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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
May 16, 2021
Uh, oh!!! The Imperial Airforce (IAF) We’re surrounded! Let’s give ’em a bloody lip!

I was stabbed in the left shoulder today and so far all I have to show for it is this shoddy video of the shoddy video on display at the place where it occurred.

The only good thing about this is that since it is government and local whoever made this was probably paid little to nothing for it. OR some money laundering firm was paid way, way too much for it.

there is a belief among some highly dubious people that the only thing stopping us regular folk from getting vaccinated in larger numbers is a lack of empty, cutesy encouragement from casual acquaintances and commercial entities.


A frame isn’t going to ‘inspire’ anybody. They either want to be vaccinated and are waiting or don’t want to be vaccinated and would need a chain of miracles endorsed by current US president and alt-right pope Trump to change their minds and still might not if they hear George Soros got a vaccination too. In fact this sort of wimpy-appeal peer pressure is much of the reason they are so obstinately anti-everything courteous. You need to employ sarcastic macho bully smirkle-jerk peer pressure to convince them to get vaccinated, and you won’t, because those are the people with a financial stake in sowing distrust for science and or social decency.
If the latest center for disease control guidelines stating that masks are no longer necessary after vaccination aren’t in error then that is all but validating anti-vaccine, anti-mask advocates who said it wasn’t necessary to begin with since the plandemic was started on purpose by China and also a hoax and imaginary. Just because the new mask rules only apply to people who have been vaccinated and only two weeks afterward mean nothing because you can’t distinguish those who have from who haven’t without enacting the sort of measures that Trumpian sorts have been warning their congregants about “liberals” imposing ever since ever. Even if there was a vaccine to help prevent further ideological disease you would never get anyone who needs it to take it. I suppose that gets a bit into the same sort of realm as people with autism objecting to it being called a disease and not wanting it to be “cured.” Which is ironic because anti-vaccinators believe it would be totally eradicated by not vaccinating anyone against it.

Also, my profile picture has a dope in it and at best will only ever inspire any friends to re-evaluate our friendship. I would approve of framing this only in the sense of blaming the dope for someone else’s crime but there are few crimes it is smart enough to plausibly be accused of doing, apart from possibly acting as a consultant for the decision to implement animated anthropomorphic vaccine bottles, in the form of not saying “no” when asked if it was a good idea.
I other newts I have yet to experience any negative side-effects from either vaccination dose, even though I have seen remarks and memery bordering on fetishization of the idea of experiencing such effects. And I certainly had people worrying on my behalf about the immediate consequences of my second dose. Having to drive to, from and in Old Saybrook on multiple occasions has been the worst of it, and was so before I even got the shot. I think a lot of this is like msg-paranoia, in that the more people fear it the more susceptible they become to it. Which is preferable to fearing the vaccine entirely I suppose. Being afraid of dumb things and expressing those fears makes people feel important and helpful, I suppose.


I do not at this time require the assistance of cowboy birdmen.

I do have a bit of a headache, which IS one of the stated side-effects, but headache is also a side-effect for everything else, among them typing in a bright white text window in an otherwise unlit room for several hours. I also have more vaccine-related remarks and pictures to show and hopefully won’t.

//an addendor, I have had a steadily increasing ache in the targeted arm, and did also the first time, but I consider that less of a side than a direct effect of having a metal spike plunged directly into a muscle.

///addenorior: almost immediately after disabling the computer and going to my bed (an actual bed as of early march and I am yet uncertain if I prefer it to the mattress lump) I developed fever-like symptoms, but nothing I would have mentioned under ordinary circumstances. Including vague, uncomfortable body temperature and dreaming about lying in place precisely where I was while thinking about lying there, at best, and otherwise believing I was in an incredibly tedious factory facility dedicated to endlessly sorting the contents of my nasal passages. I was several times jolted awake by the imagined sound of non-existent text messages. Now six hours after the initial illness I feel relatively un-ill, and my arm doesn’t even ache anymore. However I am re-experiencing a general difficulty sleeping that was occurring months prior to the latest shenanigorps and is closer to being a matter of personal concern. Now I just want to eat until I get tired enough to fall asleep again and ideally do so properly. I won’t but I sure could.



January 9, 2021
indeed! with those prisoner’s clothes, we couldn’t use our best attacks!


What rinkety dinkety fisher price gallows, that frame should be made of bright purple plastic. The intent is certainly here but for lack of a better word the execution is not. I understand being afraid of the goons who set this up but they are buffoons and will never win. Seeing this thing makes me want to start guessing letters, not submit to trumpdumb. I am more afraid of my obsessive compulsion from the center beam being just SLIGHTLY too short to cover the tops of the two support beams than from what any of the people who assembled them that way are going to do to me. Although to be fair i am white and did have a christmas tree in my house.

There are people on the internet’s favorite websites and in commercial news reporting who want everyone to be afraid and paranoid all the time. When people are afraid they make terrible decisions and lose their ability to look after themselves. I encourage you to be aware and cautious but not afraid. especially not of


this guy, “the Q Shaman,” and his sickly dwarf ward sidekick. Q not for “questionable life choices,” but “q anon,” a gang of angry mostly/entirely white men who bond over their white manliness and a belief that the us government is run by pedophiles. i am supposed to believe this dork who wears fur and no shirt in public and openly chums it up with nazis and confederates is deeply concerned about pedophilia. When I found out his name was Q Shaman I thought he should have purple fur and a bell on his head and be marching on Sesame Street. I assume he went to Washington DC instead because Mantaur was busy.

It is a bit like those fake political parties in England, but those are just rich idiots wasting their own money on being ridiculous and being fully aware of how ridiculous they are.

They believe in the words of someone called “Q,” someone who is anonymous and therefore could actually be anybody at any time and never has to be accountable.


Either this guy is doing it all as a gag and it is all meaningless and nobody should take him seriously or he is completely serious and insane and nobody should take him seriously. He was only arrested today after I started writing this, for his part in breaching the capitol, three days after doing it, and two days after calling the Federal Bureau of Investigation himself and then openly disclosing in this interview that he had done so, like he is proud of that. The question is not why did it take three days to get him, but why he wasn’t in jail before that. I don’t know if he constituted a legitimate threat to members of the government but he is an insult to all intelligence.

It reminds me of some forum I was on in 2008 called “coti” where I could never tell if anyone was kidding or cruel, and they could always retroactively claim cruelty was kidding. I was banned from that forum for saying brief silly things that were only tangentially relevant. And THIS guy whose every single post was 80% the same enormous “joke” images that were absolutely never relevant was very much pushing for it while promising payment of improbable fellatio in return and treated like the more rational party. I like pretending he went on to become a decent person.

