I assume this similarity is deliberate but i do not know why it would be. i never watched double dare and thought “i really want to put that into my mouth.”
this similarity i assume is not deliberate
thank pog somebody scanned this book and put it on the internet; i was suffering mentally more than usual after spending an hour getting to this spot in the game from my nearest save-state and seeing the text say
“young owlbear” when i was CERTAIN it had always said “owlbear young” and that was the main reason the coconut was funny to me. I must have spent a lot of time doting on the generously oversized and overinformative instruction heap. it probably gave away TOO much of the game but sega genesis users in my home were more than capable of being terrible at it anyway and needing to develop sort of cheaty strategies to get through it.
if i couldn’t verify this i might have had to tell the story of how my younger brother (yes the alex jonesy one) while driving an automobile wanted to play audio off of a neil young cd he had just purchased but only at that point realized he had somehow bought a neil diamond cd instead and rather than returning it to the store for a refund or exchange he simply threw it out the window.
I also was particularly afraid of owlbears a long time ago.
Not CAVEbears, which use 80% of the same graphic tiles, have more hit points and do more damage and don’t have comma young versions that are easier to beat, but ALSO don’t have huge insect eyes and owl beaks of no practical value above standard bear facial features.
the authority can’t be THAT good if “unusual” is the best adjective it could muster. An unusual bear would be green or wear a silly hat! it would NOT have a beak!
and it is funny to consider that they are only 40 pixels tall since the first person view ends up filling most of the screen with a text descriptions of stuff the game isn’t prepared to show. Monsters also float around in space instead of standing on the ground, which has the unsettling effect of making them MORE scary. They are like foam dinosaurs in a bathtub. Which yes indeed at one point of my life i was legitimately terrified of inadvertently touching. I like that as scary as the tiny bouncing owlbears young were they could not touch me. That was an adequately immersive experience. Although this now reminds me that i had to stop playing Puggsley’s Scavenger Hunt because it creeped me out so much to see the float-bobbing rubber ducks hit a wall and abruptly reverse and start float bobbing in the opposite direction without being animated to turn around even though video game monsters have been doing that for most of their lives. Similarly with the leaves in the tree level of Prehistorik Man, even though they work much the same way as the raccoon leafs in super mario bros 3, i guess because they are larger and keep getting tossed back up instead of falling off the screen. borf i should not write this sort of thing at 3am now i won’t be able to sleep, thinking about those creepy self-mirroring leaves and ducks that apparently remembering being afraid of foam dinosaurs that bouncing owlbears remind me of remind me of.
i saw this while shopping. i don’t know if it is the WORST marketing character i have ever seen but it is the worst one i can remember right at this moment. definitely, probably, the worst one that used to be bearable.
At least Queen Brahne in Final Fantasy 9 has a weird sort of elegance to go with the disproportionate eyes and mouth and the player is meant to be unsettled by this appearance and not in favor of what this character endorses.
even the soulless marketing website wanking out over this megabland packaging redesign struggles to be positive about the shodawful ai meme hellscape mascot change
admittedly i have never bought bit-o-honey but i was never bothered by its presence until now. i remember years and years ago honey nut cheeriors cereal having a bit-o-honey sample bar hidden inside the box somewhere because i don’t know why, and me and my older brother both desperately trying to claim it just because children are easily impressed and made greedy for flashy nonsense even though i didn’t even like honey nut cheerios themselves. The presentation of the box’s “prize” made me see it as desirable. If it looked like THIS i wouldn’t want to go near it. and maybe in that moment that would have been preferable since i don’t believe i actually got to have the thing.
part of the shill page’s point is that the rebranded product seeks a more “mature” audience but as an adult sized person i STILL don’t want to go near it and only did so in order to capture evidence of it. this appeal is “mature” in the sense that a child wouldn’t pretend something horrible was good simply out of spite for another party that they dislike for a stupid reason.
