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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
November 18, 2020
Another woman wearing a blue T-shirt stands by, yelling obscenities to people in the store for unknown reasons.

This is SMART living because you would be a FOOL to pass up a chance to own a GOLD pumpkin

These must be the only three people who could beat him up. The emasculated quivering coward begging for quarter that only WE knew. Or maybe they are just more familiar with the beardless version shown here, which admittedly I am not.

He looks like he is fed up with people prank calling his office and asking for Matt Damon

Before this goes any further i need you to understand that vegetables most certainly canNOT beans.

Not in AMERICA, anyway. go to europe if you intend to engage in that sort of hedonistic rubbish.

You know what, go wherever you want, just go away from me.

the best thing about a world wide pandemic isn’t political parties making ignoring safety precautions a left or right-wing issue, it is definitely there being no clear end to the thing so that corporations have plenty of time to mass-produce smirky merchandise that just accept pandemic life is a given and here to stay. I expect these are produced by workers only kept about six inches apart.

i realize this is the future and I am not supposed to laugh at people with impairments anymore but I am going to laugh at Mighty Sight anyway. oh haha.

I just indicated it is improper to laugh at impairments, but that doesn’t mean you should be PROUD of not having ears. And it seems shortsighted, though mercifully not eyeless, as this creature doesn’t have limbs either!
but I am idding of course; seen from the front this whatever-this-is actually says “FEARLESS,” which makes even less sense since lacking ears, arms and your entire lower body is a valid plight to fear. If I assume this is just meant to be representative of the full-bodied character in its original feature Frozen film context it still doesn’t make sense, as much of the plot of the film is a consequence of this character being totally afraid. First of turning people into ice, and then being afraid of having turned everything else into ice instead, and then the writers were afraid of making this insanely marketable character into an actual villain, and so rolled some dice to arbitrarily assign “villain” to another character with almost no development 75% of the way through the film, even though he never created a giant evil snow monster out of nothing and tried to kill his own sister with it, or worse, another smaller snow monster that is voiced by patron saint of shrill mediocrity Josh Gad thereby transforming him into an inescapable, insufferable media presence after this film grossed over a billion dollars, and then pre-emptively ruining the first movie Rick Moranis agreed to appear in after almost 25 years grape grimpity.

hey look it’s Terry Bradshaw, that guy from commercials, bad talk shows and SHINGLES. Apparently he also played the American footed ball a long time ago, but is still evidently the most recent marketable nfl player without any major criminal convictions who hasn’t been killed by injuries the league insisted weren’t a big deal or their responsibility whenever the prior statement is proven false. Likewise he probably doesn’t eat chicken nuggets, definitely never did at such a time that he was “prep[aring] for the win,” and appropriate enough isn’t eating any in this picture, but he doesn’t mind if you do! And he doesn’t mind if you don’t since he already got paid.

He never puts any Red Man Chewin Dabacca in his mouth either. Red Man Chewin Dabacca, it’s like taking a big bite of an indigenous person and then spitting it out.

November 7, 2020
Presidents Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush,[9] and, most recently, Bill Clinton[7] have also been separated from the football. In none of these cases was the integrity of the football breached.

11-16-2020 these have perhaps been among the most surreal three days of my life, and yesterday was definitely the most tiring. but it continues. “because of covid” can be used to justify pretty much any arbitrary delay or disposal of function
11-15-2020 a lot more of that than i expected! no a proper website piece is not popular. also this house is freezing. the new house shouldn’t be freezing. also today is my mother’s birthday and I have not done anything about that either! and I actually meant to! this is not a good house for doing what I mean to do!
11-14-2020 i will be probably assisting in loading a truck to finally commence really moving out of this house, after more than six years after the first attempt to sell it. I like to imagine I will feel more in control of my existence once all that is done with, and will do something more useful with it, maybe even with this!

Why isn’t the LAMEstream media reporting this?

or maybe he meant a parking lot.

no, seriously? he won days ago, dorks. I believe it is in fact quite common for votes to not all be counted for days, but to have so many states without a clear majority which the trailing party cannot mathematically overcome is uncommon, yet still not unprecedented. Media being afraid to project a winner, that is new. Still it was undeniable by yesterday except to career-denialists. As somebody who lives most of my life in denial, I can recognize that!

