everyone’s favorite moraff monster (since it is the first monster stored in the game and most people have no knowledge and thus no preference about the topic this ends up being the default and therefore overwhelming winner), the [giant] garbage can

when i arrived at the topic of how to handle the matter of drawing a new one i abruptly remembered a picture of the shakespeare character falstaff who seemed to have similar dimensions and presumed demeanor to the trash can. the result scarcely resembles a trash can but it didn’t before either and at least has a lid now.

although i might underestimate his abilities; i understood falstaff to be a drunken boasting imbecile but this generic unnecessary website that came up when i tried to find a high resolution version of the image assures me that Falstaff is a “public domain super hero.” Or maybe that is referring to the page-assistant on account of an uncanny ability on display to put up with Falstaff and resist the urge to run him through with his own sword.

regardless of staff-feller, the rubbish bin’s file name is ‘mon_garbage.png’ which makes me think of “bonjour mon grande garbage” and this certainly looks frencher now despite paris having no public garbage cans at all when i visited due to worries about terrorists hiding bombs (or dopes) in them so instead were just plastic bags attached to rings. but that would not do for the moraff receptacle that is both proud of its exterior and secretive about its contents. Or at least that was the case at one time:

little knownst to anyone except those he told about it because he wanted them to know, Moraff, less than two months ago, decided to do his own remake of “Moraff’s Revenge,” the game that game before Moraff’s World, the game before Dungeons of the Unforgiven (the one i am making new pictures for a remake of), in chat-gpt, because that is what he is into now, and it even has a creepy ai rainbow garbage can, mercifully not ainimated (and also somehow clipping into the floor just slightly). But we can at least see inside it and now observe no conventional garbage at all, just a differently-unpleasant-looking mouth interior whose perspective is at odds with the rest of itself. supposedly Mr. Moraff’s goal was to recreate the game without telling the robot it was that game specifically or that he was moraff. i had no intention of taking inspiration from this… this output, since the boots were very important to me, but I never played moraff’s revenge enough to know that it even had the ding dang garbage cans in it and i wouldn’t have been able to tell they were rainbow since that is a cga game and EVERYTHING looks ugly and oversaturated in that. so he described this thing to a robot and there is no way it could have known about the rainbow unless he insisted it be colored that way in 2026, so he absolutely always intended for that to be the case.

I am told that he is a “techno-communist” these days and does not believe in intellectual property. And to think i was once worried he might have found out that i was very briefly offering the full version of dungeons of the unforgiven for download on my insulting webpage! Maybe he did find out and simply did not care. However that might also have happened AFTER he stopped outwardly selling his games and was just allowing other companies to presumably pay him for the right to sell the games so maybe it makes no financial difference to him if they are purchased or not at this point.

But why am i working so hard to make new graphics for a game that probably not many people will play, branded with the name of someone who doesn’t care if it is ever finished? Because it has a tangible end and will be published in a form slightly elevated from anything i have done previously. Even with hardly anything going for it, more is going for it than usual. And i like to think it has more going for it than it did in 1993 since Jimbly has set it up so that players can choose how unfair they want the game to be and also change their mind about that at any time. There is also no artificial intelligence involved in the [re]creation of the game. I don’t know how much real intelligence is involved either but I certainly attempt it on my end.

while the alternative makes everything around it stupider so hypothetically i should seem smart at some point, even if no one that i become smarter than will notice. They aren’t paying attention to me anyway, too focused on the robot telling them how smart they are, so it is enough that i get some satisfaction out of it, perhaps.

while trying to find where i had saved the picture of the chat-gpt garbage can i found this picture that i saved in march. i was less concerned with whatever podcast than: oh no friggin BABYLON BEE and AXE COP are connected to the same people. and then today i continued: axe cop, i remember, being less a comic strip than a sequence of illustrations of random stuff happening with no connection to anything before or after it or the title character and the author kept making sure to point out that his six year old brother wrote it, like that excused it. I exclusively encountered it via hyperactive resplorging dorkos on livejournal gushing over how “badass” it and “Snakes on a Plane” sort of trash was and i guess at some point it was made into a tv series and i thankfully had fewer dorkos in my life at that point to try and inferior-pressure me into watching it, but periodically i wonder what the deal is with some annoying celebrity or actor person and just about every one of them has had a voice credit on it.
All the irritating garbage* that i want no part of bleeds together and never truly goes away.
*this statement was in the file name which resulted in it showing up in my image serch

And the problem with babylon bee is that effective satire depends on your core premises not being false or appealing to and favoring the interests of the worst, typically wealthiest, power-abusing creeps on the planet, even if “the bee” as those in the no call it, tries to make a show of targeting such people occasionally.

