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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
July 3, 2017
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood


An unnatural consequence of sharing a residence with compulsive television watchers of disparate ages. Apart from that it is perhaps not worth thinking about at length, nor explaining in brief!

Gosh I am not good at drawing this badly on purpose. The peppa pig program is extremely badly drawn, but in a very specific way. I spent two days! somehow getting it just right. So then I HAD to shade the background like that just to not feel dead inside, even though that ruined the desired effect of drawing poorly so specifically, to make it look JUST right. Because it sure doesn’t, now! This doesn’t help me toward my goal at all, doing stuff like this, and spending that long on it. But once these ideas get in my mind I have to do them as soon as possible; elsewise they eat away at me like everything else. there are boneheads out there who do NOTHING BUT asinine cross-over fanart. Really I should leave this to them. When I do it I just look like a goon, and I haven’t cultivated a goon’s audience. Still I think this is funny.

My father might have appreciated this. He was there for all of that. Fictional British fathers that bad things happen to remind me of him, apart from that, especially if they wear glasses. I had meant to draw it back in January but ehh well hm.



June 26, 2017
Crisis mode: What developers should do when they discover an error


I had placed this illfrustration at the end of the “video” I posted last week without realizing I had not prior to then exhibited it on this website, even though it seems to originate in August 2015.
Initially inspired by editing wordpress themes (what this website runs on), but it could as well apply to trying to use hulu, trying to use linux, trying to install windows over linux, trying to use a Hewlett Packard printer, trying to use toon-boom software, or any number of things that don’t work while priding themselves on how well they work.
This may have been the first middle finger on the deviant art website not being directed at the viewer.


This goes back to 2006. What have I done with my life? And how is it that many of the artists I have observed these from over the years have done more with theirs?


Additionally, this image and

this image appeared, for a deliberately short period of time, because they are pretty bad if you have time to analyze their details, but I did not have any other “character” for which drawings existed both of wearing earphones and of pressing down on a ridiculous cartoon detonator.



May 31, 2017
This serves to warn the player that if Arthur does not find a way to get his armor back, the next hit from an opponent will be fatal. This usually turns him into a skeleton, and the game ends.

Concurrent with the 512×512 pixel matter, I offered drawings at smaller sizes, with 100×100 resolution being the most common request. I did not realize what a big deal it was to be able to draw like this until I realized how many people could not. Eventually they started paying me to do it. Not enough that I could feel like I had done something with my life, but at present I can buy more pizzas than I can eat, which feels important.


Icons that I initially used for myself. None is especially excusable.

Fastest gun in the wasp, November 2013
A character called Miso for a person called Miso but who presumably does not look like this, stuffed into a tiny 100×100 pixel box but not at all deterred. This was before I gave people many/any options so theoretically I could come up with a better pose than this.


You shall meet with my raccs, 2014 or sooner
Relaxingdragon wanted these at some point. Rare examples of the 200×200 size, which is still small enough that I do not totally lose my mind with it, although I did not develop the habit of losing my mind on pixel-level work until 2016, so that may be a presumptuous statement.


Icon see you’re upset June 9, 2016
pengosolvent recently inquired about a new representative 50×50 pixel symbol but something alarming has occurred. These are smaller, only 50×50 pixels, because the deviant-art website restricts user representations to that size. And I drew four because I usually give people 2-4 different layouts to choose from, but need to color them in, to some degree, for them to be legible, and on this occasion colored in all four fully without being asked to.


The pickax papers, December 17, 2015
A newer Miso, also for Miso. I had been asked to make an icon similar to the old one, and took that as permission to be equally boring with the poses. And again I could not restrain myself from finishing all example versions! The upper left is the one we went with, and therefore it is slightly more “finished” than the others. Appropriately enough it is considerably more proud of itself. The creature this is derived from is called a tawny mining bee, and I took THAT as permission to add mining implements, including an all important flannel shirt, even though those are more stereo-type associated with logging, because it seemed unlikely somebody would send a logging bee my way any time in the near future.


