battery? this guy? he looks like he has negative muscle mass. he looks like a vampire who drinks V8. he looks like a melting onion. he looks like an Xbox npc
he looks like goth peter pan. he looks like eddie munster on heroin. he looks like a tim burton protagonist. he looks like whoever michael jackson was trying to look like. he looks like bulimic danhausen
he looks like my older brother before getting glasses
he looks like a scarecrow hairdresser. he looks like angsty chris kattan. he looks like a tetsuya nomura placeholder character. he looks like he would do anything for love but won’t do that.
he looks like a robert palmer dancer

i don’t have sympathy for mysogonistic twerps whose only accomplishment is having a y chromosome, especially ones who encourage followers to smash their jaw bones with hammers in order to achieve a more arbitrarily desirable appearance. someone who looks like a pimp from ferngully, who looks like a mannequin at sears, who looks like tiramisu, someone who looks like someone shia labeouf grew a beard to avoid being mistaken for has no business telling others to maim themselves so they can look more like him

I don’t think anybody has actually DONE this, despite probably single digit instances of people like THAT suggesting it being picked up and massively reported as if it was advice that anyone followed, but he seems like enough of a sociopath that he wouldn’t discourage anyone from doing it. He has also encouraged fans to believe he murdered a pedestrian with his automobile, and nothing about his aura indicates this is some sort of satire on malicious social media personalities. he doesn’t even have defenders who try to claim it is satire like Alex Jones dones. He gets attention, presumably money, for being a sullen weirdo, and has not been given an incentive to stop nor life experience that would allow him to develop his own incentive to stop. There are several millenia of morons doing stupid things because they think god will protect or reward them (and indeed filling military-directing positions in several, if not all world governments), and now just the allure of “views” is enough to make them kill themselves eating spicy tortilla chips or detergent pods, so no rumored lethal fad is too implausible to be real, even if it isn’t real yet.

which makes it more real than this gaslighting and momentarily quite confusing before I realized it was fake advertisement twitch sent to my email in January despite me hating streams –in fact by January having a computer not stable enough for me watch streams even if i wanted to– and never using their chat boxes. even if it was real, and indeed people i don’t actually know tend to be the most sure of their expertise regarding what i “would love,” they are also consistently mistaken so I wouldn’t want to see whatever this hypothetically would be about anyway except to declare it foolish and invalid.

an extremely ugly drawing of the beaver-type mascot of the buc-ee’s convenience store+gas station chain holding forth a plush doll of itself and spraying blood on the ground out of a gasoline pump while declaring “Everything’s fine! Keep on buying crap!” the background attempts to show oil fields wastefully flaring off but also tomahawk missiles flying past but ALSO a construction vehicle pushing extra buc-ee’s figures into a landfill and these should probably have been several separate drawings

if this picture is a completely ineffectual and unclear protest at least you get to see a gross cartoon beaver, assuming you are into that sort of thing, which i probably would not draw otherwise
in fat this is better liked than my usual posts and considerably better liked than my usual gripey posts and i largely attribute that to the gross cartoon beaver but as long as viewers don’t contact me directly under the impression that i get off to gross cartoon beavers despite a quarter century of internet evidence that i don’t i will take what i can get.

I have heard only nice things about “buc-ee’s” from a frequent patron of that but he also tends to pretend-joke-like “normal” bits of america which we both understand to actually be horrible, but it disturbs me that a chain of combination world’s largest gas station and worthless souvenir store is somehow expanding when the natural results of this sort of consumerism on the world are only becoming more obvious, unpleasant and lethal, never even mind those to whom this was always lethal through a century of toiling in factories and sweatshops for little to no money in order to make trashy low cost american goods that probably get thrown out within a week of being purchased