I don’t see a point to gloating about Biden prevailing since Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell got re-elected clean, so them and their ilks can still obstruct progress like always, and Trump is still the president until January 20. Biden isn’t anyone’s first choice, probably not even his, and anyone with high expectations will likely be disappointed. Plus the covid is still out for blood, and all the people who weren’t helping before will continue not helping.

November 2, 2020
Hunkerers urged United States President Dwight Eisenhower and General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union Nikita Khrushchev to hunker together to end their differences.[10]

Election day eve update: Joe Biden is still not cool. And less new than ever.
I can believe Biden abused his political position to meddle in a foreign government’s business to get his family money. That’s about the only thing Trump hasn’t abused his position to get, because he spent his entire professional life accumulating wealth through abuse.
I don’t think Biden belongs in this position. I think he was forced upon voters even harder than Hillary Clinton was, long before any campaigns even started. However, I can at least believe some things that he says. I can believe that he wants to improve something, anything.
in 2016 I thought: eh Trump is in, I will see what he does, in this role, and not pre-emptively condemn him and panic over unsubstantiatable rumors. Now I have seen that he dodges responsibility, lies about everything, insults everyone, same as before, and almost worse, is applauded for that. If he has real plans for things that matter, I can’t tell.
the Obama administration before that, while superficially an improvement over its predecessors, failed to end numerous bad Bush-era policies, greatly increased the numbers of drones in combat, couldn’t control the police, installed an incomplete health care system…Trump hasn’t really changed much, if any of that, for the better.
Biden MIGHT be different from Obama, and not necessarily worse. But Trump will be the same as Trump. Nothing he has ever done makes me think he means at all well in his screw ups. So based on that I can prefer one over the other. That is about as much optimism as I can manage! I still wouldn’t vote for either of them, but I will vote for somebody.

gosh the connecticut ballot is worse than I thought this year.

October 27, 2020
don’t forget to ask about upgrading to the hopper

11-2-2020 522pm: i make political posts regularly on the twitter website and it never gets me anywhere, since while I have nothing pleasant to say about Trump I can’t bring myself to praise Biden, either, and nobody cares if you have nuanced thoughts or doubts. and anyway the GARBAGE is so constant I don’t have time to make proper website posts about it, which is thus probably for the best!

the comic strip pages that “will” comprise “book 4” have been touched up, re-lettered and reordered to mostly an extent that I feel is adequate. I say mostly because I decided actually getting them sorted out and in order and on the website and pushing down the previous utterly un-art-related website entry but that might appear to a casual observer as if I was taking credit for the plumbing company marketing I was actually complaining about was more important than correcting every single ancient graphical blemish that I just today realized I hadn’t fixed yet.
Also there are now thirty pages! It still seems like too few but it is more than there were.

as previously noted, there are two new pages, meant to come after what had previously been 62 and is now 49, but not immediately after, thus it being pushed back 13 spaces. There is also a new half page, partially on what is now 56 and what is now 60 but only of the existing very crowded content being spaced out more, and then the section ends a half-page later than it previously did, to rest on an actual revelation and not the robot idea that I ultimately did nothing with, still working out to end at the end of a page due to the restructuring I already mentioned!
consequently the next section starts a half page later than it previously did, but I filled the half page in a way that I initially hoped would aid clarity and presentation but may not have accomplished that, but since nothing was removed to make room for it, it does not necessarily make a great deal less sense than before.

October 19, 2020
Mr. Pizza will be remembered for his passion for law and spending a record 45 years in the Lucas County Prosecutor’s Office.

I was yesterday made aware of this via a blurry phonetograph of truck spotted on the highway:

