there isn’t enough bad news in the world so i made some of my own

you can click on it to try and get a better look if you need one, but you probably do not need one
sometimes i worry that it is not my place to criticize contemporary entertainment offerings since that is not made for me. But a long time ago it WAS, ostensibly, made for me, and i STILL didn’t like it

A scene perhaps not a whole lot more inspired than the envelope art sections in the magazines where I used to see these characters but probably more ambitious

If you recognize all or most of these there is something seriously wrong with you, but hopefully not enough for you to draw a similar picture.

i thought about having a contest to see who could name the most, but no reward I can offer would make up for the trauma you would have to go through in order to be able to do that

I had to exclude humans and post sega-saturn-era characters to ensure that I could eventually stop, though a few mild exceptions may have slipped through anyway.
I like a few of the characters and a few of the games even, not necessarily at the same time, but by and large they deserve what they get. They probably have some extra lives lying around anyway.

three substitutions occurred:

globmeister is easily the dorkiest claymate but i swapped in the mouse, instead since the only reason it exists was so the phrase “faster than a hedgehog” could be used in promotional material, Despite this speed being about as practical as a hedgehog’s at best, and usually less so. The gopher’s fire power is much more useful, from what i recall of claymates.
still i should have approached this with the expectation that most people who see this will not know most of the characters, and yet less will they know the hokey calculations behind any of the worthless beasts’ creations.

Initially I included both the terrible 1993 skunny that i wrote an appropriately terrible 2003 webpage about and also the 1995 “special edition” skunny that i did not learn of until years later. eventually i merged them into the left side figure so there would be space to draw in aero the acro bat. i decided that despite having insulted aero on previous occasions, again any person seeing the picture might well never see any other picture i ever made, and my disdain for aero and its games soars above most of the other characters, especially when i was refreshed on how much aero 2’s cut scene artist wanted aero to look like mickey mouse. and is certainly more LIKELY to be recognized than either skunny, so why have two of them? i also shortly afterward remembered that donk the samurai duck bears a D and that i could place it beside the other two to spell SAD. wonderdog has a W but while i can spell SAW and the stupid puppet from saw looks SORT of like one of these characters, I do not know it from its association with video games and so it would not qualify to appear.

bronkie health hero/the bronchiosaurus looks like croc because both of them are bare minimum creativity character designs. bronkie came several years before croc but who else knows that? the second health hero character “trakie” looks less like other better-known characters and so is more difficult to be mistaken for one, and so I added that one instead. In addition to removing the floating eyebrows from radical rex. As awful as they are, they interfere with the next lame dinosaur’s space.

i also used the blue character the one time that i played the game. i think the game is substantially better than aero the acrobat and the protagonist much less loathsome, even the one which looks like croc. Though it raises the question what my criteria is for inclusion, if I put characters I hate everything about amidst ones that I think were just stuck with a crummy company or set of directives. I didn’t add the cool croc twins either, and their game is probably worse than aero’s. Not because it is too limited in scope, as “zoom” also has extremely little for the player to do and I tossed that game’s moron in as soon as I remembered it existed.

And it wasn’t about space constraints because I added in billy the shell (Rmadillo), spanko, sally the blind cave salamander, who doesn’t even star in its own game, and psycho fox AFTER that. The only thing I can say for certain isARRHRHRHRHRGHH I’VE BEEN OUTFOXED

It is funny to think of people who never heard of me (or it) trying to identify the dope. All it does is cause problems.

this is not funny at all!

and LATER i added those dumb crocs anyway. it probably doesn’t need BOTH but I couldn’t choose one and had gotten it into my mind that they were really small so they seemed to both “fit.” Quik the Thunder Rabbit, while looking rather inflated in game still probably shouldn’t be so LARGE but its oversize was less apparent when there were fewer characters. Curiously i made both Brian the Lion and Oscar the [thing] smaller to accommodate WHIZZ, yet didn’t think of reducing quik. until now. oh fiddle dee dee.

after this i look forward to drawing more characters who do not have clown noses, buck teeth or eyes that touch

i suppose heart throbs is a better name than heart stabs, or myocardial murder munchies. Maybe “bleedies” would have worked

wah calm down please don’t shoot me with your alien ray gun, unfamiliar shouting person. This seems to indicate that your name is “Coco” but were that the case I can think of numerous other cereals that ought to have offered you endorsement deals.

not this one, though i would certainly welcome it if it meant keeping that creep bee away from My Kids.

i saw this plush effigy of the stop and shop “marty” robot in a bin with horrible elf legs decoration and thought they deserved each other.

apparently i have only mentioned marty one time, which may be too many. It is impossible to go to a stop and shop and not see one. what it does is slowly roll around the edges of aisles to try and block potential shoppers from entering or exiting. it searches for the tiniest, least consequential scraps of paper on the ground, then stops in place and starts calling out “Hazard, detected” forever until someone comes along and presses a hidden button on it that makes it shut up until it encounters another such obstruction. It is also able to trigger “clean up needed” announcements throughout the whole store if nobody presses the button soon enough. I presume its deployment has been used as justification for terminating employees. But fortunately these cheap pieces of trash ensure that a few additional sweat shop kids can earn three cents a day assembling them in the nearest country with no child protection laws. I think that is Trickle Down Economics.

I was surprised to see one in a half price bin since they tend to linger on designated shelves at full price after other similarly-themed merchandise would have been shuffled out of there and replaced with the next seasons’.