Look this proves we’re not fascist crapaganda! We waited until McConnell was definitely not dead to make fun of him with a weak ad hominem insult that doesn’t criticize the damage he has inflicted on the world while smugly smiling! tee hee ho It is gentle ribbing at worst toward folks who would rightly have their ribs shattered and fed to crocodiles and oops i accidentally wrote another installment of axe cop. we just need to make the victim “apolitical” so that flagrantly political shills will agree to provide voices.

and flob forbid you try to go to their website to get a recent example because you felt like you “owed” it to them to have evidence when you complain about them and you’ll get to see this jd-vance looking beardo with a maga-coded t shirt in front of a background trying to tie itself to when Stephen Colbert was funny pledge-driving at you. You can’t even say no without saying thanks also.

here this is the one story on their bluesky page. they reposted it several times pretending they had no idea why their account was getting blocked by people over a transphobic joke 3 decades past its expiration date and then they gave up posting further. i don’t assume the axe cop dork wrote this but he would have known it ran stories like this when he joined up.

unless he was taken against his will; apparently he has had comics published by a company called “slave labor graphics.”

I first learned about babylon bee when my older brother linked to a story from it on his twitter page, maybe a bit before he lamented the lack of lynchings amidst the january 6 2020 shenanigans, and more recently told our mother that he was starting his own religion with chat-gpt. that makes sense; ai-generation is also a scam pretending to be magic that destroys/further destroys everything it touches.

hence this local company with a flagrantly ai-logo (note the inconsistent amounts of fingers) despite it being something extremely easy to draw advertises jesus in just as many spots. ai absolves you of responsibility for work and jesus absolves you of responsibility for destroying the world with data centers that fuel the ai that you use to cheat terribly, and both somehow tell you that you’re right no matter how awful you are or who your awfulness hurts. I try to ensure that my own awfulness hurts me more than anyone else.

I assume this similarity is deliberate but i do not know why it would be. i never watched double dare and thought “i really want to put that into my mouth.”

this similarity i assume is not deliberate

thank pog somebody scanned this book and put it on the internet; i was suffering mentally more than usual after spending an hour getting to this spot in the game from my nearest save-state and seeing the text say

“young owlbear” when i was CERTAIN it had always said “owlbear young” and that was the main reason the coconut was funny to me. I must have spent a lot of time doting on the generously oversized and overinformative instruction heap. it probably gave away TOO much of the game but sega genesis users in my home were more than capable of being terrible at it anyway and needing to develop sort of cheaty strategies to get through it.
if i couldn’t verify this i might have had to tell the story of how my younger brother (yes the alex jonesy one) while driving an automobile wanted to play audio off of a neil young cd he had just purchased but only at that point realized he had somehow bought a neil diamond cd instead and rather than returning it to the store for a refund or exchange he simply threw it out the window.
I also was particularly afraid of owlbears a long time ago.

Not CAVEbears, which use 80% of the same graphic tiles, have more hit points and do more damage and don’t have comma young versions that are easier to beat, but ALSO don’t have huge insect eyes and owl beaks of no practical value above standard bear facial features.