Clippity-clopsicle October 20, 2016
For kinn-katze, a horse creature named Ryno ponders something likely unrelated to being named after a different species, since that is the type of thing you generally have to sort out early in life.


who do lu think lu are? November 17, 2016
100×100 and 50×50 pixel icon robisions of a flagrantly asymmetrical creature called Lulu known to Fairyartery
I just realized I use that “finger touching mouth” gesture way too often. Although I always give people the opportunity to request a different gesture!


is that who i think tiz December 8, 2016
Ah yes, ’tis Tiz, from something called Bravely Second, for boooey.
After this I decided every icon I make should have something resembling a backdrop, even if the buyer personally uses a version that doesn’t, because some sites are very stupid about transparency. And some sites aren’t but stuff looks bad on them anyway, hint hint.


robb from the pix to give to the four, December 22, 2016
a hoofless yet horsely creature named Robbie, unrelated to Ryno’s horsely creature, in fact for boooey again. The hair changes its mind based on whatever eye it feels is more fashionable to show at any moment. Also, after examining the previous two items, it became conscious of the possibility for vision problems resulting from prolonged obscured vision of a single eye.


hotel kotel holiday inn, January 5, 2017
for Kotel First is a bat creature also called Kotel, with and without wings, and a more opussummy figure called Obeah whose enthusiasm has been taken out of context to pertain to the winged bat’s error, potentially a consequence of trying to escape from a 100×100 pixel space.


therefore four hares, January 19, 2017
100×100 pixel icons of a hare creature named Lewis for Arito, who was pleasant to work with; I wish I could say the same for this devious dirt-dweller.
After THIS point I realized that flat colors were inadequate for “something resembling a backdrop.”
A progress video of a sort, showing approximately how I colored this


goat tell it on the mountain, January 26, 2017
A goatly creature called Lutka, pixel-styled for trufours. Seems to be having a rough day.


let that synx in, January 26, 2017
another pixel drawing for :icontrufours: of Xiu, who is a synx, and apparently there are more synxes in the world than I thought! Initially there was somebody called Chimerasynx who came up with and drew these things and they have no spines and can twist in silly ways and have more teeth than is reasonable, and at some point they got franchised out, I suppose. This one looks friendly enough, fortunately.

I hope you are not getting sick of these; there is another bigger one coming!


well-financed flop, February 2, 2017
More pixelry for arito, this time of Shani, an apparently easily-worried saber cat. Plus a rinkity dinkity background I added quickly at the end for reasons already cited! Of course I don’t have a video showing this, the one part people have expressed to me sincere bafflement at how to produce.


do the rat thing, February 16, 2017
For kjorteo. There looks to have been some disconcerting events recently! And then this happened.


rats and beans, February 16, 2017
also for kjorteo, whose requests’ shape necessitated separating it from the other one! This looks to be alarming news for the protagonist. Although clearly it had been seen from quite a way off!


tanuki tea look-see, April 20, 2017
For perikaryon, showing a raccoon-dog investigating a hot drink. It is probably coffee but there is a chance it is tea. Possibly there is a better tool to use in determining the drink’s nature.

Amitz all this people started asking me for animated icons, which take 4-8 times as long to make, but I can charge 3 times as much for them without potential buyers recoiling in horror and abandoning the idea! That is real progress. Still less time than it takes to put one of these website entries together, but nonetheless I am done with this one for now, and hopefully for some time afterward, and so I shall exhibit those here on another occasion.



May 8, 2017
At a village-wide party where the Ewoks and Rebels celebrated their victory in the battle, Wicket danced and fraternized with R2-D2.[1]


A reminder to all you retcon-resenting star warfare enthusiasts out there


that George Lucas never got around to removing Sebastian Shaw from the 1997 comic book Star Wars: The Last Command issue 1


in which Princess Leia gives birth and looks like this.

Although on that note if I were force-sensitive I would be wary about doing anything near a window, knowing that a giant creepy judgmental ghost Yoda could be watching me at any time and that I would never be able to stop it or prove to anybody else that it happened. Hey, Yoda, Ben is a family friend but none of the people in there even KNOW you.