The product has changed ownership a few times and right now it is owned by the spangler candy company which also makes “necco wafers” and artificial-banana-flavored “circus peanuts” and they just want the world to be worse i suppose.
in fact i apparently mentioned bit o honey and necco wafers in the same statement when declaring which bad candy my niece did NOT get on halloween a few years ago, not even aware that they were by then on the same side and uglier than ever.
even the computer generated “whammies” from the 2002 todd newton version of Press Your Luck weren’t as corporately ugly as this because whammies were ugly to begin with.
though arguably the sterile set design is inferior to new bit-o-honey at least retaining bright red in its background. I can SEE the horribee in front of it whereas the bland whammy, bland set and bland todd tend to bland blend into each other.
i am impressed that disney-owned abc found something i would less like to meet than the deedles. and this also foreshadows old bit-o-honey being reintroduced in 2040 and hopefully I will have better things to do by then than write a web page about it.
shining farce: the lunacy of reprobate intervention
i mostly made and personalized this in 2015 for someone that i don’t think cared so i de-personalized it except for the parts that would seem functionally surreal if not removed
but then over thinking it was too sparse i crammed it full of details that are somehow both vague AND distracting. and that is what i have this week.
now that i have put it somewhere where it counts as essentially finalized, i cannot make sense of how the laser eye could shoot out the ground beneath someone without also shooting whoever fell following that happening with a blast of the same power level that was strong enough to destroy something strong enough to have supported whoever fell.
doip having a problem.
i do not like to “kill” things but this may be even more gruesome a fate. eh it probably is not permanent.
a yet more gruesome fate would be me trying to draw that happening from 8 angles and i am not going to
yes that is all! After spending months on and off and off and off and off trying to alleviate this computer’s overheat issues i finally resigned me to buying a replacement which also turns out to be a multi-week process. Some ebay merchants don’t like to answer questions, but they don’t like to accept returns or present all pertinent information or use a consistent format for that information across their offerings, and the older i get, the more i have felt burned by bad purchases and the more annoying and particular my questions seem to get over cheaper and cheaper items.
but when i can’t make a routine grocery trip for less than $120 i do feel uninclined to drop that or double that or triple that on a computer unless i know the computer is going to do the job I want it to. or at least believe i can make the safest assumption possible that it might.
We had no idea how good we had it when cheap chicken was still around
now cheap chicken is branching out and has left us behind
Very poorly designed level. you should always have some foreground visuals rise high enough so the player cannot see or at least not notice the skybox texture going infinite as it meets the horizon
ah perfection
this screenshot is from 2011. i believe that area is broken right now and thus looks even worse than this
frustrating ai “art” posters at the destination, capone’s pizza bar in branford connecticut. Also SPORTS but i have had a few decades to become accustomed to being frustrated and disappointed by that.
I wonder why these people need two clocks if neither has the right amount of numbers but perhaps their unorthodox facial features complicate how they tell time. the structure in the distance is also questionable. The peculiar hanging scenery would be acceptible if an actual person had drawn this.
view of TERRIBLE high heeled shoes. they look more like pig hooves. i know some people who might be into that but i am not one of them and again this was not intentional
generic boring people in a bar but in what century i can’t tell. the woman looks like 1920s but the man on the right side looks like 1820s. maybe he was evicted from the old west after refusing a request to “draw, pardner,” since it is faster and easier to have the robot do that.
this poster’s artificiality is less obvious than the othe’s but the scattered vertical line shelf contents and leprosy fingers give it away. and once more an excessive number of inconsistent hanging lamps, one of which is inexplicably casting a shadow, for the size of the space
i suppose it is appropriate for a restaurant named after a racketeer. ALthough that is a rather creepy slogan. is the implication that smilin’ Al here was targeted and smeared because of how GOOD he was? The bullet mark clip art commemorates the Valentine’s Day massacre, after all. The insistence on the box that their ingredients are fresh is just casual information, not because organized crime regularly pays out bribes so that its regulation-cheating front businesses can pass inspections. Only the finest cigar ash on THESE pizzas.
And it isn’t the only restaurant i have seen with his name; there was another when i walked through boston for a really silly reason in 2016
Al Capone wants ME to pay tax?