I call them “cheap” in the metaphorical sense. These full price pumpkin martspawn being from november 3 doesn’t PROVE my statement but apart from them christmas merchandise was already being rolled out in this section and there was no apparent inclination to get these out of there. They seem to be vying for the title of World’s Most Notorious Pumpkin


OH well pardon ME

other less prestigious positions may yet be available

these are going to be collector’s items one day. specifically, on wednesday, when a big truck drives around town gathering things like this, provided they have been deposited into the appropriate curbside vessel.

with that dorky facial expression and yellow helmet Dong Cheng seems more like Bong Cheng. I am not entirely surprised that his belt-inspired assassination attempt failed.

also it took me over nine years to mention this. despite a more html-named and internet-shrunken version appearing in the offline “nev” folder that i used in 2018, It is not in the online “nev” folder! What are you hiding from, Bong Cheng? nothing is beneath me now

ah ha sometimes i forget that a few other people still have standards

fortunately i do not feel like giving any right now!

elsewhere, Romance of the three kingdoms 8 is channeling my old phonics book

coincidentally, Lu Bu met Cao Mao in China, the same place where

Monki met Popeye, an event whose depiction may as of 2025 may no longer be considered bootleg, though presumably will continue to be nipple-legged.

isn’t it enough to beat up on these meeply little space aliens without stealing their handkerchiefs?


You’re not even going to let them wipe away their tears after you bop them into the air so they get stuck with their points in the ground?

If I had been consulted I would have insisted on giving them big smiles, stupid-looking ears and or bowties so players would understand that these creatures deserved this outcome.

See, how easy was that? Too easy. It does not deserve to succeed
WELL now that I have drawn and looked at this thing I realize it strongly resembles most of the moogles in the game. Why can’t I beat them up?

ARRRGF what WORTHLESS moogles! They already weren’t qualified to do a job and now they aren’t trying to! They are even named after how worthless they are! And now they are on my web page! I can’t handle this! I’m leaving.

Another day, another creepy yellow sky.

I am going to have to start wearing a helmet when I go outside now.

Assuming the subject event is “breathing,” how am I meant to avoid that which wouldn’t be worse than not avoiding it?

as someone who watched the manda lorian show when it was new and managed to enjoy it at the time despite the hype and my disapproval for the streaming platform being paid for by someone in my home, my immediate mental interpretation of the illustration on this object was “gremlin hiding in grimy toilet.” I don’t know what a tub tread is but it probably isn’t meant to be used in this location relative to the tub’s.

counter-intuitively, encanto being reduced to flat colors and simple shapes deprives it of a substantial quantity of disingenuous murderability, though certainly not being able to hear it also helps.

I don’t know what this is for either, but if a scent’s origin is a factory sealed package then it definitely isn’t natural. Maybe this is for scaring animals off your property.

an important rule for using currency portraits to advertise your business: make sure that if you’re going to crop within the existing dark backdrop so that it risks looking like hair and push the contrast so that the shadow under the nose risks looking like a mustache that these don’t combine to read as Hitler when seen from a distance.

yeah

also a good idea: don’t put a cartoon hitler in your official corporate logo. the “stars and stripes” 19th century bed attire isn’t fooling anyone (It also doesn’t makes sense since the stripes are inconsistently oriented between the sleeves and the middle part). even if you later remove the mustache and change the name of your company to “mattress firm” a few years later some creep on the internet is always going to remember.

I think it is telling that Sleepy teams up with two veterans of the Avengers but NOT Captain America. I understand it was mutual; Captain America objected to Sleepy ripping off his aesthetic and Sleepy objected to Captain America’s conduct during their previous meetings.

a suspicious drawing of sherry the talking mouse from several Ultima games abusing gargoyles with their own boomerang

I always liked the Gameboy game Ultima: Runes of Virtue. Attempts to directly port regular Ultima games to consoles felt unfinished and misguided, beyond even the degree to which the original non-sequel Ultima did, but Runes of Virtue was a specially crafted Gameboy action puzzle adventure perfect for the short play sessions that Gameboy was specially suited to.

DESPITE the very stupid dance that Sherry does at all times.

In frap it was only this past month that I saw enough of Ultima 6 to realize Runes of Virtue directly follows it, as back when I played Ultima: The False Prophet, its super nintendo port, I found it less unfair than Ultima Exodus, also a Nintendo system port and the only other game in the series I had tried, but still too unclear in its goals to get very far in. Nintendo versions hiding the title numbers didn’t help. BUT recognizing a bunch of the character names and concepts from Runes of Virtue helped me appreciate what I could of it slightly more than I would have otherwise. Certainly more than if I had known of and played the bewildering nes port of Ultima 5 instead.

Though it turns out to be the most accurate and playable Nintendo system Ultima port, that still was not enough for me to crack, apparently. Perhaps its most egregious offense of is presenting Sherry as an isolated-use item whose only purpose is retrieving a single essential item and optionally running under locked gates to steal other treasures or move switches, provided you think to try that,

and who inherits the hero’s neon green poison aura when deployed if you happen to have one available
rather than a fully functioning combat party member whose 1 strength allows her to only wield the likes of a boomerang, but with 27 dexterity, out of a maximum of 30, for deadly accuracy.

I actually have a legal copy of this game and apparently generated a character in it years ago, probably around the time that I regretted playing ultima 1, without going any further, and imagined it should be pretty easy to get to the same place the youtube video was at and take my own screenshots, since youtube pictures are ugly and the person whose video I took those from is an irritating bonehead anyhow. As hokey and annoying as Ultima is, I appreciate the progress it made across a few years and the influence even the shoddy ones had on better games, and reserve the right to laugh at them on my own terms, without condemning them. Some dork reading all the dialog aloud, stuttering half the time, and constantly interjecting snarky comments and complaining about how it is different and better in Ultima 7 makes it take longer and also me to hate him more than the video game he is suffering/cheating through.