I also to this day subconsciously imagine he literally IS this guy, who now officially wouldn’t look out of place wandering around the US capitol, even though ostensibly he was making fun of the fact that this guy exists. But you can’t tell and no one will tell you and if you ask they’ll call you a faggot and get you banned and the friends you followed there will let them, retweet their gross webcomics at you later, possibly marry and start patreon-begging youtube series with them.


oh to donovan’s reef with THIS guy. I wasn’t even TALKING about him.

Let’s be fake positive fluff-suited balrogs and get paid for it


Really what was I EXPECTING? I know better now. I may not have done anything with that knowledge, and the imbecile dressed like Legends of the Hidden Temple got scorned and arrested without my input, but I know precisely why he and people like him irritate me so much. It goes so far beyond and below Trump. People of that sort are essentially nihilists. They believe in nothing, and don’t care if someone gets hurt. They crusade against evil they have no proof of while taking willful creators of evil as their jolly companions.

It is sadly old news by now that every closed institution is rife with sexual predators. The us government has been particularly bad at concealing lewd misdeeds. I don’t believe that anybody who supports Donald “Grab ‘em by the pussy, You can do anything” Trump beyond all shadow of reason is fighting for the rights of the oppressed. After the 2016 election I believed in learning to live with Trump as president and waiting to see if he really would screw it up as badly as people said he would, so maybe it seems disingenuous for me to quote something he said BEFORE the election, but in the full context we can see that everything bad he did before the election he also did after the winning the election, and he did it worse after losing the other election. It is preposterous that anybody would put themselves at risk trespassing in the capitol building just to get social media clout. It is ALSO preposterous that it only took THIS for Trump’s fans inside the government to finally turn on him.
in 2016 I thought they would refuse to back Trump, at the risk of splitting the party, but the party and winning were all that mattered, and are still all that matter. Everybody rushing to condemn Trump NOW who were trying to get him elected and RE-elected do not deserve any more congratulations than the forklogans with secessionist flags who are only more guilty an account of not recognizing that the tide has turned. I will forgive real people who show contrition, but I don’t think many, if any, of Trump’s former enablers have, will have, or ever have about anything. Least of all Mitch Mc-will-never-be-Gonell, safely re-elected and free to put forth the appearance of decency short term. People like that have done more damage than Trump; Trump only made their game more obvious and decided to stop playing it properly after he lost. He pledged to drain the swamp and instead wallowed in it for four years, and then the swamp drained him after he formally invited the tar pit to join the fun.


A swamp is in fact a crucial wet-land habitat for animals and plants and I hate to associate it with the likes of Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz who would gladly see all real beneficial swamps replaced with walmarts, so “good” I will probably stop hearing that particular phrase used for a while.

I would also welcome never hearing about “celebs” or what they want that they don’t already have ever again.



December 14, 2019
In Disney’s fifth installment to the franchise, Air Bud finds that he also has the uncanny ability to play volleyball. Throughout this experience he and a talking parrot stop some crooks and make some new friends.


On december 1 2019 my niece Vackshfump was watching “ralph breaks the internet” Yessir this 5-year-old really needs to see a cartoon full of comedy celebrities talking about loot farming and ebay. I was only near it twice and was vividly reminded of this foxtrot strip except imagine it cost 175 million dollars and bill amend owned toaplan and taito.
“all your base are belong to us” is one of the earlier meme “phenomenons” before people described it with the terminology “meme.” Bill Amend was lazily referencing it in this comic strip for nerd credibility despite it already having been considered old at that point and this not really having any angle on it other than to observe that it exists, and of course it takes 6 weeks for newspaper comic strips to get published, or at least did for most of their existence.
And what is my problem, then? The ralph movie is even older now than the all your base joke was then. But I am not doing this for credibility! If I was going to have any I would have gotten it a long time ago. I was never going to watch this cinemagony on purpose when it was new, much less pay for the right so that I might offer a timely criticism. Having a small child in my life is bringing along with it a great deal of unfortunate media the likes of which I would greatly prefer to not be aware of, because it does THIS to me. I don’t have time to write these things, do you have time to read them?


You can say “WELL it’s not FOR KIDS just because it’s a CARTOON!” but it shows up in the netflix “kids” mode that hides countless other mildly to substantially less stupid things, and also prominently features the official non-parody disney princesses which exist primarily to extract money from parents of this specific captive audience, with the aim of turning those kids into willful captives and likewise captors when they produce their own children.

also on netflix kids, Jerry Seinfeld IS “The Bee Movie,” Adam Sandler’s entourage in Hotel Transylvania and Alec Baldwin as the only character he plays now inexplicably drawn as Boss Baby, all three brightly colored celebrity wank jobs devoid of kid-comprehendable content (plus numerous other equally ugly items I am glad have not been put on in my presence yet). I don’t think bee movie even has one kid character. Of the four I have named, only bee movie my sister refuses to put on, and i don’t understand where this line is drawn. I acknowledge that seen here is boss baby the spinoff baldwin-less netflix series, but I know the full film is there also because I had to deal with that last year. It was boring and pointless but not an exercise in brand awareness disguised as something other than that. The trash culture fetishizing of hotel transylvania is deplorable and its character designs only seem bearable in the proximity of minecraft but I will admit the animation itself is occasionally funny-looking, which I can’t say for the others I have mentioned. I think Trolls the movie is a crime against humanity and demi-humanity but it is unmistakably a children’s film and not visible here so citing it would not aid my cause.


if you are curious about the netflix kids setting, this is how customizable it is. You can’t tell it to include or exclude certain titles. You can’t personally select and omit every movie that has excessive belching or flatulence in them, for example, and I presume there are a surprising number that don’t. Of course as a parent have the power to NOT put on a movie you don’t like, but when kids are bred from birth to want disney-y trash and you are granted no means to tune it out you end up having to fight your own child to avoid it.


and maybe you deserve it if you cede the authority to a moneymaking business to decide what is “age appropriate” and harbor absolutely no other categories of appropriateness.
If I was the parent I would browse it myself in advance and choose some things that weren’t too horrible but most people aren’t like me and netflix specifically isn’t really big on giving users control anyway. it automatically plays trailers for whatever is selected including whatever it suggests to you first and complacently refuses to let you disable that.