Apart from that buc-ee’s incorporated is apparently extremely litigious against other convenience store chains with similar names or mascot logos despite it only being called “buc-ee’s” rather than “bucky’s” to begin with in order avoid being charged with copyright infringement by whoever owns the Ipana toothpaste mascot “Bucky Beaver” after which buc-ee’s is in fact named and the mascot more than casually resembles, via the founder being compared to the character as a child, and this apparently isn’t even an obscure fact. Just nobody asks “hey why is there a hyphen instead of a K and then two Es instead of a Y?” Buc-ee’s has also sued to keep a convenience store chain actually called “Bucky’s” but which lacks mascot signage out of texas. Granted I don’t have much faith in the integrity of a company that isn’t from Texas but wants to go into Texas but the point is that Buc-Ee’s is a sketch-ee business.

in fact when i tried to look up picture of the 1950s bucky now i found numerous pictures of other partially-dressed beaver characters also called bucky and some pictures of the buc-ee’s mascot from persons under the impression its name is simply “bucky” anyway even immediately after spelling the store name the official k-less way.

it was also reported less than two weeks ago that numerous –though not all– Buc-ee’s locations have been given F ratings from the better business bureau but I don’t know enough to say that isn’t a trait common among all convenience store chains. People shop at convenience stores for convenience and, ideally, no other reason. when a convenience store is bigger than a supermarket but still operating under convenience store principles it’s going to be a disaster.

The most recurring compliment i see about buc-ee’s is that its bathrooms are clean. It’s bathrooms are SUPPOSED to be clean! I would be more impressed if their car fuel was clean. Not having human waste smeared on the walls should not be a difficult obstacle to overcome.

unless buc-ee’s is cheating out its competition for being secretly run by skeletons I am not impressed.

facebook’s unrequested AI scan got to the point this time. there is of course no alternative to submitting to an obnoxious ai-scan when posting images on a billionaire-owned platform. maybe it is training the machine on my drawings but generally this is training that will only sabotage the “work” of sleazebags who think they are entitled to have the computer illustrate projects for them.

(I suspect that one of those link icons on the upper left has its data entered improperly which is why i can’t get them to go where i want and also why this comic strip image is trying to show up at full size but only on the front bimshwel page and not in the sub page version where i did not try to add an extra link icon when I was fiddling with them last month since I was having so much trouble doing that)

a very condensed version of a particular recurring complaint to hopefully make me shut up about it at least for a little while
friend and foe alike have commented elsewhere to make clear that they still deal with/are anti-fact shills as bad as the foremost source material for this HAD been so maybe that at least for now they aren’t or at least do not appear to be to the degree they had been represents a more positive shift overall than I have felt like it is.

of course the “foe” in this case seems to varyingly lack reading comprehension entirely which makes me wonder if it is an automated account or a human who trusts automation above its own humanity, and certainly anyone else’s. the inability to understand or unwillingness to put forth effort to combined with unwillingness to admit weakness is also a driving factor in ai-generation usage, which also leads to more grandiose, harmful and stupid misunderstanding
possibly i confused viewers by having the perching creature be smiling. i presume its job is specifically to encourage the typer to issue angry rebuttals, and not trying to issue “ho ho, trump is FINISHED this time!” style worthless premature gloating, though a different person than the one pictured here purported to be “in full agreement with” it, despite it not having expressed an opinion, so i assume its behavior was interpreted in such a manner. Life sure is fun when there is no single way i can not communicate what i want to effectively!

i can think of NOTHING more ENTICING than a SACK full of MEAT. I would betray an oath of loyalty and my past livelihood and risk execution should I be recaptured for that, but not otherwise, sure. I think a lot of people would. If glorious leader Trump is so worried about foreigners he should forego the illegal thug deportation ice gangs and just drop sacks of meat into whatever countries he is worried about. Gosh maybe the rest of us will even leave to go after it and he can have america to himself. The president can afford better food than that.

yes very much so. this is just the level of artistic quality and inspiration that i expect from someone who doesn’t know how to spell crayon.