the authority can’t be THAT good if “unusual” is the best adjective it could muster. An unusual bear would be green or wear a silly hat! it would NOT have a beak!
and it is funny to consider that they are only 40 pixels tall since the first person view ends up filling most of the screen with a text descriptions of stuff the game isn’t prepared to show. Monsters also float around in space instead of standing on the ground, which has the unsettling effect of making them MORE scary. They are like foam dinosaurs in a bathtub. Which yes indeed at one point of my life i was legitimately terrified of inadvertently touching. I like that as scary as the tiny bouncing owlbears young were they could not touch me. That was an adequately immersive experience. Although this now reminds me that i had to stop playing Puggsley’s Scavenger Hunt because it creeped me out so much to see the float-bobbing rubber ducks hit a wall and abruptly reverse and start float bobbing in the opposite direction without being animated to turn around even though video game monsters have been doing that for most of their lives. Similarly with the leaves in the tree level of Prehistorik Man, even though they work much the same way as the raccoon leafs in super mario bros 3, i guess because they are larger and keep getting tossed back up instead of falling off the screen. borf i should not write this sort of thing at 3am now i won’t be able to sleep, thinking about those creepy self-mirroring leaves and ducks that apparently remembering being afraid of foam dinosaurs that bouncing owlbears remind me of remind me of.

battery? this guy? he looks like he has negative muscle mass. he looks like a vampire who drinks V8. he looks like a melting onion. he looks like an Xbox npc
he looks like goth peter pan. he looks like eddie munster on heroin. he looks like a tim burton protagonist. he looks like whoever michael jackson was trying to look like. he looks like bulimic danhausen
he looks like my older brother before getting glasses
he looks like a scarecrow hairdresser. he looks like angsty chris kattan. he looks like a tetsuya nomura placeholder character. he looks like he would do anything for love but won’t do that.
he looks like a robert palmer dancer

i don’t have sympathy for mysogonistic twerps whose only accomplishment is having a y chromosome, especially ones who encourage followers to smash their jaw bones with hammers in order to achieve a more arbitrarily desirable appearance. someone who looks like a pimp from ferngully, who looks like a mannequin at sears, who looks like tiramisu, someone who looks like someone shia labeouf grew a beard to avoid being mistaken for has no business telling others to maim themselves so they can look more like him

I don’t think anybody has actually DONE this, despite probably single digit instances of people like THAT suggesting it being picked up and massively reported as if it was advice that anyone followed, but he seems like enough of a sociopath that he wouldn’t discourage anyone from doing it. He has also encouraged fans to believe he murdered a pedestrian with his automobile, and nothing about his aura indicates this is some sort of satire on malicious social media personalities. he doesn’t even have defenders who try to claim it is satire like Alex Jones dones. He gets attention, presumably money, for being a sullen weirdo, and has not been given an incentive to stop nor life experience that would allow him to develop his own incentive to stop. There are several millenia of morons doing stupid things because they think god will protect or reward them (and indeed filling military-directing positions in several, if not all world governments), and now just the allure of “views” is enough to make them kill themselves eating spicy tortilla chips or detergent pods, so no rumored lethal fad is too implausible to be real, even if it isn’t real yet.

which makes it more real than this gaslighting and momentarily quite confusing before I realized it was fake advertisement twitch sent to my email in January despite me hating streams –in fact by January having a computer not stable enough for me watch streams even if i wanted to– and never using their chat boxes. even if it was real, and indeed people i don’t actually know tend to be the most sure of their expertise regarding what i “would love,” they are also consistently mistaken so I wouldn’t want to see whatever this hypothetically would be about anyway except to declare it foolish and invalid.

an extremely ugly drawing of the beaver-type mascot of the buc-ee’s convenience store+gas station chain holding forth a plush doll of itself and spraying blood on the ground out of a gasoline pump while declaring “Everything’s fine! Keep on buying crap!” the background attempts to show oil fields wastefully flaring off but also tomahawk missiles flying past but ALSO a construction vehicle pushing extra buc-ee’s figures into a landfill and these should probably have been several separate drawings

if this picture is a completely ineffectual and unclear protest at least you get to see a gross cartoon beaver, assuming you are into that sort of thing, which i probably would not draw otherwise
in fat this is better liked than my usual posts and considerably better liked than my usual gripey posts and i largely attribute that to the gross cartoon beaver but as long as viewers don’t contact me directly under the impression that i get off to gross cartoon beavers despite a quarter century of internet evidence that i don’t i will take what i can get.