the 1990s deviantart-anime-webcomic mister t logo and slogan were bad enough, but the doofus narrator actually says “we pity the stool” in what I assume is a mr.t impression voice at the end of this terrible video. As a profoundly white being myself I, personally, don’t care if a white guy wants to try and impersonate a black guy’s voice if he happens to be good at it, but this one is very bad at it.
what is with this drawing? Am I supposed to want this guy to come to my house and beat up my pipes? And risk getting his jewelry dirty?
I am sure the company has a lawyer that assured everyone involved, first of all, that “#1 plumber in connecticut” is an ambiguous enough set of words to not need to strictly be proven, and also that “a-team” is a generic phrase uncopyrighted with regard to plumbing, and that as long as the cartoon is vague and is never explicitly identified as being a representation of Lawrence Tureaud akadaka “Mr. T” this is totally legal and acceptable. It is still stupid and embarrassing and not sure if it is targeting 50-70 year olds who would actually have watched the a-team and own homes now or 30-40 year olds who knew Mr. T as a proto-meme (in my case twenty years ago literally drawn over a proto-man) and were aware that he said “i pity the fool” about something on some occasion but probably rely on a landlord or equivalent entity to deal with broken home infrastructure, but in neither instance would he be associated with quality leak-fixing services.
And as far as I can tell, T’s character B A Baracus never wore gold chains on The A Team nor vowed to pity fools, but that doesn’t matter; the point is that I don’t know what the point is.

the website makes absolutely no mention of the logo, Mr.T or anything to do with the a-team television program (nor thankfully the insufferable yet equally unrelated to the tv show or plumbing ed sheeran song), but does appear to be promoting that its employees are pushy and looking for silly things to charge you for.

Benjamin Franklin makes much more sense because he was historically about three feet tall and did carry around a wrench almost as big and crawl about in human waste dressed in goofy 18th century government garb and a wig.

i presume this all started when some university dork saw an ad for an “a-1 plumbing” service and then thought hey wouldn’t it be FUNNY if it was a-TEAM plumbing? and Mr. T was in the commercial and said *bad mr. t voice* I PITY THE PIPES!” and then borrowed 200 thousand dollars from his parents and actually made it happen because that is the sort of life that sort of person lives.

why does a french fry truck need an obnoxious star trek reference –that I only know IS a star trek reference from witnessing so many obnoxious references to it– as its name and slogan? the same reason a plumbing company needs a confused Mr. T reference: it doesn’t but the boss said it had to.

it apparently no longer says “resistance is futile” on the webpage or the trucks but the rest of the goony text mess remains. I would assume this guy also made Streptococcus Paiella with A-Team plumbing’s artist if I didn’t remember that it doesn’t exist because I made that page myself as a joke. Clearly I missed the point of life and everything that is a joke to me is a potentially lucrative business. “Jon” talking about himself talks like I did on web pages that I soon after hoped and stopped short of praying would eventually be purged from existence because everybody rightfully hated me for talking like that. I tried to stop being a corny idiot instead of doubling down on it and having the money to buy a truck lying around.
I never ate cinnamon toast crunch as a child or adult nor actively sought memes so perhaps that limited my mind from entering the contentedly mediocre state necessary to lose all shame and shill at everyone I know to get them to finance my grand bland garbage aspirations, and now the living embodiment of that has been US president for almost four years, and people in my own family that I never asked for money voted for him and look forward to doing so again. But I do not request pity; save that for the stool.

October 5, 2020
Spyro, on the other hand, is a little jealous of all the attention being given to the faun rather than himself, and took matters into his own belly~

a robision for cyanic of Sudo the Caralynx, having been ambushed by dopes in a jungle setting

I have no idea why somebody would pay me to draw their character getting hassled by dopes. If I were a morally upright sort perhaps I would decline but I prefer this to being asked to draw morbid obesity fetish that swears it isn’t a fetish-art or morbid-dullardry fetish animal people wearing jeans pants and drinking coffee. Also since i theoretically “created” dopes I don’t need to look up references to draw them properly, and know that in fact no dope is proper.

September 29, 2020
Even though these blue-colored versions of Bowser likely affected the depiction of Bowser’s Brother, they are not stated to be him.

ehhhhdit: yes it looks better after today’s alterations but I feel uninclined to replace the video right this moment!

a fairly annoying video. i under-estimated how noisy it would be, since I had increased the frequency with which they make noises in order to ensure they were making noises at the correct times, and then only recorded in rooms that contained about fifty of the dumb things. particularly the ignoble noise they emit after being defeated is conspicuous here, playing at intervals of 8 to 64 game-time units rather than 256 to 1024, and one of the sounds it can play is louder than I thought it was.
because the sounds themselves were recorded between 2003 and today, in sometimes less than adequate accoustical circumstances, because I couldn’t find the thing that lets me use a microphone with this incredibly shoddily designed combined earphone/microphone port, or it was before I had a microphone at all. I have both now, thank you, good luck.
I will hopefully give them a means to explode when hit with exploding objects since that they lack one here doesn’t seem at all fair.