meatwhile this guy is really han de to have around

of course not, obviously i was vaccinated

one thing that is funny to me about the japanese video game production and publishing company Koei’s longstanding obsession with Romance of the Three Kingdoms is that they refer to the famed hero Cao Cao as “Sousou.” With no space in the middle, presumably pronounced like Susu. Even in games that have been translated into English and the name outwardly presented as “Cao Cao” you might be able to find “sousou” labeled on the game’s internal data files. Even when we call him Tsao –or Sow or Cow; silly farmbred livestock, sure, but still bulky and formidable– he remains Susu on the insisiside. This guy is supposed to be the most treacherous and fearsome warlord of his era, if not all history, and he has the same name my sister got called as a baby. I like especially when it is combined with another word; a spinoff game called Legend of Cao Cao is just “Sousouden.”

however, i take freddy readiness very seriously

This song is NOT on that playlist and I will not be suggesting its inclusion even now that i know who it is about.

////////////////////

ALLLLLLSO i just moments ago realized that last night i accidentally “published” an unfinished post about moraff when i thought i was editing the previous week’s post about moraff to say that i wasn’t ready with a post for this week yet and also had not yet decided what that i was working on i would try and force into being a post for this week, which turned out to not be the one about moraff. if you saw it and wondered why it seemed unfinished, that is because it was! and if you saw it and didn’t notice it was unfinished, then this website is terrible!

some people you just can’t take anywhere

I spent far too long on this considering that I couldn’t even tell if it made sense. Which is consistent.

generally mario is only seen on adventures in hostile territory where jumping and shouting a lot may help in defeating or frightening foes, but perhaps like veteran soldiers or freed prisoners mario has difficulty outside of the dangerous situations he has adapted to survive in. but then as i spent longer [needlessly] refining certain bits of it I considered that I would not far too well either if stuff kept bumping into me and THEN I hit myself with a meatball, though still better than this.

and a truly masterful unrequested, non-preventable artificial intelligence assessment from faceboof. I am so glad the entire United States economy was force-fixated on to cramming this technology inextricably into everything.

there! look! he is right there! Only part 1 but presumably his torso and legs are nearby

Just one week ago I posted a tiny picture of Hulk “can I stop paying Marvel royalties for my first name now?” Hogan on this website and today he is dead. Let that be a lesson for you: believing in omens, curses and general superstitions lead to delusions and terrible judgement.

once he finished lying to children that they could get success like his through legitimate means, he spent the rest of his life burning bridges, stepping on former friends, using clout to get his way, long past the point where there was any personal practical benefit to getting his way, and shilling for garbage, all stemming from his ability to pretend to be good at fighting weirdly back in the 1980s, and in the end the only people with anything nice to say about him are right wing wealthy (at least in this obituary which may be picking and choosing whom it quotes) and or oblivious scumbags and even they rarely have any point of reference from the 1990s or later.

Really he might as well have been dead 30 years ago. (presumably I am still talking about Hogan; thankfully Carrot Top has never been socially relevant). I can only be grateful he was never able to become US president, bare his full awfulness to the world and have the entertaining parts of his legacy become completely sickening in retrospect the way trump’s did

i saw this line in shining force 3 and could only imagine it being spoken in the same voice hogan used in No Holds Barred to say the same thing and that is still funny for me to think about.

and for years I believed this (since I only had a wav file) was from 1991’s Suburban Commando but it is actually from 1989’s No Holds Barred, again failing to supercede the 1980s True enough, the 3 ninjas hogan I posted last week was from 1997 but as noted it was also incredibly tiny and I don’t know a single dumb line of dialog from that nor have even mis-attributed one to it.

a bonus, I was looking for Hogan-related lines in my quotation file to use as the header here and saw this one but I liked my dumb little comment on it too much to post without context. I wonder who that product would even have been for; even by 2006 Hogan was over 50 years old and probably not considered a profoundly energetic figure and if he was it wasn’t from drinking branded bad dubious soda

anyway with this event the last surviving person who was allowed to call me “dude” is deceased so I can be much more emphatic in my requests to not be called that going forward.

this ought to do/undude it

there isn’t enough bad news in the world so i made some of my own

you can click on it to try and get a better look if you need one, but you probably do not need one
sometimes i worry that it is not my place to criticize contemporary entertainment offerings since that is not made for me. But a long time ago it WAS, ostensibly, made for me, and i STILL didn’t like it