What makes him special anyway? Why aren’t there any Ted Bundy or Ted Kaczynski restaurants? Jeffrey Dahmer is even known for his uncommon taste in food. although unfortunately jeffrey is a less respectable name these days than ted.
i of course refer to convicted child pornographer and Who’s Your Caddy star Jeffrey Jones not being asked to appear in the “Beetlejuice” sequel
what a miscarriage of justice. every citizen has the right to avoid exposure to Who’s Your Caddy.
I am surprised this didn’t come up when Clinton was recently subpoeneaed to testify about his partnerships with another Jeffrey. This alone should be all the proof you need that his judgement is not to be trusted, and there was already adequate proof before that.
and then over night i made a totally different comic strip but that is also about this misery and i am not sure if i should force it here due to its topical nature and the likelihood that someone better at being seen and understood will put out there own comic strip that i will then look like i have copied badly, or delay it since it is miserable. or maybe it doesn’t matter since this site is free and nobody [should] check it more than once a week, if that often and I lost electricity during the last two storm events in december and probably will again anyway.
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i have another comic strip post ALMOST ready, but
or ice could just not casually wreck, kidnap and murder so that the natural inclination of an observer would not be to mock them but that would require disobeying their orders/fundamental motivation for joining ice. much better to simply try and avoid a word with a dictionary meaning and no exact synonym amidst conditions that explicitly call for it. we aren’t interested in saving lives, after all. No literally we aren’t
if you arrest 3000 people and only 23 of them are criminals you are doing a beyond terrible job! You don’t get to BRAG about BOTH of those things! Even if you DIDN’T kill innocents and destroy their property amidst the 2977 invalid arrests!
Of course this assumes “criminal record” means “criminal,” and it doesn’t. Of those 23 with “criminal records,” how many of the “crimes” were violent and how many had the “criminals” already served time in prison for? and how many of the arresters were themselves violent criminals? yes before AND after the arrest events. And how many of them voted for a criminal who has been cheating and molesting for half a century who boasted that he COULD murder someone if he wanted to and avoid consequences, with the explicit aim of keeping him out of prison?
fiddledeediddledoodeedle i don’t know how to NOT be angry. this only gets one-dimensionaler. even if you hold the opinion that it can’t possibly be as bad people say it is, and as bad as repeated VIDEO EVIDENCE demonstrates it to be, even 25% of this is beyond what any past criminal president, at least within my lifetime, has gotten away with. send hunter biden to guantanamo bay, lock bill clinton in the pranger at colonial williamsburg if you must, but don’t pretend this puzzlewit is doing a good job or that the warnings that he had no intention of doing a remotely bearable job weren’t there.
I remember in 2016 someone with whom i at the time communicated regularly was worried, based on social media paranoia, that the incoming administration would be deporting their legal immigrant relatives and i insisted that the US Government does not have the legal authority to do that. And it doesn’t and still doesn’t but does it anyway! Obama’s ice did it a few times by ACCIDENT but trump’s does it as a matter of policy. In fact just about everything it does seems designed to hurt perceived enemies and scare them out of complaining. That is not “governing.”
And this was someone who is (or was) in Florida, alligator alcatraz land, the state shaped like a handgun wearing cowboy pants. it probably wouldn’t help anything to contact that person now and say hey remember nine years ago when i said you didn’t need to be afraid about your relatives getting kidnapped? Oops i was wrong, hope you’re panicking! In fact that might shoot YOU just for being nearby!
worthless lizard! panicking helps nobody! yes i am back in control.
We aren’t north korea yet but the person I mentioned in some previous posts under varying levels of vagueness, who endlessly accosted airport security agents for creating a north korea-like environment and insisted that i film that so he could make “a video” about it ten years ago, went on to vote for THIS and now pretends it isn’t happening. In fact he ended his longstanding refusal to go back to an airport two weeks ago, and no chance THAT is BETTER now. was it for a funeral? No just a soft-ball tournament. in fact he seems to be doing better than ever and i have to hear my mother watching his dopey videos about his dogs or whatever and then showing them to my niece. at some point it starts to feel like letting someone listen to michael jackson songs without bringing up the fact that he was PROBABLY a child molester, even if his entire life up to that point was too cut off from reality for him to recognize how bad that was. Even though realistically just voting for someone who broke all precedent of decorum whom you couldn’t EXPECT to do that just BECAUSE of precedent is not itself a breach of decorum, even in an environment where he already shredded precedent to pack the supreme court with like-minded thugs who shredded more precedent in a very negative direction. Arrrgh maybe it IS! I don’t know what to do, i don’t have a precedent for handling problems like this, and even if i did it would probably just break.