As indicated, I was near it twice; two days later, ralph was on again! it is legitimately upsetting to me. I don’t know how to co-exist in a world where this is considered valid entertainment. It makes me depressed. I can’t have happiness if this is what people want. if i have consolation it is that it made ONLY half a billion dollars and that is now considered a disappointment to the Disney organization so there probably won’t be a third, but everything is like that now to some/many degrees so it isn’t going to stop.


everything i guessed about it is not only true, it’s twice as bad. the princesses aren’t in the whole movie but they are in much more than I was expecting. they show up about the same length into the film that optimus prime does in the transformers movie and get about as much screen time. (incidootily my least favorite part about 2006 transformers was also the unnecessary pandering references to the internet) This movie cannot stand on its own, and nobody cares. imagine if “meet the spartans” made much more money and put a curse on mentally-challenged movie critics to say nice things about it. that series got killed when writer producer jackasses seltzer and freberg became too greedy and decided to distribute subsequent movies themselves and suddenly couldn’t get into theaters. That is not a reliable circumstance for me to hope for with disney.


in this movie websites are places, otay. this one is called “ohmyDISney” and the character who says it pronounces the heap out of the DIZ. it is supposed to be a disney fan site because this communicates that consumers also accept that star wars and marvel just ARE disney, not established worlds with their own identities that disney simply purchased relatively recently within our lifetimes. and also this isn’t corporate excess this is what WE the proles WANT. Like this is MY fault.

that’s “oh my disney” as in “oh my god” without the god because plainly there isn’t one but that doesn’t mean you can’t receive doctrine and arbitrary commands in its name and worship it. Also it has its own hotels because of the allegory of an internet as a physical place that looks like a real place and real places have hotels and EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE IS MORONIC

I don’t consider pixar in the category of stuff disney just bought and assimilated because pixar’s public identity has always been synonymous with disney, and in many ways the current disney was assimilated by pixar. The same sap morality, fake comedy, california/celebrity worship and computer graphics addiction, and also John Lasseter has been in some way involved with every disney movie since way too long and was only kicked out after he, like every entertainment media figure who gets held up as incapable of error, turned out to be a sexual predator. Since that occurred people other than me have been complaining about disney movies again, which I can only hope means disney is actually getting better, but the Lion King bookended both sides of the Lasseter era and I hate it in any case. it’s still d-d-DIZney, turning a profit targeting schmucks, even if its hypnotism of the reporting media is slightly less complete.

Anyway this whole segment of the ralph movie is just to remind you that disney owns stuff and intends to mash it up in disgusting ways, it must be stated that all the specific video game references in the film are 20-40 years out of date or generic, but the oh! my disney segment includes real brands and absolutely reflects whatever disney wanted to project of itself in 2018. The princesses all know and get along with each other and wear contemporary slob fashions despite coming from different time periods and countries and don’t exhibit any traits that could be perceived as negative, because blind complacency is never treated as negative.

The climack scene with the princesses saving Ralph, their proprietary musical themes playing as each appears, is the biggest i have mouth-painfully-agaped since the animaltopia preview. When moana ducked into the frame and smugly said “you’re welcome” I wanted to scream. I don’t talk about moana on this website, I hate everything about it so much without reservation and I already did that too much with the lion king, and now moana, and more importantly irritating references to the most irritating song from any disney product can just be in any other property that they manufacture. That whole thing, it almost made me cry. I wasn’t just annoyed, I was depressed. Because this has been out almost two years and I have never seen a word of complaint or displeasure about this. Everybody who has seen this film thinks this is acceptable, and would presumably be comfortable with disney owning every commercial property there is and making every movie a potential cross-franchise rule-free orgy of pandery idiocy that pretends it is smashing through once unbreachable cultural barriers.


whaaaaa? how did BART SIMPSON get into this AD for DISNEY PLUS to deface it? That is so SUBVERSIVE and actually not criticizing disney in any way and disney incidentally owns the simpsons now and it hasn’t been subversive for decades! It continues to exist for the same reason that the lion king remake took in over a billion dollars even though everybody i know who saw it didn’t like it and would probably go pay to see lion king remake part 2; brand loyalty that supersedes all reason for products that will never stop coming and has no incentive to get better.
also: if oh my disney is synonymous with oh my god then disney + can be seen as disney christ. The major difference in divinity is that it was possible to kill Jesus, at least for a little while.

A major thing that bothers me about Kevin Smith movies is how often characters are loitering around talking about other movies, but at least in that case they aren’t movies that Kevin Smith has a financial stake in, and if you skipped those parts, the other parts would still function as well as it was going to.

it’s like those sketches on saturday nuhlive where the actual person being parodied walks into the sketch and oh ho ho how droll aren’t we all having good fun NO it isn’t a real parody if the victim is in on it. You need to be able to criticize it in a way that it would not criticize itself, that its owner would not permit to be criticized.


also if you will only criticize a public figure without permission via special guest stars who are themselves beneath contempt and not even cast members then that doesn’t count either.
Gosh why even watch the show? It is much more satisfying to read a sycophantic summary of how “hilarious” the opening 20 minute parade of smirklejerk “woke” celebrities and applause breaks is. also my use of “woke” doesn’t mean right wing conspiracy schmucks are controlling me, it means a force beyond my control finally invented and agreed on a word for something i have been screaming at for what feels like centuries.
I had a tragic falling out that he is not aware of with stephen colbert over the shift from comedy to this “woke”ness but gosh at least he is devoted to his own show, whatever that show may be, and too busy to do stupid trash like this. James Corden’s show isn’t even in new york.
I don’t even hate Paul Rudd but he happened to get named in that headline and I don’t think he will suffer for it.

Also! Immediately before the rescue scene, Ralph falls through another character’s rescue vehicle, and rather than expressing alarm or anything organic, the character, who is unmistakably voiced by Saturday Night Live handoff Bill Hader, just talking normally, despite Hader’s greatest talent being to disguise his voice, emotionlessly states “wow that didn’t work.” Yes obviously it didn’t work! You saying that doesn’t make the fact that it didn’t work funnier! I really miss the laugh track convention from bad old sitcoms because I knew I wouldn’t hear it in a feature film, but smugly reacting on my behalf can be and is in everything. And why does disney bother buying ABC and FOX if it inherits all its actors and writing conventions from NBC? Because NBC is owned by Viacom which probably doesn’t want to sell it, but if dismey makes itself synonymous with nbc there is no NEED to buy it. It is [currently still] illegal to own all competitors in a field anyway, but not to indenture them. Although copyright law was changed specifically to let Disney keep owning mickey mouse so maybe it will get a law changed to let it keep owning more networks as well, and then another law changed to ban technology that increasingly makes tv networks irrelevant.


and this over here: note that it says “the muppet show” despite that predating disney’s definitive ownership of the characters by 30 years because despite all the muppet products since then The Muppet Show is still the last one that doesn’t come across as attempting to cash in on how popular the muppets USED to be. I did say I liked the muppets most wanted film but i wasn’t aware –first of all, how ubiquitous and tiresome the tina fey brand of comedy would become within a few years when all other american comedy had morphed into diluted imitations of it– and worse of the disgraceful “viral”-ready videos of

muppet versions of bohemian rhapsody and the like being made to promote the film. I am able to believe that the “brinksmanship” that got steve whitmire fired in 2016 from controlling kermit involved him protesting and blocking as much degenerative disney energy as possible (and maybe not, because he also performed and CREATED rizzo the rat which only got more tiresome and inclined to steal time from more interesting characters INCLUDING kermit as it went along). If you haven’t seen it, good. this was another of Vackshfump’s fixations about a year ago. it is “only” just under 5 minutes long but each lame muppet video connects you to more lame muppet videos, usually with obnoxious teasers built into them that show about 20 seconds out of context and then you see that again when the video actually goes on.
and i can’t say “jim henson wouldn’t have allowed this” because he allowed muppet babies which i hate most prominently and also thought selling to disney was a good idea, but at least those were cartoon non-“real” muppets so nothing they did actually happened.

