october


novemeberg

december


That is everything that happened this year which wasn’t depressing



December 26, 2018
The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation is a 2010 sequel to the ABC Family 2009 movie The Dog Who Saved Christmas.


You may need to click at that twice for it to be remotely legible. i will need to make a separate section on the regular comic sub-website for these because increasingly they are not able to be read when reduced to a degree that fits here! And there are things wrong with this to needlessly point out apart from that.
I thought I could save time but not obsessing over the visuals, since this is stupid anyway, but it still ended up taking days, even unfussed. Or actually it took a year since it is based on opposing, non-acknowledging trash-content site posts which I saw last year, in search of what I cannot remember. People can find ways to be authoritative, elitist and condemnatory about any topic. Really the first box without the “argue” statement would have sufficed.



December 19, 2018
Stupid Little Golf Video (released as Leslie Nielsen’s Stupid Little Golf Video in the United States) is the third and last of the how-to-golf-badly trilogy,


here are dope “pain” frames. of course it is rather un-dope like to show pain, so some/most of these may be repurposed as templates on which to draw other in-pain imps. I do not know how many more imps will need to be included. I fear there is a great many imps to whom retribution is owed.
This one will hop a bit when damaged. I do not know yet what effect causing the sprite to hop will have on the actual player dope’s control, but enemy dopes (all dopes are my enemies) should at least do it properly. This should NOT be taken as evidence of their competence and general ability to do any thing properly.
Also by now i can confirm that the player dope can indeed hop when struck. That does not mean I am impressed!

The second one has 8 views rather than 5 because i do not want its unusual pose to be mirrored when facing left. I do however want to have a full rotation of mirrored poses so I have a third pain frame. it will look bad at the front and back views since for them the alternate pose would be mirrored versions of themselves rather than the view across from them.

and so on this third set I included fresh, not totally mirrored alternate poses for the front and back, so that they cannot awkwardly switch to a backward version of themselves if harmed again before recovering. It is hard to see but I redrew the faces, moved the ears, changed the shading and things like that. I forgot which one actually IS facing forward so I made what turned out to be an alternate for facing front left also. Because I have a poisoned brain. Anyway this means this dope now has 5 potential pain gestures for each direction, so even if minimal effort to make the mirrors look less so is not sufficient, the chance of jumping from one to its backward clone is only 20% and would only be a factor when facing straight at or away from the player. I also went and added a manually reversed and resurfaced alternate for the second pain pose’s front view. Does that make sense? It shouldn’t!


When I have my dopes in a row I will present a full comparison of these beside the “original” dopes from 15ish years ago. In this one state you can see that while they got sad, they maintained their composure.

in the “game” the rendering engine was instructed by me to warp the graphics for this pain state. the warping unfortunately works in a very limited range of ways and it looks somewhat sloppy when it only appears for an instant, for there is no transition in and out of warp.

beyond that the sprite needs void of a height and width to prevent the warped part from wrapping around one edge to the other. Ths warp effect was designed to be put on floor graphics, you see.


Having all the extra space is no big meal for 1994-style low resolution sprites, but when I make them extra large, so that I can barely see them full sized in the Slade editor, and am drawing loads more frames, void management becomes yet more cumbersome.
you really don’t care, do you! Alas I must proceed as if you do.

the only warp currently in effect is on the pink brute’s wing-like attachments. the unseemliness of the warp effect is less obvious when it only affects a part. However, that also means that for this state at least the creature must be inserted into the game separate from its wings, which is its own bigger-then-necessary hassle. Doing that for EVERY frame would be a hassle ludicrous in size beyond already being ludicrous since I would need to spawn and remove the wings for every single in-game tic due to my lacking the presumably meager coding prowess necessary to make the separated wings merely follow what the pink dork is doing.
Observe also that one of the test dopes is in a pain frame even though it is NOT being struck; that is because I inadvertently gave the whole run of new pain frames internal names which conflict with the names I already gave to the idle frames I showed two weeks ago.