I have heard only nice things about “buc-ee’s” from a frequent patron of that but he also tends to pretend-joke-like “normal” bits of america which we both understand to actually be horrible, but it disturbs me that a chain of combination world’s largest gas station and worthless souvenir store is somehow expanding when the natural results of this sort of consumerism on the world are only becoming more obvious, unpleasant and lethal, never even mind those to whom this was always lethal through a century of toiling in factories and sweatshops for little to no money in order to make trashy low cost american goods that probably get thrown out within a week of being purchased

Apart from that buc-ee’s incorporated is apparently extremely litigious against other convenience store chains with similar names or mascot logos despite it only being called “buc-ee’s” rather than “bucky’s” to begin with in order avoid being charged with copyright infringement by whoever owns the Ipana toothpaste mascot “Bucky Beaver” after which buc-ee’s is in fact named and the mascot more than casually resembles, via the founder being compared to the character as a child, and this apparently isn’t even an obscure fact. Just nobody asks “hey why is there a hyphen instead of a K and then two Es instead of a Y?” Buc-ee’s has also sued to keep a convenience store chain actually called “Bucky’s” but which lacks mascot signage out of texas. Granted I don’t have much faith in the integrity of a company that isn’t from Texas but wants to go into Texas but the point is that Buc-Ee’s is a sketch-ee business.

in fact when i tried to look up picture of the 1950s bucky now i found numerous pictures of other partially-dressed beaver characters also called bucky and some pictures of the buc-ee’s mascot from persons under the impression its name is simply “bucky” anyway even immediately after spelling the store name the official k-less way.

it was also reported less than two weeks ago that numerous –though not all– Buc-ee’s locations have been given F ratings from the better business bureau but I don’t know enough to say that isn’t a trait common among all convenience store chains. People shop at convenience stores for convenience and, ideally, no other reason. when a convenience store is bigger than a supermarket but still operating under convenience store principles it’s going to be a disaster.

The most recurring compliment i see about buc-ee’s is that its bathrooms are clean. It’s bathrooms are SUPPOSED to be clean! I would be more impressed if their car fuel was clean. Not having human waste smeared on the walls should not be a difficult obstacle to overcome.

unless buc-ee’s is cheating out its competition for being secretly run by skeletons I am not impressed.

facebook’s unrequested AI scan got to the point this time. there is of course no alternative to submitting to an obnoxious ai-scan when posting images on a billionaire-owned platform. maybe it is training the machine on my drawings but generally this is training that will only sabotage the “work” of sleazebags who think they are entitled to have the computer illustrate projects for them.

(I suspect that one of those link icons on the upper left has its data entered improperly which is why i can’t get them to go where i want and also why this comic strip image is trying to show up at full size but only on the front bimshwel page and not in the sub page version where i did not try to add an extra link icon when I was fiddling with them last month since I was having so much trouble doing that)

a very condensed version of a particular recurring complaint to hopefully make me shut up about it at least for a little while
friend and foe alike have commented elsewhere to make clear that they still deal with/are anti-fact shills as bad as the foremost source material for this HAD been so maybe that at least for now they aren’t or at least do not appear to be to the degree they had been represents a more positive shift overall than I have felt like it is.

of course the “foe” in this case seems to varyingly lack reading comprehension entirely which makes me wonder if it is an automated account or a human who trusts automation above its own humanity, and certainly anyone else’s. the inability to understand or unwillingness to put forth effort to combined with unwillingness to admit weakness is also a driving factor in ai-generation usage, which also leads to more grandiose, harmful and stupid misunderstanding
possibly i confused viewers by having the perching creature be smiling. i presume its job is specifically to encourage the typer to issue angry rebuttals, and not trying to issue “ho ho, trump is FINISHED this time!” style worthless premature gloating, though a different person than the one pictured here purported to be “in full agreement with” it, despite it not having expressed an opinion, so i assume its behavior was interpreted in such a manner. Life sure is fun when there is no single way i can not communicate what i want to effectively!