A scene perhaps not a whole lot more inspired than the envelope art sections in the magazines where I used to see these characters but probably more ambitious

If you recognize all or most of these there is something seriously wrong with you, but hopefully not enough for you to draw a similar picture.

i thought about having a contest to see who could name the most, but no reward I can offer would make up for the trauma you would have to go through in order to be able to do that

I had to exclude humans and post sega-saturn-era characters to ensure that I could eventually stop, though a few mild exceptions may have slipped through anyway.
I like a few of the characters and a few of the games even, not necessarily at the same time, but by and large they deserve what they get. They probably have some extra lives lying around anyway.

three substitutions occurred:

globmeister is easily the dorkiest claymate but i swapped in the mouse, instead since the only reason it exists was so the phrase “faster than a hedgehog” could be used in promotional material, Despite this speed being about as practical as a hedgehog’s at best, and usually less so. The gopher’s fire power is much more useful, from what i recall of claymates.
still i should have approached this with the expectation that most people who see this will not know most of the characters, and yet less will they know the hokey calculations behind any of the worthless beasts’ creations.

Initially I included both the terrible 1993 skunny that i wrote an appropriately terrible 2003 webpage about and also the 1995 “special edition” skunny that i did not learn of until years later. eventually i merged them into the left side figure so there would be space to draw in aero the acro bat. i decided that despite having insulted aero on previous occasions, again any person seeing the picture might well never see any other picture i ever made, and my disdain for aero and its games soars above most of the other characters, especially when i was refreshed on how much aero 2’s cut scene artist wanted aero to look like mickey mouse. and is certainly more LIKELY to be recognized than either skunny, so why have two of them? i also shortly afterward remembered that donk the samurai duck bears a D and that i could place it beside the other two to spell SAD. wonderdog has a W but while i can spell SAW and the stupid puppet from saw looks SORT of like one of these characters, I do not know it from its association with video games and so it would not qualify to appear.

bronkie health hero/the bronchiosaurus looks like croc because both of them are bare minimum creativity character designs. bronkie came several years before croc but who else knows that? the second health hero character “trakie” looks less like other better-known characters and so is more difficult to be mistaken for one, and so I added that one instead. In addition to removing the floating eyebrows from radical rex. As awful as they are, they interfere with the next lame dinosaur’s space.

i also used the blue character the one time that i played the game. i think the game is substantially better than aero the acrobat and the protagonist much less loathsome, even the one which looks like croc. Though it raises the question what my criteria is for inclusion, if I put characters I hate everything about amidst ones that I think were just stuck with a crummy company or set of directives. I didn’t add the cool croc twins either, and their game is probably worse than aero’s. Not because it is too limited in scope, as “zoom” also has extremely little for the player to do and I tossed that game’s moron in as soon as I remembered it existed.

And it wasn’t about space constraints because I added in billy the shell (Rmadillo), spanko, sally the blind cave salamander, who doesn’t even star in its own game, and psycho fox AFTER that. The only thing I can say for certain isARRHRHRHRHRGHH I’VE BEEN OUTFOXED

It is funny to think of people who never heard of me (or it) trying to identify the dope. All it does is cause problems.

this is not funny at all!

and LATER i added those dumb crocs anyway. it probably doesn’t need BOTH but I couldn’t choose one and had gotten it into my mind that they were really small so they seemed to both “fit.” Quik the Thunder Rabbit, while looking rather inflated in game still probably shouldn’t be so LARGE but its oversize was less apparent when there were fewer characters. Curiously i made both Brian the Lion and Oscar the [thing] smaller to accommodate WHIZZ, yet didn’t think of reducing quik. until now. oh fiddle dee dee.

after this i look forward to drawing more characters who do not have clown noses, buck teeth or eyes that touch

i suppose heart throbs is a better name than heart stabs, or myocardial murder munchies. Maybe “bleedies” would have worked

wah calm down please don’t shoot me with your alien ray gun, unfamiliar shouting person. This seems to indicate that your name is “Coco” but were that the case I can think of numerous other cereals that ought to have offered you endorsement deals.