But I was today unprepared for how irritating it also was to control Ultima VI even on its intended platform and how infrequently attacks connect even with high dexterity (though more so than without), so I could not easily recreate the scene. But I had already made the dumb drawing so felt obligated to try for longer than was sensible. I thought eh it can’t be THAT hard. I just need to kill ONE big gargoyle out here to have an unblurry picture of its body on the ground and then I can edit the text to say that Sherry did it.

sensing my unvirtuous inclination, an invisible doppelganger of the king Lord British with no property except raw scorn suddenly got a turn and crashed the game when I tried to enter a command and then stared at me disapprovingly until I forced dosbox to quit

I had a dream of seeing famous French singer/cartoon character “Carlos” directing some sort of production with a local musician– initially I understood to be someone who resembled MC Hammer and came up to me in the street earlier but later Carlos’ possibly fictional daughter called me on the telephone and said it was actually her– in a restroom of a Paris metro station, and wondering later if i should go back to get video proof. I assumed the dream implausible since Carlos got dead in 2008, before I took video regularly or went to France,

but apparently I was misinformed. You might think it is referring to someone named Carlo but it is in fact a real band made up of real bearded people that [au] pays [de] homage to Carlos and just doesn’t understand how ownership apostrophes work because French doesn’t use those and I guess they want this title to catch the attention of non-french speakers who have heard of Carlos and are curious about developments in his life (after or otherwise), all me of them.

with my curiosity fulfilled I don’t actually need to hear any of their performances. I may even have had a performance of Jope and Some dopes at the same venue and charged as much money. Also don’t read the page at that link. It is from 2004 and I have probably not read it since posting it but it looks complicated. It it just to indicate that I was briefly involved with a local performing arts event of dubious merit and effectiveness.

A clear sign Big-Y is a Connecticut and Massachusetts-only supermarket; if Kroger or Food Lion had a Kids Fruit Club that would be cited as proof of child grooming and republican governors across the nation would race to issue condemnations of it and proactively try to pass laws against it
naturally just [yesterday] I saw this

which IS in Connecticut, but the ludicrous conservative backlash to the name led to a bigger back-backlash that gave the store so much business that it ran out of stuff to sell. In Florida or Texas it might have had angry protestors outside demanding that the employees release fictional juvenile hostages and then a week later everyone inside and out would have covid.

still I am concerned that Big Y is getting so comfortable with these mutants

and worse, the mutants are getting comfortable themselves.

why don’t we just throw a beach party for them!

this is beside the point but I am fascinated that this game’s title screen is a redraw of its weird box-art; generally Japanese video games with weird United States box art don’t have their title screens updated to match it, except to alter logos. Also despite the weird cropping to allow the text to appear the picture overall looks less weird. although the tree is duplicated, the texture on the sand is questionable and the banana looks amidst a prophylactic demonstration, the artist treated the sun as a light source rather than another piece of fruit, and the figures themselves look less like there is stuff wrong with them, which to me is of foremost importance.

especially THIS creep, that looks less like it is surfing than “he went that-a-way!”ing while squatting behind a stair with bacon on it. Someone even thought it was good enough to put on the side of the box as well! It was not. There (here) it appears to be concerned about trademarking but unable to leave its post plugging a dike leak.

It might help to contrast this with the original Japanese box-art that is strikingly dissimilar to both its own title screen and this, but I decline to on account of it including a depiction of the grapes-themed boss foe that I find aesthetically unpleasant for reasons that are beyond the scope of this web page. Additionally that Japan Super Famicom box-art is dissimilar to the Japan game boy version’s box art, which would need to be contrasted with the fact of US editions of both using the same box-art despite differing in-game character designs, thereby explaining why the monkey only has a conspicuous tail in one of them, and all of these factors combine to really not be much help at all. Is there any expert in the field who COULD help?

oh WHAT?! I had no idea. Years ago this appeared on the zany video game quotes website, and I never knew or asked where it came from. I ASSUMED the graphic was for something remotely archie-related; the Archie Comics company published works on a few topics that weren’t strictly archie themed, such as ninja turtles and sonic t hedgehog. I didn’t guess it was in a video game magazine advertisement for a property other than those two, certainly not the monkey vs evil fruit game. Factually the sonic comics did not appear until after this but I had to look that up. I should not have had to look that up! This should never have happened! Had Archie been pondering video game comics before Sonic or does it merely mean Archie recommends throwing basketballs at food that has limbs and faces? Do I and Archie actually have common ground? What horror! Looking up the phrase “recommended by archie” now seems to indicate this endorsement was not offered to other products. Consulting the site’s founder likewise indicated the same source and that he had even scanned it himself.

and that is what me asking about it looked like. I did not really ask at 1:51am, however. Why is the time zone incorrect? And why did I think I needed to prove that I asked about this?

all in all a very stressful day! I had other pictures of stupid limbed fruit to show but now I am just upset.

Now I am more upset!

I don’t have to take this. I’m going home.

A strange vision from my child-era that returns too often, in the Police Academy cartoon series, which existed, at one point the weapon-enthusiast Tackle Berry participates in a typical mishap and gets a toilet plunger stuck over his mouth, preventing him from explaining the incident

n the next scene he was alone in a dungeon, just wearing underwear, possibly the only time he ever appears sunglassless, with a dorky smile, talking to a rat, and there the vision ends. I had NO CLUE then why imprisonment and your clothing confiscated was appropriate punishment for getting a plunger stuck on your mouth, and I still don’t, but it left in me a lingering fear of irrationally humiliating punitive measures

And I FOUND the episode, and the moment I remembered, but only dubbed into Ukrainian! So I can SEE what happens but not grasp the context, though I may possibly prefer this to the original audio otherwise.