It shouldn’t make a difference to a little kid what song the muppets are singing along to, yet the content is so moronic that I, a non-kid, feel embarrassed being near it. And that Bohemian Rhapdoder was chosen specifically so that adult children my age or older, who all this stuff is really made for, would recognize it and be taken in by the woah hey remember wayne’s world remember the 90s quotient. Even though the song is from 1975, 20 years earlier, i definitely never heard it before wayne’s world but heard it loads after that.
I remember in fourth grade a kid who had the song on a tape and would get other kids to do his bidding by saying “i won’t let you listen to my bohemian rhapsody” in the event they did not comply, and that WORKED

This video, it is so bad. It takes a song that is already overexposed and irritating from tired fake parody homages, and covers it with ancient muppet-related nongags lifted straight from that muppet show without any context. Context is VERY important to me. The entire first section is sung in earnest with unchanged lyrics by Gonzo, and Gonzo is not good at singing. The “joke” is that gonzo is accompanied by three chickens who are worse singers and maybe that is funny to somebody for about 5 seconds and it goes on for a minute. ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. the lyrics only change at the part about mama killing a man because the muppets are disney and family and disney doesn’t kill people except villains and parents. Then instead of “we will not let you go” the elderly hecklers say, in unison, “we do not like your jokes” to fozzy bear because see they DON’T like fozzy bear’s jokes and therefore it is funny for them to say that just for no reason amidst this song that otherwise does not concern fozzy bear or jokes or fozzy bear’s jokes.
It reminds me of the ten year period where i hated the muppets because of stupid trash like that and apparently that never actually ended.

AND you can say that the muppet show itself was largely comprised of muppety covers of existing songs. It was, but the intent was not to shoehorn in as many disparate muppet gimmicks as possible. They often featured original or unnamed puppet characters that had nothing to do with the established trademarked ones. They were content to be themselves without desperately trying to remind anyone of themselves. Also disney didn’t own them!

Anyway I don’t believe any muppets actually appear in Ralph’s movie beyond Kermit’s enormous disembodied inanimate head but obviously just the logo is enough to get the point across to somebody such as me, possibly only me, that muppets equals disney, and it all happens in about three seconds. None of this has plot relevance to Ralph since there is no plot to be relevant to. True enough to the title’s promise of wrecked internet, it is sort of like watching the moronic video content of a wrecked system sapped of its potential by soulless opportunists and corporate synergy, except there isn’t a perky brain-damaged narrator’s enormous hands taking the characters out of eggs while the words “here i am here i am how do you do” echo in the distance.

AND you can say that the muppet show itself was largely comprised of muppety covers of existing songs. It was, but the intent was not to shoehorn in as many disparate muppet gimmicks as possible. They often featured original or unnamed puppet characters that had nothing to do with the established trademarked ones. They were content to be themselves without desperately trying to remind anyone of themselves. Also disney didn’t own them!

Anyway I don’t believe any muppets actually appear in Ralph’s movie beyond Kermit’s enormous disembodied inanimate head but obviously just the logo is enough to get the point across to somebody such as me, possibly only me, that muppets equals disney, and it all happens in about three seconds. None of this has plot relevance to Ralph since there is no plot to be relevant to. True enough to the title’s promise of wrecked internet, it is sort of like watching the moronic video content of a wrecked system sapped of its potential by soulless opportunists and corporate synergy, except there isn’t a perky brain-damaged narrator’s enormous hands taking the characters out of eggs while the words “here i am here i am how do you do” echo in the distance.


Maybe this dumb frog wearing a bow tie would find it acceptable.


12-31-2019 104am
I just rediscovered this page from nearly ten years ago that I wrote after seeing Avatar and How to Retain your Dragster, in which I make loads of the same complaints. For the sake of my own free time and the few people who don’t yet think I hate them because I hate everything they like, I absolutely need to become less aware of new crummy movies. Even without media influences and truly shoddy friends encouraging these things at me I am not safe without working at the avoidance, and that would be less work than writing another page like this! I could drop dead at any time and I don’t want to risk there being a picture of Josh Gad on my screen when it happens and whoever finds my body weeks later thinking I wasn’t thinking something condemnatory because they definitely aren’t going to read any of this!



September 30, 2018
Dickie and Birdbath Watch the Woggle


These comic books showed up last week. I am sure they are fine. So fine that I am not even going to look at them in an attempt to invent new ways in which they may not be fine. I did the thing on the comic printer’s website which allows them to be bought direct from there instead of me, but I do not know how long that will want to be processed. I was too tired to deal with these matters at the time since i was attempting to finish

this painting. I did not succeed –there are several points where light will shine through the canvas if given the chance because paint has not totally saturated the area– but I ran out of time and sent it out anyway. I will probably not see it again until November, when it has concluded not being purchased by anybody, at which point I will decline to finish it. I priced it at 803 dollars because I did not want anybody to buy it because I wanted to finish it. I may however take that chance to get a better photograph of it.
It was made with oil paint across two weeks. The previous 18 by 18 inch oil painting I did, in 2015, took a month. My 18×18 inch acrylic painting from 2016 took two weeks, however. I chose oil this time when I only had two weeks of time because I actually chose acrylic but accidentally put oil paint on it and had to commit to that because acrylic paint won’t stick to an oil-painted surface and it is a hassle to get canvases at this size and I only had one. So with that in mind it is a solid effort.

The painting and comic books are both associated with my participation in the City Wide Open Studio Alternative Space Weekend event in New Haven, October 27 and 28. Which I must clarify is NOT an accomplishment in itself since anybody with $90, the ability to transport a table and a piece of trash to place on the table may also participate. Nonetheless I am devoted to producing trash and I have TWO tables.