In fact I have been generally concerned about Yoda’s mental state recently.

All good? Great, I trust you.

Also, this is besides the point, but all it takes is another kid at school armed with a “va” to ruin Jaina’s life for several years. And Mr. Solo, do you NEED to wear your cowboy vest at ALL TIMES? Come on, I mean it’s the year 9-ABY already, get a new look.

Beside the point but I take issue with this comic book for exaggerating Mark Hamill’s acting skills


although I praise the depiction of his elegant fingers.



April 25, 2017
From what I observe, he’ll eventually die at the hands of a common man.


An attempt to quickly make a scene out of four unrelated creature sketches that happened to be near each other in my drawing book. In the past I have only used two. Perhaps I will try three sometime. I have hundreds of these tiny little idiots.
And it did not work very well, which is why i waited over a month to put it here. Usually I only make “artwork only” posts when I have been too busy to finish anything else for this site by my imaginary weekly deadline (which I have missed by several hours the past three occasions). This looks like one of those corny publicity shots Nintendo put out when hyping the early development on the N64, where there would be a cardboard-cutout looking picture of Mario or Rare ltd retconned computer generated Donkey Kong in a corny but fancily-lit 3d environment. But I only drew it in a hurry on that day to meet an imaginary deadline on another website. A surprising amount of my obligations are imaginary! But this week they are real (albeit not to anybody paying me money), so here is one more rushed site post. Perhaps that is just the way it will be from now on! Perhaps I have finally reached the point where life is just plain too complicated to do anything personally meaningful except at the expense of having any place in the world. I had my time, and did not spend it efficiently. In fact I took more than I was entitled to, and I did not win.

Perhaps I draw losers like this because they remind me I could do so much worse!



March 13, 2017
The Captain Boots make it possible for him to take a 100-meter fall with no injuries to himself, or any damage to his boots.


A landscape sketch from five years ago that I tried to do up properly more recently, but now see as without focus and not reasonable to dwell on further! Perhaps I will think of a purpose for it and consequently a path to finishing it later. Preferably one with fewer stairs than usual.



March 6, 2017
up next, our exclusive tour inside a real housewive’s closet

This is a major matter I have been occupied with the past half year. Major in the sense that it eats much time, not that it is important.



These depict a creature named techno made up by a person most recently called beepysopod.
Although I have offered to make drawings for money for years for, this is the first one I have received consistent interest in from other people. And that is because while there are many, many amateur artists on the internet who are more technically skilled and/or more visible than I am, or just plain not as angry as I am about the wrong things, most of said persons are terrible at pixel-level artwork. A few people are better, but not enough of them are to totally crowd me out like usual. Or being better leads them to other opportunities so that they are no longer available for small time work.

The prevailing mentality is that it is just a regular drawing done at low resolution, or with a 1-pixel wide outline. And again most buyers cannot tell. And most people in general do not care about pixel art in 20167 that is not in service of homaging popular commercial properties. (the awareness of which contributing to my anger and the public ignoring of which contributing to my non-visibility)

A FEW people do interpret this as useful and unique, however, such as the owner of the rightside figure, Fallenfolf, and here we are. I of course have known I am “good” at this for many years; there was a time when there was no way to draw on a computer EXCEPT zoomed in, using a mouse. But back when there was real NEED for this skill, in 1996, I did not know anybody. And I still don’t know anybody, so here we are again. Although now I have the scrap of legitimacy that makes people willing to pay me scraps of money to make them, although generally the people who buy from me do not know anybody either, which keeps me available for scrappy art work and the game from breaking. Can you imagine if I did something meaningful with my life? It would be a disaster. My entire personality draws from my life being a joke. Anything I do right is inspired by doing things wrong. If it were possible for me to predict what would go right, I would only do right things, and therefore do them even worse.