i can think of NOTHING more ENTICING than a SACK full of MEAT. I would betray an oath of loyalty and my past livelihood and risk execution should I be recaptured for that, but not otherwise, sure. I think a lot of people would. If glorious leader Trump is so worried about foreigners he should forego the illegal thug deportation ice gangs and just drop sacks of meat into whatever countries he is worried about. Gosh maybe the rest of us will even leave to go after it and he can have america to himself. The president can afford better food than that.

yes very much so. this is just the level of artistic quality and inspiration that i expect from someone who doesn’t know how to spell crayon.

meatwhile this guy is really han de to have around

of course not, obviously i was vaccinated

one thing that is funny to me about the japanese video game production and publishing company Koei’s longstanding obsession with Romance of the Three Kingdoms is that they refer to the famed hero Cao Cao as “Sousou.” With no space in the middle, presumably pronounced like Susu. Even in games that have been translated into English and the name outwardly presented as “Cao Cao” you might be able to find “sousou” labeled on the game’s internal data files. Even when we call him Tsao –or Sow or Cow; silly farmbred livestock, sure, but still bulky and formidable– he remains Susu on the insisiside. This guy is supposed to be the most treacherous and fearsome warlord of his era, if not all history, and he has the same name my sister got called as a baby. I like especially when it is combined with another word; a spinoff game called Legend of Cao Cao is just “Sousouden.”

however, i take freddy readiness very seriously

This song is NOT on that playlist and I will not be suggesting its inclusion even now that i know who it is about.

////////////////////

ALLLLLLSO i just moments ago realized that last night i accidentally “published” an unfinished post about moraff when i thought i was editing the previous week’s post about moraff to say that i wasn’t ready with a post for this week yet and also had not yet decided what that i was working on i would try and force into being a post for this week, which turned out to not be the one about moraff. if you saw it and wondered why it seemed unfinished, that is because it was! and if you saw it and didn’t notice it was unfinished, then this website is terrible!

some people you just can’t take anywhere

I spent far too long on this considering that I couldn’t even tell if it made sense. Which is consistent.

generally mario is only seen on adventures in hostile territory where jumping and shouting a lot may help in defeating or frightening foes, but perhaps like veteran soldiers or freed prisoners mario has difficulty outside of the dangerous situations he has adapted to survive in. but then as i spent longer [needlessly] refining certain bits of it I considered that I would not far too well either if stuff kept bumping into me and THEN I hit myself with a meatball, though still better than this.

and a truly masterful unrequested, non-preventable artificial intelligence assessment from faceboof. I am so glad the entire United States economy was force-fixated on to cramming this technology inextricably into everything.

there! look! he is right there! Only part 1 but presumably his torso and legs are nearby

Just one week ago I posted a tiny picture of Hulk “can I stop paying Marvel royalties for my first name now?” Hogan on this website and today he is dead. Let that be a lesson for you: believing in omens, curses and general superstitions lead to delusions and terrible judgement.

once he finished lying to children that they could get success like his through legitimate means, he spent the rest of his life burning bridges, stepping on former friends, using clout to get his way, long past the point where there was any personal practical benefit to getting his way, and shilling for garbage, all stemming from his ability to pretend to be good at fighting weirdly back in the 1980s, and in the end the only people with anything nice to say about him are right wing wealthy (at least in this obituary which may be picking and choosing whom it quotes) and or oblivious scumbags and even they rarely have any point of reference from the 1990s or later.

Really he might as well have been dead 30 years ago. (presumably I am still talking about Hogan; thankfully Carrot Top has never been socially relevant). I can only be grateful he was never able to become US president, bare his full awfulness to the world and have the entertaining parts of his legacy become completely sickening in retrospect the way trump’s did

i saw this line in shining force 3 and could only imagine it being spoken in the same voice hogan used in No Holds Barred to say the same thing and that is still funny for me to think about.

and for years I believed this (since I only had a wav file) was from 1991’s Suburban Commando but it is actually from 1989’s No Holds Barred, again failing to supercede the 1980s True enough, the 3 ninjas hogan I posted last week was from 1997 but as noted it was also incredibly tiny and I don’t know a single dumb line of dialog from that nor have even mis-attributed one to it.