I forgot I had reserved the prefix “dopi,” with i meaning idle. I was today thinking i meaning injured! I didn’t want to go with dopp for pain or doph for hurt because I wanted to use just the vowels, not expecting I would need more than 4 extra sets of dope animation frames beyond the base “dope” I use for the normal stomping around animation. Each four letter frame set name can have up to 29 frames in it. I apparently was worried that 116 would not be enough stupid garbage to draw from 5 or more directions!
I used up to F — not using B in case I decided to also do mirror alternates with that first set I showed here — so only G of the idle frames still shows up!

ALSO! The first one is DOPIE7E3, which means it should be E facing right (angle 7) and E mirrored facing left (angle 3). However, its accidental replacement,


DOPIE7F3, is frame E ONLY when facing 7 right; it is F when it is mirrored to 3! Which means??! What SHOWS UP as DOPI-E3 in-game is no longer that standing graphic mirrored but actually

THIS graphic DOPIE3F7 NON-mirrored! Oh what a situation!
and then this graphic MIRRORED replaces

DOPIF7G3, which should be forwards! What a catastrophe! And DOPI-G3 is not replaced at all which means while this graphic DOES show up, it will only EVER be seen BACKWARDS! Why aren’t I in jail?

But nothing exploded so I should be safe to fix this and then all that will no longer be relevant! In fact I can fix it faster (I merely rename the second DOPI series to DOPO, O for “oh no”) than it took me to make all those pictures and text explaining it! But please believe I regularly screw up bigger than that and take longer to realize both what problem there is and what I or anything else did to cause it. I of course blame nemitz.

This is important to me for some reason. The sooner I conquer it, the better for everyone. For dope detractors and supporters alike. Although if you are personally acquainted with any dope supporters please refer them to the jail that I somehow am not in.



December 11, 2018
The cover gained some controversy to some fans claiming that the robot killed the members and also, retailer Kmart refused to sell it.[13] fans were upset that a huge robot killed the band and the record label released the album anyway, with the picture glorifying the act.


The second (and first also) “issue” of my comic books can now be ordered from http://www.indyplanet.us/bimshwel
It features 36 needlessly dense pages, artwork superior to my photography, considerably more legible lettering than the first book and NO DOPES ((actually there is one dope on the inside back cover, don’t tell anyone).

The linked page has them for 8 dollars, which may feel a tad excessive for a comic book but most comic books there have less content per page and eight fewer of them. More panels stuffed into the the same space is not necessarily “better” but I think it suits what I am doing better than the other way would have! Or at least it had better since I sure am not going to change it after all that. And then it would end up being a 48 page book and even more expensive!

Of course it can still be browsed for free up to and beyond that point also on the internet, but people on the internet are peculiar sometimes so I offer both options to them.

ALSO: if you dwell outside the federated republic of United Statia and want this for some reason but think the international shipping cost is exorbitant (I sure do), please contact me directly at [email protected] and I can send one to you through rinkety dinkity postal mail, although I could not guess when it would get to you! This is a fairly stupid time of year to try and mail things.


However, I would have gotten this out of my way much sooner if I could! “Currently, it’s taking *at least* 4-6 weeks from when a book ships to when it goes live” eventually struck me as meaning: “NOTHING will happen BEFORE 4 weeks and afterward it could be any length of time. weeks months years.” the “-6” is misleading. it has no meaning.
I only found out the book was finally available during a cursory check on it before I wrote a second annoyed request for information; the robot never contacted me!


Gimme a break, robot. That “i was driving to the bathroom when you called” story isn’t going to cut it this time. What kind of idiot would make a robot that even needs to do that? This smiling moron should be able to interface directly with the robot car instead of needing to operate external controls!


Another more worrisome matter: It has been brought to my attention that after months of obsessively relettering the internal text, I left out the M in “bimshwellian” on the FRONT COVER of the newish comic book! Order now before I fix that, and be the owner of a rare collectors’ item. Apart from the huge pile of them I ordered for my own purposes months ago and the fact that I might not get around to changing it at all.