It seems as if the evil special guest police-academite’s master plan is to shoot Tackle-BARRRY, as he pronounces it, with a plunger-launcher, and the good terrible cops arrive to try to prevent it from happening, and once it does happen they give up attempting to help, as if not having a plunger on his face was Barry’s only claim to freedom.

It does reveal that Tackleberry is offscreen placed into a cage on a pickup truck, after being plungered, but still has the plunger while in the cage, plus handcuffs, outside the bars, which meant he was in the cage and no longer a threat before he was cuffed, and therefore probably wasn’t a threat to begin with, and isn’t wearing a police uniform, so there isn’t official regalia to strip him of before sending him to prison

possibly to hell, if this frightful pointy-edged dog-nosed micro demonspawn is any indication, and therefore there is NO reason for his clothes to be off. It makes even LESS sense than my memory! As this video was uploaded in January 2020, I am surprised Vladimir Putin didn’t cite Ukrainian possession of bio-suction based armaments that incapacitate peace-keeping forces, remove their clothes and eventually cast them into the realm of eternal torment when justifying the Russian invasion this year.

The more I review and think about the footage the more it looks like Tackleberry is imprisoned, potentially damned, exclusively because of the plunger. Or worse, because his comrades couldn’t pull the plunger off his mouth. I don’t know why that’s a crime but it isn’t even his fault! Meepwhile nobody is shown escorting him off the roof or putting him in the cage, and the ones who failed to remove the plunger just watch him get driven away in the truck cage. I am left to think they caged Berry themselves after realizing they couldn’t remove the plunger and risked similar measures for continued defiance. But once Berry is in the dungeon with his unholy familiar the plunger is gone and he seems much more content. Maybe it is an enchanted plunger that cannot be removed unless your clothes come off with it. I am really not getting the closure I wanted on this.

Additionally, mostly unrelated, I can see in the little preview, and am un-inclined to view full size, BIG dollar-sign-symbol cash sacks but in at least one shot the animators casually mirrored one. It isn’t a photography error, like the cels were wrong-side-up, or a region-specific matter, like DiC inverting shots of school bus doors in Sailor Moon, since the other $ is normal. It just means the key animators at the east Asian animation studio that would have done most of the work on a show like this weren’t familiar enough with dollar signs to see when one was flagrantly incorrect, and the grunt animators who had to draw all the individual frames and color them in weren’t paid enough to point out a problem like that in the event any of them noticed. In fact the employees who change the signs at the New Haven Connecticut Popeyes and Walgreens can’t even be trusted to put the dollar sign up forwards 100% of the time. It just is not a priority for a lot of people.

I can’t find/am afraid to find photographic evidence, but here is a 2013 dairy queen sign with a backwards N. Not only that, the Ks are upside-down. I can’t believe I don’t have friends with my superhuman powers of fault-finding.

according to my file names , this is the other side of the sign, with the same backwards N! And YOU might say this is more than likely the same side of the sign, so I shall point out that the B is ALSO upside down, but only on ONE side!

ha ha HA! Ha, ha ha HA, ha HA ha, hee ho heh.

Getting back to the main digression, I do not believe the surprise backwards S front and center on a television screen is what traumatized me into fearing the shape and being wary of non-backwards S-es with certain types of curvature and thickness, else that would be what I remember.

It was often hard to track specifics of thin moving shapes like that on blurry cathode ray screens, at least for me, which is why I never noticed the one Whirlwind carries around when running to the right and THROWS at the heroes as a weapon in Captain America and the Avengers even though I played that game every time I saw it, and that was released three years after the Police Academy cartoon supposedly started airing, and hopefully also after it had stopped airing. In fact I never noticed until today that Whirwind isn’t even really carrying the bag so much as having it glued to one of his fists. The backwards bags in the cartoon were bigger but I probably didn’t have cable at the time and potentially saw it with staticy signal distortion over it. This is important.

some things are more important, though.

my life is screwy lately. not aggressive neighbor nation shooting bombs at my soviet-era concrete housing brick then telling me I am free to leave if I don’t like it but shooting at me as I try to leave screwy, but enough to make me confused. I didn’t get to my computer until 7pm yesterday, which through the simultaneous unannounced updating of the firefox internet perusing device and thunderbird email sorting mechanism plus a bizarre disk hiccup left me unable to access email nor be permitted to recreate the account through which I accessed it,

and then was greeted with this once the website browser finally decided it was ready to load pages.

There is a cartoon character that I cropped out of the image. it will appear in here later and I don’t want to look at it, much less in two places.

This is such an embarrassing attempt to pander to the adult child with money demographic that is hard enough coexist with when there isn’t media aping it. Or SHOULD I say “panda-ing” to and “foxing” it no.

Products do not have emotions and brands do not live “w/” anxiety. They do not “live” at all and they do not have feelings. Meanwhile anxiety has always existed, and just because people didn’t always personally introduce themselves with “um hi um gee I uhhh have anxiety I guess? ha ha blush norly sorry not sorry omg” doesn’t mean it’s new in people or in media.

Likewise Disney did not in 2022 invent Asians.I welcome non-Anglo heroes, but not every time there is one having that be incessantly pointed out like Look how BLACK this princess who turns into a frog is! and how ASIAN this quirky nerd who turns into an A.fulgens is! And how LATIN this grimacing also nerd’s whole magic house family is! And hey isn’t this huge-mouthed perpetually barefoot kid who turns into a fish just SUPER Mediterranean?