no smell is good enough to justify gaining delgo attributes on one’s face or anywhere else
apparently this large chested rubbery man wearing dish washing gloves who is admiring the job he did cleaning an implausibly shiny serving pan is both beauty AND the beast
my niece was binge watching this sort of thing over her christmas break. the overwhelmingly most watched item has been, obviously, Mulan 2.
I don’t know why but fortunately i can tolerate its widely known badness better than plenty of more highly regarded, equally annoying products’ supposed greatness. I like that i can look up mulan 2 and see people complaining about it and not feel like i need to issue a verbose rebuttal that nobody will care about except people who don’t want to see it since they were looking for my cartoon drawings rather than criticism of cartoon drawings that they like better than mine.
I don’t understand this. I thought much of the point of the 2017 movie was, foremost, as with the other disney remakes, to cement the cartoon version as The Original being adapted rather than itself an adaptation, but also to rebrand the character Gaston as more inarguably bad and less fun. He’s always sullen, he shoots the beast from a distance with a hand gun instead of demanding what he considers a fair fight with more old fashioned weaponry, and he doesn’t even juggle eggs, right? bad guys can’t be fun, our willingly captive audience had been groomed by us to be too dumb to understand that we aren’t encouraging bad behavior so we need to update our products for The Times. But also still sell and merchandise the unupdated version for folks who obsess over The Good Old Days and will rebuy the same movies for whatever you charge just like they rebuy the same nintendo games from nintendo or ebay at obscene inflated collector price, whichever is more, then brag about it. Just don’t talk about Song of the South.
but i suppose that was eight, nine years ago by now. long enough to shift principles and remake, resell and remind some more. especially since “original” Gaston is pretty much MAGA ideal, at least until the woman he flaunts his macho perfection at rejects him, (probably becuase he is french rather than a proper american), and disney is feeling the hurt from the largest share of its long captive audience breaking free and turning on it via orders from a more powerful cult. Maybe this was never “canceled” and they just use that word to get creeps interested. The LEFT WING media tried to CANCEL Gaston just like it did to James Woods and Gina Carano! But DISNEY brought him back! Just like we brought Jimmy Kimmel back! Who we only removed because we thought you wanted us to! We’re good now, right? Please don’t boycott us!
I will give A tip but i am not giving you $10+ beyond what I expected to pay just for handing over two meatless pizzas which already have zanily inflated prices presumably to compensate for people who give bad tips when receiving table service when dining in the restaurant which I have not done.
well i won’t give 10$+ extra UNLESS you are looking directly at me when i have to deal with this thing and that doesn’t feel quite fair, especially if i have just had to stand here dodging dine-in customers and servers in your tiny waiting spot while the sound system blears terrible christmas songs. And i STILL won’t LIKE it!
my own recent ice sighting. thankfully this is not capable of murdering me for driving a car except at very close range.
this toilet has been outside not far from my home since late october and it is a source of continuing fascination for me, especially when it moves to other locations on the same property but remains outside. It is either self conscious about me photographing it or trying to provide me with fresh inspiration.
2025 in pictures
january
february
march
april
may
june
july
august
october
november
december
alas, that is what happened [last] year.
and of corpse i did not finish the year end video before the year ended. did you think i would? i did! i don’t know why.