not this one, though i would certainly welcome it if it meant keeping that creep bee away from My Kids.

i saw this plush effigy of the stop and shop “marty” robot in a bin with horrible elf legs decoration and thought they deserved each other.

apparently i have only mentioned marty one time, which may be too many. It is impossible to go to a stop and shop and not see one. what it does is slowly roll around the edges of aisles to try and block potential shoppers from entering or exiting. it searches for the tiniest, least consequential scraps of paper on the ground, then stops in place and starts calling out “Hazard, detected” forever until someone comes along and presses a hidden button on it that makes it shut up until it encounters another such obstruction. It is also able to trigger “clean up needed” announcements throughout the whole store if nobody presses the button soon enough. I presume its deployment has been used as justification for terminating employees. But fortunately these cheap pieces of trash ensure that a few additional sweat shop kids can earn three cents a day assembling them in the nearest country with no child protection laws. I think that is Trickle Down Economics.

I was surprised to see one in a half price bin since they tend to linger on designated shelves at full price after other similarly-themed merchandise would have been shuffled out of there and replaced with the next seasons’.

I call them “cheap” in the metaphorical sense. These full price pumpkin martspawn being from november 3 doesn’t PROVE my statement but apart from them christmas merchandise was already being rolled out in this section and there was no apparent inclination to get these out of there. They seem to be vying for the title of World’s Most Notorious Pumpkin


OH well pardon ME

other less prestigious positions may yet be available

these are going to be collector’s items one day. specifically, on wednesday, when a big truck drives around town gathering things like this, provided they have been deposited into the appropriate curbside vessel.

with that dorky facial expression and yellow helmet Dong Cheng seems more like Bong Cheng. I am not entirely surprised that his belt-inspired assassination attempt failed.

also it took me over nine years to mention this. despite a more html-named and internet-shrunken version appearing in the offline “nev” folder that i used in 2018, It is not in the online “nev” folder! What are you hiding from, Bong Cheng? nothing is beneath me now

ah ha sometimes i forget that a few other people still have standards

fortunately i do not feel like giving any right now!

elsewhere, Romance of the three kingdoms 8 is channeling my old phonics book

coincidentally, Lu Bu met Cao Mao in China, the same place where

Monki met Popeye, an event whose depiction may as of 2025 may no longer be considered bootleg, though presumably will continue to be nipple-legged.

isn’t it enough to beat up on these meeply little space aliens without stealing their handkerchiefs?


You’re not even going to let them wipe away their tears after you bop them into the air so they get stuck with their points in the ground?

If I had been consulted I would have insisted on giving them big smiles, stupid-looking ears and or bowties so players would understand that these creatures deserved this outcome.

See, how easy was that? Too easy. It does not deserve to succeed
WELL now that I have drawn and looked at this thing I realize it strongly resembles most of the moogles in the game. Why can’t I beat them up?

ARRRGF what WORTHLESS moogles! They already weren’t qualified to do a job and now they aren’t trying to! They are even named after how worthless they are! And now they are on my web page! I can’t handle this! I’m leaving.

Another day, another creepy yellow sky.

I am going to have to start wearing a helmet when I go outside now.

Assuming the subject event is “breathing,” how am I meant to avoid that which wouldn’t be worse than not avoiding it?

as someone who watched the manda lorian show when it was new and managed to enjoy it at the time despite the hype and my disapproval for the streaming platform being paid for by someone in my home, my immediate mental interpretation of the illustration on this object was “gremlin hiding in grimy toilet.” I don’t know what a tub tread is but it probably isn’t meant to be used in this location relative to the tub’s.

counter-intuitively, encanto being reduced to flat colors and simple shapes deprives it of a substantial quantity of disingenuous murderability, though certainly not being able to hear it also helps.