If you want to normalize multi-cultural identities in film you have to let them be normal, and let their presences speak for themselves.

yes I know barefoot kid is officially a fish person who turns into a human but in the end it doesn’t make much difference. these characters all relate to the world and other people the same way and aspire to the same things as all the white and casually non-white characters from American cartoons before them who may or may not spontaneously become animals if they aren’t already. And consequently I don’t relate to any of them, which allows me to see that each new iteration giving press-jobs to themselves over how different they are as gratingly disingenuous. AND ALSO, as indicated by the word being circled in red earlier, their RELATEability is their greatest asset. We don’t make movies for people who can’t relate to our characters because people buy merchandise of relatable characters, not good stories.

I do not know if the latest plot’s transformation is triggered by deliberately improbable circumstances like in Ranma or emotions like The Hulk or violent trauma like in The Pagemaster, and I don’t want to know, and am glad that I have not been made to know against my will by anyone in my company so far. But that is only because my niece for the time being is more interested in watching shorter-form braindead videos on her personal tablet than feature films on the big television box that I witness more easily. I increasingly have blocked disney-themed keywords on twitter-sorts of sites as it saturates more and more discourse space it isn’t entitled to, and maybe firefox picked up on that, both wanting to get disney bucks and prevent anyone from being unaware of it.

irefox isn’t bothering to lie about not advertising (apart from boasting about how “independent” it is), i suppose, with no attempt to explain how this trash is justified, unlike back in november when it promoted its VPN at me and presumably other users, and accompanied that with a message about how it doesn’t promote products. it did not attempt to convince me that promoting a disney movie is not promotion, but that could also be due to the general hubris concept that EVERYBODY likes Disneyandpixare so NOBODY WOULDN’T want to see an ad for it!

because LOOK at how GOSH DARN ADORABLE it is! except it isn’t even that. its face is tiny but its head is huge, its body is chubby and I literally can’t tell if this is the front or the back since it is so amorphous.

it looks like dom deluise’s character from the Fievel movies, except without discernible feet at the ends of its limbs because pixar artists are more inclined to fetishize human feet. The only thing I like about the newer character is that it doesn’t look like zootopia, and that is really more of a hate less sort of assessment.

when I was sixish years old a friend of my father gave my family a bunch of bootleg movies on vhs, including An American tale, but it didn’t have the opening credits and I couldn’t read anyway so for years I had no idea it was called that, and I still prefer not to call it that since the word “tale” always bothered me, even when not being punished into “tail” whenever there is an animal-related concept involved. Every episode of “are you afraid of the dark?” was “the tale of…” something or other. Even as a child unconcerned with what anyone else thought about anything the word and its pretentious air irked me.

the only way this film would defy expectations would be if it wasn’t annoying, and it already is. Defying stereotypes by announcing you are doing that is already a stereotype. Ever since princess Jasmin did a pole vault and then I had to look at how SURPRISED Aladdin was and hear the dumbest kids in the room who already saw the movie 50 times say “I’m a fast learner” in synchronization, Disney has been pushing this “look at our TOUGH and competent ladies!” narrative without simply letting them BE tough or competent, and still selling merchandise emphasizing their prettiness foremost. And much like with the racial composition of the characters, if you simply let that BE normal you won’t rile up the rightwing bro brigade to try and ruin the product based on how “woke” they perceive it to be. But I think that is also deliberate, to some degree, like with the shoddy ghostbusters movie some years back, or Black Panther or Captain Marvel. It’s GREAT publicity if you can prove a bunch of morons are trying to pre-emptively censor your product, and also allows you to dismiss any legitimate criticism as coming from that moron bunch. I am not a moron bunch! I am but one moron. Evidently. I think I had mild covid in january and apparently it is related to “grey matter reduction” so I am stupid now, but still not enough to be fooled by disney.

ALso don’t ask me what the gwok a vpn is because I am still not sure despite evidently first trying to find out in 2015. I couldn’t even figure out what the letters stood for. Virtual Private Network but that is no longer relevant to my situation. Using one is supposed to protect you from being caught if you pirate stuff or be tracked by marketers trying to charge you extra money for what you acquire more legitimately, but then you have to pay to get the vpn, and everybody selling one is vague and unclear about every step of it, often using mismatched figures and paper towel math to explain their prices and or requiring longterm subscription agreements, and it comes across like scam marketing in itself. ESPECIALLY when the company selling the vpn is also getting money from the company controlling most of the media and marketing, including subscription services. Imagine you use the firefox vpn to download the “turning red” film –i won’t, hence this scenarior being imaginary– the dollars probably go to the same place, and then they’ll also try to fine you $5000 for piracy in the event the vpn isn’t the magnificent sorcery it purports itself to be.

After I started writing today’s page, firefox stopped working entirely, with this error among others, like it thinks I’m going to apologize and say “wait the image wasn’t THAT bad, come back, please?” I expect it already has its own angry post about how it blocked another hater and it doesn’t even care about all the haters it keeps mentioning. It reminds me that I started using firefox years ago after netscape was purchased by the america online company, and it become bloated and unusable. Since all software is bloated now and Disney for the moment does not desire to own firefox, which is evident through disney not already owning firefox, it settled for simply becoming unusable.
I am for the moment using a very similar browser called Libre Wolf that fulfills the basic criteria of displaying webpages and having a stupid animal name. If it goes well then I will absolutely not say so.

thanksh narc. I’m embracing my true self by not trusting opinions from strangers with memes and declining to watch it while I yet have the freedom not to.