This post and my other productions have been delayed a bit because, to put it simply, everything within range of my 3 to 5 senses is or becomes broken and stupid, and when those broken stupid things are not impeding me directly they are requiring my somehow top priority attention to waste time vainly trying to repair them, including cases in which, such as with two degenerate animals that share my home, and also my internet “provider” Frontier, another party’s goal is exclusively to make things stupid and broken.


And so this fits right in. I wanted to have at least one “boss” thing to show in the video I was going to make for my CWOS space, since I have no new cartoon this year. THIS is not that video. My “plan” was to have a playable release but I do not think I will, considering how long just making this one dorky pink idiot took, that it barely works, and potatoes.

There is no sound on this because i have not made the sound effects yet and this is not actually the place where that creature goes, and getting hit with a flung purple thing is supposed to actually be more dangerous than getting hit with other things but somehow all my shots of getting hit by them had ugly error messages floating over them, occurred when i had invulnerability on, or had the invulnerability off message, so you just see the two times when i successfully deflected one! The second half is to show that i wasted time animating it from all eight key angles even though in practice it will probably not spend much time pursuing non-players and of course this could never be played with more than one in the alternate dimensional event two people wanted to due to the broken scripts that allow the production as a whole to function even at the minimal level it does!


Also of “note” is that this frame actually does somehow get seen in the video so I ought to remove that text and the copious quantities of shod.

The next part of this would be to overhaul the “weapons,” since I hate just seeing that one stupid hand there, and find as many ways as possible to include interactive-seeming content that does not need to be drawn from multiple angles or require complicated code-production.

HOWEVER, I also need to, before October 27, produce posters to sell or at least present in addition to my usual 11×8.5 inch prints and yes of course I found a way to be terrified of that process. And when that is over, if I did all these things properly, and feel like I am received well by actual people, regardless of whether they buy anything, I will be in a relatively good state from which to plan what I will do at that point.

howdy



August 9, 2018
They find Clumsy Smurf at the edge of a cliff, and while trying to help him up, they are sucked into a gigantic vortex that spirits them to present day New York City.


this sums up why i do not like or even think about the hotel transylvania film series enough to have previously acknowledged it. My picture is terrible and compiled from several terrible pictures since I did not want to look like I was photographing it, and also the stop and shop granola bar shelf is arranged like a mosh pit but this is all it deserves. “it” being just another bland story of pixar-derived normal boring people with a single unusual trait that happens to manifest itself in appearance + celebrity voices. Legally Adam Sandler still has more than enough money to be considered a celebrity and is not at risk of being called an actor. In fact the “moral” is probably don’t judge a book by its cover! Maybe the MONSTERS are not the REAL monsters! Like every computer movie that has ever come out. in fact pixar has a series that is literally also “monsters” that are just like “us.” And also the Addams Family did that half a century ago and the Munsters even used Frankenstein. I don’t know why the Sony corporation didn’t just brand Hotel Transylvania a Groovie Goolies reboot. I didn’t think Underdog had enough name recognition to justify a 3d animated point-missing remake, and the Goolies have even LESS.
Anyway I thought there was no idea to start with, but by 2018 they have run out of no ideas since the third installmeh has a “everybody takes a trip to the beach” theme, which puts it into Brady Bunch territory. That is even the premise of the third The Chipmunks bad computer animated movie. Apart from the mummy, these characters aren’t really recognizable as monsters now. They just look like slobs.

I might have thought the right side one was Shaggy from Scooby Doo if I did not see the Hotel Transylvania logo and there being a woman attracted to him. in fact there is a Scooby Doo “movie” called The Reluctant Werewolf in which Shaggy gets transformed into a werewolf and gets taunted by recycled Groovie Goolies animation.* he even has an inexplicable female companion named “Googie” whom to my knowledge was not seen prior to then nor afterward (and isn’t seen here either). I remember watching it at the age of 6-9 on the USA network at my grandmother’s house since she had cable. It took about two hours. The running time was insane for something that dull and crummy. And I watched it anyway because kids have no taste. The left character here, I guess is just some lady. These people are PERSECUTED just because they’re MONSTERS even though they keep up with contemporary American fashion and gender norms.

Or maybe these two are the “normal” normal people that are supposed to be like the viewer’s avatar, who start off AFRAID but realize eventually that some business man/ trophy hunter / scientist nerd is the REAL monster, even though they are the people actually making the movies. the trophy hunters are doing it in a sexual sense but otherwise there is no difference.
(then I drew this) I don’t know. and i can’t tell. And once i can’t tell, what even is the point? “it’s what’s inside that counts!” that’s true! as long as you are completely ordinary and submissive to commercialism inside, be as garish as you want. Eat up –it’s on food, even– the fake politically correct morality of the moment.
I don’t even know if Hotel Transylvania 3: Die Darkman Die came out yet, maybe it even came out last year; these things are preservatived enough to be legally edible for several years.


here is The Roughly Adequate Dinosaur branded consumable material in shop rite in 2017 despite a visible copyright notice identifying 2015. Of course to be fair it IS at Shop Rite. You can tell it is Shop Rite because there are bright yellow labels that say “SAVINGS” on items which are not actually on sale. And you can tell I took this picture two years later than the date on it because I just typed text saying so.

(emphasis mine)

what on earth is “spooky” here? The five smoke stacks on the ship in the distance? The unsupervised child playing on a stack of abandoned cargo? That Quaker uses the iconography of a health food company while selling candy and corporate propaganda? I buy granola bars because I want to eat chocolate chip cookies and consider these marginally less detrimental to my well-being.
this is from the quaker website because the box with these characters on it was sold out when I finally decided to take pictures of them, not considering that I would postpone finishing what I was writing for another three weeks and would have ample time for the store to restock them even though I never finish one of these in under a month anymore.

*I mis-remembered this; recycled Groovie Goolies animation appears in a 1984 episode of The Let’s Go Ghost-Busters which I also have seen, but the production on Reluctant Werewolf is so shoddy and 1970s looking that this is plausible enough to leave in with a disclaimer. I was surprised just now to read it came out in 1988!