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i made a sketch in 2012 and then periodically looked at it in later years and tried to remember what my plan for it initially had been but never did.
so this year i tried to sort it out on a few occasions and only got this far. i have its various stages of production already in my year-end video but generally i do not put works-in-progress in there. and also i should prioritize finishing the video over finishing up this one picture that only occupies one second within it and is not clearly discernible as unfinished but i also do this for free and nobody asks me to so i can leave it in there if i want to even IF i complete it later and want to put that in a later video, OKAY? no it does not MATTER if you approve my decision as being oll korrect!
i should probably update this again before the year ends
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alas I fear that this will be Latke’s final Hanukkah as well
something to do with elon musk. it was deleted, as is the ideal and natural way of things.
lamentably the source was located, but that is not important.
this is important
i can think of NOTHING more ENTICING than a SACK full of MEAT. I would betray an oath of loyalty and my past livelihood and risk execution should I be recaptured for that, but not otherwise, sure. I think a lot of people would. If glorious leader Trump is so worried about foreigners he should forego the illegal thug deportation ice gangs and just drop sacks of meat into whatever countries he is worried about. Gosh maybe the rest of us will even leave to go after it and he can have america to himself. The president can afford better food than that.
yes very much so. this is just the level of artistic quality and inspiration that i expect from someone who doesn’t know how to spell crayon.
meatwhile this guy is really han de to have around
of course not, obviously i was vaccinated
one thing that is funny to me about the japanese video game production and publishing company Koei’s longstanding obsession with Romance of the Three Kingdoms is that they refer to the famed hero Cao Cao as “Sousou.” With no space in the middle, presumably pronounced like Susu. Even in games that have been translated into English and the name outwardly presented as “Cao Cao” you might be able to find “sousou” labeled on the game’s internal data files. Even when we call him Tsao –or Sow or Cow; silly farmbred livestock, sure, but still bulky and formidable– he remains Susu on the insisiside. This guy is supposed to be the most treacherous and fearsome warlord of his era, if not all history, and he has the same name my sister got called as a baby. I like especially when it is combined with another word; a spinoff game called Legend of Cao Cao is just “Sousouden.”
however, i take freddy readiness very seriously
This song is NOT on that playlist and I will not be suggesting its inclusion even now that i know who it is about.
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ALLLLLLSO i just moments ago realized that last night i accidentally “published” an unfinished post about moraff when i thought i was editing the previous week’s post about moraff to say that i wasn’t ready with a post for this week yet and also had not yet decided what that i was working on i would try and force into being a post for this week, which turned out to not be the one about moraff. if you saw it and wondered why it seemed unfinished, that is because it was! and if you saw it and didn’t notice it was unfinished, then this website is terrible!
they tried to make the sandwich seem more dangerous by referring to the range as “point blank.” you can’t THROW a sandwich from a range beyond that and have it still be a sandwich after half a second. A long distance sandwich projectile would require a high powered launching device that would probably hurt more than a blank point throw. This reminds me of the time some guy tried to get richard simmons arrested for slapping him, and indeed in that case the charge presser was also an oaf with a height and weight advantage who failed to inflict the intimidation he thought he was entitled to and so whined about it to a higher authority. like when me and my older brother were children and we would try to get our younger brother in trouble for stuff less bad than what we did, except we were children acting like children.
what are the charges for, then? To put in his place the way-too-gay guy who managed to succeed despite people like you? I remember this because the “victim” Chris Farney despite being unnamed in initial reports got to be a guest on the Jimmy Kimmel Live television program over this a few days after suffering the assault.
You might not be old enough to remember or trash-entertainment-aware enough to care but a long time ago Kimmel (and his owner, Disney) despite being pretty much the same as now actually passed for fairly conservative and regressive and had this guy on just to laugh with him about how absurd Richard Simmons is. The fellow also casually said “fuckin” during the interview and it was only after that point that the show ceased to actually be live and instituted a tape delay. funny to listen to this now and hear that attempts WERE made to censor the farnster in real time but then they missed the big moment.
I might also mention that in those days several minutes of every show would be just laughing at how stupid the Mexican crew member Guillermo Rodriguez’s voice was but i think they might STILL do that, but that then also makes Guillermo one nationally visible, non-native born american citizen who won’t get deported by sandwich-averse icicles and if an attempt is made to do that it will be harder to sweep under the radar.