/////////////////////////

addendoy for march 13:
entirely unsought bits of information on twitter from people who say things like “not gonna lie” and “bro” indicate that menstruation is what causes the gimmick transformation this time, hence the “red” in the title, and isn’t it PROGRESSIVE that d-d-d-DIZNEE would DARE to do this? Yeh whatever similarly unrequested data indicates that disney declined to release a Ghibli movie from 1991 that it had rights to over the film having menstruation references in it. Because if Disney doesn’t do something first it doesn’t count. Meanwhile the obnoxious firing squad of bullet points firefox showed me did not include “bleeds from vulvic orifice” and I have to see

this grating smugster stupidimposed on my roku front page, trying to get kids to watch it, with no indication that sort of topic is going to come up, and if anyone in my family is going to have a problem with that it would be my mother foremost, and not “men” as twitter’s insufferablest disney shills prefer to gripe. Whatever I am, that is content to dislike this at any time of the month. I don’t consider the mere allusion to blood as unpleasant as having to hear and often “see” flatulence in every cartoon since Ren & Stimpy 30 years ago but I’m not going to praise big D for doing it either as all signs indicate the production is utterly typical apart from that.

I am too tired to proofread this but you probably won’t notice since it details a series of messes anyway.
////////////////
Oh right LAST time I mentioned that none of the worked-over pieces have elpse (green imp) in them. It simply was the case that none of them particularly suited elpse, in the coloring of the figure or the demeanor of the scene. I was informed shortly after that, the my-website-breaking-garbage from august is still lingering in the form of an all white page with unreadable text, but only for SOME people, none of them me.

I have been entirely unable to determine the source of or fix that problem. on the twittor website I requested if any persons who literally had nothing better to do, might glance at the front page and report if it was broken to them. I quite FORGOT that the post at the top of the page could be interpreted by a casual reader looking for something to take issue with as saying “the people I know on twitter are freeloading louts” so without getting into more details, I can say the site is still as broken as then BUT not to everybody and there also now a scene to redraw that suits elpse much better!

not necessarily this one; it may be worth giving elpse some stupid jewelry or changing the pears into something stupider but not harder to draw than pears.

or simply remove some of the terrible effects so that the dope I drew in with them temporarily turned off is no longer concealed by them
OTHERWISE I have not yet had cause to make over one that was mostly green, I suppose elpse could theoretically also go into that.

it would be simple to just put nemitz into all of them, but some scenes would not be applicable since they already HAVE nemitz or worse in them, as I needed a second figure to be receiving or granting insult, and I REFUSE to have two nemitzes in one picture. OR the central character is morbidly obese, or the central character is a vague mass of “glitched” body parts that I should never have agreed to draw even for money, much less none.

Grahamted, elpse has been unusually large in size the last few times I finished a page of the comic strip, but that isn’t something I particularly enjoy drawing nor want to indicate is a permanent, pleasant, commemoration-worthy state for elpse. WHICH IS not to say that nemitz is pleasant but I enjoy getting annoyed at how stupid nemitz looks. What I don’t enjoy is people with a sexual fetish for something I drew incidentally assuming I share that with them and encouraging their fetish buddies to acknowledge my efforts for that component alone and talking to me like I also fetishize it in defiant obliviousness of 978% of every other drawing or sentence I have ever posted or any most rudimentary concept of etiquette, then sending me random videos of fat people or pictures of themselves wearing fat suits in direct messages. Which hasn’t happened, for that, and I prefer to keep that aspect of my existence consistent.

this came about back when I attempted to post drawings on the reddit website in 2020. the person was threatening to commission me to draw something but wanted me to say that I would “have fun” with soles-of-feet-focused imagery and “experiment” with it, and I would not, because that isn’t fun for me and experiments mean extra work for no money and also require a base interest which I lack. And so the person stopped responding. Which is probably for the best since I was not going to draw anything this person really liked except inadvertently. plenty of artists in this game do so regularly and do not care if their customers are displeased, but I care about everything, so I prefer to avoid it, and more so I prefer to avoid the consequences of not making certain such customers know how much fun I am not having as soon as possible.

This is actually the rubber clothes humanoid again, before he got to that part. I should have gotten out long before getting there. That garbage went on for days. I was worried about losing a customer, and was intrigued by the weirdness, besides. In the end I realized I didn’t want this person as a customer if he wanted us to be friends, or even casual acquaintances, or under any other circumstances.

that actually isn’t the end. he told me he deleted me as a contact at least twice, and then shortly after I mentioned him here, which was itself more than a year from this chat bit, he sent me, with no other words or context, a creepy semianimation of a bunch of partially melted naked bootleg backstreet boys with the text “so disappoint” printed on it, which I simultaneously wish I had saved and am relieved I will never have to see again. then I found it anyway.

wow you sure showed me with this scornful half-literate slime orgy


unfortunately at the time I did not understand.
also vitally important, regarding a completely different person also mentioned on that old page I just linked to

should have been


but it evidently wasn’t, for three whole years, since I hate the word in quotation marks so much that I put it in quotation marks and forgot that quotation marks abort the text string and cause any additional text to go nowhere. although i dislike now how wide this picture of it is on my screen!

but don’t worry, anybody who can see this page already isn’t coming back!
frumblegrumble the jackhasslers who decided 20 years of webpages need to retroactively be made smaller to fulfill the whims of willfully inferior technology want ME to “fix” something? Yes they certainly do. Anything they can’t break from their end by deprecating bits of code or requiring more and more “security certificates” on a site running 0 advertisements and off-site scripts that continues working just as it should they are going to try and guilt trip me into dismantling myself.