December 5, 2018
I seriously question your so-called “intelligence” by using statictics to “prove” that people who prefer one type of follower over another are “stoopid” (BTW, I spelled “stupid” wrong to make a point).

I do not know if this counts as progress but it seems worth[less] mentioning



What is WRONG with those things? They just want to follow me around, to CHASE me, and for WHAT? Just so they can do THAT? I want to KILL those things. Unfortunately i have not drawn new destruction frames for them yet and so can only get angry at them. What is especially infuriating is the red dopes: they will be OBSESSED with locating the player dope but then turn around, go into their STUPID dance and just FORGET they had a plan. I didn’t see any red dopes for a few minutes and then found them all staring at the same empty corner. what HORRIBLE dopes.



November 27, 2018
1983 took a noticeable downturn, with the laugh track being considerably muted and poorly edited. By 1984, the editors corrected this problem, with the laughs reverting back to 1982 minus the effective titter track.


page 3-32 of the the questionable comic strip
did you notice at one point that the lighting flips all the way around? i started drawing it correctly, then thought it was wrong and flipped it around. But once I thought “this lighting looks really nice” i knew that meant i had screwed up. And so for once decided to leave it that way, because you probably DIDN’T notice the lighting flipped around. and if you did, you can potentially imagine that elpse just ran around the block, even though the front of the apartment building is still visible. I only recognize it as the front because I hate drawing it so much and always need to use a reference from its regrettable non-designed initial appearance. Lighting can change but ugly architecture cannot.



November 21, 2018
Many mascots have different reasons for boycotting the race. Bladey is a long standing mascot who has the respect of his mascotting colleagues such as Roary The Tiger from Hull, and our own mascot of 13 years Poacher The Imp. However as well as support for Bladey there is also the fear that football mascots might have been exploited just one too many times.


Dear dear dear, NEMITZ is SENSITIVE now. Oh PARDON ME, nemitz. Have i OFFENDED your DELICATE sensibilities??! Have I BESMIRCHED your refined tastes? Get back to work, you anthropomorphic koosh ball.


I am sick of having to do damage control after nemitz’ pity parades. It’s visible to everyone? Too bad, they probably got sick of nemitz’s diva episodes. What’s the matter, nemitz, did pog’s dressing room door have a sparklier star than yours? I heard that on opening night nemitz REFUSED to perform until one of the orchestra members took off a bright green scarf because nemitz thought it was too “distracting.” I heard that during the tuesday night table readings the scripts are always good but then mysteriously when it comes time to shoot the episode on thursday all the best lines have MYSTERIOUSLY gone to nemitz. I can’t stand it. All the contractually secured “creative” control you bullied the network into granting you won’t control public opinion. Get over yourself, dumb mitz. I don’t even want to talk about this anymore.



November 13, 2018
And even the toilet comes to life to voice her displeasure over the experience. After hearing this, Theodore tells the truth and vows to never play with the toilet again, and La-Lu congratulates him and later gets him ready for his nap.

page 31 of part 3 of the comic strip.


I planned this with a blow gun without really thinking about it. When I came back to it two weeks ago that seemed bland. I couldn’t think of anything to change it to except a sling shot, but then remembered i already used a slingshot on a page that i suppose realistically was not all that long ago. I also considered but did not draw a tiny bow-and-arrow but justified reverting to the blow gun on the grounds that kumquat looks funny opening its mouth like that. But then I had to tilt its angle more toward the viewer to seem less like it was deliberately aiming away from elpse, and consequently made it look less funny!

I also had to mirror the layouts over flow of information concerns and hopefully this will not screw up the page after this which I already laid out with the expectation that kumquat was attacking from the right instead of left!



November 8, 2018
I understand you will leave to continue your journey. What a restless guy!

