the largest component of my easter dinner — what IS this thing? Stop and Shop was still on strike and apparently this was the only size of ham remaining at the Big Y store. as in “Y is this legal?” It looks like something Asterix would eat. It looks like something Simon Belmont would find hidden inside a wall (on a plate). This might be the Roast Beast that they eat in Who-Ville. This looks like something Link would use to finish getting through Level 7. I cannot verify that every bone in this corresponds to an actual body part. This looks like what Daeneris eats to prove she is worthy to become khaleesi. This looks like the leader of Red Falcon. This looks like symbolism from Lord of the Flies that I did not pick up on while reading the book and was unable to summarize during my worst high school class. This looks like


I invite science to try and replace this with laboratory grown materials; Whatever this came from must have suffered both in life and in death. I had no idea how to cut it and none of the web pages purporting to demonstrate how to do so actually did so or even used an identifiably similar meat object if they showed anything.

Look at this it turns into Big League Chew when I put a fork in it. What IS this?
(it was pretty good)

apparently I have much more to say about this than I can manage at the moment so I will instead say as little as possible and hopefully prompt myself to finish later.
if necessary you can watch a few seconds of that for your own independent research.

I am not good at summing up my experiences. I want to include every detail and it is not possible, even though I take pictures constantly and write myself numerous notes as if I intended to summarize all things.

One thing that did come up amidst the alternative space weekend art business, which has come up previously and does not take long to express: this image, known as “Tidal Knave,” is the main picture that I seem to sell a 8.5×11 page print or 5×7 grating card of at every show, going back to 2010. Which I appreciate! But it confounds me that most people seem unaware of the assault the creature has taken.

How is the scene interesting without that part? Without that it is just a strange inaccurate humanoid animal in the wrong part of the country standing on a noticeably more realistic beach and looking at the ground! I cannot have people thinking I approve of this dork! Something bad MUST be happening to it.

Also, this is what you see if the most recent 17×22 inch print jumps off the wall, surely in search of doing more punishment.

hopefully not to be explained or drawn in more considered detail later! Considering how that went.
It is a stereotyped thought based on a number of things that happened and/or felt like they were happening within several months

it makes me mad that dumb nemitz got into this picture. don’t you know i am on, possibly over a deadline, you stupid horrid mitz? and you had to get stuck so you need help?! i do not have TIME to help you. Or maybe nemitz is just DISSATISFIED with the chocolate that mit has and is demanding the other imp hand over its doughnut fragment. I appreciate that the other imp is ignoring nemitz’s TOXIC behaviour. Sometimes that is the only way they learn.

Why does the father of sword and sorcery look like the father of tommy guns and bootlegging?

The answer being the hat.

Well that just seems rude!

Also: I initially included the full view of this object and talked about it more and it wasn’t funny. This also isn’t funny but it is a better value.

I had much amusement from this box back in 2006

I must say they were a lot more entertaining before Grimvald quit the group.

Truth: I personally consider it too time consuming to slice things up to put on crackers. Slicing stuff for crackers is like the making your bed of the snacking world. I microwave-heat soup in a regular bowl instead of putting a pot on the stove because I don’t have time to clean pots, so I definitely don’t have time to get out a knife and a plate and another plate and deal with all that unless I am making a big sandwich, and I don’t even do that! I ate a lump of baked ham as a lunch today. And I don’t have time to write about that, either! I hope you didn’t have time to read it! All the joy drained from my life without that fourth cracker.

in other 2006 news, my web page about the Super NES game Whirlo remains comatose.

It’s-a me, Cornycopio!

The only thank-giving food I like better than acorns are preschool magnet letters.

I am thankful that they grow on the same tree.

Last week I said you would “see if I don’t” have some sort of ordering thing set up this week, and that is the only reason I am forcing out this incomplete update now, so that I see it before you do.

A specific thing that occurred during the armory show was one person was interested in buying something but declined to do so on that occasion, asking me “your website has a store, right?” What I should have said was “no,” or possibly “no, but give me your email address and we can sort this out.” Instead of that, I said something that I do not recall but it was not “no” and I believed I could make something superficially resembling a store in a short period. I really could not, and partway through realized I would have great difficulty meeting orders on a set and consistent schedule and consequently would prefer to not have people automatically charged by an automated system, which they seem to all consistently do. Meanwhile if that person came to this website they would have just seen mopey rubbish. Further, of all the potential options with the same capabilities I could have gone with for the “store” I have not finished, I chose the one which does THIS at checkout:

Apart from the British train tickets that I was alluding to but apparently failed to mention deep amidst the last time I went off on this sort of business behavior, literally i cannot remember ever buying ANYTHING off the internet that prompted me for MR or MRS. Why does this have to strike NOW on MY website, and reveal itself so late? In fact selecting one is optional, but it being there at all implies first that it is not optional, and also that I am demanding it. I look like a total hippogriff. Really, truly, as if I would go out of my way to force this on people, BEFORE I inverted the color scheme and inserted some garish graphics and inappropriate text? On merchandise that costs less than a pizza?
Barnaborf Squank, I present to you now, Crapt’n Ecoli’s Underpee Adventures*.
Hey, that’s MISTER Barnaborf to you.
*I am not actually selling prints of that.
Also, non-married women may apparently not purchase prints.

Oh EYE see how it is.