a bonus, I was looking for Hogan-related lines in my quotation file to use as the header here and saw this one but I liked my dumb little comment on it too much to post without context. I wonder who that product would even have been for; even by 2006 Hogan was over 50 years old and probably not considered a profoundly energetic figure and if he was it wasn’t from drinking branded bad dubious soda

anyway with this event the last surviving person who was allowed to call me “dude” is deceased so I can be much more emphatic in my requests to not be called that going forward.

this ought to do/undude it

there isn’t enough bad news in the world so i made some of my own

you can click on it to try and get a better look if you need one, but you probably do not need one
sometimes i worry that it is not my place to criticize contemporary entertainment offerings since that is not made for me. But a long time ago it WAS, ostensibly, made for me, and i STILL didn’t like it

A scene perhaps not a whole lot more inspired than the envelope art sections in the magazines where I used to see these characters but probably more ambitious

If you recognize all or most of these there is something seriously wrong with you, but hopefully not enough for you to draw a similar picture.

i thought about having a contest to see who could name the most, but no reward I can offer would make up for the trauma you would have to go through in order to be able to do that

I had to exclude humans and post sega-saturn-era characters to ensure that I could eventually stop, though a few mild exceptions may have slipped through anyway.
I like a few of the characters and a few of the games even, not necessarily at the same time, but by and large they deserve what they get. They probably have some extra lives lying around anyway.

three substitutions occurred:

globmeister is easily the dorkiest claymate but i swapped in the mouse, instead since the only reason it exists was so the phrase “faster than a hedgehog” could be used in promotional material, Despite this speed being about as practical as a hedgehog’s at best, and usually less so. The gopher’s fire power is much more useful, from what i recall of claymates.
still i should have approached this with the expectation that most people who see this will not know most of the characters, and yet less will they know the hokey calculations behind any of the worthless beasts’ creations.

Initially I included both the terrible 1993 skunny that i wrote an appropriately terrible 2003 webpage about and also the 1995 “special edition” skunny that i did not learn of until years later. eventually i merged them into the left side figure so there would be space to draw in aero the acro bat. i decided that despite having insulted aero on previous occasions, again any person seeing the picture might well never see any other picture i ever made, and my disdain for aero and its games soars above most of the other characters, especially when i was refreshed on how much aero 2’s cut scene artist wanted aero to look like mickey mouse. and is certainly more LIKELY to be recognized than either skunny, so why have two of them? i also shortly afterward remembered that donk the samurai duck bears a D and that i could place it beside the other two to spell SAD. wonderdog has a W but while i can spell SAW and the stupid puppet from saw looks SORT of like one of these characters, I do not know it from its association with video games and so it would not qualify to appear.

bronkie health hero/the bronchiosaurus looks like croc because both of them are bare minimum creativity character designs. bronkie came several years before croc but who else knows that? the second health hero character “trakie” looks less like other better-known characters and so is more difficult to be mistaken for one, and so I added that one instead. In addition to removing the floating eyebrows from radical rex. As awful as they are, they interfere with the next lame dinosaur’s space.

i also used the blue character the one time that i played the game. i think the game is substantially better than aero the acrobat and the protagonist much less loathsome, even the one which looks like croc. Though it raises the question what my criteria is for inclusion, if I put characters I hate everything about amidst ones that I think were just stuck with a crummy company or set of directives. I didn’t add the cool croc twins either, and their game is probably worse than aero’s. Not because it is too limited in scope, as “zoom” also has extremely little for the player to do and I tossed that game’s moron in as soon as I remembered it existed.

And it wasn’t about space constraints because I added in billy the shell (Rmadillo), spanko, sally the blind cave salamander, who doesn’t even star in its own game, and psycho fox AFTER that. The only thing I can say for certain isARRHRHRHRHRGHH I’VE BEEN OUTFOXED

It is funny to think of people who never heard of me (or it) trying to identify the dope. All it does is cause problems.

this is not funny at all!

and LATER i added those dumb crocs anyway. it probably doesn’t need BOTH but I couldn’t choose one and had gotten it into my mind that they were really small so they seemed to both “fit.” Quik the Thunder Rabbit, while looking rather inflated in game still probably shouldn’t be so LARGE but its oversize was less apparent when there were fewer characters. Curiously i made both Brian the Lion and Oscar the [thing] smaller to accommodate WHIZZ, yet didn’t think of reducing quik. until now. oh fiddle dee dee.