Anywhy, what changed was the introduction of the Telegraph messenger service. You might have heard of it, that is the one Islamic State militants use to coordinate their attacks since the story is that Telegram does not track its users. Which also means paranoid furries love it. One of telegram’s major features is “stickers,” 512×512 pixel images any user can shove at any other user. Many people will draw these in exchange for money. Usually poorly-drawn and scaled down heads making idiotic exclamations are preferred. The beeply isopod person happened to ask me for some, but without specifying that they be poorly drawn or disembodied heads, and I took it upon myself to draw them at the actual display size, since, you know, I COULD, and I offered that person five examples, all of which I was asked to complete. Ever the shrewd business-thing, I did all five for free, then three more for free even as I found myself increasing the detail level, uncertain at what point it was no longer experimental and that I could guarantee a consistent level of quality. After this point a single person asked to pay me for one, and I set the rate at $20, because that was about as much as I could imagine somebody paying me.


AND I promoted it with this specific image, because it was the best of the group, even though it was also the most difficult and time-consuming one of the group and under no circumstances would I feel adequately compensated to draw a prop more complex than the character I was requested to draw for less money than I could get a good pizza with in this miserable overpriced town.

Yes that ought to solve all my problems. But it did not because as I sold more, I kept increasing the complexity level, which people didn’t even know they were getting, and didn’t necessarily want, either, because it did not necessarily work!

At this point I only look greedy, which is fine because I need to scrap the “one price for whatever you want” system and put a cheap rate on the cheap drawing and a higher rate on a better-produced item. But I cannot easily do that because

I only allotted that much space for pixel junk on this garish chart, a chart which was already agony to cram as much junk into as there is. Because I thought people would ignore the garish chart if it was not orderly and its sections evenly distributed. Every picture is a distinct element, and text is on different layers, so that I could change the examples and what my name was based on what website I posted this on because I do in fact have dumber names than bimshwel that I do not want to have used interchangeably with it, since the other mes make even worse things. Then I had to remember to swap all those details around again when I adjusted the price on the one thing people bought. Which I eventually forgot to do, which is why this one says “grebij” on it.
And I only have the stupid chart at all to makes things easier! Because if I write out what I am charging in text form, with multiple examples for each category and descriptions of what each category involves, people don’t read it and just ask me directly, and then I cannot remember what I wrote and risk giving even wimpier prices.
If somebody refers directly to the chart, I know they have already seen and accepted my prices and at least are not going to try and pay me less than that.
Except for one person who did but if you are reading this then it wasn’t you!
I often do not realize what a sad state I am in until long after issuing a price estimate. Because I cannot well start working on something, then give a proper estimate, and risk having the other party say “ehhhh no dice.” Or worse, try to pay me in dice!


Observe that these are considerably more tightly-drawn than the first five, and more effort was taken to prevent and remove glaring edge artifacts. It SEEMS like I have done something properly while planning to, which should disprove my earlier theory. Since I made the first group without thinking, they came out rather simply and everybody was pleased. But these I obsessed over, without only minor practical improvement. Although I did not knowingly change my method; I merely paid more attention to it.



These ones, for a Scoots-Buragi, who saw the previous group and wanted a similar meltitude, were a bit loose again, but with all the stripes in there I thought it was justified. The ends still taper to 1×1 pixel points occasionally. Thankfully this did not, as some animated work last year did, endear me toward people who thought that I must surely have the same erotic fixation on masculine figures melting as they did, but I continued to have buyers anyway. So I seem to be coming out ahead, for once.


In fact they may have endeared me toward a dear, Kait Foxdear. That is dear in the precious sense, hence an A, even though the creature has deer components. The world is quite complex. This drawing is tightly rendered anew, and I kept the colors under control. Except for there being some bright green pixels stuck to the edges that I literally did not notice and remove until I went to write this website entry. wh-wh-whoopth.

For one HellBaby-From-Hell, this one came out almost TOO easily, so that I felt like I must have done something wrong, and so I got the details even tighter.