September 19, 2020
after taking careful measurements of perceptual responses, he realized that no symmetrical shape would do, so he reorganized his system into a lumpy blob.[44]

wurf this took long enough.
two supplemental pages for book 4 of this, showing something that is mildly alluded to later, since I introduced the idea of these dumb blobs so long ago without a plan, thinking a plan might arise, and then it never did and I forgot about them for a while. They are placed as 63 and 64 for now just so they will come after 62 but I want to put 62 earlier.

what is presently page 3-01 i may break into two pages since it is too cluttered for what it shows and it may work as 2-65 instead so the book gets and extra page, and then also i can end on a revelation with actual implications rather than the lurking robot since that ultimately is a non-issue.

Somehow it took me two weeks to draw these pages even though hardly anything is happening. The machine design was frustrating and I worried it looked too simplistic, yet the pages are still hopelessly cluttered. In fact I had a totally different idea for this insert from august 2019 but then COULDN’T FIND IT nor any sort of script describing it when I finally got around to dealing with it a year later, until a few days ago when I was looking for something else. And I couldn’t remember anything ABOUT it, either. In fact I eventually convinced myself I hadn’t made it at all in order to make myself give up looking for it. That it was too long to fit on one page is the SOLE detail that I recalled and that prevented me from totally believing it didn’t exist. I seem to have more anxiety about things not fitting on pages than what they actually are.
What this IS, whatever it is, it does not completely contradict what I did use, so it can be used as a foundation for a similar page later. probably for the best that I didn’t find it, for the book 4 spot, since this openly shows (or would once it was drawn better) kumquat becoming kaklabesk, and also some baser form which i have no recollection of designating as part of the process. since i fussed so much over the way i presented kumquat being kaklabesk in recent “book 6” pages, inserting an earlier page where i show it more blatantly would seem counterintuitive. Which would also be consistent since nothing I do is intuitive but there is still plenty on today’s pages that doesn’t work so don’t be concerned about that.

September 12, 2020
The spoon end was used to extract the “hard excrements” while the other was used for applying ointments, no doubt necessary after undergoing a procedure with this instrument.

9-13-2020 addender:
I only added the panera logo yesterday after having to drive a car somewhere and seeing repeated mentions of Panera and I considered that I feel more insulted by panera than mcdonalds; selling junk of a comparable quality and nutrition level but with a pretentious attitude of “this is REAL food for SMART people” and they don’t even have chicken nuggets so it definitely had to go in here, even if it is apparent as a late addition.


click for needlessly larger image

this is not meant to be: i hate all this stuff and we can’t be friends if you like any of it; i probably hate 75% of this stuff and generally I can only be friends with anyone as a remote exception. It is more about a system that inhuman but ostensibly run by humans constantly pushes forced hype and enthusiasm for brands as if this is organic rather than uncompensated labor for corporations that can afford to pay for it.
I don’t like paid promotion either but that is correctly identified as “advertising.”
admittedly I primarily get nfl rubbed in my business off the internet, but I have had a LOT of nfl rubbed in my business. Although I would not be recognized as a legless naked orange mutant off the internet.

Or put another way, the same thing i have been saying incessantly for 15 years presented in a sadder, more defeated manner. I look forward to feeling inspired to say something else!

Don’t make me put bandai or whoever’s logo in there. please. there isn’t space for it.

September 5, 2020
“This provides yet more evidence of the folly of maintaining two nearly identical versions of the same foot,” he wrote in an email.

I wish I could tell you what their collective problem is but if I ever knew, I do not now remember.

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: January 21, 2021
Purplespace sez:
I’m more amazed that you found SUPER sweet corn! That’s like way better than...
January 14, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
If you had offered gold dopes before the election you would have gotten a lot more celebs...
January 14, 2021
Donald Trump sez:
We love dopes, don’t we ladies and gentlemen? Especially the gold dopes. Ohh,...
January 4, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
we ought to focus more on curing dopes, or ourselves of dopes.
January 3, 2021
Ogden Nash sez:
Man is a victim of dope In the incurable form of hope.
January 2, 2021
Frimpinheap sez:
I looked through all the pictures in the folder I used for the pictures and identified about...
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