after this i look forward to drawing more characters who do not have clown noses, buck teeth or eyes that touch

i suppose heart throbs is a better name than heart stabs, or myocardial murder munchies. Maybe “bleedies” would have worked

wah calm down please don’t shoot me with your alien ray gun, unfamiliar shouting person. This seems to indicate that your name is “Coco” but were that the case I can think of numerous other cereals that ought to have offered you endorsement deals.

not this one, though i would certainly welcome it if it meant keeping that creep bee away from My Kids.

i saw this plush effigy of the stop and shop “marty” robot in a bin with horrible elf legs decoration and thought they deserved each other.

apparently i have only mentioned marty one time, which may be too many. It is impossible to go to a stop and shop and not see one. what it does is slowly roll around the edges of aisles to try and block potential shoppers from entering or exiting. it searches for the tiniest, least consequential scraps of paper on the ground, then stops in place and starts calling out “Hazard, detected” forever until someone comes along and presses a hidden button on it that makes it shut up until it encounters another such obstruction. It is also able to trigger “clean up needed” announcements throughout the whole store if nobody presses the button soon enough. I presume its deployment has been used as justification for terminating employees. But fortunately these cheap pieces of trash ensure that a few additional sweat shop kids can earn three cents a day assembling them in the nearest country with no child protection laws. I think that is Trickle Down Economics.

I was surprised to see one in a half price bin since they tend to linger on designated shelves at full price after other similarly-themed merchandise would have been shuffled out of there and replaced with the next seasons’.

I call them “cheap” in the metaphorical sense. These full price pumpkin martspawn being from november 3 doesn’t PROVE my statement but apart from them christmas merchandise was already being rolled out in this section and there was no apparent inclination to get these out of there. They seem to be vying for the title of World’s Most Notorious Pumpkin


OH well pardon ME

other less prestigious positions may yet be available

these are going to be collector’s items one day. specifically, on wednesday, when a big truck drives around town gathering things like this, provided they have been deposited into the appropriate curbside vessel.

with that dorky facial expression and yellow helmet Dong Cheng seems more like Bong Cheng. I am not entirely surprised that his belt-inspired assassination attempt failed.

also it took me over nine years to mention this. despite a more html-named and internet-shrunken version appearing in the offline “nev” folder that i used in 2018, It is not in the online “nev” folder! What are you hiding from, Bong Cheng? nothing is beneath me now

ah ha sometimes i forget that a few other people still have standards

fortunately i do not feel like giving any right now!

elsewhere, Romance of the three kingdoms 8 is channeling my old phonics book

coincidentally, Lu Bu met Cao Mao in China, the same place where

Monki met Popeye, an event whose depiction may as of 2025 may no longer be considered bootleg, though presumably will continue to be nipple-legged.

isn’t it enough to beat up on these meeply little space aliens without stealing their handkerchiefs?


You’re not even going to let them wipe away their tears after you bop them into the air so they get stuck with their points in the ground?

If I had been consulted I would have insisted on giving them big smiles, stupid-looking ears and or bowties so players would understand that these creatures deserved this outcome.

See, how easy was that? Too easy. It does not deserve to succeed
WELL now that I have drawn and looked at this thing I realize it strongly resembles most of the moogles in the game. Why can’t I beat them up?

ARRRGF what WORTHLESS moogles! They already weren’t qualified to do a job and now they aren’t trying to! They are even named after how worthless they are! And now they are on my web page! I can’t handle this! I’m leaving.

Another day, another creepy yellow sky.

I am going to have to start wearing a helmet when I go outside now.

Assuming the subject event is “breathing,” how am I meant to avoid that which wouldn’t be worse than not avoiding it?

as someone who watched the manda lorian show when it was new and managed to enjoy it at the time despite the hype and my disapproval for the streaming platform being paid for by someone in my home, my immediate mental interpretation of the illustration on this object was “gremlin hiding in grimy toilet.” I don’t know what a tub tread is but it probably isn’t meant to be used in this location relative to the tub’s.

counter-intuitively, encanto being reduced to flat colors and simple shapes deprives it of a substantial quantity of disingenuous murderability, though certainly not being able to hear it also helps.