Which then totally spoiled me for these two, the first for Trufours and the second for Relaxingdragon (obviously, Relaxingdragon requested the raccoon person), whose subject matters were considerably more complex than the Hell-Baby’s. Finding a reasonable point at which to stop was impossible for me. Everything was drawn at 1 pixel and I put no limit on color density, although the latter party requested that I limit the hues, and consequently I thought it prudent to fill in the transparent sector with other grey tones. But then that destroyed its ability to be used as transparent imagery! Also, [depressing digression]. However, ultimately only two people really need to like any of them, right? Me and the recipient. But I also need other people to keep wanting them. Theoretically these are the best ones I did, but they are NOT because I beat the energy out of them.


This one, ostensibly a gift for somebody named Doomdweller from another called Syrenti, I was amidst while wondering why the last two were less good, and finished while realizing why they were less good, rather too late to do it differently!




This gives an idea of the tedious process. However, I made this video BEFORE I realized I had slipped into an undesirable way of doing things; I only thought to record it because I thought I was finally doing something properly! Alas, I can only be right by accident and I lack the resources to record my entire life. A pity, I would love to see a 3 minute video of me not messing up so I could determine what that looks like and try to be more like it.


I think everybody would like to see that.



February 27, 2017
He also has a clown tattoo on his biceps,[164] which he got at age 19 because he was voted “class clown” in high school, but says it did not turn out the way he wanted it to and that he plans to get it replaced with another clown that more closely matches what he originally requested.

(There is a brief looping SWF video here that you will not see if you are browsing on a telephone. I could make an animated gif out of it but if you saw it you might think I should not have bothered!)


Seeing my sister Salome more irrationally annoyed at the Hamilton guy than I am made my night. I had not intended to watch, and I certainly did not intend to mention Lindo McMirando again but there in the presence of the spectacle I was fascinated with it. I do not have the emotional investment in this sort of thing to complain about any other aspect of the program and nobody needs me to do that (I need me to do this).
She had to leave the room, HA HA HA HA I laughed like that for about 30 seconds. Like somebody from a comic strip or a video game.

One big slow HA after another. It looks fake to see written out but that is what happened.

It is not easy disliking so many, many things that are inescapably heralded. Having disliking company who are also not insane makes it more pleasant. I specify “not insane” because I have known some sorts whose discontent I related to up to a point, but then they let it run their lives. Although our current presidente empowers that sort of attitude, even though without existing money and influence you will never make the core contacts necessary to elevate yourself by acting like that, and will just bring pain to yourself and those around you. So then I start to think I must also be insane and that my own discontent is not valid. But it IS, sometimes, to a degree, and however unpleasant, I like it better than pretending to like stuff that I don’t. But I do not revel in it. I do not seek that which makes me miserable. It is highly adept at finding me, but this could be so much worse if I and it were both in on the scheme.

And so, this dorky little man alone on a stage rapping tough, it is hilarious how bothered we are. At least he shaved off that weird beard for the occasion. And he of the hyphenated first name was all over the broadbast despite only being nominuted for one award. The system wants him in it. I almost felt bad that he didn’t win the one award since I would have enjoyed the intensely negative reaction in here, and I worried I might have cursed him with my evil energy, like I did to Haley Joel Osment. Even though barring a Roberto Benigni-as-Pinocchio level overestimation of public adulation, he is probably going to be at every awfward show for the rest of my life. Unlike Bernigni he got scooped up by Disney, who will not tolerate challenges to their Real versions of folklore characters, and is only going to get harder to avoid. But this time, La Land La could not be overcome with regard to incessant mentions and camera time for participants, and its wretchtacular Best Picture win was what finally disgusted Sallius out of the room for good. Ha ha hee ho heh that is almost as funny, in retrospect.

Actually on that topic, recently the Disney company re-released Pinocchio and acted like that is a big deal for the 80th time, and the ad inexplicably has some ahhhhh oh oh oh song in it even though the actual film has its own songs which aren’t that. Any time there is song with a chorus saying “ahhhhhhh” or “na na na” or “oh oh oh” there is a good chance somebody will want it in a bad ad. Ads love songs with really breathy nonsense vocals

Also on that topic, but not on the topic I first alsoed on it:


I have seen news about this dork twice in my life and both times he had that same scumbag expression.
Our top story, some disembodied head guy that is probably horrid to talk to has made himself impossible to talk to
And a followup: apparently the company that owns everything was giving him money and only just realized he had that face. Gosh his middle name is “die.” Who assumed he wasn’t a corporate liability?