I know it’s not my fault! It never is! But it’s always my problem. Yet I am not bitter and covetous, and I gladly share it with you.

Howdy. Mystic Ark here. But you can call me Mark. Now i know what you’re thinking: “hey you’re not THE mystic ark, you’re just some weird giant face above a doorway on the box art.” that is true, but it still synecdochely makes me THE face OF Mystic Ark. And now you’re probably thinking “okay whatever synecdochebag” which shows even more ignorance on your part since synecdoche isn’t actually pronounced like that! But we’re getting off-topic. In fact I hadn’t even introduced a topic because your presumptuous arrogance prevented me from doing so. you know what, I don’t even want to talk to you.

You can talk to that tiny lady coming through my doorway to stab you. what that’s a man? man. I can never tell with Japanese sword-grasping hero types. Yeah I came out (not the GAY way, I’m no homo) in 1994, it was WEIRD for men to wear skirts, okay? In my personal opinion men belong in trousers and women belong in the kitchen, ha ha know what I mean? Now don’t ask me what the game Mystic Ark is about, I don’t speak foreigner. I got to the part with the kitty pirates but couldn’t figure out where to go next. Too bad I never met any of those naked little fairies on my shoulders phwoar know what I mean? Wha? there’s been an English translation patch since 2009? Well of course I didn’t know that, I’m a goldurned FACE on a gate. I don’t get out much. Also I don’t support copyright infringement. If you downloaded a Mystic Ark rom I WILL send our lawyers, with swords, through my gate, to get you, and if you patch the rom with unofficial content that’s even illegaler pal, in which event you can NOT be my pal. You can’t even be my NTSC. ha ha ha yeah too inside, I know. You don’t get to laugh because you aren’t my pal. In fact you can’t even call me Mark anymore.

hey calm down, Kitty P! Like take a chill pill homeslice, know what I’m sayin’? Because I sure don’t know what you’re sayin’! Fa ha ha. This is the best entry ever on this website.

I was stabbed in the left shoulder today and so far all I have to show for it is this shoddy video of the shoddy video on display at the place where it occurred.

The only good thing about this is that since it is government and local whoever made this was probably paid little to nothing for it. OR some money laundering firm was paid way, way too much for it.

there is a belief among some highly dubious people that the only thing stopping us regular folk from getting vaccinated in larger numbers is a lack of empty, cutesy encouragement from casual acquaintances and commercial entities.

A frame isn’t going to ‘inspire’ anybody. They either want to be vaccinated and are waiting or don’t want to be vaccinated and would need a chain of miracles endorsed by current US president and alt-right pope Trump to change their minds and still might not if they hear George Soros got a vaccination too. In fact this sort of wimpy-appeal peer pressure is much of the reason they are so obstinately anti-everything courteous. You need to employ sarcastic macho bully smirkle-jerk peer pressure to convince them to get vaccinated, and you won’t, because those are the people with a financial stake in sowing distrust for science and or social decency.
If the latest center for disease control guidelines stating that masks are no longer necessary after vaccination aren’t in error then that is all but validating anti-vaccine, anti-mask advocates who said it wasn’t necessary to begin with since the plandemic was started on purpose by China and also a hoax and imaginary. Just because the new mask rules only apply to people who have been vaccinated and only two weeks afterward mean nothing because you can’t distinguish those who have from who haven’t without enacting the sort of measures that Trumpian sorts have been warning their congregants about “liberals” imposing ever since ever. Even if there was a vaccine to help prevent further ideological disease you would never get anyone who needs it to take it. I suppose that gets a bit into the same sort of realm as people with autism objecting to it being called a disease and not wanting it to be “cured.” Which is ironic because anti-vaccinators believe it would be totally eradicated by not vaccinating anyone against it.

Also, my profile picture has a dope in it and at best will only ever inspire any friends to re-evaluate our friendship. I would approve of framing this only in the sense of blaming the dope for someone else’s crime but there are few crimes it is smart enough to plausibly be accused of doing, apart from possibly acting as a consultant for the decision to implement animated anthropomorphic vaccine bottles, in the form of not saying “no” when asked if it was a good idea.
I other newts I have yet to experience any negative side-effects from either vaccination dose, even though I have seen remarks and memery bordering on fetishization of the idea of experiencing such effects. And I certainly had people worrying on my behalf about the immediate consequences of my second dose. Having to drive to, from and in Old Saybrook on multiple occasions has been the worst of it, and was so before I even got the shot. I think a lot of this is like msg-paranoia, in that the more people fear it the more susceptible they become to it. Which is preferable to fearing the vaccine entirely I suppose. Being afraid of dumb things and expressing those fears makes people feel important and helpful, I suppose.

I do not at this time require the assistance of cowboy birdmen.

I do have a bit of a headache, which IS one of the stated side-effects, but headache is also a side-effect for everything else, among them typing in a bright white text window in an otherwise unlit room for several hours. I also have more vaccine-related remarks and pictures to show and hopefully won’t.

//an addendor, I have had a steadily increasing ache in the targeted arm, and did also the first time, but I consider that less of a side than a direct effect of having a metal spike plunged directly into a muscle.

///addenorior: almost immediately after disabling the computer and going to my bed (an actual bed as of early march and I am yet uncertain if I prefer it to the mattress lump) I developed fever-like symptoms, but nothing I would have mentioned under ordinary circumstances. Including vague, uncomfortable body temperature and dreaming about lying in place precisely where I was while thinking about lying there, at best, and otherwise believing I was in an incredibly tedious factory facility dedicated to endlessly sorting the contents of my nasal passages. I was several times jolted awake by the imagined sound of non-existent text messages. Now six hours after the initial illness I feel relatively un-ill, and my arm doesn’t even ache anymore. However I am re-experiencing a general difficulty sleeping that was occurring months prior to the latest shenanigorps and is closer to being a matter of personal concern. Now I just want to eat until I get tired enough to fall asleep again and ideally do so properly. I won’t but I sure could.