I have also been told by my own nagging need to sabotage my efforts by looking things up, that the completely ordinary looking woman here is Dracula’s daughter and the conflict is more of an obnoxious sitcom sort of deal with Dracula being overprotective of his daughter from this human who isn’t even a vampire and hanging out with his oafy friends who can’t stand their nagging wives. The nagging wives bit is extrapolation by me based on them being portrayed by Fran Drescher and Molly Shannon, them being absent from the plot description and my memory of commercials for Father of the Pride (that page is from 2004, when my parenthetical asides spanned whole paragraphs watch out). I was thinking: more Shrek, with all the annoying Saturday Night Live crummydians in the place of actors but really it’s more Shrek 2, with annoying pop singers added in to raise the marketing value among kids who aren’t yet old enough to think they are smart because they watch Saturday Night Live. In any event everybody’s just a slob at the beach by now and that means this completely ordinary-looking woman standing in direct sunlight is supposed to be a full-blooded vampire, so plainly it doesn’t matter that she IS a vampire. They probably try to play it like “look at this allegory about social harmony ho ho ho we’re so positive and messagey even though we just likened Jews to vampires.” Mel Brooks was even hired to voice Dracula’s father in the sequel (but not to write the screenplay). What’s even the point of calling him “Dracula” at this point? Dracula is only interesting because he does evil things while seeming pleasant and welcoming. A Dracula that is just an average nice guy –Adam Sandler isn’t a credited producer or writer but his wife and his daughter portray his wife and his daughter so one assumes he dictated how his character came across– and doesn’t kill people to keep himself alive or even kidnap them just to amuse himself isn’t Dracula!


It isn’t even Duckula because Duckula’s attendants legitimately want Duckula to start killing people, are disappointed when he doesn’t, and he is usually suffering most of the time. It’s more like Count Chocula: The Movie, especially considering the sugar-loaded rubbish component. Everything I see about Hotel Transylvania makes it seem like it is only as interesting as a two hour episode of Scooby Doo. Which regrettably is enough.



May 11, 2018
Other tools for revealing privilege to privileged allies who still have difficulty perceiving it are stories, such as Spot The Question.


I was having difficulty choosing a new solid state drive but I think all my problems are solved.


The mistake most manufacturers make is assuming i want to put the drive into my computer. They do not guess that I want to tape it over my eyes and punch the air with both hands at the same time like The Question.

If you are not familiar with The Question, the important things you need to know are


1: he ain’t got no face.

2) he is an expert at saving time.

3; he won’t give in to what is wrong and we refuse to stand up for what is right!

4, his best friend Prof is controlled by two puppeteers, one for his head and body and one for his hands, so he can perform coordinated actions, similar to Rowlf the dog.

this person is actually named “Tot” but I call him PROF because that is what his mug says and it appears like this is extremely important.

5? the answer is murder!

6! if he goes to Germany he HAS to dress like a nerd

Anything else?

I probably will not link to this post there!



April 8, 2018
Roughly $10 million was spent on animation tests to digitally map Carrey’s motion-captured human face onto a fish’s body, which projected disastrous results.

This came into my house recently. I share a home with my mother, sister and niece (all different people). Space is not always plentiful but we get along, generally. Usually it is just me who thinks the big budget dvds are as irritating as the Chloe’s Closet/Shimmer and Shine/other kid-targetted shows with home video releases tier fare, and I try to keep my negative treatises to myself through the first fifteen rescreenings because my sort of assessment ought to be opt-in only, but I don’t think anybody liked this specific production. First of all that blurb right on the front states “the biggest animated movie of all time.” What does that mean? It makes no attempt to justify itself. Everything about this is overbloated garbage that it never gets called out on because it says “disney pixar” on it. If you hold the box right up to your face, microscopic text may appear clarifying “domestic box office,” which means ticket sales in the United States. But that is garbage since ticket prices go up every year. The newer a feature film is, the more money it makes for the same amount of tickets. And this isn’t even the first time I have said that on this website but it is the first time I have seen that mislead cited on the front of a box. In truth it means “highest domestic grossing animated film of the several year period it came out during at the time this label was printed” but that doesn’t seem special when misunderstood it so it would never be used even though it actually communicates what it is actually saying. As long as that goes consistently un-clarified, every few years this “landmark” gets to be restated without retracting the old one.


You see this? Don’t try to read it. Not even there where it is legible. This is ALL blowhard wikipedia writers citing and comparing statistics of the money Finding Dory accumulated relative to other movies of various time periods across various time periods and NONE of it will matter once the next Avatar, Avengers, Frozen, Meet the Deedles sequels have come out, except to make their own bullshingle statistics sections longer. And this doesn’t include the NON-domestic grosses. It is gross wherever it goes.

This contextless blurb “Perfect May Be An Understatement” on the back of the box, attributed to Mark S Allen of “ABC” which incidootily is owned by the same company that produced the film, and what I initially came here to complain about, “perfect”ly illustrates what is wrong with the state of our mass media. 5 stars, 10 outta 10, 100% on Rotten Tamaytas and even the word “perfect” itself have been used so often to describe things that are just kind of good that they are now treated as if they are not good enough when a production to be rated is marginally better than kind of good. Our superlative language is just as inflated as our currency. When I declared Black Panther to not be radical I was presenting my opinion, but perfect CANNOT POSSIBLY be an “understatement” because the singular purpose of the word is to describe a thing which is as good as it possibly could be. Being better than perfect is only possible if perfect doesn’t mean what a dictionary says it does. In which event it is a pointless word because there are already words to describe kind of good whose meanings are less debatable.

I mean not to accuse that Allen is biased because ABC pays him to say nice stuff about disney-owned properties. I mean ABC wouldn’t hire somebody who has any remotely divergent or considered opinions. He has a wikehhhpedia page with a big smiley unblemished soulless picture of himself and a huge list of awards he has won but no indication that he ever had a thought in his life or even A life outside of being visible and awarded for being visible. Like Ryan Seacrest or Regis Philbin, he only exists to be in California and on television and radio and to like stuff that he sees and be quoted saying so by whoever requires a quote.


Just to be certain I looked up Regis’ morning show, which is in fact filmed in New York City, the only other place this sort of person is allowed to be, but EVIDENTLY Ryan Seacrest now has Regis’ old cohost spot. I believe these people spent a year “searching” before they found Ryan flurpindurpin Seacrest like I believe perfect may be an understatement.

And beyond that I know Finding Dory isn’t perfect because it still features the voice of Albert brooks — look at that orange fish in the shot just accidentally, I could tell before this was even screened in my presence that the fish was saying something scratchy and abrasive I did not want to hear. And every other male voiceover sounds mysteriously similar in jerk raspiness quotient, including a manta ray, an octopus, a beluga and a clam that is so grating and fake-comedic that even the other grating unfunny characters don’t like it. And even the ones that aren’t raspy are still obnoxious and neurotic and phony but then suddenly abruptly serious with sad music and from a non-voice actor just like every voiceover in every animated movie made since shrek came out and constantly throwing immersion-breaking “real world humor” at viewers like every cartoon since 1994 aladdin even though in aladdin it came via a being with magical time-transcending power who ultimately is a ripoff of daffy duck, who ceased being a bankable character around the same period (and also gilbert gottfried but he at least sounds inhuman and the remaining actors weren’t cast so their names could be advertised). It lacks the pacifist carnivores in a selective context that is presented as if it is plausible and sustainable that the first film irked me with, but there is about 3% effort put into making any of the characters sound like characters and not actors talking into microphones. I appreciate that it has less Albert Brooks than the other film but there is still a gorkload of albert brooks and people who talk the same way. And the obnoxious nebbishy dialog-


NEBBISH I said. I was trying to avoid saying “Jewy” but you have forced my hamlessness. I think the hurriedly talking over each in other in calm but annoyed voices and constant instances of “sorry” is supposed to make the characters seem “real” but real people aren’t like that unless you live inside an episode of Dory-voice Ellen Degeneres’ 1994 sitcom “Ellen,” which I as a child actually enjoyed, it being a tv show with live actors rather than a cartoon with talking animals, but for the sake of my example I shall say “Seinfeld.”