Of course Richard Simmons ALSO made news for surreptitiously placing his tongue inside a hamburger that Roseanne Barrrrr was eating while filming her own talk show which is PROBABLY more legitimately offensive, though according to Simmons Roseanne actually shoved the hamburger in his mouth first, so then he shoved the burger into Roseanne’s mouth and exited the set which isn’t actually what happened; both of them bit the hamburger willingly and pretend-groped each other and then had 18 more minutes of interview after that. People like that just have absurd exaggerated personae, almost like real life cartoon characters, that should not be taken too seriously. UNLESS they try to run for public office, because if they think they’re qualified, and voters also think such persons are qualified, then they are surely out of their minds and not safe to have also out of prison.
I do believe Trump has met some of these victims already and that is part of the problem
why is this news? south park has been why-is-this-newsing a lot lately but this instance seems pretty typical and quarter-century-ago by south park standards. if the plan is to make trump try to prove he is heterosexual by pointing out all the minors with x chromosomes that Eppy J linked him up with, he might well be stupid enough to do that but remember that this is the guy known for buying teen beauty pageants just so he could perv around backstage and who said he can “grab em by the pussy” to Billy Bush and Billy Bush got fired, while Trump got a substantially superiod job. The people who vote for him are absolutely not concerned that he himself is a sexual predator, only that he covers up for other ones, and then only ever for about a week at a time before picking on people like Guilermo and Richard and [women apart from] Roseanne became priority #1 again. Trump shills are already desperately trying to reclassify sexual relations between old white guys and minors as not necessarily actionable pedophilia based on [reason] after years of insisting biden was a pedophile just for smelling his granddaughter’s hair or something.
not all the expected parties are dismissing it, but I think they will once the time comes to do that. And by thinking this I can be pleasantly surprised when they don’t rather than SHOCKED when they do.
gorply borpity it’s The Democrats’ and B-b-b-BIDEN’s fault you put the wrong picture of Trump’s rubber stamp signature on a website? This is like Gargamel blaming the smurfs when he got caught stealing a Snickers bar from a gas station. for one thing we have very scant evidence that democrats actually exist. It is rumored that they have magic powers and come from france.
I wanted the fish to be able to attack from a distance if necessary, and without needing to stop, like doom engine monsters generally do, but i may have made too big a project of it. the fish’s animation needs to be substantially more smooth and consistent than it was so that if the lizard turns while shooting, which is already difficult to make it do, its upper body does not visually detach from its legs. While trying to facilitate this i discovered that in the
while close up i imagine the fish might start jumping like the werewolves from castlevania 2, who do not gain power or extra animation frames from jumping, only become more disturbing. i do not have the power to program something people have never seen before in the past, but i can make things nobody else would want to do in the future.
Worst Selling Video Games edition nine
I had been thinking it was too soon to make another one of these but upon review it looks like i didn’t post one in nearly two years so this is probably a roughly adequate time to do it.
maganitsu
race dividin’
covfefe ii: the mental aging
jdvance wars
noem: total blowhard
twinkeir starmer sprites
twinbee netanyahoo
aid convoy no gaza
the settlers: bandit rage of thugs
dogerunner
musk: an evil shifty failure
go! go! tank the economy
red dead recession
ire ‘n ice
quorums: ahm-a-gettin’ (out-of-texas)
secret of jeffrey’s island
leisure suit jeffrey
wolfepstein 3d
prince andrew of perversia: the sweat glands of slimeball
five nights at jeffrey’s
oregon chemtrail
kim jong-unjammer lammy
p diddy kong raping
who slapped chrissy rock? (this still in the queue should have been all the proof i needed that i had not made a 2024 post)
plastered bastard
ori hatch and the will of utah voters
mitch mcconnell madness
margaret snatcher
banal blandtasy xiii: lightning returns a library book
mario is pissing
rush’n dressing
pacman arkham asylum
heroes of might and maybe not
junkie kong
knuckles neurotix
dracula x: randy of quaid
sunset spiders
clay biter
lunch at demonbread
There in the World is Carmen Sandiego
Duck Shunned
Effort Zero
Zoey Duncan Joe and Mac
gunstar hearing loss
conker’s bad check
rival terf
i fear it has a bit of a theme at points. in fact i removed some that i thought were funny in favor of attempting to ensure that theme was contained here and prevented from drifting into part 10 instead. No I am sure i will dumb things will stop happening in and I will thus have no interest in making annoying “topical” references to them ever again