I don’t know what this is for either, but if a scent’s origin is a factory sealed package then it definitely isn’t natural. Maybe this is for scaring animals off your property.

an important rule for using currency portraits to advertise your business: make sure that if you’re going to crop within the existing dark backdrop so that it risks looking like hair and push the contrast so that the shadow under the nose risks looking like a mustache that these don’t combine to read as Hitler when seen from a distance.

yeah

also a good idea: don’t put a cartoon hitler in your official corporate logo. the “stars and stripes” 19th century bed attire isn’t fooling anyone (It also doesn’t makes sense since the stripes are inconsistently oriented between the sleeves and the middle part). even if you later remove the mustache and change the name of your company to “mattress firm” a few years later some creep on the internet is always going to remember.

I think it is telling that Sleepy teams up with two veterans of the Avengers but NOT Captain America. I understand it was mutual; Captain America objected to Sleepy ripping off his aesthetic and Sleepy objected to Captain America’s conduct during their previous meetings.

a suspicious drawing of sherry the talking mouse from several Ultima games abusing gargoyles with their own boomerang

I always liked the Gameboy game Ultima: Runes of Virtue. Attempts to directly port regular Ultima games to consoles felt unfinished and misguided, beyond even the degree to which the original non-sequel Ultima did, but Runes of Virtue was a specially crafted Gameboy action puzzle adventure perfect for the short play sessions that Gameboy was specially suited to.

DESPITE the very stupid dance that Sherry does at all times.

In frap it was only this past month that I saw enough of Ultima 6 to realize Runes of Virtue directly follows it, as back when I played Ultima: The False Prophet, its super nintendo port, I found it less unfair than Ultima Exodus, also a Nintendo system port and the only other game in the series I had tried, but still too unclear in its goals to get very far in. Nintendo versions hiding the title numbers didn’t help. BUT recognizing a bunch of the character names and concepts from Runes of Virtue helped me appreciate what I could of it slightly more than I would have otherwise. Certainly more than if I had known of and played the bewildering nes port of Ultima 5 instead.

Though it turns out to be the most accurate and playable Nintendo system Ultima port, that still was not enough for me to crack, apparently. Perhaps its most egregious offense of is presenting Sherry as an isolated-use item whose only purpose is retrieving a single essential item and optionally running under locked gates to steal other treasures or move switches, provided you think to try that,

and who inherits the hero’s neon green poison aura when deployed if you happen to have one available
rather than a fully functioning combat party member whose 1 strength allows her to only wield the likes of a boomerang, but with 27 dexterity, out of a maximum of 30, for deadly accuracy.

I actually have a legal copy of this game and apparently generated a character in it years ago, probably around the time that I regretted playing ultima 1, without going any further, and imagined it should be pretty easy to get to the same place the youtube video was at and take my own screenshots, since youtube pictures are ugly and the person whose video I took those from is an irritating bonehead anyhow. As hokey and annoying as Ultima is, I appreciate the progress it made across a few years and the influence even the shoddy ones had on better games, and reserve the right to laugh at them on my own terms, without condemning them. Some dork reading all the dialog aloud, stuttering half the time, and constantly interjecting snarky comments and complaining about how it is different and better in Ultima 7 makes it take longer and also me to hate him more than the video game he is suffering/cheating through.

But I was today unprepared for how irritating it also was to control Ultima VI even on its intended platform and how infrequently attacks connect even with high dexterity (though more so than without), so I could not easily recreate the scene. But I had already made the dumb drawing so felt obligated to try for longer than was sensible. I thought eh it can’t be THAT hard. I just need to kill ONE big gargoyle out here to have an unblurry picture of its body on the ground and then I can edit the text to say that Sherry did it.

sensing my unvirtuous inclination, an invisible doppelganger of the king Lord British with no property except raw scorn suddenly got a turn and crashed the game when I tried to enter a command and then stared at me disapprovingly until I forced dosbox to quit