If anyone is still out there after that last thing I put up, which I stand behind, 93%, here is page 30 of part 3 of the comic strip.

My only consolation: finding out that I’m my one true obligation.
Who needs a dream? Who needs ambition? Who’d be the fool in my position? Not very many, the way things are going, there’ll soon be one less. No one in your life is with you constantly. No one is completely on your side. And though I moved my world to be with them, still the gap between us was too wide. And I won’t miss them, they made it perfectly clear: I was a fool and probably queer. Not a help, you’ll admit, to agreement between us. I’ve taken mitz for seven years and I won’t take it anymore. Each day got through means one or two less mistakes remain to be made.

Let man’s petty fandoms tear themselves apart. It brings me no joy adding to their satisfaction. Bit by bit the pieces fit the bimshwellian machine advances, not one move that won’t improve our nation’s chances. This is the one situation I wanted most to avoid. What on earth am I doing, I could be better employed! I don’t care if you’re a champion, no one messes with me. I am ruthless in upholding what I know is right, black or white, as you’ll see. I’m on the case, can’t be fooled. Any objection is overruled. One night in bimshwel and the tough guys tumble. If you don’t like it then it’s up to you. You’ve a better reason to be anti-nem than me. How can you let mediocrity win? Who do these foreign chappies think they are? I can’t believe that they don’t see my game; I’m like that tennis player — what’s his name? Maybe it’s a bit confusing, for a game, but rubik’s cubes were much the same. And the appeal, partner, of this deal, partner, Is we both stand to win; We’ll bring back the golden era.

No no, you’re reacting exactly the way that they waaaaant! And ehhhhvery poison word shows that you never understood. You take care you don’t let their shenanigans blind you. It’s all very well to say “you fool!” It’s now or never. I could be choosing no choices whatsoever. Sad to see the ancient and distinguished game that used to be very like another when your head’s down over your pieces, brother.



November 6, 2018
In 1978, legislation was introduced in the state of Maryland to make it illegal to play “Short People” on the radio. Contrary to urban legend, the bill did not obtain enough votes to pass.[4]


This sign advertising the republican primary is actually still up, but even the actual election sign only offers “cut taxes” as any indication of what this person will do and I suspect the sign’s keeper didn’t notice the difference. Although “cut taxes” is loads more information than these signs typically give.

Stefanowski is running against Ned flippin-dippin Lamont, who I complained about in 2006 as also having nothing new to say or contribute. As with the 2014 election, I do not think it matters which one of them gets in. Ned of course won the democrat gubernatorial primary on the strength of not winning the previous Connecticut election he was in for a lower office.

My brother Een produced a song parody that I don’t totally understand. It depicts Ned Lamont in a ludicrous fashion, but treats Stefanowski in a sincere and serious fashion even though he is just as much a red/blue stereotype as his opponent. And then does it to the tune of a song by someone whose prime fans are cartoonishly devoted to the opposition party. But Ian came and jump started “my” car when I was stuck in the miserable Walmart parking lot yesterday because I hate driving a car and every aspect of it exists to spite me, so I know Ian is a decent person. Would Bob Stefanowski help me get away from Walmart?

As usual, the only candidate who actually proposes anything is the one who isn’t supposed to be allowed to win, Oz Griebel, and wasn’t supposed to even be allowed to debate but slipped into one on a technicality when people running the venue were under the impression he was a great and powerful wizard.

Which is not to say I believe in Griebel, but of the three he offers something that can potentially be believed in. I don’t believe in anyone anymore who I cannot directly interact with.
I had wanted Trump to win the nomination in 2016 and gut the party because I underestimated republicans’ ability to be party members first and humans second. I also underestimated the democrats’ ability to pander and regress themselves to try and compete with that. People that get retweeted at me simultaneously say “you’re part of the problem” if you don’t vote for what you believe in and also that you’re “throwing your vote away” if you don’t vote for the sad compromise that they order you to take. I might as WELL vote for a wizard. Half these people are corrupt imbeciles, and the rest are running for office.