Who’s to blame when parties get out of hand? Who’s to blame when they get poorly planned?



February 20, 2017
I go and stay a while and all the folks I meet they say you won’t stay long you got them travelin’ feet



A totally contextless and silent piece of something I have been working on. Initially I instituted bizarre movements in the overall production to distract from my unwillingness and inability to animate mouths. But recently it came to pass that I started animating the mouths anyway, which seems like it will render the completed product more presentable to others, but without making it unsightly to me, because ultimately I want people apart from myself to like this stuff that I spend years on, right? Yes, I do, and mouths are golly geeby gupty important to them. I am not very GOOD at it, but the mouth-work on Garfield and Friends was even worse and that stayed on the air for eight years. This only needs to be tolerable for eighty seconds. However, I will miss the order and balance that an absence of mouth movements brings about, especially since the way I do it, I need to redraw the whole head for each frame, rather than reusing the same one, so I use that as justification for showing this right here now. Also, I have no time to write anymore! I tried and it was bad, and sad. I cannot write non-sad things while I am worried, and I am worried about all the non-writing I need to finish. I am also worried about not having a website post ready. I would need to write it while I was not in need of one, which I can only do when I am not worried about unfinished beet matters. I am actually not worried about beets, but rather the things that I have not started doing because I have not been sufficiently worried about beets to complete their projects. However, I would BECOME worried about beets if I imagined I no longer cared about finishing them.



February 13, 2017
When the teams are tasked with developing an app, Billy and Nick convince the team to indulge in a wild night out. Nick gets Yo-Yo to break out of his shell by drinking and receiving lap dances


you can click on it to make it bigger. Which is true on all my “art” posts but I always imagined it was more obvious until just this point in time.

Howdy. Here is a semi-improvised scene based on sketching the railing on a street overpass and turning it sideways. Although oddly enough by this point the railing, which became the line of lamps, has more or less reoriented itself.
I would like to add more idiots to the scene but that will need to happen later since I have other matters to tend at now. Priority one, I have not updated this web page in a week!



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: August 18, 2017
Charmlatan sez:
I only pay into Cyclope’s pledge for their exclusive Pr├ęgoo drawings!
August 18, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
Crying in a bad way? Based on what? Because of my actions or my summarization of others’...
August 18, 2017
Anonymous sez:
this is the first time this website made me cry instead of laugh. once in a while there was a...
August 17, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
I am merely not declaring it impossible, since I have very little taste for it and do not seek...
August 17, 2017
Indighost sez:
That sounds like you’re hinting at some rare fan works that you think is good! I’d...
August 17, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
I would not unilaterally say all fan-created material is bad, but I do almost consistently...
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    01-15-2006
    MeSpace
    11-EH-2005
    Biggest Loser
    10-EH-2005
    Mall Blandness
    07-20-2005
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    01/05/05
    Belindi
    11/03/04
    Mall Egadness
    09/22/04
    Las Vegas
    07/30/04
    Spiderman 2
    07/20/04
    Jope and Dopes
    06/27/04
    These Green Eyes
    04/24/04
    Friday
    04/01/04
    Wedding
    03/07/04
    Game Over
    03/02/04
    McDenny's
    01/09/04
    Mall orneryness
    01/06/04
    Movies I'm not going to see
    11/14/03
    Back fashion school to
    09/14/03
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    06/14/03
    JList
    06/03/03
    France
    03/31/03
    Official pizza of Nascar
    03/16/03
    Browsers
    02/23/03
    Michael Jackson
    2/16/03
    Free Speech
    02/05/03
    Thursday
    01/23/03
    Doofs
    01-whenever-03
    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same