I had a dream of seeing famous French singer/cartoon character “Carlos” directing some sort of production with a local musician– initially I understood to be someone who resembled MC Hammer and came up to me in the street earlier but later Carlos’ possibly fictional daughter called me on the telephone and said it was actually her– in a restroom of a Paris metro station, and wondering later if i should go back to get video proof. I assumed the dream implausible since Carlos got dead in 2008, before I took video regularly or went to France,

but apparently I was misinformed. You might think it is referring to someone named Carlo but it is in fact a real band made up of real bearded people that [au] pays [de] homage to Carlos and just doesn’t understand how ownership apostrophes work because French doesn’t use those and I guess they want this title to catch the attention of non-french speakers who have heard of Carlos and are curious about developments in his life (after or otherwise), all me of them.

with my curiosity fulfilled I don’t actually need to hear any of their performances. I may even have had a performance of Jope and Some dopes at the same venue and charged as much money. Also don’t read the page at that link. It is from 2004 and I have probably not read it since posting it but it looks complicated. It it just to indicate that I was briefly involved with a local performing arts event of dubious merit and effectiveness.

A clear sign Big-Y is a Connecticut and Massachusetts-only supermarket; if Kroger or Food Lion had a Kids Fruit Club that would be cited as proof of child grooming and republican governors across the nation would race to issue condemnations of it and proactively try to pass laws against it
naturally just [yesterday] I saw this

which IS in Connecticut, but the ludicrous conservative backlash to the name led to a bigger back-backlash that gave the store so much business that it ran out of stuff to sell. In Florida or Texas it might have had angry protestors outside demanding that the employees release fictional juvenile hostages and then a week later everyone inside and out would have covid.

still I am concerned that Big Y is getting so comfortable with these mutants

and worse, the mutants are getting comfortable themselves.

why don’t we just throw a beach party for them!

this is beside the point but I am fascinated that this game’s title screen is a redraw of its weird box-art; generally Japanese video games with weird United States box art don’t have their title screens updated to match it, except to alter logos. Also despite the weird cropping to allow the text to appear the picture overall looks less weird. although the tree is duplicated, the texture on the sand is questionable and the banana looks amidst a prophylactic demonstration, the artist treated the sun as a light source rather than another piece of fruit, and the figures themselves look less like there is stuff wrong with them, which to me is of foremost importance.

especially THIS creep, that looks less like it is surfing than “he went that-a-way!”ing while squatting behind a stair with bacon on it. Someone even thought it was good enough to put on the side of the box as well! It was not. There (here) it appears to be concerned about trademarking but unable to leave its post plugging a dike leak.

It might help to contrast this with the original Japanese box-art that is strikingly dissimilar to both its own title screen and this, but I decline to on account of it including a depiction of the grapes-themed boss foe that I find aesthetically unpleasant for reasons that are beyond the scope of this web page. Additionally that Japan Super Famicom box-art is dissimilar to the Japan game boy version’s box art, which would need to be contrasted with the fact of US editions of both using the same box-art despite differing in-game character designs, thereby explaining why the monkey only has a conspicuous tail in one of them, and all of these factors combine to really not be much help at all. Is there any expert in the field who COULD help?

oh WHAT?! I had no idea. Years ago this appeared on the zany video game quotes website, and I never knew or asked where it came from. I ASSUMED the graphic was for something remotely archie-related; the Archie Comics company published works on a few topics that weren’t strictly archie themed, such as ninja turtles and sonic t hedgehog. I didn’t guess it was in a video game magazine advertisement for a property other than those two, certainly not the monkey vs evil fruit game. Factually the sonic comics did not appear until after this but I had to look that up. I should not have had to look that up! This should never have happened! Had Archie been pondering video game comics before Sonic or does it merely mean Archie recommends throwing basketballs at food that has limbs and faces? Do I and Archie actually have common ground? What horror! Looking up the phrase “recommended by archie” now seems to indicate this endorsement was not offered to other products. Consulting the site’s founder likewise indicated the same source and that he had even scanned it himself.

and that is what me asking about it looked like. I did not really ask at 1:51am, however. Why is the time zone incorrect? And why did I think I needed to prove that I asked about this?

all in all a very stressful day! I had other pictures of stupid limbed fruit to show but now I am just upset.

Now I am more upset!

I don’t have to take this. I’m going home.