Ned Lamont has an unusual bonus this time in that some group has paid for and distributed sarcastic campaign signs announcing that he is “for taxes and tolls” even though only Griebel is openly in favor of tolls. They are obviously fake signs because the real Ned signs don’t say he is for anything. We only know that he is the white guy with a three letter name who is NOT going to cut taxes, and with the people I know, that might just be enough. Even though they don’t actually pay all the taxes because they get their wages in cash off the record.

I do not have a picture of these signs because I only see them when driving.
I hate driving. But I also hate having so many pictures that I cannot finish what I am writing because I want to insert them all. But I hate even more describing something that would work better if I had a picture of it. You know what I like? Lo mein. I believe in noodles.

I actually don’t mind paying for road improvements because I hate driving and would like to feel slightly less like I am going to suffer imminently every time I do it. My issue with tolls is that paying them is terrifying because it requires getting in a specific lane and having a specific amount of money and probably having somebody behind you angry at you for something beyond anybody’s control. Or you have to pay a fee to get a special automatic toll-paying brick from the government, even though the point is to help THEM get money from you more easily. I would rather mail Ned a dollar every week, and I hate mailing almost as much as I hate driving. I will vote for the candidate that will institute a statewide pneumatic tube system so I do not have to drive again.

Although the previous winner, Dan Malloy, declined to seek re-election because he was so tired of people complaining about the non-job he was doing, that gives me no hope that the next job-haver will do a better non-job.
(Ian ALSO has a song about Dan Malloy, and I like this one better because Ian sings it himself and it isn’t to the tune of something I can tell he doesn’t care about, but you wouldn’t know it without excavating it from facebook because the unaltered music from the original song that Ian sang over got it blocked on Youtube which I discovered just now. And then the video shills for some local radio dorks whom I doubt have his best interests in mind)
Grimbedly poketer, nobody complains more than people who win and get what they what.


Something that is “really popular” obviously is liked by more people than hate it. These scumbags get to smear their essence on everything while pretending to be victims.
This guy is set for life and was putting out the narrative “anyone who doesn’t like this thing that I made is a hater” in ADVANCE of it being available, –literally assuming it WOULD get popular because it was already crowdfunded for more money then I will smell in six lifetimes– and people that I KNOW are repeating this years later like that is to his credit, IN ADVANCE of whatever other thing he made more recently, even though the first thing ended up just about the most loved and inescapable heap of happy hype plopaganda relative to the amount of effort involved that may have ever existed and everyone involved has a mutually beneficial situation.

You know what happens if someone who actually is hated complains about being hated? Nothing, because people actually hate that person!

This forklogan who is only ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THIS HAPPENED is exponentially more loved than I have ever experienced! And doesn’t even watch the page, judging from its own screenshot, only leeches off it.

I don’t have a choice to not know or to form an independent opinion on the pertinent matter, which i have personally dumbed “Dintydoone” so I can pretend it is a combination of my favorite inexplicably named supermarket products that also thrive without me ever buying them. I only know it is there because I try to force myself to deal with things that I would rather not be aware of, to give an amount of consideration to the people who come to me, because I worry that avoiding what my instincts tell me are bad news makes me look like an unkind person, and my inability to function when put in that position has made me LESS kind. I don’t have a choice to simply not be interested, even though if I mention what I like I get gloated at like “ho ho I’ve never even SEEN that” like it’s an accomplishment that they haven’t, if I get acknowledged at all, which I probably won’t be. Maybe, MAYBE we are BOTH have a right to like different things. I don’t understand how this is a foreign concept. Of course our political system is preposterous: THESE are the people the candidates have to reach.
And I can’t just not use twitter because the websites that make sense were thoroughly devalued when every person who already gets what they want vacated those sites in favor of ones like this where nobody EXCEPT them can do so.