Which is how that “bee movie” got made eleven gosh darn years ago but that flopped because it actually presented itself as for scumbags instead of pretending it wasn’t because people don’t want to admit they are scumbags. Finding Bory isn’t a movie for children. It constantly jumps backwards and forwards in time, like it thinks it is Watchmen with fish. It heavily features the conventionally dreary heard-in-ads songs “What a Wonderful World” and “Unforgettable,” for crying out hopelessly. This is a movie for adults who think they are creative and open-minded because they watch movies for children. And Disney markets to THEM because they have more money than children and more contacts on the internet to hype-vertise at, but if they have children will also impose it on their children and think they are GOOD PARENTS for doing so.
I believe there should be cartoons for adults, but I think the pixar approach is disingenuous.
Findor Doingy also features Ty Burrell doing his best impression of the creep from archer after his character turns from also sounding like Albert Brooks partway through. I had to look up who it was just to be sure it wasn’t; that is H. Jon Benjamin. I know that’s his only voice but it confounded me to think that somebody else would be hired to try and sound like him. But the continued success of things that I hate indicates that confounding me is, from a business perspective, a very good idea.

Additionally, computer graphic technology has advanced to the point where environments look totally real, great, so you might as well just use real environments and superimpose the characters over them like Walter Disney himself and indentured friends were doing back in the 1940s without any computers, and contrary to now where it means the budget is 200+ million dollars, those filmmakers did it to SAVE money since so many of the art-laborers had been drafted into military service. I do not see the point. But these things all do a billion in sales, big buck$, inflation notwithstanding, because toddlers have no taste and adults live by rituals, and toddlers grow into children with their own rituals based on parents directing their toddler tastelessness toward stuff that they the parents like. I have been on deviantart long enough to see that hasn’t lead to a generation of more sophisticated children. Thankfully Violet (the niece) tends to lose interest midway through these things and wants to paint or play with playdough instead, and says nonsense that she makes up instead of movie quotes, but without my searing hatred for the companies that make the movies so hopefully she will have an easier time later in life being surrounded by people controlled by them than I do, in the event those people and/or those companies don’t overtly run the government by then.



December 13, 2017
Now will we do well, said Ulfius, our king is a lusty knight and wifeless, and my lady Igraine is a passing fair lady; it were great joy unto us all, an it might please the king to make her his queen.

Another ten+ year old lingering matter:


from that page, this to this. As with my last such comparison, the actual changed page has not yet been uploaded, since that seems to require a different mindset than working on them does, and the work is not finished! I hope to pog I do something about that ugly carpet. And I said not long ago how unimpressed I was with “*gets popcorn*” as a response to rambunctious activity. I did try to draw the plant thing from the initial image looking at a map to indicate it was confused at being in the wrong version of the picture, but then that means you would always need to have seen the old version of the page to “get” the new one, and the whole point of the new one is to let the old be forgotten, and also then that means I would always need to have the old one available somewhere, and for THIS? Ridiculous. Also its body makes no sense so I couldn’t actually draw it in a way where it looked like it had a map.

You will believe I can spend longer on one frame than some people do on entire comic books, and then spend as much time writing about it. This requires that I accept most “24 hour comic book day” offerings as entire or books, which I generally do not, but the statement felt superficially profound when i thought of it.
The old drawing of course looks more consistent with the style I was using in less-altered frames, more effortless and un-self-conscious, but I am too eaten by obsessive compulsion to handle this in another fashion.
I am sick to agony of Mario, Sonic and Link. In ten years Nintendo went from a video game company to a religion. In all honesty I never need to play Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat, the series alluded to in the preceding frames, ever again either, but I don’t know anybody who lives their life around homaging those games. Perhaps they exist but I do not know them. Oddly enough, my initial Zelda 3 reference was itself a protest to indicate my dislike for Zelda 64, which was by then nearly ten years old and being lauded by not-yet-religious nintendorks as the pinnacle of human accomplishment. And I STILL protest that, but Aganhim is not iconic in the way that Link is, so somebody might just think this means I drew any old weird Link variant with a generic wizard. Neither is especially funny to me, also, unlike the Kombat and Street fighting allusions in the other frames. However I “needed” the replacement to also include a wizard who uses lightning and a hero who uses a sword. Even though I ultimately totally redrew them both. But if I changed the layout, that potentially meant I could change the entire page’s layout, and if I did that I might as well NOT have a page full of irrelevant video game references, but I didn’t want to spend two more weeks on this.



Regarding my replacement, Final fantasy fandom IS overdone, but not to the same degree that anything first party Nintendo is, and certainly not with dumb old Golbez or Cecil. Although the TROUBLE with drawing any Final Fantasy playable character is that the version in the game is different than the far-from final one in the concept art. And in the case of Cecil, also substantially different from the one in the DS Remake.


Cecil even looks different from concept art to concept art because Yoshitaka Amano never adds keychain trinkets and circus stripes the same way twice.
also: there are two different flamboyant dark-armor people shown in these drawings and neither is Golbez. They are irrelevant to the present matter!



Also I OBJECT to the DOPE EARS on that one’s helmet.

It seemed most sensible to match Elpse to the Cecil that I recognize, but in fact that looks almost more like the Actraiser hero when drawn in here, and somehow it mutated into this gaudy mix-match that is not quite any version of Cecil. But whatever, Golbez, by virtue of being 50 feet tall, is sufficiently detailed in sprite form for my imitation to be identifiable and Elpse does NOT look like Link, apart from my forgetting to change the dingle-ball that I had attached to elpse-link’s hat, which arguably fits in better here. I would have liked to put a Shining Force allusion in there, but none of the prime antagonists use lightning, plus quite honestly the demonic character designs are too on-the-nose for this, and this is not about my favorite video games, besides; bubble bobble, hinted at two rows down, sure isn’t. This page is about whatever I was thinking ten-or-more years ago except for that one thing that really bothered me which had to go, and so it did.


you don’t know the half of it, buddy! To think I didn’t draw elpse in Tellah garb because I thought it would look too weird. (Also Golbez is afraid of Tellah’s Meteo)

If I lived in Japan I would be even more confused since the sword-wielding homecoming queen hero on the game’s box has had his colors swapped around to an even more extreme degree, likewise with his two companions, and the two people following THEM are generic nameless wizards that you merely encounter loitering around various places. I have NOTHING to say about the bird.

the back of the box, as well as that of the “easier” rerelease from a few months later shows this non-accessible party lineup against a monster groupings from the Mt. Hobs stage against the inside a town background. In fact the players and their positioning is identical to this other rumored fake screenshot.
Presumably the idea was to not spoil certain aspects of the characters’ identities. Yoips I WISH marketers took that approach more often, especially with the way Star Wars junk is promoted.