I don’t know what this is for either, but if a scent’s origin is a factory sealed package then it definitely isn’t natural. Maybe this is for scaring animals off your property.

an important rule for using currency portraits to advertise your business: make sure that if you’re going to crop within the existing dark backdrop so that it risks looking like hair and push the contrast so that the shadow under the nose risks looking like a mustache that these don’t combine to read as Hitler when seen from a distance.

yeah

also a good idea: don’t put a cartoon hitler in your official corporate logo. the “stars and stripes” 19th century bed attire isn’t fooling anyone (It also doesn’t makes sense since the stripes are inconsistently oriented between the sleeves and the middle part). even if you later remove the mustache and change the name of your company to “mattress firm” a few years later some creep on the internet is always going to remember.

I think it is telling that Sleepy teams up with two veterans of the Avengers but NOT Captain America. I understand it was mutual; Captain America objected to Sleepy ripping off his aesthetic and Sleepy objected to Captain America’s conduct during their previous meetings.

a suspicious drawing of sherry the talking mouse from several Ultima games abusing gargoyles with their own boomerang

I always liked the Gameboy game Ultima: Runes of Virtue. Attempts to directly port regular Ultima games to consoles felt unfinished and misguided, beyond even the degree to which the original non-sequel Ultima did, but Runes of Virtue was a specially crafted Gameboy action puzzle adventure perfect for the short play sessions that Gameboy was specially suited to.

DESPITE the very stupid dance that Sherry does at all times.

In frap it was only this past month that I saw enough of Ultima 6 to realize Runes of Virtue directly follows it, as back when I played Ultima: The False Prophet, its super nintendo port, I found it less unfair than Ultima Exodus, also a Nintendo system port and the only other game in the series I had tried, but still too unclear in its goals to get very far in. Nintendo versions hiding the title numbers didn’t help. BUT recognizing a bunch of the character names and concepts from Runes of Virtue helped me appreciate what I could of it slightly more than I would have otherwise. Certainly more than if I had known of and played the bewildering nes port of Ultima 5 instead.

Though it turns out to be the most accurate and playable Nintendo system Ultima port, that still was not enough for me to crack, apparently. Perhaps its most egregious offense of is presenting Sherry as an isolated-use item whose only purpose is retrieving a single essential item and optionally running under locked gates to steal other treasures or move switches, provided you think to try that,

and who inherits the hero’s neon green poison aura when deployed if you happen to have one available
rather than a fully functioning combat party member whose 1 strength allows her to only wield the likes of a boomerang, but with 27 dexterity, out of a maximum of 30, for deadly accuracy.

I actually have a legal copy of this game and apparently generated a character in it years ago, probably around the time that I regretted playing ultima 1, without going any further, and imagined it should be pretty easy to get to the same place the youtube video was at and take my own screenshots, since youtube pictures are ugly and the person whose video I took those from is an irritating bonehead anyhow. As hokey and annoying as Ultima is, I appreciate the progress it made across a few years and the influence even the shoddy ones had on better games, and reserve the right to laugh at them on my own terms, without condemning them. Some dork reading all the dialog aloud, stuttering half the time, and constantly interjecting snarky comments and complaining about how it is different and better in Ultima 7 makes it take longer and also me to hate him more than the video game he is suffering/cheating through.

But I was today unprepared for how irritating it also was to control Ultima VI even on its intended platform and how infrequently attacks connect even with high dexterity (though more so than without), so I could not easily recreate the scene. But I had already made the dumb drawing so felt obligated to try for longer than was sensible. I thought eh it can’t be THAT hard. I just need to kill ONE big gargoyle out here to have an unblurry picture of its body on the ground and then I can edit the text to say that Sherry did it.

sensing my unvirtuous inclination, an invisible doppelganger of the king Lord British with no property except raw scorn suddenly got a turn and crashed the game when I tried to enter a command and then stared at me disapprovingly until I forced dosbox to quit