Do i overreact? Yes absolutely! This is a consequence of a life spent as a square peg trying to get through a round hole when I am actually a tea kettle, and now the culture is dictated entirely by square pegs which includes the hole which is also now square. My only hope is to avoid it entirely. I don’t mind people having their fun and their own personal false gods. They can be furries and bronies and John Balbonies but it is imperative that they be people foremost, and accept that no frivolous expenditure of time can have unanimous approval. Whatever the case I won’t beat myself up anymore for not liking enough stuff that I have no foundation on which to like, and hopefully I won’t make [as many] spiteful drawings on the topic, either.

At least the Hamilton guy, who came into and ruined a piece of my life equal in size around the same time has humility about his fame and considers that it is something of a fluke, even if his creative work comes from the perspective of the abrasively unhumble. He knows, on some level, that is garbage and only for show. I don’t know if he tries to communicate that to his fans, but he definitely wasn’t on 60 minutes 4 times warning people that there is something wrong with them if they don’t like his annoying songs. I bet he would jump start my car even if he read this first, although he might jump ON the car and sing a few lines from Man of LaMancha as punishment for my besmirching attitude.

I heard a [different] song, again, without wishing to, whose primary lyric was “i wish that i could be like the cool kids. like the cool kids.” no rhyme, just that over and over again. While this seems in conflict with “i’m a nerd and i’m cool” and thus a distinct personality type, both speak of a feeling of subjugation. “I’m not cool, I’m not good enough” & “I AM cool, other people who think they are cool actually aren’t.” People in the first group aspire to be the people in the second group. Both see themselves as nerds that society does not approve of, and both are disingenuous. If your song is on the radio and I hear it at the laundromat, you ARE the cool kids. And then if you say you are a nerd, then I have said this before.


Oh chads. Having a prefabricated message from nobody that mysteriously speaks in the first person and that is sent to every single actual person regardless of merit or attempt at it has thoroughly appeased my desire to be appreciated, and so I go out and vote for my favorite factor of purple now.


which is convenient since I literally cannot determine a thing about either of these people beyond that one is a lawyer and the other filed for bankruptcy in 2010. I have to think if somebody WANTS to be the dintdooned registrar of voters they would have a reason for it, or at the very least some piece of personal information they would want me to know before I knew they filed for bankruptcy.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: March 19, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
Now that I am finally getting critical feedback? I must be doing something right!
March 19, 2019
YOUr cosuscking dAD sez:
yoUR COMIC IS HOMO EROTIC GARBAGE YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF YOUR WORTHLESS SACKA A SHIT
March 17, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
A new hat pandemic is coming. Consider this a vaccination.
March 17, 2019
akickassbladeforgedbyelvis sez:
Yeesh! I when I woke up in the morning I was kind of prepared for hats. But this...
March 16, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
If I made a video about visors it would be all tennis players and accountants. Indeed there...
March 15, 2019
Charmlatan sez:
The first .mp4 embedded video was not downloading quick enough. I can view it now, of course....
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    01-15-2006
    MeSpace
    11-EH-2005
    Biggest Loser
    10-EH-2005
    Mall Blandness
    07-20-2005
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    01/05/05
    Belindi
    11/03/04
    Mall Egadness
    09/22/04
    Las Vegas
    07/30/04
    Spiderman 2
    07/20/04
    Jope and Dopes
    06/27/04
    These Green Eyes
    04/24/04
    Friday
    04/01/04
    Wedding
    03/07/04
    Game Over
    03/02/04
    McDenny's
    01/09/04
    Mall orneryness
    01/06/04
    Movies I'm not going to see
    11/14/03
    Back fashion school to
    09/14/03
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    06/14/03
    JList
    06/03/03
    France
    03/31/03
    Official pizza of Nascar
    03/16/03
    Browsers
    02/23/03
    Michael Jackson
    2/16/03
    Free Speech
    02/05/03
    Thursday
    01/23/03
    Doofs
    01-whenever-03
    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same