What rinkety dinkety fisher price gallows, that frame should be made of bright purple plastic. The intent is certainly here but for lack of a better word the execution is not. I understand being afraid of the goons who set this up but they are buffoons and will never win. Seeing this thing makes me want to start guessing letters, not submit to trumpdumb. I am more afraid of my obsessive compulsion from the center beam being just SLIGHTLY too short to cover the tops of the two support beams than from what any of the people who assembled them that way are going to do to me. Although to be fair i am white and did have a christmas tree in my house.

There are people on the internet’s favorite websites and in commercial news reporting who want everyone to be afraid and paranoid all the time. When people are afraid they make terrible decisions and lose their ability to look after themselves. I encourage you to be aware and cautious but not afraid. especially not of

this guy, “the Q Shaman,” and his sickly dwarf ward sidekick. Q not for “questionable life choices,” but “q anon,” a gang of angry mostly/entirely white men who bond over their white manliness and a belief that the us government is run by pedophiles. i am supposed to believe this dork who wears fur and no shirt in public and openly chums it up with nazis and confederates is deeply concerned about pedophilia. When I found out his name was Q Shaman I thought he should have purple fur and a bell on his head and be marching on Sesame Street. I assume he went to Washington DC instead because Mantaur was busy.

It is a bit like those fake political parties in England, but those are just rich idiots wasting their own money on being ridiculous and being fully aware of how ridiculous they are.

They believe in the words of someone called “Q,” someone who is anonymous and therefore could actually be anybody at any time and never has to be accountable.

Either this guy is doing it all as a gag and it is all meaningless and nobody should take him seriously or he is completely serious and insane and nobody should take him seriously. He was only arrested today after I started writing this, for his part in breaching the capitol, three days after doing it, and two days after calling the Federal Bureau of Investigation himself and then openly disclosing in this interview that he had done so, like he is proud of that. The question is not why did it take three days to get him, but why he wasn’t in jail before that. I don’t know if he constituted a legitimate threat to members of the government but he is an insult to all intelligence.

It reminds me of some forum I was on in 2008 called “coti” where I could never tell if anyone was kidding or cruel, and they could always retroactively claim cruelty was kidding. I was banned from that forum for saying brief silly things that were only tangentially relevant. And THIS guy whose every single post was 80% the same enormous “joke” images that were absolutely never relevant was very much pushing for it while promising payment of improbable fellatio in return and treated like the more rational party. I like pretending he went on to become a decent person.

I also to this day subconsciously imagine he literally IS this guy, who now officially wouldn’t look out of place wandering around the US capitol, even though ostensibly he was making fun of the fact that this guy exists. But you can’t tell and no one will tell you and if you ask they’ll call you a faggot and get you banned and the friends you followed there will let them, retweet their gross webcomics at you later, possibly marry and start patreon-begging youtube series with them.

oh to donovan’s reef with THIS guy. I wasn’t even TALKING about him.

Let’s be fake positive fluff-suited balrogs and get paid for it

Really what was I EXPECTING? I know better now. I may not have done anything with that knowledge, and the imbecile dressed like Legends of the Hidden Temple got scorned and arrested without my input, but I know precisely why he and people like him irritate me so much. It goes so far beyond and below Trump. People of that sort are essentially nihilists. They believe in nothing, and don’t care if someone gets hurt. They crusade against evil they have no proof of while taking willful creators of evil as their jolly companions.

It is sadly old news by now that every closed institution is rife with sexual predators. The us government has been particularly bad at concealing lewd misdeeds. I don’t believe that anybody who supports Donald “Grab ‘em by the pussy, You can do anything” Trump beyond all shadow of reason is fighting for the rights of the oppressed. After the 2016 election I believed in learning to live with Trump as president and waiting to see if he really would screw it up as badly as people said he would, so maybe it seems disingenuous for me to quote something he said BEFORE the election, but in the full context we can see that everything bad he did before the election he also did after the winning the election, and he did it worse after losing the other election. It is preposterous that anybody would put themselves at risk trespassing in the capitol building just to get social media clout. It is ALSO preposterous that it only took THIS for Trump’s fans inside the government to finally turn on him.
in 2016 I thought they would refuse to back Trump, at the risk of splitting the party, but the party and winning were all that mattered, and are still all that matter. Everybody rushing to condemn Trump NOW who were trying to get him elected and RE-elected do not deserve any more congratulations than the forklogans with secessionist flags who are only more guilty an account of not recognizing that the tide has turned. I will forgive real people who show contrition, but I don’t think many, if any, of Trump’s former enablers have, will have, or ever have about anything. Least of all Mitch Mc-will-never-be-Gonell, safely re-elected and free to put forth the appearance of decency short term. People like that have done more damage than Trump; Trump only made their game more obvious and decided to stop playing it properly after he lost. He pledged to drain the swamp and instead wallowed in it for four years, and then the swamp drained him after he formally invited the tar pit to join the fun.

A swamp is in fact a crucial wet-land habitat for animals and plants and I hate to associate it with the likes of Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz who would gladly see all real beneficial swamps replaced with walmarts, so “good” I will probably stop hearing that particular phrase used for a while.

I would also welcome never hearing about “celebs” or what they want that they don’t already have ever again.