Slain: ONE golbez

For goop measure, here is Yoshitaka Amano’s Golbez concept art, which the version put in the game is about as consistent with as anybody could hope for in 1991, apart from the sprite artist just having to say screw it and force in the appearance of feet and not translating the arms to semi-profile view very well. I never even noticed the feet until maybe ten years after the first time I saw this. I always imagined golbez was floating and turning, casually pointing a finger at his enemies while turning away because he knows they are already done and he has more pressing business elsewhere, rather than just standing there rubbing his wrists together. This gameboy advance version is slightly condensed compared to the original super nes version, so golbez almost looks like he is posing in a bad rap video or doing the macarena.
In any event I think we have seen the last of Golbez for a while.



August 12, 2014
in titles of music, THIS is a dancer, and it’s gonna get ya


Apparently I had “published” this at some point prior to completion and not realized it, since the primary clue is that the word “publish” has switched to “update” in an inconspicuous location. Since it was necessary to edit an older entry that I linked to, I had been using the update button on that one, and so probably mistook the publish button on the new entry for the update button it did not yet have, when I should have clicked on “save draft,” which is in a different place, even though it has the same purpose on a non-public entry as “update” does on one that is visible, on which the old save button vanishes. Does that make sense? No, it does not!
Anywuh,


breaking news [a week ago]: arbiter of notability has opinion on arbiter of history.
Jimmy Wales is the founder of wikipedia, the encyclopedia that anybody can put an article on that any administrator can delete on the grounds of it not being “notable.” Proof of notability is typically determined by appearances or references to a topic in advertising and cartoons. So if you want to make something notable, rob a bank and buy an ad on a cartoon that wikipedia administrators watch. Or go back in time and insert it into an obnoxious compuserve chain letter from 1993.

The only arbiter I trust is Bjorn Skifs,

for, you see, he knows the score.

however, the recent release and big money ticket sales of Guardians of the Galaxy troubles me. All I knew about it prior to viewing was that there was a talking raccoon in it and that Bjorn Skifs got money for it. The film includes a character whose power comes from a secret cassette tape of corny radio hits from previous decades. Which is also what happens in the low budget, beat-top-gun-to-market schlockbuster Iron Eagle but people actually paid to see this one. One of the songs heavily featured is the 1970s song Hooked on a Phonics Feeling, which Bjorn Skifs sang the lead vocals on, and it became a number one america hit song when it was released.

Skifs only became the Arbiter in 1984, ten years later, and it did not bring him the same level of recognition due to the song being less horrible. By then he had spent most of his Hooked on a Feeling money on extra zippers, height implants for his boots and one night in Bangkok, so his powers of arbitration were kept under control.
But now, with his old song in a hit movie, he must be getting big royalties. I estimate that every time an advertisement for the film airs on television, Bjorn Skifs gets one cent. By this point he probably has enough money to see the movie for free. Maybe even a 3d screening. How is that fair? He thinks he is such hot stuff now, we will probably never get rid of him.


Oh, OH, like this is my fault? What a trick! Now any time I walk near a brick building I need to worry that Bjorn Skifs will be lurking about in a camouflage brown 1970s suit, ready to step out of a doorway with just one leg so I need to slightly adjust my path to get past him. And fleepsy forbid I want to go IN that doorway, right? You think just because you won the second annual Karamelodiktstipendiet (Gold Neckerchief) that you can do this to me? I am not going to stand for… what? Oh gosh. Oh dear oh gosh


With no one left to arbitrate our dispute, I had no choice but to do as Bjorn Skifs demanded, and take advantage of his sporting head start to seek safety. At some point I managed to lose him, by running past a building made of concrete, and took refuge in my stylishly dilapidated 1920s apartment for several days. I think… yes I think it is safe to go down now. He would have gotten me by now, surely, if he was going to.


And then Bjorn Skifs murdered me. The end.



July 12, 2011
Give all that razzmatazz the axe

Howdy. I will try and… aw beans I don’t even know anymore. If I put something new here then it will be here.

=========================================


I think there should be a movie in which He Man, The Smurfs, Fat Albert, Garfield, The Thundercats and every other cartoon all-star to the rescue accidentally enter a magic portal to New York City at the same time. Also present are Underdog, the Ninja Turtles, George of the Jungle, Hercules, Curious George, Alf, Crocodile Dundee, Thor, Clifford the Big Ol’ Dog, King Kong, the Capital One vikings and I don’t know Squiddly Diddly who dwell in The City anyway. In fact I think that must be what happened because otherwise every legal resident would be used to weirdos running around “not understanding” how things work and causing comic mischief that their convenient, less interesting normal person friends who mysteriously get equal billing and screen time have to cover up and pay for, and would have long since exhausted their ability to be amused at this schtick. Likewise, I expect that when the The Avengers movie happens the crony hangers-on to the various heroes will travel around in a van solving mysteries together so that they don’t all get separate time-wasting scenes.

Congratulations. You found a way to deprive the word “trilogy” of the last of its reputation solidifying clout without putting the word “prequel” in front of it.

I’m GLAD a smurf movie has traveled forth at last to give challenge. Between this and the chipmunks it’s about time we were doing soulless corporate hip ‘n edgy remakes of stuff that was shoddy and insufferable to begin with.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

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    old webpages
    Mall Meh...ness
    03-03-2007
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    02-22-2007
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    12-10-2006
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    07-01-2006
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    06-04-2006
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    04-24-2006
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    04-17-2006
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    04-08-2006
    This page is not about shoes.
    03-22-2006
    I hate shoes.
    03-11-2006
    something award related
    03-04-2006
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    02-26-2006
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    01-28-2006
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    07-20-2005
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    01/09/04
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    11/14/03
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    09/14/03
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    06/14/03
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    03/31/03
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    03/16/03
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    01/23/03
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    12/11/02
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    10/15/02
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    10/14/02
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    other things
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    05/28/10
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    09/17/04
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    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
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    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same